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 not your average princess, adrian
♔ CAMERON WATKINS
Posted: Dec 31 2011, 01:41 PM


TWENTY-THREE | BECCASAUR
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Group: TOURIST !
Posts: 519
Member No.: 48
Joined: 7-July 11



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AND THERE IN THE BLACKLIGHT
Izzy had, apparently, decided to look after Cameron as well as Jay, which was why Cam was currently wearing a scarf and a hat and gloves as well as the thickest coat she owned, just to make sure that she didn’t freeze to death while she was outside – and she’d have been going outside anyway, so it was actually pretty nice not to be so cold that her hands were turning blue, or something, because Cameron always ended up forgetting her gloves. The snow had lost its novelty. It was great that she hadn’t had to go to Albany, and though she was still pretty sure that Jay was going to drag there at some point, hopefully he understood why she was so adamant that she didn’t want to go, now, and she was still hoping that she’d be able to persuade him to get their dads to come to them, instead, just because she was terrified of that stretch of road between New York City and Albany, now. Not that she particularly wanted their dads driving on it, either, or anyone...maybe they could take the train, or something. But as great as Christmas had been (and it had been really great), she’d missed her family, too, and Cameron kind of wished that there was a way she could have spent it with all of them, her friends and her parents and other siblings. But that was what happened when it snowed a load, she guessed, and at least she hadn’t been trapped somewhere on her own, because that would have sucked a ton, and being at the apartment had been pretty fucking great, actually. But she’d been going stir crazy, when it came down to it, because while she did sometimes stay at Jay’s for months, she didn’t spend the entire time inside the apartment not able to do anything at all, and she was so fucking bored, now. It wasn’t like going out was going to kill her, and maybe nothing would be open, but she’d at least be outside, burning off some of that restless energy she had.

She was actually kind of enjoying trudging through the snow, each step making a satisfying crunching sound, and it still surprised her to see the city so quiet; there obviously hadn’t been this much snow around in a long time, because Cameron didn’t think she had ever seen it grind completely to a halt. There were a few people out here and there, mostly those who had dogs to walk, it seemed, or excited children who still hadn’t gotten enough of the snow, and most of them were as bundled up as she was, because it really was fucking freezing out here. She was feeling better, though, just for being outside, instead of cooped up in the apartment with four other people, as much as she loved them, and the fact that she’d talked with Jay and gotten some things sorted out really helped too—or maybe it was just the fact that she’d slept for ages that was helping, after many nights of interrupted sleep. Whatever; Cameron wasn’t going to analyse it, the point was that she was happy being out here for a little bit, and sure, she’d probably be freezing by the time that she went home, and would feel like her nose was going to fall off, or something, but that was something that she could think about when that happened. In the meantime, she was content to wander down this street, staring in the windows of the closed shops; it was very unusual for them to be shut, and it wasn’t like she needed to buy anything, because she’d gotten enough clothes for Christmas to last her at least until February, but she still liked looking. Right now, she was looking at some evening dresses. Cameron’s general style was casual, jeans and t-shirts, albeit designer ones, Converse or Doc Martens, most of the time, but she adored dressing up, insisting that her brother take her to as many things as possible, she adored going out and wearing skimpy dresses with one of her hundreds of sets of heels, but she liked wearing long, flowing dresses too; she might have been pretty tomboyish, and she’d certainly never dreamed about being a princess, like a lot of little girls did, because her reality was far too gritty to be able to believe in something like that, but Cameron did like looking at the beauty of things like this. She might have had a whole wardrobe full of dresses, but a girl could look.

TAG: ADRIAN | WORDS: 767 | NOTES: <33 | ORANGE CARAMEL ! @ ATF
ADRIAN MORGAN
Posted: Jan 1 2012, 07:52 AM


TWENTY-THREE | CYN
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Group: NEW YORK CITY
Posts: 73
Member No.: 123
Joined: 28-December 11



I'LL WAIT HERE, YOU'RE CRAZY
THOSE VICIOUS STREETS ARE FILLED WITH STRAYS
›phony people come to pray. look at all of them beg to stay. phony people come to pray.‹

Adrian was tired of his apartment. It was boring, lonely and he was ready to climb the walls. It had been a while since he really saw much of anyone. His brother had been by on Christmas, to drop shit off and to stock his fridge with food. But, he also had other obligations that didn’t include sticking around Adrian’s apartment for long. It was nice to have him around for a little while though and he probably would have been around after, if it wasn’t for all of the snow. So, for the most part, he stuck around by himself, played playstation games most of the day and used his computer more than he had in the last several months, which was insane given that he actually used it quite a bit on a regular basis anyway. One of his neighbours in the building had come over once or twice to hang out and watch crappy dvds and when he had to, he braved the snow, if there was money involved. And while most businesses were closed for snow, Adrian was still selling, because people would brave anything for a high. Though, he wasn’t selling out of his apartment, so that meant he’d have to leave too. He wasn’t stupid enough to have that type of traffic in and out of his place. It would get suspicious and he’d probably get kicked out in a heartbeat. Right now, he needed to get out of that apartment. He wasn’t used to being in that long. Usually there was something to do, a party to hang out at—something! The cold air hit his face, but he wasn’t too sensitive to cold so he felt like he could tolerate it. He had a heavy coat on, but that was all, enough to keep him relatively warm while it was buttoned up. He tucked his hands into his pockets as he walked. Even though he much preferred the noise of the city, he caught himself kind of enjoying the silence out there. Usually, he was unnerved by quiet. He’d always felt more comfortable with noise surrounding him; not only noise but activity and life. But, this wasn’t half bad, albeit cold as hell.

