The original empire of broadcasting, the BBC, at a ceremony over the weekend handed out the Lifetime Achievement Award to England's lion heart, David Beckham. A galaxy of stars heaped applause on England's favorite roar with a full three minutes and forty seconds standing ovation. Becks shed a tear, his Queen of Dark, Victoria, was in the front row; all of England stood up.

A proclamation from the Royal Court followed. Prince William, taking a break from selecting his wedding gifts from the registry at Marks and Spencers, engaged in profuse praise for the skillful commoner from the shire -- "His contribution to football is exceptional." Bookmakers in the proletarian quarters of the Kingdom quickly slashed the odds on Her Majesty The Queen picking up Excalibur to proclaim -- Arise, Sir David -- when the Knighthoods are handed out in the New Year with the tax bills.

With the finest matrimonial sheets from Harrods soon to be shared by Prince William and Ms. Middleton this coming April, Sir David and Lady Victoria Beckham can expect their invitation to be licked and posted by Royal mouth and hand. Earlier this month, Beckham the British bulldog gave his all for the colors, fighting the nasty foreigners at FIFA as they spitefully kicked the home of the game in the bollocks, preferring to export the World Cup to the heirs of the Czar. Everyone back at the palace was livid, as much silver had been spent from the Royal Mint in luring the FIFA mandarins. Unsubstantiated rumor from the Court suggested that Her Majesty had called for FIFA's head on a plate -- "We Are Not Amused -- Bring me Blatter on a Platter."

Beckham's acceptance speech to the nation, for the award, was gracious and humble. Recognition of the game as a collective pursuit was the central feature. No player is great without his teammates or his football father. The prodigal son, the apprentice Beckham, spoke lovingly of his soccer dad, Manchester United's Sir Alex Ferguson, already a Knight of the Realm. And in this, the subjects of Great Britain saw their Union in action. The English lion sired by a Scottish haggis. Beckham finished with worthy praise for the British troops serving in Afghanistan. No doubt soccer balls are being handed over to the local Afghan boys as we speak. This was one way the British conquered the world. Tell that to FIFA.

Sir Beck's speech

What a load of bollocks that article is. Lion sired by a haggis? Blow me.

I'm not Scottish, but I read that the same way. I may not be the biggest fan of the "haggis" in question, but whoever wrote that article can get fucked. Talk about blowing smoke.

Lol mos def


but still funny !

what a load of shit. why beckham?

That free kick against Greece, I assume. The rest of his life has been a waste. :lol:

Lol if he looked like the Brooklyn Brawler he would not be getting this award.

that video was vomit inducing.

well I would say why not beckham

if elton john can be a Sir..

You kinda missed Elton John's career due to being chronologically-challenged. He may be a bloated balladeering joke now, but in the 70s, he was electric. Seven (!) consecutive number one US albums. He was a big deal then, and amazing in concert.

Besides, I still think that to be a Knight, you should be able to fight with a sword. I think Ferguson would do alright, he used to own a pub. Mrs. Van Beckingham, on the other hand, would get his arse kicked. :P

Never saw EJ solo...back in the day it was a tough ticket and beyond my finances.....I will say that I took in his tour with Billy Joel last year and, for a couple of old geezers, they still had the building filled with electricity and energy......the only correction to your post would be to change the tense on his live concert status to the present.

As for the article....this line "taking a break from selecting his wedding gifts " had me reading it as the writer having his tongue planted firmly in cheek!

21 at 33 right?

21 albums by age 33... not one every 5 years as many acts do these days....

Trivia... whats the difference between EJ and Pele....?




















Answer... Pele never played at Wembley....

Pele never stuck his cock up a lads arse

Too shay !

Holy fuck that made me laugh. Caught me totally off-guard. :lol:

Y'never know with those rich footballing Brazilians though. The lad may have had tits, but he was a lad nonetheless.