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Welcome to the UN DEFCON. We care more about your nation's security than you do.
Pages: (4) 1 [2] 3 4  ( Go to first unread post )

 The Death Star Canteen, When ya need a break from sabre rattling
StEdmund
Posted: Mar 23 2007, 10:37 AM


Senior Officer


Group: Members
Posts: 148
Member No.: 11
Joined: 11-February 06



The doors open again, and a large, tabby tomcat saunters in. Jumping up onto a vacant barstool, he orders a Bailey's Irish Cream and then looks around.

"Wassail, folks," he says. "Colonel Balthasar Balthasar, the new St Edmundan delegate to this organisation, reporting in."



___________________________________________________________________

OOC: What a pity that Riley's just left... wink.gif
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The Wolf Guardians
Posted: Mar 23 2007, 10:43 AM


NCO


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Posts: 28
Member No.: 35
Joined: 1-October 06



Kyle couldn't for the life of him figure it out, be he suddenly wanted to chase Mr. Balthasar about the room. Instead he turned towards him and saluted. "Hi! I'm Kyle of the Commonwealth."
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Cluichstan
Posted: Mar 23 2007, 06:38 PM


International Pariah


Group: Admin
Posts: 1,500
Member No.: 1
Joined: 8-February 06



Commander Nikrat places his (still bloody damp) tray down on a table and takes a seat. It's been a long day, what with changing orbits and whatnot to threaten those opposing the proposal currently on the floor of the UN. The defense minister's been keeping him rather busy. He dives hungrily into his penne arrabiata, only to find...PEAS! The chef's stuffed the damn things in the pasta tubes again!

Angrily, he stands up, straightens his uniform and waves over two white-plastoid-armoured troopers who'd been guarding the entrane to the canteen. "Take the chef to Garbage Compactor 3263827, Detention Block AA 23."

The troopers march off to carry out their commander's order.

"That should teach them not to put peas in my pasta..."
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Akimonad
Posted: Mar 23 2007, 08:13 PM


Generally awesome guy


Group: Members
Posts: 88
Member No.: 38
Joined: 17-December 06



Major Boothroyd walked into the Canteen. He walked to the middle to the room and announced, "LISTEN UP, BUGGERS! I'm the new defence co-ordinator person from Akimonad here. Now, even though were small, I would try to take advantage of that!"

He walked up to the front of the buffet line and picked up a tray.

"This one is wet, this one is wet, this one is wet, this one is wet, this one is wet, this one is wet, this one is wet, this one is wet. My GOD! Is there a dry tray somewhere?!"

He went over to the beverage cooler instead and pulled out three Arrogant Bastard Ales. He sat down near Commander Nikrat and sipped coolly, reading a report of the latest Akimonad Defence Forces statistics.
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Cluichstan
Posted: Mar 23 2007, 09:51 PM


International Pariah


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Posts: 1,500
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Joined: 8-February 06



"Preparing to invade someone, Major Boothroyd?" Commander Nikrat asked, his tone rather aloof.
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TheykilledKenny
Posted: Mar 23 2007, 10:50 PM


Bite my shiny metal ass!


Group: Daleks
Posts: 586
Member No.: 3
Joined: 8-February 06



A series of loud beepings could be heard in the canteen, and if patrons were to look around, they might have noticed OMGTKK Defense Secretary Charlie Valentine, lifting his right leg to tap on his ankle bracelet.

"Don't this thing ever shut up?" he queried, annoyingly, to himself.

Hailing a waitress, he grabbed a seat at a table, diverting his glance to the beverage cooler one of his regional counterparts had just visited. What the devil was The Palentine doing exporting Arrogant Bastard Ale?! he wondered. He'd have to have a chat with Brad about that later.

But it was no matter, as the show had already started. The Pussycat Dolls booming from the sound system, the Stripper Commandos had hijacked some real estate in the center of the floor to set up their portable stripper poles, which they now polished ever so erotically.

"Put some back into it, girls!" barked Cdr. Chiang as the performance continued. "We're competing with professional sluts in this territory!"

