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 it's just me, tag isabelle
ADRIAN MORGAN
Posted: Mar 13 2012, 07:46 PM


TWENTY-THREE | CYN
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Group: NEW YORK CITY
Posts: 73
Member No.: 123
Joined: 28-December 11



I'LL WAIT HERE, YOU'RE CRAZY
THOSE VICIOUS STREETS ARE FILLED WITH STRAYS
›phony people come to pray. look at all of them beg to stay. phony people come to pray.‹

Friends weren’t something that Adrian had a lot of. Actually, he wasn’t too sure where real friends began and the phony ones did. That was, if he had legitimate friends. Sure, there were guys he hung out with, people that he liked the company of above other people, but he wasn’t sure exactly how close a friendship with him could go. Frankly, his ideas on friendship weren’t that they generally meant a lot at all. People didn’t mean much to him and not because he was cold or unfeeling, but because he didn’t mean much to them either. Experience told him that people didn’t think much beyond themselves. Everyone had what they wanted and while some were kinder and more charitable than others, Adrian wasn’t around those people. He’d never had much of warmth when it came to family or friends. With his brother, he knew what family was supposed to feel like and he understood giving a damn about someone and having them give him the time of day. But, he was a rarity and one of those people that hadn’t had to give up everything to make sure he was still alive. He could have dropped him off with the system after his mom died, but he hadn’t. There weren’t a lot of people that would have done that, he was sure. And Adrian would have probably done anything he could to help his brother out if he needed it, but generally, he didn’t need his help. It was Adrian that depended on him a hell of a lot more. And lately, he’d been trying to fix that. For the past year or so, he made it his ultimate goal to ensure that his brother didn’t have to think of him as the dependent little brother that couldn’t do anything for himself. He was self-sufficient and was going to school (although that was never something that his brother had so much as pushed), and he didn’t get into any more trouble than his older sibling did, so it was all right.

It wasn’t as if the only role model in his life was someone who had a lot of great qualities to look up to. His brother was a drug dealer, someone a lot rougher around the edges than he was. He wasn’t some upstanding citizen; not in the least bit. But, he took care of him and was his brother no matter what. To Adrian there hadn’t been any other role models to look up to. His mother was a dead drug addict and he didn’t know where the fuck his father was, except that he was probably no better than his mom had ever been. Adrian had met Noah at school and for all accounts he was a pretty cool guy. They got along all right and Adrian genuinely liked the company. That wasn’t fake when it came down to it. The two were clicking well. When it came to school, Adrian knew plenty of people but he didn’t have tons of friends. He had a lot of acquaintances outside of it, but as far as internally was concerned, he didn’t tend to hang out with a lot of them on his spare time. Noah was cool though, and not to mention pretty damn cute, so that was always a plus when it came down to it. And if he could pull him into his world a little bit, then there was always the prospect of money. It probably wasn’t the sign of a great friend to make someone dependent on something you had to offer or on the good time that you considered to be better. But, that was Adrian’s world. It was what he knew. He’d been to the apartment before now, once to drop off the bike when Noah was in the hospital and a few times just to hang out. Right now was the latter, although currently they weren’t in the same area of the apartment. Instead, Adrian was hanging out on the couch, flipping through channels on the TV, waiting on him when he heard the front door open. Already, he knew that the apartment technically belonged to the dude’s sister, so it wasn’t at all startling, though it stole his attention anyway.

made by cupcakesss of Caution 2.0
♔ ISABELLE REID
Posted: Mar 14 2012, 11:51 AM


TWENTY-FIVE | BECCASAUR
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Group: NEW YORK CITY !
Posts: 745
Member No.: 15
Joined: 27-May 11



It had been an...interesting few weeks, to say the least. That was, if your definition of interesting happened to include feeling heartbroken and weary, looking after someone who yes, you loved more than anything else but who was still a really difficult person to look after, and then having everything go back to smiles and teasing and stolen kisses while she was cooking. She was tired and her heart ached, and while she didn’t believe that everything with Jason was just magically better, she was glad that they at least appeared that way; when bad things happened, they weren’t forgotten, they might still have had an affect inside, but she knew that there came a point where pushing them down and ignoring them was the only way to go on. The tiredness would be cured by another few days of sleeping in, one of them using the other as a pillow, her heartache never really disappeared anyway, and hopefully everything would return to normal. That was all that Isabelle wanted, really, for things to stay the same, for them to remain good, and not constantly be turned upside down by something. And there did always seem to be something; she wished that it would stop, that they could just be for a little while, without outside influences affecting that, but Isabelle knew that that was too much to ask. But she was going to pretend, regardless. She was going to pretend that she was happy, until she actually was again. She was going to pretend that this thing of theirs would last, and that something wouldn’t happen to make her be shoved away and feel as though she was useless, worthless, because at the end of the day, he didn’t need her as much as she needed him. She was going to pretend that everything was okay, because maybe it actually was, and she was just over-thinking it too much because she expected things to be bad. Isabelle didn’t know, anymore; it had gotten to the point where she didn’t know what was going on, but merely tried to do everything she could to make sure that Jason was okay. That was what was important to her.

