words & pictures, evelyn

It wasn’t often that she came across something in the ER that she actually wanted to spend time reading up on; ordinarily, a diagnosis was one that she could reach easily enough, and if she couldn’t, then the patient would be admitted and passed onto a specialist, depending on what their symptoms were. It was as simple as that, really; she dealt with the initial things, and if it was bad, then it wasn’t her job anymore. Trauma was what Ella dealt with, things being bad suddenly, accidents and attacks and strange breathing problems. Some of the things that people brought into the emergency rooms were things that didn’t need to be there. They had a cold, they’d twisted their ankle and then continued to wear high heels, stupid things that would be cleared up in a few days with rest and common sense. It really was a pain that common sense wasn’t something that Ella could prescribe, because she thought that there were some people out there who really needed it. Most of the time triage got those people sorted out before they ended up taking up a bed and talking to her, though, which was something, she guessed; it was great that people wanted professional advice instead of just self-medicating and looking everything up on the internet, because it wasn’t to be trusted and could actually induce psychosomatic symptoms in susceptible patients, just because they believed that they were suffering from brain cancer and had two days to live. There were enough hypochondriacs in the world as it was without them thinking that they had years of medical experience and could self-diagnose. Medical school was long and arduous for a reason: because it was never as simple as just reading a single article on the internet and suddenly being an expert.

Occasionally, a doctor called in to consult on a patient would come up with a diagnosis that Ella wasn’t familiar with, and she made it a habit to research them a little – and not on the internet, either, in an actual old-fashioned book. She loved the internet, it had wonderful uses, but everybody relied on it far too much these days. She liked sitting at her table, a notepad in front of her, a book to one side, still doing it by hand. It was this desire that had led to her a bookstore that she knew had a good selection of medical books and journals, at the back in a pretty dark corner, since they weren’t exactly the kind of thing that a lot of people wanted to spend their time browsing. She’d been off work a few hours, and was still wearing the clothes that she’d worn in today, having changed out of her scrubs in the locker room, the only difference being the absence of a lab coat and the fact that her hair was now loose. She’d touched up her make up in the car, because while she didn’t wear a lot, Ella knew that it was looking tired by the end of the day, and it was with purpose that she made her way to the section of the store that she was looking for. She’d been here enough times, after all, and it was nice to be doing something that didn’t involve a hospital for a little while, really. There were a lot of other things that Ella enjoyed doing, she wasn’t just a doctor, but sometimes it seemed as though she only ever seemed to spend her time at the hospital or clinic—or looking for someone to share a bed with, because she hated sleeping alone. She hated being alone in general. Pouting her lips slightly as she read over the titles, trailing her fingers down the spines as she attempted to find something she wanted – she was still surprised about some of the medical things that people actually bothered to write books about, and then she was even more surprised by the fact that them being published meant people actually read them – almost bumping into another woman as she moved from one shelf to the next. “Oh, I’m sorry.”

If anyone would have asked Evelyn if she regretted what she had done with her life... she wouldn't have known what to say, in all honesty. On one hand, she felt a sense of accomplishment over the fact that she had managed to accomplish a goal which she set for herself – not one outlined by her mother, influenced by what her parents were and liked to do. After such a long time of training and searching, she had finally found Illyria and, though the first meeting had been a disaster, the God-King gave her a second chance (and a pretty unusual gift to go with it). To put it simply, Evelyn had gotten herself into a huge mess and she knew that. But it was the mess she wanted for herself, so that made her happy. Illyria wasn't playing hide and seek with her any more and she was beginning to give her a few details about herself that Evelyn couldn't find in the books – such as whom the man in the sarcophagus was, a question that had bugged the young woman since the night when she was thrown against a wall because she dared mess with him.

On the other hand, there was barely a day when she didn't miss what she left behind in order to become Illyria's Qwa'ha Xahn. At that time, Evelyn had thought that her interest in medicine had to do only with her parents' influence but after a while she came to realize that it wasn't only that. The problem was that, by the time she realized that, it was well past the time when she could sit her admission exam for college and there were a few gaps in her knowledge. It was going to take a lot of extra work for her to be able to get into college and she didn't have the time for all that extra work. Getting a job in the medical field wasn't really an option either because there were few interesting things that Evelyn could do without a diploma. All she could do now was try to squeeze her passion in the little time she had left between her day job and being a High Priestess. Evelyn's newest idea was to add more medical books to her personal library – easier said than done, really. The books she was interested in weren't that cheap, so there were barely a couple she had bought so far.

