admission of guilt., openn

[AUBREY, bertram]

Where would that city be? And it’s not an old man’s name. It was given to a baby first. Bertram’s my grandfather’s name on my father’s side. I guess he’s old, but he wasn’t always.-


Well, you have me sold. I suppose I’ll just add it to the evergrowing “reasons why I’m cool” list.


I don’t watch. My eyes glaze over as I plot how I’m going to get out of it.


Tell your grandfather that I said thanks. I’m using that excuse this summer.


I wouldn't imagine it would be so bad. I suppose all that yard work would be rather easy with your wand at hand.


You can do that. No need to announce it. By the way, taking a comment to heart internally is the same as vocalizing your discontent. I may not know about how it affects you, but the bottom line is that you’re still letting it affect you in a profound way, which I find either genial or rather sad depending on the situation, but always unadvisable. Then again, that’s me, so technically listening to this advice would be contradictory to the actual content of the advice. We’re talking about how you can begin to develop your own person and not be so easily influenced by what I say or do, despite your natural instincts to qualm to my good advice. Which is, ironically, more of my advice.
I suppose your test will be whether or not you regard or disregard this paragraph.


Why would I say "with my mother?" I’m not a pounce. Anyway, I usually laugh when my friends say something I find funny or someone does something embarrassing that they'll regret for the duration of their life. Why are you so concerned about when and how often I laugh?

"Subtlety is overrated" is a bit of an oxymoron, don't you think?
Are you sure? She's such a great topic of discussion. There's so many things wrong with her.



-Bertram

[WILKES, indie]

India Sola, now known as Quibor. Yes, but the name is old. Thus, an old man's name. I would suggest going by Bert, but that's an awful name.


<sub>Do you mean you can use it to begin your list of reasons why you are cool?

Was that one of your jokes? The whole eyes glazing over thing? If it was, it was mildly amusing. Congratulations, Bertram.

I'll let my grandfather know that you'll be using his excuse. On second thought, I won't. Because then he'll know we know and he'll stop using the excuse. And it would be so sad, since it's a nice excuse. Maybe I'll just say that you send him your regards. I think that would do nicely.

Because, the more you laugh, the longer you live. And I'm not actually concerned. I just want to prove to you that you don't actually laugh from true enjoyment of life. You laugh when someone embarrasses themselves. That's an awful reason to laugh. And, honestly, when does anyone say anything that you consider funny?
Also.
You have friends?

Again. I refuse to say anything about Alice Edgecombe for fear that I will never ever stop. And you know that once I start anything, I rarely stop.</sub>


indie lela.

[AUBREY, bertram]

Ah, I should have guessed. -


Bertram is one of the most popular names in the United Kingdom. It’s a very respectable name. It’s not awful. How can a name be awful? That’s like being offended by a colour, which I’ve always found rather silly. Though I agree, I don’t really like the name Bert. Most people call me Bertie, though my mother’s side of the family calls me Ben because of my middle name. I think it’s easier for them to pronounce.


At least I have that. For you I wouldn’t even bother purchasing the piece of parchment, because that would imply you would do something cool in the near future.

I found that to be one of my duller ones. No wonder you found it amusing.


Well, it’s rare, but at least it’s genuine. I hate it when people laugh just to make others happy. It’s a revolting aspect of a conformist society. Just because I’m not barreling around like some caricature on BBC doesn’t mean I’m not enjoying life.
That’s not an awful reason to laugh. I find people’s idiotic reactions to day-to-day scenarios very amusing. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that.


That would have been mildly clever had I not seen it coming from about a mile off, yet I still chose to say the statement that brought it on because I knew I could refute it. Yes, I have friends. They just don’t include the likes of you. It's not anything against you personally; I just don't usually surround myself with personality types resembling a pitbull tied to a chain.


Just knowing that there’s someone out there who doesn’t think she’s a pristine angel of lobotomized innocence is enough to keep me content for days. It gives me some sense of hope in the world.



-Bertram

[WILKES, indie]

Ben.