Heading back to her apartment was merely a pit stop; Isabelle had a couple of things that she needed to pick up, and she wanted to check on her brother, too, however much he might have told her that he was an adult and she didn’t need to do that, but they’d barely talked since she’d gone back to Jason’s, and she really wanted to make sure that he was okay, that he was taking his meds and feeling alright, that he had everything he needed. Looking after people was in her nature, and she couldn’t help it, couldn’t help but worry and fuss and probably be a complete pain, really, just because she wanted to be there to make sure that the people she loved were alright. If he wasn’t in, she’d leave a note and tidy up a bit before she headed back to Manhattan, but she hoped that he was around, if only because she missed him. Their arrangement might have been a little weird, she understood that, the fact that it was her apartment but she barely lived here now, the fact that he stayed here rent-free, or that she mothered him even though both of their parents were alive and well, but Isabelle didn’t care, honestly. She wouldn’t have changed her relationship with her brother for the world, and he was her best friend. At times, he was her only friend. Balancing her things in one arm – because of course she’d had to bring him groceries – Isabelle unlocked the door and went inside, depositing the bag on the hall table as she kicked the door shut. “Noah?” she called out, heading into the apartment. “It’s me, I brought—” She paused, cutting herself off at the sight of an unfamiliar face in the living room. Well, he was entitled to have friends over, and at least she hadn’t walked in on the two of them having sex, or something, because that would have been completely embarrassing. “Oh. Hey.”

tag: adrian ; words: 701 ; notes: <33
ADRIAN MORGAN
Posted: Mar 18 2012, 11:06 PM


TWENTY-THREE | CYN
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Group: NEW YORK CITY
Posts: 73
Member No.: 123
Joined: 28-December 11



I'LL WAIT HERE, YOU'RE CRAZY
THOSE VICIOUS STREETS ARE FILLED WITH STRAYS
›phony people come to pray. look at all of them beg to stay. phony people come to pray.‹

Caring about other people wasn’t easy for Adrian; it never had been. He was used to people not giving a shit about him and hence, it was hard for him to return the favour. He was sure that if he trusted anyone enough that they would let him down and that would be the end of it. If he put faith in someone, then he was going to be pushed aside and would realize immediately why you didn’t do that. He could put a lot of trust in his older brother, because he had never let him down. He didn’t make him feel like crap for believing in him and he had proven over and over again that he cared enough to take care of him even when he didn’t quite need it. He was twenty-three; he technically didn’t need anyone looking out for him. But, he didn’t know what he’d do without him there. He couldn’t imagine not having his brother there to take care of things when he really needed it. Adrian didn’t want to think about his world if he didn’t have that crutch. And what was wrong with having one person that he could count on? It wasn’t as if he could have that with everyone else. Adrian had never had a friend that he could have that with and he’d never had a relationship either that gave him a mutual compassion. Of course, he really hadn’t ever had a real relationship at all. It hadn’t occurred to him that he needed one. He wasn’t in love with anyone and didn’t trust anyone that close to him. He had friends and acquaintances and people that he slept with, but not anyone that he fell for or wanted to spend all of his time with. There were people he liked to hang out with more than others, but he was never going to stop being wary about being close to someone. That was asking for damage, right?

Hanging out with Noah was cool, because he happened to be pretty awesome. Adrian liked the company. He could have friends, but they just didn’t get past the barriers that he built for himself. So, if anything ever happened, he wasn’t going to be hurt by it. He wouldn’t give a damn, really. That was the point of his life. He moved through it looking for fun and looking out for himself, knowing that people were usually interested in themselves too. It was easier not to get hurt when that was the case. He was used to people letting him down and when it was a casual friendship and clicking on common interests, there was no risk of that if anything ever went awry. Adrian stood up to greet the person that walked in. He knew that Noah had a sister, so when he noticed that it was a woman, he imagined that was probably who she was. He hadn’t seen her, but he’d heard of her, so that was something anyway. And he supposed it was probably a little starting to see a stranger in the apartment. Unless, of course, Noah had people over often, in which case maybe not. The truth was, he didn’t know enough about the situation. But, he smiled at her; he could pull off friendly when he wanted to. He didn’t think he was a massive prick all of the time; only when someone turned on him or didn’t pay. Once someone rubbed him the wrong way, all bets were off. “Hey.” Adrian replied. “I think Noah’s in the shower or something.” He said, but wasn’t honestly that sure what he was doing. Adrian really wasn’t that bad with strangers, even if they were in their place, hanging out. He wasn’t shy or modest; he knew how to socialize and talk to people, regardless of the situation. “I’m Adrian. You're his sister, right?” Fair guess, wasn’t it?

made by cupcakesss of Caution 2.0
♔ ISABELLE REID
Posted: Mar 20 2012, 11:24 AM


TWENTY-FIVE | BECCASAUR
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Group: NEW YORK CITY !
Posts: 745
Member No.: 15
Joined: 27-May 11



Isabelle shouldn’t have been surprised to find someone else here, she guessed; she’d told Noah to treat the place like his own, since she only ever came back here when she and Jason fought, now, or she realised that she needed something that was still in the wardrobe, and her brother was perfectly entitled to have friends over. It was good that he was having friends over, because that wasn’t something that she’d seen from him much, lately, with all the crap that had been going on for him, and she was glad that he’d made new friends – or maybe this was just an old friend that she hadn’t seen before. Isabelle liked to think that she knew most people in Noah’s life, just because she wanted to be involved, and it was nice to know who his friends were (and make sure that they weren’t going to be pushing him towards starting the drugs again, because she would send her brother to rehab if she had to), but it wasn’t as though she forced him to tell her everything. He was an adult, and sure, Isabelle looked after him, probably more than she really needed to, but that was okay, as far as she was concerned; she liked looking after him. She liked looking after everybody, really, and her brother was no exception to that. She was less good at looking after herself, Isabelle would readily admit that, but that was an evaluation that she could deal with, generally speaking; the other people, those that she loved, in her life came far higher up her priority list than she did, and Isabelle would have done anything to make sure that they were okay. She did do anything, really, and it was hard, sometimes, sure, but if they were happy, then she could be happy too – it was hard to be happy when Noah was struggling as much as he did with things, and it was hard to be happy when Jason was upset, and not just because he projected his bad mood onto everybody else. Isabelle would have done anything to make them happy. They were two of the three most important people in her life, with her daughter being the third.

