Member No.: 223
Joined: 15-March 12
Mozgus Augustine Clyde ,
And as we wind on down the road
Our shadows taller than our soul.
There walks a lady we all know
Who shines white light and wants to show
How everything still turns to gold.
moz, clyde, pretty boy, soap, the ugly
born and raised in New York, New York- currently on the move, as most Hunters are
heterosexual... for the most part
The incredible Alfresco Tunes at your service: 19 years of age, role playing for the past 6 or 7 years, fan of multiple genres, I have a soft spot for occult or supernatural themes- love writing, love films, even into comic books and the like (can never get enough good writing), up for any and all kinds of role-playing.
A rather complex guy, to be certain, Moz has his fair twists and turns in his personality. The successor to a fairly successful string of car repair shops, Moz didn't exactly live in poverty growing up, and thus he's built a somewhat refined taste- for many, this makes him come off as a somewhat snobby, arrogant type. That sentiment, however, is contrary to the truth: Mozgus is a very humble person, with a sharp wit but an otherwise polite, honest, attitude.
Morality comes very high on Mozgus's priority list- tattooed on his right shoulder are the scales of justice, a reminder to be certain of what is right and wrong, a judgement that is sometimes difficult to place in the world of Hunters vs Demons. Remaining on the side of justice is a very important factor in Moz's life, and he will work very hard to maintain his sense of right and wrong, often being very uncompromising to anything but clear justice.
Along with justice, Clyde likes to keep a sense of organization and clarity to his life- he is a very well organized person, and about as clean as a hunter can be (the only real exception being when in a fight, Clyde is capable of extreme rage at times, any who've seen him during one of his fits of rage typically think he's crazy). For these reasons, Moz does not drink or smoke or take in anything he thinks is unnatural- of course the abstinence from alcohol also comes from a desire to be alert at all times, fearing the thought of being caught off guard. But then again, issues with the fear of being off guard or being too trusting has always plagued Mozgus's life. He keeps most people at arm's length, believing them to be primed and ready to betray him to suit their own ends. He doesn't have any problem making pals or buddies, but friends is a totally different matter- Clyde has very tough standards for making true friends- most everyone is either a "pal" or a "buddy" or an "acquaintance" until they prove themselves to him.
All in all, Clyde comes off charming or friendly enough, but something under the surface seems to hint at a darker, melancholy personality- he comes off as lonely, but then again, most hunters do. However, no matter how many laughs are shared or how inviting or charming the young hunter is, it is hard to shake off a sense of blue brokenness, or perhaps a hint of rage fueling an unstoppable determinism.
Born to Tiberius and Emily Clyde, Mozgus was named for the surname of a man that Clyde's father knew when he lived in Ireland. The "original" Mozgus helped to free Moz's father from prison- Tiberius had been an honest man, imprisoned for assaulting his land lord after he raised his rates to force the Clydes, whom he clashed with regularly, out of his neighborhood, an act that eventually left the family homeless and starving. Tiberius attacked his land lord, who only profited when a wealthier family moved in, not knowing what else to do, and brought the man within an inch of his life. Tiberius was quickly arrested and thrown in prison without trial, he spent several months in a cell until one fateful evening when his cellmate and he sprung out of prison- in the end, Mozgus the original sacrificed himself to ensure that Tiberius got away, claiming that Tiberius was the only one between them who was an honest man, and thus it was only just he got away safe- by the end of the day, Tiberius and his family were on a boat headed to America.
That story of the original Mozgus was told to the new Moz quite regularly, a reminder of values- honesty and justice, and self sacrifice. Moz watched his father maintain these values as he grew up- his father aspired to own a car-repair company, and he joined into the market at just the right time, quickly becoming an engineer and mechanic of some renown. Somewhere along this period, Mozgus was born as the only boy amongst 6 children. By the time Mozgus was 8, his father had opened his first shop, and was doing quite well- and as his father's business expanded, Mozgus's life grew easier. He had a knack for cars and machines, not unlike his father before him.
However, all of a sudden, Mozgus's father became accustomed to sudden, strange, quirks- he was prone to bursts of severe anger, he swore, alienated people around him, and on one incident, struck his wife- and things only got stranger and stranger. Mysterious deaths began to circle around the car-repair shops, a sudden surge of wrecks, malfunctions, strange incidents- and on several occasions, Moz spied his father's workers tampering with the cars, and after he investigated further, Mozgus discovered his first hex bag. Not long after that, Mozgus had his first experience with Hunters- they came investigating the deaths, they asked Mozgus, who had done some digging and discovered what the hex-bags were meant to be, he reported what he'd found to the hunters, and that was that.
