Let It Be, ;;open (Rachel, possibly?)

[FINN ALEXANDER HUDSON]

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i'm not crazy, i'm just a little unwell
i know, right now you can't tell
but stay awhile and maybe then you'll see

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Finn sat in the choir room at the piano. He was alone. The lights were off, but he could still read the various music sheets spread out before him on top of the piano. He just felt so full of angst right now and needed to let it out. The way he felt he could do that was through music. When he was singing, all of his problems just disappeared. Life became simple like it was before all this high school junk kicked in. Plus, like the other billions of teenagers out there, he felt that lyrics said how you felt twenty times better than what you could ever express yourself as. There's a major difference between saying that your miserable and saying, "That [he] can live without you but / without you [he'll] be miserable at best.". Singers just always said things so much better. That's why Finn loved singing. How else could you express yourself in a world that seemed so repressed?

In football, Finn was always expected to be perfect. Everything was so uniform. If you didn't conform, you weren't on the team. As simple as that sounded, Finn didn't always like that. Yes, there were times when Finn loved being told what to do instead of being the leader and having to think for everyone else. As a leader, he always had all of these responsibilities. Everyone looked to him to make all of the decisions and everything. But now, Finn had embraced this. He was, in fact, going to focus on it. From now on, he planned on enjoying standing out in a crowd. Leadership was a part of his personality. It was a part of him. No longer would he shove it off. Or at least, that was his goal. Football focused on everyone doing the same thing, but New Directions was his chance to be different. It was a chance for him to embrace that part of himself that was meant to stand out.

Finn had never wanted to stand out like Rachel had in New Directions. He wasn't this born diva or anything. But yet, he was the popular guy and liked being the quarterback. Yeah, he was happy that he didn't always need attention, but he just needed to not care if he did get a little bit attention. Good attention, that is. He did not want any bad attention and wasn't about to get some. Uh uh, no way. Anyways, this was the new and improved Finn Hudson. He was even writing down ideas for mixing things up like they had at regionals. Tina hadn't sung a ballad since True Colors, it felt like. And what if Brittany and Artie, latest of the Glee couples, sang a duet? There was so much potential and, as a leader, Finn felt that they needed to share screen time more. Mercedes deserved a big number too. It was time to stop being selfish and be a leader. Even if he stood out, that would be a good thing. And maybe, just maybe, if Finn focused on all of this stuff, he could put his personal problems behind...

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a different side of me
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So I'm role playing with open, but Rachel would be great here and I'd just like to say nothing.
This boss template was made by GOOSEY; AT CAUTION 2.0 !? and I though you'd want to know. Oh, and the soundtrack, it's all MATCHBOX TWENTY!?

[RACHEL BARBRA BERRY]

IN THE HEART OF THE DEVASTATION, SHE'S A NATURAL DISASTER
the last of the american girls
TAG: finn | WORDS: idk. :] | WEARING: coming soon!
NOTES: and let the drama begin! ;]

Life had a funny way of throwing unexpected wrenches into Rachel's plans, but as any good actress would, she soldiered on. It wasn't for nothing that one of the main tenets of the theater world was that 'the show must go on,' and even though this particular wrench was painful, and highly upsetting, the petite young woman had done her best to pick herself up, dust herself off, and go on. Unfortunately, her idea of picking herself up, dusting herself off, and going on meant that she expected forgiveness to occur, and things to return to normal. It had yet to happen, and honestly, if she let herself look at it through objective eyes, she knew that it probably wasn't going to happen at any point soon, either. All of her attempts to get Finn to even look at her, let alone spend time with her, had gone terribly awry, and that just...it wasn't acceptable. Finn, however, had made it clear that he wanted nothing more than for her to back off and leave him alone, because he just wasn't ready to forgive her right now...if he was ever going to be ready to forgive her at all.

Which obviously had thrown another wrench into Rachel's life, because when she had a goal, she wasn't exactly keen to factor in other people's opinions of said goal, even when the person expressing opinions in said situation was sort of, kind of, the goal. Even though her head was telling her that it would be best for everyone if she heeded Finn's warning of sorts, the brunette was an intensely emotional person, and so, tended more to listen to her heart. And her heart was calling out, pleading to be healed, and in order for that to happen, she needed Finn to talk to her. Even if, after talking, he turned her away - oh God, she didn't like to think about being rejected again - then...she supposed she would at least have the closure that the relationship was really and truly over. But a few angrily-uttered sentences - which had been the extent of their exchanges since the incident, at least, in her opinion - did not a conversation make, and she wanted a conversation. She wanted them to talk logically and maturely about this whole thing, like two sophisticated adults.

Funny, right? Because her retaliatory action of making out with Puck had been so logical, mature, and sophisticated.

All the same, her breakup with Finn had rendered her even less a favorite among the Glee kids than she had been before, and she had once again taken to spending a lot of her time on school grounds - at least, the time that wasn't spent in class - in the choir room. Once again, the choir room had become her sanctuary, the place where she felt comfortable, part of something. For the most part, the room had been empty when she'd been in there, devoid of any of the other Glee kids, and most of the time, even free of Mr. Schue. But as she headed into the choir room that day, she realized too late that she wasn't the only person there. A very familiar figure sat at the piano, head bent over something, apparently hard at work. Alarm bells started ringing quietly in her brain, telling her to turn around, that this was neither the time nor the place to be engaging the quarterback again, not so soon after their last encounter - one that hadn't exactly gone well - but in typical Rachel Berry fashion, she ignored those bells. Quietly, she moved across the room and came to a stop on the opposite side of the piano, figuring that maybe it would make it easier to talk to her if there was something between them.

Y'know, other than the giant pink elephant in the room.

"Hi, Finn," she greeted him, nervously tucking a few strands of hair behind her ear, looking everywhere but directly at him.

[FINN ALEXANDER HUDSON]

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i'm not crazy, i'm just a little unwell
i know, right now you can't tell
but stay awhile and maybe then you'll see

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A click of the door opening was barely noticed by Finn. He was too distracted by his own thoughts to be paying to something mundane as another person in the room. Oh, you know, just his ex-girlfriend who had been trying to win him back since the break up. No big deal. Right. So, Finn was still flicking through his music, wondering what could best describe his sorry state of mind. Or maybe he shouldn't sing something like that? Maybe he could sing about his new change of mind. He could sing about being a new person. After all, he was determined to stop brooding on the past. So a song about his change of heart would be perfect. Maybe Peace of Mind by Boston wasn't right because he had found a peace that would hold for right now. No, instead, he felt that Here Comes the Sun by the Beatles was perfect for him right now.