Absently, he glanced at shop windows as he passed them. There hadn’t been anything overtly interesting that he passed and he couldn’t help but note how strange it was to see so much business shut down. Adrian didn’t want the snow to last for long. He wanted to get back to his life and away from being shut in most of the time, especially at night. It was too damn cold and nothing was happening anyway, not enough to pick up and leave. It wasn’t that he wanted to leave the city, by any means. Adrian rarely left the city. Everything he needed was there. He didn’t know that he’d ever leave for any extended period of time. Drawing a hand from his pocket, he fiddled with a pack of cigarettes, internally wishing he’d brought gloves only because he didn’t expect his hands to be that cold. The pack and lighter retreated back to his pocket once it was lit and he took a long drag from it, kicking snow as he trudged along. That was until he saw a familiar face ahead, one that made him not slow down but hasten up. Well, that was one way of meeting up with her. Honestly, he didn’t think it was his fault that people like her made him into a dick. He gave her something and she gave him nothing in return. Drugs weren’t cheap and they weren’t free. He gave it to her with every intention of receiving money back for it. He had bills to pay himself, not to mention nothing that he received was free either. And sure, he might have jacked up some of the prices when he met her, but that didn’t change that she owed him. “Isn’t this a fucking coincidence?” He called as he approached, flicking the cancer stick to the ground and stomping on it on his way. Honestly, he didn’t understand why people couldn’t just pay what was owed or not choose to buy to begin with. Okay, so he technically knew it wasn’t that easy. But, she didn’t strike him as the addict that was willing to do anything and everything for a hit. She just skipped out on payment and he wasn’t going to let it slide. He didn’t plan on being too nice, not until he got his money, then the problems would be behind him.

made by cupcakesss of Caution 2.0
♔ CAMERON WATKINS
Posted: Jan 1 2012, 11:17 PM


TWENTY-THREE | BECCASAUR
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Member No.: 48
Joined: 7-July 11



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AND THERE IN THE BLACKLIGHT
Money wasn’t really that significant to Cameron; if she wanted something, she told her brother, and he either bought it for her, or gave her the money for it (and if she didn’t think that he’d approve, she didn’t tell him what she wanted money for, just that she needed it). She had a hell of a lot of expensive things that she barely used, she wore designer clothes, she thought nothing of needing a new phone pretty much every month, given that it was always a casualty in her anger, or the cost of gas when she drove up and down the country. If Jay hadn’t had so much money, then she was pretty sure that her tastes would have been less extravagant; after all, Cameron knew what it was like to have nothing. Most people said that, and they meant that they’d only had one TV, and their parents had been so mean as to not allow them to have the latest version of the iPhone. When she said it, she meant it; she’d grown up in orphanages, in care homes and foster homes, with her possessions in a plastic bag, and pretty much all of those were someone else’s cast offs, anyway. She’d had no money, no latest games console or whatever, no family. And maybe she didn’t seem that way, now, maybe she just seemed like the spoilt little sister who always got what she wanted, and yeah, she was, but she knew what it was like to have nothing whatsoever, and if her brother wanted to spoil the fuck out of her, why was she going to say no to that? Jay told her that he loved her a hell of a lot more often than Cameron could say it back, but they still weren’t exactly the sort of people that were great with saying that they cared, and so she knew when he bought her things, or sorted out her debt for her, that he was doing it because he cared. She understood actions a hell of a lot more than she understood words.

And because money wasn’t a big issue for her, now, because she could just ask and she’d get it, and she had absolutely zero shame in leeching off her big brother, because there was no way that she could support herself, or the somewhat lavish lifestyle that she had become used to, it should have been easy for her to pay off the debt that she owed to the man who was now coming towards her. Quickly, Cameron considered just running, but she knew it was dangerous to run in the snow, and she already had one broken arm; the last thing she wanted was to have both of them in casts, because she was pretty sure that she would end up killing someone if she was incapable of doing anything at all. And, you know, the dick would find her eventually. If she’d asked Jay for the money when she’d actually needed it, then she wouldn’t be in this mess now, but then they’d gone to Japan and she’d forgotten completely – and that wasn’t some lie, she really had forgotten. And then she hadn’t had any money because she’d spent it all on Christmas, and she was already in so much shit with her brother as it was, without needing this on top of it. She still kind of thought that he hated her, if she was honest, and she knew that he was sick of her (she still planned to leave, but the roads weren’t safe enough to drive on and she was getting her cast off soon—but after that, she thought she’d be the other side of the country, worrying about him from there, if it meant that she saved him from having to deal with all her shit), but she’d cracked and told him, because she hated it when they fought, and she’d been utterly exhausted at the time, and he’d agreed to give her the money. That was her big brother, always getting her out of trouble.

But she wasn’t out of trouble yet, since she didn’t have money, since all the banks were closed, and she turned to look at Adrian, folding her arms defensively; he’d been a hell of a lot hotter when she’d been high and fucking him, and not actually a little afraid that he’d call in people to beat her up. “Fuck off,” she spat, stepping backwards away from him; not running, but not exactly wanting to be near him, either.

TAG: ADRIAN | WORDS: 762 | NOTES: <33 | ORANGE CARAMEL ! @ ATF
ADRIAN MORGAN
Posted: Jan 2 2012, 08:44 PM


TWENTY-THREE | CYN
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Group: NEW YORK CITY
Posts: 73
Member No.: 123
Joined: 28-December 11



I'LL WAIT HERE, YOU'RE CRAZY
THOSE VICIOUS STREETS ARE FILLED WITH STRAYS
›phony people come to pray. look at all of them beg to stay. phony people come to pray.‹

Money had always been an issue in Adrian’s life. He had been hyperaware of it when he was a kid, because they hadn’t had much at all. His mom had a heavy drug addiction, his dad had never been in the picture at all and they lived in a crappy apartment with other crappy down-on-life people that struggled to get by or at least struggled until their next fix. He’d loved his mom; he had, although he won’t ever admit to it. But, she let him down over and over again. There was never enough money for anything, whether it be clothes or food. They weren’t doing well. It was his brother who had taken initiative to make sure that they had food and were taken care of. His brother was the one who watched over his mom to make sure she stayed alive (though he failed that) and he took care of things where Adrian was concerned. There was no one worth trusting other than his brother and there really wasn’t anyone in his life that he was so close to that he would ever imagine trusting, really. But, money had always been tight, at least until his brother started bringing it in and it was just the two of them without the weight of their mother. Adrian’s entire way of gaining income was illegal, but he wasn’t starving and he was living better than he ever had as a kid. But, that didn’t mean he had the best of the best. And he was never going to be the guy that could afford a mansion and a muscle car. But, he had nice things now. He had clothes and he had a place with things that he couldn’t have had growing up. But, he also had obligations and responsibilities that relied on money. Every bit counted and when someone skipped out on paying, it bugged the hell out of him. And it wasn’t like a legitimate job where he could go sue their asses for it. He couldn’t do anything but rough them up.

