Sometimes I Don't Feel Like A Writer!!

Sometimes I don't feel like a writer. Ever have one of those moments, days, years? I am having that feeling write now. It's not so much as writer's block for me. It's just a feeling I get. Sometimes I want to just throw in the towel and forget about writing period. But then the writer in me screams NOOOOO!! And offers nothing more. Is it just me? Has anyone else had this experience? Any insights would be great. I mean I am tired of "talking" about being a writer. I just want to be a writer. How hard is that?

Actually ... no.

I feel like a writer even when I am NOT writing. Because even then I have stories and dialogue and characters wandering around in my brain ... sort of marinating until I begin writing again.

Sorry, I know that isn't what you are feeling. But that is my experience.


And Cheryl, you ARE a writer. You write all the time. Being a writer does not necessarily
mean you have to have a published novel. If your inner writer is refusing to let you throw in the towel ... then you ARE a writer. It's okay to take a break from writing ... even if you love it.

Just like sometimes we need a break from the kids or the husband. Yeah we love them but can use some alone time. It's okay to throw in the towel and jump in the pool and take a writing break ... your inner writer will take you back to the laptop keyboard.

Hey girl...

Actually, some days I don't feel very writerly myself.

But, that said...it's darn hard work being a writer. Most of the time anyway. Sure there are days the words come easy but other days they don't. Then there are revisions. queries. a synopsis or two and all the other stuff.


I do think there are times we just need to take a break from it and do something else.

And elfie is right. You are a writer...


Speck

I don't feel like a writer because I'm not. I know, you're mouth is dropping open as you're trying to form the words, "What!? Crazy pink monster! Shush!" But I'm not a writer. Writing is just one expression of me. I learned with other expressions not to identify myself with them because those things are not me. I can learn anything, take up any art. That makes me much more than whatever I am doing at the moment. It lets me work through tough moments because I know my identity is not attached to what I am doing and allows me to bring infinite potential to anything I chose to do.

This post has been edited by galatyne on Oct 27 2009, 03:21 PM

Oh Well Said Gala!!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay...very deep thinking there gala...and I'll grant you probably correct.

But, I kinda see myself as a diamond. There are lots of different sides to this troll.

Writer, mom, wife, dog trainer, cat whisperer (don't even ask), chocoholic, etc.

Just because we are focused on one aspect doesn't lessen the others.

I go with the diamond too, but honestly, if writing is like breathing to me--I just have to do it or I'll die.

Cheryl, there were those years when I just couldn't make the time to write or didn't have the people motivating me. Those were tough times, but I realized that I have to write for me first, and if writing is what makes me happy then I am going to do it. Making the time is even harder, but even if you have a plan to start say a week from now, it's a goal that you can work toward, which will motivate you.

CC

Wow, Gala-

Deep thoughts and interesting perspective. Just never lookedd at it that way.

I appreciate all your insights. I love to see how far a lot of you have come--your own websites, publications...I have some nonfic published, but to cross the realm into the fiction world is what excites me at times. Anyway, great insights...

Thank you, Cheryl, for starting such a great thread. And for sure you're not alone in thinking, "Am I a writer?"

I guess the main distinction is whether or not you believe you are one.

I'm big into thinking positive and saying affirmations, so whenever I'm feeling down or depressed, especially about writing, I envision myself as a writer. I'll say aloud, "I am a writer" - but with feeling and belief. It's got to the point where that's simply part of who I am, like the way Elf feels.

But of course we all have moments of doubt, how can we not when this is a tough business? We need to stay diligent and persistent, and boy can that be hard when rejections are constantly thrown in our face.

On those days when the characters aren't talking, I can't figure out a plot problem, and I don't see how I can shape this story into something people will want to publish and buy - I just ask myself, "Can I thrown in the towel? Can I quit?"

My reaction is quite like yours - a loud, anguished scream from my inner writer.

- Chrissy

Despair is part of the game, unfortunately...
But it doesn't have to own you.

