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[♔ ISABELLE REID]

i fall in love too fast

Grocery shopping was not one of Isabelle’s favourite things in the world, but it was one of those things that had to be done about once a week. She didn’t spend a lot of time at her apartment, given that she ate lunch at work, and quite often dinner, too – or she went out, which also negated the need to have food in her fridge – but there were always basics to get, things that it was good to have in the cupboard, and every now and again she really did like to cook. She’d done it a lot when she’d been a kid, making meals for herself and her brother out of whatever she could find at home, and though she didn’t have much cause to do so, anymore, given that her breakfast generally consisted of a slice of toast or a banana, every now and again she came home from work early at the weekend, and cooked. She never made anything fancy, and she wasn’t really into baking, because when was she going to eat two dozen cookies, but she thought that there was something to be said for good, homecooked meals, too, and she had leftovers sitting in her freezer for the days that she came home late without having eaten, so that she could just heat something up and have a meal in minutes. Quite often she was just too tired to cook from scratch, though. She worked long hours – ridiculously long, in fact, so everyone told her, but Isabelle couldn’t help it. She always felt like she needed to give her work that amount of attention, and she felt safe at work. If she buried herself in her cases, in her preparation, then nothing could hurt her; it was her fall back, and perhaps she was too old to need that, now, but there were very few occasions when she would choose a social life over working. If her brother happened to be in town was one of them, because she didn’t see him nearly enough, and she would have done absolutely anything for him. If Jason persuaded her to spend time with him—and sometimes Isabelle only put up a fight for appearance’s sake, there, because of course she wanted to spend time with him. Occasionally she went for a drink with a friend, but very occasionally. Most of the time, Isabelle just worked.

Grocery shopping was, like laundry and cleaning her apartment, one of those things that had to be done, and she’d decided that doing it in the morning, and going in late, was probably the best way to go about it; it was Friday, after all, and Isabelle was pretty sure that her boss would have kicked her out of the office for the entire day, if he’d thought that it would make her rest for a little while, given the hours she’d been putting in the last few days, so she didn’t feel too bad about it. If necessary, she would stay late, or work over lunch, and she already planned to be in the office at the weekend, albeit for shorter hours, so it wasn’t as though she’d get behind. She didn’t need to work as much as she did, at all, but it meant that she could give her cases the attention that they deserved, and take on more, so Isabelle didn’t exactly think that it was a bad thing. It wasn’t as though she wanted to just sit at home doing nothing, after all; she liked to be productive. And while shopping for groceries wasn’t exactly fun, and it wasn’t doing her job – something Isabelle loved – it was definitely productive; she had things that she needed to get, and it was just one of those chores that had to be endured. And it wasn’t so bad, really; it wasn’t like she had to spend three hours at it, since she generally got the same things, anyway. She went to the grocery store closest to her house, not one of the large out of town ones like Walmart, and Isabelle had decided that getting herself a cheesecake would be a nice treat, for a change; it was her favourite dessert, for a start, although she didn’t allow herself to have it that often, because while she didn’t think that she’d really get fat, it wasn’t as though she exercised more than getting off the subway a stop early and walking briskly into work. And sometimes it was just nice to have something like that in the freezer, so that when she stopped her busy life for five minutes and let herself think, and inevitably started not feeling so great, she would have something other than a half-empty tub of ice cream to fall back on.

The problem came, of course, in actually deciding, and Isabelle was sure that she’d been standing in front of the fridge looking at the boxes for at least five minutes – and she had to laugh at how pathetic that was, when she had so many other things going on but her biggest problem right now was what flavour cheesecake she could buy. Really, it was pathetic. High flying lawyer, and she couldn’t even pick a pudding.

tag: ben. words: 877. notes: <33

[BENJAMIN WINTERS]

signals over the air

>

Grocery stores were great. Ben didn’t have to spend any time thinking about extensive grocery shopping, given that he was staying with his sister and when he finally went to Ohio, he’d be staying on campus and still wouldn’t need to be planning far ahead with what he wanted to eat. Which, in a way was good for him, since he was sure if ever given that responsibility, it’d be hard not to want to eat as much as he could as soon as he got home. Ben didn’t know anyone that hated food, necessarily, but not everyone was as enthusiastic about it as he was. He had a big appetite and was usually hungry or at the very least bordering on it. Unless, he managed to make himself sick by eating too much. It was a good thing for fast metabolism, and the fact that he was active enough to keep himself from putting on weight with everything that he ate. Ben didn’t pay attention to what was healthy for him. He ate what he wanted, how he wanted it and when. It could be six in the morning and if he was craving pizza, then he’d eat pizza. Generally, he craved junk food, but he didn’t think that was any different from the normal person, except he didn’t worry so much about it. It wasn’t that he hated healthy food, but it generally didn’t taste as good and he didn’t have a tendency to go out of his way to eat it. Not eating healthy hadn’t killed him yet. And he was only twenty, so he thought he had more than enough time before he had to start worrying about health consequences to how he ate, except for the occasional sick feeling when he mixed too many sweets and ate too much of it. Come on, who didn’t do that now and then?

