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Pages: (3) 1 [2] 3  ( Go to first unread post )

 Solomons Grades
Solomon
Posted: Apr 13 2009, 04:14 PM


Head Admin


Group: Admin
Posts: 7,680
Member No.: 3
Joined: 9-January 08



Because I never finished it.


--------------------

Points:

"The first shot rang out from somewhere and I heard a bullet wiz by my face. With my pump action shotgun ready, I shoot the first fool I see."

Grano's so gangster.
Top
Granobulax
Posted: Apr 13 2009, 04:44 PM


He's even got his hand over where I live...


Group: Admin
Posts: 7,880
Member No.: 35
Joined: 31-May 08



QUOTE (Solomon @ Apr 13 2009, 04:14 PM)
Because I never finished it.

FINISH IT!!!


--------------------
Points:


I scare little kids.
user posted image

QUOTE (treacherous @ Aug 16 2008, 12:12 PM)
RRRAOAAOAOAORRARRAA!!...  Blue lights and sirens rang through the night!! Yeah, they all wanna kill each other... HERE ME CITY!! THE STREETS BELONG TO THE GANGS NOW!! THIS IS THE NEW ORDER!! PREPARE FOR CHAOS!!

Solomon and I may be gangsta, but treach is the gangsta of the year!
Top
Solomon
Posted: Apr 13 2009, 06:52 PM


Head Admin


Group: Admin
Posts: 7,680
Member No.: 3
Joined: 9-January 08



I'm not going to be doing any writing for awhile. I'm working on a big project.


--------------------

Points:

"The first shot rang out from somewhere and I heard a bullet wiz by my face. With my pump action shotgun ready, I shoot the first fool I see."

Grano's so gangster.
Top
treacherous
Posted: Apr 17 2009, 02:22 AM


Let Hammy have his Bison. I've got Zod.


Group: Admin
Posts: 3,499
Member No.: 37
Joined: 10-June 08



QUOTE (Granobulax @ Apr 13 2009, 04:44 PM)
FINISH IT!!!

That only works when I or Jesse Custer do it. It's called the voice.

Props to anybody who gets the reference.


--------------------
Points:

Ursa: You are master of all you survey.
General Zod: [bored] So I was yesterday. And the day before.




QUOTE (SilverSurfer092 @ Apr 9 2009, 03:27 AM)
WTFYES  Treacherous is full of pwnage.
Top
nicker
Posted: Apr 17 2009, 02:28 AM


Expert


Group: Members
Posts: 1,052
Member No.: 223
Joined: 4-February 09



QUOTE (treacherous @ Apr 17 2009, 02:22 AM)
That only works when I or Jesse Custer do it. It's called the voice.

Props to anybody who gets the reference.

I do! I do! wink.gif


--------------------
Points
Top
Bassetman
Posted: Apr 17 2009, 02:39 AM


Gentleman Skeleton


Group: Admin
Posts: 4,701
Member No.: 20
Joined: 14-January 08



I use grey.

It's just so me.


Also blue was considered.


--------------------
Top
treacherous
Posted: Apr 17 2009, 06:40 PM


Let Hammy have his Bison. I've got Zod.


Group: Admin
Posts: 3,499
Member No.: 37
Joined: 10-June 08



QUOTE (nicker @ Apr 17 2009, 02:28 AM)
QUOTE (treacherous @ Apr 17 2009, 02:22 AM)
That only works when I or Jesse Custer do it.  It's called the voice.

Props to anybody who gets the reference.

I do! I do! wink.gif

What is it?


--------------------
Points:

Ursa: You are master of all you survey.
General Zod: [bored] So I was yesterday. And the day before.




QUOTE (SilverSurfer092 @ Apr 9 2009, 03:27 AM)
WTFYES  Treacherous is full of pwnage.
Top
Darkender
Posted: Apr 17 2009, 08:55 PM


Mr. Ego


Group: Members
Posts: 7,693
Member No.: 10
Joined: 10-January 08



You can grade Doctor Hazel if you want...


--------------------
Points:A Gazillion almost as much as my swagga
Top
Solomon
Posted: Apr 17 2009, 09:29 PM


Head Admin


Group: Admin
Posts: 7,680
Member No.: 3
Joined: 9-January 08



QUOTE (Darkender @ Apr 17 2009, 08:55 PM)
You can grade Doctor Hazel if you want...

Please refer to the topic opener.


--------------------

Points:

"The first shot rang out from somewhere and I heard a bullet wiz by my face. With my pump action shotgun ready, I shoot the first fool I see."

Grano's so gangster.
Top
Solomon
Posted: Apr 19 2009, 07:18 PM


Head Admin


Group: Admin
Posts: 7,680
Member No.: 3
Joined: 9-January 08



To Nicker:

Entertainment- 3
-It was boring, repitive, forgetable, and uneventful.

Originality-5
-Yet another zombie story, Nd4. I mean really? You want to try to write something that hasn't been read hundreds of times before.

Fluency-5
-This was choppy. Not as bad as you used to be, but it still didn't flow.

Plot-2
- It was straight forward, and dull. There were no suprises, intricate plot twists, or any hint of an interesting plot at all. It was too simplistic.