They deserved to be happy, and if the people that she loved were, then maybe she could be too, but it was hard to be when they were hurting. It made her incredibly sad how hard Noah had it, how he had his illness to deal with, and she knew that he didn’t have great days—but while she wished more than anything that he didn’t have to go through that, that she could just make everything better for him, the truth was that Isabelle would have worried far too much about him regardless of the status of his health. It was what she did; she worried, she put people ahead of herself, and if that made her tired, then she was tired. Isabelle was used to it, so she worried less about it, and that was just that really. Didn’t everybody put the people that they loved first? She wouldn’t have understood it if they hadn’t, and especially her brother—Isabelle would absolutely have given him the world, if she could, because it would still be less than he deserved. She didn’t care if she did more for him than most big sisters would; she was never going to stop looking after him. She nodded at the guy, putting the rest of her things down and smiling at him. “Alright. I’ll wait,” she said, picking up the groceries and heading into the kitchen to put them away, unpacking the items onto the counter. “Oh, hey, he’s mentioned you. You’re the guy who brought his bike over when he was in hospital, right?” At least he wasn’t some complete stranger, then, because that would have been slightly more awkward. She turned and nodded. “Yeah. I’m Isabelle.”

tag: adrian ; words: 659 ; notes: <33
ADRIAN MORGAN
Posted: Mar 22 2012, 06:46 PM


TWENTY-THREE | CYN
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Group: NEW YORK CITY
Posts: 73
Member No.: 123
Joined: 28-December 11



I'LL WAIT HERE, YOU'RE CRAZY
THOSE VICIOUS STREETS ARE FILLED WITH STRAYS
›phony people come to pray. look at all of them beg to stay. phony people come to pray.‹

Putting people first wasn’t something that Adrian did a lot of. It wasn’t that he thought that people shouldn’t put the ones they care about first or ahead of themselves, but instead a lack of having people that close to him. There weren’t people to worry about or put first. And really, he didn’t believe that many people really practised that. He thought that people pretended to but at the end of the day, he figured most were out for themselves. Without having a group of people that were close-knit, Adrian wasn’t exposed to a lot of selflessness. He was in terms of his brother, who had put him first most of the time and still cared about him even though he was an adult and more than capable of taking care of himself. He appreciated it too, rather than resented it because he thought he was old enough not to need his brother looking after him. But, that was a rare case. He did think that other people might have a support group bigger than his. He imagined other families were different, where there were actually parents that gave a shit or more than one sibling. Adrian didn’t have that. He didn’t have family beyond his brother anymore and he didn’t think that his parents had ever cared about the kids they were saddled with more than they cared about themselves. Hell, his dad wasn’t even saddled with anything. He didn’t even know the man, which was a clear identifier that he didn’t care. And his mom let drugs kill her rather than being there to take care of her sons, so it was obvious where her head was. As far as friends were concerned, Adrian did have people that he got along with. He had people that he called his friends, but he didn’t know how close they really were or if it was just a matter of close acquaintances, at the end of the day.

He never expected his friends to do everything for him—or anything for that matter. He didn’t expect any show of kindness or selflessness. He wasn’t looking for a shoulder to cry on. One, because he wouldn’t be caught dead crying and two, he didn’t trust anyone enough to show them any sign of emotion that revealed that much about him. The walls that he put up were going to stay intact. He used his friends more often than not. He wasn’t even the best influence; given all that he would lead his friends to do if he had the chance. Partying and drugs were a part of Adrian’s life completely. He was a drug dealer, for crying out loud. And if he had friends willing to buy off of him, even better. And the offer usually came up. If he could get something out of the people that he hung out with, that was better. It wasn’t as if they weren’t getting something out of him too. Adrian’s life was full of people that he used and that used him right back. He never thought it was that bad, really. Honestly, he didn’t think it was all that strange. “Yeah, that was me,” Adrian replied. And it was concerning that Noah had gone to the hospital to begin with and it wasn’t hard for Adrian to do something for someone else if they really needed it. Like dropping a bike off for a friend in the hospital wasn’t necessarily challenging. “It’s good to meet you. He’s mentioned you.” Obviously, or else she would have been a confusing sight. Siblings generally came up in conversations with people when you were learning about them anyway.

made by cupcakesss of Caution 2.0
♔ ISABELLE REID
Posted: Mar 24 2012, 01:17 PM


TWENTY-FIVE | BECCASAUR
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Group: NEW YORK CITY !
Posts: 745
Member No.: 15
Joined: 27-May 11



Doing anything for her family was something that just came naturally to Isabelle. She'd been looking after her little brother her entire life, helping him with homework, buying things out of the tiny amount of money she earned that he would never have been able to have otherwise, and just doing as much as she could for him. He'd been there for her during her darkest time, and she knew that she probably wouldn't have survived if she hadn't had Noah there to be her best friend and to hug her or cheer her up when all the kids at school were making her life a misery, and he was still her best friend, even now. She didn't tell him everything, at least not straight away, because she wanted to be strong for him, and she wanted him to need her more than she needed him, almost, but if she was upset, then she knew that he'd always be there for her. That was what siblings were for, right, and they were a lot closer than a lot of people seemed to be to their brother or sister, but Isabelle didn't care about that either. She just wanted to be there for him, to give him the world, ultimately. She was never going to stop worrying about him, but she was also incredibly proud of how far he had come, and all on his own; after she'd found out about his illness, Isabelle had been prepared to give him some time to just process and be, but he'd wanted to start training, going to school, and there was no way in hell that she was going to stop him doing that if it was what he wanted. She would, after all, give him anything that he wanted, and maybe she fussed too much, she was too much like a mother to him, but did that matter? Isabelle looked after him, she worried about him, because she wanted him to thrive. He was doing that already. It was amazing, and she was so proud.

