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Pages: (106) « First ... 2 3 [4] 5 6 ... Last » ( Go to first unread post )

 FPL CHARACTERS
super_wolverine_Man
Posted: Oct 23 2008, 06:51 PM


Head Admin


Group: Admin
Posts: 7,680
Member No.: 3
Joined: 9-January 08



QUOTE (treacherous @ Oct 21 2008, 03:11 AM)
Hey, who's bored. Check out Chef Rocko!! http://www.electricferret.com/fpl/underfights/1018-17304.htm

SWman. I just can't understand the FPL. I tied a character on there with my Toyman character and then fight another character that was beaten by the character I tied. I should win against the character that was beaten by the character I tied. Right? No. I'm losing to the character that got beat by the character I tied. Does any of that make sense? It doesn't make sense to me either. Oh well. You live and you learn.

Not neccesarily. Your saying because this happened, THIS has to happen. Which, doesn't neccesarily imply here. I understand how you feel though.


--------------------

Points:

"The first shot rang out from somewhere and I heard a bullet wiz by my face. With my pump action shotgun ready, I shoot the first fool I see."

Grano's so gangster.
Top
treacherous
Posted: Oct 24 2008, 12:10 AM


Let Hammy have his Bison. I've got Zod.


Group: Admin
Posts: 3,499
Member No.: 37
Joined: 10-June 08



QUOTE (super_wolverine_Man @ Oct 23 2008, 06:49 PM)
QUOTE (treacherous @ Oct 23 2008, 11:56 AM)
I am going to still create them, but only for my own enjoyment and need to free my creative side.

Exactly, the advice I gave you a few weeks ago. wink.gif

I don't listen. I have to figure things out on my own.


--------------------
Points:

Ursa: You are master of all you survey.
General Zod: [bored] So I was yesterday. And the day before.




QUOTE (SilverSurfer092 @ Apr 9 2009, 03:27 AM)
WTFYES† Treacherous is full of pwnage.
Top
granobulax
Posted: Oct 24 2008, 02:42 PM


He's even got his hand over where I live...


Group: Admin
Posts: 7,880
Member No.: 35
Joined: 31-May 08



QUOTE (treacherous @ Oct 24 2008, 12:10 AM)
QUOTE (super_wolverine_Man @ Oct 23 2008, 06:49 PM)
QUOTE (treacherous @ Oct 23 2008, 11:56 AM)
I am going to still create them, but only for my own enjoyment and need to free my creative side.

Exactly, the advice I gave you a few weeks ago. wink.gif

I don't listen. I have to figure things out on my own.

That's because you're stubborn! rolleyes.gif laugh.gif tongue.gif


--------------------
Points:


I scare little kids.
user posted image

QUOTE (treacherous @ Aug 16 2008, 12:12 PM)
RRRAOAAOAOAORRARRAA!!...  Blue lights and sirens rang through the night!! Yeah, they all wanna kill each other... HERE ME CITY!! THE STREETS BELONG TO THE GANGS NOW!! THIS IS THE NEW ORDER!! PREPARE FOR CHAOS!!

Solomon and I may be gangsta, but treach is the gangsta of the year!
Top
treacherous
Posted: Oct 24 2008, 10:14 PM


Let Hammy have his Bison. I've got Zod.


Group: Admin
Posts: 3,499
Member No.: 37
Joined: 10-June 08



QUOTE (granobulax @ Oct 24 2008, 02:42 PM)
QUOTE (treacherous @ Oct 24 2008, 12:10 AM)
QUOTE (super_wolverine_Man @ Oct 23 2008, 06:49 PM)
QUOTE (treacherous @ Oct 23 2008, 11:56 AM)
I am going to still create them, but only for my own enjoyment and need to free my creative side.

Exactly, the advice I gave you a few weeks ago. wink.gif

I don't listen. I have to figure things out on my own.

That's because you're stubborn! rolleyes.gif laugh.gif tongue.gif

I'd like to call it a high level of will power. I could own a lantern ring.


--------------------
Points:

Ursa: You are master of all you survey.
General Zod: [bored] So I was yesterday. And the day before.




QUOTE (SilverSurfer092 @ Apr 9 2009, 03:27 AM)
WTFYES† Treacherous is full of pwnage.
Top
super_wolverine_Man
Posted: Oct 25 2008, 06:03 PM


Head Admin


Group: Admin
Posts: 7,680
Member No.: 3
Joined: 9-January 08



REVISED VERSION:

[Translated from Japanese]

April 23rd, 1126


Itís a dark time for the Mashasaki clan. Never in history have we been so surrounded by so much adversity, and corruption. It seems that it has been this way ever since my father was exiled. I think about it almost everyday. He had killed a member of the Shukai clan, during a time of peace. My people were quick to dispel him from the land. If that wasnít unfortunate enough, by right of inheritance I was made leader of the Mashasaki Clan. They donít trust me. I can see it in their eyesÖ I feel alone. Great shadows swarm about my being. I feel trapped. Though my prison has no bars, chains, and it doesnít have a key. Thereís no escape for me. I feel as if a great burden has been laid upon my life, all due to the actions of my father. Thereís nowhere to run. Yet there is one that keeps me going. One that allows me to continue on my journey day after day after day. Sheís the most beautiful gift I could have hoped for. Her touch seems to bring a certain peace within me. As her lips press against mine, my worriesÖmy constant struggle seem very miniscule compared to our undying bond.

April 25th, 1126

There seems to be growing tensions among the clan. I once again have the feeling that they consider me a traitor. These people, who I should be able to trust with my life, are now a constant burden in my everyday life. All honors that have been brought down from generation to generation have diminished. I know not what to do. However, I canít allow these shadows to overcome my happiness. I have to keep going for the sake of Hanako. Destiny not only has left with unending struggle within, it has also given me great giftsÖA beautiful wife, and soon I will be a father. The joy that comes with knowing this also gives me a sense of dread. For I am bringing my only son into a world of chaos.

April 31st, 1126

My time is now completely occupied with caring for Hanako as she readies to give birth to our child. Even as her stomach begins to grow to accommodate our child, she still personifies the word beauty. Not only in the physical sense, her shape makes even the most honorable men fill with lust; she is also graceful in the field of battle. Her quick circular movements, as her nimble bodies flows about like a river is something that artist should aspire to recreate. She brings a feeling of harmony within my life. Yet, it seems whenever I find a sense of peace, and tranquility there seems to be more trouble waiting at my doorstep. Too many times have there been attempts on my life. Today was no different; once again someone attempted to cut my life short, and yet again had failed. He attacked me during my time of morning meditation. I have to say that his blade was quick, but he made about as much noise as an elephant. I had little problem decapitating him, with a simple wave of the sword. Without turning I knew that my adversary had fallen. After doing this for so long, and so often it no longer fazes me in any way. Being the leader of clan that is hated by so many of the region, I am used to such things. However, the feeling was different this time. It felt like I was killing a member of my own family rather than an enemy. Perhaps it is because I felt like they were trying to take me away from my one escape from trouble. I felt as if they were taking me away from my only shield from adversity. Sadly, the more I think about it the more I wish he had ended my suffering. Then I look at her face, and imagine the happiness that will be brought to us when our child is brought into the world.

