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 School 1957 vs 2007, Awsomeness
Samus X
Posted: Feb 2 2008, 06:24 AM


Unregistered









This is from an e-mail my uncle sent to my dad, funny as hell.

Scenario #1: Jack goes quail hunting before school, pulls into school parking lot with shotgun in rack.

1957 - Vice principle comes over, looks at Jack's shotgun, goes to his car, and gets his own shotgun to show Jack.

2007 - School goes into lockdown, the FBI is called, Jack is hauled off to jail and never sees his truck or gun again. Counselors are called in to assist traumatized students and teachers.

Scenario #2: Johnny and Mark get into a fistfight after school.

1957 - Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up buddies.

2007 - Police are called, SWAT team arrives and arrests Johnny and Mark. They are charged with assault and both are expelled even though Johnny started it.

Scenario #3: Jeffrey won't sit still in class, disrupts other students.

1957 - Jeffrey is sent to the principal's office and given a good paddling. He returns to class, sits still, and does not disrupt class again.

2007 - Jeffrey is given huge doses of Ritalin, becomes a zombie, and is tested for ADD. The school gets extra state funding because Jeffrey has a disability.

Scenario #4: Billy breaks a window in his neighbor's car and his dad gives him a whipping with his belt.

1957 - Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college, and becomes a successful businessman.

2007 - Billy's dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy is removed to foster care and joins a gang. State psychologist tells Billy's sister that she remembers being abused herself and their dad goes to prison. Billy's mom has an affair with the psychologist.

Scenario #5: Mark gets a headache and takes some Aspirin to school.

1957 - Mark shares Aspirin with the school principle out on the smoking dock.

2007 - Police are called and Mark is expelled from school for drug violations. His car is searched for drugs and weapons.

Scenario #6: Pedro fails high-school English.

1957 - Pedro goes to summer school, passes English, goes to college.

2007 - Pedro's cause is taken up by local human rights group. Newspaper articles appear nationally explaining that making English a requirement for graduation is racist. US Civil Liberties Association files class action lawsuit against state school system and Pedro's English teacher. English is banned from core curriculum. Pedro is given his diploma anyway but ends up mowing lawns for a living because he cannot speak English.

Scenario #7: Johnny takes apart leftover Independance Day firecrackers, puts them in a model airplane paint bottle and blows up an anthill.

1957 - Ants die.

2007 - Homeland Security and the FBI are called and Johnny is charged with domestic terrorism. Teams investigate parents, siblings are removed from home, computers are confiscated, and Johnny's dad goes on terror watch list and is never allowed to fly again.

Scenario #8: Johnny falls during recess and scrapes his knee. His teacher, Mary, finds him crying and gives him a hug to comfort him.

1957 - Johnny soon feels better and goes back to playing.

2007 - Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces three years in federal prison. Johnny undergoes five years of therapy.



Is'nt progress wonderful?

(Originally posted by Godzilla_Addict on another forum)
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The Ripper
Posted: Feb 2 2008, 04:08 PM


Knight of the Ivory Axe


Group: Members
Posts: 2,926
Member No.: 12
Joined: 11-January 08



I guess fifty years later, we got stupider. rolleyes.gif


--------------------
Points:


QUOTE ("Friedrich Nietzsche")
He who fights with monsters should look to it that he himself does not become a monster... when you gaze long into the abyss the abyss also gazes into you...
Top
Wingman
  Posted: Feb 2 2008, 04:33 PM


I'm better than you. That's all I know.


Group: Admin
Posts: 2,439
Member No.: 14
Joined: 11-January 08



While some of this is necessary in extreme situations (like Columbine instances), most of this is dumb. I mean, a girl got, not suspended, EXPELLED from her school for bring a butter knife to school in her lunch. A BUTTER KNIFE. And my local school got metal detectors after the Thanksgiving Break and started searching students' bags after fake bomb threats and rumors circulated via text messaging and such. Because the students blew the "crisis" up into much more than it actually was, the school just decided to give them Thanksgiving vacation starting the Friday before Thanksgiving week, not the Tuesday OF Thanksgiving week. The students won't have to make up that time at the end of the year, either. Now, you can't even enter my school after 8:00 o' clock in the morning for almost ANY reason, and kids aren't allowed to leave the area until school lets out. And don't get me started about Spanish in schools and "sexual predators". You live here, you learn, friggin', ENGLISH!!


