Title: On Line Dating Help!!!!!!!!
Paula - April 12, 2011 09:03 PM (GMT)
Advice needed please. I have now been on my own for 2 years and I'm going to give on line dating a go as I can't be bothered to dress up and go out (also a bit scared to with MD).
My question is, I am completing an on line profile so should I put in the fact that I suffer with MD or not? :unsure:
Part of me says no because it will freighten them off and it's none of their business and wait until I see if I like them and part of me says yes because then if they reply then they know what they are getting into and I will feel like a fraud if I go out with anybody with my 'secret'.! :unsure:
Very difficult one for me this as I always like to be honest and up front. God I wish I could live a normal bloody life, if it's not hard enough as it is! :angry:
sharon - April 12, 2011 09:31 PM (GMT)
I would keep quiet to begin with. If you meet someone you like you can then tell them once they have got to know you in person rather than just online.
Most people have never heard of Menieres anyway....and might think it's something revolting with the Disease tagged on!!
Hope you don't have to kiss too many frogs before you find a prince
Let us know how you get on.
You are brave...I wish you luck!!
If you find a nice one...see if he has a mate for Sally :rolleyes:
SUsie - April 13, 2011 07:39 AM (GMT)
Well done you I think this is a great idea,my best friend meet her huband online and they are extremley happy.
I agree with Sharon you want to get to know them and vice versa before raising the subject of your MD.
My husband had never heard of it and I waited until I was sure I liked him and that our relationship wa going somewhere before I told him about my MD.
When I was told I needed hearing aides it concerned me that he would love/like me less with was silly as he said "he fell in love with all of me not just my ears".
Once you have got to know the other person and found out what they are like as I am sure they will all sound wonderful online you can then tell them about your MD and how it affects you life.
Good luck with it all I know if I was single it would be the way I would go to meet someone,as the thought of going to bars and clubs is a no no not least because I could never hear what anyone was saying.
Please let us know how it is going and remember to always be safe,tell someone you trust where you are going when you start meeting potential beau's,Susie.X
Kath - April 13, 2011 08:32 AM (GMT)
Good on you Paula; I have a few friends who have found partners online.
:wub: I agree with Susie and sharon that it would be best to mention in person later on rather than on a profile as chances are there would be a lack of appreciation of the illness. The Menieres Socity do a good info leaflet calle "Understanding Menieres for Family and Friends" which could also help you explain your situation to anyone who got through the first date screen.
I don't have any personal experience to refer to as I got my MD after I'd got married. However I do know how difficult it is to explain the diseaase to close family members.
Very best of luck Paula
dizzybird - April 13, 2011 08:39 AM (GMT)
This is a difficult one. I'm not sure what I would do, although I don't think I would mention it on my profile, but would have to mention it, without going into great detail, before actually meeting someone in person. I'm sure everyone has something they don't want to be "upfront about" until they get to know the other person a little better.
Good luck, I think you are very brave, this illness makes things that other people take so much for granted, so b****y difficult.
Paula - April 13, 2011 12:46 PM (GMT)
Thank you everyone for your advice and support, I am going to give it a go as I am sick of trying to cope on my own and the boys are growing up and soon I will be just left with the dog and the guinea pigs. However I am very nervous of bringing the subject up as my partner left me the day I was diagnosed and we were engaged. Lets hope they are not all that spineless.
Sharon I am not too worried about kissing frogs as I have woken up with a few horses heads on my pillow in the past! ;)
Love and support to you all.
Sally - April 13, 2011 06:14 PM (GMT)
Paula, i have used a dating site as you know. At first i didn't mention the MD on my profile but then when you get chatting it comes up anyway as i don't work or travel and they want to know why so it doesn't take long! Most run but i did meet PC Plod but he wasn't interested once he knew either! I then put it on my profile so they already knew, then got no response! I then took myself off!! It's hard as most people my age don't have young children and they don't want to even understand MD and I'm not sure i would ever trust anyone again after being left because of MD! Most men on the sites want you to drop everything at short notice to go on trips holidays etc etc and when they find you can't, they don't want to know! I've actually told some to learn some manners!!
I really hope you have better luck than i did and let me know as I've been on my own over 3 years now!
Suzanne Thyer - May 2, 2011 05:53 PM (GMT)
Hi... I've been on my own for a few years now... I went though the death of an ex, which threw me for six for a long time.... I did have a few dates through friends of friends. I thought these guys may have understood but obviously didnt, as it never worked out after I told them about the Meniere's.
However, I have just recently started seeing a guy who I met online, and he is great about it... I just let it (and details of the operation i've recently had) drop into conversation through one of our many text's before we met.
So my advice is to go online!!!! If its worked for me it can work for anyone!
Good luck in finding your Mr right!
sharon - May 15, 2011 09:36 PM (GMT)
Any news Paula? ;)