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 My first Predator match
granobulax
Posted: Sep 4 2008, 02:57 AM


He's even got his hand over where I live...


Group: Admin
Posts: 7,880
Member No.: 35
Joined: 31-May 08



This was my first Predator match that I had ever posted on CBUB. I was wondering what everyone here thought about it.

A young Yautja had managed to kill his first xenomorph and was currently on one knee, being branded on the forehead with the blood of the vile alien. The Lulij Ki'dte clan marked their newest young blood with the symbol of their clan. The symbol that was seared into the flesh of Kainde Dtai'k-de was in the shape of a scythe with three thorns sticking out of it. The elder of the clan, Hulij-bpe H'dlak, looked down in admiration of his newest and youngest clan member. "Rise, young blood. You must rest after facing such a trial." Spoke Hulij-bpe H'dlak. Kainde Dtai'k-de looked up at the elder, the pain from the inflicted wounds from the xenomorph and the searing from the alien blood on his forehead seemingly melted away. Kainde Dtai'k-de closed his soft amber eyes, nodded his head in respect of the elder, and left to rest in his living quarters.

The next day, Kainde Dtai'k-de felt refreshed and was in the best mood of his life. The hunt to him was like a high, once he had his first trophy, he wanted more. The confident and ambitious young blood wanted a new mission, a worthy prey to hunt. He wanted to gain even more admiration in the eyes of the elder. Kainde approached Hulij-bpe the following day, "Elder Hulij-bpe H'dlak, I formally request that I may hunt on the planet earth. Many Oomans are worthy opponents for a young blood such as myself. " Kainde said in their language of growls, clicks, and chirps. Hulij-bpe smiled in the way only Yautja can and responded with, "So rarely do I see a young blood with such ambition! Usually, the Unbloods die during the ritual and the ones that survive take at least a short time before becoming addicted to the hunt. I have respect for your request and I shall grant your request. Go now, to the city of 'New York' on the planet earth. There you will find a vast assortment of worthy opponents to choose from." As Hullij-bpe spoke to Kainde, he looked into those soft, youthful, amber eyes and thought to himself how much this young blood reminded him of himself when he was young...

The spacecraft landed in the waters of the Atlantic, just off shore of New York. Arming himself with plasma castors, wrist blades, smart disks, a combat staff, a self destruct mechanism, armor, and bio helmet, he cloaked himself and traversed into New York unnoticed.

For several days, Kainde Dtai'k spent his time studying his prey. There seemed to be no worthy prey in this city until one night, nearly a week after setting foot in New York. While jumping from rooftop to rooftop, Kainde noticed a female of the Ooman species being attacked by a male in a filthy alleyway. The man was quite large for a Ooman and he was being dishonorable by assaulting a female far smaller than him. Kainde lept off the top of the three story building and with surprising agility, landed softly nest to the man. "What the hell was that?" the man said when he heard a soft thud next to him. The new blood turned off his cloaking device and made himself known. The Ooman was easily six feet, nine inches tall but the Yautja towered over him at a staggering seven feet, three inches tall. Kainde grabbed the man by the neck and lifted him bodily off the ground while the woman got away.

"Hey ugly, put the man down!" came a voice from down the alley. Kainde looked at the unworthy prey in his hand and threw him twenty five feet down the alley. When the man stood up to run, a bow staff came out of the darkness and collided with the criminals head. "Yeah, don't think we didn't see what you'd done either." Came another voice. Four figures stepped out of the shadows into the street light. The creatures before Kainde were not ooman at all, but rather reptilian of sorts. Kainde searched the databanks in his mask for the most similar creature on this planet. The search resulted in turtles. These were no mere reptile, he thought to himself. The four wore different colors and bore different weapons. One had a pair of Katanas, another had a pair of nunchaku, the one in purple had a bo staff, and the last one had a pair of sai. Finally, worthy opponents Kainde thought to himself. These warriors fight with no guns, so Kainde took off his plasma castors and set them aside. The smart discs would have to go as well he thought and set those to the side too. All the Yautja would be using for this battle against admirable prey would be his wrist blades and his combat staff.