She was still going to bring him groceries, though, because Isabelle was pretty sure that she was incapable of leaving him to fend for himself entirely, and it wasn't like she'd gone out of her way to come over here, since she'd have been coming anyway to pick up her things. It wasn't as though her apartment was right next door to Jason's, or anything, she had to get the subway over, but that was okay, and she'd kind of hoped that she and Noah could hang out for a little while, if he was in. She wasn't disappointed to see his friend, though; honestly, she thought it was great that he had a friend he liked enough to ask to hang out, because he'd left a lot of people behind in Albany, and Isabelle was never going to mind getting to know the people in her brother's life. If they were important to him, they were important to her. She nodded, folding the paper bag up once it was empty, opening the fridge to start putting things away – and making a face as she picked up a packet of something that was definitely past its best, throwing it away. Yeah, that needed to go. “Thanks for that, we really appreciated it,” she replied, and she could have found a way to go get it, she was sure, but the fact that someone had brought it over definitely made it easier on her, when Isabelle had had enough to worry about with Noah being in hospital anyway. She smiled. “Good things, I hope. It's good to meet you too.”

tag: adrian ; words: 613 ; notes: <33
ADRIAN MORGAN
Posted: Apr 4 2012, 08:57 AM


TWENTY-THREE | CYN
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Group: NEW YORK CITY
Posts: 73
Member No.: 123
Joined: 28-December 11



I'LL WAIT HERE, YOU'RE CRAZY
THOSE VICIOUS STREETS ARE FILLED WITH STRAYS
›phony people come to pray. look at all of them beg to stay. phony people come to pray.‹

Even as a kid, Adrian hadn’t really had a lot of friends. He had a few, but he didn’t remember if he had ever been really close to them either. Perhaps in elementary school when everything was a lot simpler to him, he had. There were people that he hung out with and had wanted to play with, but as he got older, that started to change. He didn’t care as much about other people, because his life at home was consistently disappointing. He was used to feeling let down and didn’t want that to transfer into his school life. In high school, he hadn’t gotten along with everyone and had been in plenty of fights. He managed to graduate, despite wanting to give up countless times and he had people he might have hung out with but nothing solid. He hadn’t been bullied, at least. But that was also because if someone tried he would have been delivering punches in half a second. He didn’t want to be fucked with that way and wouldn’t be. He fought a lot in high school and he still fought plenty. Violence was a part of his life. But, it was also the only language that some of the people he sold to knew how to speak. If he threatened them with physical violence, then they listened. Some people took a lot to pay up. And a lot of the people he hung around weren’t opposed to violence, so it was only natural that sometimes fights broke out and he couldn’t help that. He had no problem with getting aggressive, though he would rather not fight people who were ten times bigger than he was. He would give it his best, but he didn’t like getting his ass kicked and he’d been jumped quite a few times. It sucked, but he moved on.

Although he didn’t usually care too much about what other people thought of him, he didn’t want to make a bad impression on Noah’s sister. She seemed all right and he did like hanging out with Noah. He might not have been the closest friend he could get and he was a horrible influence, but he still liked that he had someone to spend time around. He was a cool guy and he had no intention of offending his sister. Hell, Adrian didn’t go out of his way to piss people off. It happened sometimes, yeah. But, it wasn’t what he wanted to do at every turn. He was capable of being nice to a stranger. Just because he didn’t know someone didn’t mean he was going to be a complete ass. Actually, it was usually people that he did know that he turned into a jackass around. That was just the truth of it. Once someone got on his bad side, he didn’t hold back. Some people he couldn’t get along with for the life of him though. And he couldn’t help if they sucked bad enough that his opinion had to be low. Some people just deserved what he thought of them. “It wasn’t a problem, really. I’m just glad he got on the mend.” He replied. Then with a chuckle, he nodded. “You don’t have anything to worry about. It’s only been great things.” He assured her and really he hadn’t heard anything bad about Izzy at all. And he didn’t expect to. He was obviously close to his sister and honestly, he understood that. After all, he was close to his brother, probably more than a lot of people were. He was the only person he relied on, so he imagined other people were similar with their siblings sometimes.

made by cupcakesss of Caution 2.0
♔ ISABELLE REID
Posted: Apr 8 2012, 01:33 PM


TWENTY-FIVE | BECCASAUR
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Group: NEW YORK CITY !
Posts: 745
Member No.: 15
Joined: 27-May 11



Isabelle couldn't imagine her life without being as close to her brother as she was. Sometimes they didn't talk for a while, sure, she'd had a few weeks after she'd found out that he was using the money she gave him to buy drugs that she'd been so frustrated and upset and worried about what he was doing that she'd not spoken to him, but she'd gotten over it, because at the end of the day, it was Isabelle's job to look after him. He didn't need looking after, really, he was twenty-two, for crying out loud, but she felt as though it was something she had to do, regardless. Maybe she acted too much like his mother, maybe she worried and fussed too much, maybe she was a little too over-protective, but come on, he was her baby brother. Who wouldn't do that? A lot of people, it seemed, because it had taken Isabelle a long time to work out that not everybody looked after their siblings as much as she did, but she didn't care, either. Sure, sometimes Noah told her that she worried too much, or that she needed to relax a little, but she liked that they were close. He had been her only friend for a very long time, and while that wasn't true anymore, he was still the one person she knew she could trust more than anyone else. She was still the one person she knew wouldn't hurt her. Not directly; his drug use had hurt, finding out that he was HIV positive had broken her heart, but that wasn't the same as him outright hurting her through his words or his actions. And he was doing so much better now; he was at school, he was working hard, he was playing hockey again, and he even had a friend that he was happy to have round. That was good, and it made Isabelle proud. That was probably something that a parent should have said, too, but again, she didn't care. She loved looking out for him, there wasn't a single thing she wouldn't have done for him. She felt sorry for the people who weren't as close to their siblings, honestly.

