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Pages: (7) « First ... 3 4 [5] 6 7  ( Go to first unread post )

 Grano's grades!, Let's add another to the mix
Ethan
Posted: Jan 29 2009, 09:31 PM


The Gorram Hypocyte™


Group: Members
Posts: 3,659
Member No.: 82
Joined: 8-September 08



Samurai of Chaos

The demon rose out of the shadows, the dark sky streaking with furious lightning, it growled at the unknown swordsman. Blades at the ready, the samurai shifts into his usual stance, ready for combat with his new advesary. The demon stares at the man standing before him, wondering why he draws his sword instead of fleeing for his life. Before the swordsman could make his move, the demon howled, charging with its massive claws at the ready to rend the man limb from limb. unsurprised, the swordsman shifted his balance and weight towards the front of his body and raised his twin blades up to meet the rampaging beast. As they clash into each other, the sky clapping with thunder, they do battle. As the demon swiped at the swordsman, he blocked with one blade, thrusting the other at the creature. The demon not easily tricked, dodges the attempt, it then grips the blade in one deft swift movement. Acting quickly, the blade is torn from its user's hand and thrown aside. The samurai attempts to slash the monster with his last blade, but it too is caught.The captured blade still held by the monster's other hand, the sword master releases it, pushing it forward, sending his enemy toppling onto the ground. The warrior quickly jumps to the deposited katana, rolling as he lands grabbing it, he twists around to face his foe. The demon unfazed by what had just happened to him, was impresed with the mysterious fighter. The unknown man prepared to be attacked by the evil being, holding his foreign sword up in a samurai fashion. The demon attacks with unrelenting fury, giving no quarter to the struggling sword fighter, who is desperately trying to block all strikes. As two-thirds of the relentless blows are blocked, the rest meets their target, reducing the swordsman's armor to shreds. The battle wages on for awhile, neither giving the other an inch in the fight. As the demon struck a blow against the last layer of the armor via fist, the sword master is sent careening. He lands atop of his lost katana, whereas the demon had it before being thrown aback earlier, he grabs it. Feeling a revived sense of hope, he smiles getting up, confident that he would leave the battle as the victor and alive. The entity of darkness pondered why this man would not stay down, much less roll over and die, it roared and charged once more. Fueled by his instincts of survival and his love of battle, the samurai gripped his twin katanas tighter.


Here, I added some more on, how is it so far?
Top
treacherous
Posted: Jan 31 2009, 07:07 AM


Let Hammy have his Bison. I've got Zod.


Group: Admin
Posts: 3,499
Member No.: 37
Joined: 10-June 08



Hey, you and SW need to get on your gradings.


--------------------
Points:

Ursa: You are master of all you survey.
General Zod: [bored] So I was yesterday. And the day before.




QUOTE (SilverSurfer092 @ Apr 9 2009, 03:27 AM)
WTFYES  Treacherous is full of pwnage.
Top
granobulax
Posted: Jan 31 2009, 03:33 PM


He's even got his hand over where I live...


Group: Admin
Posts: 7,880
Member No.: 35
Joined: 31-May 08



QUOTE (treacherous @ Jan 31 2009, 07:07 AM)
Hey, you and SW need to get on your gradings.

Yes, I just now noticed that. Sorry Ethan.

I'll get to reading it later, after I've woken up. (Night shifter's gotta sleep wacko.gif )


--------------------
Points:


I scare little kids.
user posted image

QUOTE (treacherous @ Aug 16 2008, 12:12 PM)
RRRAOAAOAOAORRARRAA!!...  Blue lights and sirens rang through the night!! Yeah, they all wanna kill each other... HERE ME CITY!! THE STREETS BELONG TO THE GANGS NOW!! THIS IS THE NEW ORDER!! PREPARE FOR CHAOS!!

Solomon and I may be gangsta, but treach is the gangsta of the year!
Top
granobulax
Posted: Jan 31 2009, 09:57 PM


He's even got his hand over where I live...