After her shift at the library ended, Evelyn made a detour to the book shop on the way home, to see if they had anything new and interesting – on discount, preferably. She made her way to the shelves where the books which held her interest were set and tilted her head to the side, reading the titles on the spines. She almost let out a squeal of delight when she noticed that they had one tome about which she had heard nothing but the most brilliant opinions and which she would have died to get her hands on. Evelyn reached up to get, her brows furrowing when she realized that it was just a little too high for her to grab. Seriously? Why would someone put the best book up where smaller people couldn't reach it? Ugh, sometimes it sucked being small. Glancing to the side to see if there was something she could step on to reach up to the book, Evelyn managed to notice that another woman wasn't paying attention to where she was moving and stepped away in time to avoid being hit. ”That's okay”, she dismissed the apology with a small smile and then an idea crossed her mind when she realized that the other woman was conveniently taller than her. ”Hey, could I ask you a favour? I'd need a hand to get that book off the top shelf.”

The thing with being a doctor was that you never really stopped learning; every day was a learning experience, really, and while you might never have to take exams again (thank God), that didn't mean that there wasn't new knowledge to have, because there clearly was. Things changed, ideas changed, the best course of action for a specific illness changed, and while that affected Ella less because she wasn't a specialist for a particular thing, she still had to keep up with things, because the last thing she wanted to do was give somebody a treatment that would end up hurting them. That was the opposite of what she wanted, really, wasn't it? As a doctor, she wanted to make them better, and the idea of hurting people wasn't something she wanted to do, ever, whether in the hospital or just in general. Sure, she could get angry sometimes, that was just part of being a werewolf, but while she might moan about how she wanted to kill somebody, it wasn't something that ever actually became more than that moaning – and everybody did that, now and again, regardless of their species or profession. Ella lost patients, sometimes, and it broke her heart, because she didn't want that to happen. She wouldn't say that she killed them, even if that stupid werewolf gene of hers disagreed, but yeah, they died, and it was horrible. She saw what happened to them, she got them through it and they seemed to be getting better, and then...nothing. That was hardest, that was worse than people who were rushed straight into emergency surgery and didn't make it. It was always hardest, when she'd gotten to know the patient a little, because they were always more than just a chart and a body in a bed to her. That was how it was supposed to be; surgeons saw the bodies, the parts that were broken and needed to be fixed. She saw the person as a whole.

She didn't necessarily like the patient; Ella was no saint, she wasn't going to claim something like that, because it was blatantly untrue. She really, really disliked some of them, in fact, but everybody had a right to medical care, and she wasn't going to deny them that because their personalities didn't mesh; she was their doctor, she had a duty to heal them as best she could, and it wasn't like she had to be friends with them. She could just moan about them in the doctor's lounge and be as polite and warm as ever when she was by their bed. Some people were just jerks because they were in pain and scared. She understood that; she understood how being scared could make you into a different person, sometimes, and while she didn't need to see doctors herself, since she healed quickly are rarely got sick, it didn't change the fact that Ella knew she would have preferred to see someone who was trying to make her feel better, rather than someone coarse and harsh who made her feel like crap. The people in the emergency room already felt like crap, after all. She was there to make them better, and she liked that that was her job. She hated violence, would always attempt to be the peacemaker of a situation, because she saw how quickly things could escalate, people coming in beaten and stabbed and shot. Maybe they couldn't hurt her like that, but she still didn't want it to happen. She'd been like that even before she'd been a doctor, really; it was a part of her personality, rather than something her career had made her think. Ella wanted to help. Even if it was outside her capability, she would try to do that.

She smiled, glad that the woman didn't seem too bothered – she knew that some people could overreact terribly when someone wasn't quite looking where they were going, and while Ella didn't understand how something like that could cause someone to get mad, especially when there had been an apology, she had definitely been shouted at before just because she'd not quite been looking where she was going, and had stepped into the path of someone whose life couldn't be interrupted for five minutes, because they were so important or something. She nodded at the request; it was the least she could do, and it wasn't like it affected her in any way, really, was it? People who were unwilling to help others, even for something so small, bothered her. Ella didn't understand where kindness had gone, sometimes. “Of course,” she replied, easily reaching up to get the book down – being tall had some benefits, undoubtedly – and looking at the cover before she held it out to the woman. “Oh, this is a really good read. It gets a little heavy-going in the middle, but it's worth getting through. He has some interesting conclusions.”