The song was about seeing the sun after a long, hard journey, adventure, whatever. Finn felt like he'd been through something just like that. Now, he was going to see the light and be happy again. At least that's what he was determined to do. But just at that moment, he glanced up and saw Rachel. The light he was searching for was snuffed out like a candle immediately. All the hope was gone. He wanted to yell and scream and punch his hand through a wall. Anything that would make her leave. But he couldn't. In the back of his mind, there was piece of himself... a piece he despised.... nevertheless, a piece that still loved her. Was that love? That there would always be a part of himself that would still love him. Why did he have to suffer with this feeling? But he couldn't let that feeling grow anymore. She had destroyed it, or at least, she wished he had. She had destroyed him. He couldn't love her anymore, so he chose to ignore the feeling. If something wasn't there, it didn't exist, right? Well, maybe Finn could just make it go away. However endearing this girl made herself though, he knew that he would withstand it. Even if a part of him loved her, there was so much more of him that wanted to stay away from Rachel and having nothing to do with her.

He watched her pull strands of her hair back. She was so nervous. That was good. She should be nervous. After what had happened, she better be nervous. "Hi Finn." That was it. Just two words. They both pierced his heart and hardened it. Why did she have to pursue him in this way? Why couldn't she just let him get on with his life and move on? It would be so much easier. But right now, he was making headway at least. His desire to move on overrode his feelings for her. He'd be okay, even if he wasn't quite okay right now. Though, he had to wonder where Rachel would be in his future... As he looked her, he realized he was leaving an awkward silence that desperately needed to be filled. "Hey Rachel. How's it going?" he asked. He asked partly out of habit of being the good guy, but there was also a part of him that hoped that she'd moved on by now. Maybe she hadn't, but he was still going to be polite. How else would their relationship as... whatever they were, progress? He guessed that for the time being, it would be best to try and get things back to normal.... whatever normal was.... Would that work?

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a different side of me
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So I'm role playing with Rachel here and I'd just like to say nothing.
This boss template was made by GOOSEY; AT CAUTION 2.0 !? and I though you'd want to know. Oh, and the soundtrack, it's all MATCHBOX TWENTY!?

[RACHEL BARBRA BERRY]

IN THE HEART OF THE DEVASTATION, SHE'S A NATURAL DISASTER
the last of the american girls
TAG: finn | WORDS: idk. :] | WEARING: coming soon!
NOTES: omg, this kind of sucks. so many apologies for that! ;]

She had been beginning to think that maybe he was going to just give her the cold shoulder, hoping that she would tire of the silence and just leave the choir room without any further attempts at engaging him. But then, to her surprise, the silence was broken - not in the warmest way imaginable, by any stretch of the imagination, but broken nonetheless - and she couldn't help the flutter of hope that rose in her chest at the sound of his voice. It didn't take her long to realize, however, that that flutter was probably completely irrelevant, because there was no warmth in his words, nor was there any true invitation to conversation in them. Sure, he had asked her a question, but she could see from just looking at him - the first time she had looked him in the eye since walking in - that he most likely wasn't that interested in any answer that she might give. It was all a forced sort of pleasantry, and that knowledge hurt her. Once - not very long ago - there would have been nothing forced about their exchanges, and they would have existed comfortably in the same space. But since finding out that he had slept with Santana - an act which alone was upsetting, but which had been compounded by the fact that he had lied about having done it - and her own subsequent attempt at what she supposed could have been called revenge, there had been nothing comfortable about being in the same room as the former quarterback.

Well, there had been fleeting moments of comfort, but if she thought about it, they hadn't necessarily been comfortable so much as they had been slightly less tense. Judging by how this particular accidental encounter - and yes, it honestly was an accident this time, whether or not he would end up choosing to believe that - had gone thus far, this was not going to be one of those less-tense reprieves from the emotional turmoil they had jointly caused. (Because no, Rachel still had no plans to take sole responsibility for this, because it just wasn't only her fault, and she would defend that position forever if she had to, regardless of whether or not Finn ever decided to buck up and admit that maybe, just maybe, he was at least a little bit at fault in all of this, too.) Shifting from one foot to the other, redistributing her weight with each step, she rested her fingertips on the very edge of the piano, tapping the pads of her fingers lightly and silently against the shining black wood. "It's going well," she replied as airily as she could, hoping to keep the tone of the conversation from getting too close to the topics that inevitably would not go over well, hoping to perhaps establish a companionable enough atmosphere that maybe the topic of them could be bridged later. (Okay, maybe she was being a little sneaky, and planning on trying to lull him into a false sense of security then sneaking it in there without him realizing it, but there was a little voice in the back of her head that was telling her that was probably the most harebrained scheme she'd come up with in awhile.)

She probably should have just been happy with the fact that he had acknowledged her presence and hadn't just stalked out the second she'd made her presence known, but, well, no one ever said that Rachel Berry was one to settle for anything, especially when it was something (she thought) she wanted. Badly. "How...are things going with you? I...hope I didn't interrupt anything...I didn't realize there was going to be anyone in here now...there usually isn't..." Her voice trailed off again, and she mentally cursed herself for going on even a mild ramble tangent. She needed to maintain control of her faculties, which meant not allowing herself to sound like a complete and utter spaz. Continuing to tap her fingers against the lid of the piano, redirecting her gaze down at her reflection in its surface. "And since the lights were off, I...really didn't realize that there was anyone in here...I...I could...leave, if I'm interrupting something...or..." She paused, noticing that there was music spread out in front of him, and that he held a pencil in his hand. "Are...are you working on Glee things? I...we...maybe could work on it together? Since, you know, we're equally responsible...you know, for the club, because we're still co-captains..." Once again, she trailed off, looking back down at the piano. It had been a long time since Rachel had felt so unsure of anything, and she was slowly remembering just how much she hated that feeling.

[FINN ALEXANDER HUDSON]

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i'm not crazy, i'm just a little unwell
i know, right now you can't tell
but stay awhile and maybe then you'll see

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There was no way that Finn was admitting to anything. What he had done with Santana and what she had done with Puck were completely different and could not be compared. Finn had slept with Santana when Rachel was dating Jesse (a huge mistake on her part). Then she had lied and said they did it. He had did and lied about not doing it. He had not been mad when he found out Rachel had lied. She should have only been a little bit mad about finding out he had lied. But no, she had made it this huge major thing and insisted on counseling. Then she tried to make him hurt... by cheating on him and almost sleeping with the guy who had let his last girlfriend cheat on him (and get pregnant). The problem was that Rachel hadn't been the one to stop Puck from going all the way. She was ready to give it all away. Puck had stopped her. Finn had been there-- losing his virginity just to make someone (um, Rachel) jealous. He had never regretted something more. That's why he had lied about it. Knowing that she almost did the same thing? In such a similar context to Quinn? To make him hurt? This was not his fault. If she couldn't see that, he didn't know how they'd ever patch things up to even manage a friendship.

He watched her as she shifted her weight. Her nervousness almost made him sorry for his thoughts, but the cold logic told him no. He was right. "It's going well." A simple statement, but he didn't really believe it. There was something she was keeping back trying to keep stuff light, but he knew it wasn't going well. She wouldn't be acting so nervous around him if it were. Her next statements halted as if her brain refused to think in complete sentences for speech. How to react? He could be gallant. He could be cruel. But no, he chose to be nice. Because that was his resolution: to be the good guy and take the higher road. And Rachel was a part of this too (kind of unfortunately though).. "Things have been better, but I'm working on getting them back to that state," her told her in a stoic voice. He glanced up for a second, but lost his nerve to make a eye contact and looked back down. "The choir room is your place too, so don't apologize about interrupting." Finn wasn't sure what he even meant by this, but it sounded right. He was just trying to take the high road without tripping on his words. Was he doing a good job? He really had no idea...

