Early Morning Off Duty, January 5th [OPEN]

[Julian Wilde]

Clatter. Clatter. Clank. Clatter.

Julian lifts his head off the table, wiping any signs of sleep from his face. The waitress juggling all those noisy cups and plates stops by his table to fish around in her apron for a drink coaster.

“Oh, no thank you.” Julian shakes his head as she sets down a coffee cup, trying to balance her over-filled tray and tip the steaming coffee pot forward to fill his mug. It’s eight in the morning, and while most people where probably looking to wake up, Julian didn’t need the caffeine.

“You sure?” She asks, swaying back to keep everything from falling whenever she moves. The cups and plates give more dangerous sounds as the tray wobbles in her hands. “Free coffee for cops.”

Julian spends a second confused then looks down. He’s still in his jacket from work. Most have forgotten to take it off when his shift ended earlier today. Even Juno gets chilly in the winter months. Not good for tourism, or for security police left on guard outside government facilities.

“Oh, well, sure.” He still doesn’t need the coffee, but the woman looks like she’s trying so hard not to spill everything onto his lap just to give him coffee. He doesn’t want to upset her by saying no.

The hot liquid spills over the rim of the mug when she pours it. Julian smiles like he’s actually thankful, just so she doesn’t get upset with him. When she turns to go back into the kitchen, Julian takes his wallet out and throws down a tip.

He hadn’t come in to eat, and he’s never liked the taste of coffee - only the smell. He doesn’t want to leave a pissed off waitress, though, so he forces some of it down after she’s gone, wincing the entire time as it burns his mouth.

He leaves the small diner quickly, slipping back outside and onto the beach while trying not to spit up the strong taste of coffee grounds stuck to his tongue.

[Leon Torra]

It isn’t often that Leo was off of work. The running joke around the precinct is that the scruffy, tried looking man live sat the station. He is never seen anywhere else. He rarely ever goes home. It is said that he goes straight from work to the bar and then right back to work. No one dares to talk about why that is. That subject it taboo at the police station. No one talks about the death of his family or ho wit has affected him. So long as Leon sees the station shrink every week and says what they want to hear, he is allowed to keep going. Even if he is forced to leave his sidearm at the station for fear he might turn it on himself.

He is not going to work. He is not going to the bar. Not yet. He is actually heading home for once. He needs a change of clothing and a shower. He had been overworking himself again, to the point where Leon secretly sleeps at his desk for a few seconds at a time. Only enough that he gets sleep, but not long enough that the nightmares come again. Still, he does not want to be seen in such a state. Leon does not want people to notice him. To see how grief has affected him even after nine years.

He did not even see his fellow officer. He is too focused on keeping his feet going one step after the next. He is hungry, but there is a cup of noodles waiting at home. He is tired, but he knows he will get no sleep. Not even the sweet smell of the sea salt can sooth him. He is already so cold on the inside that he needs no coat. He no longer cares if he gets sick or not.

He only notices when his stride takes him almost on top of his fellow officer. He smells coffee. He don’t bother saying anything about not accepting free gifts. It is not his place. He does not care. He is off duty. It is not his problem. He has bigger things to worry about than one cop taking a freebee. But he remembers that the officer doesn’t like coffee.

As he passes, he slows to be beside Julian. “That’s what you get, for taking a freebee when you know we’re not allowed. I hope it was strong and bitter.”

[Julian Wilde]

Outside, Julian reached into the coat for a cigarette to chase away the coffee taste. He'd developed a slight addiction to having one hanging by his lips, especially in the cold. He knew how unhealthy the were, and he didn't even have the excuse of saying he wouldn't get addicted. Julian could make a habit of anything.

The light jumped some in his hand as Officer Torra drudged over to him. Julian had plenty of time standing outside the cafe to see him coming, he just didn't expected the man to talk to him. He was hired to work with the Equality Center and didn't see the inside of the precinct too much, but even a rookie like himself had heard stories.

"I was just..." Julian turned, sticking his thumb back at the waitress. Then he shut himself up. Telling him how Julian had just been trying to be nice to the overworked girl would just land him in trouble. He'd seen guys get picked on for less at the station than trying to impress a waitress. Not that Julian meant it like that! He just generally wanted to be liked.

He stuck the cigarette back in his mouth and took a deep breath until he figured out how to change the subject."You just get off shift?" He asked, trying to sound pleasant even if the stories he'd heard from other officers about Torra were making him nervous. Didn't seem like the type who was going to take to Julian, and that always made him anxious.