Group: Admin
Posts: 7,880
Member No.: 35
Joined: 31-May 08



QUOTE (Ethan @ Jan 29 2009, 09:31 PM)
Samurai of Chaos

The demon rose out of the shadows, the dark sky streaking with furious lightning, it growled at the unknown swordsman. Blades at the ready, the samurai shifts into his usual stance, ready for combat with his new advesary. The demon stares at the man standing before him, wondering why he draws his sword instead of fleeing for his life. Before the swordsman could make his move, the demon howled, charging with its massive claws at the ready to rend the man limb from limb. unsurprised, the swordsman shifted his balance and weight towards the front of his body and raised his twin blades up to meet the rampaging beast. As they clash into each other, the sky clapping with thunder, they do battle. As the demon swiped at the swordsman, he blocked with one blade, thrusting the other at the creature. The demon not easily tricked, dodges the attempt, it then grips the blade in one deft swift movement. Acting quickly, the blade is torn from its user's hand and thrown aside. The samurai attempts to slash the monster with his last blade, but it too is caught.The captured blade still held by the monster's other hand, the sword master releases it, pushing it forward, sending his enemy toppling onto the ground. The warrior quickly jumps to the deposited katana, rolling as he lands grabbing it, he twists around to face his foe. The demon unfazed by what had just happened to him, was impresed with the mysterious fighter. The unknown man prepared to be attacked by the evil being, holding his foreign sword up in a samurai fashion. The demon attacks with unrelenting fury, giving no quarter to the struggling sword fighter, who is desperately trying to block all strikes. As two-thirds of the relentless blows are blocked, the rest meets their target, reducing the swordsman's armor to shreds. The battle wages on for awhile, neither giving the other an inch in the fight. As the demon struck a blow against the last layer of the armor via fist, the sword master is sent careening. He lands atop of his lost katana, whereas the demon had it before being thrown aback earlier, he grabs it. Feeling a revived sense of hope, he smiles getting up, confident that he would leave the battle as the victor and alive. The entity of darkness pondered why this man would not stay down, much less roll over and die, it roared and charged once more. Fueled by his instincts of survival and his love of battle, the samurai gripped his twin katanas tighter.


Here, I added some more on, how is it so far?

It's improved but there is still some past/present tense conflict. I like where this story is going biggrin.gif


--------------------
Points:


I scare little kids.
user posted image

QUOTE (treacherous @ Aug 16 2008, 12:12 PM)
RRRAOAAOAOAORRARRAA!!...  Blue lights and sirens rang through the night!! Yeah, they all wanna kill each other... HERE ME CITY!! THE STREETS BELONG TO THE GANGS NOW!! THIS IS THE NEW ORDER!! PREPARE FOR CHAOS!!

Solomon and I may be gangsta, but treach is the gangsta of the year!
Top
Solomon
Posted: Feb 4 2009, 09:06 PM


Head Admin


Group: Admin
Posts: 7,680
Member No.: 3
Joined: 9-January 08



You've reviewed the first chapter of Gondra... Have you reviewed chapter two yet?


--------------------

Points:

"The first shot rang out from somewhere and I heard a bullet wiz by my face. With my pump action shotgun ready, I shoot the first fool I see."

Grano's so gangster.
Top
Ethan
Posted: Feb 10 2009, 11:15 PM


The Gorram Hypocyte™


Group: Members
Posts: 3,659
Member No.: 82
Joined: 8-September 08



Samurai of Chaos


PERSONALITY:

They collide, engaging in battle once more, the samurai having upped the ante with his retrieved katana. Finally having a chance to strike a wound upon this infernal beast, the warrior fights hard. He then thrusts one katana into the belly of his opponent, who parries, whilst he stabs the other through the monster's clawed hand. The demon roars, andrenaline boosting its strength, it lifts the blade still in its hand, along with the warrior hanging on to it. Taking the chance, the swordsman twists said stuck blade, inflicting more pain, and stabs the remaining free sword into the monster's right arm. Again, the beast howls in pain as it starts dancing in agony, trying to throw off the pest that stabbed it. Somehow, through pure, sheer force of will, the warrior hanged on as if it was for his life. As the furious behemoth continued raging about, the sword fighter took the oppoturnity to retrieve his sword stuck in the arm. He does so and replaces it in another area of the creature, its chest, thrusting the blade into the ribcage, barely missing vitals organs. The beast renewed with fury, starts shaking violently with such savagery, the warrior and his two blades are flunged from the body of the monster. The demon enraged at of what its foe had done to it, this being attacked with resolve that made it seem timid before. His blows upon the warrior left gashes all over his body, bleeding severely, the swordsman knew he had to finish this quick.

here, I posted the finished personality....I'll list possible powers......later.
Top
granobulax
Posted: Feb 11 2009, 06:26 PM


He's even got his hand over where I live...