Cameron had really gotten under his skin when she didn’t pay him, especially the more he figured out about her from their conversation. When someone didn’t pay him, it was usually because they really, honestly couldn’t get the money and they were addicts that couldn’t help themselves. Now, he didn’t pity them either, because they were addicts and he didn’t actually hold a lot of respect for the people that helped him pay his rent. Adrian used on occasion, but he was careful and he’d never tried anything that was going to get him hooked without fail. Not only did he sell the drugs, but he knew a hell of a lot about what he was handing out. And that was good, because if he started to become an addict himself, he would have wound up in a lot of trouble and he’d be taken down fast. But, then there were those people that could get money if they wanted or were somehow spoiled and just seemed to think that they didn’t have to pay if they didn’t want to. Or they thought the amount wasn’t worth making a big deal about. To someone that took money as seriously as he did, it mattered. And everything he sold, he had to make a profit off of, because he had to pay for what he could sell. “Yeah, unless you’re about to give me my money, don’t think I’m gonna fuck off.” He shrugged and he wasn’t, as he continued to walk towards her. Even if she backed up, he was going to continue to. Though, if she started to run, he couldn’t be too positive that he would actually chase. He knew that getting money now was probably out of the question. The banks were closed. But, at the same time, he wasn’t going to walk by without reminding her. And really, it was always more effective to have this kind of conversation in person. It was so easy not to care or to be brave behind a keyboard. While for some people, Adrian had friends that would go out and help him rough someone up (it kept his hands clean and some people that owed him could probably return the favour), but he could also do it himself. He knew how to fight—had been fighting since he was young, because that was the crowds he wound up with. He liked to think he was good in a fight and he could defend himself easy enough. But, he wasn’t really looking to fight here. Really, he would much rather be paid than have to push anyone around. It wasn’t his fault there were jackasses that just didn’t pay.

made by cupcakesss of Caution 2.0
♔ CAMERON WATKINS
Posted: Jan 4 2012, 11:07 AM


TWENTY-THREE | BECCASAUR
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Group: TOURIST !
Posts: 519
Member No.: 48
Joined: 7-July 11



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AND THERE IN THE BLACKLIGHT
Maybe money would have had more value for Cameron if she had actually had to earn it herself, if she’d been the one working long hours and doing hard things just to get paid, but that wasn’t her. She wasn’t either of her brothers, when it came down to it; Jay was the one she wanted to be like, the one that she admired more than anybody else, but both he and Zack spent a long time working, they took pride in what they did, and all that kind of shit that Cameron had just never found, with any job that she’d had. Sure, she might have liked them, she might have enjoyed whatever it was she was doing, but she also knew that it was never going to last; inevitably she ended up doing something dumb, she ended up fighting or stealing or yelling at some dickhead of a customer, and she got fired. It was either that or she got bored out of her mind and quit. Maybe all that said was that she hadn’t found the thing that she was meant to do, yet, that she’d yet to discover what it was that she really, really loved, and when she found that, she could make a career out of it, because she’d want to get up each morning and do something. But...she didn’t know what that something was, and honestly, she doubted that it existed. She talked a big game about how awesome she was at everything, and a lot of the time, that cocky confidence was what helped her through life, but Cameron didn’t actually think that there was something out there that she could spend her life doing. What the fuck was she good at, huh? The things she stuck with were illegal, or violent, and she was certain that her brother wouldn’t let her be a professional fighter, or something like that. Beyond that, yeah, there were things that she liked, but she was pretty sure that she’d hate them if she had to do them every day, she wasn’t smart, she wasn’t committed. She just didn’t care enough to make the effort, ultimately. She liked her life the way that it was—and if she didn’t attempt to have some kind of career, then she wouldn’t fuck it up.

That was what she did, ultimately, and maybe she just felt that way because she wasn’t in a very good place, right now, but Cammie also knew that she was twenty-three years old, and she’d never really been good at anything, not something that she could make a career out of, she’d never stuck with anything. If there was a way to fight and fuck for money without becoming a prostitute, then she would have done it, but there wasn’t. She was too late to do something like karate professionally, and she didn’t really have any other skills that she could think of. She could speak Japanese, but she still struggled with reading and writing it. She danced, but not the kind of on-stage dancing that people did. She liked riding, but she’d already been fired from one stables for punching out a client. She...couldn’t think of anything else that there was that she would actually be able to succeed at, and even if she could, then she had a criminal record longer than her arm, with all the times that she had been arrested, she’d barely graduated high school and had dropped out of college. She was not the ideal employee, Cameron knew that. And right now, she didn’t even want to get a job; she just wanted to feel better, less fucked up. She wanted to feel semi-stable, and curb that desire to run away, and stop making her brother disappointed in her. Those were more important to her than some job, since it wasn’t like she would ever starve if she didn’t have one. Jay might have given her lectures, but he also wouldn’t let her flounder, Cam knew that. He’d agreed to get her out of this mess, hadn’t he, even though he’d not been even remotely happy about it. “In case you’re fucking blind, all the banks have been shut,” she replied, coming to a standstill because there was no way that she was going to keep backing away like she was afraid. “I can’t give you your fucking money ‘til there’s somewhere to get it from.”

