At the end of my rope

[Deadendsaint]

I'm doing everything I can to just stay afloat, i've got no money, owe people like two hundred dollars now just in lunch money i borrowed, my grades are like... terrible (not just from homework as has been a constant problem, but im failing all my tests now too). My family life is just.... I dont even have words for it really, I mean a couple weeks back I was talking to an ex and she started being really immature to get me aggrivated. What she was doing never would have annoyed me in the first place, but it was the fact i knew why she was doing it that annoyed me. between that and my mother the compliation of things drove me to pick up a knife and cut myself 16 times (after that i started to feel it again) in hopes i might die of blood loss.

Going to school every morning wouldn't be so bad if I didnt have to worry about the one gay kid who wont leave me be no matter what I say to him. I've got rumors going around like theres no tomorrow. Apparently im a drug addict, had sex with 2 girls, flirt with anything that walks, theres others that aren't coming to mind right now, but the funny thing is, i've never been around for any of what the rumors accuse. I know who the people starting the rumors are and I really want to just go knock them out, but thats not like me at all. Whats worse is most my "friends" actually believe the shit...

I really dont know what to do anymore it seems like no matter how hard I try i'm just met with failure... in every single way concivable. the only thing im not doing badly at is video games. which is depressingly sad.

Can anyone offer even the slightest bit of advice... anything at all would be greatly appreciated.

[gixiefoist]

Well, I can't help on the home front, but school I can understand. If tuitoring and asking teachers don't help then it where you are that is the problem. Trust me, at my old school I got good grades A's and B's, but at my new school I'm lucking if I get a B in a single class. The only thing to do is power through try a different study method or try a fellow student. On the rumor problem try to be a charming, classic person. Take everything coming your way and brush it off as if nothing is going on. If it continues then the golden rule can start looking like "an eye for an eye" type rule, just not with the same vulgour intent. When you start acting like the words around are as peity and pointless as the people who said them. Then and only then will you begin to realize it true, but if you keep aborbing that garbage then you'll start to feel uneasy about yourself and those around you. Which just make life harder in general. Only you can change the situation your in, whether your willing to go the exra mile and half to make it better is up to you.