He’d stopped in the grocery store early, hungry, but unsure of what exactly he wanted to eat. It was one of those moments where he could probably have eaten anything someone gave him. Although, he needed to make a choice and not try to buy out the entire store to do it. Although Ben had been in NYC for most of the summer now, there was still plenty that he spent his time exploring and even if he wasn’t completely familiar with it, he had no problem hanging out places on his own. He didn’t know many people in the city, so he didn’t see a problem with going out on his own when everyone else was busy or working. He could take care of himself in that regard and he tended to meet interesting people. Even if he never saw them again, because not all people he met randomly were people that he was going to talk to later. As much as he liked making friends, it wasn’t always appropriate to hand out his number to everyone he met. He was friendly, but not stupid. He figured once he got to OSU, he would meet more people and have more friends that were in one spot. There’d be parties and classes and people that he saw day in and day out. As excited as he was for that, he wasn’t looking forward to the classwork. Not to mention, he liked being able to hang out with his sister while he was there. That was going to change, but it was nowhere near like being separated by an entire ocean. They’d still see one another and visiting was going to be a lot more doable while he was there. Naturally, he thought, he might worry about her a little. She had been through a lot, but he also knew there were people taking care of her and that she’d be fine with him in Ohio. For now, he was enjoying the rest of his summer break, because it was going to come to a quick close soon and while the parties would be great, there was also going to be studying that he had to be held accountable for. As he walked down the refrigerated section, he noticed someone else there and paused. Without any hesitance or any ounce of shyness, he walked right up, peering at the cheesecake boxes behind the glass. “Chocolate’s best, I think.” He decided to put in, because it looked like she was trying to make a decision and Ben was bored, so what was wrong with a little conversation in the middle of the grocery store? Some people might be completely put off by it and he understood that—partially. But, it didn’t stop him from trying either. It wasn’t going to hurt to try to talk to a stranger, not unless they were some kind of freak. And from the looks of her, she didn’t fit into that category at all.

coded by alison wonderland. @ atf.

[♔ ISABELLE REID]

i fall in love too fast

There were times when Isabelle considered taking a week off on a whim, using the money that she had saved – and she was a very frugal person, so her bank accounts were definitely doing well – and buying a plane ticket somewhere, just to get away from her life for a little while. She could lie on a beach, she could visit museums or galleries, she could have some whirlwind holiday romance...but Isabelle knew that it wasn’t something that she was ever going to do. She’d spend the first hour after she arrived trying to find somewhere that had an internet connection so that she could check her email, and then she’d just sit on the balcony of her room with her laptop on her knee and work. It was better than sitting in an office and working, but Isabelle didn’t know how to put her papers down for any great length of time. When Jason had taken her to Bora Bora, he’d had to literally snatch her work out of her hands and threaten to toss it in the sea before she’d agreed to put it aside—and then it hadn’t exactly been a hardship to do yoga on the beach and spend the time that he wasn’t visiting his client in bed with him, had it? She’d never been anywhere tropical before; it had been wonderful, actually, when she allowed herself to step back from her life for a moment or two. But she didn’t want to go away alone. She was sure that she could visit somewhere extremely interesting, and spend all day being a tourist, but she was still going to be alone – and whatever she joked about, Isabelle wasn’t the kind of person to just hook up with some stranger on a whim. She slept with people that she liked...or hated, in the case of Jason, but clearly that hatred hadn’t lasted. She didn’t even know if it had really been there at all. She’d probably go and visit her brother at some point, but Ohio was hardly a prime vacation spot and Isabelle would absolutely be taking work with her there – but she kind of thought that if Jason ever offered to take her away again, she would agree, this time, without so many protests. She was tired of working all the time, tired of not seeing anything except her office or her apartment, but she couldn’t quite do it herself. And she didn’t want to go alone. Isabelle spent her life alone; she wanted to spend any vacation time with the man that she really, really liked.

And unless she was coerced into it, Isabelle wasn’t the sort of person to do anything on a whim, anyway; she liked to plan things out, to make sure that she wasn’t going to get behind on things, and maybe it might have been better if she loosened up a little, but she didn’t know how to. It wasn’t that she wanted to be the stick in the mud who only ever worked, but Isabelle didn’t know how to be anything else. She didn’t know how to move away from the safety net that working was, for her, and still not feel as though she was getting behind on things. It was just her life...she worked, and she was damn good at her job, so it was all worth it, in the end. Her life was good; she had a fantastic job, a nice apartment – even if she was barely there – and she didn’t want for anything material, at least, which was definitely something. It meant that Isabelle could buy what she needed, and things that she wanted, too. It meant that she could look after her parents and her brother financially, it meant that she could save for her daughter as well as for herself, and right now, it meant that she could stand looking at desserts, and not feel as though it would be a waste of money. If anything, it would cheer her up; there was something to be said for allowing yourself to have your favourite food, sometimes, and this was Isabelle’s. She looked over as someone came and looked in the fridge, smiling as he spoke to her. “You might be right, but that still provides decision-making issues,” she replied, and Isabelle wasn’t above making casual conversation with another shopper; they were talking about cheesecake, it was hardly dangerous. “Milk, dark, white...chocolate orange.”

tag: ben. words: 746. notes: <33

[BENJAMIN WINTERS]

