make it up as we go, tag ella

WHAT DAY IS IT? AND IN WHAT MONTH? THIS CLOCK NEVER SEEMED SO ALIVE.
i can't keep up and i can't back down, i've been losing so much time.
ALL OF THE THINGS THAT I WANT TO SAY JUST AREN'T COMING OUT RIGHT. I'M TRIPPING ON WORDS.
you've got my head spinning. i don't know where to go from here.
• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

When it came down to it, hunters had a short amount of time to make a decision. If they made the wrong one, people died. They didn’t have the time to sit down with a werewolf and decide whether or not that were a threat or not. They couldn’t make sure that they found a way to keep themselves down and he didn’t even know how realistic it was to ask a werewolf to be locked up on the full moon. The truth was, it hadn’t been a question most of his life. After Madison, he reevaluated a little, but the answer was always the same, that they had to do what they had to do and they had few choices. And it sucked and it didn’t sit well with him if he thought that there was a good person that could end up hunted because of what they were. But, it also didn’t sit well to think of humans dying because of some supernatural creature. There was a grey area and as a hunter it took a lot to think about it. And sometimes he couldn’t. Dean had a generally black and white view, but it wasn’t the scope of what he saw. He’d grown up a lot in a few years and so had some of his ideas. But, he couldn’t be too preoccupied, not when he had enough guilt stacked up from every other damn thing he couldn’t save. The idea that he could hurt someone that didn’t deserve it, it was too much to think about. He had to remind himself that they weren’t human and that he was saving lives. He wasn’t a bad person, nor was he a monster himself. Dean was out there trying to help people. Most hunters were. And while there were some he didn’t agree with, it didn’t make them bad people.

There were no right or wrong answers and there wasn’t some kind of guidebook. It was better that way though, because he was sure that not every hunter would have the same version. He followed what he had been taught and what he experienced himself. Dean was the type of person that trusted the judgment and instruction of people he trusted or from himself and what he had seen with his own eyes. It took a lot for Dean to listen to anyone else. And it was even harder for him to learn to trust someone. It took a lot of work for him to establish that relationship with someone. All of his life, he’d been guarded. Hunters didn’t tend to hunt in groups. They were solitary, more or less. And while they might gather at bars dictated to them or have a web of connections and information to follow, there weren’t a lot of them that teamed up. And Dean had very few hunters that he would trust at his back. Growing up, it had been all about family. They were the ones that were there for him and the ones he could trust above all else. He knew they weren’t going to lead him down the wrong path. And he’d learned that there were plenty of people that would. And while his family expanded and there were more people that he could trust aside from blood, it still wasn’t a lot of people that fell under that. And just because he was their friend never meant that he would trust them with his life. There weren’t a lot of people that he could say that about, but probably for the better. He didn’t want to go risking putting it in the wrong hands.

And he especially didn’t understand why anyone would put it in the hands of vampires. There was nothing trustworthy about them. Even if they claimed to be good and acted under control, they were still prone to eating humans. That was still what they were meant to do and Dean had no reason to believe that they wouldn’t, if given the chance. In fact, he thought for sure that they would. He figured that the whole publicity stunt was a way of getting close to humanity and taking advantage of their trust when they least expected it. If any other outcome occurred, he would be surprised. Even though he hoped that it didn’t happen that way. He didn’t want to see people die or be hurt because they believed wrongly. He especially didn’t want to see young girls picked off because they trusted a vampire or thought they were somehow in love with one. They might have been idiots about it, but that didn’t mean they deserved to die. “I don’t know. They’re likely to just argue until you can’t say anything else. Still, someone should’ve told ‘em beforehand.” Or at least before they started to fall for the glamour. “That’s my biggest dream right now. Too bad I don’t see any way of that happening.”