There were times when being a short person absolutely sucked. This was one of those times. It happened so often that Evelyn didn't even have the energy to get very annoyed over it any more. Any place that had merchandise displayed on shelves was bound to trigger the same frustration out of her because, inevitably, something she was really interested in was displayed well above her range of height. And, unfortunately, not all shop owners thought of solutions for shorter people to be able to get what they wanted. Some of them even had the nerve to glare if she asked for their help to retrieve something off the higher shelves, especially if she ended up changing her mind and not buying the respective item in the end. That type of people really needed to attend some extra classes on dealing with their clients but that was another story entirely. Stores were not the only place where it wasn't easy being short. There were plenty of inconveniences on the street as well, especially when Evelyn needed to spot something in the distance – which was virtually impossible in case a taller person was walking or standing in front of her.

In spite of these inconveniences and minor nuisances, Evelyn was pretty happy with the way she looked and she thought that a couple of more inches – while useful – would have taken a little from her particular charm. Without being narcissistic, Evelyn loved her body, especially after the years of training in martial arts developed her muscles harmoniously. When she left home, she was pretty thin and stringy, since she didn't get any exercise outside P.E. classes. No, she preferred spending her time with a book and, at that time, she didn't really see any use for a future surgeon to insist on training their muscles. It wasn't as if that was an occupation that required extra strength. Being Illyria's High Priestess, on the other hand, required muscle and if it hadn't been for that change in her purpose in life, Evelyn would have still been the thin and short young girl no one spared a look at. Who would be attracted by someone who looked as if they had nothing between their skin and their bones? Evelyn knew she wouldn't be, even if she wasn't the kind that judged a book exclusively by its cover.

A grin spread to Evelyn's lips when the taller woman agreed to help her. Just because the woman looked nice and apologized for almost bumping into her, that didn't mean that she might automatically have a good reaction to being asked a favour. Some people were odd like that and you could never know when they started yelling over the fact that someone had the audacity of bothering them and wasting their precious time. ”Thank you!”, she replied, visibly happy that she was one step closer to the book she was interested in, metaphorically speaking. Evelyn reached out to take it from the woman, her eyes widening a little as the other woman confirmed what she kept hearing. ”Yeah, I read a lot of reviews online and they were all positive. I'm beyond anxious to read this”, she admitted, maybe a little too enthusiastic than she should have been in front of a stranger. A stranger who was obviously a doctor, since she read it as well. Evelyn turned the book around in her hands and glanced at the price tag, her enthusiasm dying almost immediately at the sight of the price tag. ”Oh...”, she muttered. It didn't really fit into this month's budget. Maybe if she saved this month and the following month? Sighing softly, she set the book on one of the lower shelves. ”I guess I'll have to wait a little more until I know what the conclusions were”, she said, trying to smile a little. ”Thanks for helping.”

Ella had never been particularly self-conscious, and she certainly didn't have a problem striking up a conversation with a stranger in a bookstore; given the area that they were in, they had to have at least a basic understanding of medicine, which gave them something in common, and it wasn't as though Ella planned for the people that she ran into to automatically become her best friends. That didn't mean that she had to be rude, though, and she didn't understand why people were that way; did it cost anything to be polite, even if your day was interrupted a little? She was a people person, she knew that, because you had to be at least somewhat charismatic to be able to deal with patients on a regular basis, there had to be some kind of bedside manner there, because nobody wanted to deal with a doctor who didn't seem to want to talk to their patients. Sure, sometimes they asked stupid questions, or they got upset and angry and directed it towards her when she was always doing everything that she could, but that wasn't reason for Ella to get snappy, or anything like that. God, no. It was the last thing that she wanted; sometimes you had to be firm with people, sometimes you had to know when to say no, because there was absolutely such thing as being too polite, and it could move from being nice to being a doormat, but that was never justification for being rude. Right now, for example, talking to this woman would probably take, what, five minutes out of her day at most, it wasn't like it was an inconvenience for her to get a book down when she was directly in front of that shelf anyway, and maybe she'd make a new acquaintance out of it. Ella loved making friends, she loved getting to know people, and yes, she knew that it was because of her fear of being alone, but did her reasoning matter when it came to getting to know someone? She didn't think so.

She wasn't going to unequivocally say that she wasn't going to befriend this woman, because who knew, but equally, if their only conversation was a few comments about the book she'd been asked to reach, then that was okay too; Ella really didn't mind, and she wasn't just saying that. Honestly, it was nice that the woman had been polite enough to actually phrase it as a question, because sometimes she found that New Yorkers could be surprisingly rude – and that was coming from somebody who had grown up just outside the city, and absolutely considered herself to be a New Yorker too. “You're welcome,” she said with a smile, and it was really no trouble at all; she had the height advantage, and she was here anyway, since she still hadn't found the book that she was looking for. It was no skin off her nose, in the slightest. The woman seemed nice, anyway, and Ella was always happy to help people when they were interested in her field; she didn't know if the woman was a doctor or just someone with a keen interest, but either way, there were worse things she could be doing than having a quick chat with her, she thought. “It definitely lives up to the reviews,” she agreed, and to actually be able to recommend something? That was also awesome, she thought; this could have been a far more boring trip, undoubtedly. She went back to perusing the shelves, frowning when the woman sighed; she knew what it was like, to struggle to be able to afford all the text books that she either needed or wanted, and so she understood where this woman was coming from, she really did. “Look...I've got a copy of it at my clinic. I'd be happy to lend it to you.”

