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Pages: (13) « First ... 10 11 [12] 13  ( Go to first unread post )

 CBUB or FPL ideas, this is criticism corner
Marvel Man
Posted: Feb 2 2009, 12:51 AM


The Marvel Crusader


Group: Members
Posts: 1,784
Member No.: 89
Joined: 28-September 08



QUOTE (treacherous @ Feb 1 2009, 09:01 PM)
QUOTE (Marvel Man @ Feb 1 2009, 05:54 AM)
Treach, I wrote three fights called "The Tournament of DC", in the Normal Fight section.

They're far from what I want to write in my CBUB tournament, "The Tournament of Marvels", but they're just ideas I've been throwing around. It would be an honor if you could help me out. You wrote that other tournament, so you might have some experience with the matter.

In other words. Help.

I'll have to look them over. Been busy. I'll get to it.

*bows*

Thank you....


--------------------
Points


user posted image
OFFICIAL 2x HAVEN WRITING COMPETITION CHAMPION!!
OFFICIAL 2ND PLACE WRITER IN ADMIN CONTEST!!

"Do you know what happens to toads that are struck by lightning?
The same thing that happens to everything else."

-Storm
Top
darkender
Posted: Feb 2 2009, 12:55 AM


Mr. Ego


Group: Members
Posts: 7,693
Member No.: 10
Joined: 10-January 08



QUOTE (Marvel Man @ Feb 2 2009, 12:51 AM)
QUOTE (treacherous @ Feb 1 2009, 09:01 PM)
QUOTE (Marvel Man @ Feb 1 2009, 05:54 AM)
Treach, I wrote three fights called "The Tournament of DC", in the Normal Fight section.

They're far from what I want to write in my CBUB tournament, "The Tournament of Marvels", but they're just ideas I've been throwing around. It would be an honor if you could help me out. You wrote that other tournament, so you might have some experience with the matter.

In other words. Help.

I'll have to look them over. Been busy. I'll get to it.

*bows*

Thank you....

Your warning.

Do not Rp in non Rp sections.


--------------------
Points:A Gazillion almost as much as my swagga
Top
treacherous
Posted: Feb 2 2009, 03:26 AM


Let Hammy have his Bison. I've got Zod.


Group: Admin
Posts: 3,499
Member No.: 37
Joined: 10-June 08



Quit moderating in my section.


--------------------
Points:

Ursa: You are master of all you survey.
General Zod: [bored] So I was yesterday. And the day before.




QUOTE (SilverSurfer092 @ Apr 9 2009, 03:27 AM)
WTFYES  Treacherous is full of pwnage.
Top
jailer411
Posted: Feb 2 2009, 03:31 AM


The one and only.


Group: Members
Posts: 2,320
Member No.: 175
Joined: 17-January 09



The beginning of my story.

He couldn’t believe it, but he had to. His parent’s cold lifeless bodies before his very eyes were too much to deny. "Why me, Why me!!" This was all Ben could muster out of his raspy throat at the time, but it was apparent that it was to no avail. No matter how much he would scream, time would not turn back. It was a simple fact of life, too much for a twelve year old to understand. Even though he couldn’t say much right then, his mind was racing, so much that he cursed it. He didn’t want to think about how his parents were just murdered, right there and then in front of him, how he couldn’t stop it from happening, what could’ve done. No, all the poor boy wanted was to recede into the deep crevices of his mind, and to stay there, away from the cruel torment of reality. It was too much for him to bear any longer.

Suddenly, he was interrupted half way through his thoughts by John. You stupid boy, did you not know that this would happen? How long did you suppose that they could protect you? You have to learn that in this new world, there are only two truths, death and punishment for your crimes! But they didn’t do anything wrong, Ben replied timidly. You’re never going to learn, are you? Your parents where traitors to the revolution! Keeping them alive would only hinder our cause! You mean your cause!, Ben shouted back. John looked at Ben with great hate in his eyes, "I should have gotten them to kill you as well, but alas, you’re lucky that the leader has found a use for you." Ben spit at John’s face at the idea of what he just said. "How could I ever work for the people responsible for the death of my parents!"

John chuckled at the mere thought of what Ben just said, "Who said you’d be working for us? Were going to use your body for testing!" All Ben could do was to stare in horror as John took out the tranquilizer gun. "Wha…What are you going to do to me?" The fear in his voice was apparent. The last words Ben heard before John shot wasn’t the answer to his question, the last thing he heard was, “I’m going to enjoy this”. John’s face was in pure content as he saw Ben’s limp body drop to the floor. Soon after, he blankly stated into his tape recorder “The subject seems to be gaining in bravery, make note to fix this.” A while later, the helicopter came to pick John up. "Have any trouble with the boy?", remarked the pilot. "None at all", I even think that he might finally be the one to survive our experiments. What makes you say that? "I'll explain on the way back."



