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Pages: (106) « First ... 102 103 [104] 105 106  ( Go to first unread post )

 FPL CHARACTERS
Bassetman
Posted: May 29 2009, 08:35 PM


Gentleman Skeleton


Group: Admin
Posts: 4,701
Member No.: 20
Joined: 14-January 08



I liked that Golem character Trech used in his RP.

Creative. happy.gif


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treacherous
Posted: May 29 2009, 09:10 PM


Let Hammy have his Bison. I've got Zod.


Group: Admin
Posts: 3,499
Member No.: 37
Joined: 10-June 08



QUOTE (Bassetman @ May 29 2009, 08:35 PM)
I liked that Golem character Trech used in his RP.

Creative. happy.gif

It was Pseudonym's pick.


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Points:

Ursa: You are master of all you survey.
General Zod: [bored] So I was yesterday. And the day before.




QUOTE (SilverSurfer092 @ Apr 9 2009, 03:27 AM)
WTFYES  Treacherous is full of pwnage.
Top
Bassetman
Posted: May 30 2009, 04:00 AM


Gentleman Skeleton


Group: Admin
Posts: 4,701
Member No.: 20
Joined: 14-January 08



Ah, okay.


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daps&pounds
Posted: Jun 1 2009, 06:39 AM


Member


Group: Members
Posts: 20
Member No.: 247
Joined: 22-May 09



So.....this is one of my installments in a mini-story, please give me as much critique you can give...it is still a very rough draft. Furthermore, I plan on posting all of this on the new FPL site.

The Sons of the Sun King, Pt. 1
Background
He looks out of a window and the sunlight drips in and warms his face. He enjoys it, it makes him smile, and it is a moment in silence where it seems nature is on his side. The warmth is there to comfort him as he lays on the ground in a daze. A butterfly flies through the broken pieces of wood and rusted nails and lands in front of him. “It is time”, says the Monarch as its wings end the fluttering and rest on the man’s hand. The man soon gets a worried look on his face as he starts remembering when he thought nature was his friend. When he was a child, the plants and animals comforted him as he would lay behind bushes and sleep in trees. The grown- up’s never understood him, they tried to treat him and fix him. Stuffing their medicine down his throat and trying to analyze him. The thing he hated the most was when they would sit him in a room with no windows, no sunlight, the white walls would burn his mind because he could not get away from their blank stare, he needed color, he needed life. He now remembers the day he left, he was sitting where everyone ate. The cool, steel table bothered him as he tried to swallow down some soupy concoction made by people who grimaced at him all the time. A couple of tables behind him, a man stiffens up after ingesting too many pills and falls into seizures. The boy sees the orderlies, the gates barring him from his freedom moving to help the man. The boy runs through the cafeteria doors and the orderlies see him. They chase after him, but he hears voices in his head that have been calling him to come to them and they guide the boy to the outside. The boy’s legs are pumping with all of his might, he so desperately needs to reach the voices. He burst out the doors in frenzy, and the rain from the sky washed away the burning feel left on his skin, he could feel the orderlies chasing him. But he ran as fast as he could into a nearby forest and he soon became shielded he ripped away the clothes and ran out in a fury. Then, then he could hear his friends, the bugs, the trees, the birds welcoming him home forever as he ran farther, and farther away into a nearby forest. When he felt safe, he stopped in a forest floor, a robin landed in front of him and said…. “You are needed”.

Personality
The boy was a friend of nature, they had him turn away intruders who would cut down their trees or hunt their animals, he was nature’s weapon against human forces. In turn, the boy got sustenance from nature produced and found solace and friendship in the life of the wild. The boy enjoyed the attention and understanding that nature provided. It didn’t ask questions, it didn’t try to fix him, it only loved him. Soon, more animals and more plants called to the boy. The boy had an endless amount of friends and fun. He enjoyed the tickling feeling of the buzzing bees and sweet scents of the flowers. He would race the snakes and squirrels up the trees and nursed the stray animals that wandered into his forest paradise. He had felt the happiness we wanted so badly, and knew he would do anything to keep it this way.