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
THERE'S SOMETHING ABOUT YOU I CAN'T QUITE FIGURE OUT. AND I DON'T KNOW WHY
i can't keep my eyes off of you.
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tag; ella
music; you and me - lifehouse
word count;824
credit; La-La-Lia from caution
notes; <33

Right now, the biggest problem in the hunting world seemed to be dealing with the vampires, and that was something that Ella could absolutely get behind. All she wanted was a world where vampires didn't exist; it had to be possible, she was sure of that, since at one point in the past, the vampires had made it so that werewolves were nearly wiped out entirely. She wanted them gone, the fanged, blood-sucking monsters, and the sooner the better, really; she didn't know if it was a part of her werewolf makeup that made her hate them so much, or because she'd been taught that vampires were not and would never be on their side, or because she wasn't a blind, naïve idiot, and could actually see how much harm they were doing compared to the amount of good...but whatever the reason was, Ella hated them. They made her skin crawl, and they were natural enemies, really. She didn't understand why more people didn't see the damage that the things were doing, now. Did they not see that people were dying, and more of them had blood loss as the COD? She saw too many people in the emergency room who'd been bitten, or hurt by a monster, and they were afraid to say anything, or they didn't want to implicate their vampire boyfriend, but that was exactly why humans shouldn't date things that were monsters, and only pretending to be people. She had to wonder about the human race, about how they had been so universally thick as to believe everything that they were being spun. Was the proof not in the death rates and the number of girls disappearing? They were the ones who were most at risk. If she was a mother with a teenage daughter, she'd been enforcing a curfew and a no boyfriends policy, without a doubt.

Ella had to admit that she was glad she didn't have children, right now. To be bringing them up without Luke would be hard, to start with, not being able to tell them where their daddy was, what had happened to him, why they didn't have one like other children did...Ella didn't think she could have done that. And in this world, as well, a world where vampires were everywhere and they just seemed to be getting more and more power, instead of being killed in the way that she wished they would be. It would be a dark place to raise a child, that was for sure, especially one who would run the risk of becoming a werewolf too, with both of its parents carrying the gene that could be triggered far more easily that it sounded. A part of her wished that she had a child, a part of Luke that could still be with her, but it wouldn't have been right. It wasn't the right time, now; once she found him again, once she had helped him recover and he felt like he was back in this world, then they could talk about it, but even if she found where he was tomorrow, Ella knew that children weren't going to be on the horizon for a year or two more. She was okay with that; she wasn't too old, yet, there was always adoption, if it came to it – being adopted had worked out very well for her, after all – and there were more important things. Making sure he was okay was what mattered most to her, in all honesty; there were days when she really didn't care about anything except finding her fiancé again. It was the only thing that mattered to her, and she dropped hints, to the hunters that she thought she could trust, but she couldn't outright ask for their help. Luke was a werewolf, they might try to kill him, and that wasn't an option. He wasn't going to die. She wasn't going to let him die.

People were dying all the time – she worked in a hospital, Ella saw it firsthand – but she always tried to do everything that she could to make sure that people didn't die on her watch. Sometimes it happened, and it was terribly sad, but there really wasn't anything that she could have done to stop it; death happened, and as much as doctors saved lives, they also saw them disappear right in front of their eyes, and there wasn't a thing on the world that would change that. It was how she'd triggered the werewolf gene, after all; she'd been responsible for a death even though she hadn't committed murder, and that had been all it had taken to change her life forever. She wouldn't go back, though; she knew too much now to want to give that up. She'd fallen in love; Ella wasn't going to give that up either. “They really should...I guess that nobody really knows enough, yet, not the ordinary people who didn't know about this 'til the announcement on TV,” she replied with a shrug; parents couldn't educate their children if they didn't know what was right and what wasn't, after all, it just couldn't work that way. It was different for her, she'd known about vampires for a while, but not everybody had. She nodded, and sighed. “I just worry so much. They're everywhere; what are they going to do next?”