--------------------
4/24/11 8:48CMT

Signature has been changed, forum remains locked.
Top
darkender
Posted: Feb 2 2009, 09:46 PM


Mr. Ego


Group: Members
Posts: 7,693
Member No.: 10
Joined: 10-January 08



QUOTE (treacherous @ Feb 2 2009, 03:26 AM)
Quit moderating in my section.

Sorry, I can't help it. I hate Rping in non Rp sections.


--------------------
Points:A Gazillion almost as much as my swagga
Top
treacherous
Posted: Feb 2 2009, 10:34 PM


Let Hammy have his Bison. I've got Zod.


Group: Admin
Posts: 3,499
Member No.: 37
Joined: 10-June 08



QUOTE (darkender @ Feb 2 2009, 09:46 PM)
QUOTE (treacherous @ Feb 2 2009, 03:26 AM)
Quit moderating in my section.

Sorry, I can't help it. I hate Rping in non Rp sections.

It's okay. Telling people what to do is addictive.


--------------------
Points:

Ursa: You are master of all you survey.
General Zod: [bored] So I was yesterday. And the day before.




QUOTE (SilverSurfer092 @ Apr 9 2009, 03:27 AM)
WTFYES  Treacherous is full of pwnage.
Top
treacherous
Posted: Feb 3 2009, 02:36 AM


Let Hammy have his Bison. I've got Zod.


Group: Admin
Posts: 3,499
Member No.: 37
Joined: 10-June 08



QUOTE (jailer411 @ Feb 2 2009, 03:31 AM)
The beginning of my story.

He couldn’t believe it, but he had to. His parent’s cold lifeless bodies before his very eyes were too much to deny. "Why me, Why me!!" This was all Ben could muster out of his raspy throat at the time, but it was apparent that it was to no avail. No matter how much he would scream, time would not turn back. It was a simple fact of life, too much for a twelve year old to understand. Even though he couldn’t say much right then, his mind was racing, so much that he cursed it. He didn’t want to think about how his parents were just murdered, right there and then in front of him, how he couldn’t stop it from happening, what could’ve done. No, all the poor boy wanted was to recede into the deep crevices of his mind, and to stay there, away from the cruel torment of reality. It was too much for him to bear any longer.

Suddenly, he was interrupted half way through his thoughts by John. You stupid boy, did you not know that this would happen? How long did you suppose that they could protect you? You have to learn that in this new world, there are only two truths, death and punishment for your crimes! But they didn’t do anything wrong, Ben replied timidly. You’re never going to learn, are you? Your parents where traitors to the revolution! Keeping them alive would only hinder our cause! You mean your cause!, Ben shouted back. John looked at Ben with great hate in his eyes, "I should have gotten them to kill you as well, but alas, you’re lucky that the leader has found a use for you." Ben spit at John’s face at the idea of what he just said. "How could I ever work for the people responsible for the death of my parents!"

John chuckled at the mere thought of what Ben just said, "Who said you’d be working for us? Were going to use your body for testing!" All Ben could do was to stare in horror as John took out the tranquilizer gun. "Wha…What are you going to do to me?" The fear in his voice was apparent. The last words Ben heard before John shot wasn’t the answer to his question, the last thing he heard was, “I’m going to enjoy this”. John’s face was in pure content as he saw Ben’s limp body drop to the floor. Soon after, he blankly stated into his tape recorder “The subject seems to be gaining in bravery, make note to fix this.” A while later, the helicopter came to pick John up. "Have any trouble with the boy?", remarked the pilot. "None at all", I even think that he might finally be the one to survive our experiments. What makes you say that? "I'll explain on the way back."

Hey, that's not bad so far. I'm interested. Continue...


--------------------
Points:

Ursa: You are master of all you survey.
General Zod: [bored] So I was yesterday. And the day before.




QUOTE (SilverSurfer092 @ Apr 9 2009, 03:27 AM)
WTFYES  Treacherous is full of pwnage.
Top
jailer411
Posted: Feb 3 2009, 02:37 AM


The one and only.


Group: Members
Posts: 2,320
Member No.: 175
Joined: 17-January 09



QUOTE (treacherous @ Feb 2 2009, 08:36 PM)
QUOTE (jailer411 @ Feb 2 2009, 03:31 AM)
The beginning of my story.