As he grew older, the man had to do more and more tasks for nature. Nature was asking him to protect it so that he could live with it. The man could not resist this call of duty. So the man released his wild side and his body filled with angry might as he crushed and killed those who would dare endanger his life. At first, he wanted to do it; the man took pleasure in harming those who would harm nature. But soon, he felt overwhelmed because he could never get nature out of his head, it always spoke to him, asking more of him, moving him to do things he didn’t want to do. The man had escaped one hell just to run to another. He was tired of his powers, he wanted to do away with the voices in his head, and he wanted to find to the reason for his powers and wanted to destroy it. Nature had finally found someone who would listen to it, and it would never stop speaking.

Mind-weak
Agility – superior
Strength – standard
Body – normal

Communicate with Plants – 25 the target pt. 1
As the man listened to the butterfly, he rose up in an immediate sweat, the sun no longer comforted him, and he became overwhelmed once again. He backed up against a wall and realized he was in some sort of shack. The vines poking through the wall pressed and pricked along his back as they whispered, “You are the one” in some sort of green chorus. The man answered back, “No”. Then, the bush that was half in the window and the grass that came up through the floors told the man he could not refuse them, and that they were his friend. Then, as the man dropped to his knees and kept refusing, the orders from the plant life turned into pleas. These pleas reminded the man of the first time he escaped to the wild, nature needed him so much. The trees yearned for his company and the grass wanted someone to walk on it, to feel the grooves and curves of it. The plants needed the understanding. And the man once again felt needed, like he belonged. The plants knew this and used it to their advantage. The plants were motivating him, moving him to their goal; this was the fervor behind the man’s mission. Still reluctant, the man replied “One last time.”

Communicate with Animals – 25 – The target pt. 2
The butterfly jumped from the floor and fluttered in place in front of the man as a row of ants crawled up the man’s leg. Then, the man noticed a lizard that crawled up the wall and next to the man’s ear. They said in unison, “Go to Khazan and destroy the city.” The man replied back, I want to kill whoever is responsible for my power, they claimed, “The man who drives his power from our sun lives there. He is your father, it is his fault.” While the plants were the reason for the man’s mission, the animals were the intelligence. The insects crawled in every corner, listening to every word. The birds knew the routine of the city, they were always around but were always ignored. Even the stray dogs and cats that live between city and forests adhere to nature’s will and the man’s tasks. They observe, they interact, and they report back to the man with all the information he needs to finish nature’s mission.

Berserker – supreme – The Untamed Beast
The man stopped talking, a familiar feeling rushed to his head. Nature was finally taking over. He breathed deeply, the voices rushed into his mind, and he screamed. He screamed as loud as he could because the stress of the voices and his power took over his being. The man burst out of the shack and he ran, he ran as he did before trying to find solace for the last time. As he ran, he felt his muscles grow, his body moving faster, and his clothes ripping. He felt anger, hatred, and rage as he trudged over an open road knocking cars out of his way and breaking up the road with each heavy step. The beast started knocking over signs as if they were as light as flowers. An eighteen wheeler started barreling down toward him over a steep hill and the Beast went at it head first. The eighteen wheeler crunches as massive engine shoots through the tanker attached in the back. The beast continues to run in fury as he leaves a trail of mashed cars, exploded parts and crunched concrete. He sees a large city ahead of him and only two voices stay in his head to motivate him, “This is the last time, destroy the city” and “Kill the man who gets his power from the sun.” His rage would never end until he has completed both of his tasks.

Danger Sense – superior – Nature has his back
Nature wants to rise up against the inhabitants of Khazan. They have polluted its air and water, cut down trees for its land developments, killed its animals for pleasure, and uses its land for their battles. It no longer has any patience and will help its weapon destroy its’ major adversary. So, when the beast attacks the Khazan the animals will alert him when man attacks back and the plants will inform him of man’s every move against him. Anyone who stands in the beast’s way has to deal with back up.

