The Not-Particularly Excellent Adventures, of the Keanu-Spawn

Oh, and look there, I just did it again. I'm not completely idiotic; I promise, it's just that I use two different computers and forget that I'm logged out on one of them.

This is embarrassing.

Update to get back in sync with the CK update; nothing new if you're following the thread there:

--

First Combined Meeting
Thomas Ludlow presiding
Minutes taken by Martin Loader in shorthand, transcribed into longhand post-meeting

Start of Meeting: 9:50am
Time Collecting Names and Drawing People Map: 4 minutes
Actual Start of Meeting: 9:57 am

Proposed Agenda:
- To discuss current situation
- To discuss options and feasability
- To decide on best plan and how to carry it out
- To decide what to do with Reeves

Persons Present: 34

9:57:36:
- Ludlow opens meeting, summarises current situation:
- We are probably the only ones still here
- Scouting report from Marshetta says that stairs to outside world are still there
- Earlier reports from Logan and Preston say that outside world is chaotic, full of "people running around and getting shot and stuff."

9:58:42:
- Constantine rolls his eyes, entirely unprovoked
- Ludlow glares at Constantine, demands to know "what the f*** was that for".
- Constantine takes another drag on cigarette, does not answer question

9:58:53:
- Ludlow continues:
- Many Kenselton Hotel personnel still around, though deactivated
- He found a shotgun off the fifth floor janitor
- Ludlow produces said shotgun from behind kitchen sink and lays it on table

10:00:14:
- Anderson twitches. Gaze fixed on shotgun.

10:00:16:
- (cont'd)
- Ludlow concludes it will be too dangerous to go out unarmed
- Proposes we search KH for other usable weapons after the meeting
- Suggest we arm ourselves, then go out there and shoot anything that tries to stop us
- Destination is Kenselton HQ

10:02:36:
- Falco asks what we'll do when we get there
- Ludlow says we'll cross that bridge when we get to it.
- Logan asks "what bridge?"
- Preston says "the San Francisco Bridge".
- Logan says "oh".

10:02:53:
- Wyler asks what about Reeves and the hostage situation
- Ludlow says he can just stay here and get the f*** out of our way, because it's all his fault that we're here in the first place
- Constantine, entirely unprovoked, calls Ludlow a "f***ing asshole".
- Ludlow tells Constantine to go to hell.
- Constantine says sure, but first he'll need a cat.
- Logan says "I thought we were in Los Angeles"
- Preston says "good observation, dude. Then it's the Los Angeles Bridge."
- Sutton buries head in hands

10:03:25:
- O'Neill says "right, so basically we just go out there and shoot people. Why didn't we think of that before?"
- Wernicke asks when we can start, and if he's not allowed to use a gun can he just poke people with a stick?
- Reeves says that there's probably a better way to go about things.
- Ludlow says he didn't ask for his f***ing opinion, and why didn't Reeves come up with a better plan then.

10:03:42:
- Lomax points out that Kenselton HQ don't know that Reeves is still alive, and could we work with that?
- Constantine said we could, if not for the fact that Ludlow is a trigger-happy asshole.
- Ludlow tells Constantine to "suck it, pretty boy".
- Constantine says "that's what your mom said".
- Ludlow tells him to go to hell.
- Constantine says sure, but he still hasn't given him a cat.
- Ludlow says that Constantine never makes any f***ing sense.
- Wyler says can we please all calm dowN?

