Kanaya Maryam folded her arms as she looked over the room she had just finished preparing with a sense of pride. All that time spent farming the necessary grist, all that time playing a massive game of trial-and-error with the stupid alchemitizer machines had finally paid off. A nice, decorative couch sat on one side of the room, facing a large and rather impressive-looking desk, with a just as large chair directly behind it. She had taken great pains to make this look proper and professional, as it should be.

She allowed a smile to grace her lips, her hands moving to her side. While sometimes it became of great consequence to her, she took pleasure in being allowed to assist others. It allowed her to prove to herself that she, too, could be a helpful person to those in need.

That's really what this was all about, right?

So therefore, Kanaya opened the door to her relationship counseling service to all who desired her to hear their problems, as they pleased.

Karkat was standing outside the door and glanced over when Kanaya opened it. He wasn't entirely sure why he was here. Oh right. She was one of his best friends and one of the few trolls alive who didn't annoy the everliving fuck out of him. Still, this whole relationship counseling thing was going to be really really quick.

"Hey Kanaya." He said with a quick wave. He didn't want to just barge in to the office without her permission. She'd probably think it was rude. "So I don't know where the fucking hell Gamzee is. Probably off basking in miracles or some shit, and forgot that we even had this appointment." He shuffled a bit nervously. He kind of wanted Kanaya to succeed at this but really, what was there to talk about? There were absolutely no problems between him and Gamzee. None at all. Nope. Just your average rage filled hopeless romantic acting as moirail to a half-insane, homicidal, dark clown god worshipper.

"So exactly what the fuck are we going to be talking about?" He said, attempting some form of a smile.

Kanaya couldn't hold back the cheery smile that graced her lips the moment the Karkat Vantas stepped through. Somehow, she knew that he would be one of the first people she would talk to this night. Maybe it was some form of thoughtful intuition, but it didn't take someone as relationship-savvy as Kanaya to think that Karkat had a few things to go over. It made sense that the Glorious And Completely Ruthless Leader obviously needed a private place to work over his clearly myriad personal issues. Kanaya supposed that place would be here. It filled her with satisfaction to see that her extensive effort would not be totally in vain.

"I don't think he would forget about something that is really kind of important." She mused, putting her pointer finger to her chin in a thoughtful manner. "Just wait for a little while he will come."

"I'm not fucking saying that he'd forget about this meeting." Karkat said, entering the room and tossing himself into the comfy looking couch. Almost immediately he sank slightly into it, the comfy couch attempt to devour him like some kind of plush, comfy amoeba. A few minutes of valiant fighting and he had bested the foul creature. "I'm saying that the spacey grubfuck might've forgotten he was Gamzee Makara. For all we know he might think he's a floating rock right now." He could practically see his moirail spacing out in the middle of his respiteblock, that deliriously goofy grin plastered on his face as his brain took a motherfucking vacation to the green moon and back.

"So, do you have any other clients coming in soon?" Karkat folded his arms. "I figure you'd get a fucking lot of mileage out of Vriska and her fucking pretender's hate." He chuckled. Somehow he just had to trick Vriska into coming here. That would provide enough entertainment for hours.

Gamzee wandered through the hallway, slightly dazed. He vaguely remembered his best motherfucking friend being angry about something, and he remembered Kanaya stepping in and offering help. At the time, though, it hadn't seemed necessary to Gamz. He had a comfy horn pile and a couple of bottles of Faygo - was there really a need for assistance?

But Kanaya had insisted, and Gamzee did value his friendship with Karkat... even if the latter didn't exactly approve of Gamzee's - well, relaxed - lifestyle. So, here he was, ready to enter relationship counseling. Or at least, he hoped he was in the right place. He had never been good with directions - some shrugged it off and blamed it on the fact that he was just a pretty forgetful guy. But he was plenty good at remembering things. His problem was paying attention to them in the first place. Gamzee hadn't really listened to Kanaya in the first place, so he wasn't entirely sure he was in the right hall, let alone building.

Gamzee's stomach had just started rumbling when he came across a door with a nice, ornate placard next to it. 'Kanaya Maryam's Relationship Counseling,' it read. Gamzee grinned a wide, lazy grin. "Well, motherfuck, looks like I all went up and found the place I needed to be!" he said aloud to no one in particular. His stomach growled in response. It had been a while since he last had a good pie. Gamzee had woken up from one of his Faygo-induced naps, and immediately noticed he was late, and left. No time for a quick sopor slime slice.

He shrugged it off, and open the door with a flourish - or about as much of one as he could manage.

"Heeeeey, motherfuckers! What're my best fuckin friend and jadeblood sister all up and doing in here?"

"Oh, hello Gamzee." Kanaya greeted the newcomer, a fresh smile on her face. It was always good to make the newcomers feel comfortable, even if others felt otherwise. And let's be serious, they wouldn't be here if they didn't have a problem. Just from this though, Kanaya was already able to tell it was Karkat who had the problem here. Gamzee, being Gamzee, probably just remembered that he had to be here, and it was by sheer luck that he even found the right place. This was probably something her nubby-horned friend probably disapproved of. But then again, he disapproved of a lot of things. Like humans, and himself, and a bunch of other things that he needed to think about. But while she would certainly help him with that at a later date, if he so desired, the concept of "one at a time" was present.

She pointed to the empty spot on the couch against the wall, motioning for the highblood to sit down. Upon the accomplishment of that, she cusped her hands on her desk before beginning.

"Thank you both for coming so quickly. She began, taking the professional stance. "Though I suppose you wouldn't be here if you felt as if you two really didn't have a problem to begin with." She motioned to her left. "Karkat, what seems to be the problem?"