How to spot a Terrorist or why Santa Claus is a terrorist
By Adil Rahman
Number 1: They have beardsAll terrorists have beards, if they did not it would be virtually impossible for government agents to separate them from “moderate” Muslims. I mean like that totally make sense, if someone has a beard it must make them evil. A terrorist without a beard is like a teenager without an attitude problem - they just don’t exist.
Santa Claus has one of the biggest beards I have ever seen, and using the logic of our countries most respected anti-terrorist agencies he MUST be evil.
SPOT THE DIFFERENCE
^ Normal Terrorist ........................... ^ Santa Claus
Number 2: They shout things in Arabic
Of course another fact about terrorists is that they all Arabs or can at least speak Arabic. So if you see two people in the road speaking in Arabic they are terrorists and since mosques teach students Arabic they must be preaching terrorism. Simple isn’t it?
A common misconception is that Santa is saying “ho ho ho” what he is actually saying is “ho ho allah hu akbar!”
< Proof Santa is a terrorist
Number 3: They have bags filled with dynamiteOf course the bags don’t say TNT on the side that would just be stupid wouldn’t it? Who’d hire secret agents if they could just point out the terrorists themselves?
And believe me Santa’s sack is full of more than presents…
Number 4: They carry AK47’s Yes, if you see a bearded man waling down your street speaking Arabic and carrying an AK47, he is a terrorist.
^ Santa Claus.........................................^Terrorist
Number 5: They wear “I Love Osama” T-shirts
This is a tell-tale sign. However I could not find a picture with Santa Claus wearing one, and was too lazy to draw one. However below is a picture of what a real terrorist looks like:
