Title: I Can Take The Sky From You
Blades Bill - September 8, 2011 02:22 AM (GMT)
It wasn't in the pantry.
It wasn't in the fridge.
It wasn't anywhere near the bar.
It wasn't anywhere to be found.
"Blades" Bill O'Dell, sky pirate, cook, and all around decent guy, was searching the Marie Antoinette for his bottle of Mount Gay 1703, a delicious, hard to find, and above all, EXPENSIVE bottle of rum that he'd been saving for a rainy day.
They'd just gotten a good haul of computer parts. It was good enough for him.
Searching the ship, he came upon his captain, Flynn Blake (he guessed... it sounded fake, but as long as the money kept coming in, he didn't give a care if he called himself Malcolm Reynolds) and immediately asked, regardless of what surrounded him, "Hey, boss. Seen m'rum?"
Flynn Blake - September 8, 2011 02:44 AM (GMT)
The bottle was in Flynn's hand. His feet were on his desk and he was leaning back in his chair. He had a sombrero pulled down over his face.
"Nope." He said calmly and took a long drink from the bottle.
Blades Bill - September 8, 2011 02:48 AM (GMT)
"Hey-!" Bill began, shocked. He stared at the perfidy in front of his eyes. You simply did NOT drink 1703 from the BOTTLE. It wasn't RIGHT. You put it in a tumbler, with ice, or in a shot glass for sipping, like you had a bit of CIVILIZATION in you! You didn't guzzle it like cut-rate gut rot! This was SIN!
"What are ya doing, ya crazy bast'rd?" he asked in disbelief.
Flynn Blake - September 8, 2011 02:51 AM (GMT)
Flynn tipped up his sombrero. "Drinkin' m'rum! Wassit look like?"
Blades Bill - September 8, 2011 02:54 AM (GMT)
"Drinkin' MY rum, Flynn," he said, the edge in his voice rising, but contained. "Y'know I put that away special for m'self! Why can't ya drink yer own?"
Flynn Blake - September 8, 2011 02:55 AM (GMT)
"S'my ship! S'my rum!" He pointed at him. "If you wanted it secret you shoulda stored it at the base. S'not my rum there."
Blades Bill - September 8, 2011 03:02 AM (GMT)
"But I bought it with MY money, Flynn," he protested. "'S'not salvage, 's'not shares, it's MINE, plain 'n'..."
At that point, Bill just bowed to the absurd. The captain was a mad man. That much was sure. But sometimes he latched onto things, didn't let go, and the best solution was just to roll with it and see where he took you. Usually it was worth the trip.
Bill headed over to the table in the room, and removed two glasses from the case there, and put them in front of Flynn. "At least use a glass, ya mad bastard... and give ME some. Y'salvaged it, so I'm entitled to my share."
Flynn Blake - September 8, 2011 03:06 AM (GMT)
Flynn took off his sombrero and looked it for a long moment before tossing it onto Bill's head. Then he leaned over and poured him a glass. He continued to drink out of the battle because sipping from a glass simply wasn't swash-buckly enough.
"Who's mannin' the pots if you're up here blubbering about being stolen from on a pirate ship? Why in the sky's name do I even pay you?"
Blades Bill - September 8, 2011 03:10 AM (GMT)
"Y'pay me because the pots are CLEAN right now," he reminded Flynn as he tipped up the hat and landed in one of the seats with HIS rum, "and because I've gained a maddenin' habit of pulling your arse out of the fire... literally on one occasion, as I recall it. Y'never listen to me when I tell ya y'shouldn't be in th'galley..."
Flynn Blake - September 8, 2011 03:12 AM (GMT)
"S'my galley! S'not my fault s'haunted and that I slept with that particular poltergeist's mother! How was I s'posed to know that would make it more angry? I thought it'd accept me as a father figure."
Blades Bill - September 8, 2011 03:17 AM (GMT)
Bill had heard that story. He knew there were hauntings on skyships, but he was still half-sure Flynn was just drunk out of his skull.