His involvement with the mysterious bags should've ended there, however, several nights later, Mozgus returned to the garage after hours to find his father butchered in some form of ritual, surrounded by the figures of his workers, as well as two of Mozgus's five sisters- the eldest, twins, Josephine and Caroline. They had been priming their father to use as a sacrifice for an ancient deity- an honest man who had been broken down into something haggard and vulgar- the twins had long since been interested in magic and summoning, having been researching Irish lore as a hobby since their youth.
The twins succeeded, and from his hiding place, Mozgus watched the bloody body of his father reanimate and draw the ritual knife used to slay him- who in turn began to wreck havoc on the unsuspecting summoners- just as Moz was discovered, the hunters rescued him from the demon, lighting it aflame, repelling the monster and seemingly defeating it- they explained what he'd seen, but it didn't help to heal the trauma Moz had experienced.
The clean up of the situation was messy. The twins, Caroline and Josephine, hadn't tried too hard to hide what exactly they were plotting, it didn't take much more than a quick breeze through their journals and documents, and searching their room for the ritual ingredients to place a motive. When it all boiled down, the officials claimed that they were just two psychotics who convinced a group of workers to help them ritualistically slay their father. The destruction of the father's body by the Hunters made it difficult to gather much evidence, in the end they'd burned him, but even then it was clear that something was amiss. As far as the investigation could tell, the father somehow escaped his captors and attacked them, at that point things grew complicated, as it seemed utterly unnatural for a man to be able to kill two of his children, as well as three of his workers armed with a knife, have his throat cut in the fight, and then somehow was set aflame. Mozgus was held as a suspect for a time, though he wouldn't speak a word to anyone for another year at the least. However, in the weeks that followed, the investigators decided that perhaps burning the father had been part of the ritual, and that one of the workers, or perhaps even his daughter, set him alight before they bled out- the evidence pointed to it being plausible, as several of the workers had lighters on their person, and there was plenty of gasoline present in the warehouse.
The case was shut and Mozgus left to his own devices- the family was devastated, as far they knew, their sisters tried to kill their father, their father in turn killed their sisters, and then their father burned to death while their youngest brother watched. No one knew who to be angry with, or suspicious of, but if any ill will was felt towards Moz, it was kept tightly under wrap. Emily, the mother, fell into a deep depression out of which she would not come for another year and a half, each of the sisters mourned and lost a bit of their minds, but Mozgus was not present for their suffering.
Mozgus became a shell, after watching his sisters and his father's most trusted employees betray his honest father, with witchcraft of all things, his mind had taken a serious rattling. A million unanswered questions still hung around the incident, "why?" always remained a high point- as of yet, it remains unanswered, some things in life are left askew, but the questions haunted Mozgus more than anything. The company was headed by the remaining honest workers and family, it would take two years for Mozgus to recover mentally, and start down a path of hunting.
For two years, Mozgus's days in the hospital were spent researching legends and monsters, and devising new ways to kill them. He gave himself over to aspiring to be a hunter to pull himself from his depression, hoping that by pushing all his focus into it he would begin to heal. He put his skills with mechanics to work and devised new means of defeating monsters- home weapons, like coffee can grenades, and special ammunition. And so, besides devising new ways to hunt, Mozgus spent his time following leads on hunters, trying to get answers, eventually he contacted the hunters who saved him from his sister's creation, and after some convincing, they started Clyde down the path of hunting.
One day, several months after he released himself from the hospital, he simply reappeared in his family's lives out of the blue- his presence came as quite a shock, but was followed by cautious rejoice. It was clear that Mozgus had changed, two of his remaining sisters, Rosaline and Hariett, had spearheaded control of the family company, and they were the ones Mozgus convinced to help fund his "side projects"- he claimed that the extra funds were for opening various small time shops around the country, and so long as he falsified a few documents, did some actual repair work on the side, and wrote often enough, the sisters were none the wiser- though perhaps their ignorance was out of an attempt to appease their strange, damaged younger brother. His tri-monthly letter and status update to the sisters remain his only true connection to his family, as of now, Mozgus hasn't contacted his mother or sisters since his reappearance.
Mozgus used his assets in the field of mechanics, as well as funds from his father's car-repair organization to better arm hunters, and found that a second thing he excelled at besides machines was slaying monsters, and he did so with pride. Now he hunts along side the others, with a sharp intellect, killer instinct, and a quickly growing arsenal.
Piece A fits into Slot B. The basic law of all life- no matter how complex the issue or the question, the basic answer was Piece A and Slot B. Genetics, mathematics, mechanics, social interaction, it could all boil down to Pieces and Slots, and which ones fit into which. Monsters weren't any different.