And so, Rachel's attempt at making conversation continued. Though, he found it unusual that she could not string words together. Rachel Berry, who was usually so filled with confidence, seemed to have next to none in this moment. It was odd and Finn did not know what to make of it to be honest. Suggesting that she could help? Wasn't that what got them in trouble last time?! Why would she do this? She always suckered him in for the good of Glee Club, but then used it for her own goals. However, he might be able to throw her off a bit this time, if she helped. This would be about putting others in the spotlight, not herself. And even if he did not care to work with her, she did deserve a say in what happened. "Well, as co-captain, I should tell you that I am organizing a list," Finn told her. "This list includes ideas of how to mix things up in Glee like we did with sectionals. Puck and Santana could do a duet. Mercedes could have a ballad for the first time since last year before sectionals and more." He pushed away the pages of music that he had been debating over to sing. He hoped for an excuse in the next few weeks to sing a song like the ones he'd been thinking of. All that remained was a few papers with these ideas. Finn glanced up at Rachel to gauge her reaction. "What do you think?"

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a different side of me
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So I'm role playing with Rachel here and I'd just like to say your post was fine!.
This boss template was made by GOOSEY; AT CAUTION 2.0 !? and I though you'd want to know. Oh, and the soundtrack, it's all MATCHBOX TWENTY!?

[RACHEL BARBRA BERRY]

IN THE HEART OF THE DEVASTATION, SHE'S A NATURAL DISASTER
the last of the american girls
TAG: finn | WORDS: idk. :] | WEARING: coming soon!
NOTES: and let the drama begin! ;]

The comment that "things had been better" was probably the understatement of the century, and while the second half of that statement raised a momentary flicker of hope in her heart, she quelled it; chances were, he didn't mean it the way she hoped he did, the way she would have meant it had she said it. Trying her best to keep an expression of yearning from her face, she simply chose to nod. For another few moments, the space between them was filled with silence, and Rachel was this close to wishing that some kind of idea would just drop out of the air and present itself to bring the awkward silence to an end, even if it was just for a few seconds. When just such a thing came in the form of the revelation that he was working on a list for Glee, Rachel got the feeling that this could go one of two ways: it could either begin to bridge the gap that had torn itself open between them, or it could blow up in her face as so many other decisions had in the past year or so.

But positive thoughts were the key to positive results, and so, if she decided that it would be a successful afternoon, then it would be a successful afternoon, devoid of any more devastatingly terrible interactions between them. The brunette tentatively crossed around the piano, moving towards the bench, as he started giving a little bit more of an explanation as to what he was currently doing, about the contents of the list he was currently penning. Mixing things up...well, Rachel still didn't think it was the greatest idea in the world, because clearly, it had been the 'mixing things up' that had led to them simply tying with Dalton's Warblers instead of beating them outright, but the least she could do was hear him out before she expressed her own thoughts on the subject. And honestly, she had had every intention of actually doing that - until she heard him mention Santana singing a duet with Puck. Her mouth promptly fell open, and her eyes widened.

Really?

Had he really just gone there, when she had been trying so hard to keep from bringing up anything remotely attached to the whole fiasco that was hanging over their heads, and so nonchalantly, nonetheless? What could be possibly have been thinking? He obviously knew just how sore a spot Santana was for her (and how insecure the thought of the fiery Latina cheerleader made her, though she would never again admit that out loud for fear that that knowledge would eventually be used against her as a way to remove her from the only position of power she actually legitimately held; if it was concretely acknowledged that Rachel Berry was wildly intimidated and made to feel irrelevant and so very, very unattractive by Santana Lopez, then God only knew what would happen. But, being Rachel, she could come up with all of the most horrible scenarios, and she could do it in record time.) And so, she just stared, wide-eyed and basically horrified, at Finn. While she supposed she could get behind Noah being featured - he was probably the second-most talented boy in Glee, after all, and had a way of charming people - and she had been willing to step aside in favor of Mercedes singing a ballad until their setlist had been hijacked by Ms. Sylvester, thereby necessitating an impromptu overhaul basically right before they went onstage, there was no way in hell she would ever be able to support Santana getting featured again.

"Well, if we're truly mixing things up," she began as calmly and as noncommittally as she could, "then wouldn't that mean allowing perhaps...Tina, or Brittany, to sing something? Since they weren't featured at Sectionals...well, I suppose Brittany was, but for dance, which could mean she could be afforded a solo, or at least, some kind of vocal feature. That is, unless she'd prefer to dance again. Noah would perhaps be more than amenable to being featured, as long as we found a song that coincided with his wishes only to sing songs popularized by artists of Jewish descent. Mercedes, also, should probably receive reimbursement of a sort for having had her chance at a ballad revoked upon the discovery that our setlist had been leaked and copied at the hands of Ms. Sylvester." She tried to keep her sentences as formal as possible, her "professional" voice, if you would, so as hopefully to disguise the fact that she was mostly just trying to vehemently deny Santana any further featured performances, at least for now. True enough, the other girl had a voice. But Rachel Berry was a champion grudge-holder, and there was no way she was going to just roll over and let her, of all people, usurp her rightful place as most-featured performer.

Hey, the fact that she was thinking of others enough that she would consider featuring Mercedes and Noah wasn't good enough? She was trying, she was. But she hadn't grown enough yet to allow the Cheerio consecutive solos. If she had her way, she would never be featured again. But of course, that wouldn't really happen, because Mr. Schue wasn't stupid, and would probably catch on and once again stifle her own talent in favor of boosting the egos of the others. "Maybe Artie and Brittany would like to sing together. I would also be glad to sing something with Mercedes. Or perhaps Tina would like to sing with Mercedes again...they sounded quite good after Sectionals..." Here was hoping the self-promotion had been veiled enough that he wouldn't immediately veto it, but...well, she was self-serving more often than not, and everyone knew it. But it wouldn't stop her from trying, now would it?

[FINN ALEXANDER HUDSON]

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i'm not crazy, i'm just a little unwell
i know, right now you can't tell
but stay awhile and maybe then you'll see

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Finn watched Rachel as she slowly sat down next to him. Her face gave little away with snatches of emotion here and there until after he told her what he was doing. Her mouth fell open into a look of horror after he had finished his suggestions. At first, Finn thought that this was simply because Rachel wouldn't be featured as much. However, this seemed a little too extreme for Rachel and he was really at odds as to why she was so upset. It never occurred to him that carelessly mentioning Santana's name had caused her look. At this point, he wasn't blaming Puck or Santana for anything. The problems were between Rachel and Finn. There was no need to draw anyone else in or blame anyone else. They were simply pawns in this situation and Finn had forgiven them because he was like that. Rachel holding a grudge against Santana was absolutely ridiculous to Finn. "What? I don't understand why you're looking at me like that," he reprimanded her. He was genuinely puzzled, though he wasn't sure if he wanted to know what he had done this time. If she really wanted to have a conversation with him, she could at least be civilized towards him instead of staring.... or was that too rude?