[Leon Torra]

Now, that was something that Leo could not saw anything about. He knew smoking was a bad habit that no one should have. It affected all sorts of things, health wise. But he had no room to talk about other’s addictions. Not when he was the one that had to have a drink to go to sleep at night, and another in the morning to ‘clear his head’. He could at least say that as much as he knew about this officer, which was little, he thought smoking wasn’t’ all that bad. In fact, the less Leon Torra knew about a fellow officer, the better. He was internal affairs. He was the one that took care of the dirty cops.

He frowned a little at Julian’s attempt to explain. The frown didn’t change his face much at all. It was still that dower, perpetually tired look that had come off of him for the last nine years. As he stood and awaited a better excuse, his lightly played with the small gold band on his left ring finger. He had a bad habit of that, fiddling with his wedding ring. “I see.” His tone had a slight growl behind it. “Well, that was very kind of you. But do try not to make that a habit. There is no such thing as a free meal. sooner or later, you have to pay for it. Maybe not now, but later.”

He didn’t mind the change of subject. He knew that Julian was a young rookie still. He didn’t want Julian to start to think that all cops ended up like himself. He was one of the few that had gotten terribly hurt by his job. He had burned out and now only kept on going because that was all he knew. He could do nothing else. He did hope that Julian would never end up like him: old before his time.

“I suppose…I’m off duty right now.” He had said it once before. He was never off shift. He was always working. If not on real cases, then on his own very special pet one. He’s stop when either he was dead, or he got his closure. “I was just heading back to the apartment to get some clean clothing.” He refused to call it anything but that. Leo never called it home. His home had burned down years and year ago, taking everything he ever loved with it.

“And you…I’m sure they’ve been running a young buck like you ragged.”

[Julian Wilde]

"It's just security up at the Equality Center." Julian knew that, as far as police work went, government security was pretty easy. His dad had worked up at the hospital for a long time. He had plenty of clot in a city built around it. So it had been easy to get Julian into the precinct nearby and ensure him a job there. While Julian would have preferred working somewhere further from home, he never had the ability to speak up to his father. Not even know that he had his own apartment, job, and life.

Besides, he didn't want to complain about his job. It was easy work. The worst were the mad parents. It was always up to Julian to assist them off the property, as they say. Only it left him feeling sick. They always got so upset with him, like it had been Julian who made their child use magic when he shouldn't have. It just didn't sit well with him, when people clearly didn't like him.

"Not that I'm complaining." He added it in quickly so that Officer Torra wouldn't think Julian hated his job. He didn't want the other officer to dislike him more than he was already convinced he did. Even if he never saw Officer Torra again, Julian would like to at least be on his good side before he left. "It's a nice place to work."

[Leon Torra]

The older officer found himself scowling once again. He knew the other was still new at this. But he didn’t like the way he spoke of his job. Just security. Security was important as any other law enforcement job. Security was what kept those who needed to be locked away, away and made sure only the right people came and went from the building. Security was what kept people safe. They were the first and last line of defense. He didn’t think however, that making such a speech would do much more than sound like a lecture. Sometimes, he knew he took after is preferred form more than he should. There was just something lion like about the way Leon operated. Even a young officer was a part of his new pride. It wasn’t half what his old one had been, but nothing would be.

He supposed in the end there was just no helping his other reaction. While he had been gruff at first, it had been a very parental gruffness. Now, that he had that out of the way, he could act more like a real father might. This might not be his boy. This might be a young man and old enough to not need it, but sometimes, Leo needed it. His frown changed into a slight smile and he spoke with a kinder tone. “I am sure that you are very good at what you do. Perhaps, when it’s time for me to…retire…” He said the word strangely. He said it like he was speaking of his own death and not his leaving the force. “I will seek employment in such a place as that.” He however would never ask Julian to give him a reference. He didn’t like to use others. He wasn’t too keen on nepotism. Regardless of what form he chose over all the others, he didn’t think that a person should only be hired because of who they knew. Then again, he didn’t really know anyone. He was either always at work, or drinking or being just a huge recluse.

“And who knows, I might have to come up there sometime. Not for you of course. I’m sure that you’re a perfectly good officer. Maybe if I do end up visiting, you might show me around after I’m done with work.” In all, he though tit might be nice change to actually be greeted happily when he came into a place, instead of with cagey looks and whispers that he had to pretend not to hear.

[Julian Wilde]

All in all, Julian was left confused.

First there was the glowering look he received, which made Julian mental wince. Please don't hate me, please don't hate me. He chanted it a few times in his head to make it true. He couldn't stand being the object of anyone's anger, much less a man of Officer Torra's statues.

Like a wish come true, the other man's expression softened. So Julian relaxed, thinking whatever had upset him he had forgave Julian for. Which was what he wanted, just to be liked. Only, he didn't feel Officer Torra liked him. In fact, the way he said it, it sounded almost... mocking. Like he was making fun of Julian and his job. Maybe he deserved it, for putting it the way he had.