TAG: ADRIAN | WORDS: 738 | NOTES: <33 | ORANGE CARAMEL ! @ ATF
ADRIAN MORGAN
Posted: Jan 7 2012, 10:19 PM


TWENTY-THREE | CYN
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Group: NEW YORK CITY
Posts: 73
Member No.: 123
Joined: 28-December 11



I'LL WAIT HERE, YOU'RE CRAZY
THOSE VICIOUS STREETS ARE FILLED WITH STRAYS
›phony people come to pray. look at all of them beg to stay. phony people come to pray.‹

Adrian wanted better than what he had growing up, but he wasn’t looking to change his life so much that he was such a far stretch from what he was used to. He didn’t have any motivation to be wealthy or completely successful. He didn’t think that he would ever fit in with a different class than his own and he wasn’t looking to give up on what he did now. He did go to a trade school, after deciding that he did want something legitimate in his life. His brother had helped a little with that. Adrian always liked cars and he happened to talk about them quite a bit, enough that his brother had finally asked him if he wanted to actually fix them or something. At first, he had laughed it off. He thought that it wouldn’t be worth the effort, but then, decided why the hell not? He could do that. He knew a little bit about cars as it was and he did like getting a chance to learn how to make some kind of career out of it. He didn’t know how far it would take him, if at all, but it was a good start. He didn’t have big dreams, really. The only person he had to look up to was his brother and he did appreciate the type of person he was. He wanted to be a lot like him, even if that person was a drug dealer and never going to be much of anything outside of this life. But both of them were doing good; they had money, places to live and food in their shelves. It was better than what they had growing up and Adrian was grateful that he had a brother that had been there. If he didn’t have that, he didn’t know where he would have ended up. It was a scary thought, honestly.

He’d already ended up in rough patches, even with his brother around to look out for him. He’d been arrested on more than one occasion. Usually it was fighting or drug possession that got him. He was lucky enough that he hadn’t been arrested for distribution, since that was a charge that held a lot of weight and scared him just a bit. He had to be smart though. Not all dealers were. But, he liked to think that he was learning from people that knew what they were doing and after a few years of having done it himself, he knew how it worked and how to keep himself from landing his ass in jail with a felony under his belt. Prison wouldn’t have been a good place for him. He was tough and he could handle himself, but in prison, it was a whole different animal. Adrian didn’t want to consider what that would do to him. “Then I guess I’m not fucking off so easily, am I?” He asked. Now, he wasn’t going to try to force her to pay him right now when he knew that was practically impossible. The banks weren’t open. He didn’t expect to get money out of her right now. But, that didn’t mean that he wasn’t going to be an ass about it. She deserved it, after all. She was the one that had waited so long to pay him. She should have had the money to him long before the banks closed and made it impossible. It hadn’t been snowing like this for the past six months. She had no real excuse in his eyes. “It hasn’t been snowing since you owed me; this is your own damn fault.” Adrian reminded her. He didn’t have any sympathy for her. There were a lot of people with a lot of reasons that might owe him. It didn’t mean he was going to be a bleeding heart for every one of them. He learned not to be sympathetic, because the money meant something to him, more than the person that owed him. And yeah, some people had some real issues with getting him the money and he could be lenient if it was that fucking bad. But he saw nothing bad about her. To him, she just looked like someone who could have paid him a long time ago, but decided not to do it. There was no respect here and absolutely no understanding.

made by cupcakesss of Caution 2.0
♔ CAMERON WATKINS
Posted: Jan 8 2012, 11:55 PM


TWENTY-THREE | BECCASAUR
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Group: TOURIST !
Posts: 519
Member No.: 48
Joined: 7-July 11



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AND THERE IN THE BLACKLIGHT
Cameron wasn’t a good person, she knew that; she was angry and violent, she fought with people that she loved (and those she didn’t), she had a fiery temper and she was almost impossible to calm down. She was rash and impulsive, she had no attention span, she genuinely didn’t care about the rules and such of places and society in general; she’d been arrested more times than she could remember, she fucked people and then left without even giving them her real name, let alone an actual number, and she covered her lack of self-belief with obnoxious arrogance. She hurt the people around her, the people that she loved. She made them deal with her shit because she couldn’t deal with any of it herself, because she’d never been able to cope with things, with having responsibility, and Cameron hated herself for it. She hated herself for how much she put onto Jay, in particular. She was twenty-three, for fuck’s sake, she should have been able to look after herself, and instead, she still needed her big brother to do everything for her, and she appreciated it so much more than he would ever, ever know. He was her keeper, her banker, the one who got her out of trouble and who could actually discipline her. He was the only person who could calm her down, or make her believe in herself. He was the one person she wanted to be proud of her, more so than her dads, even—he was her best friend, and Cameron doubted that he even knew it. And then she fucked up, she made him disappointed, she needed shit from him, and she never gave back. She did things like this, forgetting that she owed a fucking drug dealer money, because she wasn’t supposed to use drugs in the first place, and he had to bail her out, again. She was so, so tired of fucking up, of being the fuck up in the family. There had to be more to her. She just wasn’t sure what that was.

She knew that she had good qualities too, of course; Cameron didn’t actually hate herself entirely, because she was far too awesome for that. It just seemed that since she’d gotten back from abroad, if she could do something wrong, she’d done it. Sometimes she went out and she knew that she was doing something that would make Jay mad at her, but she did it anyway, liking the thrill, because she happened to enjoy it. Other times, she was in too deep before she even know how she’d gotten there, and she never meant for any of it to happen. She didn’t want to be a bad person, she sure as hell didn’t want to be a criminal, she just...didn’t know when to stop, sometimes. She had no self-control, she didn’t think things through, she didn’t even appreciate the consequences until it was too late. She knew what the consequences of this meeting were going to be, however; she’d get mad, she’d yell at him, maybe she’d even fight him, but she couldn’t do anything more than that, because Cameron knew that she did owe him, and believe it or not, there was a sense of pride in there somewhere. She owed him, and she’d pay up...it just couldn’t be right now, because of all the snow. He’d have been wholly unreasonable if he expected her to be able to pay him right now; however much of a dick he was, she didn’t think that he would do that. “Blah blah, threatening, pay up, blah blah, I got it,” she replied, and she really did have the picture this time around. She knew that bad shit would happen if she didn’t pay him, she just couldn’t pay him right now. “I know it’s my fault, okay! I forgot and it’s my fuck up, but I’ll pay you. Stop harassing me.”