10:03:56:
- Anderson offers to start collecting guns
- Wernicke says he'll go with him
- Reeves says "I don't think so"

10:04:03:
- Riley says "okay, okay, so they don't know he's still alive, so maybe-"
- Wernicke asks what's wrong with the shooting people plan
- Mercer mutters something about more work for doctors
- Talbot stands up and leaves the room
- Ludlow asks him where the f*** he thinks he's going
- Talbot ignores him and slams door shut

10:04:18:
- Moss points out that the hostage thing didn't work the last time.
- Lomax says that's because KH managed to get everyone else against them by cutting off the food, and they can't do that now because no one is likely to come back in to stop us now that they're out
- Riley says okay, so what are our new demands?
- I say "send everybody home."
- Ludlow says "Martin, shut up and write."
- Favor says "Tell them to send everybody home or we kill him."
- Moss says "I think you're overestimating how much they value his life."
- Utah suggests we kill him first to show that we're serious, and then kidnap another actor to hold hostage.
- Reeves says something about Point Break 2.
- Utah shuts up.

10:04:41:
- Ludlow says "Reeves stays alive."
- Reeves looks somewhat happy about this
- Higgins raises his hand
- Ludlow says "What?"
- Higgins points at Griffin and says "I don't think it's safe for him to be out here"
- Ludlow asks why.
- Higgins says "because he killed people and stuff".
- Griffin says "I didn't kill any stuff".
- Falco says "One out of two's enough. Lock him up again."
- Utah suggests we kill him and save the trouble, and Reeves while we're at it
- Reeves clears throat.
- Utah shuts up.

10:04:59:
- Ludlow takes out handcuffs, tosses them at Falco, says "Chain him to a bed or something"
- Ludlow misses, handcuffs hit Lomax on head
- Lomax doesn't look happy, looks about to attack the origin of the flying handcuffs, presumably considers the source, doesn't do anything

10:05:10:
- Falco and O'Neill take handcuffs and Griffin out of room to chain him to a bed or something.

10:05:23:
- Wyler says "Can we just come to some kind of conclusion about what to do?"
- Marshetta says "We find a bunch of guns, we hold Reeves hostage, we go out there and tell 'em about it, and wait until they do something."
- Moss says "This plan sucks."
- Ludlow says "You got a better idea?"
- Moss doesn't have a better idea.
- Townsend suggests we "just stay here and let the other people work it all out"
- Marshetta asks "what if they don't work it all out?"
- Townsend says "at least they tried, and at least we'd still be alive".
- Mercer says "only until the water runs out, and then we'd be dead of dehydration."
- Lyman says "your patients must really love your optimism."
- Mercer says "most of them live."
- Lyman says "all of mine live."

10:06:08:
- Wyler says "I think it would be safer if we just stayed here and continue trying to reach them through the... radio link, and maybe come to some sort of compromise-"
- Moss says "like that worked the last time."
- Wyler says "I don't know. Did it? Sorry, I was dead."
- Utah says "we're still here, aren't we?"

10:06:25:
- Falco and O'Neill return and sit back down
- O'Neill asks "so what happened?"
- Moss says "nothing important."
- Wernicke says "can we start looking for the guns now?"
- Walker says "please?"

*

They ran around the hallways stripping bodies of their guns; here is one that's made of silver, here is one that only stuns. Handled different makes and tried them, having mock fights in the halls; fingers slipping on the triggers sent stray bullets raking walls.

"Stop wasting the f***ing ammo!" Ludlow yelled.

They collected themselves back in the common room and dumped the loot on the table.

Ludlow located a box and emptied it of its white tablecloths. Not-Tim looked at them. He walked over, crouched down, and picked up a white tablecloth from the floor. He looked at it for a long time.

Meanwhile a few people were checking the guns for ammo, chucking the sufficiently full ones into the box.

Shane tossed a seemingly empty gun aside. It hit the wall, went off, and blew a hole in a cornflakes box.

The cornflakes guy burst into tears.

Neo dodged the cornflakes rain and picked up the last gun to check it.

"Okay," Ludlow said after that was dropped into the box as well. "Everyone who knows how to use a gun, take one. ...ONE, Anderson! ONE!"

Neo sadly returned the other five.

"And can someone tell him to shut the f*** up?" Ludlow demanded, glaring at the cornflakes guy, still in tears.

