FIVE SONGS ON YOUR PLAYLIST:
Addicted - Saving Abel
Crazy bitch - Buckcherry
Last stand - Adelitaís Way
Sound of madness - Shinedown
Inside the fire - Disturbed- Optional Reason
FIVE FACEBOOK/TWITTER STATUS UPDATES:
Leave it to me to come down with something while I'm hungover. fml.
The playstation just survived a fall off the the tv stand, I'm impressed. And so, so lucky.
To the jackass that tried to jump me tonight, yours is coming.
No, me not wanting to sleep with you after you almost puked on my shoes doesn't make me gay, it makes you disgusting.
I'm going clubbing tonight. People need to fucking be there.
FIVE SIGNIFICANT EVENTS IN YOUR LIFE:
I was thirteen when she finally kicked it. And by finally, I mean Mom was a junkie whore that was going to get it eventually. Sheíd been in and out of trouble for as long as I could remember. I learned to check to make sure she was breathing nightly since I was about six. You never knew, really. Iím not trying to say anything negative about junkies or whores, honestly. Some of my best friends and biggest clients are both of those. But, I was expecting a little more from her. I needed her around. And I thought over and over again that she was going to change. She was finally making an effort. At least, I thought she was. I was a kid, so it couldíve easily been that I didnít know any better. I actually had a lot of hope for her. But, that hope didnít last. My brother found her one morning; overdose. I was still asleep by the time they were loading her up and taking her out. Canít say Iím not grateful no one woke me up right away. Itís not something Iíd want to remember. But sheís dead. Thatís it. To be honest, it sucked. And as much as I figure I shouldíve seen it coming. I missed her like hell. I loved her a lot more than Iíd ever let on. Her dying hit me pretty hard, but Iím not going to sit around and cry about it. I got by okay without her.
My brother as the guardian:
My brother and I have a five year difference. When Mom died, he was eighteen and it was good for me, because that gave me a chance not to get shoved into the system. I was happy at home. It might not have been the best atmosphere I could have asked for, but it was better than being shoved from family to family. And I wasnít looking to leave David. Heíd taken care of me more than my Mom had and I wasnít going to be separated. It took a lot of proof that he was going to be a stable guardian, but we made it work. Iíd looked up to him a long time before that. But, really, it was pretty damn selfless to stay back and watch his little twerp of a brother. I would have probably held it against him if he didnít, but I would have understood. God knows I wouldnít have wanted to be saddled with the responsibility of another person when I was eighteen. I donít even want it now. But, he took care of me, taught me how to survive and for that, I was pretty grateful. Though, really, weíre not a family of open gratitude and thank yous.
My brother was a dealer before I was. Iíd used before; recreationally at parties really. My teenage years were spent in and out of parties, and I managed to get myself into my fair share of troubleófighting, stealing, you name it. I was ready to drop-out at seventeen, but my brother kicked my ass into getting my GED before I said to hell with my education completely. So, I did it to oblige him. With school out of the way, it was him that taught me the tools of the trade. He was kind of the king of odd jobs and usually took on jobs moving and carrying crap around warehouses and plants. But, the main source of his income came from drug sales. He was pretty well connected by then and it probably got us by better than anything else. He taught me how to run things, how to keep myself from getting caught, the dangers of trying your own productÖetc. Basically, he wasnít going to have me being a lazy ass on the couch all day. That was six years ago and Iím a lot better and a lot more independent now. I donít get busted and I donít sell cheap crap out behind dumpsters. And honestly, Iím still surprised sometimes how much people are willing to give up for a high. Iíve not an addict; not that stupid. But, I like a good time as much as the next guy. Drugs changed my life, but not for the worst, itís getting me everything I want in life.
Iíve spent most of my life not wanting to do much of anything, except party hard, make money and do whatever I want. But, over the last year, I needed that to change up a little. I wanted something more and maybe just a bit more legitimate. I have a thing for cars, so I started to look into being a mechanic. It was within the realm of what Iím capable of doing. I got into a trade school and so far, so good. I actually have a future for once, which is a little weird, but nice. Nothing else has really changed for it. I still sell, I still party and Iím not about to become a legitimate good boy overnight. Thatís never going to happen. Lifeís too short to give all that good stuff up. But, it gives me something more that I didnít have before. I donít have a lot of skills that work in the real world. I can manipulate and talk my way out of anything and Iím good at making damn sure people give me money they owe. But, that isnít exactly legitimate. Besides, I like money and itíd be nice to be able to find my way around a car on my own.
HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT YOUR LIFE RIGHT NOW:
I live alone now. As of a year ago, I got my own place and Iíve been working on my own. Business is booming and it always will be. When everything else crashes, drugs really donít go out of style and people are willing to sell their children practically to get a hit. Itís pathetic, honestly, but itís more money in my pocket so Iím not about to complain. My apartmentís not huge, but itís nice. Lifeís been good to me. I hit a rut whenever some jackass decides not to pay up, but I know how to shove them around and lay on the pressure until I get my money back. Even if I donít get my own hands dirty, I have enough connections thatíll toss someone if I need it. But, sometimes, I donít mind doing the roughing up myself either. Itís a part of the job. Frankly, if youíre going to buy, you need to pay; itís as simple as that. Although enrolling in school has cut into the party time, Iím still in that scene quite a bit. I donít miss a good one and I can never stay home long enough. Most nights of the week, Iím out having a good time. School isnít my top priority, although I do make sure to attend enough and Iím learning, donít worry about that. I like to think Iím doing pretty well. I have my share of issues. Who the fuck doesnít? But, I have it so much better than some. And Iím not the type of guy thatís going to sit back and mope about life. Thatís boring and Iím out to have a good time.