He couldn’t believe it, but he had to. His parent’s cold lifeless bodies before his very eyes were too much to deny. "Why me, Why me!!" This was all Ben could muster out of his raspy throat at the time, but it was apparent that it was to no avail. No matter how much he would scream, time would not turn back. It was a simple fact of life, too much for a twelve year old to understand. Even though he couldn’t say much right then, his mind was racing, so much that he cursed it. He didn’t want to think about how his parents were just murdered, right there and then in front of him, how he couldn’t stop it from happening, what could’ve done. No, all the poor boy wanted was to recede into the deep crevices of his mind, and to stay there, away from the cruel torment of reality. It was too much for him to bear any longer.

Suddenly, he was interrupted half way through his thoughts by John. You stupid boy, did you not know that this would happen? How long did you suppose that they could protect you? You have to learn that in this new world, there are only two truths, death and punishment for your crimes! But they didn’t do anything wrong, Ben replied timidly. You’re never going to learn, are you? Your parents where traitors to the revolution! Keeping them alive would only hinder our cause! You mean your cause!, Ben shouted back. John looked at Ben with great hate in his eyes, "I should have gotten them to kill you as well, but alas, you’re lucky that the leader has found a use for you." Ben spit at John’s face at the idea of what he just said. "How could I ever work for the people responsible for the death of my parents!"

John chuckled at the mere thought of what Ben just said, "Who said you’d be working for us? Were going to use your body for testing!" All Ben could do was to stare in horror as John took out the tranquilizer gun. "Wha…What are you going to do to me?" The fear in his voice was apparent. The last words Ben heard before John shot wasn’t the answer to his question, the last thing he heard was, “I’m going to enjoy this”. John’s face was in pure content as he saw Ben’s limp body drop to the floor. Soon after, he blankly stated into his tape recorder “The subject seems to be gaining in bravery, make note to fix this.” A while later, the helicopter came to pick John up. "Have any trouble with the boy?", remarked the pilot. "None at all", I even think that he might finally be the one to survive our experiments. What makes you say that? "I'll explain on the way back."

Hey, that's not bad so far. I'm interested. Continue...

Not yet, I'm posting part 2 and 3 at the same time.


--------------------
4/24/11 8:48CMT

Signature has been changed, forum remains locked.
Top
granobulax
Posted: Mar 3 2009, 02:42 AM


He's even got his hand over where I live...


Group: Admin
Posts: 7,880
Member No.: 35
Joined: 31-May 08



Here's my latest FPL character biggrin.gif

Rip it to shreds!

Intellect’s Antichrist

Inventor Kit

Mind: Ultimate
Body: Weak
Strength: Weak
Agility: Weak

Background:

There are areas of the human mind that few have ever ventured. It is an area that skirts insanity, yet exhibits spectacular brilliance. The most notable of people to court with perfection would be Albert Einstein, Steven Hawking, and Chris Langan. However, close these intellectual celebrities may have come, none has ever completed the neurological circuitry necessary to unlock the total human psychological and psychosocial possibilities. That would soon change.

Teodor Lipinski was born in Wielkopolskie, Poland in August of 1987. From the onset of his first breath of air, it was apparent that he was no ordinary child. That day, a first in human history occurred; he was born with the innate ability to speak fluent Polish.

The doctors were completely astonished and logically deduced that the infant must have neurological development on an exponential level to be capable of learning to speak while being a fetus in the womb. It did not take long before this singular child made headlines though out the world. Months of feverish reporters questioned the supposedly innocent baby, torturing the sanctity of his extreme youth. Soon after, Teodor’s parents closed the door to the media and he was soon forgotten as the news hype declined and turned to other pressing matters. Truth be told, the small child rather enjoyed his constant prodding by what he thought of as the most impudent of beings, reporters. The mindless masses sending forth these foul people to see the one that, even as an infant, was already smarter than the vast majority of the world. Less attention did not detract from the baby genius’ passion for learning though. Likewise, as the years passed, so too did his lust for knowledge grow.

At the ripe old age of five, Teodor had already cracked Fermat's Last Theorem, a math problem that hadn’t been figured out for 350 years. His fame had grown again as letters from around the world were sent to his small home in Poland. In order for him to read the torrent of mail practically cascading out of his mailbox, he had to learn a capacious number of languages. In short time, Teodor became fluent in twenty-seven different languages, a repertoire befit for the most strong of intellect, let alone a five year old.

