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Pages: (4) « First ... 2 3 [4]  ( Go to first unread post )

 Nd4's reviews, Cmon lay it on me
Bassetman
Posted: Mar 1 2009, 07:15 PM


Gentleman Skeleton


Group: Admin
Posts: 4,701
Member No.: 20
Joined: 14-January 08



First Page is MADE OF WIN. laugh.gif


--------------------
Top
Solomon
Posted: Mar 1 2009, 07:20 PM


Head Admin


Group: Admin
Posts: 7,680
Member No.: 3
Joined: 9-January 08



QUOTE (Bassetman @ Mar 1 2009, 07:15 PM)
First Page is MADE OF WIN. laugh.gif

biggrin.gif


--------------------

Points:

"The first shot rang out from somewhere and I heard a bullet wiz by my face. With my pump action shotgun ready, I shoot the first fool I see."

Grano's so gangster.
Top
Solomon
Posted: Mar 1 2009, 07:23 PM


Head Admin


Group: Admin
Posts: 7,680
Member No.: 3
Joined: 9-January 08



QUOTE (Pseudonym @ Mar 1 2009, 06:35 PM)
Silver's comment which is now my sig is sooooo apt.

My story had a conflict, a resolution and everything!

So did mine. biggrin.gif

Conflict: He had the last cookie.

Resolution: I shot him.


--------------------

Points:

"The first shot rang out from somewhere and I heard a bullet wiz by my face. With my pump action shotgun ready, I shoot the first fool I see."

Grano's so gangster.
Top
SilverSurfer092
Posted: Mar 1 2009, 08:08 PM


IT'S OVER 9000!!!!!!


Group: Admin
Posts: 9,072
Member No.: 67
Joined: 31-July 08



QUOTE (Pseudonym @ Mar 1 2009, 07:12 PM)
QUOTE (SilverSurfer092 @ Mar 1 2009, 06:46 PM)
QUOTE (Pseudonym @ Mar 1 2009, 06:35 PM)
Silver's comment which is now my sig is sooooo apt.

My story had a conflict, a resolution and everything!

Que es esto APT?

Find a dictionary.

Oh. Ha. I didn't know people actually used somewhat intelligent words on this site. I thought you misspelled a word or something along those lines.


--------------------
Points: OVER 9000!!!!!!
Top
granobulax
Posted: Mar 1 2009, 11:40 PM


He's even got his hand over where I live...


Group: Admin
Posts: 7,880
Member No.: 35
Joined: 31-May 08



Here ya go nicker. I want you to grade Solomon and my last CBUB match colaboration. I'm quite interested in your response.

A storm had gathered over middle earth. The skies were set ablaze with streaks of burning white fire. The mountains trembled as the clouds erupted in orchestrated destruction. The darkness of the land stretched to all corners of the earth. Waters of change streamed down from the skies to the blackened soil below, leaving an assortment of scattered rivers that twisted and turned through the destiny of men.


However, the land was not silent as the heavens threatened to split open. The deafening clash of war battled with the crash of thunder, creating an onslaught of chaos from the winds of heaven, to the fires of hell. Screams of death, and of Pain erupted throughout the battlegrounds, shattering the fabric of peace, and tranquility. Their blood ran cold as it twisted through their veins, intensifying their murderous Psalm. The silent voices of surrender were obliterated by the wails of the dead, and the blood bath continued.

One voice cried out for help in the ever-maddening chaos. A gentle plea cast out amongst the heavens. Only the most valiant, vigilant, and sensitive beings in the vast cosmos would hear his call. Gandolf the grey, the once proud wizard, now lay in a pool of his own blood. Crimson rivers of life streaming away with deadly speed. With Gandolf’s last prayer came hope of retribution for the people of middle earth.

Peace. Years of freedom and prosperity glorified the Republic. Only bureaucracy stood in the way of total perfection within their society. Yoda had the sense for days now that something was awry. This feeling was now confirmed with the faintest of cries. At once, Yoda knew what he must do.

The aging Jedi Master opened his mind to the will of those long gone, and allowed them to carve a path before him. Without any farewells the renowned Master quickly sped away from the massive cluster of stars that he had known for so long. The hand of destiny and the will of fate guided his path across the murky sea of stars. Time passed without meaning, as Yoda’s galactic vessel seemed to divert the eye of divine intervention.