She liked that they were living in the same city, too. They might not really have been living together anymore, now that she was spending almost all of her time at Jason's, but he was close – they could hang out, she could hear more about his life, and yes, okay, it meant that she could keep an eye on him too, but she did it for his own good. She wasn't going to stop worrying about him, after all, so it made sense. This call hadn't been Isabelle checking up on her brother; she might have brought him food just in case, but she really had dropped by to pick up some things. Almost everything she needed was at Jason's now, and she certainly struggled for clothes when she ended up back here for a few nights, all of her decent things hanging in his closet – however reluctant she had been to accept said clothes – but every now and again, she realised that she wanted something that was still in her wardrobe here, or tucked in boxes at the back of the closet, so that Noah had space for his things in the drawers in the bedroom. And, after all, this was still her apartment; she was entitled to drop by, and she'd brought offerings of food in case he didn't like her interruption, so she thought it was all good, really. Adrian was unexpected, but not necessarily an unpleasant surprise; honestly, she was just glad that her brother was making friends again, after leaving Albany, and from what she could tell from these few minutes, plus the fact that he'd brought the bike back, he seemed like a nice guy. “Thanks, me too. I was really worried for a while.” Being told that Noah was in hospital really was the last thing that she wanted, ever. She smiled, closing the fridge. “I'm glad to hear it. I didn't want to have to convince you that I'm not as terrible as he makes out,” she joked, opening a cupboard to get out a glass. “Can I get you anything to drink?”

tag: adrian ; words: 723 ; notes: <33
ADRIAN MORGAN
Posted: Apr 18 2012, 06:08 AM


TWENTY-THREE | CYN
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Group: NEW YORK CITY
Posts: 73
Member No.: 123
Joined: 28-December 11



I'LL WAIT HERE, YOU'RE CRAZY
THOSE VICIOUS STREETS ARE FILLED WITH STRAYS
›phony people come to pray. look at all of them beg to stay. phony people come to pray.‹

Adrian knew that not everyone had the same experiences with family that he had. Not everyone was going to trash talk their parents with a foul mouth and so much anger behind it. Especially when one of those said parents was dead and gone and usually people were careful not to speak too ill of the dead. He didn’t buy into that, because if she wasn’t dead, maybe he would say better things. She wouldn’t have proven to be a worthless junkie that didn’t give a shit about him if she was alive. He knew some people had happy lives with awesome families and friends that they cared about above all else. And good for them, they should have it if they wanted it. But, it wasn’t what the cards laid out for him. He didn’t live in the same world that made it easy to trust people. He lived in one where he didn’t think that trust would ever come easy. He didn’t get himself so attached to people that he would sign away his life or anything like that. He always kept somewhat of a distance, because it was all that he knew how to do. If he got too close, it could end badly and he didn’t want that. He just wanted to live his life without having to worry about people screwing him over at every turn. He didn’t want to invest his trust in someone and have them shatter him because people were disappointing like that. And he might have made sure people knew that he was tough and not someone to fuck with, but he was still human. He still had feelings that could be crushed if he let someone in that far. But he didn’t. He had a brother that looked out for him and made sure he didn’t get himself killed and that was good enough for him. If something ever happened where he lost that, he didn’t know what he would do. He didn’t have anyone else and so the idea of being that alone scared him. He didn’t know that he would last long. His lifestyle would catch up with him and he probably would turn out to be less tough than he hoped. He might be street smart, but he didn’t know if he had what it took to be on his own completely. He needed the occasional advice and visit with food to make sure his cabinets didn’t turn barren on him.

That didn’t mean he couldn’t carry a friendship though, it just didn’t hit a level that was going to break him if it ended. Like now, he enjoyed hanging out with Noah. The two clicked and got along and he didn’t mind running his bike back when he was in the hospital and he had been genuinely concerned. But, at the same time, he wasn’t going to be torn down if they weren’t friends again and Adrian wasn’t going to think much of pushing him down a road that he might not want to be on. At the end of the day, he was still a drug dealer and still in a world that wasn’t going to warrant him to be the best influence. But, he felt like the friendship was going over well. He liked being able to hang out with people, because honestly, he wasn’t too fond of being alone. He was sometimes, because he lived alone. But he was more comfortable with noise and people around. It didn’t matter if he was close to them; he just liked to be around other people. Maybe he was just too social that way. Silence gave him room to think and he didn’t care much for that. The more that he had to lose himself in his thoughts, the worse that it was. He would much rather ignore his wandering mind as much as possible. It was better just to have a good time. “Yeah,” he agreed and he had been worried about Noah, and it was great to see that he was doing all right. He didn’t hope that people fell into health issues or were hurt; he wasn’t like that. “You lucked out. I’ve only heard awesome things about you. You guys seem pretty close.” He commented, then at the question considered. “You got soda in there?”

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♔ ISABELLE REID
Posted: Apr 21 2012, 10:44 AM


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Isabelle didn't get to see her parents an awful lot, now; they were up in Philly, she was here, and it might not have been that far away, she could even get the train there and come back the same day, if it came to it, but she worked a lot, and even now, when she was doing that less, she still had other things to do. It wasn't like she could ask Jason to come with her, really, as much as she might have wanted to; he wasn't her boyfriend, and some kind of meeting the parents thing just wasn't on the cards, in her mind. It sucked, because she was sure that he would absolutely charm them, but it was the way that things were, just as she doubted that she'd ever meet his. They weren't a couple, therefore those kinds of things didn't happen, end of story. Honestly, Isabelle knew that she should have visited her parents more, but with work and the things that she wanted or needed to here, she didn't get much of a chance to do so – holidays were the times when she did, really, and she felt bad, but she was sure that they appreciated how hard she had to work, too. If she hadn't worked her ass off, she wouldn't have been able to afford a better house for them, and maybe most kids didn't just buy their parents a house, but Isabelle had wanted to, more than almost anything else. She'd given them the budget, and some suggestions of ones that had seemed nice on paper, and told them to call her when they'd decided, and she'd sort it all out; she'd been saving a long time to be able to do that, but she'd do it again in a heartbeat, because her mom and dad hadn't had very much at all when she'd been a kid, and now that she had the money to make that different, Isabelle wanted to, so badly. She still sent them money every month, and would probably continue to do so for the rest of their lives. She had it, after all, she didn't know what else she was going to do it, but save and spend it on her few expenses.