"So, thanks for catching that man for us. He's a member of the Foot Clan that we've been tracking for a few days now and......" Leonardo was saying before Kainde took off his bio helmet and let out a roar. Michelangelo gasped and said "Woah dude! He looks like he's part crab! Aww, now I'm hungry..."

Just then, Kainde raced towards the ninja turtles intent on gaining four new extravagant trophies to impress even the elder of his clan.

The Yautja has been trained in many martial arts by Hulij-bpe H'dlak himself and is a skilled hand to hand fighter.

The Ninja Turtles each have their own personality and are masters of their respective fighting styles.

Can the Yautja manage to impress the elder of his clan with four turtle skulls? Or will the skills and teamwork of the ninja turtles prove too much?



--------------------
Points:


I scare little kids.
user posted image

QUOTE (treacherous @ Aug 16 2008, 12:12 PM)
RRRAOAAOAOAORRARRAA!!...  Blue lights and sirens rang through the night!! Yeah, they all wanna kill each other... HERE ME CITY!! THE STREETS BELONG TO THE GANGS NOW!! THIS IS THE NEW ORDER!! PREPARE FOR CHAOS!!

Solomon and I may be gangsta, but treach is the gangsta of the year!
Top
AVP vs Star Wars
Posted: Sep 4 2008, 01:00 PM


Unregistered









QUOTE (granobulax @ Sep 4 2008, 02:57 AM)
This was my first Predator match that I had ever posted on CBUB. I was wondering what everyone here thought about it.

A young Yautja had managed to kill his first xenomorph and was currently on one knee, being branded on the forehead with the blood of the vile alien. The Lulij Ki'dte clan marked their newest young blood with the symbol of their clan. The symbol that was seared into the flesh of Kainde Dtai'k-de was in the shape of a scythe with three thorns sticking out of it. The elder of the clan, Hulij-bpe H'dlak, looked down in admiration of his newest and youngest clan member. "Rise, young blood. You must rest after facing such a trial." Spoke Hulij-bpe H'dlak. Kainde Dtai'k-de looked up at the elder, the pain from the inflicted wounds from the xenomorph and the searing from the alien blood on his forehead seemingly melted away. Kainde Dtai'k-de closed his soft amber eyes, nodded his head in respect of the elder, and left to rest in his living quarters.

The next day, Kainde Dtai'k-de felt refreshed and was in the best mood of his life. The hunt to him was like a high, once he had his first trophy, he wanted more. The confident and ambitious young blood wanted a new mission, a worthy prey to hunt. He wanted to gain even more admiration in the eyes of the elder. Kainde approached Hulij-bpe the following day, "Elder Hulij-bpe H'dlak, I formally request that I may hunt on the planet earth. Many Oomans are worthy opponents for a young blood such as myself. " Kainde said in their language of growls, clicks, and chirps. Hulij-bpe smiled in the way only Yautja can and responded with, "So rarely do I see a young blood with such ambition! Usually, the Unbloods die during the ritual and the ones that survive take at least a short time before becoming addicted to the hunt. I have respect for your request and I shall grant your request. Go now, to the city of 'New York' on the planet earth. There you will find a vast assortment of worthy opponents to choose from." As Hullij-bpe spoke to Kainde, he looked into those soft, youthful, amber eyes and thought to himself how much this young blood reminded him of himself when he was young...

The spacecraft landed in the waters of the Atlantic, just off shore of New York. Arming himself with plasma castors, wrist blades, smart disks, a combat staff, a self destruct mechanism, armor, and bio helmet, he cloaked himself and traversed into New York unnoticed.

For several days, Kainde Dtai'k spent his time studying his prey. There seemed to be no worthy prey in this city until one night, nearly a week after setting foot in New York. While jumping from rooftop to rooftop, Kainde noticed a female of the Ooman species being attacked by a male in a filthy alleyway. The man was quite large for a Ooman and he was being dishonorable by assaulting a female far smaller than him. Kainde lept off the top of the three story building and with surprising agility, landed softly nest to the man. "What the hell was that?" the man said when he heard a soft thud next to him. The new blood turned off his cloaking device and made himself known. The Ooman was easily six feet, nine inches tall but the Yautja towered over him at a staggering seven feet, three inches tall. Kainde grabbed the man by the neck and lifted him bodily off the ground while the woman got away.