May 3rd, 1126

Chaos. Thatís all I can say about these events. I was right. A conspiracy created amongst my own clan has caused it to split. My own people have gone from not trusting me to despising me. Itís gotten progressively worse over time, and today it erupted in a furious battle. As I have mentioned before my clan, my very own people are divided. There is no doubt in my mind that I am the sole cause of all of this. You see a group of the clan has created an alliance with our rivals, the Shukai clan. We have been at constant war with the Shukaiís, ever since my great-great-great grand father broke away from the Shukais to create the Mashasaki clan. Now it seems that the events have come full circle.
The morning began with a scream, of terror and it was over when that scream was suddenly silenced. Pandemonium had already engulfed my people when I awoke. Children yelled out for their mothers, as the watched their homes burn, and their fathers murdered by those that had been friends only a few hours ago. My mind was racing, trying to figure what I could do. SomethingÖanything. I quickly unsheathed my sword, and sliced a nearby attackerís arms off. Over in the distance I could see that my people were struggling to mount a resistance. For some strange reason the symbol of the Mashasaki engraved into their arm, seemed to be calling me. Itís difficult to describe unless youíve ever witnessed such an occurrence. It seemed to be sending me a message, or some type of signal to alert me ofÖwhat? I frantically searched my mind for the answer. I couldnít ignore my surroundings for much longer; doing so would cause me to loose my life. Then it seems some outside force, directed my gaze downwards. There on my victimís sleeve was the symbol of the Mashasaki. It was clear to me now. My own people had caused all of this. How was I to know who my enemy was, and who was my ally. How could I spare any of them, when they could very well stab me in the back when I turned? Yet was I really to take innocent lives, just to benefit myself? I had no choice. As I write this I feel a sense of remorse over what Iíve done. I silently sheathed my sword, and walked away. The only thing that matters to me is Hanako. The Mashasaki clan has brought me nothing but strife within my life. However, it is becoming increasingly obvious that, even if I severed all ties with the Mashasaki Clan, I would still be the focal point of this chaos.



May 7th 1126

My internal battle continues. The Mashasaki clan has been all but destroyed. Do I feel resentment for neglecting my own people? Of course I do. Do I feel as if I have become the very thing that I have grown to despise? Perhaps, but Iíll let history decide my fate. Still, There is Hanako. I would not live peacefully if I did not do everything in my power to ensure that she has a peaceful life. How could I doom my child to a life of misery, and bloodshed? That is why I am heading north. The Botataka clan seems to be my vessel to a peaceful existence with my betrothed. The trip will be long, and brutal. People who would see the end of my life wait around every corner. I must be cautious. I cannot allow my mind to drift off, without hopes of having it return. As I ready myself, I canít keep from thinking about Hanako. Please let her be safe. It seemed like it years ago that I took her to the safe house deep in the woods, but I know deep down that it was not that long. I keep trying to convince myself that she would be safe, secluded from all harm. Yet, something keeps getting under my skin. Can I honestly believe that no conflict will come to her in this raging war that has swept across the land. However, I realize that I must stay motivated. Hanako is all that I am living for. If I were to destroy my bond with her, through fear of losing her I would become less like a man, and more like a beast. I wonít allow that to happen. Everything will be at peace, once my child is born, and that is why I begin my journey north, to the Botataka.

May 14th 1126

Iíve been traveling on foot for a week now. My body aches with every movement that I make. Iíve neglected my journal this whole time. Surely, scholars of later ages will scorn me for being so lethargicÖ I donít know how much longer I can go on. I have to find a safe place to rest. Has my struggle no end!


PERSONALITY


May 16th 1126
Curse my ancestors. They have damned me to a life of no meaning. Foolish imbeciles! I donít even know why I bother; the Mashasaki clan means nothing to me!
As I look towards the sun, I realize that the only way to end my suffering is to do it myself.

May 17th 1126

I should be dead right now. I was so certain that I wanted to end my constant burden. I was so certain that I wanted to end my lifeÖ my pain! Oh, I wish I could have plunged my sword straight into my heart. How I wish that my breath would be cut short, and I could rest peacefullyÖ Hanako, she is my life. my very being. She is the essence of my very soul. I dare not leave her in the land of the living as I succumb to the rivers of death! She has what has kept me going for all this time, yet I now realize that she has also been the reason that I choose to endure such hardships. All my life Iíve living for the sole reason that one day I could have a child. A child would allow me to live on forever through endless generations. Hanako is my path to achieving this. She is the key to the door of my dreams. Iím so close. Someone please help meÖ Iím so close.


Powers

Violent Expression- (Martial Arts)

May 23rd 1126

I cannot accurately portray my emotions as I laid my eyes on the Botataka clan hideout. It was like a wave finally returning back to shore. There is a sense of relief, maybe even a flicker of hope inside of me. Iím slowly starting to gain my sense of confidence and pride back. Yet, deep down I know that the worse is yet to come. I realize that in a land of chaos, that death can come for me at anytime. When my mind seems to optimistic, my conscience brings it back to a more reasonable level, as I realize that the next moment could be my last. However, I cannot dwell completely on such a pessimistic attitude, for I may never see my love again.
After all those days of travel, it hasnít really occurred to me how much of my training Iíve neglected. Iíve always counted on the movements of my body to accurately express myself. Iíve noticed this even more profoundly, in these past few days. My strikes are much more aggressive than what they usually are. Iím able to perfectly duplicate my feelings and emotions through my body. Iím very passionate about the way I fight. I have what some may call emotional content to itís extreme. Now that I am with the Botataka clan, this talent is slowly beginning to return to me.

Your own way (Martial Supremacy)

May 26th 1126

I feel even more at home now. I must admit that I was worried how I would be received by, the Botataka clan in times such as these, but I have been received rather graciously by them. I gladly extend my gratitude to them. Sadly, we cannot allow ourselves such pleasures as massive war approaches. Iíve spent last days, doing nothing, but preparing myself for battle.
Iíve Studied Martial Arts my entire life, and Iíve come to the realization that one needs all that is within him to survive, a confrontation. Another thing that I have come to notice is that following any style is denying yourself of your own creativity. It is like an artist painting the picture of another artist. That is why my style is, no style. I go with my own creativity, and my own mindset. My enemies will soon realize this is why I am truly so deadly.





Structure of my soul
May 27th 1126

There is talk of an upcoming battle amongst the Botatakans. More than not, I feel my fingers reach senselessly for my sword. My weapon has been my constant companion in times of struggle. How can such crude metal posses such beauty and grace as that of my own blade. We are one. When in battle, I feel as if my blade is like a shapingÖa weapon of my very soul. My movements are done not by arm, or any muscle for that matter, but by something deep within my being. Iíve often wondered about the source of this connection. I wonder how a man, and a flat piece of metal can be in such perfect union. I guess such things are not important; all that matters is that my blade will allow me one step closer to being with Hanako once again.


For my Love (Iron Will)

May 30th 1126

The battle nears. I can see it in their eyes. The clouds of war are finally upon us. As I sit here, in solitude in this darkened cave I have to wonder if this will be my last drink. Nothing like a bit of wine to calm the spirit. With every breath I take my heart yearns for Hanako; she is my everlasting energy. Could battle be so cruel as to take me away from her? My only source of light is fading quickly. Is this an omen? Will the claws of fate rip from that of my love? No! I will deny heaven itself if I must do so. Hanako, if your out there Iíll be with you one day. One day we will live peacefully with each other. We will watch our son play happily on our farm. (Sigh) Yes, Hanako when the dust of these bloody battlefields finally part, I will be yours forever.


Meanwhile in the great forest west of the Mashasaki training grounds.

Hanako sits quietly amongst the giant trees of the forest. The twinkling light of the moon brightens her sweet face, as she cradles a child in her arms. She smiles sweetly at the little bundle of joy, as the sweet baby coos with joy. Then like a flame that has been extinguished. Itís all gone. Hanako looks down to see a blade protruding from her chest. A red veil creeps over her eyes, and her breath is cut short. The bond has been broken.






--------------------

Points:

"The first shot rang out from somewhere and I heard a bullet wiz by my face. With my pump action shotgun ready, I shoot the first fool I see."

