CHAPTER FOURTY-TWO:Dark Thoughts
Why would she want to sit in a place where there was less people? Jamie wondered as they walked up the stairs together, keeping at least a metres distance between them both.
They got a table in a corner of the restaurant. It was dimly lit by a small, square lamp that stood on the right hand side of it. They sat down opposite each other. Jamie was relieved to see she wasn't avoiding eye contact with him any more. She was looking at him, eyebrows slightly creased. She looked like she was thinking hard about something.
“The weather's really shitty today, isn't it?” He said to get the conversation started.
“Tell me about it.” She looked relieved to have something to talk about. “And I forgot my coat in college, as well. I had to walk all the way here in the rain without it.”
“Why didn't you call a taxi?”
She shrugged, “No money.”
“You could have called me. I would have given you a ride.”
When he saw the tight look on her face, he immediately wished he had held his mouth shut.
“Umm,” she said carefully. “I don't think that would have been such a good idea.”
Another one of those awkward silences took the floor. Jamie pretended to be extremely interested in his menu, hoping to the Goddess that Lily couldn't see him blushing. He was thankful when the waiter came. He took the first thing that came to mind: fried chicken. Lily ordered a salad.
“A salad?” He raised an eyebrow.
“I'm not very hungry.”
All the time he'd known Lily she had never ordered a salad at a restaurant.
“So...” he said, tapping his fingers on the table. “Why did you want to meet me here so urgently?”
She seemed to think for a moment before opening her mouth and saying, “Seriously. We need to sort some things out... And I need to come clean about something.” She looked away from him quickly.
“Come clean about what?”
Lily sighed and scratched the back of her neck with a long, thin finger.
“I'm really confused right now. I have mixed feelings for everybody...” She stopped here as if she was checking if he wanted to say something. Jamie just remained silent.
She continued, seeming slightly put off by his silence, “What I'm saying is... I like someone else.” It felt like he had just been kicked in the gut. “I think he likes me, too. But I can't be with him when I have you in the back of my mind all the bloody time.”
Jamie's fists clenched under the table. He could taste blood in his mouth and he realised that he was biting the insides of his cheeks. He didn't know whether to be angry at her liking somebody else or flattered by the fact that she still thought about him.
“Say something.” Lily looked anxious, but also angry.
“What is there to say?” Jamie answered bitterly.
“I dunno.”
The waiter stopped by with the food. Jamie started to shovel his chicken and chips into his mouth fiercely, keeping his eyes on the plate. He couldn't look at her now. To look at her was murder. He didn't know what to do, how to react.
Opposite him, Lily was picking at her salad. She cleared her throat.
She said in a sullen tone, “So what do we do now?”
“I dunno. What are
you going to do now,” Jamie answered harshly. He glared at the little lamp on the table, the candle inside it that was burning endlessly. He wanted to smash that annoying little lamp on the floor.
Lily let out a frustrated sound. “You know, I don't even know
why I'm acting like this about you. It's not like we're together.”
“Shut up.”
“No! Maybe I shouldn't've told you about this and let you walk around, drinking your arse off.”
His head snapped up. Her electric blue eyes pierced his, but he didn't look away.
“What, and you think
this will improve things?”
“Yes! No! It's not supposed to
improve things!”
“So you just wanted to start trouble, did you?”
“No, I'm just telling the truth. Coming clean, or whatever. I don't want to feel like I'm sneaking around behind your back when I'm with Dirk.”
“But why would you feel like that when we were so
obviously broken up?” Jamie spat, the sarcasm heavy in his voice.
“You see!” Lily slammed her fist into the table. “This is why it would never work out between us! You're such an arse!”
“And you're not?!”
She stood up sharply, and he did the same. They both stood there glaring at each other, panting. Lily actually looked kind of sexy when she was standing there, hair on end. She looked like an agitated, black panther.
Those feelings got the better of him.
“Take me back.”
“What?”
“Take me back, damit.”
He walked around the table and kissed her fiercely, brutally, crushing his lips against hers. She slid an arm around his waist and for a split second he could have sworn that she was kissing him back.
But then a fist smashed into the side of his face and he let go of her.
“
W-wah...” he panted, clutching his face in his right hand.
Lily stood before him, huffing and puffing. For a moment, it looked like she was going to say something -- or spit at him -- but then she just walked passed him. Jamie watched her walk off toward the stairs, her hips swaying from side to side. Somebody -- probably a waiter -- asked her if she was OK. Jamie heard Lily snap “Piss off!” and then she disappeared down the stairs.
He really needed a drink, so he went downstairs to the bar.
As he sat on his barstool, swigging his beer, Jamie reflected on what had just happened. He was embarrassed by his behaviour, and a little ashamed, but he did not regret it. Not one bit because he had found out something very important tonight: Lily still loved him. She had confirmed it herself by kissing him back. Actually her behaviour tonight proved everything. Hadn't she also admitted that she still had feelings for him?
Jamie smiled a crooked smile. He was not going to give up. He would win her back if he had to so much as serenade to her with his terrible singing voice.
Lily was not the type of girl you could win back with presents. He would have to do something else to persuade her. But roses wouldn't hurt, would they?
He was also going to hunt down this Dirk guy and kill him.
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