How To Be Eaten By A Woman, Tag;;Iofiel!

[Castiel]

Pushing his feet into worn brown loafers Jimmy Novak ran a hand through his still damp hair, the power went out last night causing his alarm to fail from waking him. At first when he woke up a small quiver of panic shot through him, he was late for work and he rushed around the small apartment trying to get ready for his day. After a hurried shower he padded across the small living area to the phone beside the couch and called his boss.

The sinking pit in his stomach seemed to grow as the phone rang on and on, but he had no reason to be nervous. He hadn’t missed a day in two years.

But, things had been rough lately and he suddenly didn’t know what to expect from life. He’d missed the last two Sunday and mid-week services at his Church, it wasn’t that he was running out of faith, he just had so many unanswered questions. Blind faith was a long, twisted road after all.

After the breakup between he and his girlfriend of three years, Penelope, Jimmy began to doubt a lot of things in his life.

Sighing into the receiver of the phone at the continuous ring he placed it back in its cradle and finished dressing. After some brief debate with himself he decided that today he was going to place the worry aside. If the phone was ringing incessantly, his boss wasn’t too worried about his whereabouts.

Grabbing his grey jacket he made his way out the door, checking his mail in the lobby before exiting the building. Newspaper and bills in hand he walked across town to The Dockside Diner, a place he had frequented most of his life and took up his usual window seat in the corner.

Opening the newspaper he decided it was time for change and quickly flipped to the Help Wanted ads. ”Damn.” He patted himself down, ”No pen as usual.” Resting his chin on his hand he noted the ‘HELP WANTED’ sign in the window with a faint smile. The diner wasn’t enough to pay the bills, but it would be a start if the paper yielded nothing of use.

Looking back to the newspaper he scanned the page, noting the obvious marketing scams and couldn’t help but chuckle. Advertising.

Jimmy was creative, imaginative, heck, he could’ve probably come up with better ads than most seasoned Marketing Executives. If he could pick up a side job, like the diner or maybe the gas station, he would be able to finally afford the courses he would need to take to pursue a career in advertising.

The bell on the door sounded, signaling the entry of another customer and he looked up, just in time to spot a waitress coming to serve him. He offered her a warm smile, he hadn’t seen her here before and if she was new –especially to the mid morning shift- she was probably quite frazzled. Some of the regulars that had been coming here their entire lives could be rude and demanding. Jimmy shied away from their behavior however and decided to beat her to the punch. She had to be tired of the schpeel by now ’Hello I’m soandso and I’ll be blah blah blah.’, so he offered a greeting first.

”Hello, Miss, my name is James Novak. How are you today?” He was sure she would be at the very least slightly caught off guard. But, then again, he had been wrong before.

[Iofiel]

Every day was the same old routine that Piper had been used to for the past five years of her life; however, she’d managed to get out of one dead end job and straight into another. And when she’d got to this job she’d snatched the night shifts which had done no good for her body, after many little ‘chats’ with her boss however, he slipped her in for the morning shift on this particular day.

She slipped on her waitress uniform, her small little white pumps and roughly put her hair up into a bun, bothering with little to no makeup. She wasn’t at work to pull people, and after her last boyfriend, she wasn’t really looking for anyone. He’d been a big great slob and the bane of her life; she should have been somewhat thankful that he’d gone, but she was now alone to pay the bills and the rent. Things like that were hard to do from tips and a waitress’s wage.

She caught the bus downtown, ignoring the snoring from the man sat across the way from her, and the loud music from the teenager at the back of the bus, she even ignored the cries of that baby when they’d stopped to pick up another passenger. What did she care? She’d be getting off in another couple of stops and then nothing would matter. She wasn’t particularly interested in any of them; she just wanted to go to work, get paid, and go home again.

She walked through the door of the diner, a fake smile plastered across her face as she slipped behind the counter to collect her apron, notepad and pen. Her colleague was whining about how some guy had hit on her in the bar last night and the cook was too busy eating breakfast in the kitchen. She rolled her eyes when her manager walked in late and tried to ignore the fact that he’d pressed himself up against her like he always did, making out the gap was too small between her and the counter.

