Are you ready to build a stronger relationship? Our weekly love tasks are designed to help you do just that! Each task is something each couple should do together. Complete one a week and watch your relationship grow...

Week 1: Love Pledge

When was the last time you pledged yourself to your partner? On a piece of paper write out every single thing you would like to promise to bring into a relationship with your current partner. If you are not in a relationship, you can still do the exercise by writing down the things you will bring into your next relationship. When your list is complete, circle one quality or item on your list you'd really like to focus on. Place your list somewhere you can readily see it daily. For the remainder of the week make every effort to improve the thing you circled!

Week 2: Changing Patterns

We all have our vices. This week make an effort to change one. Sit down with your partner and individually write two lists. The first list should be everything you like that your partner is doing right now. The next list should include everything you wish your partner would change. Exchange lists. Talk about what you wrote openly and honestly. This is not a time to get confrontational with your partner, and vice versa. Choose one thing each from your first list, and make a verbal agreement to continue to do it. Then, choose one thing each from your second list, and make a verbal agreement to each other to improve or change it. Set a time to talk at the end of the week about how things went.

Week 3: Mission Statement

Just about every company has a mission statement stating their purpose and what the company stands for. This is a great way for you, as a couple, to put into a few sentences what you stand for and what your goals are. To do this each partner needs to individually write down his or her thoughts or a sample mission statement. Compare ideas and start the task of creating the final version. An example of a short couple's mission statement follows.

We are dedicated to providing love, affection, understanding, commitment, faithfulness and honesty to each other throughout our relationship. By successfully learning to love each other as we are, we create a partnership that can and will resolve any challenges, obstacles or disagreements we may face.
When you have completed this task, you may want to have it printed on decorative paper and framed. Place it where you can both be reminded of your agreement.



Week 4: Lover's Code of Conduct

Similar in nature to the Mission Statement Love Task, the Lover's Code of Conduct is a set of clauses you both decide you will follow. This is very similar to creating a romantic contract with each other. Some examples of clauses might be never go to bed angry, always respect each other, express your love to each other at lease once a day, once a month have a planned romantic getaway, etc.

The clauses should be created by and agreed upon by each of you. To complete this task, each of you writes down 20 or so clauses individually. Then, decide together which ones will be in your final Lover's Code of Conduct. Once you've agreed on the final Lover's Code of Conduct, you should both sign it as a statement of your commitment to each other.


Week 5: About You And Me

For this love task we have decided to focus on getting to know your partner better. When we first introduced this love task, we were surprised to see how many couples told us they had learned about so many things they were unaware of about their partner. This was true even for couples that had spent many years together!

To complete this love task, set aside a good amount of time. If you have time, create a romantic atmosphere with candles and music. Make sure you won't have any interruptions as this love task is designed to spark conversation and open your communication with each other. Next, answer the following love questions openly and honestly with each other.

What is your partner's favorite...
color, food, place to go, movie, song, drink, relative, perfume/cologne, book, poem, school year, teacher, snack food, gift to receive, style of clothing, size, holiday, season, flower, candy, city, country?

Where was your partner born?
Where did they live most of their childhood life?
What religion, if any, does your partner believe in?
What was their most memorable childhood moment?
What was their big childhood fear? (for instance, the dark, monsters, etc.)
Does your partner prefer cold or hot? Why?
Is your partner a morning or night person? Why?
What is their biggest pet peeve?
What things do they feel passionate about?
What is your partner's idea of a perfect date?
What is their favorite romantic gesture?
What are the top ten gifts your love would like to receive?
What was the one thing they wanted as a child they never received?
Does your partner want children? How many?

What is your partner's idea of a dream...
house, car, vacation, job?

What did your partner always want to be when they "grew up?"
Is it what they are doing now? What changed?
Where did they go to school?
What is their life dream?


Week 6: Creating Us Time

How often do you find yourself saying you wish you had more time with your partner? I don't mean time sitting in a car together, going grocery shopping or eating together. What about time talking and sharing ideas, sharing jokes or just being together in an atmosphere that is "couple" friendly? If it's been a while then this love task may be your perfect remedy!

Once you've both agreed that quality time is something you could both benefit from, you'll need to decide on how to go about arranging this special time.

Oneof our favorite ways to create couple time is through a designated activity night. For example, some couples enjoy a weekly game night or movie night. On a certain day each week they play their favorite board or video games or watch the latest new movies. This could be expanded to a cooking night, puzzle night or any other interest you both share.

Another way to share couple time is to have each person alternately plan something to do. For example, one week your partner might plan to have a picnic in the park. The next week, you might plan to watch the sunset over a shared bottle of wine.

Remember, this time is YOUR time. It needs to be special to you both. For maximum benefit, your time together should be uninterrupted, at least two hours and at a time you both can agree on.