signals over the air

>

Spending his summer in New York City was very much like a vacation. It was what it was supposed to be. He was in a new city, visiting his sister, who he hadn’t seen in far too long and it’d been a good summer. There were concerns, of course, especially after finding out what had happened to his sister. But, all in all, it’d been great. And he spent a lot of time acting like a tourist and exploring the city however he saw fit. He didn’t need to think about anything overwhelmingly stressful, because there wasn’t much to concern himself with. Classes hadn’t started yet, so he didn’t have to worry about deadlines and homework. And since he didn’t work, there were none of those responsibilities either. It was nice, and Ben was happy with the way he his life was right now. There really wasn’t a lot he could complain about. Things were more serious when he worried for his sister, naturally. And he hoped that in the time that he had been there, that he really had helped her a little. He wanted to see her happy again and back to her old self, without the broken pieces that some bastard left her with. Summer was going to come to a close soon and it sucked, it did. Because, who wanted to have to go back to class? Well, he supposed someone out there was probably nerdy enough to want to get back to schoolwork, but Ben wasn’t. The parties would be great and finally being on campus would be interesting. But, he’d definitely gotten used to playing tourist in New York City. It was a great city, and lived up to every expectation he had. It was nice, and he didn’t see why anyone wouldn’t want to take breaks. There was no fun in working all the time. Even if you loved your job, he thought it had to get tiring doing nothing else and not just doing whatever you wanted. And Ben knew one day, he’d have responsibilities and would have to think of those first, but right now he didn’t and he planned to take advantage of that. He liked living in the moment, because while the future was important, it was still the future. He didn’t see why he needed to be so completely focussed on it when there was a lot of other things to focus on in his present. He wanted to have fun, to get out and live. He didn’t think that he was going to be acting differently when he was older. But, there would be more priorities and he wouldn’t have as much freedom as he did right now. So, there was no problem in really living it up while he could.

When the girl he approached answered easily, he smiled. You could never quite tell if someone was open to petty conversation in the middle of a grocery aisle. Some were rude, or just ignored, others went and talked back or offered a quick word and disappeared as soon as he got there. Ben had no problem talking to strangers, especially if he was bored and alone. It wasn’t that he was going to approach just anyone. There was no way he was going to just waltz up to some shady looking person and start a conversation. And this one came about because he was in the same aisle, looking over the desserts too. So, it wasn’t really all that strange. Ben wasn’t shy; far from it. Around certain people, he was sure he could be intimidated, but who couldn’t? Everyone had to have someone that might make them feel nervous. Authority figures or famous people, Ben was sure there was someone out there that could make him quieter than he normally was. He didn’t really see the point of being too shy. It wasn’t that he didn’t have shy friends or wasn’t able to recognise that you didn’t have much of a choice in it. He just thought it wouldn’t have been a fun way to be. It was restrictive. “They’re all good choices too.” He said, because there wasn’t much that he would find gross involving chocolate as it was. “I think white’s a little too sweet, personally.” Talking about cheesecake in a grocery store was nice and safe. There was nothing too weird about it.

coded by alison wonderland. @ atf.

[♔ ISABELLE REID]

i fall in love too fast

Isabelle had always been the type of person to work hard; when she’d been little, it had made her forget the fact that all the children in school had things that she didn’t, and apparently that meant that they got to make fun of her for it. As she’d grown older, and the bullying had gotten worse, it had become even easier for Isabelle to bury her head in a book and not surface again until she’d written every essay she had to do for the next week; she didn’t have to think about how much the words hurt, then, how much they cut into her and how she was too weak to answer back to these people who insisted on making her life hell for no justifiable reason, and it had grown from just reading a book when she was upset to working as much as she possibly could, because it made things hurt less, if she did that. It made it so that she didn’t have to think about the pain inside, or how lonely she was, or how exhausted she was from being a high-achieving high school student and then going home to work as many hours as she possibly could to earn a little more money for the family. Things had been good, when she’d dated her high school boyfriend. She’d been in love for the first time, and he’d made it so that Isabelle didn’t care what anybody else said about her; he liked her, he found her fun to be around—and that was what mattered, at the end of the day. She’d felt like a real person, instead of the worthless thing everyone else saw, and it had been fantastic...so when she’d gotten pregnant, when he’d freaked and bolted and pretended that he’d never known her, she’d buried herself in her work even more, because then it didn’t matter what anybody thought, because she was getting good results, and she could easily spend entire days reading. It was the same now, almost ten years later; Isabelle felt good when she was around Jason. She felt like a likeable person, she felt fun and happy and smart and beautiful, and when he wasn’t around, or when he hurt her, she retreated into working her ass off. The number of cases she’d won showed how good she was at that.

Doing her weekly shopping was one of the few times that Isabelle didn’t go to work – and if she didn’t end up going to the office, for whatever reason, then she tended to work from home, anyway. She had to be really sick to do otherwise, and she was fortunately not the type of person who got sick particularly often. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d felt unwell enough to spend the entire day in bed and not want to at least check her email. She could, however, take a long enough break to do her shopping (she could even spend an entire weekend away from work, if she had the right company – and could sneakily check in on her phone), and not worry about it, because Isabelle knew for a fact that the work would still be there when she got back. She was insistent that she needed to work this hard, and that nothing would ever get done otherwise...but she knew that it wasn’t really the case. She knew that she could have cut a couple of hours from her working day and still been on top of everything. But she didn’t. She didn’t know how to. She smiled at the boy, before turning her attention back to the freezer; Isabelle could talk to people casually. That wasn’t something that she ever had an issue with. It was in making friends that she struggled. In letting people close enough to really get to know her, and sometimes, she didn’t even know how to make small talk; she wasn’t unsociable, or even shy, she was just...not exceptionally good with people. She could talk to her client fantastically, and get along well with them. She was close to her brother...beyond that, friends weren’t something that Isabelle could really have said that she had. And it was extremely lonely, which was why she decided not to pass up the opportunity to have a chat with someone about cheesecake. Superficial, sure, but at least it was conversation. “You’re probably right. And dark’s too bitter, most of the time,” she agreed, because Isabelle had to be in a particular mood for that, and when she wanted it to be her comfort food, bitter wasn’t exactly something that she wanted. “I’m Isabelle, by the way.”