"Hey ugly, put the man down!" came a voice from down the alley. Kainde looked at the unworthy prey in his hand and threw him twenty five feet down the alley. When the man stood up to run, a bow staff came out of the darkness and collided with the criminals head. "Yeah, don't think we didn't see what you'd done either." Came another voice. Four figures stepped out of the shadows into the street light. The creatures before Kainde were not ooman at all, but rather reptilian of sorts. Kainde searched the databanks in his mask for the most similar creature on this planet. The search resulted in turtles. These were no mere reptile, he thought to himself. The four wore different colors and bore different weapons. One had a pair of Katanas, another had a pair of nunchaku, the one in purple had a bo staff, and the last one had a pair of sai. Finally, worthy opponents Kainde thought to himself. These warriors fight with no guns, so Kainde took off his plasma castors and set them aside. The smart discs would have to go as well he thought and set those to the side too. All the Yautja would be using for this battle against admirable prey would be his wrist blades and his combat staff.

"So, thanks for catching that man for us. He's a member of the Foot Clan that we've been tracking for a few days now and......" Leonardo was saying before Kainde took off his bio helmet and let out a roar. Michelangelo gasped and said "Woah dude! He looks like he's part crab! Aww, now I'm hungry..."

Just then, Kainde raced towards the ninja turtles intent on gaining four new extravagant trophies to impress even the elder of his clan.

The Yautja has been trained in many martial arts by Hulij-bpe H'dlak himself and is a skilled hand to hand fighter.

The Ninja Turtles each have their own personality and are masters of their respective fighting styles.

Can the Yautja manage to impress the elder of his clan with four turtle skulls? Or will the skills and teamwork of the ninja turtles prove too much?

I know its a high class Pred and everything, but I think the only Predator that would stand a chance against the Turtles is Hulij-bpe or H'dlak
Top
granobulax
Posted: Sep 4 2008, 04:06 PM


He's even got his hand over where I live...


Group: Admin
Posts: 7,880
Member No.: 35
Joined: 31-May 08



QUOTE (AVP vs Star Wars @ Sep 4 2008, 01:00 PM)
QUOTE (granobulax @ Sep 4 2008, 02:57 AM)
This was my first Predator match that I had ever posted on CBUB. I was wondering what everyone here thought about it.

A young Yautja had managed to kill his first xenomorph and was currently on one knee, being branded on the forehead with the blood of the vile alien. The Lulij Ki'dte clan marked their newest young blood with the symbol of their clan. The symbol that was seared into the flesh of Kainde Dtai'k-de was in the shape of a scythe with three thorns sticking out of it. The elder of the clan, Hulij-bpe H'dlak, looked down in admiration of his newest and youngest clan member. "Rise, young blood. You must rest after facing such a trial." Spoke Hulij-bpe H'dlak. Kainde Dtai'k-de looked up at the elder, the pain from the inflicted wounds from the xenomorph and the searing from the alien blood on his forehead seemingly melted away. Kainde Dtai'k-de closed his soft amber eyes, nodded his head in respect of the elder, and left to rest in his living quarters.

The next day, Kainde Dtai'k-de felt refreshed and was in the best mood of his life. The hunt to him was like a high, once he had his first trophy, he wanted more. The confident and ambitious young blood wanted a new mission, a worthy prey to hunt. He wanted to gain even more admiration in the eyes of the elder. Kainde approached Hulij-bpe the following day, "Elder Hulij-bpe H'dlak, I formally request that I may hunt on the planet earth. Many Oomans are worthy opponents for a young blood such as myself. " Kainde said in their language of growls, clicks, and chirps. Hulij-bpe smiled in the way only Yautja can and responded with, "So rarely do I see a young blood with such ambition! Usually, the Unbloods die during the ritual and the ones that survive take at least a short time before becoming addicted to the hunt. I have respect for your request and I shall grant your request. Go now, to the city of 'New York' on the planet earth. There you will find a vast assortment of worthy opponents to choose from." As Hullij-bpe spoke to Kainde, he looked into those soft, youthful, amber eyes and thought to himself how much this young blood reminded him of himself when he was young...