Yoda sensed the spark of life, blatantly extinguished from innumerable beings as his vessel screamed through the heavens on its way towards destiny. Never before had Yoda known such blatant darkness... such malevolence. Evil emanated from every pore of this planet’s surface.


Strangely, Yoda could sense a power other than the force covering this strange planet. This was a strange sort of power; subtly different than the force. He could feel an extreme conflict between the force and this evil magic surging all around him, sparking distraught and dire emotions deep within his soul.

As his feet hit the burnt wasteland of a civilization destroyed by a rift in the ocean of peace, Yoda felt a sensation of fear being sent through his spine. Deep sadness washed over him as he clutched at his heart. He heard the cries of the unjustified, and felt the tears of a land once peaceful. These emotions threatened to engulf the aging Jedi master but he soon remembered his long years of training and these feelings quickly fled his mind, only to be embedded deep within his consciousness. Yoda felt a pulse coming from the twisted castle in the distance, which towered above the forsaken grounds. Whatever he must do, it was there. He could feel it.

High above in a place that nearly touched the kingdom of the gods, but was probably closer to realms of hell stood the being responsible for all this destruction. He went by many names, but only could describe his true desire for chaos, Sauron. Sauron, holder of the ancient ring of lore felt Yoda’s presence, and now he waited for what he knew would be the end of all opposition to his reign, or the end to everything he desired.

At once, Sauron sent out the spawn of hell itself, the ring wraiths, to smite down upon the one to bring about his undoing. A subtle uneasiness spread throughout the nerves in his body, casting the first shred of doubt into the diabolical mind of the fallen angel. From atop his mighty tower, Sauron watched in astonishment as his beloved ring wraiths were slaughtered in battle. With firm conviction, he knew what must be done. None but he has the knowledge and power to down such a worthy foe. Grasping his mighty indestructible sword, he made haste towards the impending battle.

Upon the battlefield, the two faced each other. The tremendous conflicting powers shook the very ground as they closed in on each other. Sparks began to fly through the air as the atmosphere became charged with tension. Both warriors could sense the disruption of energies and a foreboding feeling of impending doom beat in the very core of their being. No words needed to be spoken. The magic and force defied each other as they flowed through the flesh of their hosts, threatening to rip the very fabric of space and time. All at once…

Blackness… then a blinding light rushed upon them in a whirl of confusion. No longer were they standing on the charred grounds of middle earth. A deal had been struck between the entities of force and magic. Yoda and Sauron would be their avatars in a battle of wits.


--------------------
Points:


I scare little kids.
user posted image

QUOTE (treacherous @ Aug 16 2008, 12:12 PM)
RRRAOAAOAOAORRARRAA!!...  Blue lights and sirens rang through the night!! Yeah, they all wanna kill each other... HERE ME CITY!! THE STREETS BELONG TO THE GANGS NOW!! THIS IS THE NEW ORDER!! PREPARE FOR CHAOS!!

Solomon and I may be gangsta, but treach is the gangsta of the year!
Top
Ethan
Posted: Mar 1 2009, 11:48 PM


The Gorram Hypocyte™


Group: Members
Posts: 3,659
Member No.: 82
Joined: 8-September 08



Um, ND4's how about you like get more thoughts into each thing you grade and pick out specific parts to grade for, like Solo to better decide a grade.

Top
Solomon
Posted: Mar 2 2009, 02:03 AM


Head Admin


Group: Admin
Posts: 7,680
Member No.: 3
Joined: 9-January 08



QUOTE (granobulax @ Mar 1 2009, 11:40 PM)
Here ya go nicker. I want you to grade Solomon and my last CBUB match colaboration. I'm quite interested in your response.

A storm had gathered over middle earth. The skies were set ablaze with streaks of burning white fire. The mountains trembled as the clouds erupted in orchestrated destruction. The darkness of the land stretched to all corners of the earth. Waters of change streamed down from the skies to the blackened soil below, leaving an assortment of scattered rivers that twisted and turned through the destiny of men.


However, the land was not silent as the heavens threatened to split open. The deafening clash of war battled with the crash of thunder, creating an onslaught of chaos from the winds of heaven, to the fires of hell. Screams of death, and of Pain erupted throughout the battlegrounds, shattering the fabric of peace, and tranquility. Their blood ran cold as it twisted through their veins, intensifying their murderous Psalm. The silent voices of surrender were obliterated by the wails of the dead, and the blood bath continued.