It had been that reason and that reason alone that she’d been unable to greet the man that had walked in in the first place. Yet, it gave her time to make up a fresh batch of coffee and grab a cup to take over to him when she had finally made her way over there. She wore bright smile on her face as she got closer to him, not quite paying attention to the details of his face at first, that was until he caught her off guard and spoke to her first.

She stood there for a few moments, her mouth open slightly and her brow furrowed in thought as she was still trying to register what he’d just said to her, and with a genuine smile, she actually found her voice to answer him. “Pleasure! I’m Piper.” Her lips curled softly as she set the cup down on the table. “I’m fine thank you! I brought you some coffee; you look like you could do with a cup.” She chuckled gently, pouring him out a generous helping of coffee from the jar. “And how are you Mr Novak?”

Now that she actually took the time to look at him, he had very welcoming features, with warm blue eyes. It wasn’t something she often saw in customers and she found herself staring. She knew she was being rude but she couldn’t tear her eyes away from his, even if she wanted to, but she managed to compose herself enough to get a few more words out. “Will you be wanting a breakfast?” Will you be wanting a breakfast? Seriously? That’s the best you could come up with?

[Castiel]

”Hello Piper,” His gaze moved to the counter momentarily, catching the devious looks the daytime manager was sending her way, ”Don’t let Jerry bother you.” Jimmy slid his cup closer to her as she offered, ”He’s just trying to get over the fact that his wife left him six months ago.” As a Christian he always tried to see the good in people, but Jerry, he decided a few months ago, was and always would be a lost cause.

”Oh, I’m fine, thanks.” Grasping the metal cream container he poured a small amount into his cup, ”Playing hookie,” It was a fib, but nothing that was condemnable, ”to look at the complete lack of serviceable jobs around here.” He gestured to the newspaper in front of him before moving it aside to make room for his mug.

”Yeah, I’ll have two eggs sunny side and some toast if you wouldn’t mind.” He didn’t bother asking for butter, the waitresses usually just brought it out on the side in tiny prepackaged single serve tubs. Single serve tubs for a single serve guy. He sighed lightly, the breakup had been messy and taking extra hours at the plant left him plenty of time to think on it. He worked alone, with ear plugs and a dust mask, on a large fabricating machine. Plenty of alone time at work and home to torture himself over it.

Using the teaspoon to stir his coffee he brought it to his lips taking a small sip and offered her another smile, her day had to have been rough for her to hang around longer than needed at his table. But he didn’t mind, it gave him someone to talk to –however briefly- and some appeasing scenery. He waited for her to turn to leave before adding, ”And Piper?” He picked up his paper, trying to look like he couldn’t care less about the situation, ”Thanks for the coffee.”

[Iofiel]

She nodded at him, somewhat thankful that Jerry was nothing like the later shift manager, who was definitely a lot more hands on than she would like. She didn’t have to see him anymore and that’s what counted. She fished a spare pen out of her apron and placed it down on top of the newspaper he’d been holding, smirking at him as she had noticed there wasn’t one on the table when she’d come across. “I’m sure you’ll find something.” She nodded affirmatively before getting out her own pen and pad as she noted down what he was having for breakfast.

She turned lightly on her heel and made to get away from him but he spoke again, causing her to turn lightly with an inquisitive look on her face before she scoffed. “No problem.” She ripped off the top ticket of her pad and kept walking to the counter, slipping the receipt onto the top for the kitchen, calling in after the cook who gave her a grunt, but she tried to ignore him, her “shut up and do your job” look etched on her face causing him to get straight to work with the eggs.

Jerry slipped up next to her, his arms folded as he leant against the counter, getting up in her personal space. “Gina’s called in sick. You’re going to have to cover her shift after yours.” Piper looked over at him with a frown on her face, shaking her head lightly. “Can’t Maddie do it?” Jerry tutted at her, before essentially giving her a no as he walked away from her again. A light and defeated groan escaped her mouth, her body slumping against the counter as she waited for Jimmy’s food to come through from the kitchen.

“Order up!” She heard called from the back, turning to grab the plate from the shelf before chucking a couple of butter tubs on the side and picking up some cutlery as she swung round the counter. Her feigned smile returned as she approached his table, placing the plate gently in front of him and the cutlery just to the side of it. “Two eggs sunny side and toast. Enjoy.” She sighed heavily as she turned away from him again, heading slowly back over to the counter, Jerry watching her from across the room. She didn’t want to have to work the later shift, not with Pete anyway.

