How'd We Get Here?, Tag Wesley

[Charles Gunn]

The hunters had what they needed and Gunn was thankful for that. The last thing he wanted to do was stick around one more minute in that place – he was ready to go. He and the crew had a hell of a lot on their hands, and now Gunn knew exactly what they were dealing with. As if they didn’t have enough, now some new big bad chick was controlling almost all supernatural species. He had already checked on Angel, and although he was mostly MIA, doing the brooding thing, it was better than being a crazy ass murdering psychopath named Angelus. From where Gunn was standing, that guy wasn’t going to make any appearances but Gunn was always about double checking when it came to that mess – there was no such thing as being too careful, that’s for damn sure.

But as the hunters filed out, Gunn saw Wesley was still around. Now Gunn knew he should have just left with the hunters. But the more he looked at Wesley, the face that shot Alaric, the face that threatened Illyria – in Fred form no less , the face that killed Sean – it was like he was paralyzed with anger. He wanted to say something. But what was there to say? He was sick and tired – and it almost felt like everything that he trusted when he joined Angel Investigations fell a part when LA did – the only home he ever knew. He knew those streets like the back of his hand. Now, it was destroyed. The moment Wesley died, things were never the same. Angel wasn’t the same, the team wasn’t the same, and Gunn sure as hell looked at things different since LA went under.

Yeah, pieces were picked up. Angel Investigations had new offices, NYC wasn’t such a bad joint – Gunn saw need there. But after The Great Revelation…something was just different. Gunn couldn’t place it. But the mission was skewed. Everyone making friends with vampires – new species coming out, it was hard to figure out how the game changed and what the rules were. And with Illyria doing her own thing, Lorne gone - doing his own thing, Spike disappearing, Wes gone, Fred…gone – Gunn decided to do it his way. He formed another crew, but the more he’s seen with those guys, the more he got in touch what he used to be about. Some part of him felt that getting back to the basics was where he needed to be – all those shades of grey going on with Wolfram & Hart – the same shades that led him to keep that law knowledge in his head in exchange for Fred’s life – well, let’s just say he had enough of that.

So when Wesley came back as a ghost – a prisoner of Wolfram & Hart – Gunn wanted nothing to do with him. He couldn’t trust him – he knew what that firm would do to a person – and Gunn wasn’t about to take the risk of giving that place the benefit of the doubt. As far as he was concerned, that place tore everything apart. Plus, he’d already lost Wesley. He died fighting for them, fighting for what was right. Was that ghost the same Wesley? Or some shadow of him that Wolfram & Hart molded? Gunn couldn’t tell – no one could. And bottom line – Gunn was staying as far from W&H as possible. If that meant staying away from Wesley – so be it. He had to focus – and he wasn’t about to mess with that firm’s mind games any more.

That is, until he thought Wesley was – well, Wesley. Until Wes came through for Gunn when he needed him, despite everything. Despite all the grief Gunn put him through. Gunn was starting to believe that W&H’s hold on Wes wasn’t as tight as he thought. He started to believe Wesley wasn’t really …well, dead, when it came to the mission. So when it was revealed that Cain was Wesley or some form of him – all bets were off. Mentally he knew – he knew that what ever made Wesley kill Sean wasn’t his fault. But it was hard to get past it. He was tired of being messed with by Wolfram & Hart, and what ever happened to Wesley that got him into that state – it felt personal. It felt like his friend had turn his back on everything – and it felt like he lost Wesley all over again. And Gunn was tired of it.

How'd they get here?

Everyone had left the library and it looked like Wesley was leaving too, but Gunn stopped him. He couldn’t let Wesley walk away. He should have – hell, he didn’t know what he was thinking. But Gunn stepped up to him – the words “Hold up,” coming out stern and strong, which opposed everything that was going on in his head.

“We ain’t finished,” Gunn said. “You think you can just do what you did and just walk away?” Cain murdered Sean, not Wesley. But Gunn needed someone to blame. Sean’s death couldn’t have been for nothing.