Practically running away from home as a teenager and abandoning her studies weren't great premises for Evelyn to start her independent life, not at all. For once, acting against what her mother wanted her to do had earned her the woman's anger and, although Evelyn hadn't been disowned, she was in a pretty similar position. The only reason why her mother ever wanted to her was to insist that she stopped acting crazy and returned home at once. Obviously, in order to make sure that everything was set for Evelyn to return home, her mother also refused to send give her any money, even if she was perfectly aware that there were times when her daughter really needed some financial assistance. When she only started training to become a Qwa'ha Xahn, in San Francisco, Evelyn didn't have the time or the energy to find a job and earn herself a living. Luckily for her, her father loved her dearly and unconditionally and sent her money behind her mother's back. Without his help, Evelyn would have caved in and given satisfaction to her mother.

Up to this day, her dear father continued to send her money, every once in a while, and Evelyn couldn't feel more grateful for it. Having a part time job at the library was better than having no job at all but the money she earned was hardly enough for her to afford the luxury of buying expensive medical books. Evelyn could afford paying the rent, buying a month's worth of groceries and other stuff she needed for good housekeeping, paying the utilities and her cell phone bill. What was left was enough for her to enjoy a couple of nights in a club, having fun and forgetting how weird of a life she had chosen for herself. That was pretty much it. If she wanted to buy herself clothes or shoes, she had to count on what her father sent her or to sacrifice some nights out. Same if she wanted to spoil herself with a book that would stimulate her passion for medicine. Evelyn knew that the only way she could afford everything she wanted to buy was by getting herself a second part time job or a full time job but both were completely out of the question. Her “second job” was being a priestess to an ancient reincarnated demon. Too bad there were no salary and benefits with it.

Seeing a book whose cost was way out of her budget wasn't something new to Evelyn. That didn't mean it ever stopped her from being pouty and feeling miserable when it happened. She easily got excited over anything related to her passions and when something like this happened, her enthusiasm was curbed way too suddenly, like someone cut down her wings and she came crashing down from her happy little cloud. Evelyn didn't expect anything special to happen when she made the comment that implied that she couldn't afford the book. The only reason why she said something out loud was because she didn't want the stranger to think that she made her pull the book down for no reason at all; she would have bought it without a second thought if the price were a little more reasonable. When the other woman said something back, Evelyn thought she didn't hear her right. Green eyes widened in surprise and she tried to say something but words refused to come out right away. ”You... You'd lend me your copy?”, Evelyn finally managed to speak up. ”You... have a clinic? Oh my God... That is so awesome!” Letting out a small squeal-like sound, Evelyn all but pounced the stranger to give her a hug. ”Thank you, thank you, thank you!” She didn't think she could be happier over such an unexpected act of kindness from a complete stranger and that feeling didn't let her think too much about how appropriate it was to squeal or hug people in a book shop. Evelyn could be really childish at times.

Ella had reached a point in her life where she was completely self-sufficient, and the last thing she wanted to do was ask her parents for money unless she was really desperate for it; she'd been that way ever since medical school, really, fiercely independent, and she still spoke to them regularly, went up to see them when she had enough time off work, but she made her own way in the world, now. Maybe they still gave her money for her birthday, or Christmas, but that was as far as it went, really. She had a job, she worked long hours to be able to afford everything – and it was a lot harder now that she was doing it all on her own, instead of sharing the bills with Luke, but she was used to it now, knew that even when she found him again, he was unlikely to be able to work for a while – and yeah, some months she couldn't afford everything she wanted, but that was just life, wasn't it, really? She wasn't badly off, and she was doing something that she loved, which was the important thing, at the end of the day. There had never really been anything else that she'd considered, when it had come to her career; she'd always loved science, she'd been good at it too, and medicine had seemed like the most logical career path to follow. She wanted to help people, to make them better, she'd done first aid courses and had always been good at those, not being even the tiniest bit squeamish at the sight of blood, or anything like that, and so it had been perfect for her, really. Pre-med at college, then medical school, and it had been a hell of a lot of hard work, and she'd been so tired that she wanted to curl into a ball and sleep for a thousand years, sometimes, but Ella had always wanted to be a doctor. There had never been any other option, as far as she was concerned, and it was worth every long night. She was doing something great, after all, something that she loved.

