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[persomelodia]

Title:Gone
Genre: A short rambling
Any Needed Information: Its about a girl going a little funny after a break up.


Sometimes she stares up at the clock on the wall. She doesn't understand it but she has a feeling it understands her. She looks after it, just in case it is there for her. If it slows down she hurries and forgets everything to change its batteries and insure it doesn't stop the way he did.

Every morning she watches it with suspicion as she makes the coffee. Two cups, one with no sugar. The way he likes it. Then she watches as the steam fades and the coffee cools and eventually she will lift it and pour it out the upstairs window, watching it fly through the air and cling to windows. Then she'll spend the next hour cleaning up the mess. But that’s all right, because she knows that he hasn't came and he missed his coffee and that gives her a little revenge. He always said he had never tasted anything like her coffee.

Then she'll hurry to the shops. She won't buy anything. But she will watch the check-out girl who laughed and leaned all over him when he took her out and bought her the strangest little treasures. And she'll smirk to herself because he never comes to see the check-out girl, but for a while he did come to see her. And that’s all that can matter.

She arrives at the restaurant. Where he listened to her and they smiled over food

(Eyes locking, hearts locking)

A table for two. Just in case. And she'll order his favourites for them both and the waitresses snigger to each other and whisper things about her but she doesn't mind. Because he wouldn't, and his opinion is worth more.

[lizzy278]

Well, I''ll take a whack at this, since no on else has.

I like the concept. I'd like to read something more about appearances. What does the shop look like, how does this girl look like?

I see a few punctuation mistakes, but it's nothing major.

Your writing style is definitely unique and I love the mystery behind this piece.

It reads more like a one shot, but with some changes, you could make a nice little story out of it. (I unserstand it is a "short rambling", btw)


If you want something specific that I didn't cover, just ask.