tag: ben. words: 778. notes: <33

[BENJAMIN WINTERS]

signals over the air

>

Ben never had a particularly overly challenging life. Before college, he had gotten along fairly well with everyone. He was never the most popular, but had never been ridiculed by the most popular either. For the most part, they didn’t talk, although he could exchange smiles and friendly greetings in the halls if he wanted to, without fear of it. He had never been picked on by the school bully, not since he was small and he’d had friends that defended him and that hadn’t lasted. When he was older, he was left alone by people that might not like him. He’d had one embarrassing and completely mortifying experience with one of his exgirlfriends, but it wasn’t enough to make his life complete hell and he got over it. He was able to move on and his life was good. He didn’t tease other kids either. He tried to be nice to everyone he’d come across. Even if he really didn’t think he got along with them, he still didn’t want to be rude. He never understood the joy some kids got out of hurting others. He might not get along with everyone and he didn’t mesh in every group, but it didn’t give him the right to be an ass about it. It was easy to go about his life while they had theirs. And if he saw someone bullied, then he was one of those that liked to step in. He wasn’t looking to fight or have a confrontation and had never been in one, but he would stand up for someone that was weaker and only had a chance at getting constantly harassed. Why someone wanted to hurt another person was beyond him. He just didn’t see the point. He might not want to get along with everyone, but he didn’t want to be uncivil either. And honestly, Ben tried to make as many friends as he could. If he didn’t like someone, walking away or not talking was the best option. And there were people he’d never see himself as friends with, but that was okay. He wasn’t looking to be everyone’s friend.

As nice as it would be and as inclusive as he tried to be, it was just impossible and there were some people out there that really shouldn’t have him as a friend. Being social was one of his strong points. He knew how to talk to just about anyone, mostly because he didn’t think about it. He just said what was on his mind (rationally, he didn’t want to say anything offensive) and usually people were open to him. And since he didn’t know many people in New York, he had gotten used to random conversations. Otherwise, the only people he would talk to would be his sister and her friends. Not that she didn’t know some cool people and she was awesome enough, but he did have to meet people on his own. It wasn’t like he expected a friendship to blossom out of a talk in a grocery store or at a bus station, or anything like that. But, he could have fun and socialise without being from the city. There had been a little bit of concern about having to make friends all over again in the states. But, he had just started college the year before and had to do that back home too. So, it wasn’t anything new. Although, he had also been able to stay in touch and close to his old ones too. Naturally, he missed them a little bit. There had been a lot of things he saw and did in NYC that he knew his best friend would have loved and couldn’t help but call and brag or wish that he was there to share in his escapades. But, he just had to make more friends here. It wasn’t that hard and really he wasn’t complaining. He was happy to be there. “Chocolate orange is kind of neat, if you’re in the right mood. And you can never go wrong with milk chocolate.” He replied with a bit of a grin. Of course, cheesecake was pretty good no matter what the flavour. But, some were definitely better depending on the mood. “I’m Ben.” He introduced.

coded by alison wonderland. @ atf.

[♔ ISABELLE REID]

i fall in love too fast

Working hard was never something that Isabelle could have been accused of being afraid of; some people were lazy, and tried to get away with doing as little as they could for the amount of time that they put into something, essentially wanting to get paid as much money as possible for writing down a few things here and there, but not Isabelle. Not at all; she went above and beyond, worked far more hours than she was paid for, far more than she needed to do in order to have enough preparation for her cases, and if there was a project to be taken on, then she would be one of the first to volunteer herself, because despite all of her faults, despite the fact that work was her way of hiding and dealing with things, nobody could ever say that she did a crappy job at things. She didn’t; Isabelle might have exhausted herself, sometimes, with how hard she worked, but in her mind, it was worth it because her results were good. Not flawless, because nobody ever won every single one of their cases, not the best lawyers in the entire world, but a lot better than one might have expected someone who’d only been out of law school a year to be. Isabelle knew that she was good – her results proved that – but her issue lay in the fact that she was convinced she was good because she worked so hard, and not because she just happened to be talented anyway. She didn’t know if she was; she’d never been very good at objectively comparing herself to her peers, because she always saw her flaws, not her talents. If she stepped away from work for a few days, then she started to worry that she was getting behind on things, that she wouldn’t be as well-prepared as she needed to be...she just needed to cling to work with both hands, and it was very difficult to pry her away from it.

Not impossible, but it was certainly a task for someone persistent; Isabelle could be worn down (especially with the right motivators, such as spending time with the man that she liked), but that wouldn’t stop her trying to check her phone, trying to take something with her. How people could go away for two week long vacations and not check their email once was beyond her. She didn’t even want to think about how far behind she would get if she didn’t work for that length of time. She worried if she ended up taking an unexpected morning off because Jason wouldn’t let her get out of bed – although the worry always came much later on, because surprisingly enough, work tended not to be the first thing on her mind when a very handsome, naked man wanted to spend time with her. She just liked her routine. She did her grocery shopping on the same day every week, so she didn’t worry about work then, because it was part of her schedule – same with the other things she had to do. She could even leave the office a few hours early, if necessary, because she would always catch up. Perhaps she would start cutting her hours, though; if she just went home an hour earlier in the evening, she thought that that would be better, and while she didn’t exactly know what she would do, perhaps she’d have a chance to actually finish a book for the first time in God knew how long, or...something. She’d have to think about it, but to be honest, she probably could have used an extra hour’s sleep, anyway. Maybe she’d do that, then, and she was always going to work hard, but an hour was hardly going to make her behind with what she had to do, was it? “Don’t tempt me to get both,” she replied, because sure, there was room in her freezer and they’d keep fine, Isabelle really didn’t need two entire cheesecakes...except that they were nice. “It’s nice to meet you. Are you here looking for cheesecake yourself?”