[Castiel]

”I envy your confidence.” As she placed the pen in front of him he couldn’t help but smile in thanks. When she turned back to look he couldn’t help but give her a friendly wink. Good Lord, he didn’t know what was coming over him, the sudden confidence and winking at women he had just barely met. On a normal day he would have never even thought about winking at a stranger, but today it seemed to just come naturally. But the scary part was he didn’t feel bad about it, no remorse, no slight ’Oh shit, why did I do that?’, something about it felt as though he was supposed to be behaving badly today. Confession in a few weeks would be a hoot.

There had always been something about waiting for food, no matter how quick or slow it was delivered, that made him impatient. Looking around the room he noted some of the customers began filing out, leaving meager excuses for tips behind. His brow furrowed, ”Is this lady serious?” He said it to himself mostly as he watched the older woman count out change to leave behind as a tip. Jimmy understood that a waitress’ well being depended on the tips she was able to collect during her shift. Shaking his head he returned to the newspaper, bouncing his legs slightly as he waited.

He wasn’t trying to eavesdrop and he’d never been much of a gossiper, but Piper and Jerry’s conversation drifted over to him. With both brows raised he nodded slightly to himself, forming a plan to make some quick cash.

The words on the paper seemed to blur together and he picked up the pen she had left for him, twirling it between his fingers and trying to nonchalantly follow her form around the diner with his peripherals. Before he could think on it much longer she rounded the corner and he averted his gaze as if he hadn’t been looking. The plate was placed in front of him and he just realized how hungry he actually was. He could feel the deep rumble from within, calling out for sustenance. ”Thanks.” He looked up at her, smiling again before she turned heel and resumed her post at the counter.

Jimmy picked up his knife, about to butter his toast before it became cold but stopped himself after opening the butter packet. Placing the butter on his dish he took it up in one hand, coffee in the other, and sat in the swivel stool across from Piper at the counter. Since you have given me such impeccable service thus far, I found myself wondering what I could possibly do for you. A woman I’ve just met in a diner and am trying desperately not to chat up nor sound like a creepy stalker to.” Focusing on the task of unfolding his napkin he placed it on his knee –he had a terrible habit of wiping his fingers there without even realizing it. ”And the only thing I came up with was becoming a human shield.”

”He makes all the girls uncomfortable, I can only imagine what the night time manager is like. I’ve heard rumors.” Picking up the butter and knife he began to place it on his toast. ”I also see your Diner is in need of help.” Jimmy faintly remembered leaving the newspaper behind, but it would seem he might not need it anyways. ”What are the chances of training for the job after a few more cups of coffee?” He gave her a hopeful look, he knew he probably sounded bat shit insane right now –rambling on and on like a moron- and hoped he hadn’t scared her away. He wasn’t looking for a replacement for Penelope, not so soon anyways, but something about this one in particular drew him in.

[Iofiel]

“A little bit of optimism and you can’t go wrong.” She beamed down at him; optimism was something that generally came very easy to her, unless of course someone really dragged her down like her managers but she tried her best to shrug those sort of things off, after all, she wasn’t really there to be treated as a slave. She was there to earn some extra cash to pay the bills and her rent on time. Waitressing wasn’t exactly the best job in the world and she had kept looking for something a little more well paid.

She wandered over to another table when she’d seen the customer leave, picking up the small amount of change that had been left for her with a light sigh, slipping it into a pocket. She always put down her lack of tips due to people being strapped for cash or her not doing a good enough job for them, but she couldn’t really be blamed if all she was paid to do was wander over occasionally and check that everything was okay, take some orders and then go back behind the counter again where Jerry or Pete could stand and ogle her.

When she’d gotten back to the counter however, she found herself being followed by Jimmy and couldn’t help but smile as he now sat at the bar. She was taken aback by his words and looked over to Jerry who was at the other end making himself a smoothie or sorts before looking back again. “And how do you propose we do that?” She chirped, smiling and grabbing herself a cup to make herself a cup of coffee. Milk and two sugars; that’s how she always liked it, but if she was going to get really technical, she preferred Frappuccino’s.

