Cutting...

[Kkylie]

Ok so...I used to be a cutter but I have been around people *friends of mine* who do cut. I been wondering if anyone around here could offer up some advice on helping them to stop cutting..I dont think its exactly in my right to tell anyone anytihng since I'm no better then they are..

Honestly, I never actually made a conscious decision to stop, I just haven't in a while. Mostly because I have a good friend who gets really upset when I do..

I guess I just want to know what you think of this. Is it as destructive as everyone makes it out to be? I dont honestly think its any different than using a wall or punching bag to get out your frustrations..

[phoenix.writing]

I'm not a cutter, nor have I ever felt tempted. This is another topic where I feel well out of my depth to be giving advice, and I once again recommend that you speak to a professional who actually knows what they're talking about.

Disclaimer being offered, my own opinion is that cutting is very destructive. If you're cutting, you're causing yourself harm; it's dangerous, and there's a serious risk that you could badly injure yourself. I don't think that hitting a wall is much better, personally--you're still hurting yourself, although there's less of a chance of more serious injury than broken bones, I guess (making cutting more dangerous). As for a punching bag, if you're doing it properly with gloves and everything, then you're not hurting yourself, and I think that's what makes the difference.

Any way of dealing with your frustrations that involves injuring yourself is not a healthy way. Needing to hurt yourself isn't healthy. I believe that professional counselling is the best way to help you and your friends come up with safe ways to cope.

[Sleepy_Kitty]

My thoughts on the matter are that they probably won't stop until the cause of them doing it stops. They need to find other ways to relieve their inner 'pressure'. Talk to them and help them find other ways.

It is destructive and in the end, it isn't helping them (or you). Never mind the hygiene and health implications.

If you want to talk more, PM me. I can't promise to have all the answers but I can listen. I am a trained counsellor but this isn't exactly my field (Eating Disorders and Child therapy, if you are wondering). I can offer a listening ear though.

[Kkylie]

Yeah the last time I punched a wall, I couldn't move my hand for a few days. I had had an argument with my stepdad and I just up and hit my *very hard* wall...

I guess what I'm really interested in is what really is so destructive about it? I mean, I understand you're cutting yourself, trying to cause pain to yourself for various reasons. My mom says its all a control issue, and that may be true for some people but I know that beyond the emo brats who do it for show, there is often a much deeper issue.

It never really occured to me just what it does to people outside of myself until I told one of my friends what I was doing. She did not take the news well at all.

[maitressekatje]

As a former cutter and a person who needs to feel pain for release, I will say that it is and isn't destructive.

Yes, there is the chance of cutting too deeply and possibly dying, in which case there are probably suicidal feelings underlying the need to feel the pain/the control. Cutting, the need to cut, comes from feeling tired of everyone else causing you pain. You want to cause your own pain, because you want to feel like you are in control of something.

Yes, it is destructive in that you're hurting yourself. But as a kid who grew up in drug-addicted Hawai`i, I'll say it's a lot better than doing ice (crystal meth) as a form of release, because there's no recovery from that drug. It eats holes in your brain. Or smoking, which shortens your lifespan and makes your lungs black (and yes, I used to smoke too). Or underage drinking -- during adolescent and early twenties years your body is not well-equipped to deal with alcohol and binge drinking as a minor can have serious long term implications for your health (and yes, I used to be a teenage alcoholic -- in fact I still can't let myself drink too much because I will go back into addiction). Or with binge eating, where you can become obese and face serious health problems (diabetes, heart problems, joint, bone, back and knee problems) at a very young age. I quite possibly may not live past the age of 30 unless I get this fat taken care of.

At least with cutting the implications are short-term -- the worst that can happen is you can kill yourself from loss of blood, which may be what you want anyway, or you'll have some pretty bad scars for a few years. But heck -- no one can read Alone on my arm any more, and it wasn't that long ago (3, maybe 4 years).

Now, I'm not encouraging cutting. But I am saying that as far as release goes, the release of pain by causing pain, it's a lot better than some other alternatives -- alternatives that may not leave visible scars, but are much more dangerous.

As for finding other ways of coping, I would suggest very violent, bloody video games -- preferably ones where you can murder swathes of innocents. Fable comes to mind.

Another way is to write. Write long, swear-word ridden rants, either in your journal, on your blog, or in the "inferno" section of your favorite forum.

Turn up the volume on your stereo and scream. That's what I did at my dad's place when I had to visit him and his *%(%(&^* of a girlfriend and her (^*&(*^(* kids. I screamed until my throat was raw and bloody. (Primal Scream Therapy it's called.)

Or watch YouTube videos till you cry. Or laugh.

And as for telling your friends to stop...completely up to you. If you think there's serious danger in what they're doing (ie, that suicidal feelings underly the need to cut), then by all means talk to them about it. Come to them as a fellow cutter (lemme tell you, nothing pissed me off more than when my none cutter friends tried to tell me what was bad for me, or when my non-smoker friends did, or my non-obese-compulsive eater friends, or my non-drinker friends etc etc etc) and tell them you feel the pain too, and suggest maybe you guys play video games together instead of cutting. Or anything else that would help you cope together. /Shrug. I don't know your friends so I don't know what approach would work, but that's what I'd do.


But that's just my own personal opinion. Your mileage may vary.

[minfire]

Well... I don't think it's a good thing. Better than drugs and such, as someone else said.
But not a good thing. I agree that you should try and get rid of the root cause. Read some good (fiction) books on the matter maybe, I don't know if there are any, but there are ones on eating disorders and drugs and such so there must be...
I'm glad you're putting this much thought into this though. And with your friends... well you said that one person's concern was enough to stop you and so maybe that's what you should try to do, except that you also have the same experience as them.