tag: ben. words: 688. notes: <33

[BENJAMIN WINTERS]

signals over the air

>

It wasn’t that Ben didn’t know how to work hard; he did know and could do it well enough. But, he didn’t like to force himself to work too hard and he could never see the reasoning behind working too much and not having any time to play around. Ben liked his free time. He was a prime example of someone who liked to procrastinate, but still managed to get things done at the last minute. He could be productive and buckle down. When it came to school, he would study for his exams and work hard on projects, but he could have worked harder and he could have always studied more. But, at least he hit the mark he wanted to. He wasn’t going to be one of those people that was buried in work. If life stressed him out in any shape or form or if anything had him depressed then he buried himself in having fun. He would do things that he liked to lighten his mood and to forget about the world. If something bad happened, getting far from anything stressful was his escape. That was how Ben dealt with things. But, it wasn’t like he had a lot of problems to list out. Working could be fun, but it wasn’t as fun as not having responsibilities and doing whatever he wanted to do. Now, he did have responsibilities, but when he needed to cheer himself up, he let those fall to the wayside for a while. That was better than dwelling on it or burying himself in some unhealthy way. He thought finding a way to cheer himself up was perfectly fine. And maybe it was better to face problems, but Ben didn’t have any major problems that he saw ill effects from behaving that way from. No one wanted to be stressed or overworked and the thought of only worrying about school or later, a career, sounded exhausting.

Everyone liked to have fun, he simply allowed himself to have it as often as he wanted. There were times he had to settle and he did. But, he didn’t withhold himself from having a good time. If he wanted to go out, he went out, if he wanted to sleep in or even stay in bed most of the day and he had nothing better to do, then he’d do it and feel no guilt for it. It wasn’t that bad unless it stopped him from doing what he had to do. He wasn’t an overachiever. And while he had nothing against people who were, he just didn’t see himself ever taking that path. He was still motivated and productive and at the end of the day, that was what mattered. He didn’t think he’d be too happy if everything that he did was strictly routine. Everyone had habits and some form of a routine, but he needed that spontaneity now and then. Or else, life would be completely boring. He didn’t want to do the same thing day after day with no variation. School was a lot like that most of the time and he absolutely had his habits when it came down to it, but he made sure to keep himself interested in life too. He might have the same classes everyday and every weekend might have been spent looking for a party, but he did other things in between and nothing was too mundane. He figured he’d fall into that habit and structure once school started again too. That whole summer, he had done pretty much whatever he wanted to. He didn’t have to have too much of a structure and organised routine. It just didn’t seem as fun as acting on whims. “Why not? Both is the best solution for indecision.” Not everyone wanted to have that much sweets, but he definitely liked choosing both over one or the other. “I was thinking about it, yeah. I’m in the mood for dessert.” Well, he always was, really. He didn’t think there was ever a time where candy or desserts didn’t sound good to him.

coded by alison wonderland. @ atf.

[♔ ISABELLE REID]

i fall in love too fast

Relaxation was not a word in Isabelle’s vocabulary. She didn’t know how to, not on her own, at least, and had it not been for Jason dragging her out, she was pretty sure that she would have spent all of her time working, and not thinking about anything else at all; she did more than enough of that, as it was, but he was pretty damn insistent when he’d decided that she’d worked enough for one day. Really, she didn’t know why it bothered him so much, not when she had things to get done, but if he wanted to take her out, then who was she to complain—and Isabelle had to admit that she was more relaxed than she’d probably ever been in her life when she was half-asleep next to him. But generally speaking, there was far too much for her to get done, far too many things that needed her attention, and she didn’t know how to stop thinking about them, even if she did go out for the evening, or just got home a few hours earlier and took some time for herself; her brain kept spinning round, and she would rather focus on that, anyway. She helped people, with what she did, she did the right thing, and what, did people think that she’d be better off sitting in some bar alone, night after night, waiting for people to hit on her? Isabelle didn’t want to be hit on; she knew exactly whose bed she wanted to end up in. And before she’d gotten to know Jason, when he’d just been another asshole defence lawyer she didn’t like, she had worked just as hard as she did now – there just hadn’t been anybody around, taking notice of her hours. Sure, her boss had told her she should cut back, but it hadn’t really been out of concern for her welfare...Isabelle had no idea if Jason was actually concerned about her, but really, she wasn’t going to be complaining. It wasn’t relaxation, not really, but she had fun when she was with him. There wasn’t much fun in her life.

It was just a matter of taking things where she could, trying to spend as much time with Jason as she could, and not being bored by the things that she had to get done outside of work; a lot of people found grocery shopping tedious, but given that Isabelle was only buying for herself, and not much, either, given that she rarely had more than one meal a day at home, if that, it never ended up taking that long, and every now and then, she would get the inspiration to actually cook something. She was never going to be a gourmet chef, but she liked cooking well enough, and she wouldn’t spend afternoons doing it, but an hour every few weeks was hardly a bad thing. She wouldn’t have gone as far as to say that she enjoyed it, but it wasn’t the worst thing in the world, either. And at least she knew that she’d end up with something nice sitting in her freezer, for the next time that she felt in need of cheering up—and Isabelle wondered what it said about her life, that she knew there would be a next time. Whatever; she was content, at the moment, and she wasn’t going to think about how she might feel next week, because that was next week. Right now, she was shopping, she’d go home to sort it out, and then she’d head into work: that was Isabelle’s plan. “I guess there are worse things than having two cheesecakes in my freezer,” she conceded, because really, why would she complain about that? After all, they would last, she was sure of it, and why the hell shouldn’t she get two? “It’s a good mood to be in.” Most of the time, she just ate a sandwich, or whatever she could buy at work, but it was nice to have a few luxuries, sometimes. “Your accent is British, right? Are you on vacation here?”

