So, I was wondering if I could take advantage of my fellow writers and ask you if I could send you my story via private email. Just the revised first three chapters of Nice Girls Do, for now, anyway. You can have more if you like it.

I am getting close to sending it out again and would really like an honest opinion. I read it so much I am not objective at all. One day it sucks, the next it doesn't.

Also, I'm embarrassed because the publisher asked me for it about half a year ago so I'm a bit behind.

Let me know if you want to be my guinea pigs.

I would love to read it.

Of course, my young opinion might not count for much, but it would be nice to read more of the likes of SBW.

Of course your opinion matters. I don't think it's too racy for your tender eyes. At least not the beginning.

I can't attach things to internal email, though, Peati, so I'd need your address, and oh hell, I'm just going to put it here.

I don't suppose the entire universe will read it anyway, and I've got a poor man's copyright. Plus, hey, maybe I'll get some advance readership.

OK, WTF. I can't. It's only 123K and the limit is 512.

What gives?

What about posting it little by little?

Do you want to try me, too? I think you have my email address already.

SBW if you post it here, you will achieve an automatic affirmation of copyright in front of witnesses, but beware that most publishers specifically insert a "first publications right" into any contract, especially to green authors, so pre-publishing, even on the web, is not necessarily a sound idea if you anticipate later publication. (Even though a number of bloggers have secured publication deals as a direct result of their blogosphere creative activity ... I don't regard that as a precedent.)

You have my email address. Zip it and send it to me. Other posters PM, SBW with your email address if you also want to read/evaluate her chapters.

What a very good point, Mirelly, and I forgot about the PM thing.

I emailed it to you and Lynet. It's only 123K so I didn't bother to zip.

Peati, you'll have to PM me with your email. If you don't feel comfortable I totally understand.

Not a problem, SBW.

I'll PM you now.

Argh! It's 4:30am

I feel that those 3 chapters stand up pretty damn well as a pacy opener for a novel that seems pretty well set up for tensions and mysteries. You've done a good job of whipping the pace along at a smart trot, while seesawing the POV skillfully enough to highlight the areas you want Constant Reader to pay special attention to. Dante has problems of his own and it will be entertaining to see how you serve up his portion of the denouement ... am I am in no doubt that Caprice is gonna get royally rogered ... eventually ... although it wouldn't be a surprise if it wasn't Dante.

I loved:

More like an escaped panther. and

Women always seemed to think they'd be able to change his mind with their bodies.

And you taught me a new word (colour): loden

(You'll also be pleased to know that I read it with the gimlet eye of an amateur editor and the only problems I had were that it was written by one of those bloody yanks with their weird linguistic idiosyncrasies.... It had never occurred to me before that panties had a singular, or that one could see an ocean from anywhere in Italy. Such usages are as amusing to Brits as our dumb-ass vernacular is to you guys. For example, the word trousers makes Americans laugh as much as the word pants makes us giggle. Anyway, it seemed to me that you had made some changes to chapter one since I last saw it, but if so they were subtle but apt.)

I'd say it was ready for submission taster ... especially if you have been invited to submit. The question only you can answer is do you believe the MS meets the publisher's criteria for the type and genre? That is is it racy enough, or modest enough for that publisher's needs ... or maybe I am being insensitive. I certainly believe that you have high-level skills in plot development. Add that to unquestioned talent for dialogue and the ability to control tension and conflict, and to maintain and juggle numerous disparate characters and well ... what, in 12,000 words, looks like the start of good romance/drama could easily build steam to become a serious literary novel if you take those characters down all the avenues open to them.

I'm rambling ...

Wow, thank you. That's pretty humbling praise. I don't know about serious literary novel, it is my first and is meant to be a romantic caper. If I can even half live up to what you just wrote I would be well satisfied.

I do love these characters. Lynet pointed out that the dialogue wasn't as witty as she's come to expect (aw, shucks), but part of that is due to the fact that they aren't big talkers, either of them.

However I am sorry now that I didn't send chapter 4 as well, in which there is a funny conversation about eating kittens. (No, I'm not kidding.)

So, should I call it a sea, not an ocean? Trousers, not pants?

And just what DO you call a singular pair of undies?

(Oh, and P.S. to Lynet: Yes, Mama is quite a character. I had a blast writing her.)

So, yes, on to the publisher and let them . . . sit on it for eight months. Sigh. As for satisfying their needs, those are as varied as the wind. If I get a nibble and they say, "But I need more sex," I think we can negotiate.

Hey, SBW, I'd like to read it too! I'll just PM you my e-mail address... It might take a little while for me to read it since I'm going to be a little busy up until Easter -- though I'm sure I'll find some time somewhere. Hope that's alright. No rush, right?

PM sent, so you better read! Wooo! *tries to do a summersault and fails*

Hey! I want in on this action! Send it to me!!! (Not my work one, though! Send it to my Personal E-mail...Let me know if you don't have that one!)

All sent, hope everyone enjoys. My first novel: I think my writing has improved since then, but I still think it stands up OK.

Hope y'all agree.