TAG: ADRIAN | WORDS: 656 | NOTES: <33 | ORANGE CARAMEL ! @ ATF
ADRIAN MORGAN
Posted: Jan 10 2012, 11:27 PM


TWENTY-THREE | CYN
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Group: NEW YORK CITY
Posts: 73
Member No.: 123
Joined: 28-December 11



I'LL WAIT HERE, YOU'RE CRAZY
THOSE VICIOUS STREETS ARE FILLED WITH STRAYS
›phony people come to pray. look at all of them beg to stay. phony people come to pray.‹

Adrian didn’t have the strongest moral code and he obviously didn’t give a damn about breaking the law since his entire livelihood depended on it. He was a drug dealer, on occasional user and had no problem stealing or throwing his fists into someone if he had to. He’d beat the hell out of people before, because they didn’t pay up when they were supposed to. In the same respect, he had had his ass kicked by people for numerous reasons. He wasn’t infallible and he wasn’t the toughest guy on the block. He had his ass handed to him before. He got into fights often enough, because the people he ran with were just as aggressive as he could be. Adrian wasn’t someone that anyone would really look up to as being all that successful, despite having money and an apartment and things that he couldn’t have afforded as a kid. He gained all of it illegally. He partied a lot, sold drugs, slept with whoever he wanted to whenever he wanted. He didn’t have this high moral upbringing or standing. He did what he had to do to get paid and to keep going. He wasn’t a fuck up, because there was no one looking at him to be more than that. His brother only expected him to be as much as he was and that wasn’t saying much. Now, he had the utmost respect for his brother and looked up to him completely. But, even he knew that compared to normal, it wasn’t what most people would vote as the best role model. Still, he thought it was. Because, without his brother, he’d be a lot worse than he was now. He didn’t know what would have happened to him. It looked pretty bleak when he thought about what could have happened if he didn’t have his brother around and willing to take care of him.

When it came to his money, he didn’t give a lot of thought to who owed him or what their situation was. If he did, it had to be a damn special one and Cameron wasn’t falling into that with him. She was just someone who had either forgotten or just didn’t want to pay him. And obviously, she had a means to be able to. She wasn’t some poor, drug addict without a penny to their name to put food on their table let alone money in his pocket. And while he didn’t have a lot of respect for them either and tended to see it as they put themselves in that position, he didn’t know what her fucking problem was. People like her seemed to think they were entitled or some shit. Adrian really didn’t care why he didn’t get his money. It was just a matter of getting it. Everyone went through rough times, everyone forgot something now and then, but he wasn’t going to accept that. He knew he sure as hell didn’t forget to pay people he owed. And for some reason, people thought that they could get by without paying him. Adrian could be nice to people. But, once they owed him money, all bets were off and he didn’t care how big of a dick he had to be to get what he was owed, as long as he got it. And sometimes that meant being physical, other times just the threat of it worked better. “Do you? ‘Cause I don’t know, you sound like you’ve got a pretty thick skull.” He was still pissed at her, but she deserved it. He was the one that was owed money, not her. And yeah, it was for something illegal, but that didn’t matter. “I’ll stop harassing you once the snow melts and I’ve got my money.” Adrian replied. “You shouldn’t even fucking forget things like that.”

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♔ CAMERON WATKINS
Posted: Jan 12 2012, 08:16 PM


TWENTY-THREE | BECCASAUR
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AND THERE IN THE BLACKLIGHT
Cameron had amazing role models in her life. Her fathers were brilliant people, and she respected them so much – which was why they could never find out how bad she was, because she didn’t want to disappoint them more than she did every time she went home and ended up swearing at them or breaking something or getting angry. They were gay and they’d adopted four children; you didn’t get much more impressive than that, really, given that so many people still seemed to be against gay couples having children – they’d given her a life, they hadn’t changed her, they hadn’t made her be this bad, nor had they made her be bisexual, it was just who she was, and she’d have been the same if she’d never been adopted, just that her behaviour would have been worse and she’d probably be in jail, if not dead, by now. Zack, too, was a great person, completely different to Cameron, but he showed her that working for something could make it worthwhile—not that she was ever going to work for anything, but he was still a good role model for her, she thought, and though she rarely said it, she did adore him; he was her big brother, and she didn’t love him any the less because she was closer to Jay. But Jay, he was her idol. He was the person she wanted to be like; he was the smartest person she knew, and he was always right, and he always knew what to do if things went wrong. He was funny and a dork but also really grown up, because he looked after her all the time, and he made Cammie want to be a good person. She wanted to impress her brother and be awesome and successful like he was, and the fact that she’d never be good enough to be like him made her sad, because her eldest brother really was the best person that she knew – and whatever shit she talked about him (and she did that a lot), she was the only person who was allowed to say bad things about him; she genuinely thought that he was the best person ever. She knew that she was like him a lot, unconsciously picking up his habits and tastes just because she had idolised him since she was seven, but she knew, too, that she wasn’t like him at all. She disappointed him, and Cameron hated that.

This was one of the worst things that she had done recently, though; it probably wasn’t as bad as running away when he’d needed her, and being too terrified to talk to anybody for a while, because she’d needed to be alone without anybody worrying about her, but owing a significant amount of money to a drug dealer was hardly a good thing, especially when she forgot about it and he started threatening her. She didn’t think that it was even that she’d used drugs, because she knew that Jay did occasionally, and Cameron didn’t think that there was anything wrong with it on a recreational basis, here and there, as long as it didn’t become obsessive; she wasn’t addicted, she was alright. She didn’t even smoke; sure, she drank more than she probably should, but that was about it, really. Fighting was her vice. And spending money that she didn’t have. And, apparently, getting into trouble. She was good at that, and the worse that she felt, the more likely Cameron was to end up doing something dumb. Like this. She had never claimed to be a sensible person, after all; Cameron knew that she wasn’t. She knew that doing stupid shit was kind of what she did with her life, but she wasn’t actually worried about anything happening here. If he didn’t appreciate that the banks were shut, then Adrian deserved to be beaten up. “Yes! I’ve fucking got it!” And she had; Cameron wasn’t going to forget this time. She had the picture, she knew she’d fucked up, she’d promised not to do it again, so she wouldn’t. “I forget a lot of things. You’ll get your fucking money. Now leave me alone, I was busy.” Busy staring into a closed shop window, sure, but that counted as busy, right?