One voice cried out for help in the ever-maddening chaos. A gentle plea cast out amongst the heavens. Only the most valiant, vigilant, and sensitive beings in the vast cosmos would hear his call. Gandolf the grey, the once proud wizard, now lay in a pool of his own blood. Crimson rivers of life streaming away with deadly speed. With Gandolf’s last prayer came hope of retribution for the people of middle earth.

Peace. Years of freedom and prosperity glorified the Republic. Only bureaucracy stood in the way of total perfection within their society. Yoda had the sense for days now that something was awry. This feeling was now confirmed with the faintest of cries. At once, Yoda knew what he must do.

The aging Jedi Master opened his mind to the will of those long gone, and allowed them to carve a path before him. Without any farewells the renowned Master quickly sped away from the massive cluster of stars that he had known for so long. The hand of destiny and the will of fate guided his path across the murky sea of stars. Time passed without meaning, as Yoda’s galactic vessel seemed to divert the eye of divine intervention.

Yoda sensed the spark of life, blatantly extinguished from innumerable beings as his vessel screamed through the heavens on its way towards destiny. Never before had Yoda known such blatant darkness... such malevolence. Evil emanated from every pore of this planet’s surface.


Strangely, Yoda could sense a power other than the force covering this strange planet. This was a strange sort of power; subtly different than the force. He could feel an extreme conflict between the force and this  evil magic surging all around him, sparking distraught and dire emotions deep within his soul.

As his feet hit the burnt wasteland of a civilization destroyed by a rift in the ocean of peace, Yoda felt a sensation of fear being sent through his spine. Deep sadness washed over him as he clutched at his heart. He heard the cries of the unjustified, and felt the tears of a land once peaceful. These emotions threatened to engulf the aging Jedi master but he soon remembered his long years of training and these feelings quickly fled his mind, only to be embedded deep within his consciousness. Yoda felt a pulse coming from the twisted castle in the distance, which towered above the forsaken grounds. Whatever he must do, it was there. He could feel it.

High above in a place that nearly touched the kingdom of the gods, but was probably closer to realms of hell stood the being responsible for all this destruction. He went by many names, but only could describe his true desire for chaos, Sauron. Sauron, holder of the ancient ring of lore felt Yoda’s presence, and now he waited for what he knew would be the end of all opposition to his reign, or the end to everything he desired.

At once, Sauron sent out the spawn of hell itself, the ring wraiths, to smite down upon the one to bring about his undoing. A subtle uneasiness spread throughout the nerves in his body, casting the first shred of doubt into the diabolical mind of the fallen angel. From atop his mighty tower, Sauron watched in astonishment as his beloved ring wraiths were slaughtered in battle. With firm conviction, he knew what must be done. None but he has the knowledge and power to down such a worthy foe. Grasping his mighty indestructible sword, he made haste towards the impending battle.

Upon the battlefield, the two faced each other. The tremendous conflicting powers shook the very ground as they closed in on each other. Sparks began to fly through the air as the atmosphere became charged with tension. Both warriors could sense the disruption of energies and a foreboding feeling of impending doom beat in the very core of their being. No words needed to be spoken. The magic and force defied each other as they flowed through the flesh of their hosts, threatening to rip the very fabric of space and time. All at once…

Blackness… then a blinding light rushed upon them in a whirl of confusion. No longer were they standing on the charred grounds of middle earth. A deal had been struck between the entities of force and magic. Yoda and Sauron would be their avatars in a battle of wits.


That's not the whole thing.

Here's the rest of it:

Separated from their physical selves, the two bastions of power floated within a swirling vortex of the universal soul. It was the confrontation point of all that had been, and all that will be. This was a place far beyond the reaches of life; the birthplace of creation, and the beacon of death.

It was here that the representatives of light, and dark would confront each other. Powers surged through their souls, before being released in a collision of epic destruction. A fire burned within them; a passion emulated by the resounding sense of the end. Their minds…their souls colliding through symbols of their desires, and their hopes. Creation, and destruction, Life, and death, Love, and hate, the beginning, and the end; it was here that the fate of all would be decided.


--------------------

Points:

"The first shot rang out from somewhere and I heard a bullet wiz by my face. With my pump action shotgun ready, I shoot the first fool I see."

Grano's so gangster.
Top
nicker
Posted: Mar 2 2009, 04:02 AM


Expert


Group: Members
Posts: 1,052
Member No.: 223
Joined: 4-February 09



QUOTE (granobulax @ Mar 1 2009, 11:40 PM)
Here ya go nicker. I want you to grade Solomon and my last CBUB match colaboration. I'm quite interested in your response.