The spacecraft landed in the waters of the Atlantic, just off shore of New York. Arming himself with plasma castors, wrist blades, smart disks, a combat staff, a self destruct mechanism, armor, and bio helmet, he cloaked himself and traversed into New York unnoticed.

For several days, Kainde Dtai'k spent his time studying his prey. There seemed to be no worthy prey in this city until one night, nearly a week after setting foot in New York. While jumping from rooftop to rooftop, Kainde noticed a female of the Ooman species being attacked by a male in a filthy alleyway. The man was quite large for a Ooman and he was being dishonorable by assaulting a female far smaller than him. Kainde lept off the top of the three story building and with surprising agility, landed softly nest to the man. "What the hell was that?" the man said when he heard a soft thud next to him. The new blood turned off his cloaking device and made himself known. The Ooman was easily six feet, nine inches tall but the Yautja towered over him at a staggering seven feet, three inches tall. Kainde grabbed the man by the neck and lifted him bodily off the ground while the woman got away.

"Hey ugly, put the man down!" came a voice from down the alley. Kainde looked at the unworthy prey in his hand and threw him twenty five feet down the alley. When the man stood up to run, a bow staff came out of the darkness and collided with the criminals head. "Yeah, don't think we didn't see what you'd done either." Came another voice. Four figures stepped out of the shadows into the street light. The creatures before Kainde were not ooman at all, but rather reptilian of sorts. Kainde searched the databanks in his mask for the most similar creature on this planet. The search resulted in turtles. These were no mere reptile, he thought to himself. The four wore different colors and bore different weapons. One had a pair of Katanas, another had a pair of nunchaku, the one in purple had a bo staff, and the last one had a pair of sai. Finally, worthy opponents Kainde thought to himself. These warriors fight with no guns, so Kainde took off his plasma castors and set them aside. The smart discs would have to go as well he thought and set those to the side too. All the Yautja would be using for this battle against admirable prey would be his wrist blades and his combat staff.

"So, thanks for catching that man for us. He's a member of the Foot Clan that we've been tracking for a few days now and......" Leonardo was saying before Kainde took off his bio helmet and let out a roar. Michelangelo gasped and said "Woah dude! He looks like he's part crab! Aww, now I'm hungry..."

Just then, Kainde raced towards the ninja turtles intent on gaining four new extravagant trophies to impress even the elder of his clan.

The Yautja has been trained in many martial arts by Hulij-bpe H'dlak himself and is a skilled hand to hand fighter.

The Ninja Turtles each have their own personality and are masters of their respective fighting styles.

Can the Yautja manage to impress the elder of his clan with four turtle skulls? Or will the skills and teamwork of the ninja turtles prove too much?

I know its a high class Pred and everything, but I think the only Predator that would stand a chance against the Turtles is Hulij-bpe or H'dlak

Well, Hulij-Bpe H'Dlak in my story arc is one Yautja, the elder of the clan.

Kainde is the main character in this arc and he was personally trained by the elder so he's quite skilled for a young blood.

Anyways, I hope you liked it. Check out my other Predator match and let me know what you think of the TMNT's demise lol.


--------------------
Points:


I scare little kids.
user posted image

QUOTE (treacherous @ Aug 16 2008, 12:12 PM)
RRRAOAAOAOAORRARRAA!!...  Blue lights and sirens rang through the night!! Yeah, they all wanna kill each other... HERE ME CITY!! THE STREETS BELONG TO THE GANGS NOW!! THIS IS THE NEW ORDER!! PREPARE FOR CHAOS!!

Solomon and I may be gangsta, but treach is the gangsta of the year!
Top
super_wolverine_Man
Posted: Sep 4 2008, 07:16 PM


Head Admin


Group: Admin
Posts: 7,680
Member No.: 3
Joined: 9-January 08



Hmmmm it probably doesn't help that i know absolutely nothing about Predator, but i will try to look at it from a literary stand point.


--------------------

Points:

"The first shot rang out from somewhere and I heard a bullet wiz by my face. With my pump action shotgun ready, I shoot the first fool I see."

Grano's so gangster.
Top
super_wolverine_Man
Posted: Sep 4 2008, 07:24 PM


Head Admin


Group: Admin
Posts: 7,680
Member No.: 3
Joined: 9-January 08



Allow me to quickly analyze this.