A tile bathroom wall of a public rest stop was a hell of a bad place to die. Drab tiles that had a thin film of grey filth, and the taboo nastiness of a bathroom floor, cold concrete with a slight sheen that always hinted a reminder: This is a men's room- it might look clean, but don't trust it. Cramped, dirty little space, neat rows of four stalls, and a small half wall that separated the stalls from the urinals. Everything stained, messages carved into the plastic walls of toilet cells, and the echoing of metal tinkering, and heavy breathing. For a man who appreciates cleanliness- Mozgus, for instance- this was the worst tomb imaginable. For a man with a bleeding shoulder and a cut side- Mozgus, for instance- this wasn't a good place to make a last stand. Sitting back against the dirty wall with a jammed pistol and a dead arm, and cuts and bruises, and every sound echoing a whole orchestra in the most echo-prone room of a building. And even as he took apart the jammed piece and began putting it back together, Moz found himself wondering: Why do we insist on making bathrooms echo?
Outside, nothing was alive, everything was dead- but not silent. Not still. Something was angry, moving, and hungry. And it wasn't going to take long for it to finish checking the Gas station and move on to the bathroom. If it had stopped moving and shoving over isles of food for a moment, it might've even heard the click klak clicking of the pistol being put back together in the echoing bathroom. Luckily for Mozgus, it had no such luck.
Empty the barrel, slide spring A into stock B. It closed with a click as it locked into place. Scuttling running feet and scampering legs. Slide the revolver coil into place, clamping down the action lever, it fit like a charm. A snarl sounded from outside- his hiding place discovered. Slide in the chamber, it locks steady, pick up the bullets- holy oak rounds with rock salt lining- and load the magazine with a snap. The door bulged under a heavy tackle, and finally splintered as the creature rushed in, stopping cold in it's tracks. Cock the piece, take aim.
From his place at the end of the hallway, it was a straight shot to the beast in the door way.
"Mozgus Clyde you goddamn thing."
The trigger pulled, more than once, it pulled eight times, and it spat just as many rounds- seven of them hit, the eighth missed. Seven pieces fit into seven slots perfectly. A public rest stop's bathroom was a hell of a bad place to die- this didn't occur to the monster as it went down.
Member No.: 1
Joined: 19-February 11
Over all this is a really well written application, there's just a few minor things and we can get it squared away.
You don't mention his family much. You mention he has five siblings and a mother but that's about it. Is Moz the youngest? How was his relationship with his family? He still has a mother and three sister's correct? Does he speak with them still? How did the twins fall into witch craft? Why would they want to hex and sacrifice their father?
Also no one has names other than Mox and his father. We'd definitely like see the names of his family.
You mention that he grew up in a few different places, but there's nothing in the history about him moving around. It all seems to have happened in one place. There's also the matter of why he left the rest of his family behind. The part where he becomes a hunter is brushed over - how he managed to get into the life - and how he went from being a car mechanic to building weapons. I'm not sure if he tinkered around with machines before that or not.
If you could just comb through those things we'll get you squared away.
Member No.: 223
Joined: 15-March 12
Alrighty! Lets see here:
Cleared up the family- added names, current relationship with Moz, and the like. However, i've left the motive behind the sisters blank, thought it could be interesting for a personal plot later on.
In terms of being a hunter and using his talents for hunting, I've updated that his time in the mental hospital was spent researching and planning new methods of disposing of monsters, as well as finding leads on other Hunters to gather information from, which eventually leads to him contacting hunters and becoming one.
As for the location, I decided it better to cut out the multiple locations bit, no matter how I tried to smooth it into the history section it seemed to stick out like a sore thumb, better to just say "born and raised in _____"
Member No.: 103
Joined: 5-October 11
Alright so everything is good here except one thing; the sisters. Now the motive can be left open, as it's a main part of your characters quest so to speak, that's fine-- Mozgus can been in the dark about that.
But what happens to them after? When you mean that it wrecked havoc did it kill them? Or did they escape? Is Moz looking for them? Were the mother and the other sisters suspicious? Did they find out about them? What do they know of their death and or disappearance? Everything else is good, there is just a big gap about the eldest twin sisters you need to focus on, I'm not asking for very explicit details but you see what I mean? Just after you introduced the concept of them being into Witchcraft it seems to end there, so if you would try to elaborate on that more that'd be great and I'll have another look at it.
Member No.: 223
Joined: 15-March 12
Oh yeah, I see the definitely see the plot hole there.
Okay, added another paragraph that explains the clean up, details of the incident, the way in which the family handled it, the way the police handled it, etc. I hope that fills up the gap, if not, i'm all for editing deeper.
Member No.: 103
Joined: 5-October 11
Okay so everything seems to be in order here, just one last thing and you're ready to go. If at all possible could you please break your paragraphs up more in your history? As they're kind of big and it's difficult to keep track of when reading over. Obviously don't remove anything, just break them up a bit.