i'm stumbling over my w o r d s;;, --- feeeeelan

so, here's a note, felan

why am i writing this?
i don't know.
maybe i was feeling nice
and decided to save you.
how about that?
transfiguration class is really boring today.
but i hope mcgonagall doesn't see us.
so how are you doing?
oh, be careful with this parchment.
it likes to give paper cuts.
please ignore the blood droplets near the bottom.
i'm a klutz. sorry!

alice

good timing, alice,

'cos I think if I tapped my wand against my desk one more time,
mcgonagall might have transfigured me into a toad.
or maybe something even more sadistic, like a mosquito.
blood droplets? oh geez I hope I don't contract AIDS
. . . ah. I see what you mean.
'scuse me now while I attempt to close this cut up.
if I accidentally sever my finger,
I'm blaming you.
( by the way, those gloves worked fair ace for me in practice yesterday. )

- F H G

you're welcome, felan

oh, don't worry.
i'd transfigure you back.
because i'm very nice like that.
aids! i don't think so - just don't lick it
oh dear, be careful.
unless you want me to do it.
i have to say,
i think i'm better at charms
then you are.
here, reach other
and let me see it.
( really? i'm glad they work for you. i was worried your hands wouldn't fit. )

alice

you're awfully good with that spell;

I think I might need a pocket-sized version of you to carry around,
in the event that I cut my finger on another piece of paper.
then again, maybe it's just your dangerous parchment?
I could use a pair of gloves now just to write on this.
& you might be better at charms, but I do believe that I could
whip up a good potion faster than you.
it's in the blood, see.
glad to hear you'd transfigure me back - I'm not sure I'd trust
any of my own pals to do it. ( "hey, felan's a frog! let's see what happens
when we dangle him in front of a cat!" )
so you're calling my hands fat, then?

- F H G

thanks; i try, felan

a pocket-sized version of me?
... that's pretty cute, actually.
market myself as a little thing
to carry around and cast spells for.
what would you call such a product?
i'm sorry; it was one of the last pieces i had.
i need to get some more.
...oh, please, don't talk about potions.
i'm already failing.
slughorn wants me to get a tutor
to stay in his class.
but i cannot help it. i am the pits at potions.
aw, that's a bit sad really.
i wouldn't dangle froggie felan in the face of a cat or owl.
i'd probably just keep you in my pocket.
no! just very large. bigger than mine at least.

alice

let's just hope nobody was looking -

because then they'd have to wonder what the hell you were doing to my hand. ( and, personally, I'd hate to hear what they would come up with. )
hmm. . . a pocket-sized version of Alice Edgecomb. . .
I'd call it useful.
failing potions? how tragic.
you know, I'm sure Slughorn wouldn't mind if I tutored you.
in fact, knowing his views on slytherins, and knowing my grade in that class,
I rather think he'd be all for it.
should I approach him with an offer on the matter?
hopefully you'd only keep me in your pocket for a little while
before turning me back - as cozy as it might be in there,
I think I'd prefer the freedom of walking around on my own two feet.
& you know what they say about guys with big hands.
small feet.

- F H G

nope, no one was looking, felan

well. maybe i was doing muggle palm-reading.
... only a few people would actually know what that is.
do you even know what that is?
nevermind.
useful. aw, thanks.
would you?
i think he's getting sick of me
blowing things up
in his class.
it's not that i do it on purpose -
things just get messed up very easily for me.
well, i have cosy, big pockets.
you'd like it in there.
i'd slip you food as often as you needed?
.... i just laughed very loudly at that.
and people are looking at me weird.
i think that just secures the fact
that i'm too odd for my own good.
thanks, bud.
( by the way, are your feet small? again,
they look bigger than mine. )

alice

well that's alright, then:

muggle palm-reading?
can't say that I've heard of it, but then,
I'm not too well-acquainted with most . . . muggley . . . activities.
sure, no problem.
might seem a little odd that I'm offering to help someone,
but I can sell it off as me trying to do a
'good deed' or something. haha. he's not that bright,
he'll buy it.
you're good at everything else, alice, so a little deficiency
in at least one area is healthy.
hmm, it does sound kind of nice;
just riding around all day, warm and comfortable,
fattening myself up on whatever scraps you've stolen
from the gryffindor table -
then again, it's all a bit emasculating, innit?
& you probably are too odd for your own good.
'salright, though, we've all got our shortcomings.
( well, it's not hard to look bigger than you,
but my feet are quite an average size for my height.
which, consequently, means that they're probably
a helluva lot larger than your own. but nobody really likes
a girl with manly feet, anyway. )

