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Yeah, I know that Cyros wrote the very first scene - I saw it last year, lol. I say, having somebody's help at first is a good way to start. =)
So yeah, not bad, Noshi boy! =D If it's advice you want, hmm, hmm, hmm!
For one thing, you might want to make some of the actions clearer, like:
| QUOTE | Cyberdemon: ...*shoots a rocket at the guy*
Random guy: *Doom death scream*
Ben: *sees the BFG and takes it* EAT THIS! |
...where did the BFG come from? While it becomes clear in the next line, which is good, it would have helped to state that Ben saw it sitting beside Random Guy's corpse. So, I'd make Ben's action something like:
Ben: *sees a BFG weapon sitting beside Random Guy's remains; promptly taking it* EAT THIS!
Yeah, you'll want to make sure the reader follows you, yanno? It would also help to work on your grammar here and there. If you know your grammar skills aren't perfect, that's okay; it wouldn't hurt to ask somebody to proofread for you.
General advice I have for writing epilogues? Avoid conventions, steer clear from cliches, use your imagination, and don't take epilogue writing too seriously. I mean, it's a bunch of people online pretending to be bosses from some video game; if it is anything other than tongue-in-cheek parody, you'll end up with pure cheese. But thankfully, it doesn't look like you're going this route, so... keep up the good work. =D
| QUOTE | | I had to rush it in time for Halloween. |
Who said you had to? One solution is to work on it a bit in advance, or you could do what I did: I released Cosmos's first Christmas ep in... October. =) I started a christmas ep months in advance, but since I figured it'd be able to be added before then, I figured I'd work the early xmas into the plot... mwehehehehehehe. >=3
btw, I giggled at the duck part, haha. And the Cyberdemon... he just might be dumber than you, Metalhead. XD j/k
So ya, nice work~
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WW Epilogue Topic: Tasty Gobs of DOOM, Updated: October 31st 2009!