WHAT DAY IS IT? AND IN WHAT MONTH? THIS CLOCK NEVER SEEMED SO ALIVE.
i can't keep up and i can't back down, i've been losing so much time.
ALL OF THE THINGS THAT I WANT TO SAY JUST AREN'T COMING OUT RIGHT. I'M TRIPPING ON WORDS.
you've got my head spinning. i don't know where to go from here.
• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

Dean never thought he would see the day when vampires were one of their biggest problems. It hadn’t even been a thought that crossed his mind before. Because, once upon a time, the only species of vampires he was even aware of wasn’t that prevalent anyway. They were rare and while he came across a vampire sporadically when he hunted, it wasn’t a huge problem. They weren’t a big deal until now. And God, he was sick of those sons of bitches. He would have given anything to find a way to kill all of them at once. If they could be wiped out all at once, he would no doubt go for it. But, that wasn’t going to happen. Vampires couldn’t all be killed at once. There wasn’t a species of monster that could be destroyed like that. You killed them one at a time or if you were lucky you might get a whole nest down, but that wasn’t going to wipe them out completely. There were always going to be more and to make matters worse, they could just make more as they killed them. There were probably always new vampires popping up and there was little that Dean could do to stop that. He could do his best at attempting to keep the population down and balanced but he wasn’t going to be able to eradicate vampires completely. No hunter would be able to do that. But, what he thought was possible was to try to turn humans against them. If they could cut their numbers down and keep balance then maybe eventually people would see the error in the way that they were thinking and there wouldn’t be any more trusting of those fanged creatures. And while it was a nice thought, he also wasn’t sure that it was going to happen.

People were too trusting. It seemed that even when the numbers said that vampires were killing humans, they didn’t listen. And there were enough cases out there to startle people. People were dying! And a lot of them were young girls. He didn’t know how someone could let that happen, how any parent wouldn’t want to guard their children from vampires. They were monsters! It made no sense to him to love a monster. There was no logic in it. These were creatures that wanted to drink their blood and had no qualms with killing them. As a hunter, it was natural for him to hate vampires. He was supposed to look at the world with a black and white edge. It helped him on the job. Without that outlook, it would have been a hell of a lot harder to get anything done. He didn’t need to be second guessing himself. With vampires, there wasn’t even anything to second guess about. They were creatures that were built to kill humans. It was just simple common sense that told him they were evil. It wasn’t like psychics and witches. Those could be normal, good people. Hell, they were still human at the end of the day. But, vampires weren’t. They were dead and their main source of food was blood. He didn’t know why they wanted to challenge nature. He didn’t know what it was like to be a vampire, but he doubted that they were really able to shield their impulses the way that they pretended to. It wasn’t going to last for long, that was for damn sure. Dean saw it deteriorating eventually, but hopefully not before it was too late and not before humanity suffered because of the naivety. They didn’t deserve that.

No one deserved it. People shouldn’t have to worry about being killed by vampires or any supernatural creature for that matter. And while there would always be creatures that could hurt them, they especially didn’t need to worry about a creature that was public and had influence. Society wasn’t supposed to embrace them. When Dean thought about a world where people knew the truth, he always imagined that they would go through a massive panic. This wasn’t what happened here, however. And he never thought he would see acceptance on this level. That was what baffled him the most. How anyone could think that vampires were good just went over his head. This wasn’t fiction. It was real and in reality, vampires were evil. “No one’s really doing a good job at getting the message out either. Vampires are running that show.” Where information was concerned and the ability to paint vampires in a certain light, it seemed that the monsters had the upper hand. “I wish I knew. More than just knowing it isn’t gonna be any good. I wanna do something about it, but all we can do is keep fighting ‘em.” To the vampires’ future plans, Dean felt helplessly in the dark.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
THERE'S SOMETHING ABOUT YOU I CAN'T QUITE FIGURE OUT. AND I DON'T KNOW WHY
i can't keep my eyes off of you.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

tag; ella
music; you and me - lifehouse
word count;810
credit; La-La-Lia from caution
notes; <33