His stomach dropped and he sucked hard at the cigarette in hand to make himself feel better. It didn't feel as good as approval, but it was something. "Ah, well, it isn't so hard to figure out," he muttered, talking to the ground instead of Officer Torra. The man made him nervous, and being hated made him feel sick. It wasn't turning into a good mix for Julian. He tried to cloud out his thoughts with more smoke.

[Leon Torra]

The older male hadn’t meant to confuse Julian. He wasn’t the sort who enjoyed making people wonder if he was losing his mind. It was all he could do to keep convincing the police shrink that he was not nuts. It was just that he couldn’t help himself. Being a rookie, Leon could only see Julian as sort of an over grown child. It was the father in him that could not turn away the feelings that he needed to be paternal with the boy. He would stop if the man told him too. He didn’t know that even if it was bothersome the man wouldn’t because he was afraid of the officer.

The young man did relax somewhat. That was good. He did want to see someone happy before he went to the sad and empty place that was his poor excuse of an apartment. In fact, the more he thought about it, the more he didn’t want to go back to that place quite yet. He would rather go somewhere and get a few drinks under his belt before he went back to get some clothing, so that he could return to his working. The fact that he was still standing here talking to this young man was rather surprising, as Leon usually never let anyone get in the way of his two favorite pastimes: drinking and crime fighting.

He wondered what it was like though, to have such a cushy job. He wondered what it would be like if he had a job like Julian’s. Surely, his family would still be alive and well. He wasn’t at all mocking how safe and sound the young man’s job was. Surely, no one worried about Julian when he came into his work. “You really do give yourself too little credit. I’ve seen some of the people in there. I’ve put a few there myself. That you are still there and in one piece is rather amazing. You’re is probably more dangerous than mine. I just look for crooked officers. You have to deal with…Advantaged Citizens.” Though he said it as if he was like everyone else, and worried about those of power, he was one of them. If Julian was to look in the registry, Leon Torra would be in there, as a Feral.

“So keep your chin up, young man.” He lightly scratched at his rather impressive facial hair. Even in human form, the man looked like he had an unruly lion’s mane. It was even more so, as he hadn’t seen the business end of a hair brush in a few days. “The ladies at the café don’t like a young man who mopes.” His voice trailed off. Like he knew. He hadn’t even looked at another woman in that way since the funeral. That was nine years ago.

[Julian Wilde]

"Ah, well..." Truth be told, Julian wasn't concerned with the waitress liking him that way. In that serious, liking way. That scared him more than anything else. Mostly, he just wanted to be well liked, friendly, not totally despised. He probably should have gone into another career, considering his lack of love for confrontation.

He glanced back into the little cafe, taking in a deeper breath of smoke. It would be easier on Julian's nerves if people would just smile at him more, and not ask anything of him. Which he knew was close to impossible, but ideally... It was hard to explain, just that he didn't like feeling that he was being so harshly judged. Like he did with Officer Torra.

Officer Torra was one of those older, well worn veterans of the force. He'd probably seen all sorts of officers, ones just like Julian. He probably already thought Julian was doomed to fail, and Julian didn't even blame him. "It's a nice enough place to work, I guess," he muttered into his cigarette, kicking at the sand resting on the sidewalk. Just another way to show how nervous the other officer made him.

Julian felt himself being inspected. That was what officer Torra did, wasn't it? Inspect failed cops, pick them apart. Julian has hardly had a year on duty, he already felt like he'd managed to screw it up, just by letting his dad get him that easy little government job. He was sure Officer Torra could see right past all Julian's small, anxious ticks to just how horrible Julian was. Or felt he was, anyway. Like he cheated without even meaning too. Well, accidentally cheating didn't make it any better.

[Leon Torra]

The rookie seemed to be growing more and more anxious by the second. Instinctually, Leon knew that he was somehow backing this young man into some sort of metaphorical corner. He realized that was the way it was a lot of the time. Even when he was trying so hard to be fatherly to the younger officers. Even when he tried hard not to come off as the hard nosed, no nonsense inspector, it never failed. He never failed to frighten and intimidate. He wondered sometimes if he would be treated with a little more warmth had things been different and he still had his family. As Julian kicked at the sand, Leon lightly twisted the small plain golden band about his finger. It was an indication that he was growing nervous because of the nervousness that was coming off this young rookie in waves. A nervousness that he could only sense because it made the animal in him perk up. The instinctual feline in his nature seemed all too aware of how cagey Julian was becoming in his presence.

