THE TEN THINGS I DO IN WRITING

Here are ten guidelines I found in my old, greying bookshelf on how to have a good attitude in writing and how - to love our craft. These are extracted from a book entitled The Complete Idiots Guide to Creative Writing by Laurie E. Rozakis Ph. D. These are simple words almost forgotten in yellowed parchment.

Are ye ready? On yer mark!!!

No. 1. Set aside the same writing time every day and stick to it. It doesn't have to be a huge block of time even half an hour will do but carve that time in granite. Don't let anyone chip away at your writing time.

No. 2. Your spouse and friends might be threatened by your determination to become a writer. "Maybe she won't love me when she's a big success," they think. Your boss might worry that you'll quit your day job when you make the best seller list. Ignore them. Follow your heart and become a writer.

No. 3. Don't be taken in by those people who try to force you into using a specific writing method. Write the way that feels most comfortable to you.

No. 4. Avoid using names of real people. There are too many lawyers in the world who don't have enough work and would love to sue your butt off. If you get your characters' names from a telephone book, use the first name of one person and the last name of another.

No. 5. Some writing czars argue that a title should be no more than six words long. Pish-posh I say to that. A title should be as long - or as short as it takes to do the job.

No. 6. An anachronism is a chronological error that places a person, event or object in an impossible historical context- like a character in a Shakespearean tragedy wearing a Timex. Check for anachronisms as you revise and edit.

No. 7. Now, just because I'm listing all these computer programs doesn't mean you should throw away your pencils and typewriters. It does mean that you might want to check these new fangled programs out to see if they work for you.

No. 8. We all like to check that we can be objective about our own work. But we can't. If editors make strong suggestions, they bear taking seriously. Set aside your ego and weigh the advice carefully.

No. 9. Writers-in-residence use thier spare time to write books, not read your novel, so, this doesn't necessarily make them more accessible.

No. 10. This isn't an easy route to go because most Famous Writers like being pestered by new writers about as much as they like getting a root canal. You might think that every one agrees that your writing is the most important thing in the world. Not so. Consider getting feedback from a writer's group before you call to see if Mario Puzo has a spare afternoon to read your book.

Bannnggg!!! You can now start typing your first word...