Ella had never known a lot of vampires – she made a point to stay away from them, after all – but she had always known that they were evil, always known that there was a reason that they were the enemies of werewolves. She'd never killed one herself, although with them being everywhere she had wanted to on more than one occasion, but Ella still knew that a bite when she was a werewolf would prove fatal, which was something that was good to know, even if she never planned to be free on the full moon to be able to put that into practice. Knowing that they wouldn't want to be near her because of that, though, well, that was definitely a good thing, because she didn't want to be anywhere near the things. God, no. At least she could tell if somebody was a vampire; she wouldn't be taken in by their pretending to be human games, because she could smell one a mile off, and there was no way that they were going to be coming anywhere near her clinic. They probably wouldn't want to, because this place always had hunters in it, not to mention groups of werewolves on the days around the full moon, but Ella wouldn't hesitate to throw a vampire out if she smelled one. She wasn't afraid of them, she was just as strong, she was sure that she could match them strength for strength if it came to a fight – not that she wanted to reveal herself to the people who came here and needed to be able to trust her for her to be anything approaching a decent doctor – and there was no way that she was going to be helping them. Ella didn't believe that vampires could be good, and she wasn't going to be on their side, because she wasn't. This whole screwed up thing was just something that they were going to use to their advantage.

And they were planning something, Ella was convinced of that. She didn't know what, but she knew enough about vampires to know that they wouldn't do something this huge unless it was going to benefit them somehow. And yeah, she got that not every vampire had sanctioned this, or anything, that not all of them had wanted to go public but that it had probably only been a select few who'd made the decision—which, if anything, made things even more dangerous because they were the ones with power, they were the ones who were going to end up doing something awful, ultimately, not the ones who just wanted to live their un-lives and eat a lot of people. Not that Ella sanctioned that, not for a moment, but that was, at least, better than those that wanted to take over the world, or something. There was going to be something; these things didn't end up doing something like that just so that they could get to blood more easily. They could overpower people, they didn't need to do that, which meant that there was something going on that the general public didn't know about, and Ella would eat her hat if it wasn't something evil. She just hoped that the vampires coming out wasn't going to be the start of a trend; were-animals coming out could only lead to bad things for her and the people that she knew, because there'd probably be some law about them having to declare themselves or something, and she was pretty sure that the public would freak if they knew that there was even more to the world than they thought. They'd been remarkably calm about the vampire thing so far, but Ella was just waiting for there to be some kind of mass hysteria. Hopefully it wouldn't be because the vampires had killed everyone.

Although that was a distinct possibility, which was actually pretty damn worrying. Ella wasn't really a worrier by nature, but yeah, she had huge concerns about this whole thing, and the way that people had just accepted vampires into their lives like it was a normal thing to do. Normal, seriously? It wasn't every day that the majority of people found out that the monsters under their beds were real, but they ended up being okay with it? What kind of screwed up logic was that. Ella didn't even want to know, in all honesty. She didn't want to know why this had happened, or what the point of it was, even. She just wanted to make sure that people didn't get hurt, which was the opposite of what was actually happening at the moment; people were coming into the ER with loss of blood far more frequently than she ever remembered it being before, and that wasn't reassuring in the slightest. The things could claim that they weren't hurting people, that they were only drinking TruBlood, but it was a load of bull, because Ella saw the evidence that pointed otherwise. The authorities just seemed disinclined to listen – probably because they were already under the vampires' thumbs, and that wasn't something that she even wanted to think about, it was so horrifying. “I don't know how anyone can believe their lies,” she admitted, because she saw the stuff on TV and she just scoffed at how unlikely it all was. It was ridiculous! And yet people were lapping it up and becoming best friends with the thing that was ultimately going to turn around and kill them. How in the world was that okay? It wasn't. It couldn't be. She shook her head. “I don't think there's anything more you can do...I just wish that there was.”