TAG: ADRIAN | WORDS: 717 | NOTES: <33 | ORANGE CARAMEL ! @ ATF
ADRIAN MORGAN
Posted: Jan 26 2012, 01:31 AM


TWENTY-THREE | CYN
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Group: NEW YORK CITY
Posts: 73
Member No.: 123
Joined: 28-December 11



I'LL WAIT HERE, YOU'RE CRAZY
THOSE VICIOUS STREETS ARE FILLED WITH STRAYS
›phony people come to pray. look at all of them beg to stay. phony people come to pray.‹

Adrian had never had good role models in his life. His mom hadn’t been much at all. He never had a good thing to say about the woman, really. He had a million insults for her and had been so angry when she died. It had been about ten years now and he was still so pissed off at her for dying on him. He hated that she hadn’t been the mom he wanted her to be. He didn’t hate her, as much as he said that he did and he wasn’t as careless as he acted. He was angry with her, angry and hurt that he didn’t grow up the way other kids might have. Adrian had never liked that she put her habit above her kids. It hurt. And his brother had been the only one that was really there for him. He never had a dad. He just wasn’t in the picture and his mom never talked about him. Neither did his brother and sometimes he wondered if they were even sure who his was. Yeah, there was absolutely no good thoughts to be had about the people who brought him into the world. But, he had all of the respect in the world for his older brother, because he took care of him after Mom died. He taught him how to make money and how to keep himself alive and out of trouble. If it wasn’t for him, he probably would have been dead by now. Adrian really didn’t doubt that, but it didn’t mean that he had been the best of role models, not by most people’s standards. His older brother was a drug dealer also and even more rough around the edges than Adrian himself was. But, he cared about him and that was what mattered, because there was no one else in his life that he really trusted that way.

Friends weren’t something that Adrian had a lot of. He knew a lot of people and had a lot of connections and people to hang out with, but no one was so close that he could call them his best friend or could really trust them. He met people through parties, sex and when they wanted to buy something off of him. That was what he was to people and that’s all they were to him. Trust was hard to him. He’d seen how easy it was to stab someone in the back and he’d learned young that there weren’t a lot of people in the world that he could trust. And while no one had ever told him to do better for himself, he did try to do more. He was going to a trade school now and that was different from before. It made him a little more legitimate. But, he didn’t think he’d ever stop selling drugs either. It was good money and it was keeping him alive right now. He never understood the people who could pay him but didn’t or that claimed they somehow forgot. It was one way to make an enemy out of him. Adrian didn’t make it his life’s purpose to make enemies, but he did it because he had to. And when someone didn’t pay him, that wasn’t someone he wanted to be friendly with. It was someone that he wanted to push around until he got his money. It wasn’t fair that he was out money because someone decided that they had better things to do than pay up. For some, it was really a matter of not having any means to pay him. In that case, he was still a jackass about it, but he could sympathise a little better. With Cameron, he didn’t feel sympathy. “You’d fucking better this time!” He thought he was being easy on her, really. Or maybe not, given all of the snow on the ground. “Busy doing what? Staring at the windows? Or were you planning on breaking in?” The last was sarcastic, because she really didn’t look like the kind of person that was going to break into a closed store and try to steal something. Everything was closed, however, so he didn’t know what she could have possibly been busy doing. Unless walking around and staring at shops was busy now.

made by cupcakesss of Caution 2.0
♔ CAMERON WATKINS
Posted: Jan 27 2012, 07:08 PM


TWENTY-THREE | BECCASAUR
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AND THERE IN THE BLACKLIGHT
Most of the time, the fact that she didn’t know who her biological parents were didn’t bother Cameron in the slightest. Just because they’d fucked and had a baby, it didn’t make them her mom and dad, and they never would be; she hated them, whoever they were. She hated them, because her birth mom hadn’t just given up one baby, she’d given up two (at least), years apart, abandoning them both to the system of hell – unless you did one of those private adoption things, the foster care system really was hell. It wasn’t the better option in the slightest, and spending the first seven years of her life in it had definitely been enough to mess Cameron up for good. Maybe she’d have been a fuck up anyway, if she’d had a nice, stable home life from birth, but she was sure that the system had made her worse. Everyone was a product of their environment, and Cam had had to fight for everything. She’d spent her life fighting for control, just a little bit of control, and violence had been the only time that she’d had it. It was still the only time that she had it, because sure, Cameron went around doing whatever the fuck she wanted to do, but she still felt like her life was spiralling out of control, nine times out of ten, she really did. Things happened and she didn’t always want them to, and when things were going her way, they never seemed to last; she just...wanted things to be good, and stay good. She wanted to go a week without fighting with any of the people that she loved, or getting into trouble, or just—all the bad things that seemed to be happening lately. And sure, she knew that she was well off. She had money, she had everything she could have ever wanted. She had an amazing home, her family loved her, she had friends, she was snowed in with a whole bunch of people that she adored. But...Cameron wasn’t happy. Not beneath her always-happy exterior, anyway.

She sure as hell wasn’t happy right now, but that was probably something to do with the guy harassing her. She wasn’t actually afraid of him, because come on, he was only a little bit bigger than she was, and she could take down guys twice her size – admittedly not usually when she was wearing a cast – but yeah, Cam was scared of the seven foot, three hundred pound bodyguards he might send after her. She was scared of fucking this up even more, somehow, and making Jay even more mad at her, when he was already barely talking to her. She hadn’t meant to do this; she’d completely forgotten about it, in fact, and yeah, how could you forget that you owed a fucking drug dealer money, but Cameron forgot a lot of things. She’d had other things to think about, what with the awesomeness that had been Japan, and then the accident and being terrified and not sleeping and hating the world. That kind of took up a lot of her time. “I will, okay! I can get the money as soon as the banks open.” As soon as Jay gave it to her, and she was definitely going to be hesitant about bugging him for it; if she wanted to buy shoes or gas or a new phone, she’d ask without any hesitation. When she needed money to get out of trouble, she was always much more nervous, much more worried about making him mad at her. It was the last thing she wanted. She scoffed, giving him an are you stupid? look. “It’s not easy to steal a cocktail dress.” She knew; she’d tried.