A storm had gathered over middle earth. The skies were set ablaze with streaks of burning white fire. The mountains trembled as the clouds erupted in orchestrated destruction. The darkness of the land stretched to all corners of the earth. Waters of change streamed down from the skies to the blackened soil below, leaving an assortment of scattered rivers that twisted and turned through the destiny of men.


However, the land was not silent as the heavens threatened to split open. The deafening clash of war battled with the crash of thunder, creating an onslaught of chaos from the winds of heaven, to the fires of hell. Screams of death, and of Pain erupted throughout the battlegrounds, shattering the fabric of peace, and tranquility. Their blood ran cold as it twisted through their veins, intensifying their murderous Psalm. The silent voices of surrender were obliterated by the wails of the dead, and the blood bath continued.

One voice cried out for help in the ever-maddening chaos. A gentle plea cast out amongst the heavens. Only the most valiant, vigilant, and sensitive beings in the vast cosmos would hear his call. Gandolf the grey, the once proud wizard, now lay in a pool of his own blood. Crimson rivers of life streaming away with deadly speed. With Gandolf’s last prayer came hope of retribution for the people of middle earth.

Peace. Years of freedom and prosperity glorified the Republic. Only bureaucracy stood in the way of total perfection within their society. Yoda had the sense for days now that something was awry. This feeling was now confirmed with the faintest of cries. At once, Yoda knew what he must do.

The aging Jedi Master opened his mind to the will of those long gone, and allowed them to carve a path before him. Without any farewells the renowned Master quickly sped away from the massive cluster of stars that he had known for so long. The hand of destiny and the will of fate guided his path across the murky sea of stars. Time passed without meaning, as Yoda’s galactic vessel seemed to divert the eye of divine intervention.

Yoda sensed the spark of life, blatantly extinguished from innumerable beings as his vessel screamed through the heavens on its way towards destiny. Never before had Yoda known such blatant darkness... such malevolence. Evil emanated from every pore of this planet’s surface.


Strangely, Yoda could sense a power other than the force covering this strange planet. This was a strange sort of power; subtly different than the force. He could feel an extreme conflict between the force and this evil magic surging all around him, sparking distraught and dire emotions deep within his soul.

As his feet hit the burnt wasteland of a civilization destroyed by a rift in the ocean of peace, Yoda felt a sensation of fear being sent through his spine. Deep sadness washed over him as he clutched at his heart. He heard the cries of the unjustified, and felt the tears of a land once peaceful. These emotions threatened to engulf the aging Jedi master but he soon remembered his long years of training and these feelings quickly fled his mind, only to be embedded deep within his consciousness. Yoda felt a pulse coming from the twisted castle in the distance, which towered above the forsaken grounds. Whatever he must do, it was there. He could feel it.

High above in a place that nearly touched the kingdom of the gods, but was probably closer to realms of hell stood the being responsible for all this destruction. He went by many names, but only could describe his true desire for chaos, Sauron. Sauron, holder of the ancient ring of lore felt Yoda’s presence, and now he waited for what he knew would be the end of all opposition to his reign, or the end to everything he desired.

At once, Sauron sent out the spawn of hell itself, the ring wraiths, to smite down upon the one to bring about his undoing. A subtle uneasiness spread throughout the nerves in his body, casting the first shred of doubt into the diabolical mind of the fallen angel. From atop his mighty tower, Sauron watched in astonishment as his beloved ring wraiths were slaughtered in battle. With firm conviction, he knew what must be done. None but he has the knowledge and power to down such a worthy foe. Grasping his mighty indestructible sword, he made haste towards the impending battle.

Upon the battlefield, the two faced each other. The tremendous conflicting powers shook the very ground as they closed in on each other. Sparks began to fly through the air as the atmosphere became charged with tension. Both warriors could sense the disruption of energies and a foreboding feeling of impending doom beat in the very core of their being. No words needed to be spoken. The magic and force defied each other as they flowed through the flesh of their hosts, threatening to rip the very fabric of space and time. All at once…

Blackness… then a blinding light rushed upon them in a whirl of confusion. No longer were they standing on the charred grounds of middle earth. A deal had been struck between the entities of force and magic. Yoda and Sauron would be their avatars in a battle of wits.



Idea: Great. You and Solo should make a sequal to this.

Spelling mistakes: Didnt notice any.

Despritcon: Awsome superb.