“You mean Pete?” She chuckled nervously, leaning over the counter close to his face as she whispered. “Between you and me, he’s worse than Jerry. Jerry at least tries to subtly do it. Pete has a tendency to not care.” She looked over at Jerry who was now looking at them both, frowning with curiosity, and she just threw him one of her gentle smiles, sending him back to doing whatever he was doing. She tapped her fingers lightly on the back counter, before looking back at the cook. “Hey could I get some bacon and eggs, please?” She asked him politely, fluttering her eyelashes at him before watching him grumble and set to work on some breakfast for her. She hadn’t eaten at home.

She paused for a moment at his next question, not quite sure how to answer it, which made her find herself walking over to Jimmy and muttering to him a bit, her eyes on Jimmy the entire time. After what seemed like a long debate, she quickly walked back past him and disappeared into the back room. She grabbed an apron from the cupboard in Jerry’s office and came back out, bouncing on the heels of her feet and placing it on the countertop next to Jimmy. “When you’ve finished your breakfast I’ll show you the ropes!”

She waited for him to finish and put it on before she started talking to him. “All tips for tables you work are yours outright. None of this ‘put it in a jar and split it between waitresses.” She pointed out before pointing at the register. “This is pretty easy to work. Touch screen, it shows everything we have on the menu on here, separates it all into breakfast, lunch and evening meals.” She sighed, clicking a few buttons for her own meal that she’d ordered and was now sat in the little chef window. “You have your pad and pen. There’s two sheets. The top you give to the chef through this window, the bottom you put in the till when they’ve paid…. That’s about all there is too it, assuming you can work a blender for smoothies and a coffee machine.” She chuckled lightly, taking her food out of the window and placing it on the back counter, ducking down for a moment to a box underneath that held bread cakes. She slipped her bacon and eggs inside, slicing the bun in half before finally tucking into some breakfast.

[Castiel]

Jimmy watched her with a curious eye, dipping a corner of his toast into the yolky center of his eggs. Biting into it he couldn’t help but smile, it was a sort of comfort food for him. As a child his mother would fix him eggs, toast and cheese grits on a near daily basis. Since her passing he tended to find comfort in the simple breakfast staples. Although he hadn’t indulged in a helping of cheese grits in a long time, they were delicious and comforting but they did not fit the health conscious lifestyle he had adopted.

At the mention of the night time managers name he nodded, choosing not to speak with his mouth full. Taking a sip of coffee to wash down the last bits of toast he began pushing the second piece around his plate, moving all the bits of egg to one side. His mother was never really a stickler when it came to the ’Don’t play with your food, eat it’ debacle, so long as he was eating it she seemed to be satisfied. Now as an adult he did it almost absent mindedly.

As she leaned in he couldn’t help but let his eyes wander the feminine contours of her face. There was something very ethereal, almost Angelic about her. ”I’ve had the pleasure of meeting Pete a few times, mostly up at the Tavern. But, due to my stunning lack of female features I’ve never seen him in action.” Grasping a napkin from the dispenser the wiped at the corners of his mouth, folding his arms in front of him. ”But, I can let you in on some information.” He leaned in a bit closer, as if he were to tell her an Earth shattering secret, when in reality he was just being a goof. ”He’s terrible at pool.” He smirked widely, twining his feet in the foot rest of the stool.
Jimmy watched her walk away, keeping an eye on the interaction with Jerry. He never knew what possessed a man to be such a chauvinist, groping on a woman with greasy sausage fingers because why? They didn’t have the courage to speak their mind to the opposite sex? Or maybe it was the whole idea of putting themselves on the line for heartbreak. Perhaps a restraining order was easier to swallow. Taking up his fork he slowed his eating, waiting for Piper to return with her own food.

When the apron was placed beside him he looked it over, there was no way he was going to wear a full bodied apron. Dropping his fork on the plate he grasped the fabric, folding it so he could tie it at the waist. ”Jerry didn’t give you any trouble, did he?” She appeared to be slightly flustered, which was slightly less flustered than the first time he had laid eyes on her. Tying a tight bow in the back he rose from his seat, slipping behind the counter and poured himself another cup. Placing it down he grasped his plate, scraping the scraps into the trash and placing it into the wash bin.