I know exactly how you are feeling, as I have been there many times. That's when your writer friends come rushing in to aide and comfort. I can't tell you how many times I have emailed our dear elfie to whine and fall out. She always has a way of gently reminding me what is important...enjoying the ride!

When I stop for awhile to allow the muses to recharge or hit the bars or the tropics or whatever they do, I always find myself drawn back in a bit. Something hits me just so, or I see someone in line at Starbucks who really needs to be a character and I'm off again!

Keep your chin up. Keep your pen nib sharp. Things will look up.

Did I do okay, elfie? I am accustomed to being on the other end of this self-doubt thingy...

I think you did great, Madhatter.

We all get down especially when the writing project is not going as smooth as we would like.
If you write, you are a writer, if you keep writing the project will get done, if you follow through and are persistant you will gain success. It may just be personal success because monetary success in this profession is very hard to come by but success at any level is a victory.

Of course you did! You did great!

(What Maddie didn't mention is that she has been there for me, as well. She's seen and heard the Elf rant and rave in frustration more than once!)


Gala does make an excellent point. Humans (as well as elves and trolls) are very complex creatures. We are so much more than the labels we are given or take on.

I am Elfie, grandma, mom, a writer, a woman, a truck driver, a nut, a P.I.T.A, a neighbor, an employee, a customer, JoElle, a daughter, a sister, a friend, and on and on and on ...

'A writer' is only PART of my whole being. WHO I AM is so much more than one of many names or titles that may identify me at any given time. Each is accurate ... but not complete.

This post has been edited by Forest Elf on Oct 29 2009, 08:29 AM

I forgot to share the other epiphany I had while walking on the beach and pondering life, writing, and rejection...

I only feel depressed when I allow myself to become too attached to the outcome.
This doesn't mean I don't CARE, it just means I should try not to let myself worry so much. If I do my very best on the writing part and put it out there, the universe will take care of getting it where it needs to be. Here's the part that trips me up every time: I don't have to be in control.

It's like herding fire ants. The more I try to get them all going in the correct direction, the more they resist. And a few will always double back and bite me on the ankles.

Was that an analogy to crow about, or what?

Am I a Writer? Good question, Mad ma'am, and each of you have provided a good answer. If we were not whole people, sensitive and complex and open to any art with all its beauty and even its ugliness, I think that would disqualify us automatically, as writers. We must be able to love, hate and despair, even doubt ourselves often. We could set a well programmed computer to do our work, otherwise, methinks.

It's been a matter of muses. I'm a senior citizen now; from a fountain pen (still prefer it, a Parker '51), through ball points to typewriters (Smith Corona and then that IBM with that sphere thingy), then (WOW!) -- a TI 99 4/A computer (thought apple was for pies, the PC would get nowhere and that DOS was a loser). That's nearly half a century of writing, mostly bull, occasionally something good enough. But I had faith, when I started, in My Muse. Ah ... she was beautiful! Floated about in diaphanous gauze; somewhat distracting for a young lad but I was she was ever there! Pretty, and pretty useless.

So shortly after I got Techie. He'd fool around a lot with Muse, but he was able to earn me some bread and butter. I worked at a lab then, a researcher, and together we made the best darn research reports (some creative fiction there, but my bosses got the grants for the lab). But lurking in the background was a new muse, Crastinator. Oh he was a quick leaner all right, became a Pro.

That was mid career and I'd acquired a Musing Committee: The Muse, Techie, and Procrastinator. Grandma Grammar, Punctuator, Clown, and worst of all: I. Editor.

Of course, then I realized that with everything I wrote my Musing Committee was getting bigger and bigger. They'd slack off all too often (drinking beer and playing poker behind my bookshelves (which groaned under the weight of books on writing). Was I a Writer? I must have done a million words (no one was counting) but I guess Clown and Joker saved the situation:

Between poker hands, they whispered to me "don't take yourself too seriously". Humph!

Yet I became a better writer, a better engineer, a better homemaker, knowing all along I was very, very far from perfect. So I guess ...

Yes, I'm a writer. Not a very good one maybe, but a writer.

Q