Yeah, he had definitely done something wrong, Finn decided as Rachel prattled on and on about different people to sing. Though she seemed to be focusing on solos only. A lot of songs the Glee Club sang were duets focusing on two soloists backed up by everyone. He almost said something, but then she kept going with her own ideas about duets as well. He was glad that he hadn't said something. Interrupting Rachel in mid-thought? Yeah, it never had a good turn out. Ever. So instead, Finn decided to keep their working relationship going. He continued to scribble down her ideas in slightly illegible handwriting. He read through the new ideas, noting who was left out. "Hmm, that leaves Mike, Sam, Quinn, and Santana still with no ideas," he told her. He hit the eraser against the table a few times, thinking. "Maybe Mike would like to do a solo since he never got his lead role in Rocky Horror. And Quinn, Santana and Brittany could sing a song together since they're the cheerios. Though Quinn does deserve a ballad... That would be interesting, for sure. And maybe Sam could sing a ballad or the football guys could do something? I don't know about that one." Things were kept very productive and business-like it seemed. He could only hope this was working.

There was a shaky piece at the moment, but Finn had to control every muscle in his body to keep from doing something he'd regret. He felt this need to do something. He wasn't sure if it was to kiss Rachel or if it was to slap her. What he did know was that neither action would do him any good, so he just had to sit there with every hair standing on end. But his curiosity go the better of him in one area. "Why are you doing this?" he asked her after a few moment's hesitation and some awkward silence. She had so many ideas, but why? This was Rachel Berry. She wanted to be the star all the time. She shouldn't be this helpful! He didn't understand... "How are you so okay that you won't be the lead singer? Why do you have so many ideas when you were the one who disliked putting other people in the lead for the group?" He really just wanted to know. He had no problem with this, of course. He hadn't always been the lead when Jesse had joined the school. He thought that there was a lot of talent that needed to be showcased to keep people interested. But Rachel? She was much more self-centered than that. As the star, it had to be about her. He knew this and normally embraced it. Which was why he had no idea why she was acting like this... Was it to impress him? Had she lost her star power? Despite himself, Finn was slightly concerned...

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a different side of me
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So I'm role playing with Rachel here and I'd just like to say drama!.
This boss template was made by GOOSEY; AT CAUTION 2.0 !? and I though you'd want to know. Oh, and the soundtrack, it's all MATCHBOX TWENTY!?

[RACHEL BARBRA BERRY]

IN THE HEART OF THE DEVASTATION, SHE'S A NATURAL DISASTER
the last of the american girls
TAG: finn | WORDS: idk. :] | WEARING: coming soon!
NOTES: meh, idk. not my best.

As was often Rachel-custom, she completely ignored Finn's comment about being confused as to the reason for her current facial expression. If he didn't recognize that the topic of Santana was a delicate one, a touchy one, then she had no plans to tell him so. Well, she wanted to. She wanted to look him right in the eyes and tell him just what she thought of that slutty, slutty cheerleader with her long legs and dark hair and evil eyes, but she was growing. She was growing, and she would be a big person, and she would keep those thoughts to herself for just a little while longer. Really, she would, and she would be good at it, and she would prove to Finn that she was becoming a better person, and he would finally remember why they had been so happy together in the first place. If he would just forgive her for her little transgression with Puck - couldn't he give her credit for at least going to a guy who had picked up the slack in her own bad judgment and had prevented anything from happening? Yes, in the back of her mind, she knew that that was a completely illogical thought, and that it certainly wasn't really an excuse, or a reason for him to forgive her, but she wanted it to be - then she could forgive him his transgression with Santana, and everything would be back to the way it was.

At least, that had been the plan.

"Perhaps something can be chosen for Mike that will equally divide the workload between vocal work and dance, because while he volunteered to perform in Rocky Horror, he also seems to be at his most confident when he's dancing. Perhaps he and Brittany might like to do 'Sixteen Going on Seventeen,' from The Sound of Music. It would allow them to sing, as well as dance, and it could lead into a larger number, like 'So Long, Farewell,' that could include the rest of the club as well." It wasn't that Rachel had never had ideas that could showcase the rest of the club; it had always been more that she wanted to spend more time thinking about the things that would showcase her. But considering that she liked to consider herself an expert, she had obviously also known lots of things which had the potential to evolve into something truly striking; she'd just never really paid that much attention to the little pearls of inspiration that had popped into her little head. "Maybe something like that could be doubled-up also to include Sam and Quinn. After all...Sam would certainly look the part of Rolf, with his blonde hair and blue eyes." She shrugged, as if to say 'okay, I've suggested things, the ball's in your court now,' and looked at the paper on which he was writing.

Her attention was diverted, however, by his sudden explosion of incredulous questions. Silently, she listened to them. She looked at him as he asked them, trying to maintain as calm an exterior as possible, before waiting for him to finish the barrage. Taking a deep breath, the petite girl folded her hands in her lap, and looked down for a moment before looking back up at him. "I'm doing this because it's expected for the co-captains of the club to co-exist and work together on things, and to brainstorm and come up with ideas that will be serious contenders for the Regionals setlist," she answered slowly. "And because...I thought...it would help." She paused again, as she considered the other questions he had shot at her. Why did she have so many ideas? It was as though they had all just come spouting out of her, some of them even sounded like she'd seriously been considering them for awhile. As far as she knew, consciously, she hadn't been thinking about what it would mean to put other people in the spotlight - mostly because she was consciously still denying that her time as the most-featured soloist was finished, or at least, in serious jeopardy - but she supposed that subconsciously, she really did want what was best for the club as a whole.

She'd just always sort of truly believed that she was what was best for the club.

"I'm not okay with it!" she exclaimed, before she could stop herself - any good intentions that might have been pooling in her brain eclipsed by the painful admission - and she stood up, moving back around to the other side of the piano. "But I'm trying, Finn. I'm trying to be a better teammate, because if I'm not, then..." her voice trailed off, and she reconsidered the path her impending monologue was going to take. "No one likes me. Quinn hates me, no one really talks to me except to tell me that I'm annoying or that I should just have my vocal chords removed, or for Mr. Schue to tell me that I have to be more of a team player, and that things can't always be about me, or to tell me how stupid I look. I don't have you anymore, and I know that I made a stupid decision, but...this club, being the star? It was all I had. It was the only thing that made me feel like I was making an imprint on high school that didn't involve me holding the record for being the most-slushied girl in the history of McKinley." The torrent of words poured from her faster than she knew she even wanted to say them, and when she was finished, she leaned against the piano again. "And...I thought...that maybe, if I did something to think about other people...then..."

