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 White Eyed Fox, Comment on my Naruto fanfic
Guardian Of Nesh
Posted: Jan 21 2008, 12:17 AM


Unregistered









Here's the link:
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3796603/1/White_Eyed_Fox
Only comment if you know the Naruto stroyline.
Top
DataSnake
Posted: Jan 21 2008, 12:51 AM


Emperor of Mankind


Group: Members
Posts: 487
Member No.: 9
Joined: 10-January 08



QUOTE (Guardian Of Nesh @ Jan 21 2008, 12:17 AM)
Here's the link:
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3796603/1/White_Eyed_Fox
Only comment if you know the Naruto stroyline.

... blink.gif
I thought "Hinata" was a manga about a guy who inherits an all-girls boarding house?


--------------------
Points:

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!
Top
The Sharpshooter
Posted: Jan 21 2008, 12:51 AM


Unregistered









Heh, so the Kyubi got put in Hinata instead huh? Well, great idea, needs to be a little more drawn out if you ask me. Of course, that could be just because I'm a NaruHina fan and you've made it obvious she's diggin' Kiba. Oh well, I'm an ass. tongue.gif
Top
Guardian Of Nesh
Posted: Jan 21 2008, 12:53 AM


Unregistered









QUOTE (DataSnake @ Jan 21 2008, 12:51 AM)
QUOTE (Guardian Of Nesh @ Jan 21 2008, 12:17 AM)
Here's the link:
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3796603/1/White_Eyed_Fox
Only comment if you know the Naruto stroyline.

... blink.gif
I thought "Hinata" was a manga about a guy who inherits an all-girls boarding house?

*Closes eyes, tilts head down and shakes it in response to the poster's ignorance."
Top
Guardian Of Nesh
Posted: Jan 21 2008, 12:54 AM


Unregistered









QUOTE (The Sharpshooter @ Jan 21 2008, 12:51 AM)
Heh, so the Kyubi got put in Hinata instead huh? Well, great idea, needs to be a little more drawn out if you ask me. Of course, that could be just because I'm a NaruHina fan and you've made it obvious she's diggin' Kiba. Oh well, I'm an ass. tongue.gif

Oh, well.
Top
Guardian Of Nesh
Posted: Jan 21 2008, 12:56 AM


Unregistered









QUOTE (The Sharpshooter @ Jan 21 2008, 12:51 AM)
Heh, so the Kyubi got put in Hinata instead huh? Well, great idea, needs to be a little more drawn out if you ask me. Of course, that could be just because I'm a NaruHina fan and you've made it obvious she's diggin' Kiba. Oh well, I'm an ass. tongue.gif

What did I do well?
Top
hellbentnow
Posted: Jan 21 2008, 01:35 AM


The Manga Maniac of Haven


Group: Members
Posts: 538
Member No.: 19
Joined: 13-January 08



hmm. Hinata should be stronger. I prefer Naruto with the fox but yours is great. I'm now read chap 5. Hinata is a weak %!#ch. And Naruto shouldn't know how to do Shadow clone jutsu. And i love the idea with Hinata and Naruto, i guess you like Kiba more huh?


--------------------
And I say HEY! (HEY!)
What a wonderful kind of day
If we can learn to work and play
And get along with each other.
Hey what a wonderful kind of day hey!
Top
Guardian Of Nesh
Posted: Jan 21 2008, 01:40 AM


Unregistered









QUOTE (hellbentnow @ Jan 21 2008, 01:35 AM)
hmm. Hinata should be stronger. I prefer Naruto with the fox but yours is great. I'm now read chap 5. Hinata is a weak %!#ch. And Naruto shouldn't know how to do Shadow clone jutsu. And i love the idea with Hinata and Naruto, i guess you like Kiba more huh?

It's not that I like Kiba more, it's that Naruhina doesn't appeal to me. Naruto knows Shadow Clone jutsu because I was too lazy to change him from a goofball. Hinata seems weak because she was fighting a highly experence Jonniin and i wanted to emphize teamwork.
Top
hellbentnow
Posted: Jan 21 2008, 01:53 AM


The Manga Maniac of Haven


Group: Members
Posts: 538
Member No.: 19
Joined: 13-January 08



QUOTE (Guardian Of Nesh @ Jan 21 2008, 01:40 AM)
QUOTE (hellbentnow @ Jan 21 2008, 01:35 AM)
hmm. Hinata should be stronger. I prefer Naruto with the fox but yours is great. I'm now read chap 5. Hinata is a weak %!#ch. And Naruto shouldn't know how to do Shadow clone jutsu.  And i love the idea with Hinata and Naruto, i guess you like Kiba more huh?