The short-skirted waitress hovered expectantly over the secretary as he drooled, alerting him to her presence with an impatient cough.

"Oh, sorry, doll," said Valentine, averting his eyes from the display for only a split-second. "Cans of Iron City, and keep 'em comin'."

The woman rolled her eyes and retreated to the bar.

Valentine resumed his drooling as the dance went on. He had a stack of ones at the ready, but he'd have to pound them Irons awful damn fast if the gals demanded Cluichstani currency ....
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HoratioSulla
Posted: Mar 24 2007, 11:36 AM


Kicker of Arse, and taker of names


Group: Daleks
Posts: 419
Member No.: 4
Joined: 9-February 06



OOC:Aki, we are strickly importers of Iron City™ , Old Frothingslosh™, and Moxie Cola™...the Kennyites supply Arrogant Bastard Ale™. wink.gif

IC: Senior Gunnery Sgt.(Ret) Harkness walked into the canteen and over to the bar. He looked around and gave a quick scowl to his fellow bar patrons. He sat a small laptop on the bar, and sat at a stool.
"Give me a Imp n' Arn, and keep them coming.",said the Gunny in his gravelly voice.
He then turned on the laptop and started to peruse Jane's Defense Weekly.
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Akimonad
Posted: Mar 24 2007, 03:43 PM


Generally awesome guy


Group: Members
Posts: 88
Member No.: 38
Joined: 17-December 06



QUOTE (HoratioSulla @ Mar 24 2007, 11:36 AM)
OOC:Aki, we are strickly importers of Iron City™ , Old Frothingslosh™, and Moxie Cola™...the Kennyites supply Arrogant Bastard Ale™. wink.gif

OOC:
No one tells me these things, and there's no quintessential list on the NSWiki for who supplies what. (There's an idea. An Introductory Guide to AO-Related Affairs)

I edited my post. You can't prove anything.

IC:
Major Boothroyd responded to Commander Nikrat. "No, just gearing up for the DEFCON Alliance we're trying to push. But yeah, we haven't had to fight a war in a while and it'd be fun. Stupid Undbagarten.

OOC: Anybody figured out where Major Boothroyd is from?
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Flibbleites
Posted: Mar 24 2007, 05:45 PM


Senior Officer


Group: Members
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Joined: 19-February 06



QUOTE (Akimonad @ Mar 24 2007, 01:43 PM)
OOC: Anybody figured out where Major Boothroyd is from?

OOC: Yes, his other name is shared by the character played by John De Lancie on Star Trek TNG, DS9 and Voyager.
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Akimonad
Posted: Mar 25 2007, 04:09 PM


Generally awesome guy


Group: Members
Posts: 88
Member No.: 38
Joined: 17-December 06



QUOTE (Flibbleites @ Mar 24 2007, 05:45 PM)
QUOTE (Akimonad @ Mar 24 2007, 01:43 PM)
OOC: Anybody figured out where Major Boothroyd is from?

OOC: Yes, his other name is shared by the character played by John De Lancie on Star Trek TNG, DS9 and Voyager.

OOC: I was thinking more along the lines of the AKA of Q in James Bond.

IC:
Major Boothroyd, viewing his portable internet tablet, rose suddenly.

"Hey everybody! UN Bio Agent Convention was passed! Free drinks on me!"

OOC: Akimonad is proud to introduce its line of Derivative Sodas™. They are Valley Frost (Mountain Dew), Don Paprika (Dr. Pepper), Moonhugg'd (Sunkist), Impale (Crush), Branch Ale (Root Beer), Cascade Fog (Sierra Mist) and Chocolate Milk.
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StEdmund
Posted: Mar 26 2007, 12:04 PM


Senior Officer


Group: Members
Posts: 148
Member No.: 11
Joined: 11-February 06



QUOTE (The Wolf Guardians @ Mar 23 2007, 10:43 AM)
Kyle couldn't for the life of him figure it out, be he suddenly wanted to chase Mr. Balthasar about the room. Instead he turned towards him and saluted. "Hi! I'm Kyle of the Commonwealth."