Now, more than before, Leon needed a good hard drink. He needed something to wash the taste of this young man’s worry out of his mouth. He needed to banish the scent in a smoke filled bar. He needed to erase this awkward conversation with the sound of blaring music and the sighs of others who too needed to drown their sorrows. He needed it. He needed it so badly that were he to stop playing with his wedding ring, his hands would start to shake from slight withdraw. Still, he had no interest in going yet. Not when there was this rookie to talk to. This young man who could help him keep his mind off of those things that haunted his dreams and tortured his reality.

Still, he didn’t see Julian as a bad person. He younger man had only made a rookie mistake. Nothing more. He was sure that in time, and with experience, he would end up being very good at what he did. Some of the best cops Officer Torra knew were desk jockeys and paper pushers. Besides, a young man had to start somewhere. Even if nepotism was involved, Julian was starting from the bottom, just like everyone else before him. That, more than anything made Leon want to spoil the young man just a little. Because as a veteran, he could tell that this young man had a good work ethic. Even if he had only just met Julian, he could tell this young man would be a wonderful asset to any force.

“Just keep your nose clean, and I’m sure you’ll be the best there is in no time.” He tried hard to be uplifting. But in his tired and strained voice, it fell flat and hard. It was hard to be uplifting when his own spirit was dead. “And…if you are interested in getting more coffee any time soon, it can be on me. I often come by here for my breakfast.” If he ate at all that day. “It’d be nice to have the waitresses fawning over someone else for a change.” Not that he was fawned on all that much. He was too old for that. Already over 30, even without being in mourning still, he was sure there wasn’t a man or woman alive who would want him. If anything, they only fawned now because he was just so damn pathetic so mornings, when he was hung over and working on three or four hours of highly interrupted sleep.

[Julian Wilde]

"Right, sir... Officer Torra," Julian answered, clearly still plenty nervous about meeting the officer outside of work. It would be easier to get the approval of his peers if he didn't always act so anxious around them. He knew this, but he could never stop himself from getting tied up in the worry that they didn't like him.

He spent so much energy wondering what others thought of him, that when he actually meant them he had plenty of time to let all those thoughts flood his mind. Did they hate him? Was he doing something wrong? In the case of Officer Torra, Julian was sure that he'd made a mistake somewhere along the way and Officer Torra was just waiting for him to come out with it. Surely a rookie like Julian couldn't compare to the work put in by the seasoned officer, they both knew it.

He could even tell the older officer was trying to be nice, but then Julian knew it was just to be nice and nothing more. He'd never been the best at anything in his entire life, police work wasn't shaping up to be any different. He could only take it as a bad sign that Officer Torra would say something like that, as if he pitied Julian and was forcing himself to try and compliment the rookie.

"It was... It was nice meeting you." That was too formal, wasn't it? Julian sounded like a pompous ass, like his father, and in front of a coworker too. He stuffs the cigarette back in his mouth, closing his eyes as he inhales.

[Leon Torra]

Leon frowned a little again. He knew that the young man was merely being formal and polite to a senior officer. It was still bothersome. He didn’t want this boy’s approval. He was far too broken to ever need the approval of another. He wondered what Julian would say if he ever realized just how bad off the officer was. He also wondered what Julian would say if he knew that Leon just happened to be one of those people registered with the government. The fact that he was registered and so high in the ranks was a testament to his obsession and dedication. Still, the older male decided that he liked this boy. The young man sort of reminded Leon of what he had been like when he was younger. Trying too hard all the time. He didn’t think that Julian would appreciate if he decided to take the young man under his wing and see to his career. He knew that because Julian was not his child. His child was dead and buried.

Her didn’t even know why he had not just walked away yet. He did not pity the boy. In fact, of the two, Leon knew he was the more pitiable. Here he was, so desperate for human contact that he was bothering some young man who probably had a thousand things better to do than entertain him. The simple fact was that Leon had to have human contact with someone, else he might just forget why it was he was still trying to live a relatively sane life. No one at work talked with him for he was always too focused upon his duties. He had no one to speak to at his so called home. When he drank, he did so in silence. Julian was probably one of the few people that Leon had actually held a conversation with. Even if it was a short and rather awkward one.

It would seem that Julian had finally realized that he was wasting his time on an tired old man. The last words sounded very dismissive. It was a farewell if Leon had ever heard one. He didn’t think it sounded pompous at all. The young man was just trying to get away from the older officer with both of their dignities intact. “It is nice having met you. I suppose I won’t impose on you any longer.” For a very brief moment, the pain and the loneliness in Leon’s face was even more pronounced than usual. “I have places to be, and I am sure you have them too.” Leon, of course, was headed to a nice cozy bar somewhere. But Julian didn’t need to know that.