Not-Tim sighed. He released the white tablecloth and joined the others on the floor. The cornflakes guy grabbed hold of him.

":(," he vibed, burying his face in not-Tim's jacket.

Not-Tim attempted to retain as much of his dignity as was possible with a cornflakes guy attached to him.

":(," the cornflakes guy continued.

"How old are you?" Ludlow asked suspiciously as Ron picked up a gun.

The teen scowled. "Old enough."

"Riiight." Ludlow pointed at the sole remaining cornflakes box. "Hit that."

Ron duly complied. Cornflakes flew out everywhere.

The cornflakes guy re-burst into tears, falling into sniffles when not-Tim covered his eyes.

Ludlow looked reluctantly impressed. He let Ron be and looked over at not-Tim. He took out another pair of handcuffs from his pocket and gestured towards the door. "Get moving."

"Where?"

Ludlow held up the handcuffs. "You're not coming with us, and I'm going to make sure that you don't. Got any problems with that?"

Not-Tim looked at him. He looked at the cornflakes guy. He looked back at Tom. "What if I promise not to go anywhere?"

"Not good enough."

Not-Tim sighed. He pulled the cornflakes guy off him and stood up.

":( !," vibed the cornflakes guy.

"You'll be safer here," Alex said doubtfully, then winced as the cornflakes guy attached himself to him instead. "Just... yeah. Hey, um, can someone help get this fellow off me?"

Julian went to answer his call of duty.

"You'll be all right," Alex continued as Ludlow led not-Tim out the door.

**

Griffin isn't the only one in the room; they find Eddie seated inside by the side of the door, looking up as they enter, suppressed anger in his eyes.

"What're you doing here?" Ludlow asks.

"Nothing."

"Get out and join the others," Ludlow says. "Everyone goes out except these two."

"You don't tell me what to do."

"Huh."

Ludlow's eyes rove over the rest of the scene, takes in Griffin where he's been cuffed single-handedly to the bed by Conor and Shane, looks at not-Tim, then turns towards the door.

"Keep him here," he tells Eddie. "I'll be right back." He walks out.

"...Hi," not-Tim says.

"Hi."

Silence.

"I don't want to go home," Eddie suddenly spills out, desperate, pleading. "I mean I-... I want to get out of here, but I don't want to go home either, and...." He takes a shaky breath. "...and I don't know, I don't-" He lapses into silence.

Ludlow returns with a chainsaw. He tosses it on the ground, then casually drags not-Tim closer to the bed, grabs his right wrist, and handcuffs it to Griffin's left.

Not-Tim looks at it; Griffin's hand moves instinctively away, recoiling, a sudden quickly-hidden flash of anger as he stares up at Ludlow.

Ludlow nudges the chainsaw a little closer to them, just within not-Tim's reach. Its metal blade shines dully on the carpet.

"If you want to get out," Ludlow says to not-Tim, indicating the chainsaw with an uncharacteristically sadistic glee that might have resulted from too much time in John's presence, "chop off his hand."

"And you," he says to Eddie, "get out of here."

The teen reluctantly obeys.

The door booms shut behind them as they leave.

Not-Tim glances at his fellow captive, the other's head bowed in what might have been resignation. Eventually he looks up and meets his eyes

"Do you want to get out?" Griffin asks.

It's not so much a question as a repetition of Ludlow's last words; they hold no offer of friendly alliance, taunting, almost; a dare tinged with false bravado.

"I don't want to hurt you," the actor says. His words ring with a perfunctory hollowness. Lip service to the unspoken obligatory contract between creator and created; one does not wilfully destroy one's own work.

The chainsaw lies untouched on the carpet. Had their positions been reversed, Griffin might have struck by now and be off, free; or perhaps not, for such crudity might have been below him; he would have savoured the power over him a little longer, the presented threat always there but not quite seen all the way through, hanging like a spectre in the night invading dreams and haunting wakeful sleep, tormenting his future victim with the knowledge that he might not wake to see another day.