Grano's so gangster.
Top
darkender
Posted: Oct 25 2008, 06:06 PM


Mr. Ego


Group: Members
Posts: 7,693
Member No.: 10
Joined: 10-January 08



QUOTE (super_wolverine_Man @ Oct 25 2008, 06:03 PM)
REVISED VERSION:

[Translated from Japanese]

April 23rd, 1126


Itís a dark time for the Mashasaki clan. Never in history have we been so surrounded by so much adversity, and corruption. It seems that it has been this way ever since my father was exiled. I think about it almost everyday. He had killed a member of the Shukai clan, during a time of peace. My people were quick to dispel him from the land. If that wasnít unfortunate enough, by right of inheritance I was made leader of the Mashasaki Clan. They donít trust me. I can see it in their eyesÖ I feel alone. Great shadows swarm about my being. I feel trapped. Though my prison has no bars, chains, and it doesnít have a key. Thereís no escape for me. I feel as if a great burden has been laid upon my life, all due to the actions of my father. Thereís nowhere to run. Yet there is one that keeps me going. One that allows me to continue on my journey day after day after day. Sheís the most beautiful gift I could have hoped for. Her touch seems to bring a certain peace within me. As her lips press against mine, my worriesÖmy constant struggle seem very miniscule compared to our undying bond.

April 25th, 1126

There seems to be growing tensions among the clan. I once again have the feeling that they consider me a traitor. These people, who I should be able to trust with my life, are now a constant burden in my everyday life. All honors that have been brought down from generation to generation have diminished. I know not what to do. However, I canít allow these shadows to overcome my happiness. I have to keep going for the sake of Hanako. Destiny not only has left with unending struggle within, it has also given me great giftsÖA beautiful wife, and soon I will be a father. The joy that comes with knowing this also gives me a sense of dread. For I am bringing my only son into a world of chaos.

April 31st, 1126

My time is now completely occupied with caring for Hanako as she readies to give birth to our child. Even as her stomach begins to grow to accommodate our child, she still personifies the word beauty. Not only in the physical sense, her shape makes even the most honorable men fill with lust; she is also graceful in the field of battle. Her quick circular movements, as her nimble bodies flows about like a river is something that artist should aspire to recreate. She brings a feeling of harmony within my life. Yet, it seems whenever I find a sense of peace, and tranquility there seems to be more trouble waiting at my doorstep. Too many times have there been attempts on my life. Today was no different; once again someone attempted to cut my life short, and yet again had failed. He attacked me during my time of morning meditation. I have to say that his blade was quick, but he made about as much noise as an elephant. I had little problem decapitating him, with a simple wave of the sword. Without turning I knew that my adversary had fallen. After doing this for so long, and so often it no longer fazes me in any way. Being the leader of clan that is hated by so many of the region, I am used to such things. However, the feeling was different this time. It felt like I was killing a member of my own family rather than an enemy. Perhaps it is because I felt like they were trying to take me away from my one escape from trouble. I felt as if they were taking me away from my only shield from adversity. Sadly, the more I think about it the more I wish he had ended my suffering. Then I look at her face, and imagine the happiness that will be brought to us when our child is brought into the world.

May 3rd, 1126

Chaos. Thatís all I can say about these events. I was right. A conspiracy created amongst my own clan has caused it to split. My own people have gone from not trusting me to despising me. Itís gotten progressively worse over time, and today it erupted in a furious battle. As I have mentioned before my clan, my very own people are divided. There is no doubt in my mind that I am the sole cause of all of this. You see a group of the clan has created an alliance with our rivals, the Shukai clan. We have been at constant war with the Shukaiís, ever since my great-great-great grand father broke away from the Shukais to create the Mashasaki clan. Now it seems that the events have come full circle.
The morning began with a scream, of terror and it was over when that scream was suddenly silenced. Pandemonium had already engulfed my people when I awoke. Children yelled out for their mothers, as the watched their homes burn, and their fathers murdered by those that had been friends only a few hours ago. My mind was racing, trying to figure what I could do. SomethingÖanything. I quickly unsheathed my sword, and sliced a nearby attackerís arms off. Over in the distance I could see that my people were struggling to mount a resistance. For some strange reason the symbol of the Mashasaki engraved into their arm, seemed to be calling me. Itís difficult to describe unless youíve ever witnessed such an occurrence. It seemed to be sending me a message, or some type of signal to alert me ofÖwhat? I frantically searched my mind for the answer. I couldnít ignore my surroundings for much longer; doing so would cause me to loose my life. Then it seems some outside force, directed my gaze downwards. There on my victimís sleeve was the symbol of the Mashasaki. It was clear to me now. My own people had caused all of this. How was I to know who my enemy was, and who was my ally. How could I spare any of them, when they could very well stab me in the back when I turned? Yet was I really to take innocent lives, just to benefit myself? I had no choice. As I write this I feel a sense of remorse over what Iíve done. I silently sheathed my sword, and walked away. The only thing that matters to me is Hanako. The Mashasaki clan has brought me nothing but strife within my life. However, it is becoming increasingly obvious that, even if I severed all ties with the Mashasaki Clan, I would still be the focal point of this chaos.



May 7th 1126

My internal battle continues. The Mashasaki clan has been all but destroyed. Do I feel resentment for neglecting my own people? Of course I do. Do I feel as if I have become the very thing that I have grown to despise? Perhaps, but Iíll let history decide my fate. Still, There is Hanako. I would not live peacefully if I did not do everything in my power to ensure that she has a peaceful life. How could I doom my child to a life of misery, and bloodshed? That is why I am heading north. The Botataka clan seems to be my vessel to a peaceful existence with my betrothed. The trip will be long, and brutal. People who would see the end of my life wait around every corner. I must be cautious. I cannot allow my mind to drift off, without hopes of having it return. As I ready myself, I canít keep from thinking about Hanako. Please let her be safe. It seemed like it years ago that I took her to the safe house deep in the woods, but I know deep down that it was not that long. I keep trying to convince myself that she would be safe, secluded from all harm. Yet, something keeps getting under my skin. Can I honestly believe that no conflict will come to her in this raging war that has swept across the land. However, I realize that I must stay motivated. Hanako is all that I am living for. If I were to destroy my bond with her, through fear of losing her I would become less like a man, and more like a beast. I wonít allow that to happen. Everything will be at peace, once my child is born, and that is why I begin my journey north, to the Botataka.

May 14th 1126

Iíve been traveling on foot for a week now. My body aches with every movement that I make. Iíve neglected my journal this whole time. Surely, scholars of later ages will scorn me for being so lethargicÖ I donít know how much longer I can go on. I have to find a safe place to rest. Has my struggle no end!


PERSONALITY


May 16th 1126
Curse my ancestors. They have damned me to a life of no meaning. Foolish imbeciles! I donít even know why I bother; the Mashasaki clan means nothing to me!
As I look towards the sun, I realize that the only way to end my suffering is to do it myself.

May 17th 1126

I should be dead right now. I was so certain that I wanted to end my constant burden. I was so certain that I wanted to end my lifeÖ my pain! Oh, I wish I could have plunged my sword straight into my heart. How I wish that my breath would be cut short, and I could rest peacefullyÖ Hanako, she is my life. my very being. She is the essence of my very soul. I dare not leave her in the land of the living as I succumb to the rivers of death! She has what has kept me going for all this time, yet I now realize that she has also been the reason that I choose to endure such hardships. All my life Iíve living for the sole reason that one day I could have a child. A child would allow me to live on forever through endless generations. Hanako is my path to achieving this. She is the key to the door of my dreams. Iím so close. Someone please help meÖ Iím so close.


Powers

Violent Expression- (Martial Arts)

May 23rd 1126

I cannot accurately portray my emotions as I laid my eyes on the Botataka clan hideout. It was like a wave finally returning back to shore. There is a sense of relief, maybe even a flicker of hope inside of me. Iím slowly starting to gain my sense of confidence and pride back. Yet, deep down I know that the worse is yet to come. I realize that in a land of chaos, that death can come for me at anytime. When my mind seems to optimistic, my conscience brings it back to a more reasonable level, as I realize that the next moment could be my last. However, I cannot dwell completely on such a pessimistic attitude, for I may never see my love again.
After all those days of travel, it hasnít really occurred to me how much of my training Iíve neglected. Iíve always counted on the movements of my body to accurately express myself. Iíve noticed this even more profoundly, in these past few days. My strikes are much more aggressive than what they usually are. Iím able to perfectly duplicate my feelings and emotions through my body. Iím very passionate about the way I fight. I have what some may call emotional content to itís extreme. Now that I am with the Botataka clan, this talent is slowly beginning to return to me.