Tugging uncomfortably at the hem of her skirt, she shook her head. "I have ideas because I know musicals. I know what could and couldn't work with this group. I just...I always thought that it was me that would make things good here. I thought my charisma and natural ability to charm an audience would be what helped bring Glee back to meaning something. But...the other girls...they're mostly...all...talented. And they're classically pretty, and popular, and smart, and...I'm losing hold of the only things I've ever had that made me stand out from everyone else. I'm not special anymore. And I...I don't know how to deal with that."

[FINN ALEXANDER HUDSON]

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i'm not crazy, i'm just a little unwell
i know, right now you can't tell
but stay awhile and maybe then you'll see

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Finn noticed that Rachel had skipped over Santana once again and wondered why. Was she mad about Santana? He really was not very good with girls. Yes, he was a gentleman to the ladies and that generally attracted them to him. But it came to what they were thinking and how to read them? He was okay with the girls he knew well. He thought he knew Rachel well. But right now? He was getting more mixed signals than a Michigan driver who was trying to do a "Michigan U-turn" which isn't even a u-turn it turns out. Michigan... weird state... Finn brought his focus in as he wrote down both her ideas and his ideas so that Santana would be included no matter what. Was this why Rachel was mad? Something with Santana? Rachel had forgive Finn for sleeping with Santana though. She had realized that he was in the right because he wasn't with Rachel then. He wronged her by lying. But then... that was after the whole Puck-cheating-on-him thing, right? So had she only forgiven him because she had her little revenge? But then, she wouldn't be trying to get him back, right? He was so confused! He desperately wanted to ask her and clear up his questions and confusion. However, this shaky peace between them was not worth breaking in order to clear his mind.

Finn regretted his questions almost immediately. He had asked too much of her in such a short period of time. Had he destroyed their shaky peace? Probably. He started to say that she didn't have to answer, but Rachel was already off and running. It wasn't surprising. Talking about herself? It was one of Rachel's favorite past times. He knew the suggestions were done. They would have to call a meeting to talk about Regionals sometime soon. Now, though? Yes, Rachel would answer her questions, but she would also have an underlying motive in doing so. She wanted them to be Finn and Rachel, the happy couple, once again. He knew that she would stuff to make him feel like getting back together with her. He had to be on his guard and not fall for it. He wasn't great at telling pretty girls no, especially when there were sad stories to go along with it. Finn was strong though. He had to keep the part of him that loved her at bay and remember everything else. Quinn cheated on him with Puck and had his baby. Finn had thought the baby was his because she hadn't been able to tell him the truth. It had nearly destroyed him when he found out. Rachel had wanted to hurt him. To hurt him bad. Guess what? She had. She cheated on him with Puck. No, she didn't get as far as Quinn. But if anything, this hurt even more because she had wanted to hurt him.

Finn couldn't be with someone like that. To want to hurt someone? That was just cruel and unacceptable. It was wrong. Didn't people go through enough with the lemons that life always handed people? Not to mention, accidental stuff that hurt people? But to add to that on purpose? To be honest, Finn would never understand that. But then, he couldn't hurt a fly if he tried. That's just the kind of person Finn was and he never wanted to hurt someone on purpose. Was he being a bit stubborn with this? Probably. However, he was in the right. He decided who he associated with and he didn't want to be strongly associated with someone who could hurt people intentionally so easily. How did he know that she wouldn't hurt him again? The possibility was too strong. Finn focused back on Rachel. "I'm not okay with it!" Finn looked up sharply from the paper to meet Rachel's eyes with this. They softened slightly, but otherwise, Finn kept his face stoic. He didn't want to betray emotion. He didn't believe that emotions were a sign of weakness normally, but in this case? Definitely. He did not want to give Rachel a reason to start begging him to let back into his life. Instead, he listened to her whole speech with a measured silence and a few nods when appropriate.

Finn had to take a few moments to gather his thoughts because whatever he said to Rachel, he had to make sure he said it right. She was not going to misinterpret his words. His first reaction to her was pity and an almost need to put his arms around her and comfort her. Thankfully, his self-control kicked in and Finn didn't do something he would regret later. Instead, he spoke. "Rachel, you still are the star. Everyone in New Directions, including myself knows that we will never live up to the singing ability and talent you consistently perform with. It's true that most of them won't admit it, but deep down? They know it. It's like with football. We have a really great wide end receiver who's a senior this year. He's the star of the team, I'd say. But do I pick plays that only feature my star? Absolutely not because then he'd never get a chance to show people what's he's made of and the other teams would just clobber him. Instead I feature everyone, even I use my wide end a little bit more. Glee has to work the same way. We feature everyone because it's a team that's singing, not just one person. By featuring everyone, we not only please them, but we also show off what we have. However, they aren't comparable to you. It makes you like a diamond in the rough because you are so bright and so good. As long as you believe that you are the star, you will be. You know, you have really great ideas when you're thinking about other people. You might want to try it more often." Finn left it at that. He could only hope that he said the right thing somewhere in all of those words.

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a different side of me
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So I'm role playing with Rachel here and I'd just like to say I don't feel I can do just to the great post you just wrote.
This boss template was made by GOOSEY; AT CAUTION 2.0 !? and I though you'd want to know. Oh, and the soundtrack, it's all MATCHBOX TWENTY!?

[RACHEL BARBRA BERRY]

IN THE HEART OF THE DEVASTATION, SHE'S A NATURAL DISASTER
the last of the american girls
TAG: finn | WORDS: idk. :] | WEARING: coming soon!
NOTES: so sorry this is short; I was running out of battery and time. :[

It was the first time he had looked her directly in the eye without complete and total disdain, and even though his expression was far from warm, far from the adoring gaze he had directed onto her before, she thought that maybe, just maybe, she had been able to detect just a little bit of...something. Kindness, perhaps? (Entirely possible, because Finn's heart was full of kindness, even when he was hurt and angry.) But she wasn't going to dwell on it - at least, not right now. She might ponder it and analyze it later, but in this particular moment, she couldn't afford to talk about it, just in case he hadn't realized he had even done it...or in case she had imagined the expression - and so, as loath as she was to do it, she broke the connection of their gazes by looking back down while he began to talk.

She really hadn't intended for this to become some sort of pity-party, she really hadn't, but the things that Finn was saying, the way he was trying to placate her - well, they made her happy. Sure, Rachel knew that her utter need for validation and admiration was somewhat of a character flaw - but couldn't everything be considered a flaw if one thought about it enough? - but somehow, hearing those things from him even when she knew that she was hardly atop his list of favorite people at the moment, they actually meant something. She had become all too used to people saying things she knew they only half-meant - she was fairly certain that Mr. Schue only said some of the things he did because he knew they would appease her for at least a short while, and some of the teachers she'd had in the past had just been unsure how to deal with her particular brand of talent and ability, and so, they had just issued stock compliments and encouragements that they gave everyone.