Group: Admin
Posts: 7,880
Member No.: 35
Joined: 31-May 08



Sorry guys, Grano's grades will be out of service for a little while. I really only have a few minutes a day to post on here. I shall return bigger and better than ever as soon as this college stuff slows down or is over. wink.gif


--------------------
Points:


I scare little kids.
user posted image

QUOTE (treacherous @ Aug 16 2008, 12:12 PM)
RRRAOAAOAOAORRARRAA!!...  Blue lights and sirens rang through the night!! Yeah, they all wanna kill each other... HERE ME CITY!! THE STREETS BELONG TO THE GANGS NOW!! THIS IS THE NEW ORDER!! PREPARE FOR CHAOS!!

Solomon and I may be gangsta, but treach is the gangsta of the year!
Top
treacherous
Posted: Feb 11 2009, 06:52 PM


Let Hammy have his Bison. I've got Zod.


Group: Admin
Posts: 3,499
Member No.: 37
Joined: 10-June 08



Liar.


--------------------
Points:

Ursa: You are master of all you survey.
General Zod: [bored] So I was yesterday. And the day before.




QUOTE (SilverSurfer092 @ Apr 9 2009, 03:27 AM)
WTFYES  Treacherous is full of pwnage.
Top
Bloody_Freak
Posted: Feb 13 2009, 01:23 AM


Fiction God


Group: Members
Posts: 2,623
Member No.: 33
Joined: 12-March 08



QUOTE (Solomon @ Jan 21 2009, 09:41 PM)
The End of Sin

The twisted tongue of a serpent, set forth the anguish of sin
Engulfed by the fire of hatetred, and repented for deaths twin
Distrust sweeping across the land, changing destinies persecution
Darkness retreating into the abyss, a lights resolution
Slithering forth for impending doom, treachery is here once more

Life's burning flame extinguished, gone in the hearts of thee
Replaced with a lie, from the kingdom of ember
shaped by the words of deceit, truth comes moaning within me
Led to the end of dreams, and to hopes dismember

Sent forth within the isles of evermore
Shaken by the hand of divinity No more

Grapes of Wrath go rotten
For he hath been forgotten

Turned away from the creator
The eye becomes blind not seeing later

A spark of hope flickers amongst the dark
A voice...a song of peace leaving a mark
The vessel of hate, and forgotten dreams
Now floats lifeless amongst the streams

The light of the one reaches out
dispelling the uncertainty of doubt

Peace hath cometh from above
The lies of a serpent replaced by love.

Hey whoa, that was amazing! How did you come up with that?! ohmy.gif

You should make more, or maybe an FPL character in a poem format? huh.gif

I changed some of the spelling errors, there was a few... Also, some things didn't er, rhyme? So I tried to fix those as well. unsure.gif

Sorry if I ruined it. XD


--------------------
Points:
Top
Solomon
Posted: Feb 13 2009, 01:30 AM


Head Admin


Group: Admin
Posts: 7,680
Member No.: 3
Joined: 9-January 08



QUOTE (Bloody_Freak @ Feb 13 2009, 01:23 AM)
QUOTE (Solomon @ Jan 21 2009, 09:41 PM)
The End of Sin

The twisted tongue of a serpent, set forth the anguish of sin
Engulfed by the fire of hatetred, and repented for deaths twin
Distrust sweeping across the land, changing destinies persecution
Darkness retreating into the abyss, a lights resolution
Slithering forth for impending doom, treachery is here once more

Life's burning flame extinguished, gone in the hearts of thee
Replaced with a lie, from the kingdom of ember
shaped by the words of deceit, truth comes moaning within me
Led to the end of dreams, and to hopes dismember

Sent forth within the isles of evermore
Shaken by the hand of divinity No more

Grapes of Wrath go rotten
For he hath been forgotten

Turned away from the creator
The eye becomes blind not seeing later

A spark of hope flickers amongst the dark
A voice...a song of peace leaving a mark
The vessel of hate, and forgotten dreams
Now floats lifeless amongst the streams

The light of the one reaches out
dispelling the uncertainty of doubt

Peace hath cometh from above
The lies of a serpent replaced by love.