The Good: I thought your story was excellent. It was imaginitive and your characterizations were spot on. You've given a great look through the eyes of The Predator, and like so many other great writers you were able to change your "voice" to fit with your characters.

The bad: All through this story i was wondering, what is this character thinking? Sure there was plenty of dialogue, but what was the character actually thinking? What was Kainde Dtai'k-de thinking as he left his home world to combat foes in the mysterious planet of earth? What were the thought of the turtles when they saw this strange creature.


All in all great work man.


--------------------

Points:

"The first shot rang out from somewhere and I heard a bullet wiz by my face. With my pump action shotgun ready, I shoot the first fool I see."

Grano's so gangster.
Top
Bloody_Freak
Posted: Sep 4 2008, 07:26 PM


Fiction God


Group: Members
Posts: 2,623
Member No.: 33
Joined: 12-March 08



Hey that's my predator's name! :-O

Always loved this fight, wish I had the Turtle's skulls, those are some very fine trophies.

What ever happened to this Predator?


--------------------
Points:
Top
granobulax
Posted: Sep 4 2008, 09:21 PM


He's even got his hand over where I live...


Group: Admin
Posts: 7,880
Member No.: 35
Joined: 31-May 08



QUOTE (super_wolverine_Man @ Sep 4 2008, 07:24 PM)
Allow me to quickly analyze this.

The Good: I thought your story was excellent. It was imaginitive and your characterizations were spot on. You've given a great look through the eyes of The Predator, and like so many other great writers you were able to change your "voice" to fit with your characters.

The bad: All through this story i was wondering, what is this character thinking? Sure there was plenty of dialogue, but what was the character actually thinking? What was Kainde Dtai'k-de thinking as he left his home world to combat foes in the mysterious planet of earth? What were the thought of the turtles when they saw this strange creature.


All in all great work man.

Thanks for the constructive criticism Wolvie. I'll try to involve my characters thoughts more often in the future (That is, if I ever find the time to write again lol). I wish you knew a little bit more about Predators though... biggrin.gif


--------------------
Points:


I scare little kids.
user posted image

QUOTE (treacherous @ Aug 16 2008, 12:12 PM)
RRRAOAAOAOAORRARRAA!!...  Blue lights and sirens rang through the night!! Yeah, they all wanna kill each other... HERE ME CITY!! THE STREETS BELONG TO THE GANGS NOW!! THIS IS THE NEW ORDER!! PREPARE FOR CHAOS!!

Solomon and I may be gangsta, but treach is the gangsta of the year!
Top
granobulax
Posted: Sep 4 2008, 09:27 PM


He's even got his hand over where I live...


Group: Admin
Posts: 7,880
Member No.: 35
Joined: 31-May 08



QUOTE (Bloody_Freak @ Sep 4 2008, 07:26 PM)
Hey that's my predator's name! :-O

Always loved this fight, wish I had the Turtle's skulls, those are some very fine trophies.

What ever happened to this Predator?

Of course that's your Predators name lol laugh.gif

Don't you remember that I gave you your Predators name? I knew I wasn't going to continue with Kainde so I thought the elders name was cool and I suggested that name to you, Hulij-Bpe. I used the other half of the elders name for one of my characters, H'Dlak.

We both have Pred names that originated from the same elder biggrin.gif


--------------------
Points:


I scare little kids.
user posted image

QUOTE (treacherous @ Aug 16 2008, 12:12 PM)
RRRAOAAOAOAORRARRAA!!...  Blue lights and sirens rang through the night!! Yeah, they all wanna kill each other... HERE ME CITY!! THE STREETS BELONG TO THE GANGS NOW!! THIS IS THE NEW ORDER!! PREPARE FOR CHAOS!!

Solomon and I may be gangsta, but treach is the gangsta of the year!
Top
Bassetman
Posted: Sep 4 2008, 10:11 PM


Gentleman Skeleton


Group: Admin
Posts: 4,701
Member No.: 20
Joined: 14-January 08



I thought this was very nice. Excellently written.

7'3 Pred!? They get that big?!


--------------------
Top
granobulax
Posted: Sep 4 2008, 10:17 PM


He's even got his hand over where I live...


