Jokes, One for the road

[LittleLegs]

A guy goes into an lift, looks up and sees this great big huge biker standing next to him.

The biker sees the little guy staring at him, looks down and says,

"7 feet tall, 350 lbs, 20 inch penis, testicles 3 lbs each and Turner Brown".
The little guy just faints dead away and falls to the floor.
The biker kneels down and brings him to, by slapping his face and shaking him.

He asks, "Are you Ok??"
In a very weak voice Mike says, "Excuse me, but what did you just say to me?"
The biker says, "When I saw the curious look on your face, I just figured I'd give you the answers to the questions everyone always asks me.

"I'm 7 feet tall, weigh 350 lbs, have a 20 inch penis, my testicles weigh 3 lbs each, and my name is Turner Brown."
The little guy said, "Oh Thank God!!! I thought you said 'Turn Around'

[LittleLegs]

Stopped for speeding
• A new police officer pulled a biker over for speeding and had the following exchange:
• Officer: May I see your driver's license?
• Biker: I don't have one. I had a ban after drink driving.
• Officer: May I see the log book for this vehicle?
• Biker: It's not my bike. I stole it.
• Officer: The motorcycle is stolen?
• Biker: That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the log book in the tool bag when I was putting my gun in there.
Officer: There's a gun in the tool bag?
• Biker: Yes sir. That's where I put it after I shot and killed the bloke who owns this bike and stuffed his dope in the saddle bags.
• Officer: There's drugs in the saddle bags too?!?!?
• Biker: Yes, sir. Hearing this, the new officer immediately called his sergeant. The biker was quickly surrounded by police, and the sergeant approached the biker to handle the tense situation:
• Sergeant: Sir, can I see your license?
• Biker: Sure. Here it is. It was valid.
• Sergeant: Who's motorcycle is this?
• Biker: It's mine, officer. Here's the registration.
• Sergeant: Could you slowly open your tool bag so I can see if there's a gun in it?
• Biker: Yes, sir, but there's no gun in it. Sure enough, there was nothing in the tool bag.
• Sergeant: Would you mind opening your saddle bags? I was told you said there's drugs in them.
• Biker: No problem. The saddle bags were opened; no drugs.
• Sergeant: I don't understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn't have a license, stole this motorcycle, had a gun in the tool bag, and that there were drugs in the saddle bags.
• Biker: Yeah, I'll bet he told you I was speeding, too.