Over the next seventeen years, Teodor became the most renowned inventor the world had ever seen. He started out by making the most intricate of devices using nothing but common household materials. Some of the things on the list of his eventual inventions have only been in science fiction movies. The advanced molecular teleporter, cold fusion technology, and the antimatter weaponry were some of his most famous inventions. Before long, Teodor became a multibillionaire from the revenue of his creations. The more fame and money he gained, the more lustful his thirst for knowledge became.

As his intellect advanced further into the unknown of the human psyche, the point of optimum performance was close to being reached. He could feel a change happening, something, indescribable…

Personality:

Suddenly and without warning, it happened. Light… the brightest light conceivable filled the room. Within a fraction of a picosecond, the room was enveloped in audacious electricity. Electrolysis in its purest form was stripping the flesh away from Teodor’s body with its appalling energy. Within seconds, the entire country of Poland was in the dark. In minutes, all of Europe and western Asia went black. Shortly after that, all of the electricity on the planet surged into his new being at the speed of light.

The heat from the convergence of such energy atomized Teodor’s body, as well as the surrounding few miles of city. Charred remains of houses and families stretched into the distance as far as the eye could see under the moonlight, leaving the foul odor of burnt flesh and wood lingering heavily in the night air. Molted rubble was all that remained of Teodor’s house now. Nothing was left… except for an phosphorescent orb of light.

Weightless and free from physical harm, Teodor Lipinski had transformed himself into perfect energy. No longer did his mind have use for something as meek as the flesh. No longer did he give himself a name either. He didn’t need one. So far beneath him was the arrogant ways of human psychosocial behaviors. The people of this earth were like viruses to him now. Infecting all of which they touch with their lies and deceit. A cleansing of mankind is exactly what would be needed. The brilliant electric sphere now descended upon mankind with the determination to destroy all of those he deemed not worthy to live in his presence.

Current Tension (Electricity) Ultimate with Double Damage

Like an angel of God, the masses saw him swoop down upon them with their hopes and aspirations fulfilled with glee. Like the Devil himself, he dispatched every shred of dignity that any man that stood before him had before passing judgement. With terrible speed, he rushed the populous before word of his wrath could be spread.

If a man were deemed unworthy in the eye of his light, the insufferable human would die. The abhorrent energy he wielded was hotter than that of the sun. Anyone fortunate enough to not be disintegrated by his ferocious bolts would end up being incinerated instead by the scorching blaze surrounding the lightning. He would bring the light that only he saw to the eyes of the worthy, if there were any worthy humans that is…

Perfect Light (Phasing) Ultimate

It didn’t take long for people to find ways of communicating however, and after the gradual destruction of human kind began, governments from around the world began to make a stand. Jets using heat-seeking missiles bombarded the energy orb, unloading everything they had on him but to no avail. Attempt after attempt was made to extinguish the flame of doom that was being spread like wildfire to the people of the earth but nothing worked.

The abomination that Teodor had turned into became weary of the meaningless conflict of these ants before him. He had now deemed all of humanity unworthy to continue existing. With a mighty blast of electric hate, he destroyed all resistance around him, leaving dust where people once stood.

Replenish (Energy Absorption) Superior

Running low on energy, the god-like orb needed to replenish his power for it was being drained by the constant swatting of these gnats. For the first time in recent weeks, the world governments had him on the run. The only place that could generate the type of power he sought seeked was in a thunderstorm. As long has he didn’t ground out during consumption of his food source, he would be fine.

Attempts by the people of the earth had already been made to “Short circuit” him in recent days. All failed for the exception of one inadvertent one. A sprinkler head watering a charred lawn had touched him, sending sparks of electrical run off down into the ground. Lucky for him, none of these idiot people had noticed or he might have had an actual fight on his hands.

At last, a rainstorm was within sight. The energy created by one of these storms would be more than enough to send the rest of humanity straight strait to hell.

The atmosphere became very turbulent the closer he came within proximity to the storm. Swirls of lightning charged the atmosphere with dreadful tension. Darker and more sinister the sky grew, showing the might of nature itself. The orb thought that (double use of this? Was that on purpose?) this, this is something worthy of my presence. The power would soon be his.

Just like what happened during his transformation, a sudden supercharge of white hot electricity exploded from the heavens. The singular orb felt in awe of such power that nature held. He felt a growing determination to grow more powerful, to become something more than he already was. What felt like a lifetime of contemplation during his absorption of electrical energy, lasted only seconds.