And there was always something new to learn. Ella loved that it wasn't static, that she never felt as though she was doing the same thing over and over again. Monotony like that would have frustrated her no end, she was sure, and that was part of the reason that her speciality was emergency medicine. There were other areas that interested her, certainly, but none like working in the ER. Oh, it was tiring, it was messy, she frequently got yelled at, but to be able to deal with so many different things, to be able to work quickly and solve the puzzle before time ran out at the patient was dead...it was great. She could see the benefit of getting to know patients, to be a part of their life and see how they were getting on, but she got that in the clinic, in particular, since once hunters had come to trust her they really didn't want to see another doctor, and there were always going to be a few people in the local area who came into the ER far more often. She liked where she was, and sure, she had aspirations, she wanted promotions, she wanted the head of emergency medicine job, eventually, but she was happy to take things as they came, right now. Things with her career were good. “I will come and hunt you down if you don't give it back,” she replied, jokingly, and maybe it was wrong of her to trust a perfect stranger, but she wasn't getting any bad vibes here, and she knew how much it sucked not to be able to afford the books that you wanted. She was surprised at the hug, but only took a moment to return it, smiling; when she could make someone this excited, why was she going to say no? It was good karma, after all. “I have a clinic, and you're welcome,” she confirmed, stepping back and holding out her hand. “I'm Ella.”

There was a chance that the people who happened to be in the book store at this particular moment were already thinking that the petite brunette in front of the medical section was a mental case. How many people randomly squealed in the middle of book shops and hugged people? Well, probably those that were suddenly reunited with someone whom they haven't seen in a really, really long time and whom they were particularly close to – that was a good reason to justify that kind of reaction. Of course, this wasn't the case for Evelyn. The woman who kindly helped give her the book she couldn't reach and who took her by complete surprise and offered to let her borrow the same book she couldn't afford to buy was a complete stranger to her. Knowing that would have probably made the people in the store be even more convinced that she was crazy. Honestly, who cared? This wasn't something that happened every day, a perfect stranger doing such an act of kindness, no. Evelyn could think of plenty of times when people whom she used to consider close friends, back when she was in high school, who turned their backs on her when she needed them and refused to grant her small, harmless favours – not that she was the kind to ask for favours a lot, like some people. It just so happened that there were times when she needed help and it hurt a little to be turned down, especially when the ones doing it couldn't even come up with a decent reason for it.

Completely ignoring the fact that Evelyn didn't even know the other woman's name, for the moment she was her favorite person in the whole world. Uhm... second favorite – something told her that it wasn't wise to replace Illyria from the high pedestal she was supposed to be placed on. She was sure that she was going to spend a good part of the day grinning like a fool in excitement over the idea that this wonderful woman was going to borrower her the book which had spike her interest with its content and crushed her dreams with its price tag. Although Evelyn was aware of the fact that the other woman was joking when she said that she would hunt her down if she didn't return the book, Evelyn shook her head very seriously from one side to the other. ”I wouldn't even dream to do something like that after you've been so nice to offer it”, she answered. ”It might take me a while to finish reading it but I promise I will return it in perfect condition.” If she started reading it during her hours at the school library... Evelyn tried to estimate an average of pages she could go through per day and the first figures confirmed her suspicion that it was going to take a couple of weeks before she went through the whole book. The young woman didn't want to treat it like some ordinary piece of fiction and rush through it; she wanted to take her time and properly process everything that was written there, try and formulate her own conclusions before reading the author's ones. Depending on when she actually got the book in her hands, Evelyn was going to try to give the kind stranger a fair estimate of when she could reasonably return it.

“I have a clinic, and you're welcome”

”Wow...” There wasn't really much more Evelyn could say to something like this. She was now sounding completely childish in her head but this woman was now her hero. To have your own clinic was something great, in the young woman's mind – come to think of it, the other woman didn't look that much older. To think that she had achieved something like this... Wow. And was it really bad that Evelyn was feeling a tinge of jealousy and she wondered what it might be like to be in her place? ”I'm Evelyn. Friends call me Evey”, she introduced herself, reaching to shake Ella's hand. After a couple of moments, she realized that she was staring a little at Ella and a pink shade crept up on her cheeks. ”Ella, would I be really pushing it if I asked to visit your clinic sometime and hang around for a few hours? I always wanted to become a doctor and I'm still a little nostalgic over that dream”, Evelyn admitted, hoping she wouldn't sound too weird. Ella did say the book was at the clinic so she could probably go there to take it and stay for a couple of hours?