Finn, though. The young starlet was pretty certain that Finn could never do that, even if he tried. He was too genuine, too kind, too good for that. (And yes, even though she was still very, very hurt that he hadn't felt the need to tell her that he had slept with Santana - and of course, that he had slept with Santana at all, but more that he just hadn't told her and had let her make a fool of herself - she wasn't going to begrudge him that fundamentally, he was a good guy.) The football analogy may have been a little bit lost on her - sports had never been her strong suit - but when it came down to it, she supposed she knew what he was trying to say. "It doesn't feel that way," she said quietly, and while part of her berated herself for how childish she sounded, the other...well, the other had been conditioned to be childish and self-serving, and that wasn't exactly soemething you were able to kick just because your boyfriend broke up with you.

"But...thank you, I guess. I mean...you didn't have to say those things. I really wasn't fishing for anything, you could have just ignored me, but...you didn't. So...thank you," she said, the words coming out in somewhat of a stammering rush (if such a thing was possible), and she found that she was actually blushing a little bit. Whether it was from pleasure or shame, she wasn't wholly sure. But the fact of the matter was that she felt a little bit better...although she wouldn't feel totally better until she was featured again, and that shouldn't have been a surprise to anyone. "I do try...and given more time, I could perhaps come up with several more possibilities..." She was really trying. She was.

[FINN ALEXANDER HUDSON]

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i'm not crazy, i'm just a little unwell
i know, right now you can't tell
but stay awhile and maybe then you'll see

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Right now, Finn's life was completely centered around Rachel. Yes, he might not be her biggest fan, but everything had to do with Rachel. Even when he met some new girl named May, he couldn't keep his thoughts off of Rachel. What was it with her? What made her so special to him? Just the fact that he had been (was?) in love with her? Regardless, this focus meant that he paid close attention to every single word. "It doesn't feel that way." If only it were easy to make her see, but he knew better. That was thing. When in love, you had to accept the person's failings as well as their goodness. Finn knew Rachel and knew she wasn't going to completely understand. It would probably take months of explaining day after day before she started to feel that way. She was a star. A diva. That's how she saw it. And as much as he might have wanted to change it, it was a part of Rachel's personality that would never change. Maybe that was good. Maybe that was bad. He couldn't really decide.

He clicked his fingers on the piano top as he turned away for second. His thoughts were too mixed up. He didn't want to show her that he truly was confused about all of this. Even his rebukes, he questioned from time to time. Instead, he listened to every single word, taking it all in. It was stuff he knew for the most part. He appreciated that she hadn't thrown herself at him quite yet, but this side of Rachel was so vulnerable... lacking confidence... it just didn't feel like her. That small part of him he despised wanted to make it right and put her back where she had been: on top of the world and in Finn's arms. But he wasn't ready for that and it was going to take much more time. He didn't know if it would ever be the same truly. Even so, he could be nice to Rachel. She deserved that much at least. "It may not feel like it," he told her, glancing back at her now. "It may feel different. But you're still the star. Nothing's changed really. You're still co-captain. Your voice still amazing. I know it's hard, but you really do have to appreciate what you have." He trailed off into silence for a moment, thinking. Maybe that wasn't quite what he wanted to say. But it had already been said at this point.

Feelings could just be so confusing. Finn wished that he didn't have to deal with them, but he had too many feelings for that. So, instead, he had to embrace them and follow what they told him to do. However, the current sea of conflicting emotions was really overwhelming him. It was quite annoying to be honest. Still, Finn trudged on. "You're welcome. And I know you weren't asking anything. Just because we're not together doesn't mean I absolutely do not care. I could never ignore you. I'm not a mean person like that, Rachel, and you know it." It was true at least. Finn did care. He might even care more than Rachel thought. He knew he cared more than he wanted to admit to himself. But that was Finn. He was really too nice of a person to do anything other than say the stuff he just had. He glanced back at her to meet her eyes for a few seconds before continuing. "I really appreciate you trying. You've done ten times better than I have with your knowledge of musicals. You'll get even better too, I'm sure." He forgot himself for a moment and gave an eager smile. All he had to do was reach out for her hand and it would be like old times.... except it wasn't old times. And it didn't work like that anymore.

There. He'd said really as much as he could at this point on the subject of Rachel. He was ready to think on other topics or just distract himself. He glanced at the music sheets laying on the piano that he'd been fumbling through earlier. What he had really wanted to do was sing at the time. In fact, he still wanted to sing at that moment. But Rachel was there. But she was a great singer. They hadn't sung together since before their little mess had been made. Could they clean it up with a song? She hadn't sung lately... And in Finn's mind, singing was the best kind of medicine. Would he be to forward by asking? Maybe, but... by this time, the idea had taken to seed. He had to. "Um.. would you perhaps, er... like to sing a duet with me? Something to make us feel more in tune with each other despite our.... um, differences?" It really was a shot in the dark, but Finn had taken bigger leaps of faith. This was really no different. "Wasn't there that song about starting over in the Jesus Christ Superstar movie?" Rachel had made Finn watch a lot of musicals with her when they were together... He'd been surprised to watch Jesus Christ Superstar because Rachel was Jewish, but apparently the composer, Andrew Lloyd Something, was a god or something in the music world. He quickly added, "Or something you think would be good. You know music better than I do." There, he'd saved face and hopefully made Rachel feel a little bit about herself. But he just hoped he hadn't done too much...

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a different side of me
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So I'm role playing with Rachel here and I'd just like to say I have exams this week so I probably won't be able to reply until Friday. Sorry!.
This boss template was made by GOOSEY; AT CAUTION 2.0 !? and I though you'd want to know. Oh, and the soundtrack, it's all MATCHBOX TWENTY!?

[RACHEL BARBRA BERRY]

IN THE HEART OF THE DEVASTATION, SHE'S A NATURAL DISASTER
the last of the american girls
TAG: finn | WORDS: 855 | WEARING: coming soon!
NOTES: no worries, bb! take your time! ;]

Of course he wasn’t a mean person.

And that was the main reason that all of this was so hard. He was a kind, considerate, warm, and sweet person who had made a mistake, but for Rachel Berry to admit that she had been the one who was wrong was the hardest thing in the world, and even though the realization that that was the truth was dawning on her more and more every day, it would have been to effectively crush every single one of the things she understood about herself to admit it and take the full blame. (Not to mention, she hadn’t yet come to terms with the fact that this all could be her having blown it all out of proportion, and so it hadn’t yet dawned on her that she might ever have to take the full blame, so at the moment, she was definitely not planning to take it when she didn’t think she actually had to.) Yes, Rachel’s mind was occasionally a very confusing place, so if someone was able to follow the train of thought that had transpired there, well, good for them.

When he looked up at her again, his warm hazel eyes finding her brown ones, then explained that she had actually been helpful in her suggestions…and then, when he smiled…Rachel’s heart leapt in her chest. True, that one smile didn’t mean that they had overcome the issues that still existed between them – no, that elephant was still in the room, would be for awhile, but it wasn’t so pink, and it wasn’t so big, and it seemed like maybe, just maybe, there was a light at the end of the tunnel for them, even if that tunnel would only lead to the rekindling of a friendship between them. (Deep in her heart, Rachel wanted so much more than just his friendship, but as she had learned quite painfully in the last few weeks, what she wanted sometimes was beyond her reach – even if she was willing to reach until she fell and hurt herself. Maybe she deserved to be hurt a little bit.) But the smile…it was progress, even if he hadn’t realized that he had let it through.