Grasping and clawing for ever impressive power, the lustful sphere had to expand his horizons to further planes of existence. He could feel a change happening, something, indescribable…


--------------------
Points:


I scare little kids.
user posted image

QUOTE (treacherous @ Aug 16 2008, 12:12 PM)
RRRAOAAOAOAORRARRAA!!...  Blue lights and sirens rang through the night!! Yeah, they all wanna kill each other... HERE ME CITY!! THE STREETS BELONG TO THE GANGS NOW!! THIS IS THE NEW ORDER!! PREPARE FOR CHAOS!!

Solomon and I may be gangsta, but treach is the gangsta of the year!
Top
treacherous
Posted: Mar 3 2009, 02:46 AM


Let Hammy have his Bison. I've got Zod.


Group: Admin
Posts: 3,499
Member No.: 37
Joined: 10-June 08



What tha!? Where did this topic come from? You dredged this up for me to grade again. Darnit. Okay. Give me a second.


--------------------
Points:

Ursa: You are master of all you survey.
General Zod: [bored] So I was yesterday. And the day before.




QUOTE (SilverSurfer092 @ Apr 9 2009, 03:27 AM)
WTFYES  Treacherous is full of pwnage.
Top
granobulax
Posted: Mar 3 2009, 02:47 AM


He's even got his hand over where I live...


Group: Admin
Posts: 7,880
Member No.: 35
Joined: 31-May 08



QUOTE (treacherous @ Mar 3 2009, 02:46 AM)
What tha!? Where did this topic come from? You dredged this up for me to grade again. Darnit. Okay. Give me a second.

biggrin.gif


--------------------
Points:


I scare little kids.
user posted image

QUOTE (treacherous @ Aug 16 2008, 12:12 PM)
RRRAOAAOAOAORRARRAA!!...  Blue lights and sirens rang through the night!! Yeah, they all wanna kill each other... HERE ME CITY!! THE STREETS BELONG TO THE GANGS NOW!! THIS IS THE NEW ORDER!! PREPARE FOR CHAOS!!

Solomon and I may be gangsta, but treach is the gangsta of the year!
Top
treacherous
Posted: Mar 3 2009, 03:05 AM


Let Hammy have his Bison. I've got Zod.


Group: Admin
Posts: 3,499
Member No.: 37
Joined: 10-June 08



Okay, first that was the most well written (grammatically speaking) story I think you've done. I like your knowledge of your subject. Your schooling is paying off. I remember this character earlier and you didn't know what to do with him. You've got sort of an Ozymandias thing going with him. I like that. I suggest if you are going to use the Ultimate powers, you really go farther into detail with them. FPL rule: If you use Ultimate, you better have a good reason.

Also, I think the story needs a little more story. It all happened so quickly. It was such an abrupt transformation and transistion. Maybe if we saw a little more of the later personality in the earlier Teodor Lipinski. I've got a Polish character I'm about to unleash on the undercards soon. So, I'm liking it.

Oh and I edited your post, but I think you saw that.


--------------------
Points:

Ursa: You are master of all you survey.
General Zod: [bored] So I was yesterday. And the day before.




QUOTE (SilverSurfer092 @ Apr 9 2009, 03:27 AM)
WTFYES  Treacherous is full of pwnage.
Top
granobulax
Posted: Mar 3 2009, 03:11 AM


He's even got his hand over where I live...


Group: Admin
Posts: 7,880
Member No.: 35
Joined: 31-May 08



QUOTE (treacherous @ Mar 3 2009, 03:05 AM)
Okay, first that was the most well written (grammatically speaking) story I think you've done.  I like your knowledge of your subject.  Your schooling is paying off.  I remember this character earlier and you didn't know what to do with him.  You've got sort of an Ozymandias thing going with him.  I like that.  I suggest if you are going to use the Ultimate powers, you really go farther into detail with them.  FPL rule:  If you use Ultimate, you better have a good reason.

Also, I think the story needs a little more story.  It all happened so quickly.  It was such an abrupt transformation and transistion.  Maybe if we saw a little more of the later personality in the earlier Teodor Lipinski.  I've got a Polish character I'm about to unleash on the undercards soon.  So, I'm liking it.

Oh and I edited your post, but I think you saw that.

Thanks treach, I'll work on that before I post it.


--------------------
Points:


I scare little kids.
user posted image

QUOTE (treacherous @ Aug 16 2008, 12:12 PM)
RRRAOAAOAOAORRARRAA!!...  Blue lights and sirens rang through the night!! Yeah, they all wanna kill each other... HERE ME CITY!! THE STREETS BELONG TO THE GANGS NOW!! THIS IS THE NEW ORDER!! PREPARE FOR CHAOS!!