Yes, yes, she knew that she was too frugal, that she was, apparently, supposed to treat herself occasionally, although she could never think of anything that she needed, so there wasn't really much point, but it wasn't as though she'd had to buy clothes for herself since Christmas, and if she told him about them in advance, Isabelle was pretty sure that Jason would attempt to pay for her hair appointments too, or her yoga classes (and she knew how appreciative he was of those), but she didn't want him to do that. Honestly, she didn't want him to buy her anything at all, it was always far, far too much, but however much she tried to argue – and Isabelle tried a whole lot – he never listened to her. It was frustrating, because she was perfectly capable of buying things herself, he didn't need to be spending hundreds of dollars just to get her a new dress, but though she would always voice her protestations, he always seemed to win, somehow, and she'd be wearing it before she knew it. It wasn't like they were bad clothes, because actually, they were gorgeous ones, even though Isabelle would never understand spending that much money on an item of clothing and she had zero fashion sense, but she just was uncomfortable having that much money spent on her. She couldn't stop him, though; he always seemed to find a way to manage it, and she didn't really want to argue because they had enough fights as it was, didn't they? “I'm glad to hear it,” she replied with a smile; Noah was welcome to tell his friends anything he liked about her, but she was glad that he didn't seem to be too annoyed with her behind her back. “Yeah, we are. It's nice.” She couldn't imagine being any different, honestly. “Sure, no problem,” she added, getting him a soda and pouring herself some juice before heading over to the couch, holding his drink out to him as she took a seat.

tag: adrian ; words: 721 ; notes: <33
ADRIAN MORGAN
Posted: Apr 24 2012, 11:31 PM


TWENTY-THREE | CYN
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Posts: 73
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Joined: 28-December 11



I'LL WAIT HERE, YOU'RE CRAZY
THOSE VICIOUS STREETS ARE FILLED WITH STRAYS
›phony people come to pray. look at all of them beg to stay. phony people come to pray.‹

Adrian didn’t think that he lacked anything by not having living parents anywhere within reach. If his dad was alive, he didn’t know how the bastard was, so it wasn’t a big deal. He was twenty-three anyway, It wasn’t as if he needed his parents for anything. They were gone and he was all right with that. Or, at least, he liked to say he was okay with it. He had never been okay with his mom dying. He buried it under anger and hatred for the woman, but he hadn’t been okay with it when he was a kid and he really wasn’t that okay with it now. There were a lot of aspects of his life that he didn’t like, but he made up for it by having a good time and living the life that he wanted to. Sure, a lot of it came from looking up to his brother, but he did things for himself. Hell, he went to school because he wanted to and not because his brother had ever tried that before him. Once he was done with high school, that was it. His brother hadn’t gone back or done anything else to make himself a legitimate member of society. But, he still took care of him and that counted a lot to Adrian. He wouldn’t have been where he was now if it wasn’t for him. And some might have thought that was a good thing, but frankly, it could have been a lot worse. He could have grown up even worse than he was now if he hadn’t stepped up to the plate. There was no telling where he might end up if his brother had refused to take care of him. The system was shaky that way and Adrian was glad that he made it to eighteen with his brother watching over him. And technically, he was still there for him and although he was more independent now, he liked having someone that he could go to when he fucked up or when something bad happened.

He might have made a big deal about being out for himself and knowing that few people had his back, but it was nice to know that there was someone that gave a damn about him a little bit. He didn’t think that he needed it and he might not have expressed it very well, but it was something that everyone seemed to need in some way. And Adrian didn’t have it with anyone else. He had good friends, but expected that they weren’t going to be any good for him in the end and that they would turn on him to better themselves in a heartbeat. They all would do it. So, it was great while it lasted, but nothing really lasted all that long. He’d known some people since he was a kid and had stayed friends with them on some level, but it didn’t mean that he trusted them no matter what or was going to get sentimental about them. He was quicker to push people away than to embrace them, or to hook them onto some kind of substance and then blame them when they ran out of cash to pay up. Their addiction wasn’t his fault. It was their own for giving into it. He just needed to make the money. And now, he had more money than he had growing up. As a kid, he never had really nice things and his clothes had been worn out and used over and over again—most of which were passed down by his brother anyway. Now, most of his were new; not expensive mind you. They were still cheap, but they weren’t hand-me-downs with tears in them. And he had a good apartment with a few luxuries here and there that he didn’t have to steal. He was never going to be wealthy or understand the wealthy, really. Or the sense of entitlement that seemed to come with people who had a lot of money. “That’s awesome. It’s cool that you guys are close.” Some siblings weren’t all that close at all, though it was something he never quite understood since he was close to his own. “Thanks.” He said, taking the soda.