[Wesley Wyndam-Pryce]

If Wesley were to make a list of the days he hated the most since his return to this plane of existence, at the hand of the Senior Partners, this day would have easily been number one on that list. The last hour have been pure agony, both in the metaphorical sense of the word and in the strictest one. He had the suspicion that it was going to be a bad day ever since the moment when he was announced that Stephen would be needing his services in the library later that day, for some of the firm's clients. It always annoyed Wesley to give a helping hand in the dealings of the Wolf, the Ram of the Hart, which is why he was asked to do it quite often. If he would have known who the clients in question were, he would have... such a silly thought. He would have what? There was nothing he could possibly to in order to avoid being in the library when he was needed. He could have very well left the firm, to go to the farthest corner of town, and Stephen or some of the other necromancers in the service of the firm would have still been able to summon him back. Tug on the strings, make the puppet move like you want it to.

What Wesley felt the moment in which he materialized inside the library was hard to describe. He was used to accusatory and distrustful looks being cast towards him but never from so many people at once and never for the reasons they had. The things Cain had done to them... Wesley couldn't even bear looking them in the eyes after he learned about the fact that he was one with the new liaison of the Senior Partners, in a strange and deviously perfect way. Months ago, for the first time in years, it seemed like things were finally getting a little better between him and his former friends, Angel and Gunn. They had seemed willing to accept the fact that he was not a traitor, that he was still the same Wesley he had always been – at least as far as his loyalties were concerned – and then, all of the sudden, everything was ruined once again. The Senior Partners must have gloated in the glory of having destroyed all that trust for good, in having finally established them as enemies on the chess board.

While they gloated, Wesley had to deal with the hatred coming from them, making him feel more humiliated and worthless than he ever felt before. As if that wasn't enough, he had to learn that Illyria had slept with Dean and then he had to deal with Stephen's punishment for his deeds, part of it occurring right in front of the ones that dreaded Cain and wanted to see him dead. Judging by the looks he received when he returned in the library later, after Stephen was done with him, Wesley could tell that the hunters didn't really understand much of what had happened. In their eyes, he was Cain and whatever happened earlier had no particular relevance. He avoided watching them for more than it was necessary, keeping mostly to the side, quiet, until they found what they needed. It felt like a painfully long time passed until they were finally satisfied with their research and left towards places which were much safer than the headquarters of the Wolf, the Ram and the Hart. One of them didn't rush to leave and Wesley could feel his piercing gaze on him even as he busied himself with checking that none of the books which were consulted had been taken away by an overly zealous hunter – a simple task but it felt like it was taking ten times longer than it should have, perhaps because he feared that, at any moment, Gunn would lash out on him.

Gunn was the last person Wesley wanted to deal with right now, when his incorporeal form was still throbbing with pain and all he wanted to do was go to his office, close his eyes and just... drift away into a low-energy state, until the pain went away and he recovered from the display of Stephen's wrath. When he was finally done with the task at hand, Wesley turned to leave. Unfortunately for him, the moment he dreaded so much happened. His footsteps drew to a halt when Gunn called for him and he rolled his eyes, turning towards the other man. Wesley offered him a half-hearted glare. ”We're finished, Gunn. Anything you might have to say, I'm pretty sure you've said it before during these past years. I haven't even done what you plan of reproaching me but I'm not in the mood to try and explain, since you won't listen anyway.”

[Charles Gunn]

It was a different headquarters in a different city, with different management, but everything seemed like it was frozen in time - seemingly transported from LA to NYC. Gunn just felt like he knew those halls like the streets - and the operations of the firm that had cost them lives. All these years? Damn right - he wanted nothing to do with Wesley. Gunn even went so far as to stay away from those dumbass lawyer dramas on TV, he didn't even want to access the Wolfram & Hart knowledge in his head if at all necessary. But he still couldn't cut his ties completely - he hadn't exactly mastered the art of thought censorship and plus - there was Wesley. Gunn's top priority was his crew right now, and since Cain was roaming around killing folks - Gunn couldn't be cool with that - whether Wes was a ghost or not, whether Wes had mentally aligned with Wolfram & Hart or not.