tag: ben. words: 682. notes: <33

[BENJAMIN WINTERS]

signals over the air

>

Ben had never had any real trouble knowing how to relax. Everyone had times when they were too stressed out to think of anything else. He hadn’t been exempt from those. There had been times in school where he was too saddled with work and although he didn’t put every effort into it when he didn’t have to, he had to buckle down and worry about whether or not he was going to get a mark high enough to pass or not. Not everything was a cakewalk. But, for the most part, Ben knew how to let go. He knew when to shut his brain off and focus on pleasure instead of worry. Of course, he wasn’t always mature about his decisions and could end up chasing having a good time when maybe he should prioritise better. But, at the end of the day he wasn’t doing so poorly. He wasn’t going to be an overachiever and he didn’t think that he did anything that was extremely excellent and that he was the best at. He had his talents, but he didn’t think that they made him stand out above and beyond. But, at the same time, he wasn’t looking for that. He didn’t want to have the best grades or a career that made him famous. Although, who wouldn’t want to be wealthy and famous? Ben wouldn’t mind it. But, he didn’t really do anything that would make that happen and he wasn’t thinking less of himself for it. He did a lot of things with the average and that was all right. Ben was far from too focussed on jobs and obligations. Someday, he thought he’d be more focussed, but not t the extent that he was a stick in the mud. And when he saw other people working too much, he generally tried to help them calm it down and have fun. Being stressed all the time couldn’t be healthy. It looked downright maddening.

And he understood the need for a career or school. He knew the importance of hard work and effort. But, he didn’t know if it was worth it if you were unhappy all of the time. It couldn’t be all that there was. Even if you were passionate about what you did, there had to be a breaking point where you just wanted something else. Ben didn’t know how people could be different. Although, he was completely accepting to the idea that people were. For him, he would have needed something else. His attention span wasn’t the best and he liked to be able to tackle a lot of different things, rather than focussed in on the same thing each and everyday. There was a point where routine became boring and even things that were fun just weren’t because they were done too often. Ben would have needed a change. That was part of the reason why a career was so intimidating. He still didn’t know what he could sit down and do for the rest of this life. He loved to write, sure and there were a lot of fields he could go into with that as a base. But, it didn’t mean that he was ready to choose any one thing. So, better that he was in college, attempting to figure that out. “A lot of worse things. That’s a pretty good thing, really.” There was nothing wrong with having extra dessert. Unless you were worried about eating it all in one sitting. Which, for Ben, buying sweets in bulk didn’t mean it was going to last. But, he wasn’t bothered by having too much either. “Yeah, it is,” he replied. “Sort of. I’m visiting my sister right now. But, I’m starting classes in Ohio in the fall, so I’m sticking around for a while.” He explained, and right now, he was definitely in vacation mode. He’d been in it since he arrived in New York, but as summer started to wind down, he knew he was going to have to settle in once he got to Columbus.

coded by alison wonderland. @ atf.

[♔ ISABELLE REID]

i fall in love too fast

The fact that it was the summer had barely even registered with Isabelle; yes, the weather was hot, far too much so, when she left the air conditioned perfection of her office or apartment, but that was about as far as the realisation had gone. And she guessed that if she thought about it, her brother was talking about what he’d been up to and where he had gone, when she spoke to him, rather than his classes, but really that was the extent of it. She had no plans to go on vacation, or even take a couple of weeks off to just do things around the city, or go visit her parents; there was too much to do at work, and yes, Isabelle’s definition of what was important varied somewhat when it was compared to what other people thought was necessary to stay in late for, and what could have been left until the next day, but even if she’d worked days that were the same length as everybody else, Isabelle would still have been busy. And what would she have done if she’d taken time off? She had never really been the sort of person to enjoy just lying on a beach doing nothing, and she could hardly ask Jason to come on vacation with her, however much the thought might have appealed; if he was there, she was pretty sure that she would have been alright with lying on a beach for a little while, because the conversation would be good—and there were worse things to do than look at him in swimwear. The world didn’t stop just because it happened to be the time when the weather was best, after all, and she still had to work to keep a roof over her head and food on her plate. That wasn’t something that was just going to magically appear if she stopped working, was it? As nice as it might have been if the world of work had had breaks, in the same way that schools did, it just didn’t happen that way. Even if it had done, Isabelle wasn’t sure that she would have stopped; she didn’t know how to take a step back, especially not for that length of time.

It was probably a good thing that she had only been working for just over a year, because otherwise, the number of paid vacation days that would have mounted up would probably have been ridiculous; she went to her parents’ for Thanksgiving and Christmas/New Year/her birthday, that was it. There had been a couple of days she’d spent down in Ohio with her brother, over Easter, but that was it. She didn’t want to take any more time off than that, and Isabelle didn’t think that people got that. She didn’t think that they understood that she really did like her job, that she really did think that she had enough things to do to keep herself occupied for that many hours a day, and after all, nobody could ever have said that her research wasn’t some of the most in-depth they had ever seen, because it was. She worked hard for good reason; to get results, and Isabelle most certainly had them. Maybe she would have gotten such good results if she’d worked a few hours less each day, because she definitely had natural talent, but Isabelle didn’t believe that; in her eyes, the hours she worked was directly correlated to how good she was. “Aside from the temptation, and the potential to get fat,” she joked, although that wasn’t really something that Isabelle spent a lot of time worrying about; she walked to as many places as she could manage, and in a city like New York, that definitely counted as exercise. She nodded as he explained. “Are you enjoying it here?” she asked, because okay, Isabelle had never actually been up the Empire State Building, but she still knew that NYC was a place that tourists loved to be. “Which school are you going to?”