<sub>I like Ben much better than Bertram. Bertram's just so... icky sounding. Like the name of the boy in the back of the class room who eats his toenails or something. Is your middle name Benjamin or something?

If you have to keep a list about why you are cool, you are obviously not cool.

I wasn't aware that you had any jokes that weren't dull. I thought that with you it was simple dull, slightly less dull, and dreadfully dull. Besides, you should be glad that I caught on at all. Like I said, there's almost no difference between your joking manner and your regular one. Even your voice is in a monotone.

Just because people laugh often doesn't mean it's not genuine. Believe it or not, some people do this thing called enjoying life. I hear it's quite lovely. They walk around without a care and just enjoy things. Like ice cream or something. Personally, I hate ice cream. I always get awful head aches after I eat it. I like jello, though, as weird as it sounds.

I do not resemble a pitbull tied to a chain. That's ridiculous. You're the pitbull tied to the chain. A very short chain, because your owner probably doesn't love you.

I'll pretend to know what you meant by that, and you can pretend that you speak real English.</sub>


indie lela.

[AUBREY, bertram]

Indie -


Hahaha. To me it sounds like my grandfather, but I’ll tell him you said as much. I'm sure he'll find you and your comments just as endearing as I do.

No, it’s Bennett.


Everyone keeps that list in some psychological sense, so I guess we’re all very uncool. Even if people recognized this new levels of cool would emerge out of human nature. Unfortunately that same human nature prevents you from ever being included on that list.


I prefer the term wry. Besides, I’ve already stated that if I made everything obvious, it would just detract from everything, even when I’m being serious. I prefer plain words without dramatic intonations.


Yes, I do that thing. I just don’t laugh like a hyena about it. In reality that shows I’m more content, as I’m not altogether surprised when something good happens to me. Perhaps some people are easier pleased than I am. Some people also have lower standards, though I suppose I'm a candidate to be amongst such a group as I'm writing to you.

Anyone who walks around without a care is either ignorant or moronic, especially in these times.


Well, then you don’t really hate ice cream. You hate its after effects. You can’t possibly hate the taste. It’s just ice cream.


What was so confusing about that?



-Ben, I guess then, since Bertie makes me feel approximately four

[WILKES, indie]

Bennett.


<sub>I like Bennett way more than Ben. I mean you don't look like a Ben. Ben is a fun loving, quidditch loving, let's go get a drink after the big game kind of guy.
And you, Bertram, are not that sort of fellow.
You're more of a loud talking, cruelty loving, the sky is blue but four people just died and it's probably because of you kind of boy. And you know that it's true.

And I do not think your grandfather is a toenail eater. Rather, I'm assuming he's not (and there's no truly nice way of this, so he might be offended) a young person, and therefore the name Bertram suits him perfectly. I'm certain that if you were to live past forty, and not die from heart failure or something, a name like Bertram might suit you. For instance, I know that when I'm old and grey, going by Indie will be no option. No self respecting seventy year old would ever go by Indie - ever. And because of that, I will probably go by Old Mrs. Wilkes. Or Lela, depending on just how wrinkly I am.

I can name two people who think I am cool.
You, on the other hand, can name one if you're lucky.
But I suppose I have to admit that you're right about the mental list people keep. Except for I don't. I have things that are bigger than 'Why am I cool?' to worry about. If you even have to think about something like that, then you are clearly a waste of life in general.

Well just a little bit of intonations would be nice.
You know, Bertram, I don't think you would like yourself very much if you weren't you.

Some people laugh because they're happy. Not because they're surprised. And not everyone laughs like a hyena.
My mother, for example, laughs like a dolphin.
And the annoying French/Portuguese teacher laughs like a whore dog. Especially when she wears my socks and I get annoyed.

If writing to me was so bad, you could always stop, you know. It's called free will. I'm enjoying this correspondence, actually. It's further proving to me what an idiot you are. Admittedly, it makes me feel just a bit better about myself knowing that there's at least one person out there with a harder to get along with type of personality than me.

Anyone who walks around without a care is ignorant, moronic and not worthy of the air they breath, no matter what time they are living in.

