history of magic, tag;; open

[AUBREY, bertram]

You-


I've already read this chapter, obviously. That's why my book is closed while you're still hastily taking notes with the rest of the muppets in this class. As such, this is probably of some annoyance to you, which is precisely why I have chosen to send this to you. Perhaps your amusing discomfort or feigned disinterest will come as some entertainment while Binn's lecture draws to a close. You can send me a thank you note later; it's probably the one time in your life where your comments have been held against a crotchety old man's and therefore, comparably, will actually be of some interest. Of course, you may be disappointed to learn that this is not because of anything you have or will have said, but rather the simple fact that the spring of life is still apparent in your flesh, even if the question arises whenever you open your mouth. So really I guess I have the earth's carbon makeup to thank for that.


So, hello.


-Bertram Aubrey

[VANE, johanna]

To a certain Mr. Aubrey,

Must you gloat so? If you've already read this chapter
then put your head down in sleep if you're so bored. Some
others have interest in the subject and would rather listen
to Professor Binns. I must confess, however, I have read
this chapter as well and my 'hastily taken' notes as you've called
them are merely doodles and nonsense on my own part. As for
the muppets in this class, must you blame them for actually trying
to understand the lesson? He has at last started talking with more than
a drone, an effort worthy of an award on his part. I am extremely bored
and unfortunately you, my dear Bertram, are the only contendor in
which I am able to speak to. Oh how sad this world has become.

Johanna Vane

[AUBREY, bertram]

Vane-


You’re too easy.
And you’re not “confessing” - you’re gloating (what gloating apparently is by your definition and terms, at least) too. Just more discreetly. At least I’m honest.

Oh, are those doodles? Forgive the mixup. You must have been simply doodling all year, then. I was under the impressive that’s what you were studying from. It would explain a few things. Now you’re left without an alibi.
Just kidding. There, I’ll make it more obvious for you; apparently you require such drawn out explanations.

There’s nothing to understand. There was a Goblin rebellion. Memorise it and be done with it, or else, fail. People need to stop gripping their hair over this lesson as though they’re having some existential crisis.

What a lie that is. There are plenty of contendors all around this room, and you chose to respond to me. I can't help it if my letters incite people's muses and drive them to dot the ink of their own quill, so to speak. Thank you for the champion compliment, by the way.



-Bertram Aubrey

[VANE, johanna]

Mr. Aubrey,

Gloating, in my vocabulary, Bertram, is exactly what you are doing
now. So let us move on, because all that will happen is us bicker back
and forth over what is the correct definition. That would be a waste of
both my and your time. Actually, I have been doodling all year, so do forgive
me for having an imagination unlike you, who sit there and think you are above
the rest of us in intellect and have no time for such 'dilly dallying.'
I don't require such drawn out explanations, on the contrary, its you who
desire to make them so drawn out to make yourself sound ever the more
smarter than everyone around you. To harsh for you, Bertram, dear?
Some people cannot memorize things so easily, mostly because they sleep
through the class; such as many of my friends do.

No it's not a lie really, all of the other people with whom I would talk
with usallly is asleep, but why must I explain things to you
in the first place? All you'll do is shoot them down and make it ridiculous.
You're such a git, Bertram, honestly.

Johanna

[AUBREY, bertram]

Vane-


Yes, but by logical extension, if I am doing the same thing as you, and I’m gloating, then you’re gloating as well. If A equals B and B equals C then C equals A. Don’t you know anything about Socrates?

I have an imagination. I wrote a very creative letter detailing exactly why, try as you might, you are inferior to me in everyway. And you still responded it, only to unknowingly reiterate everything I stated. Oh, yay. I love it when I’m right.

More smarter than everyone around me? Okay, I’ll just ignore that phrase as you’re pretty much stabbing your own foot there, and apparently don’t need help shoving it into your mouth. I am smarter than everyone around me, but that isn’t arrogance. Look around you.

Well then, if they are going to do that they should learn the material outside of class, shouldn’t they? And then stop complaining.
You may think it’s ridiculous, but really I just make so much sense that it infuriates you. Your mind, which is apparently built around things remaining in a complacent box that can only function when the world goes unexplained while people simply do and say things out of societal expectations ("humbleness" that false ideology I have already explained), short-circuits (probably within a matter of seconds, as no doubt these same circuits are probably jarred from even attempting to think, though perchance they can withstand somewhat as I can’t imagine that having occurred very often in your past) and subsequently self-destructs. But don't worry. I'm sure Filch will find the remains of your brain later and finally give it a comfortable, proper home. There's a trash bin in this corner of the school, isn't there?

Thanks love. I try.



-Bertram

[EVANS, lily]

Mr. Aubrey,

You'll be happy to know that I have put up a white flag,
you win. This'll be giving into your prattle but this is absolutely
pointless and I have nothing more to say to the subject. So
soak in the glory, dear.

You try to be a git? And here I thought it was a natural gift.
My mistake.

Now, have you come down from your cloud like pedestal to
listen to any music? If so, have you heard of that muggle band
Alice keeps going on about, the Beatles? They're absolutely
fantastic!

Johanna

whoops this is suppose to be as Johanna o.O

[AUBREY, bertram]

Vane-

I'm not asking you to give up. I'm asking you to defend yourself, only properly.
I don't think I can do that. If the amount of glory I should soak in equivated the depth of your loss, I'd drown.

Well, I suppose a certain tendency towards certain choices (which I disagree about being "git-ish" by the way) can be inherited. Well-spotted.

Oh, someone who likes the Beatles. How original. No, actually, I like the Beatles a lot, that I'll admit. Alice does talk about them a lot. It's about the only time when she's actually interesting.


-Bertram