Closed Mind – supreme – Finding Solace
“This is the last time, destroy Khazan”. “Kill the man who gets his power from the sun”.






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I am the one that you might see around town, handing out daps & pounds....[COLOR=green][FONT=Impact]
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treacherous
Posted: Jun 2 2009, 11:50 AM


Let Hammy have his Bison. I've got Zod.


Group: Admin
Posts: 3,499
Member No.: 37
Joined: 10-June 08



Nobody would like to tell my nephew how his story is? dry.gif



--------------------
Points:

Ursa: You are master of all you survey.
General Zod: [bored] So I was yesterday. And the day before.




QUOTE (SilverSurfer092 @ Apr 9 2009, 03:27 AM)
WTFYES  Treacherous is full of pwnage.
Top
Marvel Man
Posted: Jun 2 2009, 04:51 PM


The Marvel Crusader


Group: Members
Posts: 1,784
Member No.: 89
Joined: 28-September 08



Your story is awesome.

.......

Don't hurt me Treach! I did what you said! AAAAHHHH!!


--------------------
Points


user posted image
OFFICIAL 2x HAVEN WRITING COMPETITION CHAMPION!!
OFFICIAL 2ND PLACE WRITER IN ADMIN CONTEST!!

"Do you know what happens to toads that are struck by lightning?
The same thing that happens to everything else."

-Storm
Top
treacherous
Posted: Jun 2 2009, 09:52 PM


Let Hammy have his Bison. I've got Zod.


Group: Admin
Posts: 3,499
Member No.: 37
Joined: 10-June 08



QUOTE (Marvel Man @ Jun 2 2009, 04:51 PM)
Your story is awesome.

.......

Don't hurt me Treach! I did what you said! AAAAHHHH!!

You could've told him it sucked too. I just wanted him to get some constructive criticism from the Haven crowd.


--------------------
Points:

Ursa: You are master of all you survey.
General Zod: [bored] So I was yesterday. And the day before.




QUOTE (SilverSurfer092 @ Apr 9 2009, 03:27 AM)
WTFYES  Treacherous is full of pwnage.
Top
treacherous
Posted: Jun 2 2009, 09:57 PM


Let Hammy have his Bison. I've got Zod.


Group: Admin
Posts: 3,499
Member No.: 37
Joined: 10-June 08



Grano's basketball team has caught up with my Golem. dry.gif and Marjus is kicking my butt.

Why are my fights the only ones where the votes are going up tremendously (and not in my favor.)? Who do I beat up?


--------------------
Points:

Ursa: You are master of all you survey.
General Zod: [bored] So I was yesterday. And the day before.




QUOTE (SilverSurfer092 @ Apr 9 2009, 03:27 AM)
WTFYES  Treacherous is full of pwnage.
Top
Darkender
Posted: Jun 3 2009, 02:03 AM


Mr. Ego


Group: Members
Posts: 7,693
Member No.: 10
Joined: 10-January 08



QUOTE (treacherous @ Jun 2 2009, 05:52 PM)
QUOTE (Marvel Man @ Jun 2 2009, 04:51 PM)
Your story is awesome.

.......

Don't hurt me Treach! I did what you said! AAAAHHHH!!

You could've told him it sucked too. I just wanted him to get some constructive criticism from the Haven crowd.

dry.gif It sucks.


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Points:A Gazillion almost as much as my swagga
Top
daps&pounds
Posted: Jun 3 2009, 03:50 AM


Member


Group: Members
Posts: 20
Member No.: 247
Joined: 22-May 09



QUOTE (Darkender @ Jun 3 2009, 02:03 AM)
QUOTE (treacherous @ Jun 2 2009, 05:52 PM)
QUOTE (Marvel Man @ Jun 2 2009, 04:51 PM)
Your story is awesome.