Your own way (Martial Supremacy)

May 26th 1126

I feel even more at home now. I must admit that I was worried how I would be received by, the Botataka clan in times such as these, but I have been received rather graciously by them. I gladly extend my gratitude to them. Sadly, we cannot allow ourselves such pleasures as massive war approaches. Iíve spent last days, doing nothing, but preparing myself for battle.
Iíve Studied Martial Arts my entire life, and Iíve come to the realization that one needs all that is within him to survive, a confrontation. Another thing that I have come to notice is that following any style is denying yourself of your own creativity. It is like an artist painting the picture of another artist. That is why my style is, no style. I go with my own creativity, and my own mindset. My enemies will soon realize this is why I am truly so deadly.





Structure of my soul
May 27th 1126

There is talk of an upcoming battle amongst the Botatakans. More than not, I feel my fingers reach senselessly for my sword. My weapon has been my constant companion in times of struggle. How can such crude metal posses such beauty and grace as that of my own blade. We are one. When in battle, I feel as if my blade is like a shapingÖa weapon of my very soul. My movements are done not by arm, or any muscle for that matter, but by something deep within my being. Iíve often wondered about the source of this connection. I wonder how a man, and a flat piece of metal can be in such perfect union. I guess such things are not important; all that matters is that my blade will allow me one step closer to being with Hanako once again.


For my Love (Iron Will)

May 30th 1126

The battle nears. I can see it in their eyes. The clouds of war are finally upon us. As I sit here, in solitude in this darkened cave I have to wonder if this will be my last drink. Nothing like a bit of wine to calm the spirit. With every breath I take my heart yearns for Hanako; she is my everlasting energy. Could battle be so cruel as to take me away from her? My only source of light is fading quickly. Is this an omen? Will the claws of fate rip from that of my love? No! I will deny heaven itself if I must do so. Hanako, if your out there Iíll be with you one day. One day we will live peacefully with each other. We will watch our son play happily on our farm. (Sigh) Yes, Hanako when the dust of these bloody battlefields finally part, I will be yours forever.


Meanwhile in the great forest west of the Mashasaki training grounds.

Hanako sits quietly amongst the giant trees of the forest. The twinkling light of the moon brightens her sweet face, as she cradles a child in her arms. She smiles sweetly at the little bundle of joy, as the sweet baby coos with joy. Then like a flame that has been extinguished. Itís all gone. Hanako looks down to see a blade protruding from her chest. A red veil creeps over her eyes, and her breath is cut short. The bond has been broken.

dry.gif OMG SWM


--------------------
Points:A Gazillion almost as much as my swagga
Top
super_wolverine_Man
Posted: Oct 25 2008, 06:07 PM


Head Admin


Group: Admin
Posts: 7,680
Member No.: 3
Joined: 9-January 08



QUOTE (darkender @ Oct 25 2008, 06:06 PM)
QUOTE (super_wolverine_Man @ Oct 25 2008, 06:03 PM)
REVISED VERSION:

[Translated from Japanese]

April 23rd, 1126


Itís a dark time for the Mashasaki clan. Never in history have we been so surrounded by so much adversity, and corruption. It seems that it has been this way ever since my father was exiled. I think about it almost everyday. He had killed a member of the Shukai clan, during a time of peace. My people were quick to dispel him from the land. If that wasnít unfortunate enough, by right of inheritance I was made leader of the Mashasaki Clan. They donít trust me. I can see it in their eyesÖ I feel alone.  Great shadows swarm about my being. I feel trapped. Though my prison has no bars, chains, and it doesnít have a key. Thereís no escape for me. I feel as if a great burden has been laid upon my life, all due to the actions of my father. Thereís nowhere to run. Yet there is one that keeps me going. One that allows me to continue on my journey day after day after day. Sheís the most beautiful gift I could have hoped for. Her touch seems to bring a certain peace within me. As her lips press against mine, my worriesÖmy constant struggle seem very miniscule compared to our undying bond.

April 25th, 1126

There seems to be growing tensions among the clan. I once again have the feeling that they consider me a traitor.  These people, who I should be able to trust with my life, are now a constant burden in my everyday life. All honors that have been brought down from generation to generation have diminished. I know not what to do. However, I canít allow these shadows to overcome my happiness. I have to keep going for the sake of Hanako. Destiny not only has left with unending struggle within, it has also given me great giftsÖA beautiful wife, and soon I will be a father. The joy that comes with knowing this also gives me a sense of dread. For I am bringing my only son into a world of chaos.

April 31st, 1126

My time is now completely occupied with caring for Hanako as she readies to give birth to our child. Even as her stomach begins to grow to accommodate our child, she still personifies the word beauty. Not only in the physical sense, her shape makes even the most honorable men fill with lust; she is also graceful in the field of battle. Her quick circular movements, as her nimble bodies flows about like a river is something that artist should aspire to recreate. She brings a feeling of harmony within my life.  Yet, it seems whenever I find a sense of peace, and tranquility there seems to be more trouble waiting at my doorstep. Too many times have there been attempts on my life. Today was no different; once again someone attempted to cut my life short, and yet again had failed. He attacked me during my time of morning meditation. I have to say that his blade was quick, but he made about as much noise as an elephant. I had little problem decapitating him, with a simple wave of the sword. Without turning I knew that my adversary had fallen. After doing this for so long, and so often it no longer fazes me in any way.  Being the leader of clan that is hated by so many of the region, I am used to such things. However, the feeling was different this time. It felt like I was killing a member of my own family rather than an enemy. Perhaps it is because I felt like they were trying to take me away from my one escape from trouble. I felt as if they were taking me away from my only shield from adversity.  Sadly, the more I think about it the more I wish he had ended my suffering. Then I look at her face, and imagine the happiness that will be brought to us when our child is brought into the world.

May 3rd, 1126

Chaos. Thatís all I can say about these events. I was right. A conspiracy created amongst my own clan has caused it to split. My own people have gone from not trusting me to despising me. Itís gotten progressively worse over time, and today it erupted in a furious battle. As I have mentioned before my clan, my very own people are divided. There is no doubt in my mind that I am the sole cause of all of this. You see a group of the clan has created an alliance with our rivals, the Shukai clan. We have been at constant war with the Shukaiís, ever since my great-great-great grand father broke away from the Shukais to create the Mashasaki clan. Now it seems that the events have come full circle.
The morning began with a scream, of terror and it was over when that scream was suddenly silenced. Pandemonium had already engulfed my people when I awoke. Children yelled out for their mothers, as the watched their homes burn, and their fathers murdered by those that had been friends only a few hours ago. My mind was racing, trying to figure what I could do. SomethingÖanything. I quickly unsheathed my sword, and sliced a nearby attackerís arms off. Over in the distance I could see that my people were struggling to mount a resistance. For some strange reason the symbol of the Mashasaki engraved into their arm, seemed to be calling me. Itís difficult to describe unless youíve ever witnessed such an occurrence. It seemed to be sending me a message, or some type of signal to alert me ofÖwhat? I frantically searched my mind for the answer. I couldnít ignore my surroundings for much longer; doing so would cause me to loose my life. Then it seems some outside force, directed my gaze downwards. There on my victimís sleeve was the symbol of the Mashasaki. It was clear to me now. My own people had caused all of this. How was I to know who my enemy was, and who was my ally. How could I spare any of them, when they could very well stab me in the back when I turned? Yet was I really to take innocent lives, just to benefit myself? I had no choice. As I write this I feel a sense of remorse over what Iíve done. I silently sheathed my sword, and walked away. The only thing that matters to me is Hanako. The Mashasaki clan has brought me nothing but strife within my life. However, it is becoming increasingly obvious that, even if I severed all ties with the Mashasaki Clan, I would still be the focal point of this chaos.