- F H G

quit your worrying, felan

oh, well.
really, it's a load of bogus.
but nonetheless amusing.
associate it with divination.
well, i think slughorn
won't really care.
just as long as someone helps me
to stop blowing things up.
hopefully you'll have enough patience for me.
seriously, stop complimenting me.
it's making me blush, actually
and no work! i wouldn't mind
being a frog.
emasculating? well. i suppose.
being odd and forgetful. my shortcomings.
what are yours? if you even have any.
you're very normal to me.
( you've got a point. you are so much taller than me.
giant. honestly.
i don't want man-feet. i'll stick with my small ones, thanks. )

alice

sorry, I can't help but worry over everything:

divination?
oh, well, I'll definitely leave it at that, then,
'cos divination is just about horrible, muggle & wizarding alike.
okay, then, no more blowing things up for alice.
as ecstatic as that might make old sluggy,
I daresay you'll be disappointing the other kids in the class -
you're their sole source of entertainment.
I'm a patient boy when I put my mind to it. not often.
it's hardly complimenting, it's stating the facts,
though if you'd like me to start really complimenting you it'll be quite easy.
I'm good at finding people's strengths like that.
( though I find flaws pretty fast too. )
I think you'd mind being a frog - it'd be awfully lonely.
unless your owner happened to find another frog to toss into your pocket with you.
I can't imagine snogging another frog would be very pleasant, though.
eating flies all day couldn't possibly leave you with good breath.
ah, my shortcomings. where to begin?
people tell me I'm too irresistible for my own good. ( just kidding. )
I'm utterly lazy and incompetent, I sleep in too late on sundays,
I tend to drop whatever I'm doing for quidditch or a girl,
& I can't say no when it comes to chocolate.
there, I win as far as shortcomings go.
( hardly giant, you're just a midget.
keep your small ones, they're cute if they were bigger
you'd probably trip over them all the time. )

- F H G

why, though? am i worry-worthy, felan

completely and utterly agreed.
i don't know why i take that class.
easy grade?
... i actually amuse the lot of you?
with my cauldron explosions?
well, i'm not sure whether to be hurt or amused.
and that's good to know that you can be patient.
you'll need it with me.
you don't need to do that.
i like to avoid having a very inflated head. it's nice of you, though
well, i'd mind being lonely
with no one to ribbit with.
we can be frog buddies!
... felan, you have to stop making me laugh.
snogging frogs? that was .. one of the weirdest
& funniest things i have ever heard.
look, i'm getting funny looks again!
let's see if i can name mine!
well, the easy one is how forgetful i am.
how horrible at potions i am.
i make up horrible excuses just to go outside.
really, i do.
ah, quidditch. you know, i can be like that.
just mention the word and i'll be blabbing on and on
about the magpies and harpies. my favorite teams.
chocolate? hm. now i know what to get you
for your birthday! .. wheeeenever that is.
what else is wrong with me?
well, i make up words. and bite my nails.
every other girl has longer nails that me.
mine have stopped growing because i bite them so much.
what else .. oh, i'm blonde!
what a shortcoming!
so no, you don't win. we tie.
( hey, that's not very nice.
aw, thanks - i never thought my feet were cute though
yeah, i don't want trip over them more than i already do. )

alice

why don't you tell me?