TAG: ADRIAN | WORDS: 629 | NOTES: <33 | ORANGE CARAMEL ! @ ATF
ADRIAN MORGAN
Posted: Jan 28 2012, 09:03 AM


TWENTY-THREE | CYN
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Group: NEW YORK CITY
Posts: 73
Member No.: 123
Joined: 28-December 11



I'LL WAIT HERE, YOU'RE CRAZY
THOSE VICIOUS STREETS ARE FILLED WITH STRAYS
›phony people come to pray. look at all of them beg to stay. phony people come to pray.‹

Sometimes Adrian had wondered why the fuck his mom even kept him or his brother. Obviously, she was never in any state to really care for them the way he thought a mother should. He guessed since they lived past early childhood that she wasn’t a complete fuck up, but it still hurt that she was always there and yet not quite. He didn’t know how to pull her attention back to them and he never learned how. She had her addictions, her problems and it was what eventually killed her. To him, she had abandoned them in the end. No, he didn’t think that his mom wanted to die, because he thought she hadn’t. But, she left them to the world after making so many promises to be better. She always did that. He couldn’t count how many times, in the darkest times, she’d tell him that things would look up, that they would be better someday. She promised not to let him down but then did just that. She died on him, left him and his brother alone. And yeah, his brother had been eighteen at the time, but he really shouldn’t have had to raise his little brother up. It wasn’t fair for either of them. Though, he was always grateful that he hadn’t just left him or given him up. He didn’t have to look after him or deal it at all. They could have taken Adrian and he could have had some awesome life without him. But, at least it gave him hope that there was one person in his life that gave a damn not to fuck up his life. Trust really was hard to come by. There were so few people in his life that he could give even the smallest amount to. And if he was going to trust someone, nine times out of ten, it wasn’t going to be someone he sold to. It wasn’t as if he sold to the most responsible people, but most of them knew to pay up.

Adrian knew that he wasn’t the most intimidating guy around. He wasn’t very big and he wasn’t muscle bound like some of the guys he ran into, definitely not like the ones he sent out after people that didn’t pay him back. And not half as big as the guys that might have it out for him if he didn’t make sure that he was on good terms with his supplier. Luckily, it went through a bit of a chain and if he got into trouble then it was usually going to hit his brother first and then him. Adrian knew how to fight, he had to. And he could rough someone up and threaten their lives if he had to when he wanted money. Not that he would ever kill someone; Adrian didn’t think that he could. But, it was a good threat when someone really was throwing him to the dogs. It was good to have connections and friends that were more than willing to get their hands dirty by threatening and beating the hell out of people for him. Especially when some of the guys that bought from him were a lot bigger than he was. He didn’t need to get himself kicked around when he was the one trying to do the roughing up. And yeah, Adrian had his ass kicked now and then. He’d been jumped before, but he got out of most scrapes. “If you don’t, I’m not even giving you a warning,” he threatened. As she mentioned it not being that easy, he raised an eyebrow and looked towards the window, then back at Cameron. “What, you’ve actually tried?”

made by cupcakesss of Caution 2.0
♔ CAMERON WATKINS
Posted: Jan 29 2012, 12:27 PM


TWENTY-THREE | BECCASAUR
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AND THERE IN THE BLACKLIGHT
Cameron knew that her life would have been different, if her mom had kept her. She didn’t know how, because she didn’t understand what it was like to live with your biological parents, what it was like to grow up in one house, with people who loved you, and all that shit that the majority of people seemed to have without even trying, but she knew that things would have been different. She’d still have Jay as her brother, although they probably wouldn’t have been as close, and she didn’t want that. She didn’t want to be more distant from him, she didn’t want to be anything other than as close to him as she was now; she loved their relationship, even when they fought, she loved how he was always there for her, she loved how she could trust him with absolutely anything, because he was the best person in the world. But she wouldn’t have had Zack or Jackie, and Cameron needed them in her life too; they were her brother and sister, and nothing was going to change that. She wouldn’t have had her dads, and they were the people who had made her into a vaguely decent person, they were the people who’d given her a life, given her a family, given her everything. They’d calmed her down, they’d been firm with her, because they’d had to be, but she had always known that they loved her, if only because they’d insisted it even when she fucked up (and she fucked up a lot) and she’d probably be dead or in jail if they’d sent her back, or if they’d never decided to give her a chance. They’d helped her so much; these people were her family, not fucking blood. Blood meant nothing – except when you found out that you actually had a blood relation, that your birth mother was a fucking whore who abandoned two children, two of them – because family was so much more than that. Cameron believed that entirely.

This was her family, this was her life; she didn’t want to have been brought up by anyone else, and yeah, of course she wished that she’d been adopted before she remembered, instead of living in hell for half her childhood, but you couldn’t have everything. She knew that she wasn’t a decent person, now, but she was better that she might otherwise have been. She was calmer, she was more aware of the world and people around her, and she loved her family greatly. She didn’t love anybody as much as she loved them, because she just didn’t love other people easily. Cameron had absolutely been influenced by the way in which she had been abandoned, by growing up in orphanages, but that was life. She was who she was, and she wasn’t going to be able to change that, was she? She could try to be better, but it wasn’t really going to work all that well. She tried, she really did, but she was still a fuck up. Just look at this, at what she had done. Couldn’t really get more fucked up than this, could you? “If you hurt me, my brother’ll make sure you go to jail.” It wasn’t so much a threat as a statement of fact; she knew that Jay was pissed with her about this, she knew that she wasn’t going to be his favourite person any time soon, but she also knew that he’d never let anything happen to her. He never did. She folded her arms, her voice defensive. “I had no money. It was really pretty.” Of course Jay would have gotten it for her, but he hadn’t been there, and she’d wanted it then. She always did things on a whim.