Weariness moves the actor to sit, slowly, his right hand's descent tugging Griffin's left after; the other joins him on the carpet in silent compliance, looking down at his shoes, just thinking... thinking...

The quiet starts to get to him, dogging him with a curious feeling of insecurity. It is too quiet. Griffin is too quiet, his tongue temporarily tied by present company, currently powerless, waiting for his next move, calculating the possibilities...

Not-Tim tentatively reaches out his left hand to scratch his ear. He dare not move too freely.

"What are we waiting for?" Griffin finally asks. His gaze leaves the carpet and regards the actor with what might have been bemusement. A dark intelligence shines in his eyes. Not-Tim tries to look away.

"There's nothing we can do," he replies flatly.

A smirk. "You could kill me and escape. I could kill you and stay here. There's no sense in wasting a perfectly good saw. Of course... do you want to escape? What are you going to do out there? Join the others? You know they hate you. Us. That's why we're in here and they're out there."

Now that the silence is broken, not-Tim wishes that Griffin would shut up. He doesn't like the way his voice creeps up on him, invading a mind tricked into believing it is his own.

"Give up on them," Griffin continues. "There's no use. They're on their own. And we're far safer in here than they are out there."

Griffin's hand lies on the carpet next to his, handcuff round the wrist; take the saw, sever it, and he'd be free, but just the thought of doing so brings up revulsion in his mind. The hand looks too much like his own. He briefly moves his own fingers just to be sure of where he ends and the other begins, and he wonders at the mind that controls that other hand; how it thinks, where it's from, where it's been.

*

Computer... gun... computer... gun...

Neo gazed desperately at his beloved computer as he fingered the awesome shotgun in his hand. If he went out there, he might never come back again. He could die. He might get home. He might get home and then die. And he'd never be able to once again roam the Internet of the 21st century.

On the other hand, if there was going to be a shoot-people fest, he kind of wanted to be part of it.

He swallowed. The dilemma was driving him nuts.

People were milling about in the disorganised mess that tends to result when thirty or more are gathered in any one spot. A few had possibly run off to other parts of Kenselton Hotel to avoid what might have been irreversible death.

John Constantine hung around the corridor looking out for subtle ways to irritate Ludlow for the lulz.

*

to be continued.

I think I have written myself into a hole. I have no idea what happens next. This is bad...

anyway, to last you until the next update, here's a random bit from an earlier part of the final draft.

--

"...Hi," Alex said tentatively at Julian.

"Hi," Julian said in return, thus continuing the scintillating conversation that David wouldn't have missed if he'd just stayed on a little while longer.

"Where were you before you got here?" Alex asked, forcefully extending the conversation past its natural shelf life.

"Train station," Julian said cryptically. "You?"

"I was... walking," Alex said vaguely.

A pause.

"I'm Alex," Alex said.

"Julian. Julian Mercer."

Alex nodded. They went back to staring awkwardly at the floor.

Unbeknownst to them, this so happened to be one of the rare moments when someone was actually watching the footage from the surveillance camera trained on the fourth floor corridor of Block F. The viewer in question was listening with increasing delight to what he decided was probably undeniable proof that Keanu's characters were generally monotone and incapable of intelligent conversation. He clicked off the footage and went to call a friend to spread the news.

It was at this very moment that Neo entered the corridor tersely spouting deep and profound insights into the workings of Minesweeper and how playing the game would enable him to eventually hack into the system, get them all out of here, and unravel the deepest mysteries of the universe. Which is why he kept playing the thing. Ted tailed after him and into the common room, hanging on his every word, completely enraptured and asking too many questions.

*

I'm still waiting to know what's gonna happen with that chainsaw issue...

Ani, that's one hell of a cliffhanger !!

choices, choices...

...Yeah, me too. :\

One day I've got to learn to plan my stories instead of just writing whatever comes to mind...

I just love the way you write John Constantine. I love him.