His slightly-uncomfortable request for a song took her by surprise – he knew how she got when she sang, didn’t he? Or had he suppressed the memory of the first time he had come to Glee rehearsal, and she had pretty much charged him during “You’re the One That I Want?” – but she was Rachel Berry, and Rachel Berry never turned down a chance to sing. Ever. Especially recently, since she hadn’t exactly gotten many opportunities to do so. And so, she looked towards the tall quarterback and smiled shyly, nodding. “That would be nice,” she replied simply, doing her best to rein in the fact that she was all but glowing at the suggestion, and her smile could only widen when he mentioned Jesus Christ Superstar. She hadn’t been all that sure he had been paying attention when she’d made him watch it, but apparently, he had not only been paying attention, he had retained some of the information. Which meant he had to have been paying attention.

“There was,” she confirmed with a nod, already moving towards the filing cabinet that held sheet music and scores for various musicals. After scanning the contents of the drawer marked ‘H-K,’ she retrieved the one for Jesus Christ Superstar, and moved back towards the piano. “’Could We Start Again, Please?’” As she spoke the title, she couldn’t help the little pang that she felt. It was all she wanted, to start over, to erase the events of the last few weeks, and to go back to how they’d been before. Happy. Content. Together. Deep down, did he perhaps want the same thing? He couldn’t have just chosen that song – not featured on the Brown Album recording of the show, but performed in every production that graced the stage, and in both versions of the show that had been released on film – out of nowhere, after all, and…maybe she was getting ahead of herself, but the song was a personal favorite, and the fact that he had remembered it from their viewing…maybe it had made an impression upon him as well.

Another shy smile, and she shook her head slowly. “I think it’s a good song…and I think you’ve learned a lot about musicals, so you should be very proud of yourself,” she added. “Would you…like me to try to play it…or…would you like to sing a cappella? I highly doubt Mr. Schue has an accompaniment-only recording lying around, and if he does, I highly doubt that we would be able to find it,” she said, an attempt at a light joke. As she awaited his answer, she found that her stomach had begun to do little flipflops, and she was…she was actually nervous about this. Shifting her weight from one foot to the other again, she tugged at the hem of her skirt. This was his idea, she reminded herself. This was his idea. He wanted this.

[FINN ALEXANDER HUDSON]

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i'm not crazy, i'm just a little unwell
i know, right now you can't tell
but stay awhile and maybe then you'll see

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There were times when Finn had to wonder what came over him. Sing a duet with Rachel? Bad idea! Red flag! But Rachel just standing there, looking sad.... It wasn't even his fault, but he felt a responsibility to cheer her up. Truth be told, he would have felt it necessary to cheer anyone up who looked as sad as Rachel had been. She felt like she was losing the one thing was actually hers. The one thing that made her unique. The part of him that was still angry wanted to point out that she had wanted him to give up what made him unique. He was the quarterback. That made him special because no one else started as quarterback except for him. Yeah, Sam had been when Finn got kicked off for a short time. But now? That position was his and no one else's now. At the time when so much had been going right for Finn, it was Rachel, his not-so-supportive girlfriend, who wanted him to leave football in the past. She had wanted him to choose her over popularity. It really was a bad idea though. His weakness was how others saw him: his popularity. He could never have jeopardized something that made him so vulnerable. So he had stayed the quarterback instead of being the same social status as Rachel. He had been lucky they hadn't broken up then. But wouldn't that have been easier than the mess he was in now?

They had worked it out then. He had understood why Rachel had asked him to quit football at the time and easily forgave her. But now, a flash of anger came over him that she was moaning over something that she had asked him to do for her just a few months previous. Annoyed, he pushed the emotion away. Negative emotions like that never lasted long with Finn anyhow. But really, why complain about the past now? He needed to focus on the present. He was trying to make someone feel better because that's what Finn Hudson did. Always concerned about others, he made people happy. He just couldn't stand when people were upset or unhappy. That was just a part of his personality. A lot of people liked and appreciated that. Though, to be honest, Finn wasn't sure if he agreed with those people. Sometimes his do-gooder personality could be pretty exhausting and get him into trouble. This view was why it seemed like that part of him was deteriorating, which was why Finn wanted to put more effort into being a do-gooder again. He just needed to be less scared of himself and more sure of his actions. It was hard, yes. It was easier said than done, yes. But in the end, it would all be worth it. Rachel hadn't sung just for fun in a while, so he was giving her that opportunity. He wanted it to make her happier and less sad. He didn't want any subtle, underlying messages because that just wasn't him. Hopefully, she understood.

At the very least, Rachel had agreed to his suggestion with a demure, "That would be nice." He watched her as she flipped through file folders for the right song, gauging her reaction. He really wasn't that great with reading faces. Even with people he knew, he found it difficult. Rachel had always been difficult for him to read and now he had no idea how she felt about this. Absolutely no idea. If only he could no because right now he couldn't even decide if his rash idea had been a good one or not. Yes, he did know how Rachel got when she sang. He'd been terrified the first time they sang together for sure. But the second time as they sang his song? Don't Stop Believing by Journey, one of his favorite bands of all time? What they had then had been magic. And it hadn't been about a relationship at all for Finn. Sure, it could have been for Rachel, but Finn had been with Quinn. He couldn't have imagined breaking with Quinn, even if she did interrupt their make out sessions for praying. No, at that moment, he had felt like he was doing the thing he was meant to do. And with Rachel, he felt a bond. The bond hadn't been romantic though. It had been pure and simple and clean and just... just there. That's what he wanted to get back to. He wanted to start over and feel like that again. No romantic ties, just a bond. Then, maybe he would be able to slowly forgive her.

Finn was moderately surprised to hear that Rachel approved of the song he had mentioned. Of course, she knew exactly what he was talking about and actually knew the name. He was coming along to though. In a way, he guessed it was like how Rachel was coming along in helping other people stand out. Finn was coming along in actually knowing music that wasn't just classic rock or playing on the Top 40 station that he drove home to (it was basically the only station he could get). He thought about Rachel's question. Really, it didn't matter much to Finn. Was one way more intimate than the other? He couldn't even tell. Thus, he couldn't choose the less intimate option because both seemed pretty personal. Of course, that was what singing was. He watched her shift on her feet. Was she nervous? Should he be nervous? He was overthinking way too much. That's what he always got when he was actually impulsive... "If you think you can play it, we can go with the piano. Or acapella. You know, I don't really care. You decide." Finn Hudson was your typical man in the category of never ever making your own decision. But then when you date a girl such as Quinn Fabray or Rachel Berry? Well, there really couldn't be any surprise there. He watched her expectantly, trying to emanate confidence. Though, that confidence wasn't all quite there...

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a different side of me
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So I'm role playing with Rachel here and I'd just like to say that I should be back for good now! =D.
This boss template was made by GOOSEY; AT CAUTION 2.0 !? and I though you'd want to know. Oh, and the soundtrack, it's all MATCHBOX TWENTY!?