Hey whoa, that was amazing! How did you come up with that?! ohmy.gif

You should make more, or maybe an FPL character in a poem format? huh.gif

I changed some of the spelling errors, there was a few... Also, some things didn't er, rhyme? So I tried to fix those as well. unsure.gif

Sorry if I ruined it. XD

Thanks bloody. I should've known that some of my words were mispelled.

Also, I used different rhyming patterns throughout the poem.


--------------------

Points:

"The first shot rang out from somewhere and I heard a bullet wiz by my face. With my pump action shotgun ready, I shoot the first fool I see."

Grano's so gangster.
Top
Bloody_Freak
Posted: Feb 13 2009, 02:52 AM


Fiction God


Group: Members
Posts: 2,623
Member No.: 33
Joined: 12-March 08



QUOTE (Solomon @ Feb 12 2009, 09:30 PM)
QUOTE (Bloody_Freak @ Feb 13 2009, 01:23 AM)
QUOTE (Solomon @ Jan 21 2009, 09:41 PM)
The End of Sin

The twisted tongue of a serpent, set forth the anguish of sin
Engulfed by the fire of hatetred, and repented for deaths twin
Distrust sweeping across the land, changing destinies persecution
Darkness retreating into the abyss, a lights resolution
Slithering forth for impending doom, treachery is here once more

Life's burning flame extinguished, gone in the hearts of thee
Replaced with a lie, from the kingdom of ember
shaped by the words of deceit, truth comes moaning within me
Led to the end of dreams, and to hopes dismember

Sent forth within the isles of evermore
Shaken by the hand of divinity No more

Grapes of Wrath go rotten
For he hath been forgotten

Turned away from the creator
The eye becomes blind not seeing later

A spark of hope flickers amongst the dark
A voice...a song of peace leaving a mark
The vessel of hate, and forgotten dreams
Now floats lifeless amongst the streams

The light of the one reaches out
dispelling the uncertainty of doubt

Peace hath cometh from above
The lies of a serpent replaced by love.

Hey whoa, that was amazing! How did you come up with that?! ohmy.gif

You should make more, or maybe an FPL character in a poem format? huh.gif

I changed some of the spelling errors, there was a few... Also, some things didn't er, rhyme? So I tried to fix those as well. unsure.gif

Sorry if I ruined it. XD

Thanks bloody. I should've known that some of my words were mispelled.

Also, I used different rhyming patterns throughout the poem.

I like the ones that rhyme on the next line. tongue.gif

The other other ones confuse me. unsure.gif


--------------------
Points:
Top
Solomon
Posted: Feb 18 2009, 01:29 AM


Head Admin


Group: Admin
Posts: 7,680
Member No.: 3
Joined: 9-January 08



The Tragedy of Bruce Thompson (Bio, Personality, and First Power):

“Sir I can assure you that our services are well worth your contributions. Yes sir, I believe so sir. No sir, you will receive only the finest from us. Yes sir Thank you sir.”
With that last statement Bruce set the phone down with a gentle click. He let out a long sigh as he rubbed his weathered hands over the wiry gray hairs of his shaved head. His scratched, and beaten hardhat rested on a tower of unfinished paper work, sprinkled with a weeks worth of dust, and grime. The office wasn’t much to look at, the dull unfinished wooden floor creaked with every step, and there was room for anything but, a small rickety desk that could have been made by the careless of builders. Bruce didn’t seem to mind though it was the only way that he could finish his job, without having it take the next twelve years of his life.
A few days ago, Bruce met with a very powerful, and perhaps the most dangerous being in Khazan, Mr. Graves. He had heard stories of Mr. Graves’ ventures; how he slaughtered hundreds for the HCE, or his supposed conquest throughout Khazan. However Bruce didn’t have time to follow the advice of old storytellers, and children’s rhymes , there was a multi-billion dollar profit to be made. It had been a very one-sided meeting as Bruce recalls, where Mr. Graves made all of the choices, while he just assured him that investing in Thompson Construction was a smart move.
Prior to the meeting, Bruce wasn’t expecting much. He simply figured that it would be the same type of project as it was with any wealthy individual: a small summer home in the mountains, or another office building. Unfortunately, the build had caused him countless headaches over the past six months. Mr. Graves had demanded a multi-billion dollar military compound. Why? It didn’t matter. Bruce knew better than to question the motives of someone who was willing to pay such a large sum of money.
It wasn’t the size of the build, nor the required secrecy from the Khazanian government that had caused him so much stressed, but the constant interruptions made by Mr. Graves, and those under his jurisdiction. It seemed like whenever his men would get a job done, Graves was there to implement a change, he was a perfectionist in all it’s forms. Nothing seemed to please him; he could always see a mistake…a flaw in their build. Six months, and they had only completed two weeks worth of work. Bruce had lost over a dozen men in that time, and the company was suffering. He couldn’t really blame them for leaving, seeing as that he hadn’t paid them in a month. How could he? The company had been bankrupt for nearly 3 months. Bruce just promised them triple pay whenever someone would ask. At the moment it seemed to be keeping people happy, but he knew that would come back to get him.