It's not that I like Kiba more, it's that Naruhina doesn't appeal to me. Naruto knows Shadow Clone jutsu because I was too lazy to change him from a goofball. Hinata seems weak because she was fighting a highly experence Jonniin and i wanted to emphize teamwork.

Not weak like that, weak minded.

She obeys a fox that will eventually betray her and destroy her family and villian as she watches in the cage that once held him. She is a weak minded person who should die. I like your story but I hate Hinata in your story. You plan to write anymore??? i'll deifantly read more.


--------------------
And I say HEY! (HEY!)
What a wonderful kind of day
If we can learn to work and play
And get along with each other.
Hey what a wonderful kind of day hey!
Top
Guardian Of Nesh
Posted: Jan 21 2008, 02:10 AM


Unregistered









QUOTE (hellbentnow @ Jan 21 2008, 01:53 AM)
QUOTE (Guardian Of Nesh @ Jan 21 2008, 01:40 AM)
QUOTE (hellbentnow @ Jan 21 2008, 01:35 AM)
hmm. Hinata should be stronger. I prefer Naruto with the fox but yours is great. I'm now read chap 5. Hinata is a weak %!#ch. And Naruto shouldn't know how to do Shadow clone jutsu.  And i love the idea with Hinata and Naruto, i guess you like Kiba more huh?

It's not that I like Kiba more, it's that Naruhina doesn't appeal to me. Naruto knows Shadow Clone jutsu because I was too lazy to change him from a goofball. Hinata seems weak because she was fighting a highly experence Jonniin and i wanted to emphize teamwork.

Not weak like that, weak minded.

She obeys a fox that will eventually betray her and destroy her family and villian as she watches in the cage that once held him. She is a weak minded person who should die. I like your story but I hate Hinata in your story. You plan to write anymore??? i'll deifantly read more.

It may seem that way but as the author, I know every plot twist. I'll let you in on a secret, rember how she stood up to and beat him in chapter 2? She earned his respect that day so he won't betray her. I plan to go to go through Shippunden but i can't get on the computer with the file. How were my battle scences.
Top
hellbentnow
Posted: Jan 21 2008, 02:11 AM


The Manga Maniac of Haven


Group: Members
Posts: 538
Member No.: 19
Joined: 13-January 08



QUOTE (Guardian Of Nesh @ Jan 21 2008, 02:10 AM)
QUOTE (hellbentnow @ Jan 21 2008, 01:53 AM)
QUOTE (Guardian Of Nesh @ Jan 21 2008, 01:40 AM)
QUOTE (hellbentnow @ Jan 21 2008, 01:35 AM)
hmm. Hinata should be stronger. I prefer Naruto with the fox but yours is great. I'm now read chap 5. Hinata is a weak %!#ch. And Naruto shouldn't know how to do Shadow clone jutsu.  And i love the idea with Hinata and Naruto, i guess you like Kiba more huh?

It's not that I like Kiba more, it's that Naruhina doesn't appeal to me. Naruto knows Shadow Clone jutsu because I was too lazy to change him from a goofball. Hinata seems weak because she was fighting a highly experence Jonniin and i wanted to emphize teamwork.

Not weak like that, weak minded.

She obeys a fox that will eventually betray her and destroy her family and villian as she watches in the cage that once held him. She is a weak minded person who should die. I like your story but I hate Hinata in your story. You plan to write anymore??? i'll deifantly read more.

It may seem that way but as the author, I know every plot twist. I'll let you in on a secret, rember how she stood up to and beat him in chapter 2? She earned his respect that day so he won't betray her. I plan to go to go through Shippunden but i can't get on the computer with the file. How were my battle scences.

Everything was over all good.