Fine. I am not a fan of the after effects on ice cream. The taste isn't very good, either.

Well I have no idea what you were trying to say, or who it was about. it was like... Chinese. I just didn't understand.</sub>


indie lela.

[AUBREY, bertram]

Indie -


Yeah, that’s great. Name’s don’t necessarily have to fit the person. For example, you look like a Slag, and yet your name remains Indie.
And you’re more of a “Is that Fidel Castro? Is my makeup done all right?” kind of girl.


Right, but Old Mrs. Wilkes will only lend itself to such colourful expression such as, “That Hag Wilkes,” etc. At least you’re in good practice.

I can name them too. Both of them have been arrested for smuggling cocaine across the border.


The cool thing was actually another joke, which again went over your head. Anyway, to argue with myself for a moment, you can’t have your own personal list for why you’re cool. Cool is peer-related, a group I go uninfluenced by.
And congratulations. Cool implies having some sort of societal poise, which I utterly despise.


All of life’s questions are worthy of thought. I find it rather ignorant that you think otherwise.


Would it? Well you know me. I’m not one to be nice.
That’s funny, because I think I would like you if you weren’t you.


Are you trying to imply that each human is assigned a mammal to echo when they laugh? That really makes it all the more appealing.
If you dislike your language professor so much, why don’t you find a new one?


Yes. I stated that I must have lower standards if I’m writing to you. Which would include, as you put it “bad” company. Congratulations! You’ve been accepted on the same requirements upon which you were let into Hogwarts.

I’m sorry, but I’m afraid I just can’t take that comment seriously. The idea of me being anything but intelligent is just laughable.
Maybe I do have a difficult personality, but bluntness is what gets things done in this world. Politeness is just a barrier that needs to be torn down so we don’t have to step over it everytime. I wouldn't mind it if it wasn't such a crutch for peoples' false illusions of the world and what goes on around them.


In your previous note you implied that people who laugh are among the same that go without a care of the world. You made an argument for laughter yet against this thoughtless group. I note inconsistencies.


What don’t you like about the taste? Do you not like milk either?

That’s ridiculous. First of all, it was written in English letters, not Chinese caricatures, so I’ve already refuted that sad excuse for a retort. Case closed.




-Will you please make up your mind? I’m having a minor identity crisis here.

[WILKES, indie]

Benjamin.


<sub>Benjamin suits you far better than Bennet, I've decided.

Well, I can tell you that I'm no slag. You'd need experience to be a slag, and I have none of that. Also, I completely think that's a rotten name to call anyone. It would do you well to erase it from your memory.

Also, I abhor Fidel Castro. He's a spineless politician, whose political leanings are towards whatever helps him stay in power. I assure you that if fascism suited his regime, he would be a fascist and not the self-proclaimed Lennist-Marxist he is. You don't have to look very far to see that. Before leading the Cuban Revolution (which would have failed if it were not for the victory of Che Guevara at Santa Clara, which led to the victory in Havana), Castro was convinced that elections would be the way to reform the corrupted government. Though he did not change his views on this to further his political agenda, he did decide that the people could not make good decisions as to who would lead them. On this front, he is not a socialist. Socialism is a movement that empowers to working class, that gives them ownership and the ultimate decision. Government is simply there to make sure that those who can not handle a pro-leterian society don't sent it all to hell. During, and even after, the Cuban Revolution, Fidel Castro never acknowledged any connection to communism. Though I am by no means a communist, and believe that it is an unnecessary step in a socialist revolution, the Cuban Communist party lent an incredible amount of help to Castro's rebel troops during the revolution.

Despite having such outspoken socialists like Che Guevara (who I do admire to a great extent), Castro advertised himself as a moderate, so as to rally support from all kinds of people. As a moderate, he came off as a man looking out for the peasants, who were also a deciding factor in the revolution when they lent help to the rebel troops. But he could also be appealing to members of Cuba's upper class who were not fully satisfied with Batista's leadership. It was not until the Soviets clearly became the largest political and economic supporter of a Cuba with Castro as the leader that Castro fully 'committed' himself to being a Lennist-Marxist. But you watch, should the tide ever turn and some other kind of doctrine were to be the most promising to Castro, he would change his position in a heart beat.