ah, how nice it must be
to be able to get an easy grade in anything.
divination is a pretty easy class to slide by in, though,
even for me, which pretty much defines it as pointless right there.
be amused, trust me; the rest of us are.
well, that's not strictly true.
the person who sits next to you never seems very happy when your cauldron splatters into theirs,
but if they ever say anything, I'll straighten them out for you.
not like their potions turn out very well, either.
it's probably a good thing; inflated heads, much like large feet, are not very attractive.
frog. . .buddies?
as tempting as that sounds, I think I'll have to pass; being human buddies is much
less troublesome. as for the weirdness of my previous comment, I've nothing to say in my defense
except that your own strangeness is clearly rubbing off on me.
you should've warned me that you were contagious.
oh, know your quidditch teams, do you? the harpies are quite excellent,
and certainly interesting to watch - but I'm partial to the falmouth falcons
myself. my methods might not be as violent as kevin & karl broadmoor's were,
but they were my childhood inspiration to become a beater.
and then, of course, there are the magpies. an awfully good team, though I can't say
they're my favorite - that honor belongs, of course, to the aforementioned falcons.
still, the fact that they so rarely lose really goes a far way as to the number
of fans they have.
my birthday's august 13. when's yours?
biting one's nails is not a shortcoming. I find long nails vulgar.
but, yes, I suppose we tie.

- F H G

how am i suppose to know, felan?

well, i'm certain
if you applied yourself a little more
you'd get easy grades.
oh, well, then. i'm glad i'm a comedienne
when i fail.
... oh, that's true.
i suppose why that's the reason
why the seat next to me
is always the last to be taken.
maybe you should sit by me and help me out too.
that would be nice.
very true. bertram aubrey's head, for example
you're right. i like being human buddies with you.
i'm sorry, though. i had no idea
my oddness rubbed off on anyone.
the harpies are a blast. i love going to their games.
how many women have you seen play quidditch that are that fierce?
it's such an inspiration for all the little wannabe
girl quidditch players, myself included.
oh, yeah, i forgot you played beater. yes, those two
were quite .. crazy. but nonetheless good.
falmouth falcons? very .. er, violent team there.
and the magpies. oh, such a favorite.
you know hamish macfarlan? famous captain?
guess who got to meet him?
my birthday is february 26.
vulgar? i thought guys preferred girls with nails.
don't ask me why.
good. i like being able to tie.
i don't like to lose.

alice

well, you're you, aren't you?

application is easy in theory,
but quite difficult in practice.
there could be other reasons why that seat is always last to be taken -
maybe the chair wobbles?
I'll sit there next time and we'll see. I'm sure everyone will be duly impressed
when nothing gets blown up for once. ( I'll take all the credit, of course. ;D )
can't say I've seen many woman playing quidditch period -
most seem content to sit on the sidelines and cheer; which only makes me respect
the ones who do all the more, of course. whoever thinks it's an easy sport
obviously has never played it.
they're violent, but the perfect proof that sometimes - rather, often -
violence is indeed the answer. plus, they actually take the sport seriously,
unlike some certain cannons I could mention.
you met hamish macfarlan?! did you get his signature?
that's entirely unfair, I've never personally met a professional quidditch player,
and I've been playing since I was practically out of the womb.
my parents feel sports are essential to any pureblooded wizard hoping
to make his way in the world.
well, I, personally, think long nails are a sign of laziness,
or lack of skill, since anyone with any knowledge of a wand
can just flick them off. though they do seem
quite the latest fashion in the slytherin house, god knows why.
who enjoys losing? absolutely nobody.

- F H G

well, i suppose so, felan

you just have to
get into the habit, that's all!
no, felan. it's because i'm horrible. that's why.
they'll be impressed or wondering why the hell
i'm not being funny and blowing something up.
but i'll let you take the credit. i'm nice like that.
well. i play quidditch.
but i don't know if you've seen me play.
actually, wait, yes you have.
last year, they brought me out (i hate being an alternate sometimes)
because one of the other chasers
was hurt.
that was one of the matches towards the end of the year -
slytherin versus gryffindor.
i hope it wasn't you who aimed that bludger at me,
knocked me off my broom,
and caused me to stay in the hospital wing
because i broke two ribs and my arm.
violence, though, is necessary - you're right.
yes, i met him, and i have his signature.
no, you can't have it. ;D but i'll show you it.
aww, that's a little sad.
maybe i'll get you a signature.
my parents feel that sports help with school.
ah. well. i just bite mine.
they don't really grow anymore.
exactly. losing stinks.

alice