--------------------
"Never in the course of human history has so much been owed by so many to so few."- Winston Churchill, commenting on the heroic struggles of the RAF against the German Luftwaffe.

----
I don't smoke, I don't chew... and I don't date girls who do.

----

War produces classic remarks by military commanders; on February 26, 1991, the US 1st Armored Division, the famous Big Red One, encountered the allegedly elite Iraqi Republican Guard. The divisional commander, Major General Ronald Griffiths, radioed his deputy, who was riding with the armored spearhead. "I understand we are engaging the Medina Division?" he said, referring to one of the crack Iraqi Guard divisions. "Negative, sir," came the reply. "We are destroying the Medina Division."
Great proof that despite their quantity, the Soviet tanks that NATO planners feared above all else could be shredded by the M1 Abrams, Challenger 2, Leopard 2, LeClerc, Ariete, and Merkava with ease. Patton would be proud.

Top
DataSnake
Posted: Feb 2 2008, 06:27 PM


Emperor of Mankind


Group: Members
Posts: 487
Member No.: 9
Joined: 10-January 08



QUOTE (Wingman @ Feb 2 2008, 04:33 PM)
And don't get me started about Spanish in schools and "sexual predators". You live here, you learn, friggin', ENGLISH!!

... blink.gif
I think most sexual predators already know english.


--------------------
Points:

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!
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Wingman
  Posted: Feb 3 2008, 12:42 PM


I'm better than you. That's all I know.


Group: Admin
Posts: 2,439
Member No.: 14
Joined: 11-January 08



QUOTE (DataSnake @ Feb 2 2008, 01:27 PM)
QUOTE (Wingman @ Feb 2 2008, 04:33 PM)
And don't get me started about Spanish in schools and "sexual predators". You live here, you learn, friggin', ENGLISH!!

... blink.gif
I think most sexual predators already know english.

I know. That comment at the end was referring to all those Mexicans who don't know Spanish. I have a joke, if you want to hear it.

A Japanese, a Mexican, and an American were standing at the door of a plane, which was in the air, flying. The Japanese takes a pair of chopsticks, throws them out of the plane, and says, "We have too many of these in my country!". The Mexican takes a pair of maracas, throws them out of the plane, says, "We have too many of these in my country!"

The American grabs the Mexican, throws him out of the plane, says, "We have too many of THESE in my country!"


--------------------
"Never in the course of human history has so much been owed by so many to so few."- Winston Churchill, commenting on the heroic struggles of the RAF against the German Luftwaffe.

----
I don't smoke, I don't chew... and I don't date girls who do.

----

War produces classic remarks by military commanders; on February 26, 1991, the US 1st Armored Division, the famous Big Red One, encountered the allegedly elite Iraqi Republican Guard. The divisional commander, Major General Ronald Griffiths, radioed his deputy, who was riding with the armored spearhead. "I understand we are engaging the Medina Division?" he said, referring to one of the crack Iraqi Guard divisions. "Negative, sir," came the reply. "We are destroying the Medina Division."
Great proof that despite their quantity, the Soviet tanks that NATO planners feared above all else could be shredded by the M1 Abrams, Challenger 2, Leopard 2, LeClerc, Ariete, and Merkava with ease. Patton would be proud.

Top
The Ripper
Posted: Feb 3 2008, 05:02 PM


Knight of the Ivory Axe


Group: Members
Posts: 2,926
Member No.: 12
Joined: 11-January 08



Very funny, Wingman!

Two Mexicans were in a car. Who was driving?

THE COP!


--------------------
Points:


QUOTE ("Friedrich Nietzsche")
He who fights with monsters should look to it that he himself does not become a monster... when you gaze long into the abyss the abyss also gazes into you...
Top
Wingman
  Posted: Feb 3 2008, 05:06 PM


I'm better than you. That's all I know.


Group: Admin
Posts: 2,439
Member No.: 14
Joined: 11-January 08



QUOTE (The Ripper @ Feb 3 2008, 12:02 PM)
Very funny, Wingman!

Two Mexicans were in a car. Who was driving?

THE COP!

That's great, Ripper!! smile.gif


--------------------
"Never in the course of human history has so much been owed by so many to so few."- Winston Churchill, commenting on the heroic struggles of the RAF against the German Luftwaffe.

----
I don't smoke, I don't chew... and I don't date girls who do.