WHAT DAY IS IT? AND IN WHAT MONTH? THIS CLOCK NEVER SEEMED SO ALIVE.
i can't keep up and i can't back down, i've been losing so much time.
ALL OF THE THINGS THAT I WANT TO SAY JUST AREN'T COMING OUT RIGHT. I'M TRIPPING ON WORDS.
you've got my head spinning. i don't know where to go from here.
• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

Even without knowing vampires existed, Dean thought that the connotation with vampires and evil was just a part of common sense. They were monsters that drank blood and that lurked in the shadows. They were supposed to be a little bit terrifying; it was why monster movies were built around them. Well, for the most part, had been built around them. There were those that painted them in a sympathetic light and while Dean had always scoffed at how unrealistic it was, he didn’t think much of it either. He just thought it was ridiculous and it didn’t matter anyway because people didn’t believe in them anyway. And of course no one was going to really trust a creature that drank blood. He was wrong though. They somehow found the ability to trust them and Dean wasn’t sure where they came about their logic. Vampires were predatory and evil, just through their nature. And while Dean had met a nest of vampires that he considered good and unthreatening, he thought it was a huge minority. The majority of vampires were killers. Most didn’t survive off of animals or Trublood. He knew that he was supposed to buy into the synthetic blood, but he didn’t. He thought that it was nothing more than a cover and the odds were that they were still drinking from humans all the damn time. Hell, the morgue count was speaking for itself, he thought. And maybe there were a few that tried to abide by synthetic blood, but he didn’t think it would last for long. Eventually, the control would break and it was humanity that was going to suffer because of it. There was every reason to continue hunting them and to build up a hatred for vampires. In the past, he cared little about them. There was nothing personal and even now, he didn’t have a personal vendetta against them. But, he definitely had a stronger kill drive than he ever had before when it came down to them.

He didn’t think anyone could blame him for it either. He was a hunter. His job was to protect people from the supernatural and that included vampires. They might have been illegal to kill, but it wasn’t going to stop him. That law turned out to be the most ridiculous one that he’d heard of. And while Dean broke the law regularly as a hunter, just to do his job, he wasn’t the type of person that went out of his way to do it. He wasn’t out there having a good time, ignoring laws and pretending that the law didn’t matter. It did matter. And while he had to break it to do his job, that law was the only one that he’d be more than happy to break. It was one of those laws that he didn’t see the point of. They should be able to kill vampires, because there was no doubt that they were still killing humans. It didn’t matter what rules they tried to inflict on vampires. They weren’t human, they weren’t going to follow them—at least not forever. If anything, he thought that they would pretend and then use all that trust against them when it was over. They’d have a lot to their advantage then. And people wouldn’t have seen it coming, because they were too busy sympathizing and defending them. It didn’t make a lot of sense to Dean, because he couldn’t understand why there was anything sympathetic about an undead creature that drank blood. It just felt like common sense would tell anyone that that description meant they should stay the hell away.

His version of common sense and the majority of people didn’t seem to click, however. This wasn’t how he ever expected it to work out. If monsters ever came out in the open, he expected more panic. He thought that he would see hysteria before he saw something calm. This wasn’t some little thing. Monsters being real was huge and even Dean wasn’t okay with monsters existing. He was a hunter and he knew the supernatural would always be there, but he remembered finding out the truth and he knew what it was like now to know and none of it was just okay. It wasn’t all right to have a creature that was built to kill humans to survive. These weren’t things that he could just shrug off and go about his life with. And he honestly didn’t see how anyone else could either. Especially when a lot of people didn’t have the means to defend themselves anyway. “Maybe because it’s harder to believe the truth,” Dean offered, not sure himself. It was harder to swallow that there were monsters that wanted to kill them than it was to believe in something misunderstood and different. Still, it wasn’t right and it made little sense. “I think we all wish that.”