Charcters-5
-I'll admit I did feel a minor connection with a few of the characters, but other than that you portrayed absolutely none of the thoughts, feelings, actions, or emotions of the characters.

Distinction of Voice-2
- A lot of your sentences interuppted the flow of the story, and appears that they were thrown in there because you couldn't think of anything else to put there. Stay away from fillers. One thing I would suggest doing is write how YOU talk, not how you WANT to talk, but what you ACTUALLY sound like. Once you get good with that then you can adapt a voice, because the I'm a bad-ass tone that you've been using isn't working at all.

Enhancers-0
-I didn't see any...At all.

Grammar/Spelling- 10
-I didn't notice anything, but if I were you I'd go back and double check it just to be safe.

Ain't that suprising.


Description- 1
- You used minimal description. When you did use it was pretty mediocore.

Theme- 0
-There was no message in this story

Overall: 33

Poor.


--------------------

Points:

"The first shot rang out from somewhere and I heard a bullet wiz by my face. With my pump action shotgun ready, I shoot the first fool I see."

Grano's so gangster.
Top
nicker
Posted: Apr 21 2009, 08:46 PM


Expert


Group: Members
Posts: 1,052
Member No.: 223
Joined: 4-February 09



QUOTE (Solomon @ Apr 19 2009, 07:18 PM)
To Nicker:

Entertainment- 3
-It was boring, repitive, forgetable, and uneventful.

Originality-5
-Yet another zombie story, Nd4. I mean really? You want to try to write something that hasn't been read hundreds of times before.

Fluency-5
-This was choppy. Not as bad as you used to be, but it still didn't flow.

Plot-2
- It was straight forward, and dull. There were no suprises, intricate plot twists, or any hint of an interesting plot at all. It was too simplistic.

Charcters-5
-I'll admit I did feel a minor connection with a few of the characters, but other than that you portrayed absolutely none of the thoughts, feelings, actions, or emotions of the characters.

Distinction of Voice-2
- A lot of your sentences interuppted the flow of the story, and appears that they were thrown in there because you couldn't think of anything else to put there. Stay away from fillers. One thing I would suggest doing is write how YOU talk, not how you WANT to talk, but what you ACTUALLY sound like. Once you get good with that then you can adapt a voice, because the I'm a bad-ass tone that you've been using isn't working at all.

Enhancers-0
-I didn't see any...At all.

Grammar/Spelling- 10
-I didn't notice anything, but if I were you I'd go back and double check it just to be safe.

Ain't that suprising.


Description- 1
- You used minimal description. When you did use it was pretty mediocore.

Theme- 0
-There was no message in this story

Overall: 33

Poor.

... You forgot one... Also the zombie story isnt my work. Its my friends.


--------------------
Points
Top
nicker
Posted: Apr 21 2009, 08:47 PM


Expert


Group: Members
Posts: 1,052
Member No.: 223
Joined: 4-February 09



QUOTE (treacherous @ Apr 17 2009, 06:40 PM)
QUOTE (nicker @ Apr 17 2009, 02:28 AM)
QUOTE (treacherous @ Apr 17 2009, 02:22 AM)
That only works when I or Jesse Custer do it.  It's called the voice.

Props to anybody who gets the reference.

I do! I do! wink.gif

What is it?

The voice of God. wink.gif


--------------------
Points
Top
Solomon
Posted: May 6 2009, 06:09 PM


Head Admin


Group: Admin
Posts: 7,680
Member No.: 3
Joined: 9-January 08



QUOTE (nicker @ Apr 21 2009, 08:46 PM)

... You forgot one... Also the zombie story isnt my work. Its my friends.

Forgot one what?

I don't really care who wrote it, the grade still stands.


--------------------

Points:

"The first shot rang out from somewhere and I heard a bullet wiz by my face. With my pump action shotgun ready, I shoot the first fool I see."

Grano's so gangster.
Top
nicker
Posted: May 6 2009, 07:54 PM


Expert


Group: Members
Posts: 1,052
Member No.: 223
Joined: 4-February 09



QUOTE (Solomon @ May 6 2009, 06:09 PM)
QUOTE (nicker @ Apr 21 2009, 08:46 PM)

...  You forgot one...  Also  the zombie story isnt my work. Its my friends.

Forgot one what?

I don't really care who wrote it, the grade still stands.

The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles vs Blanka one I sent you... sleep.gif


--------------------
Points
Top
Solomon
Posted: May 6 2009, 08:12 PM


Head Admin


Group: Admin
Posts: 7,680
Member No.: 3
Joined: 9-January 08



QUOTE (nicker @ May 6 2009, 07:54 PM)
QUOTE (Solomon @ May 6 2009, 06:09 PM)
QUOTE (nicker @ Apr 21 2009, 08:46 PM)

...   You forgot one...  Also  the zombie story isnt my work. Its my friends.

Forgot one what?

I don't really care who wrote it, the grade still stands.

The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles vs Blanka one I sent you... sleep.gif

Oh. It's on my list.


--------------------

Points:

"The first shot rang out from somewhere and I heard a bullet wiz by my face. With my pump action shotgun ready, I shoot the first fool I see."

Grano's so gangster.
Top
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