Shoving a hand into the pocket of his apron he pulled out a small cloth hat they issued for the men and placed it on his head. ”How do I look?” He put on his best goofy modeling face and struck a pose. Before she could answer he heard Jerry’s aggravated ”Ah-HEM’ from the other side of the diner, which caused him to giggle slightly. ”Right, so, I’ve got my pad,” He tucked it into the apron pocket, ”And your pen,” He also placed it in the pocket, ”And I know the menu like the back of my hand.” Glancing at the register he knew he would have no problems with it, operating a gigantic fabricating machine for the past two years pretty much assured that fact. Being a slight health nut he owned and operated a blender frequently, coffee was a part of his daily routine. ”It’s all in the bag, doll.” Folding his arms across his chest he looked around to the two couples left in the diner.

Leaning to the side a bit closer to Piper so as to be within whispering distance, ”That couple there,” He gestured with a nod of his head, ”the female is not so female.” He let it sink in for a moment, ”But the other couple, just about as sweet as they come.” He wasn’t trying to be a gossip, it was just easier to serve someone when you had a little background information on them. With a smile he shoved off the counter to take the few empty plates from the tables.

He was ignored by couple number one, they had kept to themselves after Lena’s sexual reassignment surgery. Maybe they thought he would berate them, or look down upon them as the other members of the Church did. Couple number two however gave him a warm welcome, he had known them since he was a kid and was still fascinated to this day by their seemingly undying love for each other. He struck up a quick conversation before politely excusing himself at the death glare from Jerry.

Fixing Jerry with a ’I don’t give a fuck’ look he set the plates on the counter top, making his way to the table. Placing both of his palms on the table top he leaned in with a smile that would borderline into mental patient territory. ”Something I can help you with Jerry?”

The slightly older, much rounder man seemed taken aback and shook his head in the negative, perhaps it had something to do with the way Jimmy had treated him when they were younger. They grew up together, attended the same school together and Jerry was just as overweight now as he had been back then. Jimmy was part of the more popular, socially acceptable clique and Jerry was, of course, one of the misfits. They had been so mean to the outcasts, but they were just children behaving badly. These days Jimmy wouldn’t dare stuff Jerry into a locker and that wasn’t just because he wouldn’t fit. After High School he had turned a new leaf, became more devout to his faith, especially after Fran, his mother passed away.

Sliding his hands from the table top with an audible squeal of flesh he returned to the dishes, bringing the stack behind the counter and set about washing them. ”I don’t agree with splitting tips either,” It was a conversation from earlier, but now was just a good a time as any, ”But those two tables are all yours.” Running the hot tap he filled the wash sink, watching the cleaning solution dispense automatically was almost mesmerizing, the bubbles slowly taking over until the water could no longer be seen. Careful not to burn his hands he slid the plates in one at a time, leaving the silverware for last. ”I worked here a few summers when I was a kid, but I’m glad Pete has my old job. Smelling like a fried hamburger that’s been in the sun is so unappealing.”

[Iofiel]

“You gonna be okay to do a night shift with me?” She smiled gently at him, ripping up a bit of her sandwich and munching on it, leaning on the bar with a wide smile on her face, batting her eyelashes like she had done when she had ordered herself some breakfast. “That’s when I could REALLY use a hand.” She took another chunk out of her sandwich, pausing for a moment before eating it, knowing full well that Jerry was keeping an eye on them both. “Night shift brings in all kinds of customers. Sometimes you just need the extra pair of hands to make it run a bit smoother.” She grumbled, looking over at Jerry who just rolled his eyes at her, picking up one of the papers and pretending to read it while drawing all his attention to their conversation.


Finishing off her sandwich, she quietly sipped at her coffee, not quite sure of what to say to Jimmy. All points considering; he had suddenly chosen to concentrate on his food, and she couldn’t blame him. Cold toast wasn’t exactly the bees knees for breakfast, so she left him to it, wiping the counter top at the other end of the bar to give him some peace, working her way back down to where he and his plate were sat.