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
THERE'S SOMETHING ABOUT YOU I CAN'T QUITE FIGURE OUT. AND I DON'T KNOW WHY
i can't keep my eyes off of you.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

tag; ella
music; you and me - lifehouse
word count;822
credit; La-La-Lia from caution
notes; <33

Ella liked to think that if she had been just another average person, when vampires had made themselves public, she wouldn't have been quick to judge them; it was hard to know what she would have thought, to be honest. It was hard to remember her life before she'd become a werewolf and been thrust into this world, and it might only have been five years (and she said 'only', but that was a hell of a lot of transformations to go through, when she had to cope with having her bones broken every single month without fail) but it seemed like it had been a lifetime. She'd become a wolf, she'd fallen in love, she'd learned to manage her condition, learned about what else was out there, opened a clinic for those who helped keep the world safe...lost her fiancé. It had been a very long five years, and Ella knew that there was no going back. She didn't want to. She didn't want to stop being a werewolf, because yeah, it was absolutely a curse, she wasn't going to deny that, but there was always the part of her that knew she would never have met Luke without it, and she was happy to be in pain every month if she had him. And she would have him again; she might not now, but Ella would find out what had happened to him. She wasn't going to move on, and her life was always going to be kind of on hold, until she had some definitive answer one way or another about his fate, but she really didn't give a crap about that. She loved him, she had never stopped loving him, and she would keep waiting, keep working and looking, until she found him. That was all there was to it. He was still alive, Ella was certain of that.

She had people to help, she'd called people she knew in different parts of the country, she'd established connections to other packs, she'd talked to the hunters she knew could be trusted not to kill him just because he was a werewolf, but so far, nothing. It was disheartening, of course it was, but there was no way in hell that Ella was going to give up. She'd find him, she was certain of that, and until then she'd wear his ring on a chain around her neck, she'd keep him in her heart, and it sounded like a plot from one of those too cheesy romantic movies, but Ella was certain that he would come back, she'd nurse him back to health, and they'd be able to start their life together again. It wasn't quite the world that it had been when he'd disappeared, vampires hadn't been out them – and she wondered what he would think of that, how desperate he would be to kill all of them – she wasn't the same person either, because she was quieter, more worried, holding in her emotions all the time so that she could smile and go about her life without anybody being any the wiser, but they could do it, Ella knew that they could. She wasn't worried about things being different between them; it was one of the few things she wasn't worried about, as long as he hadn't been so tortured that he didn't even remember who she was. Ella couldn't consider the possibility of amnesia, she was pretty sure that it would break her heart if that was the case, if that really happened. She had to keep positive, and of course it was hard, especially when the world seemed to be as screwed up as it was, but Ella could hope. Hope and faith were pretty much the only things she had left, and she had faith in Luke just as much as she had faith in God. More so, even. He was the strongest person she knew; he would get through this. She knew that he would.

He had to, more to the point. She couldn't deal with the idea that he was dead, or so broken he would never be the same again. She'd look after him, if that was the case, she was always going to be there for him, but Ella just wanted to be able to pick up their life from where they'd left off...she just knew that it wasn't going to be the case. It couldn't be, not after all this time, but she still loved him, and she just couldn't wait for the day that she saw him again. It would happen, she had to believe that, and in the meantime, Ella kept herself busy, she kept working, she made sure that she was rarely alone, because if she was alone, then she got the chance to think, to get sad, and she didn't want that. She had her time in her apartment by herself, curled up on the couch or staring at the walls in the spare room that documented her search for him – something she could shut the door on if she had someone round, and she kept it locked so that nobody knew what was in there – and the majority of the rest of her time was either spent at the hospital, or here. Helping people was a good distraction. Making them better was good; Ella was glad that she could do that, at least. Help hunters, so that they could go out and kill more vampires...it could have been worse, even if it was bad enough that the vampires were there at all. “I guess so, but I worry. They're going to end up hurt,” she replied; she couldn't stop people from getting close to vampires, but God, Ella wished that she could do something about it, so that there were a few less people in the ER with blood loss—or the mortuary. She sighed, her fingers automatically coming up to her necklace, clasping around the ring, running it along the chain. “I don't understand this at all.”