Group: Admin
Posts: 7,880
Member No.: 35
Joined: 31-May 08



QUOTE (Bassetman @ Sep 4 2008, 10:11 PM)
I thought this was very nice. Excellently written.

7'3 Pred!? They get that big?!

Yep. And the strongest ones can lift up to 20 tonnes!!! ohmy.gif


--------------------
Points:


I scare little kids.
user posted image

QUOTE (treacherous @ Aug 16 2008, 12:12 PM)
RRRAOAAOAOAORRARRAA!!...  Blue lights and sirens rang through the night!! Yeah, they all wanna kill each other... HERE ME CITY!! THE STREETS BELONG TO THE GANGS NOW!! THIS IS THE NEW ORDER!! PREPARE FOR CHAOS!!

Solomon and I may be gangsta, but treach is the gangsta of the year!
Top
granobulax
Posted: Sep 4 2008, 10:18 PM


He's even got his hand over where I live...


Group: Admin
Posts: 7,880
Member No.: 35
Joined: 31-May 08



Anyone who wants to read how this match went down, read "My second Predator match" in Normal Fights. biggrin.gif


--------------------
Points:


I scare little kids.
user posted image

QUOTE (treacherous @ Aug 16 2008, 12:12 PM)
RRRAOAAOAOAORRARRAA!!...  Blue lights and sirens rang through the night!! Yeah, they all wanna kill each other... HERE ME CITY!! THE STREETS BELONG TO THE GANGS NOW!! THIS IS THE NEW ORDER!! PREPARE FOR CHAOS!!

Solomon and I may be gangsta, but treach is the gangsta of the year!
Top
Bassetman
Posted: Sep 4 2008, 10:19 PM


Gentleman Skeleton


Group: Admin
Posts: 4,701
Member No.: 20
Joined: 14-January 08



I needs me one of those.

And I remember hearing you have one as a girlfriend? ohmy.gif


--------------------
Top
granobulax
Posted: Sep 4 2008, 10:21 PM


He's even got his hand over where I live...


Group: Admin
Posts: 7,880
Member No.: 35
Joined: 31-May 08



QUOTE (granobulax @ Sep 4 2008, 10:18 PM)
Anyone who wants to read how this match went down, read "My second Predator match" in Normal Fights. biggrin.gif

No, I don't have one as a girlfriend. angry.gif

I wrote a female Predator arc though! biggrin.gif


--------------------
Points:


I scare little kids.
user posted image

QUOTE (treacherous @ Aug 16 2008, 12:12 PM)
RRRAOAAOAOAORRARRAA!!...  Blue lights and sirens rang through the night!! Yeah, they all wanna kill each other... HERE ME CITY!! THE STREETS BELONG TO THE GANGS NOW!! THIS IS THE NEW ORDER!! PREPARE FOR CHAOS!!

Solomon and I may be gangsta, but treach is the gangsta of the year!
Top
granobulax
Posted: Sep 4 2008, 10:21 PM


He's even got his hand over where I live...


Group: Admin
Posts: 7,880
Member No.: 35
Joined: 31-May 08



QUOTE (granobulax @ Sep 4 2008, 10:21 PM)
QUOTE (granobulax @ Sep 4 2008, 10:18 PM)
Anyone who wants to read how this match went down, read "My second Predator match" in Normal Fights. biggrin.gif

No, I don't have one as a girlfriend. angry.gif

I wrote a female Predator arc though! biggrin.gif

Oops! I quoted the wrong thing laugh.gif


--------------------
Points:


I scare little kids.
user posted image

QUOTE (treacherous @ Aug 16 2008, 12:12 PM)
RRRAOAAOAOAORRARRAA!!...  Blue lights and sirens rang through the night!! Yeah, they all wanna kill each other... HERE ME CITY!! THE STREETS BELONG TO THE GANGS NOW!! THIS IS THE NEW ORDER!! PREPARE FOR CHAOS!!

Solomon and I may be gangsta, but treach is the gangsta of the year!
Top
Bassetman
Posted: Sep 4 2008, 10:29 PM


Gentleman Skeleton


Group: Admin
Posts: 4,701
Member No.: 20
Joined: 14-January 08



The one that Chompy wants to date?


--------------------
Top
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