A group of chess players were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse.
"But why?", they asked, as they moved off.
"Because," he said, "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."

Did you hear about the dyslexic devil worshipper? He sold his soul to Santa.

Q. What do you call an introspective, overweight, monk?
A. A Deep Fat Frier

Two Scottish lads are chatting in the pub about the one bloke's wedding which is just a few weeks away. The one bloke says to the other, "I think I'm gonna huv to wear a kilt for ma wedding."
The other bloke says, "Oh, aye? What's the tartan?"
He replies "Oh she'll be dressed in white."

Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my mum or my dad. Or my older brother Colin. Or my younger brother Ho-Chan-Chu. But I think it's Colin."

I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags, he's bisatchel.

I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah, I thought 'he's trying to pull a fast one'.

I'm against hunting, in fact I'm a pro-active hunt saboteur. I go out the night before and shoot the fox.

:lol: :lol: :lol: Rigsby is back lol :mexican:

...and bashing my frog...

;)