All in all a 75 : a good story.


--------------------
Points
Top
treacherous
Posted: Mar 2 2009, 04:43 AM


Let Hammy have his Bison. I've got Zod.


Group: Admin
Posts: 3,499
Member No.: 37
Joined: 10-June 08



Look at ND4 grading. He's growing up, right before our eyes.


--------------------
Points:

Ursa: You are master of all you survey.
General Zod: [bored] So I was yesterday. And the day before.




QUOTE (SilverSurfer092 @ Apr 9 2009, 03:27 AM)
WTFYES  Treacherous is full of pwnage.
Top
Marvel Man
Posted: Mar 2 2009, 05:11 AM


The Marvel Crusader


Group: Members
Posts: 1,784
Member No.: 89
Joined: 28-September 08



QUOTE (treacherous @ Mar 2 2009, 04:43 AM)
Look at ND4 grading. He's growing up, right before our eyes.

I bet ND4's gonna be a great writer one day...


--------------------
Points


user posted image
OFFICIAL 2x HAVEN WRITING COMPETITION CHAMPION!!
OFFICIAL 2ND PLACE WRITER IN ADMIN CONTEST!!

"Do you know what happens to toads that are struck by lightning?
The same thing that happens to everything else."

-Storm
Top
Bassetman
Posted: Mar 2 2009, 05:32 AM


Gentleman Skeleton


Group: Admin
Posts: 4,701
Member No.: 20
Joined: 14-January 08



Well, he's what now, 12, 11?

I guess he has time.


--------------------
Top
granobulax
Posted: Mar 2 2009, 10:22 AM


He's even got his hand over where I live...


Group: Admin
Posts: 7,880
Member No.: 35
Joined: 31-May 08



To nicker: Nice review! I look foward to more from ya!

To Solomon: Thanks for adding the rest of the story. I must have saved an incomplete version on my computer. I'll have to update it.

To treacherous: Yep, he seems to grow up a little more each day. Remember ND4's first match on CBUB? Cujo vs Bule (Blue laugh.gif )?


--------------------
Points:


I scare little kids.
user posted image

QUOTE (treacherous @ Aug 16 2008, 12:12 PM)
RRRAOAAOAOAORRARRAA!!...  Blue lights and sirens rang through the night!! Yeah, they all wanna kill each other... HERE ME CITY!! THE STREETS BELONG TO THE GANGS NOW!! THIS IS THE NEW ORDER!! PREPARE FOR CHAOS!!

Solomon and I may be gangsta, but treach is the gangsta of the year!
Top
treacherous
Posted: Mar 2 2009, 03:50 PM


Let Hammy have his Bison. I've got Zod.


Group: Admin
Posts: 3,499
Member No.: 37
Joined: 10-June 08



To me, that was his best one ever.


--------------------
Points:

Ursa: You are master of all you survey.
General Zod: [bored] So I was yesterday. And the day before.




QUOTE (SilverSurfer092 @ Apr 9 2009, 03:27 AM)
WTFYES  Treacherous is full of pwnage.
Top
granobulax
Posted: Mar 3 2009, 12:53 AM


He's even got his hand over where I live...


Group: Admin
Posts: 7,880
Member No.: 35
Joined: 31-May 08



It's too bad ND4 didn't save that match. I would love to read it right about now laugh.gif


--------------------
Points:


I scare little kids.
user posted image

QUOTE (treacherous @ Aug 16 2008, 12:12 PM)
RRRAOAAOAOAORRARRAA!!...  Blue lights and sirens rang through the night!! Yeah, they all wanna kill each other... HERE ME CITY!! THE STREETS BELONG TO THE GANGS NOW!! THIS IS THE NEW ORDER!! PREPARE FOR CHAOS!!

Solomon and I may be gangsta, but treach is the gangsta of the year!
Top
MarvelFan15
Posted: Mar 13 2009, 10:32 PM


A God Among Heroes


Group: Members
Posts: 1,013
Member No.: 232
Joined: 19-February 09



QUOTE (granobulax @ Mar 3 2009, 12:53 AM)
It's too bad ND4 didn't save that match. I would love to read it right about now laugh.gif

How did it go?


--------------------
Points Hmm....


To All of Those who don't know me....


I am the thief in the night...watching in the shadows...waiting...
I am the Godslayer!
I am the Demon Tamer!
I am the World-Conqurer!

And for those of you who don't respect me...
You will...
user posted image
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