--------------------
And I say HEY! (HEY!)
What a wonderful kind of day
If we can learn to work and play
And get along with each other.
Hey what a wonderful kind of day hey!
Top
Guardian Of Nesh
Posted: Jan 21 2008, 02:21 AM


Unregistered









QUOTE (hellbentnow @ Jan 21 2008, 02:11 AM)
QUOTE (Guardian Of Nesh @ Jan 21 2008, 02:10 AM)
QUOTE (hellbentnow @ Jan 21 2008, 01:53 AM)
QUOTE (Guardian Of Nesh @ Jan 21 2008, 01:40 AM)
QUOTE (hellbentnow @ Jan 21 2008, 01:35 AM)
hmm. Hinata should be stronger. I prefer Naruto with the fox but yours is great. I'm now read chap 5. Hinata is a weak %!#ch. And Naruto shouldn't know how to do Shadow clone jutsu.  And i love the idea with Hinata and Naruto, i guess you like Kiba more huh?

It's not that I like Kiba more, it's that Naruhina doesn't appeal to me. Naruto knows Shadow Clone jutsu because I was too lazy to change him from a goofball. Hinata seems weak because she was fighting a highly experence Jonniin and i wanted to emphize teamwork.

Not weak like that, weak minded.

She obeys a fox that will eventually betray her and destroy her family and villian as she watches in the cage that once held him. She is a weak minded person who should die. I like your story but I hate Hinata in your story. You plan to write anymore??? i'll deifantly read more.

It may seem that way but as the author, I know every plot twist. I'll let you in on a secret, rember how she stood up to and beat him in chapter 2? She earned his respect that day so he won't betray her. I plan to go to go through Shippunden but i can't get on the computer with the file. How were my battle scences.

Everything was over all good.

Can you guess which character will take Sasuke's place with Orochimaru?
Top
Link28689
Posted: Jan 21 2008, 04:52 AM


Member


Group: Members
Posts: 20
Member No.: 28
Joined: 19-January 08



QUOTE (DataSnake @ Jan 21 2008, 12:51 AM)
QUOTE (Guardian Of Nesh @ Jan 21 2008, 12:17 AM)
Here's the link:
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3796603/1/White_Eyed_Fox
Only comment if you know the Naruto stroyline.

... blink.gif
I thought "Hinata" was a manga about a guy who inherits an all-girls boarding house?

You're thinking "Love Hina", and also there's a girl that looks just like Hinata.


--------------------
Points:


"Patients always want proof. We're not making cars here, we don't give guarantees."

"What would you prefer - a doctor who holds your hand while you die or one who ignores you while you get better? I suppose it would particularly suck to have a doctor who ignores you while you die."

"Like I always say, there's no "I" in "team." There is a "me," though, if you jumble it up."
Top
Guardian Of Nesh
Posted: Feb 6 2008, 12:30 AM


Unregistered









QUOTE (hellbentnow @ Jan 21 2008, 02:11 AM)
QUOTE (Guardian Of Nesh @ Jan 21 2008, 02:10 AM)
QUOTE (hellbentnow @ Jan 21 2008, 01:53 AM)
QUOTE (Guardian Of Nesh @ Jan 21 2008, 01:40 AM)
QUOTE (hellbentnow @ Jan 21 2008, 01:35 AM)
hmm. Hinata should be stronger. I prefer Naruto with the fox but yours is great. I'm now read chap 5. Hinata is a weak %!#ch. And Naruto shouldn't know how to do Shadow clone jutsu.  And i love the idea with Hinata and Naruto, i guess you like Kiba more huh?

It's not that I like Kiba more, it's that Naruhina doesn't appeal to me. Naruto knows Shadow Clone jutsu because I was too lazy to change him from a goofball. Hinata seems weak because she was fighting a highly experence Jonniin and i wanted to emphize teamwork.

Not weak like that, weak minded.

She obeys a fox that will eventually betray her and destroy her family and villian as she watches in the cage that once held him. She is a weak minded person who should die. I like your story but I hate Hinata in your story. You plan to write anymore??? i'll deifantly read more.

It may seem that way but as the author, I know every plot twist. I'll let you in on a secret, rember how she stood up to and beat him in chapter 2? She earned his respect that day so he won't betray her. I plan to go to go through Shippunden but i can't get on the computer with the file. How were my battle scences.

Everything was over all good.

I posted some new chapters.
Top
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