May 7th 1126

My internal battle continues. The Mashasaki clan has been all but destroyed. Do I feel resentment for neglecting my own people? Of course I do. Do I feel as if I have become the very thing that I have grown to despise? Perhaps, but Iíll let history decide my fate. Still, There is Hanako. I would not live peacefully if I did not do everything in my power to ensure that she has a peaceful life. How could I doom my child to a life of misery, and bloodshed? That is why I am heading north. The Botataka clan seems to be my vessel to a peaceful existence with my betrothed. The trip will be long, and brutal. People who would see the end of my life wait around every corner. I must be cautious. I cannot allow my mind to drift off, without hopes of having it return. As I ready myself, I canít keep from thinking about Hanako. Please let her be safe. It seemed like it years ago that I took her to the safe house deep in the woods, but I know deep down that it was not that long. I keep trying to convince myself that she would be safe, secluded from all harm. Yet, something keeps getting under my skin. Can I honestly believe that no conflict will come to her in this raging war that has swept across the land. However, I realize that I must stay motivated. Hanako is all that I am living for. If I were to destroy my bond with her, through fear of losing her I would become less like a man, and more like a beast. I wonít allow that to happen. Everything will be at peace, once my child is born, and that is why I begin my journey north, to the Botataka.

May 14th 1126

Iíve been traveling on foot for a week now. My body aches with every movement that I make. Iíve neglected my journal this whole time. Surely, scholars of later ages will scorn me for being so lethargicÖ I donít know how much longer I can go on. I have to find a safe place to rest.  Has my struggle no end!


PERSONALITY


May 16th 1126
Curse my ancestors. They have damned me to a life of no meaning. Foolish imbeciles! I donít even know why I bother; the Mashasaki clan means nothing to me!
As I look towards the sun, I realize that the only way to end my suffering is to do it myself.

May 17th 1126

I should be dead right now. I was so certain that I wanted to end my constant burden. I was so certain that I wanted to end my lifeÖ my pain! Oh, I wish I could have plunged my sword straight into my heart. How I wish that my breath would be cut short, and I could rest peacefullyÖ Hanako, she is my life. my very being. She is the essence of my very soul. I dare not leave her in the land of the living as I succumb to the rivers of death! She has what has kept me going for all this time, yet I now realize that she has also been the reason that I choose to endure such hardships. All my life Iíve living for the sole reason that one day I could have a child. A child would allow me to live on forever through endless generations. Hanako is my path to achieving this. She is the key to the door of my dreams. Iím so close. Someone please help meÖ Iím so close.


Powers

Violent Expression- (Martial Arts)

May 23rd 1126

I cannot accurately portray my emotions as I laid my eyes on the Botataka clan hideout. It was like a wave finally returning back to shore. There is a sense of relief, maybe even a flicker of hope inside of me. Iím slowly starting to gain my sense of confidence and pride back. Yet, deep down I know that the worse is yet to come. I realize that in a land of chaos, that death can come for me at anytime. When my mind seems to optimistic, my conscience brings it back to a more reasonable level, as I realize that the next moment could be my last. However, I cannot dwell completely on such a pessimistic attitude, for I may never see my love again.
After all those days of travel, it hasnít really occurred to me how much of my training Iíve neglected.  Iíve always counted on the movements of my body to accurately express myself. Iíve noticed this even more profoundly, in these past few days. My strikes are much more aggressive than what they usually are. Iím able to perfectly duplicate my feelings and emotions through my body. Iím very passionate about the way I fight. I have what some may call emotional content to itís extreme. Now that I am with the Botataka clan, this talent is slowly beginning to return to me.

Your own way (Martial Supremacy)

May 26th 1126

I feel even more at home now. I must admit that I was worried how I would be received by, the Botataka clan in times such as these, but I have been received rather graciously by them. I gladly extend my gratitude to them. Sadly, we cannot allow ourselves such pleasures as massive war approaches. Iíve spent last days, doing nothing, but preparing myself for battle.
Iíve Studied Martial Arts my entire life, and Iíve come to the realization that one needs all that is within him to survive, a confrontation. Another thing that I have come to notice is that following any style is denying yourself of your own creativity. It is like an artist painting the picture of another artist. That is why my style is, no style. I go with my own creativity, and my own mindset. My enemies will soon realize this is why I am truly so deadly.


 


            Structure of my soul
            May 27th 1126

There is talk of an upcoming battle amongst the Botatakans. More than not, I feel my fingers reach senselessly for my sword. My weapon has been my constant companion in times of struggle. How can such crude metal posses such beauty and grace as that of my own blade. We are one. When in battle, I feel as if my blade is like a shapingÖa weapon of my very soul. My movements are done not by arm, or any muscle for that matter, but by something deep within my being. Iíve often wondered about the source of this connection. I wonder how a man, and a flat piece of metal can be in such perfect union. I guess such things are not important; all that matters is that my blade will allow me one step closer to being with Hanako once again.


For my Love  (Iron Will)

May 30th 1126

The battle nears. I can see it in their eyes. The clouds of war are finally upon us. As I sit here, in solitude in this darkened cave I have to wonder if this will be my last drink. Nothing like a bit of wine to calm the spirit. With every breath I take my heart yearns for Hanako; she is my everlasting energy. Could battle be so cruel as to take me away from her? My only source of light is fading quickly. Is this an omen? Will the claws of fate rip from that of my love? No! I will deny heaven itself if I must do so. Hanako, if your out there Iíll be with you one day. One day we will live peacefully with each other. We will watch our son play happily on our farm. (Sigh) Yes, Hanako when the dust of these bloody battlefields finally part, I will be yours forever.


Meanwhile in the great forest west of the Mashasaki training grounds.

Hanako sits quietly amongst the giant trees of the forest. The twinkling light of the moon brightens her sweet face, as she cradles a child in her arms. She smiles sweetly at the little bundle of joy, as the sweet baby coos with joy. Then like a flame that has been extinguished. Itís all gone. Hanako looks down to see a blade protruding from her chest. A red veil creeps over her eyes, and her breath is cut short. The bond has been broken.

dry.gif OMG SWM

What? unsure.gif


--------------------

Points:

"The first shot rang out from somewhere and I heard a bullet wiz by my face. With my pump action shotgun ready, I shoot the first fool I see."

Grano's so gangster.
Top
darkender
Posted: Oct 25 2008, 06:08 PM


Mr. Ego


Group: Members
Posts: 7,693
Member No.: 10
Joined: 10-January 08



QUOTE (super_wolverine_Man @ Oct 25 2008, 06:07 PM)
QUOTE (darkender @ Oct 25 2008, 06:06 PM)
QUOTE (super_wolverine_Man @ Oct 25 2008, 06:03 PM)
REVISED VERSION:

[Translated from Japanese]

April 23rd, 1126


Itís a dark time for the Mashasaki clan. Never in history have we been so surrounded by so much adversity, and corruption. It seems that it has been this way ever since my father was exiled. I think about it almost everyday. He had killed a member of the Shukai clan, during a time of peace. My people were quick to dispel him from the land. If that wasnít unfortunate enough, by right of inheritance I was made leader of the Mashasaki Clan. They donít trust me. I can see it in their eyesÖ I feel alone.† Great shadows swarm about my being. I feel trapped. Though my prison has no bars, chains, and it doesnít have a key. Thereís no escape for me. I feel as if a great burden has been laid upon my life, all due to the actions of my father. Thereís nowhere to run. Yet there is one that keeps me going. One that allows me to continue on my journey day after day after day. Sheís the most beautiful gift I could have hoped for. Her touch seems to bring a certain peace within me. As her lips press against mine, my worriesÖmy constant struggle seem very miniscule compared to our undying bond.