Week 7: Have I Told You Lately...

When was the last time you told your partner how you feel about them? The passing, "I love you" on your way out to work doesn't count. When was the last time you sat your partner down and told them face-to-face exactly how you feel? This week's task is about doing just that.

Each day this week make it a point to do the following:


kiss at least three times
have at least one 30 second kiss, or longer
compliment your partner on one thing
give at least one hug
say, "I love the way you..." about something they are doing at least once
ask them how their day went
wish them a good day with a good morning kiss
say, "I love you" at least three times

One day this week make it a point to sit down with your partner and tell them face-to-face how you feel about them. Make it extra special by planning a romantic evening.

Note: Some people find it easier to express themselves through the written word. You may want to share your feelings in a letter instead.

The point of this week's exercise is to tell your partner AND show through actions how much you love them.


Week 8: The Perfect Relationship

As a couple, it is easy to wake up one day and find ourselves far off-track from where we intended to be. At the beginning of any relationship we all have great ideals of how the future will be, but without the right plan it can be difficult to achieve these.

This week, take some time out to tell each other what you would consider to be your perfect relationship. Start by separately making a list of everything you perceive would be in a perfect relationship.

Some examples may include the following...

We both enjoy a sunset dinner one time a month.
He helps with housework when I need it.
She makes dinner every night.
We make love at least three times a week.
We always kiss before parting.
She asks how my day went.
He gives me a hug first thing when he comes home.
Make your list as detailed as possible. Add everything you think of, even it feels insignificant or silly. When you're done compare lists. First, look for common items that appear in both lists. Those should be the first things that are placed in the final list.

Then, talk about your other ideals and come to compromises or agreements as to whether to keep them on the final list or not. When you are done you will have a blueprint for your personal perfect relationship. Whenever things start to feel off-track, take some time to review your list together and see where things have changed from your original thoughts and considerations. It is much easier to see where things have changed, and communicate your concerns to your partner, when they are written right in front of you.

Week 9: Your Dreams And Desires

Sometimes when you get in a relationship, personal dreams or goals get put on hold. There are times when the choice is a conscious one, but many times they are not. This week gather your partner, a pencil and paper and your hopes and dreams. Talk about the things you wanted to do as adults when you were kids. How many of those things have you actually done? Take a few moments together and separately write down a few things you would love to do, regardless of how ridiculous or impractical it may seem.

Part of being a life mate is helping your partner aspire and reach their dreams. You are their backbone for courage and support when trying out something new. Now that you know what it is your partner wants, make a commitment to each other to help attain one thing on each of your lists. Once you both have accomplished these, choose another thing on the list. Revise your lists as often as necessary.

Week 10: Couple Time

The number one complaint couples share is that they don't get to spend enough time together. With busy schedules, kids, school, work, birthdays and more it is no wonder that today's couples are finding it harder to share quality time together. Unfortunately, if a couple can't find a way to make time just to be together, alone - without any interruptions, the meaning of their relationship can get lost.

For this task, it will be your goal to spend an entire day together uninterrupted. That means find a babysitter for the kids. Take a day off of work if you have to. Unplug the phone, turn off the T.V. and don't check your e-mail. In fact, do not do a single thing that you would normally call routine. Instead, linger in bed a little longer. Cook breakfast for each other. Visit a bookstore, and share a cup of coffee. Take a walk on the lake. Indulge in a romantic picnic. Eat dinner by the glow of the fireplace.

I know for some of you this may be hard to pull off. But, in the end isn't your relationship worth the time you put into it? Remember, constant reminders that you consider your partner to be first in everything you do is vital to the future of a relationship.

Week 11: Paint Me A Picture

Often we don't appreciate, or we doubt, the way our partner views us. When we look into a reflection of ourselves we can instantly pick out our flaws, physical or otherwise. What many of us many not realize is that the average person never even notices or knows of these flaws. So, we spend our time silently disparaging ourselves or doubting our partner's acknowledgment instead of living confidently and comfortably with who we are. This love task was designed as a way to get you started on the road to change away from this negative pattern.

On a night you can reserve a few uninterrupted hours alone together, grab a few sketch books, color pencils, two drawing pencils and some erasers. Sit face to face and begin to sketch each other as you see your partner. It doesn't matter if you think you can't draw to save your life (and you may be right!). Focus on the feelings you get when you see your partner. Try to capture what it is that makes you love them so much. If you choose you can color in the picture with the color pencils.

When you are done with the sketch, using the color pencils write 10 words that, to you signify your partner. Are they compassionate, forgiving, independent, strong-willed, amorous, playful, or seductive? Use this as an opportunity to really give your partner a generous dose of confidence boosting.

After you are done with this, swap sketches and talk about the love task or the sketches. If you really love your sketches, have them framed as a constant reminder of your partner's feelings of love and respect.