Really, he was only the heart of the Revolution. He was and is a wonderful speaker, but the only reason that Revolution was successful was because people like Ernesto Guevara, Camilo Cienfuegos and at certain points in time Raul Castro doing all of Fidel Castro's dirty work.

So, no. I'm not a 'Is that Fidel Castro? Is my makeup done all right?' kind of girl.
Also, I don't wear makeup very often.

I'm sorry to say I've never met anyone who smuggles cocaine across the border. I have, however, met a Mexican man who smuggled a Chinese doctor into the United States.

I beg to differ. Not every question life presents you with matters. For example.
'Does my hair look fine?'
I doubt that something like that matters.

I think you should start being nice. Otherwise, you'll end up wrinkly and alone. Maybe, if you start being nice, you can at least have a dog named Dog.

Not all humans echo a mammal when they laugh. I just used two people who do as an example.
My mother would never fire that God awful woman. Never ever ever. Trust me.

Your personality is not difficult. It's impossible. You're just not a fun person to be around, Bertram. Accept it.

I didn't say it was in Chinese caricatures. I simply compared it to the language. Which I don't speak, and thus, don't understand.</sub>


indie lela.

[AUBREY, bertram]

Indie -


Really? I’m fond of it. It has that sort of controversial undertone that gets people all riled, particularly those who are prone to it anyway.


Thank you for that brief review of Cuban history. But just so you know, you wouldn’t have any government at all without politicians. A politician is one who influences the way society is run through the influence of policies; in that way, in your ideal society you are describing all people would be politicians.


Are you so sure? Your words for him seem masked with a subtlety of fondness.
The heart of a Revolution? No wonder it was so bloody. I recognize your note that you detest Fidel Castro. However, Che Guevara killed almost 200 people, you know. Some idol. Some revolution as well. Institutionalized by its own bureaucracy, if you ask me.

You know, for a socialist you seem rather against government. Some of your comments seem almost anarchistic, or even conservative, in the way that you think that the government should hold a thin skeleton for which the people to run and make their own decisions by.

Are your mum and dad influenced by socialist guerillas as well? Ha. Somehow I doubt our parents would get along.


Well, good. I hate it when you can see makeup on girls. But not even a red star on your chin or anything like that? Come on…


Oh, I know you didn’t “meet” him physically. How do you lot call it? Slipping the line pass the border? I don’t know, don’t ask me. I’m not a coke dealer.


But that’s interesting. Was that recently?


My point is that questions such as “does my hair look fine?” can all lead to poignant ones, thus having validity themselves. For example, “Does my hair look fine?” can then lead to “Does anyone’s hair ever look fine? Who set up the definition of ‘fine?’ Who decided that hair needed to be done at all?” etc.


Hmm, or maybe I won’t change my personality for anyone else, especially not per your request. I don’t mind not being a fun person to be around. My goal in life has never been to be another man (or women’s) carnival.


I don’t like dogs. I’m more of a cat bloke myself. Though if I did, Dog is a fairly good name. At least it’s to the point and descriptive, and it’s not as if animals really matter in the whole scheme of things anyway. Sure they provide all necessary resources, but you should know that as a fascist I support the exploitation of all living things for the sake of corporate profit and my own idle laziness and sense of power.


Well, why wouldn’t she fire her?


Ah, well, you don’t understand a lot of things, so we can hardly use that a restriction for my speech, can we? I only wish you’d use such barriers for yourself; then you’d end up not speaking at all.




- Bertram. Whatever, I'm signing this with my proper signature. Feels like forgery elsewise.

[WILKES, indie]

You are no longer Bertram. You are Benjamin.


<sub>I've always wondered why there's a wealth of names for women who are sexually active and only a few for men. Such as jerk. Or man whore. But you could go on for ages listing all of the names for promiscuous women. It's upsetting.