tag: ben. words: 675. notes: <33

[BENJAMIN WINTERS]

signals over the air

>

A part of what made having a career already unappealing was the lack of a break. He liked the thought of having regular breaks sporadically through the year. He didn’t want a rigid schedule where he barely had time to experience the weekends. He knew that there were a lot of jobs out there where that wasn’t a problem. He didn’t want to always be busy. He wanted time to have fun and do whatever he’d like to. He wanted vacations where he could go somewhere new or spend time with his friends or his family. He didn’t see himself living a different life from that one. He was never going to be that guy stuck in the office until the early hours, hunched over a desk. It would kill him to turn into that. He needed to have fun, needed to live a life that wasn’t full of stress and work. Even if work was fun, it was still work. Important or not, there were more important things out there. He liked to think that having fun was as important as working was. Because, without it, what kind of life could you really have? It was boring and too structured. He didn’t think that someone that worked endlessly without stop could be truly happy. And maybe he was wrong, because Ben couldn’t say how other people felt and he tried to be open to different opinions. But, it was hard, from his side to view working all the time as the sign of a great life. Working a lot and enjoying it was different than being run by it and working around the clock with no time off or time to yourself. Ben had never been in the career world, so he didn’t have an experience to judge from. It was just a preference based on what he saw and how he perceived other people.

“It doesn’t look like you have a lot of risk with weight,” Ben noted, looking at her with a smile. Ben really never worried about his own. Even though he ate a lot of food and most of it wasn’t healthy. He liked to eat and he did work out now and then and liked to run, so most of it ended up burned off. He was always full of energy, so it wasn’t as if he wasn’t using all of the food he consumed. But, not everyone could afford to shove their faces with whatever they wanted. “Besides, cheesecake is worth it.” So far, New York had been great. And he played the tourist often and went off to find things to look at, or to experience that he heard of. He’d gone to the empire state building, the statue of liberty and every NYC landmark he could think of and that was suggested. He had all summer, after all, Ben planned to fill it up as much as possible. “Yeah, I love it here. I’ve been playing tourist all summer, it’s great.” He explained. And although there had been things that he found out that had been less than good and didn’t add to the awesome portion of his summer, it didn’t change that he had a good time either. He loved it there so far. And it was going to be sad to have to start school, but it wouldn’t be too bad either. He would take a while to adjust back into a schedule that didn’t allow him to be awake at whatever hour he wanted and to sleep however he liked, and he had to bring his brain back into academic mode. Though, probably no different than most students. “Ohio State.” He replied.

coded by alison wonderland. @ atf.

[♔ ISABELLE REID]

i fall in love too fast

Isabelle took enough breaks to know that she wasn’t going to burn herself out, and really, that was what mattered. She worked long hours too many days of the week, but she didn’t work so much that she never got a chance to sleep, and maybe she wasn’t good at leaving her work behind, feeling the need to check her email on her phone, if nothing else, when she wasn’t at the office, and it wasn’t particularly difficult for a certain man to persuade her to have lunch or dinner with him, something which frequently led to her writing off the rest of the day; she put up a fight, of course, because she always did have something to do, but she wasn’t going to honestly say no to the idea of spending time with him, either, because why the hell would she do that? They’d spent a few weekends together, now, usually ending in him confiscating her phone, and yeah, Isabelle always felt as though she had a hell of a lot of catching up to do, when that happened, but while it was happening, she was generally more focussed on the naked man in her bed, or the fact that he wanted to go out somewhere with her. It really shouldn’t have been that way, that there was only one person who could make Isabelle step back from work, but she didn’t have any close friends, not in the same way, and Isabelle would have spent all of her time with him, if she could. Given that she couldn’t, however, especially since she had absolutely no desire to seem clingy, she worked. She did her chores, her volunteering, sometimes she went home early and cooked for herself, putting the leftovers in the freezer, but for the most part, Isabelle worked. She was okay with that; she loved her job.

Working hard was in her nature, and was something she’d always done; she’d had jobs while she’d been at school, and had still managed to be near the top of her classes, get good marks on her papers, and spent as many lunchtimes as was possible hidden in the library, working or reading or just hiding out. She’d had at least one job, and sometimes two, for the entirety of her college and law school life, and they had never been anything to shout about, definitely not something that she would have wanted to do for the rest of her life, but no matter how dull they had been, since it wasn’t exactly easy for a college student to get a brilliant job, even one as intelligent as she was, they had been a way to earn a little extra cash, and given that she had attended college entirely on grants, scholarships and state funding, that was always welcome. “I might do if I eat two entire cheesecakes,” she replied, jokingly; it wasn’t really something that Isabelle had ever had to worry about, and she walked enough not to justify not exactly working out, but she had to wonder how many cheesecakes she could consume before she started putting on weight – hypothetically, since it was hardly something she was going to test out to make sure. Even she could get sick of desserts. She smiled, glad to hear that he was enjoying himself; Isabelle might not have known who he was, but that didn’t change the fact that it was a good thing to hear, and while she’d never done the tourist thing herself, despite the fact that she lived here, it had to be pretty good, right? “I’m glad you’ve been enjoying yourself. What’s been the best thing you’ve seen?” She nodded; huh, small world. “It’s a good school. My brother goes there.”