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♔ ISABELLE REID
Posted: Apr 26 2012, 04:12 PM


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Isabelle couldn't imagine her life without her little brother in it. Oh, he was a pain in her ass, sometimes, especially with his drug problem, and he could be just as stubborn as she was when it came to trying to get him to do something he didn't particularly want to do – Reids were stubborn, it seemed, it was just genetics – but she loved him a great deal, and she would have done absolutely anything for him. She didn't mind that she looked after him, she didn't mind that she was more his mother than their actual mother was—and that wasn't saying anything bad about her mom, because she was a good person, but merely the fact that Noah always came to her for help, and Isabelle was more than willing to give it, especially now that she was in a good position to do so. If he needed money, she'd give him some. She was paying rent on this apartment even though she didn't live here anymore, so that he had a place to live – and she had somewhere to go when she and Jason fought badly enough that she needed to get away from him for a little while – she was clearly still bringing him groceries every now and again, if only to make sure that he did actually eat fruit once in a while, and yeah, maybe she looked after him too much, considering that he was twenty-two, but Isabelle didn't really care. She liked it, she liked how close they were so close, and she didn't want to do anything at all to lose that. He was important to her, he'd been there for her through some really tough times, and Isabelle wasn't sure that she'd have made it through without him; in some respects he really did look after her as much as she looked after him, even if she was always going to be the grown up. She'd been an adult in mindset ever since she'd been a kid, really; she was mature, and she'd grown up fast.

She didn't mind that, though; she'd always been sensible, it was just in her nature to be so, and maybe she needed a little encouragement to let loose sometimes, but Isabelle thought that she was doing that a whole lot more than she had once done. After all, she wasn't working fifteen hours a day, seven days a week anymore, was she, she actually had something she wanted to go home to, she'd even taken a vacation recently and only caved and checked her email a couple of times, which was absolutely progress. She wasn't going to change overnight, that was abundantly true, but being with Jason had absolutely made her better, without a doubt, and she didn't really know if she'd had the same effect on him, but she was okay with who she had become, mostly. She wished that he let her work longer hours, sometimes, that was true, but that was the downside of dating your boss – he really did know what you were doing when you weren't at the office, and that meant limited time for her to work from home. Unfortunate, sure, but Isabelle would live, she thought, and it wasn't as though she was going home to an empty apartment anymore. She had people to talk to, things to do, he took her out places. It was okay, she thought, and she was happy with it – genuinely so. “Yeah, I can't imagine it any other way,” she agreed, and Noah was always going to be extremely important to her, and it would break her heart if they drifted apart, which was why she wasn't going to let that happen. He was one of the few people she'd drop everything for if he needed her, and she would always be there. She smiled and nodded as he took the drink, tucking her legs up underneath her on the couch. “Sure. Do you have any siblings?”

tag: adrian ; words: 670 ; notes: <33
ADRIAN MORGAN
Posted: May 3 2012, 04:03 AM


TWENTY-THREE | CYN
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Group: NEW YORK CITY
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Joined: 28-December 11



I'LL WAIT HERE, YOU'RE CRAZY
THOSE VICIOUS STREETS ARE FILLED WITH STRAYS
›phony people come to pray. look at all of them beg to stay. phony people come to pray.‹

As much time as Adrian spent thinking about how much his life sucked now and then, he couldn’t imagine his life being any different from what it was. It was hard to imagine what his life would be like if any part of it was different. If his parents were in the picture, or if he had grown up in a family with more money and less struggling; these were things that he could think about, but really never could quite envision. He was used to the way he lived and because of it, he didn’t think that there was anything wrong with it nor did he think that he needed to start looking for a change. He didn’t want it to change, although, naturally, he would have liked more money and a few more luxuries. But, that wasn’t going to happen. Even though he had started school and was training to become a mechanic, he didn’t do it in hopes that he would better himself. There was a side of him that wanted a little more and that kind of wished that he could have that legitimacy in some aspects of his life. But, at the same time, he had no problem with being a drug dealer, living in the same neighborhood he did now with the same group of people for most of his life. He didn’t really think ahead that far though. He wasn’t in the habit of thinking about his distant future in the least bit. All that he thought about was the here and now and what he wanted then. It didn’t help to think about a future that seemed pretty damn hard to figure anyway. Adrian wasn’t going to be able to predict it and he sucked at planning too far ahead because there were never any other ambitions to push forward. Most of his life, he had looked up to his brother as a role model and it wasn’t as if society would see him as being the perfect model. He wasn’t, but that was fine with him. He wasn’t looking to be anything other than what he was.

Adrian liked to consider himself a realist. He knew where his life was and what he had to work with and he didn’t expect that to change. He might be able to live better than his mom did, but that was because he made a couple of better choices than she had. He didn’t look up to get above where he was born. School might help with that and having a real job could set him apart and give him something that was less illegal. For the most part, he just happened to like cars and he wanted to have something that was his and that he could say that he did for himself. It didn’t matter what became of it, frankly. Adrian wasn’t thinking about the bigger picture, because he rarely ever thought about that. It was better to just live in the moment as far as he was concerned. There wasn’t a lot of need to stress out over what was going to come in the distant or not-so-distant future. “I get that.” Adrian wouldn’t have wanted to have any other relationship with his brother either. It was great to have at least one person that he could be close to. He tried not to think that he was completely dependent, because he did figure out how to be on his own, but he wasn’t at all ashamed of being close to his older brother. That was better than putting his trust into someone that was going to turn on him in a heartbeat. And Adrian had no doubt that people would do that without a second thought. With Noah, he didn’t expect him to do anything and it was nice having a friend. Though, it didn’t mean that they could trust each other with anything and everything. He was, however, glad to have made him as a friend. “Yeah, I’ve got an older brother. We’re pretty close too.”