A Revolution has to be bloody. There's no way around it. Though, I do concede that Guevara killed many, many people. And a fair number of the killing were simply to prove that he meant business and that the Revolution would be stopped by nothing. But, you have to acknowledge that the masses were demanding revenge. That after years of suffering under Batista's regime, they wanted to see those who had contributed to the suffering or those who threatened the movement dead. The Cuban people wanted to see blood shed, and Guevara gave them what they wanted. It doesn't justify the killings, but still.

There are many kinds of politicians. And Castro is the sleazy kind. The kind I would never in a million years admire.

I'm not against government. It's necessary for any kind of movement to succeed. It's needed to regulate business and promote industrialization, among other things. But I don't think it should be a force that can easily overpower proletariates and turn a socialist society into a capitalist one.

No. My parents think I'm nuts, honestly. They can't fathom the idea of a socialist society, or the new man. They're too comfortable with their current status in society. They didn't like me going on my trips alone, though. They aren't conservative, but they aren't liberals. They're moderates I suppose, leaning towards conservatism. Which is really hypocritical of them.

Red stars on my chin? I've never had stars on my chin, if that's code word for blemishes. I mean, I've had blemishes but they haven't been bad enough to cover up. I can remember two occasions on which I wore make up, and both times it was suffocating. I felt like there was oil on my skin. But not soothing oils. Oils used to cook food. Not pleasant. I'd rather let the world see my freckles, thanks.

Yes, actually. Over Christmas holiday. I met him at a store near my parent's home with my grandmother. He was an interesting fellow. Apparently, he migrated from Mexico to California during the Mexican Revolution when he was a young boy. And when he was in his twenties, the United States started heavily discriminating against the Chinese, and near his town there was a large Chinese population and they needed a Chinese-speaking doctor to help them with the flue. When the doctor couldn't get a visa, he did them the favor of smuggling the man in. It was all very interesting.

I'm giving up on this line of conversation. We're never going to agree.

You don't have to be a carnival. You only have to be somewhat mildly pleasant every once in a while.

I'm hoping you were kidding about being a fascist.
Also, I can not picture you liking cats. But I'm a dog fan myself. I had one. He was named Dog. I had a fish named Fish, and a bird named Bird Jr. The Jr was because I had named a pigeon in a park near my house in Venezuela Bird already, though in hindsight it may have been more appropriate to name it Pigeon.

My mother just wouldn't fire her. My dad might, but my mother would stop him. It's awful.

I find it funny that you think you can still verbally abuse me into silence. You know that I'd never shut up for anything.</sub>


indie lela.

[AUBREY, bertram]

Indie -


It’s because men have to pay the bill. It’s their vengeance.


Apparently those in Cuba and the rest of Latin America have yet to here of Mohatma Ghandi or Martin Luther King Jr. I guess news travels slow on coconut radios.


I think government should regulate industry but should not be allowed to impose moral standards like state-run religion.
And be able to raise taxes. I mean, obviously. I willingly live in the United Kingdom.


The churning of societies and cycling of different governments is a natural movement. Just you wait. One day Angola will rise and rule us all. Well, let’s not be ridiculous, but that’s the idea.


Do they really? That’s funny. I would never picture that. You seem like you were born and conceived out of some banana booth in Caracas that was secretly a front for some new wave para los socialistas. Descriptive I know, but you lend yourself to such a depiction.
I guess I would say that my mum is liberal, but when she was younger she was very conservative. My was dad sort of liberal as well but he was conservative on some things. My mum doesn’t feel particularly strongly about many political things, or at least not the extent that you do, though I doubt many could match that. Like I said, my parents are Quakers – that’s really the only thing that’s ever ran them. Well, actually, my dad’s family is Quaker, my mum was more Catholic before she married my dad, or at least she came from a Catholic family.


No, love. Just… no. A red star is a Communist symbol. Incidentally, stop thinking that everything is being spoken in code. We’re not conducting a missile brigade towards the United States here. Or at least, I’m not.


All right, well, suit yourself.

