Not a Comic but..., Funny

[D2A666]

This might get it's own, permanent section in my cousins magazine he's gonna make for school, enjoy.



Dungeon Conflict
Created By: Jack Tyler

DM: Welcome to the world of D&D. I am your Dungeon Master, you may call me "DM"
for short.
Player 1: Yo, "DM" we get it, can we just get started already?
Player 2: Yeah man, I wanna make my Sorcerer!
Player 3: Wait, I thought I was the Sorcerer?
Player 1: No, you're the Wizard, now shut up so we can start.
(Awkward Silence)

DM: Alright guys, let's get started. What class is everyone going to be?
Player 1: I'm gonna' be a Barbarian. I feel like smashing stuff.
Player 3: Yeh and I guess I'm a Wizard...
Player 4: I'm onna' be a bard.
DM: And what about you? (looks to player 2)
Player 2: I already told you, a Sorcerer. Stupid...

(One hour later)

DM: Alright, everyone got their characters done?
Everyone: Yep.
DM: Good, now let's choose names.
Player 1: My Barbarian is "Golgor the Destroyer".
Player 2: Golgor? R.O.F.L.
Golgor: Shut it, nerd.
Player 2: Whatever man, my name will be Ed.
Golgor: Yeh cuz' that's SO original...
Player 4: Um... My name will be Tassledor the Gnome Bard. Tass for short.
Golgor and Ed: Lame.
Tass: Like you should talk!
Player 3: And I shall be "Steve the Dark."

(Everyone then begins to argue about their names)

DM: Shut up guys, your names are fine.
Golgor: Yeh, shut up guys, my name is the best anyway, right DM?
DM: Stop, seriously, I want to play.
Everyone: Fine...
DM: Alright guys, you all start out in a tavern in the town of Argonaught, and you all
know of eachother, but you aren't exactly friends. So, what do you do?
Golgor: Okay, I look around the room. Do I see the Sorcerer?
Ed: Why are you looking for me?
Golgor: You'll find out.
Ed: Don't try anything or I'll magic missle you back to the stone age.
Golgor: (Smiles) I ain't gonna' do anything, I'm just looking around the room.
DM: YES, you see Ed, but you don't know it's him.
Ed: Yeh, I'm cloaked and sitting in the dark corner of the tavern.
Golgor: Dumb Vampire.
Ed: Shut up and just go, I want to do my turn.
Golgor: Fine, I go up to the cloaked man in the corner and punch him in the face.
Ed: That's it, you're dead!
Tass: Wait, I play my song in the middle of the bar!
DM: Tavern.
Tass: Tavern!
DM: And you can't, it's not your turn yet.
Tass: (Sigh) Oh well, I tried.
Steve: Is it my turn yet?
Everyone: No.
Steve: This is boring.
DM: Just wait. Okay Golgor, you punch him in the face?
Golgor: Yes.
DM: Okay roll.
Golgor: I did, I got a 20.
Ed: You cheater!
Golgor: Nuh-uh.
Tass: I saw him roll.
Ed: Whatever, I'll kill you with my magic missle anyway.
DM: Okay, you hit the cloaked man. Roll for damage.
Golgor: Three.
DM: Okay, Ed you take three damage.
Ed: Yeh okay I'm at four.
DM: Now it's your turn, Ed.
Ed: Alright, I cast Magic Missle.
Golgor: (Sarcasm) Ooh I'm so scared.
Ed: This is what you get.
DM: Okay, roll.
Ed: 17.
DM: You hit.
Ed: Alright, and the damage... (rolls) 12.
Golgor: What!? Cheap.
Ed: I warned you. Now die.
Golgor: No, I still got two health left.
DM: Okay, and once the missle hits Golgor, several armed men walk up and break up
the fight.
Golgor and Ed: Aw.
DM: You were gonna ruin the game. I had to do something.
Tass: Yeah and I want to play serious.
Golgor: Whatever.

(Several hours later.)

Ed: Alright, I cast Magic Missle on the goblin. 10 damage.
DM: It's dead. Now it's Steves turn.
Steve: Alright, I wanna cast Magic Missle on one of the other goblins.
DM: You can't. You didn't prepare Magic Missle.
Steve: Yeh I did.
DM: No, you prepared Acid Splash Twice, Detect Magic, and Mirror Image. And
you used both Acid Splashes in the last battle, and Mirror image last turn.
Steve: Oh... I use Detect Magic then.
Ed: God, Wizards are so useless.
Steve: No, I might find something. Do I find anything?
DM: Yeah, you detect a magical sword by one of the goblins.
Steve: Okay, I go pick it up.
DM: You can't, Golgor already got it.
Steve: Does he know it's magical?
DM: No.
Steve: Okay then, I take it from him.
DM: You can't, you can bluff it from him though.
Steve: Okay, I bluff it from him.
DM: Alright, you walk up to him. What do you say?
Steve: Give me that sword.
DM: That's bluffing it from him?
Golgor: No, It's mine.
Steve: But I want it.
Golgor: So? You ain't getting it.
Steve: But it's magical!
Golgor: Well now you're doubly not getting it!
Steve: Than I kill you for it.
DM: Wow Steve, you'll make one hell of a politician some day.
Golgor: Try it!
Steve: I will!
DM: Well it's Golgors turn...
Golgor: HA! Stupid Wizard, you're so useless.
Steve: No, you're useless.
Golgor: You're even more useless than the Bard! At least his song gives me a +1 to attack rolls.
Tass: (Smiles and waves)
Steve: Oh yeah? I break his guitar! What now?
Golgor: Now I lost my +1... So you're gonna' pay!
Steve: Good luck hitting me without your +1! (laughs)
Golgor: Ha, I rolled a 12.
Steve: Nope, you missed.
(Pause)
Steve: Wait.. I forgot I put everything in intelligence so my defense is 11. You hit...
Golgor: Ha! Now die by this magical sword!
DM: Okay, roll.
Golgor: 12 Damage.
Steve: I'm at 1 health now.
Golgor: Wait, what about the magic effect?
DM: It blows up.
Golgor: What?
DM: The sword blows up. You both take... (Rolling) 48 damage.
Golgor: Well I have 52 health.
DM: You're level two...
Golgor: So!?
DM: You have 26 health. You're dead.
Steve: What about me?
DM: You're super-dead.
Ed: Ha ha! You noobs.
Golgor: Shut it, nerd.

(To be Continued...)

[Hunter7520]

Hmm interesting story you should make a comic, taht would make it funny too

[inuyasha1032]

I wub it =3

[D2A666]

Thanks inu, love positive feedback