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♔ ISABELLE REID
Posted: May 5 2012, 11:56 AM


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Isabelle didn't know when she had become the responsible one in the family; she'd always looked after her brother, watching him while their parents worked when they'd been young, that was just a fact. She'd helped him with his homework, she'd done everything she could to make sure he had the things that he wanted, even if that meant that she had to do without something, she'd looked after him and been there for him, just as he had been there for her, and Isabelle didn't know what she would have done without him, because he might have just been a kid, but there were times when he was far more mature than she remembered to give him credit for. His life might not have been as big a hell as hers had, when they'd been little, but he still knew what it was like to struggle, and Isabelle wanted to do everything in her power to make sure that he never had to struggle again. She knew that things were tough for him, at the moment, with the drugs and the illness, but she was so proud of the fact that he was going to school despite that, and of course she was going to support him through that, and buy him the things that he wanted. She had the money, and she would have given Noah the world if she could have done so. She'd settle for buying him hockey gear and video games, and paying for his schooling and medical bills instead, though, it seemed like a fair trade, and sure, the latter two were extremely expensive, but it wasn't as though Isabelle spent all her money on herself, or anything. Noah was worth it. And she looked after her parents too; they'd spent her entire childhood working as many jobs as possible, and now that she had money, if she needed to foot their bills every once in a while, then she would. They didn't want her to support them entirely, but she could make sure that they had a chance to enjoy life, too. Buying them a house for Christmas, well...perhaps it had been a little extravagant, but Isabelle could afford it. She wanted to look after them, after all of them, now that she had the means to do so.

Looking after people was just something that she enjoyed doing, and Isabelle didn't know why that was, but she was a caring person, and she wanted to make sure that the people that she loved were doing as well as possible—and if they were struggling with something, then she wanted to be there for them, even if the only thing she could do was hold them tight and stroke their hair. She knew for a fact how much it meant, just to have someone there, to know that there was someone who was willing to give up their time to be with you when you were struggling with things – because if someone was there when you were at your worst, then they really cared. Isabelle cared a lot about people, probably far more than they cared about her, but she could live with that, she decided; it was better to care than to feel nothing at all, and it broke her heart, sometimes, but she knew what it was like to have no-one at all, and sure, she was still lonely, but at least she had someone, she had something to go home to at the end of the day that stopped her working so many ridiculous hours, she had someone who made her smile and feel good about herself, someone she could just be herself around, and of course they had their issues, a whole truckload of them, but when things were good, they were really good, and it was that that Isabelle had to cling to, because when things were worse...it was hard to be there and care for someone who was resistant to having you around. “That's good,” she replied with a smile. “I don't understand the people who don't get along with their siblings.” Of course she and Noah fought sometimes, they disagreed on things, she had to be tough on him, but they were incredibly close, and he was the one person who had always been there. She'd have done anything for him, given him anything. “What does he do?”

tag: adrian ; words: 732 ; notes: <33
ADRIAN MORGAN
Posted: May 18 2012, 07:22 PM


TWENTY-THREE | CYN
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Group: NEW YORK CITY
Posts: 73
Member No.: 123
Joined: 28-December 11



I'LL WAIT HERE, YOU'RE CRAZY
THOSE VICIOUS STREETS ARE FILLED WITH STRAYS
›phony people come to pray. look at all of them beg to stay. phony people come to pray.‹

There had never been anyone in Adrian’s life that he had to be responsible for. He didn’t have any younger siblings; only an older one and he had been taking care of him as long as he could remember. There were never any opportunities to be the responsible one and so he never tried. Plus, he doubted there would ever be anyone that he had to be responsible for. He didn’t have anyone that was close enough to him and also unable to take care of themselves that he had to pitch in. And it was good, because he didn’t have the first idea of how to be that responsible. Adrian learned how to support himself and while he still had his brother’s help, he was self-sufficient and knew how to take care of himself too. He wasn’t completely dependent. Although, he didn’t know what he would do if for some reason he was cut off from that. He might not be reliant completely, but he still appreciated that he could count on him and that he wasn’t completely alone. It was nice to know someone was looking out and making sure you didn’t starve, freeze or get your ass too kicked when you got into trouble. There was nothing wrong with that. He didn’t think that anyone wanted to be completely alone and while Adrian had friends, he didn’t really have people that he could really rely on or trust if he needed to. As much as he thought that he could handle himself, if anything did happen, there weren’t a lot of people that he would count on. He had never been able to. He learned early that trust wasn’t something that could be passed around, even to family. His brother hadn’t broken it and it was the only reason that he trusted him. Anyone else, there was always a risk. Because, come on, he wasn’t stupid. If given a good enough reason, he would turn his back on a lot of people too. It was the nature of the world, really. At least most of the people he came across were out for themselves. There wasn’t a lot of selflessness to go around and Adrian really wasn’t selfless. There were people he would do things for, because he wasn’t a complete jackass or because he liked them. But, there were things he wouldn’t do too.

He didn’t know if he believed in real selflessness. It looked like it existed sometimes, but he wasn’t sure that it did or there were just people who put on a show to make themselves feel better about who they were. He really didn’t come across very many people who wouldn’t be out for themselves if they could be. And maybe he had a critical outlook on the world and people, in general. But, that was just what he’d seen. He grew up around people that were mostly out for themselves and he hung out with the types that weren’t necessarily out for other people. It didn’t mean that Adrian wasn’t going to help someone if they really needed something or if he saw something happen. He could be nice and he had the same common courtesy as anyone else. But, he didn’t understand sacrificing a lot for someone that he couldn’t really trust. Adrian wasn’t even sure he was the best at comforting someone. He never knew what to do, except for to try to distract them from their problems. Adrian was good at doing that, whether it was through drugs or simply trying to give out distractions or to talk about something other than what was eating away at them. He didn’t often know what to do when it came to situations of needing to comfort someone. It was difficult and not something he often found himself in the position to have to do. “I don’t know, I guess they just didn’t grow up close or something.” He didn’t know why some siblings weren’t close and others were or that some seemed to just fight more than anything else. Just that he had grown up close to his brother and he had taken care of him after his mom died, so it just came naturally. “He’s in sales. Mostly used crap and odd jobs.” He replied, and well, it was only half of a lie, but he knew better than to give the honest answer.

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