April 25th, 1126

There seems to be growing tensions among the clan. I once again have the feeling that they consider me a traitor.† These people, who I should be able to trust with my life, are now a constant burden in my everyday life. All honors that have been brought down from generation to generation have diminished. I know not what to do. However, I canít allow these shadows to overcome my happiness. I have to keep going for the sake of Hanako. Destiny not only has left with unending struggle within, it has also given me great giftsÖA beautiful wife, and soon I will be a father. The joy that comes with knowing this also gives me a sense of dread. For I am bringing my only son into a world of chaos.

April 31st, 1126

My time is now completely occupied with caring for Hanako as she readies to give birth to our child. Even as her stomach begins to grow to accommodate our child, she still personifies the word beauty. Not only in the physical sense, her shape makes even the most honorable men fill with lust; she is also graceful in the field of battle. Her quick circular movements, as her nimble bodies flows about like a river is something that artist should aspire to recreate. She brings a feeling of harmony within my life.†  Yet, it seems whenever I find a sense of peace, and tranquility there seems to be more trouble waiting at my doorstep. Too many times have there been attempts on my life. Today was no different; once again someone attempted to cut my life short, and yet again had failed. He attacked me during my time of morning meditation. I have to say that his blade was quick, but he made about as much noise as an elephant. I had little problem decapitating him, with a simple wave of the sword. Without turning I knew that my adversary had fallen. After doing this for so long, and so often it no longer fazes me in any way.† Being the leader of clan that is hated by so many of the region, I am used to such things. However, the feeling was different this time. It felt like I was killing a member of my own family rather than an enemy. Perhaps it is because I felt like they were trying to take me away from my one escape from trouble. I felt as if they were taking me away from my only shield from adversity.† Sadly, the more I think about it the more I wish he had ended my suffering. Then I look at her face, and imagine the happiness that will be brought to us when our child is brought into the world.

May 3rd, 1126

Chaos. Thatís all I can say about these events. I was right. A conspiracy created amongst my own clan has caused it to split. My own people have gone from not trusting me to despising me. Itís gotten progressively worse over time, and today it erupted in a furious battle. As I have mentioned before my clan, my very own people are divided. There is no doubt in my mind that I am the sole cause of all of this. You see a group of the clan has created an alliance with our rivals, the Shukai clan. We have been at constant war with the Shukaiís, ever since my great-great-great grand father broke away from the Shukais to create the Mashasaki clan. Now it seems that the events have come full circle.
The morning began with a scream, of terror and it was over when that scream was suddenly silenced. Pandemonium had already engulfed my people when I awoke. Children yelled out for their mothers, as the watched their homes burn, and their fathers murdered by those that had been friends only a few hours ago. My mind was racing, trying to figure what I could do. SomethingÖanything. I quickly unsheathed my sword, and sliced a nearby attackerís arms off. Over in the distance I could see that my people were struggling to mount a resistance. For some strange reason the symbol of the Mashasaki engraved into their arm, seemed to be calling me. Itís difficult to describe unless youíve ever witnessed such an occurrence. It seemed to be sending me a message, or some type of signal to alert me ofÖwhat? I frantically searched my mind for the answer. I couldnít ignore my surroundings for much longer; doing so would cause me to loose my life. Then it seems some outside force, directed my gaze downwards. There on my victimís sleeve was the symbol of the Mashasaki. It was clear to me now. My own people had caused all of this. How was I to know who my enemy was, and who was my ally. How could I spare any of them, when they could very well stab me in the back when I turned? Yet was I really to take innocent lives, just to benefit myself? I had no choice. As I write this I feel a sense of remorse over what Iíve done. I silently sheathed my sword, and walked away. The only thing that matters to me is Hanako. The Mashasaki clan has brought me nothing but strife within my life. However, it is becoming increasingly obvious that, even if I severed all ties with the Mashasaki Clan, I would still be the focal point of this chaos.



May 7th 1126

My internal battle continues. The Mashasaki clan has been all but destroyed. Do I feel resentment for neglecting my own people? Of course I do. Do I feel as if I have become the very thing that I have grown to despise? Perhaps, but Iíll let history decide my fate. Still, There is Hanako. I would not live peacefully if I did not do everything in my power to ensure that she has a peaceful life. How could I doom my child to a life of misery, and bloodshed? That is why I am heading north. The Botataka clan seems to be my vessel to a peaceful existence with my betrothed. The trip will be long, and brutal. People who would see the end of my life wait around every corner. I must be cautious. I cannot allow my mind to drift off, without hopes of having it return. As I ready myself, I canít keep from thinking about Hanako. Please let her be safe. It seemed like it years ago that I took her to the safe house deep in the woods, but I know deep down that it was not that long. I keep trying to convince myself that she would be safe, secluded from all harm. Yet, something keeps getting under my skin. Can I honestly believe that no conflict will come to her in this raging war that has swept across the land. However, I realize that I must stay motivated. Hanako is all that I am living for. If I were to destroy my bond with her, through fear of losing her I would become less like a man, and more like a beast. I wonít allow that to happen. Everything will be at peace, once my child is born, and that is why I begin my journey north, to the Botataka.

May 14th 1126

Iíve been traveling on foot for a week now. My body aches with every movement that I make. Iíve neglected my journal this whole time. Surely, scholars of later ages will scorn me for being so lethargicÖ I donít know how much longer I can go on. I have to find a safe place to rest.† Has my struggle no end!


PERSONALITY


May 16th 1126
Curse my ancestors. They have damned me to a life of no meaning. Foolish imbeciles! I donít even know why I bother; the Mashasaki clan means nothing to me!
As I look towards the sun, I realize that the only way to end my suffering is to do it myself.

May 17th 1126

I should be dead right now. I was so certain that I wanted to end my constant burden. I was so certain that I wanted to end my lifeÖ my pain! Oh, I wish I could have plunged my sword straight into my heart. How I wish that my breath would be cut short, and I could rest peacefullyÖ Hanako, she is my life. my very being. She is the essence of my very soul. I dare not leave her in the land of the living as I succumb to the rivers of death! She has what has kept me going for all this time, yet I now realize that she has also been the reason that I choose to endure such hardships. All my life Iíve living for the sole reason that one day I could have a child. A child would allow me to live on forever through endless generations. Hanako is my path to achieving this. She is the key to the door of my dreams. Iím so close. Someone please help meÖ Iím so close.


Powers

Violent Expression- (Martial Arts)

May 23rd 1126

I cannot accurately portray my emotions as I laid my eyes on the Botataka clan hideout. It was like a wave finally returning back to shore. There is a sense of relief, maybe even a flicker of hope inside of me. Iím slowly starting to gain my sense of confidence and pride back. Yet, deep down I know that the worse is yet to come. I realize that in a land of chaos, that death can come for me at anytime. When my mind seems to optimistic, my conscience brings it back to a more reasonable level, as I realize that the next moment could be my last. However, I cannot dwell completely on such a pessimistic attitude, for I may never see my love again.
After all those days of travel, it hasnít really occurred to me how much of my training Iíve neglected.†  Iíve always counted on the movements of my body to accurately express myself. Iíve noticed this even more profoundly, in these past few days. My strikes are much more aggressive than what they usually are. Iím able to perfectly duplicate my feelings and emotions through my body. Iím very passionate about the way I fight. I have what some may call emotional content to itís extreme. Now that I am with the Botataka clan, this talent is slowly beginning to return to me.

Your own way (Martial Supremacy)

May 26th 1126

I feel even more at home now. I must admit that I was worried how I would be received by, the Botataka clan in times such as these, but I have been received rather graciously by them. I gladly extend my gratitude to them. Sadly, we cannot allow ourselves such pleasures as massive war approaches. Iíve spent last days, doing nothing, but preparing myself for battle.
Iíve Studied Martial Arts my entire life, and Iíve come to the realization that one needs all that is within him to survive, a confrontation. Another thing that I have come to notice is that following any style is denying yourself of your own creativity. It is like an artist painting the picture of another artist. That is why my style is, no style. I go with my own creativity, and my own mindset. My enemies will soon realize this is why I am truly so deadly.