Personality:

Bruce stood up slowly, and let out a long yawn as he stretched his sore arms. He took a look around the office; it had been his home for the past half-year. Bruce hadn’t seen his family, in a long time. That’s what hurt him the most; he missed Haylie, and the girls. He missed the late nights watching movies; he missed the laughter… he missed the hugs…the love. This was for them though. Every time he put on his hard hat, or hammered in a nail he imagined how happy his girls would be when he brought home more money than their little heads could imagine. When he finished, the girls would come running to him with big smiles, and tell him how much he loved him. Then Haylie would hold him in her arms, and everything would be all right. They would watch the girls play as they sipped lemonade from the porch of their mansion. They’d grow old together forever walking hand in hand.



Powers:

Sayash (Environmental Awareness)
Bruce took out a reddish-brown bowl from a drawer, and placed it in front of him. The pot was filled with round golden leaves. Bruce paused for a moment as he slowly traced the door to his office, before reaching into his desk for a second time. “Just a bit, then I’ll get rid of it,” he mumbled as he pulled out a small white stone. Taking the stone he began to grind the leaves until they were a pile a pile of golden flakes. Bruce stopped for a moment, as a grin began to form on his lips. “Sayash.” He had spoken under his breath, barely even a whisper. It was doubtful that any mortal being could have heard the ancient word he had heard years ago on the Amazon River. For a few seconds nothing happened, and then a small streak of smoke rose up above the grinded leaves. Bruce slid closer to the bowl, closed his eyes, and inhaled deeply. It wasn’t long before the entire room was filled with purple-tinted smoke, and his mind began to free itself. The walls began to pulse, as he felt his muscles relax. A feeling of calmness came over him; his head was slowly rocky drifting from side to side. Then his senses began to intensify. He could smell the scent of coffee that had been spilled weeks ago, he could taste the stench of his work boots, he could see the breath of his men as they told him that it was all over.



--------------------

Points:

"The first shot rang out from somewhere and I heard a bullet wiz by my face. With my pump action shotgun ready, I shoot the first fool I see."

Grano's so gangster.
Top
granobulax
Posted: Feb 18 2009, 01:32 AM


He's even got his hand over where I live...


Group: Admin
Posts: 7,880
Member No.: 35
Joined: 31-May 08



Solomon, I was just about to get off here. I'll check it out when I get a few more spare minutes.


--------------------
Points:


I scare little kids.
user posted image

QUOTE (treacherous @ Aug 16 2008, 12:12 PM)
RRRAOAAOAOAORRARRAA!!...  Blue lights and sirens rang through the night!! Yeah, they all wanna kill each other... HERE ME CITY!! THE STREETS BELONG TO THE GANGS NOW!! THIS IS THE NEW ORDER!! PREPARE FOR CHAOS!!

Solomon and I may be gangsta, but treach is the gangsta of the year!
Top
Solomon
Posted: Feb 18 2009, 01:47 AM


Head Admin


Group: Admin
Posts: 7,680
Member No.: 3
Joined: 9-January 08



QUOTE (granobulax @ Feb 18 2009, 01:32 AM)
Solomon, I was just about to get off here. I'll check it out when I get a few more spare minutes.