That's a very interesting story. I'm not sure that I would have believed him myself, but that's the difference between you and me. I fact check.

I think I’m mildly pleasant. What’s unpleasant about me?
Besides my fascist tendencies of course.


Well, honestly, I don’t really like any animals, which is why I don’t like you. However, I PREFER cats to dogs, which seem incapable of independent thought.
You know, I take that not liking any animals bit back. My mum has a goat, which I’m rather fond of and don’t mind as long as it doesn’t get in my way. That’s rather difficult in Wales – I think the goat population exceeds the human population by something like three times.

Are they grand friends or something? Your mother and the professor girl?


I’m waiting to test out all the waters. There’s bond to be a button somewhere.




- Bertram. No.

[WILKES, indie]

Benjamin. Yes.


<sub>Men don't have to pay the bill. I know plenty of girls who would pay the bill. That's just so archaic. Personally, I would be insulted if I went on a date with a guy and he automatically assumed that I would want him to pay the bill. I can pay for my own dinner, and his, thanks.

We've heard of Martin Luther King Jr. And Mohatma Ghandi. But their movements were not socialists ones.
Also, I resent the comment made about coconut radios and hope that it was a joke.

State-run religions are atrocities. They don't do anything to unify people - they only push them farther apart. The idea of religion is ridiculous to me. If you need it to get through the day and you honestly believe, then that's all fine and dandy. But I find it rather hard to believe in something like an all-knowing being in the sky. I used to be Catholic, though.

Well I sort of was conceived out of some banana booth. My parents were hardly older than me. Actually, they weren't at all. They were sitting in my father's bedroom one day and decided to have a baby. They say I was an experiment. Their marriage was also an experiment. It's frustrating. Everything with them is an 'experiment'. And they just think that it's the funniest thing. My parents aren't bad or anything. They've just never been the kind of parents to say 'When I saw your little face I knew that I was doing the right thing in my life.' My dad actually once told me, 'When you were born I wanted to vomit. I couldn't believe I would have to pay bills and things like that.'

I don't know very much about Quakers. Care to explain?

First. You should know by now that when I zone in on one subject, I don't think about anything other than proving the other person wrong.
Second. I am not planning anything to do with missiles either. At least not at this point in my life.
Finally. Don't call me love. It reminds me of Gabriel, who I like very much. He's a nice fellow.
And you, Bertram, are no Gabriel.

I prefer to believe in the fundamental goodness of humanity. So hopefully, that man was not lying. Besides, he seemed like a real macho. A really honest guy.

I think the more appropriate question would be what isn't wrong with you.

If you want to get technical, we're all animals.
Also, I bet you secretly want to be my best friend.
I joke, i joke.

My mother and the teacher? Something like that.

I'm sorry to inform you that I am not controlled by buttons.</sub>


indie lela.

[AUBREY, bertram]

Indie -


Well, I wouldn’t be able to tell you. I’ve never had a date that I’ve actually enjoyed.


Of course they wouldn’t. I’m merely suggesting that some of the more radical socialists could take away a few lessons away from their nonviolent civil protests.


Yes, it was. I meant coconut sparkgap transmitter. You lot probably don’t have radios yet.


Used to be Catholic? How'd that work out for you?


Well, I don’t see what’s wrong with that. That’s what I’d say. At least he was being honest.


Quakerism is a Christian denomination that inteprets the Bible very loosely and does not believe in following it word-for word. It’s hard to give an exact definition, but a huge concept is Universalism, which most Quakers believe in. Universalism basically says that all people are saved through sin through the death of Jesus because all people are united. At the same time Quakers by rule don’t really follow any doctrines and sort of learn through experience. Still, they have some philosophies they follow, like peace, equality, integrity, and simplicity. They’re also usually strongly against war and all forms of violence.
Also, most believe that the Inner Light (Spirit of Christ) is within everyone, and that nobody will be condemned to hell. I mean, there’s a lot more to it, and I don’t mean to oversimplify it but that’s the basics of it really.


Trust me, I didn’t mean it as a term of endearment. It’s a rather common slang term and its meaning is diluted. But rest assured, if it came across that way, it won’t happen again.