"Well, now you know not to," he stated through a grin and a mouthful of the smoothest stuff to ever come out of St. Michael Parish. "And now you know why y'pay me th'big bucks."
Flynn Blake - September 8, 2011 03:18 AM (GMT)
"Yes. Because we know old Blades Bill would never sleep with anyone, much less the ghosts' mom."
Blades Bill - September 8, 2011 03:22 AM (GMT)
"Right, and Flynn Blake is th'height of repressin' necrophilic intentions!" he shot back cheerily. "As if I need to remind you about Montenegro Station!"
Ah, Montenegro Station, he reminisced. Best station commander's daughter in the skies...
Flynn Blake - September 8, 2011 03:24 AM (GMT)
"I still don't believe anything other than you happened to fall with your cock in the right spot." He took another long drink of rum.
Blades Bill - September 8, 2011 03:29 AM (GMT)
"Nations have risen and fallen o'er someone's cock falling in the right spot," he defended. "Troy, Egypt, England and Henry the Eighth... you'd be surprised how much of th'world's history would be different if people weren't horny bastards."
Flynn Blake - September 8, 2011 03:31 AM (GMT)
"No. Those men fucked on purpose. I am completely convinced you just so happened to slip and fall into her vagina." He nodded solemnly.
"I met King Henry once. I beat him at a game of four square. Well, they didn't call it four square back then and we had to use a cabbage as a ball, but I beat him damn it."
Blades Bill - September 8, 2011 03:37 AM (GMT)
"Show me th'codpiece, y'lyin' sack of crap!" Bill quipped jovially. "And... I worked as hard as I could to avoid mistaken identity, but she simply wouldn't see reason. Not my fault she wanted it that bad..."
Bill rolled his eyes. "Look at me. I'm startin' t'sound like YOU."
Flynn Blake - September 8, 2011 03:45 AM (GMT)
"Hey! I did so! I can prove it!" He pulled his legs off the desk and opened his drawer. He pulled out an ornate dagger and placed it on the table.
"I won that!" It did have the word Tudor pounded into the gem studded hilt.
Blades Bill - September 8, 2011 03:50 AM (GMT)
Bill grabbed the dagger in disbelief and examined it. That LOOKED like real gold...
"Bah!" he said, tossing it back on the desk. "You knocked over a London museum, that's all! And that's IF you didn't get it in a bazaar in Mumbai f'r twenny quid! My, y've got some big brass ones, doncha?"
Flynn Blake - September 8, 2011 03:51 AM (GMT)
"Ah, whatever. Go fuck yourself. I beat 'im and you're jealous."
Blades Bill - September 8, 2011 03:56 AM (GMT)
"Sure thing, Captain," he said, gleefully twisting his love of his title. "And I suppose that'd be yer Time Lord name?"
Flynn Blake - September 8, 2011 03:58 AM (GMT)
Flynn pointed the bottle at him. "I dunno what that is, but if you say it to me again in an insultin' voice, I'll smash your face in with your own bottle of rum and feed ya to the buzzards."
Blades Bill - September 8, 2011 04:00 AM (GMT)
"AH HA! Y'DO admit that's my rum!"
Flynn Blake - September 8, 2011 04:01 AM (GMT)
He drank from it. "And yet I'm drinking it anyway."
Blades Bill - September 8, 2011 04:03 AM (GMT)
"Y'owe me at least a bottle of Extra Old. Y'know that now, right?" he said. "S'the only way t'balance the scales of th'universe... reestablish yer karma. Y'don't want to reincarnate as a slug, do ya?"
Flynn Blake - September 8, 2011 04:04 AM (GMT)
"Bill, m'a pirate. Karma is not my main concern. But by all means, we'll drop y'off in Tibet if you want."
Blades Bill - September 8, 2011 04:07 AM (GMT)
"Ah, they probably grade on a curve anyways," he said. "'f'not, they'd never get another lama."