That was the main issue. That place could corrupt. As much as Gunn grieved for his friend Wes, the Wes he knew, the Wes he trusted, he couldn't make the same mistake. It was not just for himself anymore. His crew was his family too and Wesley...Wesley killed Sean. Those three words were all he had left of Wesley so in a way...Wesley was truly dead to him.

Gunn matched the glare Wesley shot at him. Looking into those tired, weary, icy eyes - Gunn saw misery. He wasn't blind, the way necromancer Crowley controlled Wes like that was freaky. Yet at the same time that he saw what used to be his friend, he also saw the heartless killer. The man who call Fred's form crazy and wanted nothing but to see Gunn and everyone else suffer.

Gunn shook his head a bit, jaw clenched. "I saw you," Gunn said, ignoring much of what Wesley said even though he had listened. He stepped up to him then - a threatening stance - his form tall and loomingg. No there was nothing he could do to Wesley that hasn't already been done, but Gunn's reflexes got the best of him. Old habits maybe. "I saw you shoot that guy - Ric - in the chest. I saw you try to kill innocent people, man. People who are what we used to be - people tryin to do the right thing. An 18 year old human girl was kidnapped, Wes. You mean to tell me that wasn't you callin' the shots? Not even a part of you? Huh?" Practically through his teeth, failing to contain that anger.

"How could you, man? You sat there and lied to my face. I apologized to you because I thought I was wrong about you."

[Wesley Wyndam-Pryce]

"I saw you"

These three words made Wesley let out a breath that could have easily passed for a chuckle. It would have been completely inappropriate to chuckle during a confrontation such as this one, he knew. He also knew that slips such as this one were more easily accepted if they came from someone whose sanity was no longer in one piece. Wesley considered his own sanity to be more fragmented than a jigsaw puzzle, so he had an excuse for such a reaction. He didn't care if Gunn wouldn't understand it. The ghost of a man was convinced that his former friend wouldn't. After all, these three simple words proved in kind that Gunn was completely unable to wrap that knowledge-enhanced mind of his around what happened to him – what Wolfram and Hart had done to him. Why would Gunn try to understand anyway when it was so much easier to pick up the stone and throw it? It wouldn't have been the first time when his alleged friend cast him aside without making the smallest of efforts of thinking things through, of finding a little something within him to allow him to offer him a second chance. Wesley was used, by now, to Gunn thinking that he had a moral highground and that he was entitled to judge him. Oh, how easy it had been for his friend to forget about his own sins, about the signature he placed on a sheet of paper that sealed Fred's fate, mercilessly tearing her away from his life.

Although Gunn walked closer and his stance seemed threatening, Wesley stood his ground, keeping his back as straight as he could amidst all the pain that flared through whatever matter he was made of. Gunn did not intimdate him because there was nothing he could do to him in his current condition. No, there was nothing Gunn could do to him regardless of his condition. Had he been material, Wesley would have stopped the other man before he had a chance of laying a finger on him – that, however, was a different story, completely useless to think about at the moment. "No, Charles, you didn't see me", Wesley answered, emphasizing the last word. "You saw Cain do all those things you just mentioned. I am not Cain and he is not me..." His voice trailled off into a laughter and he shook his head. "Well, I like to say to myself that he is not me and that I am not him but, tell me, did Illyria tell you what Cain told her?"

Wesley watched his friend for a couple of moments and then brought his hands behind his back, beginning to slowly walk towards one of the windows. "It seems that Stephen and his lackeys did use a part of me in order to create Cain, therefore I imagine that you will consider this as the ultimate proof of my treason and of me being behind every little thing that Cain did. In reality, whenever he is present, I simply... am not." Wesley huffed. "Not that I expect you to understand any of that." Gunn's next accusation made Wesley turn to face the other man, shaking his head. "No, once again you are wrong. You were and you are wrong about me. I never lied. I only learned who Cain was the same day you did and that does not change anything I told you that day: I want him dead, now more than ever before." Why was he telling any of this to Gunn, Wesley didn't know. He had no expectation that the hunter would even try to understand him.