Colonel Balthasar returned the salute, in a fairly casual fashion, and then -- indicating the Stripper commandos who were gyrating in the middle of the floor -- enquired
"Can you tell me why those human women are twisting around like that? Are they on heat?"
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Allech-Atreus
Posted: Mar 26 2007, 03:15 PM


Arrogant Prick


Group: Members
Posts: 55
Member No.: 33
Joined: 5-September 06



While the huge space station hung in orbit, and the myriad members of the convention itself drunk themselves silly in the canteen, the assuredly diligent peons who worked the scanners noticed something interesting.

A blip on their scans, far off, was getting bigger. Bigger, and bigger, it seemed to be closing with the station. The peon was surely getting his superiors at the time.

Outside the station, on the blip itself, were thousands of Imperial soldiers, navymen, and officers manning the Imperial Fleet Ship Fist of Keltan, carefully cruising their way to the huge ball of doom that proudly bore the Cluichistani crab.

In his huge leather commander's chair, Lord Admiral Dragulic Beremandil steepled his fingers in front of his greying goatee, which was the style for all men of his rank. His XO stepped up and saluted.

"My Lord, we are now within communications range of the Death Star. Awaiting your orders."

The Lord Admiral rose from his seat, brushing his starched blue uniform and adjusting his insigniae.

"Open a channel."

* * *

On the Death Star itself, every available videoscreen suddenly went blank, and was replaced with an image of the stately Lord Admiral.

user posted image

"Attention. This is Lord Admiral Dragulic Beremandil of the Imperial Fleet Ship Fist of Keltan.

We have need of assistance. Our cargo hold happens to be overstocked with several thousands cases of Imperia Sapphire Whisky, and we have nowhere to put it.

Do you happen to have space?"
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Akimonad
Posted: Mar 26 2007, 03:21 PM


Generally awesome guy


Group: Members
Posts: 88
Member No.: 38
Joined: 17-December 06



A huge screen flickered to life on the wall of the canteen. As the man spoke, it seemed that the partying had paused.

"...Do you happen to have any space?"

Major Boothroyd looked at Commander Nikrat.

"Of course we have space. There's gotta be someplace we can put it." He yelled at the video screen. He then looked back at Commander Nikrat for approval.
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Cluichstan
Posted: Mar 26 2007, 03:41 PM


International Pariah


Group: Admin
Posts: 1,500
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Joined: 8-February 06



"Please, Major Boothroyd, there's no need to speak out of turn," Commander Nikrat said evenly.

He then turned his attention to the viewscreen on the wall. "Yes, Admiral, we have ample space. Your cargo ships may dock with this battlestation at your convenience. I will have our dock personnel prepare for your arrival and for your cargo. If you're sending any of your own personnel onboard, your shuttles are welcome to land in our hangar bays."

The commander began to return to his penne arrabiata but paused and returned his attention to the viewscreen. "Oh, and Admiral, next time you wish clearance like this, please file your request appropriately. Nikrat out."
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Akimonad
Posted: Mar 26 2007, 07:08 PM


Generally awesome guy


Group: Members
Posts: 88
Member No.: 38
Joined: 17-December 06



QUOTE (Cluichstan @ Mar 26 2007, 03:41 PM)
"Please, Major Boothroyd, there's no need to speak out of turn," Commander Nikrat said evenly.

"Ooh... once we get the Arkbird built..." Major Boothroyd muttered under his breath.

"Sorry. Whatever. Just trying to help." Boothroyd said to Commander Nikrat.

Boothroyd stumbled back over to the beverage cooler and took out a Fine Derivative™ Valley Frost soda. He sat back down and pulled up a drawing of a large space-faring ship on his personal internet tablet.

"Here's the Arkbird, artist's conception, in high-alitiude low-orbit." Boothroyd said, showing the picture to Nikrat. "It's fully armed with several turbolasers and one superlaser on the underside. It's under construction in an Undisclosed Location. Whaddya think? Anybody?"
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