WHAT DAY IS IT? AND IN WHAT MONTH? THIS CLOCK NEVER SEEMED SO ALIVE.
i can't keep up and i can't back down, i've been losing so much time.
ALL OF THE THINGS THAT I WANT TO SAY JUST AREN'T COMING OUT RIGHT. I'M TRIPPING ON WORDS.
you've got my head spinning. i don't know where to go from here.
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Dean didn’t want to think that he was naïve or that he could have ever lived in any alternative where he trusted vampires. He couldn’t grasp the idea that he should have been open to monsters. There was nothing close-minded about not trusting a supernatural monster. It was smart. People died because of their trust and Dean didn’t think differently for half of a second. Sure, they killed unsuspecting victims and there were people that would be killed whether or not they trusted a vampire, but those that did put themselves in even more danger. Dean thought it was simple common sense that told people to run from monsters. And if there was a creature that drank blood and killed humans, wasn’t that enough to run from it? He couldn’t understand the trust. It was something that really perplexed him and he didn’t know if it would be easier to understand if he wasn’t a hunter. He admitted that he had a strong bias because of who he was. He had spent his entire life fighting monsters. He knew the difference between good and evil and he had been face to face with what vampires could do more than enough times to have a solid opinion. Normal people didn’t know about all of that. They hadn’t been fighting monsters their whole lives. Instead, they were innocent and unknowing and somehow thought it was okay to trust vampires of all things. He didn’t know if it was good publicity or crappy books modeled for teenage girls, but whatever it was, it was more destructive than helpful. People would die because they essentially didn’t know any better. Dean would do whatever he could to save them, even if he didn’t agree with how they managed to squeeze themselves into that position. He didn’t have to agree with what they thought were good creatures to help them.

He wasn’t about to put his opinion of them on the balance when it came to deciding who he saved and who he didn’t. He didn’t even have a scale for that. If they were human, he would do whatever he could to help them. He didn’t think about whether or not they had gotten themselves in that situation, because it didn’t matter. Human life wasn’t there to be tossed away like nothing. People were worth a hell of a lot more than that. Every life mattered. And Dean might not have been religious or sappy to the point of talking about how sacred life was, but it really was. Every life mattered. It might not be personal for him. He might not know the person and their life might not impact his at all, but that didn’t mean they deserved to die. It also didn’t mean that he was in the position to make that decision. His job was to save people, not to decide whether or not someone needed it. He didn’t want to play God; not with humans. And Dean thought that he had the strength to keep fighting, regardless of what curveballs came next. He had to stay strong, for the sake of what he did and hopefully for the sake of the people he was determined to save. Dean didn’t look at vampires coming out and hope that they were telling the truth. No, he automatically assumed they weren’t and wanted to do whatever he could to make sure that they didn’t use trust to their advantage further. Power like that was dangerous, even in human hands. It had to be even worse in creatures that would have no problem killing humans for food. It was what they were, wasn’t it? Food.

These weren’t werewolves or witches. They were vampires, for crying out loud. At least with witches and psychics, they were still human. Though, most witches he had met were, in fact, evil of origin, psychics weren’t. And werewolves were on a line where he knew them to be human and to be good, but at the same time, if they weren’t under control, he didn’t have a lot of choices. That was harder. And Dean wouldn’t say that it wasn’t. They had lost someone who he would have never claimed deserved to die because of what she was and Dean didn’t forget that. He didn’t forget the massive grey area when dealing with werewolves. As awesome as it was to hunt down a truly evil creature that was animalistic and ferocious, it wasn’t fun if you knew someone innocent was in there. There was nothing good about it. And Dean didn’t want to hurt innocent people. He spent his life trying to help people, not hurt them. And with werewolves, it really did bring up an area that he hated to step in. “You’re not alone there. I worry too. I just can’t change it.” He couldn’t alter how people perceived vampires or the truth. “People are just full of surprises, huh?” It was said almost as a joke, but an entirely sad one, with little humor. This wasn’t a good surprise. The human reaction to vampires was dangerous.

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THERE'S SOMETHING ABOUT YOU I CAN'T QUITE FIGURE OUT. AND I DON'T KNOW WHY
i can't keep my eyes off of you.
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tag; ella
music; you and me - lifehouse
word count;852
credit; La-La-Lia from caution
notes; <33