----

War produces classic remarks by military commanders; on February 26, 1991, the US 1st Armored Division, the famous Big Red One, encountered the allegedly elite Iraqi Republican Guard. The divisional commander, Major General Ronald Griffiths, radioed his deputy, who was riding with the armored spearhead. "I understand we are engaging the Medina Division?" he said, referring to one of the crack Iraqi Guard divisions. "Negative, sir," came the reply. "We are destroying the Medina Division."
Great proof that despite their quantity, the Soviet tanks that NATO planners feared above all else could be shredded by the M1 Abrams, Challenger 2, Leopard 2, LeClerc, Ariete, and Merkava with ease. Patton would be proud.

Top
DataSnake
Posted: Feb 3 2008, 08:06 PM


Emperor of Mankind


Group: Members
Posts: 487
Member No.: 9
Joined: 10-January 08



QUOTE (Wingman @ Feb 3 2008, 05:06 PM)
QUOTE (The Ripper @ Feb 3 2008, 12:02 PM)
Very funny, Wingman!

Two Mexicans were in a car.  Who was driving?

THE COP!

That's great, Ripper!! smile.gif

Why doesn't Mexico do better in the Olympics?
All the Mexicans who can run, jump and swim are in the US!


--------------------
Points:

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!
Top
Wingman
  Posted: Feb 3 2008, 08:26 PM


I'm better than you. That's all I know.


Group: Admin
Posts: 2,439
Member No.: 14
Joined: 11-January 08



QUOTE (DataSnake @ Feb 3 2008, 03:06 PM)
QUOTE (Wingman @ Feb 3 2008, 05:06 PM)
QUOTE (The Ripper @ Feb 3 2008, 12:02 PM)
Very funny, Wingman!

Two Mexicans were in a car.  Who was driving?

THE COP!

That's great, Ripper!! smile.gif

Why doesn't Mexico do better in the Olympics?
All the Mexicans who can run, jump and swim are in the US!

Another good one! We need to set up a jokes forum. laugh.gif laugh.gif laugh.gif laugh.gif laugh.gif


--------------------
"Never in the course of human history has so much been owed by so many to so few."- Winston Churchill, commenting on the heroic struggles of the RAF against the German Luftwaffe.

----
I don't smoke, I don't chew... and I don't date girls who do.

----

War produces classic remarks by military commanders; on February 26, 1991, the US 1st Armored Division, the famous Big Red One, encountered the allegedly elite Iraqi Republican Guard. The divisional commander, Major General Ronald Griffiths, radioed his deputy, who was riding with the armored spearhead. "I understand we are engaging the Medina Division?" he said, referring to one of the crack Iraqi Guard divisions. "Negative, sir," came the reply. "We are destroying the Medina Division."
Great proof that despite their quantity, the Soviet tanks that NATO planners feared above all else could be shredded by the M1 Abrams, Challenger 2, Leopard 2, LeClerc, Ariete, and Merkava with ease. Patton would be proud.

Top
The Ripper
Posted: Feb 3 2008, 09:09 PM


Knight of the Ivory Axe


Group: Members
Posts: 2,926
Member No.: 12
Joined: 11-January 08



Great idea!

*gives two thumbs up*


--------------------
Points:


QUOTE ("Friedrich Nietzsche")
He who fights with monsters should look to it that he himself does not become a monster... when you gaze long into the abyss the abyss also gazes into you...
Top
Wingman
  Posted: Feb 5 2008, 03:54 PM


I'm better than you. That's all I know.


Group: Admin
Posts: 2,439
Member No.: 14
Joined: 11-January 08



QUOTE (The Ripper @ Feb 3 2008, 04:09 PM)
Great idea!

*gives two thumbs up*

Thanx!


--------------------
"Never in the course of human history has so much been owed by so many to so few."- Winston Churchill, commenting on the heroic struggles of the RAF against the German Luftwaffe.

----
I don't smoke, I don't chew... and I don't date girls who do.

----

War produces classic remarks by military commanders; on February 26, 1991, the US 1st Armored Division, the famous Big Red One, encountered the allegedly elite Iraqi Republican Guard. The divisional commander, Major General Ronald Griffiths, radioed his deputy, who was riding with the armored spearhead. "I understand we are engaging the Medina Division?" he said, referring to one of the crack Iraqi Guard divisions. "Negative, sir," came the reply. "We are destroying the Medina Division."
Great proof that despite their quantity, the Soviet tanks that NATO planners feared above all else could be shredded by the M1 Abrams, Challenger 2, Leopard 2, LeClerc, Ariete, and Merkava with ease. Patton would be proud.

Top
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