.......

Don't hurt me Treach! I did what you said! AAAAHHHH!!

You could've told him it sucked too. I just wanted him to get some constructive criticism from the Haven crowd.

dry.gif It sucks.

It sucks isn't constructive.


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I am the one that you might see around town, handing out daps & pounds....[COLOR=green][FONT=Impact]
Top
Marvel Man
Posted: Jun 3 2009, 05:12 AM


The Marvel Crusader


Group: Members
Posts: 1,784
Member No.: 89
Joined: 28-September 08



QUOTE (daps&pounds @ Jun 3 2009, 03:50 AM)
QUOTE (Darkender @ Jun 3 2009, 02:03 AM)
QUOTE (treacherous @ Jun 2 2009, 05:52 PM)
QUOTE (Marvel Man @ Jun 2 2009, 04:51 PM)
Your story is awesome.

.......

Don't hurt me Treach! I did what you said! AAAAHHHH!!

You could've told him it sucked too. I just wanted him to get some constructive criticism from the Haven crowd.

dry.gif It sucks.

It sucks isn't constructive.

He's joking.

Or unable to tell a good story from a bad one. (In other words, a twilight fan)


--------------------
Points


user posted image
OFFICIAL 2x HAVEN WRITING COMPETITION CHAMPION!!
OFFICIAL 2ND PLACE WRITER IN ADMIN CONTEST!!

"Do you know what happens to toads that are struck by lightning?
The same thing that happens to everything else."

-Storm
Top
daps&pounds
Posted: Jun 3 2009, 06:27 PM


Member


Group: Members
Posts: 20
Member No.: 247
Joined: 22-May 09



Ah, my girlfriend is into the sparkling vampires.......what a bad idea that made soo much money. I think I'm gonna do the same and get rich. My story will be about werewolves that chase cougars and get into American Pie-esque misadventures. It will be called all Dogs got to College


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I am the one that you might see around town, handing out daps & pounds....[COLOR=green][FONT=Impact]
Top
Granobulax
Posted: Jun 9 2009, 08:20 PM


He's even got his hand over where I live...


Group: Admin
Posts: 7,880
Member No.: 35
Joined: 31-May 08



QUOTE (treacherous @ Jun 2 2009, 11:50 AM)
Nobody would like to tell my nephew how his story is? dry.gif

I believe I made my criticisms on another thread already. I hope he got a chance to read it.


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Points:


I scare little kids.
user posted image

QUOTE (treacherous @ Aug 16 2008, 12:12 PM)
RRRAOAAOAOAORRARRAA!!...  Blue lights and sirens rang through the night!! Yeah, they all wanna kill each other... HERE ME CITY!! THE STREETS BELONG TO THE GANGS NOW!! THIS IS THE NEW ORDER!! PREPARE FOR CHAOS!!

Solomon and I may be gangsta, but treach is the gangsta of the year!
Top
treacherous
Posted: Jun 9 2009, 10:14 PM


Let Hammy have his Bison. I've got Zod.


Group: Admin
Posts: 3,499
Member No.: 37
Joined: 10-June 08



QUOTE (Granobulax @ Jun 9 2009, 08:20 PM)
I believe I made my criticisms on another thread already. I hope he got a chance to read it.

He did. He's taking them all into consideration.


--------------------
Points:

Ursa: You are master of all you survey.
General Zod: [bored] So I was yesterday. And the day before.




QUOTE (SilverSurfer092 @ Apr 9 2009, 03:27 AM)
WTFYES  Treacherous is full of pwnage.
Top
Darkender
Posted: Jun 9 2009, 10:30 PM


Mr. Ego


Group: Members
Posts: 7,693
Member No.: 10
Joined: 10-January 08



Okay, I didn't even know that the FPl on Electric Ferret was still going so I haven't been voting. That sucks.


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Points:A Gazillion almost as much as my swagga
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