† † † † † †  Structure of my soul
† † † † † †  May 27th 1126

There is talk of an upcoming battle amongst the Botatakans. More than not, I feel my fingers reach senselessly for my sword. My weapon has been my constant companion in times of struggle. How can such crude metal posses such beauty and grace as that of my own blade. We are one. When in battle, I feel as if my blade is like a shapingÖa weapon of my very soul. My movements are done not by arm, or any muscle for that matter, but by something deep within my being. Iíve often wondered about the source of this connection. I wonder how a man, and a flat piece of metal can be in such perfect union. I guess such things are not important; all that matters is that my blade will allow me one step closer to being with Hanako once again.


For my Love† (Iron Will)

May 30th 1126

The battle nears. I can see it in their eyes. The clouds of war are finally upon us. As I sit here, in solitude in this darkened cave I have to wonder if this will be my last drink. Nothing like a bit of wine to calm the spirit. With every breath I take my heart yearns for Hanako; she is my everlasting energy. Could battle be so cruel as to take me away from her? My only source of light is fading quickly. Is this an omen? Will the claws of fate rip from that of my love? No! I will deny heaven itself if I must do so. Hanako, if your out there Iíll be with you one day. One day we will live peacefully with each other. We will watch our son play happily on our farm. (Sigh) Yes, Hanako when the dust of these bloody battlefields finally part, I will be yours forever.


Meanwhile in the great forest west of the Mashasaki training grounds.

Hanako sits quietly amongst the giant trees of the forest. The twinkling light of the moon brightens her sweet face, as she cradles a child in her arms. She smiles sweetly at the little bundle of joy, as the sweet baby coos with joy. Then like a flame that has been extinguished. Itís all gone. Hanako looks down to see a blade protruding from her chest. A red veil creeps over her eyes, and her breath is cut short. The bond has been broken.

dry.gif OMG SWM

What? unsure.gif

Thats sooo long!!!!


--------------------
Points:A Gazillion almost as much as my swagga
Top
super_wolverine_Man
Posted: Oct 25 2008, 06:10 PM


Head Admin


Group: Admin
Posts: 7,680
Member No.: 3
Joined: 9-January 08



Not really. Smolak was way longer. There are characters in the Hall of fame that hit around 8,000.


--------------------

Points:

"The first shot rang out from somewhere and I heard a bullet wiz by my face. With my pump action shotgun ready, I shoot the first fool I see."

Grano's so gangster.
Top
super_wolverine_Man
Posted: Oct 26 2008, 03:46 PM


Head Admin


Group: Admin
Posts: 7,680
Member No.: 3
Joined: 9-January 08



Anyone have some kind of reaction to my character?


--------------------

Points:

"The first shot rang out from somewhere and I heard a bullet wiz by my face. With my pump action shotgun ready, I shoot the first fool I see."

Grano's so gangster.
Top
treacherous
Posted: Oct 28 2008, 02:37 AM


Let Hammy have his Bison. I've got Zod.


Group: Admin
Posts: 3,499
Member No.: 37
Joined: 10-June 08



QUOTE (super_wolverine_Man @ Oct 26 2008, 03:46 PM)
Anyone have some kind of reaction to my character?

You know I'll look at it and give it a decent critique. It will just take me a week or so. I've got that EF lazy thing going.


--------------------
Points:

Ursa: You are master of all you survey.
General Zod: [bored] So I was yesterday. And the day before.




QUOTE (SilverSurfer092 @ Apr 9 2009, 03:27 AM)
WTFYES† Treacherous is full of pwnage.
Top
super_wolverine_Man
Posted: Oct 28 2008, 02:38 AM


Head Admin


Group: Admin
Posts: 7,680
Member No.: 3
Joined: 9-January 08



QUOTE (treacherous @ Oct 28 2008, 02:37 AM)
QUOTE (super_wolverine_Man @ Oct 26 2008, 03:46 PM)
Anyone have some kind of reaction to my character?

You know I'll look at it and give it a decent critique. It will just take me a week or so. I've got that EF lazy thing going.

No rush


--------------------

Points:

"The first shot rang out from somewhere and I heard a bullet wiz by my face. With my pump action shotgun ready, I shoot the first fool I see."

Grano's so gangster.
Top
granobulax
Posted: Oct 28 2008, 03:31 AM


He's even got his hand over where I live...


Group: Admin
Posts: 7,880
Member No.: 35
Joined: 31-May 08



QUOTE (super_wolverine_Man @ Oct 25 2008, 06:03 PM)
REVISED VERSION:

[Translated from Japanese]

April 23rd, 1126


It

That was truely amazing. Some of the best stuff I've seen so far on these sites.

The good:

1. Great character development. I felt like I really got to know the character.

2. I enjoyed getting into the characters thought process. Goes along with the character development.

3. The story moved along at a good pace. No stagnant periods where the story gets stale.

4. His internal conflict was what made this story. He really felt human, real. I can relate to him best with this style of writing.

The bad:

1. At the beginning, there were a lot of short sentences. It seemed a little fragmented and didn't flow as well as the rest of the story.

2. He cut BOTH arms off of his foe at the same time? It seemed awkward right there. I would suggest revising just a little.

3. The ending of the story was a bit expected. The way you built up his love for her and her bearing his child, lead exactly where I thought you were going.


All in all, great work! I'm very glad to have read it. (Although it did take a while lol)


--------------------
Points:


I scare little kids.
user posted image

QUOTE (treacherous @ Aug 16 2008, 12:12 PM)
RRRAOAAOAOAORRARRAA!!...  Blue lights and sirens rang through the night!! Yeah, they all wanna kill each other... HERE ME CITY!! THE STREETS BELONG TO THE GANGS NOW!! THIS IS THE NEW ORDER!! PREPARE FOR CHAOS!!

Solomon and I may be gangsta, but treach is the gangsta of the year!
Top
darkender
Posted: Oct 28 2008, 02:22 PM


Mr. Ego


Group: Members
Posts: 7,693
Member No.: 10
Joined: 10-January 08



YEA!!!! I decided to join you guys in making charcters!!!!! Look at my first character in a while!!!! Tell me what you think!!!!!!

Name: Ken
Solo Villain

Origin: I try to do good, but dont we all. Being bad is a lot easy than you would think. Doing whatever you want and having close to no consequences. I do remember having some fun being a "Good Guy" though. I can even remember how I became to be a hero in the first place. It wasn't long ago.
When I first discovered my powers I had the same thought pattern of most of those heroes with powers. I thought to myself I could change the world to make it a better place, but little of the world I knew. I tried at first to just scan the rooftops and stop whatever crimes I saw from being committed. Littering, purse grabbing and all of that I would stop, but the cops didn't care. They just viewed me as a viligante that wanted to take their jobs. So they began to chase me and try to run me out of town. At first I looked at it as a sign of how good I was doing, because all of the other superheroes had problems with the police. So I didn't hurt them I just left them alone, and kept on doing what I thought was the right thing to do. They didn't share the same feelings and decided I was too radical for their city. Eventually they caught me and thats why I'm sitting in this cell now. Isn't it wonderful that they made it just for me. I've been here for over a month now and I'm sick of it, being locked up with common criminals. The good thing is it really shined the light on what the world is really like and I don't like it. Its time the world learned the the power of a true super being.

Personality: I tried to convince them it would best to let me out but they didn't listen. They decided to follow their own just as I will learn to do. I tried to be nice before, I even sat in this jail cell as they plotted against me, all of them. With all I did for this city they locked me, and for that this city doesn't deserve to stand. When I'm done with this city there will nothing left but my rule.
Powers:

Eldrich Blast Supreme:
Ken began to raise his eyes towards the sky as they began to shine with orange light. He started talking to himself, chanting and muttering his plans for the city. With that his eyes turned red, he turned his head towards the camera and raising one finger a blast of energy destroyed the camera, and with that sirens began to go off. He then turned he head towards the cieling just staring for some time untill the door began to open as officers tried to flood in. With a yell of rage ken let off a terriffying blast bringing the cieling down on top of the officers. He began to lift off the ground as he flew off into the sky.