She listened to what he was saying, and chuckled, turning her tone of voice down to a whisper. “I’ll have to remember that next time I need the extra cash… also? I think you look just fine without your female features.” She smiled softly at him as cleaned the corner of his lips, and then chuckled lightly at the smirk on his face. The information he’d given her had indeed been useful but at the same time it was amusing, and that she couldn’t help laughing. It wasn’t very often a complete stranger walked in and made her genuinely laugh, but Jimmy had managed it somehow.

Piper would admit, Jerry had always been a pain to her, making her do the extra shifts. It was as if he hated her, or didn’t listen to the girls stories about Peter. Maybe he was trying to teach her a lesson, but she wasn’t quite sure. Either way it hacked her off beyond anything she imagined it would, and she was so close to quitting the job she could almost feel the dollars flying out of her pocket. She had to find a new job at some point, but nobody really would take her on… unless of course she went for that strip club downtown, but she didn’t like that idea either.


She shook her head at his question and smiled gently at him. “I just explained that we needed the extra help and he took it.” She watched him tie up his apron and slip behind the counter with her, standing next to her when he poured himself another cup of coffee and she couldn’t help but lightly hip bump him and laugh. Watching as he cleaned up his own plate and such. “You know. I should have really done that. You were my customer five minutes ago.”


She was about to answer when Jerry finally coughed at them both. Piper rolled her eyes turning towards Jerry and giving him a “bitch I don’t care” look, before shaking her head and turning back round. “Ignore him.” She grabbed the apron and tugged it a little, straightening it out before patting it down, making sure that it was clean before smiling and nodding in approval. “Stunning.” She chuckled and watched him tucking his bits and pieces into his pocket, quite impressed that he knew the menu, because after all the years she’d worked here, not even she knew the menu quite as well as she’d like. “This weeks special is pig ‘n’ a poke or at least, is for the breakfast run. I don’t know what the lunch special is.” She muttered and chuckled when he called her doll. She licked her lips lightly and jokingly answered. “I didn’t know you were aiming for first base.” She eyed the other two couples in the diner, hoping they’d be leaving soon as well, just because then she could have time to count out her tips for the morning.


She looked over to the couple he was talking about and her eyes widened slightly as she listened. “Really? I would have never have guessed…” Her attention turned to the other couple, hoping somehow that that was the couple to aim for if she wanted a slightly higher than average tip. She watched him leave the counter and couldn’t help but watch him clearing away the tables… and as her eyes wandered down, Jerry wandered past and hit her on the head with the newspaper he was holding, mouthing the words ‘less of that’ before disappearing into the back. With a defeated smile she turned, resting her back on the counter, noticing the clock was a great deal behind. She hopped up on the back counter and took it down, twiddling with the dials until it was the right time and then put it back. She didn’t however expect to be unable to get back down. She didn’t want to jump and look like an idiot, and there wasn’t really enough room on the counter for her to sit down and slip off.

She watched him as he dealt with the couples, Jerry slipping by and not bothering to help her back down, a smug look on his face as he did so. She probably shouldn’t have worn the dress today, and she turned to look at the cook in the kitchen who just shrugged and went back to cooking what she could only imagine was Jerry’s breakfast. It sure smelt fatty enough to be Jerry’s breakfast and she sighed in defeat.


Jerry ignored Jimmy and went back to his paper, and Piper sighed. It was so typical of Jerry; if it didn’t have boobs, he didn’t argue back. But if it HAD boobs, well, that meant that woman couldn’t hold her own and that would be the end of it. Jerry’s word was final on everything, and she couldn’t help but hate that.


“That’s good then…” She looked over at the two tables and set about collecting the tips. Despite what she said earlier about not sharing tips, she split them both, wandering back to Jimmy and sidling up beside him, hoping by some sheer luck she could slip half this tip into his pocket without him noticing. “So Jimmy… what brought you round to wanting to work in a place like this?” She asked quite boldly, her hand slipping under his arm and dropping half of the tip into his pocket, slipping the other half into her pocket and folding her arms as she spoke to him. “That’s why I don’t work in the kitchen. I don’t LIKE the smell of fried stuff, but I need the money…” She muttered, taking the clean plates and drying them, stacking them up for the cook to take back through the window.