tag: ben. words: 626. notes: <33

[BENJAMIN WINTERS]

signals over the air

>

Ben didn’t like to think of himself as lazy necessarily. He had too much energy to be completely lazy. Although he had days where all he wanted to do was sit in front of the TV and watch some kind of movie marathon and snack out on junk food. He would be surprised if most people didn’t have those days sometimes. Ben liked to keep moving. He had a short attention span some of the time and a lot of energy to make up for. He couldn’t imagine working too hard, however. Sure, there might be times where the ends justified the means, but a lot of the time, when he heard about people that worked too much, there was no reason for it. Everyone should have time to take a break and have fun. He didn’t think life was very entertaining without having a good time. And there were a lot of people out there that didn’t seem to understand how to have a good one. It’s not that he expected everyone to have the same perception that he did when it came to fun. He didn’t. Not everyone was going to get along with him as far as having a good time was concerned. What was good for him might not be what was right for another person. Yet, he didn’t think that working too often was going to be fun for anyone. How could it be? Even if you loved your job, he imagined that it would be Hell if there wasn’t some kind of variety to be had. Ben might not be accurate. He didn’t know a lot of people that worked 24-7 and that loved every second of it. It wasn’t to say that they couldn’t exist. Ben just thought that if you worked too hard, eventually it would show and bog you down. He never wanted to be that person. He didn’t want to be the stick in the mud that only thought about work. He wanted a career, sure, and he wanted a lot of money, but he also wanted to have a good time with his life and he’d make sure that he had one.

He didn’t think he could ever tolerate boring. And maybe some people had a different perception or a different tolerance to what was boring, but Ben wanted to have a good time. He didn’t want to be strict and rigid all of the time. But, he supposed he wasn’t really at risk of that. He figured that people who did work that way had that personality type from the get go, rather than people like him turning into that. That was probably more unheard of. “Walk it off, you’ll be okay.” He assured her with a smile. As if someone should really eat two cheesecakes. He didn’t think a lot about his weight. He did work out sometimes and he figured he must have had a high metabolism for some of the food that he ate and how much of it he could. Of course, even he could get sick off of desserts if he ate way too much of it at once. It wasn’t as if he never experienced that. For as much as he ate, he did make himself sick with food now and then. But, it didn’t stop him once he was feeling a lot better. “That’s a tough one. I’ve been everywhere. Museums, clubs, the tops of buildings, everywhere. And food, god, I think I found the best pizza anywhere.” He commented, it really was hard to choose one thing and say that was the best thing he saw. He could probably choose something though, it was just a lot to choose from. “Really? Small world.”

coded by alison wonderland. @ atf.

[♔ ISABELLE REID]

i fall in love too fast

At the end of the day, more than anything, there was one thing Isabelle believed: that hard work was what got you places. It didn’t matter how naturally intelligent she was, how much of what she did was something that had been honed by school, rather than taught; she knew for a fact that she wouldn’t be where she was today if she hadn’t spent years working her ass off to actually make something of herself and not be the stereotypical teenage mom who got herself absolutely nowhere. Yes, she was smart, that couldn’t be denied, and she would never have gotten into Harvard without that talent (without filling some quota they had to fill for people from poor families, too, she imagined), because she hadn’t spent her entire high school life practising to get in in the way that a lot of people probably had, and she wouldn’t have made it as a lawyer if there wasn’t natural talent, because being at home in a court room, thinking on your feet and knowing exactly how to phrase a question to get the information that you needed, that wasn’t something that you could fake. Isabelle loved being there, she loved how confident she was in court compared to the rest of her life, and she wasn’t pretending to be at home there, she really wasn’t. But she still wouldn’t be here if she hadn’t busted her ass through college and law school. She still wouldn’t have had the position she had, only a year out of school, if she hadn’t worked so many hours, if she hadn’t put all her energy into work. So what if it had cost her her social life? It wasn’t as though Isabelle had had one in the first place, and this was more important. This job was what was going to allow her to buy her parents an amazing house, in a year or so. It was what was going to make sure that her brother never wanted for anything again. It was what was going to enable her to save for her daughter. It was what was going to keep her sane, keep her from thinking about the less good things in her life, and that was what Isabelle wanted. She needed to work as hard as she did, because she wouldn’t get anywhere otherwise.

And she would have bet that nobody she’d been to high school with would have imagined that she would make it this far. Her seventeen year old self wouldn’t have believed it, after all; she hadn’t know what she was going to do with her life, but she didn’t think that she’d be a goddamned lawyer, that she would do something so important, that she would be spending her life helping people. She’d thought that perhaps she would teach, maybe be a nurse, since she hadn’t even considered being able to afford med school, and yet here she was, having gone through law school instead. It was definitely what she was meant to do, Isabelle thought. It was definitely what she loved to do, and all those people (including herself) who’d said that she’d never amount to anything, well, they were so wrong. It wouldn’t make up for the things that had gone wrong in her life, it wouldn’t make Isabelle miss her daughter any less, or feel so stupid for being in love with someone who would never love her back, but she wasn’t going to regret her job. She wasn’t going to feel bad about the fact that she helped people, that she helped serve justice – and that she was damn good at it, too. There were a lot of things that Isabelle wished she could change about herself, but how good a lawyer she was wasn’t one of them. She loved her job. “If I get one with fruit on the top, does that mean I can skip my salad?” she asked, and yes, she was joking, but as much as Isabelle ate relatively healthily (when she remembered to eat), she didn’t think that there was anything wrong with having a treat every now and again. She nodded as he talked about what he’d been doing, and she hadn’t actually done that many of the touristy things herself, because she’d come here to work, but it sounded like he’d had a good time, at least. “Finding good pizza is definitely a good thing,” she agreed, and God, she’d definitely had some bad pizza since she’d been living here – and how hard was it to screw pizza up, of all things? “Yeah. He’s going to be a junior, come September. What’s your major?”

tag: ben. words: 779. notes: <33