Flight Supreme: As he started to lift into the air his eyes began to turn back to the normal color of hazel. He began to look around as he realized he was in mid-flight an ability he had not known he had before. He stayed hovering above the cieling watching more officers run in panicing at just the fact of him being loose. He looked down at the jail house yard as the guards became to come and fire at him. With one bulet grazing his arm he realized he had to move. He began to move with incredible speed. Dodgeing and weaving through the woods area outside the prison. Unitll he made it to the outskirts of town and he suddenly stopped. He began to question himself as to why was he running. He was the one with the power they should be fleeing from him. He turned around and began to rise above the prison just hovering in mid-air.

Force Field Superior:
As he floated there he looked and watched them try to shoot at him. He realized a force field of some sort started to incase him in what looked like a bubble. He put his hand to force field as their bullets bounced off. His eyes again started to glow as he muttered to himself his next plan of action. He started to lower himself, to be closer to the ground. They all ceased firing thinking he was going to give himself up. When all of a sudden he began to raise his hand towards the guards in from of him and he began blasting energy beams from his eyes and finger tips killing all of the guards surrounding the prison. When done he went back to the sky, to make sure there was no surviving guards. Then he returned back to the prison unlocking all of the cells, and letting all of the prisoners go. As they began to flood out of the prison into the yards he yelled to them. He told them to flee to the city and cause havoc, for the city will soon be theirs. And with a cheer from the criminals they ran through the woods aiming for the city for they could cause havoc.

Martial arts Standard: As he and the villains made their way towards the city, there was a line of heroes guarding it. As they began to approach them they called out to each other. Ken yelled at his loudest voice could go "Move aside heroes for this doesn't concern any of you." He then stood their waiting for a respone, but the heroes just stood their standing their ground. "Fine" he yelled again "You will fall with the rest of the city" He signaled his army of vilains to charge as they began to fight the same heroes that imprisoned them in the prison they just was broken out of. Ken began himself began to fight as his eyes glowing a deep deep red. He charged at the heroes useing fighting skills he never realized he had.

Martial Supremacy Standard: He fought with such anger as his eyes glowing with such a deep red shade. His fighting skills became even stronger. Flipping heroes over him that he himself didn't think could happen. Soon there was no heroes of the city left to fight. As they began to cause havoc for the city. He stood at a distance in the sky as the feeble police force tried to fight back against the villains with little avail. He stared at what was starting to look like his city to own thinking to himself" I could get use to this."





Okay tell me what you think of it. I tried to not make it too long and if you have any Pics that you think would be good that would really help.




--------------------
Points:A Gazillion almost as much as my swagga
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super_wolverine_Man
Posted: Oct 28 2008, 06:59 PM


Head Admin


Group: Admin
Posts: 7,680
Member No.: 3
Joined: 9-January 08



QUOTE (darkender @ Oct 28 2008, 02:22 PM)
YEA!!!! I decided to join you guys in making charcters!!!!! Look at my first character in a while!!!! Tell me what you think!!!!!!

Name: Ken
Solo Villain

Origin: I try to do good, but dont we all. Being bad is a lot easy than you would think. Doing whatever you want and having close to no consequences. I do remember having some fun being a "Good Guy" though. I can even remember how I became to be a hero in the first place. It wasn't long ago.
When I first discovered my powers I had the same thought pattern of most of those heroes with powers. I thought to myself I could change the world to make it a better place, but little of the world I knew. I tried at first to just scan the rooftops and stop whatever crimes I saw from being committed. Littering, purse grabbing and all of that I would stop, but the cops didn't care. They just viewed me as a viligante that wanted to take their jobs. So they began to chase me and try to run me out of town. At first I looked at it as a sign of how good I was doing, because all of the other superheroes had problems with the police. So I didn't hurt them I just left them alone, and kept on doing what I thought was the right thing to do. They didn't share the same feelings and decided I was too radical for their city. Eventually they caught me and thats why I'm sitting in this cell now. Isn't it wonderful that they made it just for me. I've been here for over a month now and I'm sick of it, being locked up with common criminals. The good thing is it really shined the light on what the world is really like and I don't like it. Its time the world learned the the power of a true super being.

Personality: I tried to convince them it would best to let me out but they didn't listen. They decided to follow their own just as I will learn to do. I tried to be nice before, I even sat in this jail cell as they plotted against me, all of them. With all I did for this city they locked me, and for that this city doesn't deserve to stand. When I'm done with this city there will nothing left but my rule.
Powers:

Eldrich Blast Supreme:
Ken began to raise his eyes towards the sky as they began to shine with orange light. He started talking to himself, chanting and muttering his plans for the city. With that his eyes turned red, he turned his head towards the camera and raising one finger a blast of energy destroyed the camera, and with that sirens began to go off. He then turned he head towards the cieling just staring for some time untill the door began to open as officers tried to flood in. With a yell of rage ken let off a terriffying blast bringing the cieling down on top of the officers. He began to lift off the ground as he flew off into the sky.

Flight Supreme: As he started to lift into the air his eyes began to turn back to the normal color of hazel. He began to look around as he realized he was in mid-flight an ability he had not known he had before. He stayed hovering above the cieling watching more officers run in panicing at just the fact of him being loose. He looked down at the jail house yard as the guards became to come and fire at him. With one bulet grazing his arm he realized he had to move. He began to move with incredible speed. Dodgeing and weaving through the woods area outside the prison. Unitll he made it to the outskirts of town and he suddenly stopped. He began to question himself as to why was he running. He was the one with the power they should be fleeing from him. He turned around and began to rise above the prison just hovering in mid-air.

Force Field Superior:
As he floated there he looked and watched them try to shoot at him. He realized a force field of some sort started to incase him in what looked like a bubble. He put his hand to force field as their bullets bounced off. His eyes again started to glow as he muttered to himself his next plan of action. He started to lower himself, to be closer to the ground. They all ceased firing thinking he was going to give himself up. When all of a sudden he began to raise his hand towards the guards in from of him and he began blasting energy beams from his eyes and finger tips killing all of the guards surrounding the prison. When done he went back to the sky, to make sure there was no surviving guards. Then he returned back to the prison unlocking all of the cells, and letting all of the prisoners go. As they began to flood out of the prison into the yards he yelled to them. He told them to flee to the city and cause havoc, for the city will soon be theirs. And with a cheer from the criminals they ran through the woods aiming for the city for they could cause havoc.

Martial arts Standard: As he and the villains made their way towards the city, there was a line of heroes guarding it. As they began to approach them they called out to each other. Ken yelled at his loudest voice could go "Move aside heroes for this doesn't concern any of you." He then stood their waiting for a respone, but the heroes just stood their standing their ground. "Fine" he yelled again "You will fall with the rest of the city" He signaled his army of vilains to charge as they began to fight the same heroes that imprisoned them in the prison they just was broken out of. Ken began himself began to fight as his eyes glowing a deep deep red. He charged at the heroes useing fighting skills he never realized he had.

Martial Supremacy Standard: He fought with such anger as his eyes glowing with such a deep red shade. His fighting skills became even stronger. Flipping heroes over him that he himself didn't think could happen. Soon there was no heroes of the city left to fight. As they began to cause havoc for the city. He stood at a distance in the sky as the feeble police force tried to fight back against the villains with little avail. He stared at what was starting to look like his city to own thinking to himself" I could get use to this."





Okay tell me what you think of it. I tried to not make it too long and if you have any Pics that you think would be good that would really help.

Once again post it on electric ferret.


--------------------

Points:

"The first shot rang out from somewhere and I heard a bullet wiz by my face. With my pump action shotgun ready, I shoot the first fool I see."

Grano's so gangster.
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