God, you’re impossible.


I certainly am not. Gabriel is a complete fop, a fake, an aspiring yet failing Don Juan. I can’t stand that kid. You like him? Shows your judgment. I’m not surprised.


What isn’t wrong with me is what is wrong with the rest of the world; what is wrong with me is what isn’t wrong with the rest of the world. We all have to make sacrifices with positive traits for some negative ones; your negatives just happen to outweigh the former.


Right, but let me put it this way – in terms of intelligence, I’d be the dolphin and you’d be the mouse. Not to worry, Peter Pettigrew would be the rock by the lake that I would unfortunately have to associate with.


I’ve got a best friend, ta.

Hmm.

We’ll see.



- Bertram. NO.

[WILKES, indie]

You are definitely Benjamin.


<sub>Not even one? That's really sad, Bertram. You probably have bad taste in women and should consider going gay.

We have plenty of radios and televisions and the like, thank you very much.
And that comment makes you a gigantic jerk.

Catholicism was all fine and dandy. And then, in the third grade when my religious ed teacher explained bible math, I realized that it wasn't for me. So I went home and told my father and he smiled, then bought me some ice cream. Later that day, he asked what religion I planned on being, and I answered 'One that likes unicorns, probably.' And he replied, 'I'd like to convert to that religion, when you discover it.'
It was a pleasant day.

Well it isn't that part that bothers me. it's more of the part that he doesn't acknowledge the fact that he was an idiot for deciding to experiment with parenthood. I mean if you're going to make a mistake and talk about it like it's a joke, at least admit to the mistake.

Quakerism is interesting. I'll have to read up on it.
Are you a Quaker? Or is that just your parents?

I'm impossible?
Please.
If anyone is impossible, it is most definitely you.

Gabriel is a nice, pleasant person. I can have a civilized conversation with him. I can hug Gabriel. I can smile at Gabriel. I can go out for drinks with Gabriel. I can go weeks without yelling at Gabriel. I enjoy Gabriel's company.
You, on the other hand...

I think I can find a few more people who think your negatives outweigh mine than you can.
Do you realize that most of the people you hate are people that the rest of the general public considers relatively friendly?

You would be a dolphin? But, Bertram, that would require wearing a permanent grin. I highly doubt you can manage a small smile. Much less a permanent one.

Books do not count as best friends.
And I still am not controlled by buttons.</sub>


indie lela.

[AUBREY, bertram]

Indie -


I think you’ve had enough cheap shots at my masculinity for one night. You’re going to get drunk off of your false sense of power.


Hmm, yeah. How very interesting. Sure you do.


That’s almost adorable. Don’t make me vomit.


That’s true. I think I was planned because I was the last one, and if they hadn’t figured out wizarding birth control by 1960 then my dad would have been the most disgraceful Ravenclaw alumni alive. Maybe your parents just didn’t love the idea of you enough to plan you? If that’s the case, then I have to agree that the outcome of the final product heavily follows their prediction.


I grew up a Quaker, but I don’t know. I’m just not really religious and into denominations and all that. I suppose my answer to you is no, I'm not, but I guess some of the more secular parts of that stuff will always affect me and be part of me. That’s just the way life is. But I don't want to state that I belong to any religion, which I consider all cults, because I don't belong to anything. But if I did, it sure as hell wouldn't be something called the "Religious Society of Friends."


The rejection of claims of your impossibility only supports your difficulty and thus your impossibility. I didn’t proclaim I was or wasn't impossible.


That’s great. And of course they’d be your friends and therefore unbiased. Besides, I hardly care about what someone else thinks about me. I’m not like you.


It’s because I have a greater ability to see past their smarmy facades than the general public.

I can smile. But I hate dolphins. I was simply remarking upon their intelligence, which I think is admirable for a sub-human creature.


No, if you must know, Rita Skeeter have been best mates since we were fifteen, though personally I find the term "best mate" a bit too Mary Sunshine's Academy for Girl's for my tastes.



- Bertram. Yes.