TAG: ADRIAN | WORDS: 631 | NOTES: <33 | ORANGE CARAMEL ! @ ATF
ADRIAN MORGAN
Posted: Jan 31 2012, 09:39 AM


TWENTY-THREE | CYN
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Group: NEW YORK CITY
Posts: 73
Member No.: 123
Joined: 28-December 11



I'LL WAIT HERE, YOU'RE CRAZY
THOSE VICIOUS STREETS ARE FILLED WITH STRAYS
›phony people come to pray. look at all of them beg to stay. phony people come to pray.‹

Adrian used to wonder what his life would be like if he lived with a normal family; if he had a mom and dad or even just one of them, but had a normal upbringing. He wasn’t sure what it was like to have a parent that wasn’t saddled with an addiction or that didn’t give a flying fuck about anything except for her next high. Adrian hadn’t had that. For him, the subject of parents was a hard one. He didn’t even know if he still had a father somewhere out there and if he ever met him, he would probably punch the bastard in the face for leaving them. Though, he probably wouldn’t have been any better than his mom. In fact, he assumed that he was probably just as bad and they would have been no better off with him around. It didn’t do him any good to imagine a better life than the one he had and right now, it was awesome. He had everything that he could have wanted. It wasn’t as if he was doing poorly. He did better than his mom ever had and he was living beyond what he had growing up. He liked that and was grateful for it, but it didn’t take away how he’d been raised. Nor did it change how he saw people who didn’t pay him and made up excuses that sounded ridiculous. He had limited sympathy for people who he thought were just being self-important and bratty. If someone in designer clothing complained about money, he wasn’t going to buy it. How could he? He knew what it was like not to have anything, to be barely scraping by and if someone wanted to buy drugs from him when they weren’t making it, then maybe they needed to get their priorities straight.

He didn’t see Cam as one of those people that he should feel sorry for. The only reason he wasn’t worse now was because the banks were closed and that was actually a fair excuse not to give him his money. But, it didn’t mean that he wasn’t going to continue to try to get the money off of her or to make sure that she didn’t forget to pay him as soon as the banks were open again. Adrian didn’t want to be forgotten again. He gave her the drugs, she owed him money. It was as simple as that. The only problem with getting money legitimately was that drugs were illegal and he could be put behind bars for quite a while for selling them. But, he was smarter than that—or at least, he’d learned how to avoid that from his brother and from other dealers that weren’t so lucky. He learned fast how to stay street smart. So when she threatened jail, he scoffed. “You think I don’t know how to get out of that? Everyone threatens it and I’m still walking around. I know how to make sure I stay clean. Maybe you just need to fucking think before you buy drugs to begin with. If you don’t wanna get your ass kicked when you bail on paying.” He shrugged, because it sounded that simple to him. If she didn’t want to get into that kind of trouble, he didn’t think it was so hard to avoid. Of course, he liked to lure people in so he could get more cash. But, drug dealers were salesmen too. They had a product to sell and it he was going to do his best to get people to buy. But if they didn’t pay, then he would scare them into doing it. He stared at her for a moment at the confession then shook his head. “Why am I even surprised?”

made by cupcakesss of Caution 2.0
♔ CAMERON WATKINS
Posted: Jan 31 2012, 07:37 PM


TWENTY-THREE | BECCASAUR
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Joined: 7-July 11



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AND THERE IN THE BLACKLIGHT
Cameron was never actually lying when she said she had no money; she didn’t have any that was her own, and it was pretty much guaranteed that when Jay transferred five hundred bucks to her bank account, it was going to disappear pretty quickly – which was why he rarely gave her more than about a grand at a time, just in case, and told her to send him the details of shit she wanted to buy instead, so he could just do it. It had been different over Christmas because she’d had gifts to buy, and she got shit that she thought people would like, regardless of how much it cost, but generally speaking, she wasn’t allowed a lot of money in her account, she didn’t have a credit card with a super high limit, because she’d just spend it. She didn’t have money; her brother did. He bought her all her clothes, all her millions of pairs of shoes, all her new phones, every time she broke one (and that was a really frequent occurrence). It wasn’t like it was guaranteed, though; sometimes he refused to buy her things because she’d been a pain in his ass. Sometimes he only bought them if she agreed to do something that she had been avoiding because she didn’t want to do it at all, but bribery was pretty much a guaranteed way to get her to agree – what, she liked shoes. Sometimes he just said no because she’d bought too much already recently, or gone over her credit limit, or something else that had cost him a lot of money. Whatever. He’d come around soon enough, especially if she begged a lot. So yeah, she wore designer clothes, she had the latest phones, she had more shoes than she knew what to do with...but Cameron really didn’t have money. Everything had to be Jason-approved, and her brother was hardly going to agree to give her money for drugs.

It had been a dumb thing to do, anyway, Cam knew that. Sure, she wasn’t against using occasionally, but it was usually a friend giving her a hit, not actually going out and buying from some hot dealer. He’d been hotter when she’d been high and wanted to get out of paying him through sex, though. She didn’t like him, but it wasn’t as though she’d be against going down on him in some alley if she thought that it would help her case a little; he was still hot. Just an asshole too. Buying drugs had been really dumb, and she’d meant it when she said that she wasn’t going to do it again. She wouldn’t. She wasn’t that stupid. She didn’t need drugs, anyway...maybe they’d help her feel better for a little while, but it wouldn’t last, and she knew that Jay wouldn’t tolerate her using in the apartment. He’d already told her that when she’d started getting friendly with Noah. “Most people’s brothers aren’t the best lawyer in New York,” she replied; Jay really was the best, and okay, so he defended people mostly, but that didn’t stop him being the best. All the papers said so and shit. He was really famous...if you knew about lawyers. And yeah, she had a lot of faith in him, but she knew, too, that he rarely lost a case. He was definitely the best – in more ways than one. But she was going to pay. She was going to pay, and he didn’t need to send his fucking bouncers around to beat her into giving him money. She’d gotten the fucking message, thanks. “Dunno. But it was totally worth it.”

TAG: ADRIAN | WORDS: 611 | NOTES: <33 | ORANGE CARAMEL ! @ ATF
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