[RACHEL BARBRA BERRY]

IN THE HEART OF THE DEVASTATION, SHE'S A NATURAL DISASTER
the last of the american girls
TAG: finn | WORDS: idk. :] | WEARING: coming soon!
NOTES: oh my lord, i am so sorry this took so long. life's crazy.

"Although I would consider myself to have some level of proficiency with the piano, I...I'm not sure that I would be able to sing and play at the same time, at least, not without having played it before." The truth was, Rachel wasn't actually all that proficient with the piano - she had taken lessons, yes, because she had taken lessons in probably every area of the performing arts save for circus training (and it wasn't for lack of the idea, it was because she had discovered at an early age that clowns scared the living daylights out of her, and therefore, there was no way she was ever going to be voluntarily putting herself into any kind of circus-related situation let alone working at one. No matter what kinds of cracks Santana made about her looking like a clown.), but the piano had been the one that had eluded her the most. It wasn't really that she was bad per se, it was just that it wasn't her forte, and she was starting to regret having brought up that she might be able to play it, because now she was all but admitting she might have failed at something. And that, well, that was unthinkable.

So, she gave him another small, sheepish smile. "But...if you want, I guess I can try..." He, of all people, after all, knew her shortcomings, and up until this latest debacle, had seemed to embrace them. In fact, he might have been quicker to embrace her faults than she herself had ever been, and while she had learned a lot from being with him, that seemed to be one of the things that had never rubbed off. Rachel just couldn't accept that there were things she wasn't very good at, things she might never be good at, and those things had been, and probably would always be, eating away at her for as long as she could remember. That was probably part of the reason she latched on so tightly to things she got; the things she was good at, she was determined to keep at the forefront, hoping that they would distract from the things she wasn't quite as capable with. (Like most things in similar situations, it tended to backfire on her more often than not, but again, sometimes Rachel wasn't very good at learning lessons. It seemed like she kept making the same mistakes over and over.) "It might be best if we just sang a capella, if only because it would probably go more smoothly..."

It was as close to relinquishing complete control as she was going to get, let's face it. The fact that she was phrasing it as something even remotely close to a suggestion open for his confirmation or denial was progress. Wasn't it?

Carefully, she leaned slightly in front of him to place the score on the piano, figuring that even if they did decide to go with singing the song a capella, it was as logical a place as any for the music to rest. It would be within sight range of both of them - not that she needed the words, she knew the words like the back of her hand, but since he wasn't as familiar with them as she was, she thought she should probably try and keep things as evenly matched as possible - and, well, she just couldn't think of anywhere else to put it. He was already sitting there, and she was close enough that it would seem rude if she didn't put it where he could see it right away, and...she was overthinking again. "I..." she began, though she wasn't really sure what she had intended to say. For the briefest of moments, an awkward silence settled over her, before she shook herself out of it. "I suppose I'm ready when you are...for...whatever you decide?" Where this uncertain, stammering Rachel had come from, she had no idea - well, she had some idea, but she still wasn't ready to admit to it, so she was going to deny it until she turned blue in the face - but she knew that it was uncomfortable, and that she would have given anything to go back to even a slightly-more-in-control version of herself.

"It's a beautiful song...it could be taken in so many ways..." she said softly, hoping to God that he didn't misunderstand her. Because right now, she didn't expect much. She didn't expect him to fall on his knees and beg her to come back - though she wouldn't have said no to such a display, either, but she was working on being realistic here - but she...she just wanted a fresh start. Something that erased - or at least sort of erased - the mess they had gotten themselves into. She just wanted a friend again. She wanted him to be her friend. .

[FINN ALEXANDER HUDSON]

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i'm not crazy, i'm just a little unwell
i know, right now you can't tell
but stay awhile and maybe then you'll see

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Finn wasn't sure why Rachel was making such a big deal about a piano versus acapella. Was it really that big of a deal? She always made every bit of a number a big deal. The dancing had to be exactly correct with a mix of three different types of dance to show off versatility. The singing had to be in oh-so-many harmonies with a large range to show off how high or low they could sing at the same time while being in tune and so on and so forth. Finn never understood that stuff. Especially being in tune. In tune with what? Like, yeah, there were some notes that didn't sound great together. But there were also some notes that sounded really cool together. So as long as you sounded really cool, you were okay, right? But apparently there was some exact note that you were supposed to hit dead on. Apparently Finn had a natural ability for this or else he would have been seriously screwed in glee club. To be honest, he really had no idea how he did so well. It was just a gift or something and Finn liked it. Glee had become such a great outlet for him without too much stress or whatever. Excluding Rachel, of course.

She was training in way too many things in Finn's opinion. Didn't it make her head explode or something? He had football or glee after school and then went home and did homework or messed around on video games and stuff. Rachel always had these extra practices for one of her many styles of dance or singing lessons or just practicing her next big show stopper or something. One person couldn't do that much! That's ridiculous! Seriously, she was going to have one of those midlife crises or mental breakdown or something before age twenty. It would be like that new movie with the girl from Star Wars! He hadn't seen it, but apparently she went crazy from ballet or something. Was Rachel in danger of that? Could she be saved from this fate that seemed to be coming? He glanced at her and saw she was talking again. Words slowly flowed back into his mind and brought him back down to earth. He was being ridiculous, as usual. Why were all his ideas always so stupid?! Okay, Finn really needed to focus. He was going to sing a song. With Rachel. About starting over. As friends though, not as in relationship stuff. And this time it would just be friends. Not friends who accidentally kiss each other from time to time. No, this was going to be real. It would all be alright.

Now that Finn's mind was no longer in the clouds, he registered that Rachel was looking at him intently. But not in an I-want-to-makeout-with-you way. No, more of a answer-my-question-did-you-hear-me? way. "Oh, uh, a capella is great. You know, I've never been one to care anyways." He was pretending to be the laid back guy even though he wasn't laid back in his head five seconds ago. No big deal. He could do this. "Yeah, I think that's why I remembered it." Her comment about it being taken in so many ways worried him. Did she want to turn this into a Project Get Finn Back thing again? It wasn't going to work. He almost wanted to leave, but that would have been downright rude. No, he was going to sing. It had been his suggestion after all. But maybe he should end any pretense of this being anything more than friendship. "Which is why it's perfect to help us restart our friendship," he told Rachel gently with an emphasis on the last word. Finn might not be an eloquent guy, but when it counted, he could make them work. He looked at the sheet music, appreciating that Rachel had spread them out for him. He could barely remember the name of the song, so he definitely didn't remember much of the lyrics. "Well, I'm good. If you are, then you can start when you're ready." He wasn't sure what was about to happen between them, but whatever it was... he hoped for the best.
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a different side of me
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So I'm role playing with Rachel here and I'd just like to say sorry, kind of short.
This boss template was made by GOOSEY; AT CAUTION 2.0 !? and I though you'd want to know. Oh, and the soundtrack, it's all MATCHBOX TWENTY!?