Solomon and I may be gangsta, but treach is the gangsta of the year!
Top
nicker
Posted: Mar 3 2009, 04:09 AM


Expert


Group: Members
Posts: 1,052
Member No.: 223
Joined: 4-February 09



Hiya folks! Its me Kb again and here were are again with my second match. Now just sit back and enjoy Nemesis vs Robocop!

"July,21 1999 and the infection is getting worse and I think Brad is ahhh!!" That was the last noise Jill Valentine made before her former friend and college Brad Vickers ate her alive along with other zombies. All the while Nemesis was seeing the ensuring scene and realized that now Jill was dead he had no purpose.
Then as if on cue Nemesis felt something go into him. He turned around to see 20 Umbrella agents with the paralyzing guns that put the dead into a frozen state. Nemesis glared with his one good eye at the agents and fell to the floor with a loud thud.

Two years later…. Nemesis awoke and tried to arise from his fallen state but looked to see that he had metal restraints all over his body holding him down. Nemesis then saw two Umbrella agents walking in with Wesker Albert. Wesker then spoke “ Hmm. Seeing as how the S.T.A.R.S are now gone we have no use for Project Nemesis. But he could help rid us of that annoying Robocop which is stopping us from selling the T Virus.” Nemesis only managed to catch rid, Robocop, and stopping.

“Robocop…” Nemesis moaned to himself as he bided his time and went without a fight as the agents walked him to get armed. Another 2 hours later Nemesis was sent with two Crimson Heads (They are advanced zombies who can run.) to stop Robocop. Robocop:” Halt Umbrella shall not pass this section of town.” Nemesis and the Crimson Heads growled at Robocop and charged but were held back by 4 cops who each had a pistol.

Nemesis knew there was going to be blood but he knew it was going to be the human’s. Okay it is Nemesis with his sub machine gun and his tentacle and two Crimson Heads vs. Robocop with a pistol and 4 rookie cops with pistols. If Nemesis wins Umbrella gets to sell the T virus to the people in New York or whatever town Robocop takes place in. If Robocop and the cops win Umbrella is driven back.

So enjoy folks and keep on rating!


--------------------
Points
Top
darkender
Posted: Mar 3 2009, 04:42 AM


Mr. Ego


Group: Members
Posts: 7,693
Member No.: 10
Joined: 10-January 08



QUOTE (nicker @ Mar 2 2009, 11:09 PM)
Hiya folks! Its me Kb again and here were are again with my second match. Now just sit back and enjoy Nemesis vs Robocop!

"July,21 1999 and the infection is getting worse and I think Brad is ahhh!!" That was the last noise Jill Valentine made before her former friend and college Brad Vickers ate her alive along with other zombies. All the while Nemesis was seeing the ensuring scene and realized that now Jill was dead he had no purpose.
Then as if on cue Nemesis felt something go into him. He turned around to see 20 Umbrella agents with the paralyzing guns that put the dead into a frozen state. Nemesis glared with his one good eye at the agents and fell to the floor with a loud thud.

Two years later…. Nemesis awoke and tried to arise from his fallen state but looked to see that he had metal restraints all over his body holding him down. Nemesis then saw two Umbrella agents walking in with Wesker Albert. Wesker then spoke “ Hmm. Seeing as how the S.T.A.R.S are now gone we have no use for Project Nemesis. But he could help rid us of that annoying Robocop which is stopping us from selling the T Virus.” Nemesis only managed to catch rid, Robocop, and stopping.

“Robocop…” Nemesis moaned to himself as he bided his time and went without a fight as the agents walked him to get armed. Another 2 hours later Nemesis was sent with two Crimson Heads (They are advanced zombies who can run.) to stop Robocop. Robocop:” Halt Umbrella shall not pass this section of town.” Nemesis and the Crimson Heads growled at Robocop and charged but were held back by 4 cops who each had a pistol.

Nemesis knew there was going to be blood but he knew it was going to be the human’s. Okay it is Nemesis with his sub machine gun and his tentacle and two Crimson Heads vs. Robocop with a pistol and 4 rookie cops with pistols. If Nemesis wins Umbrella gets to sell the T virus to the people in New York or whatever town Robocop takes place in. If Robocop and the cops win Umbrella is driven back.

So enjoy folks and keep on rating!

Make your own account KB then we'll grade your stuff.


--------------------
Points:A Gazillion almost as much as my swagga
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