Alright then. I'll see you in a couple of years then.


--------------------

Points:

"The first shot rang out from somewhere and I heard a bullet wiz by my face. With my pump action shotgun ready, I shoot the first fool I see."

Grano's so gangster.
Top
VG_Addict
Posted: Feb 18 2009, 01:49 AM


Veteran


Group: Members
Posts: 753
Member No.: 38
Joined: 11-June 08



QUOTE
The Warners were walking down the street, singing and dancing merrily as they walked across the street. Suddenly, a rather large truck sped across the black pavement, and slammed into the unsuspecting siblings, who were far too busy enjoying themselves to pay attention.

However, the truck didn't kill them, rather, it hit them with such great force that they were sent flying into the air, hurtling into space, and eventually landing in a large asteroid-like world.

"Ugh, were are we?" Wakko groaned, rubbing his head as the trio looked around them. The three were astounded to see a beautiful utopia, complete with clear skies, elegant fountains, and most importantly, vast amounts of food and hot babes.

"Wakko, I don't think we're in Kansas anymore." Yakko quipped as he looked around some more. Suddenly, a voice said, "Can I help you boys?" The three siblings turned to see a buxom, blonde woman in a Viking warrior's outfit, complete with horned helmet, smiling seductively at Yakko and Wakko, which earned her a sinister glare from Dot.

"HELLLOOOOOOOOOOOO, NURSE!!!!" Yakko and Wakko said in unison as they jumped into the woman's arms. Dot merely sighed, and rolled her eyes. "Men." she said, breaking the 4th wall.

"WHAT DOTH GOETH ON HERE?!?!?!" a voice bellowed, knocking Yakko and Wakko out of the Viking woman's arms. The trio turned to see a blonde-haired, muscular man glaring at them. He was dressed in a Viking warrior outfit, but also wearing an elaborate red cape. This man also held a massive hammer in his right hand.

"WHO ART THOU, AND WHY ART THOU WITH MY FAIR MAIDEN?!!?" The Viking man thundered, veins visibly throbbing in his neck.

"We're the Warner Brothers!" Yakko and Wakko said, again in unison. "And the Warner Sister, Princess Angelina Contessa Louisa Francesca Banana Fana Bo Besca III. But, you can call me Dot. Call me Dottie, and you die." The pink-skirted Warner said. "And who might you be?" Yakko asked.

"I am Thor, the Norse God of Thunder." Thor said proudly. "Aw, that's too bad." Yakko said sadly. "What's too bad?" the Thunder God questioned. "You said you were sore. Have you thought about seeing your chiropractor?" the oldest Warner said. "No, I said I was Thor!" the Viking man said, visibly annoyed. "I heard you, and I said you should probably see your chiropractor." Yakko replied. Thor's face turned a brilliant shade of burgundy. "NO!! I SAID I WAS THOR!!!" he thundered. "We heard you the first time!" the Warners said in unison.

"ENOUGH!!!!!!" Thor bellowed. "Anyway, what brings thou to Asgard?" he asked in a slightly nicer tone. "Sorry, I don't have any Asgards, all I have are knee-pads." Wakko replied, pointing to his knees, which were now inexplicibly covered in knee-pads. Thor sighed with annoyance. "No, Asgard is the home of the gods-" Thor began, before turning around to see Wakko attempting to lift the man's hammer. "HEY!! PUT THAT DOWN!! MJOLNER IS NOT A TOY!" Thor shouted. Wakko then walked over to his siblings, still attempting to carry the massive hammer, only to drop it on the Thunder God's left foot. "YEOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!! ME DAMMIT!!!" Thor screamed, holding his left foot while hopping around on his right foot. When his foot got better, Thor turned to glare at the Warners. "THAT IS IT!! THOU SHALT PAY DEARLY FOR THIS BLATANT DISRESPECT!!!!" Thor thundered at the trio. And with that, the battle began.

-The Warners can use 1/2 of their 5D powers.

-Thor can't use Runeforce or Odinforce.

-The Warners win if they either knock Thor out, or get him to leave.

-Thor wins if he can get the Warners to leave Asgard.

Who wins?

This fight posted by: VG_Addict




Grade, please.


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Points:
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