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 Goldstein's Test (Eris vs. Pinocchio on CBUB)
 
can he pass?
Goldstein passes [ 0 ]  [0.00%]
Goldstein fails [ 0 ]  [0.00%]
Too tough to call [ 2 ]  [100.00%]
Total Votes: 2
Guests cannot vote 
Phalanx
Posted on Aug 18 2008, 03:43 AM


Okami... Best Wii game I've played so far!


Group: Admin
Posts: 2,139
Member No.: 1
Joined: 6-January 08



((This takes place after Harold & Kumar vs. Ermac and this match has nothing to do with pinocchio but rather Goldstein taking a similar role and I don't know much about ghostface, so please no "he's out of character" critisms and the whole challenge goldstein's going through doesn't have to be 100% accurate just a heads-up))

While their challenges by ND4 were given to Harold and Kumar, here's what happened:

Challenge 1: Kill Ghostface

Kumar: OH MY GOD HE'S GOING TO THREATEN TO FUCKING KILL US!

Harold: Yeah I'd rather be back in Guantanamo Bay right now! Although sucking Big Bob's dick was still worse or just as bad as Ghostface trying to hunt us down!

Ghostface: I'm going to hunt you both down!

Harold: Dude forget, I'm too scared to kill this psycho.

The duo finally escaped the clutches of Ghostface.

Result: Fail

Challenge 2: Drink 12 Beers

Harold and Kumar were at a bar and decided to go in a beer-chugging contest.

12 beers per person was set on the wooden table.

5 hours later

Harold and Kumar could barely finish 5 beers as it seems.

Kumar: Fuck I think I'm going to have a hangover.

Harold: No shit. This is why I'm more of a smoker!

Harold and Kumar puked outside the bar and onto a hobo.

Hobo: HEY! WATCH IT!

Result: Failed

Challenge 3: Make Chompy Happy

Harold and Kumar were inside a super mario bros. level with no clue of how they got there, except they thought eris sent them there.

Harold: My god, isn't that fucking chompy from super mario bros. 3 and world?

Kumar: Yeah.

Harold: But the guy says we need to make him happy.

Kumar: Dude didn't you see Night at the Museum? Ben Stiller won over that living dinosaur skeleton by letting him play with a bone attached to a remote controlled car.

Harold: Oh yeah.

Chompy: *growls*

Harold: God, that was close it almost bite me.

Kumar: Look there's a green pipe over there. Let's let him play with it.

Harold took one and threw it at chompy for it to bite on.

Chompy: *plays with the pipe*

Harold: Now let's give it some weed, ok?

Kumar: Let him get high.

Harold and Kumar lit up their weed and had Chompy inhale the smoke.

Chompy got high and he was really happy. Harold and Kumar were nice enough to somehow find a lifetime supply of weed along with a fire flower (to smoke the weed) for chompy to enjoy.

Result: Success

Harold and Kumar finally got transported back to their neighborhood street and met ND4.

ND4: Boys, it looks you two only managed to pass one out of three of my challenges. You boys must now give Goldstein the master ball with Mewtwo inside.

Harold: Damn it.

Kumar: Oh well. We didn't care that much for it anyway.

ND4: So long gentlemen.

ND4 left the street and departed from Hoboken, New Jersey.

Harold and Kumar preceded to go to Goldstein's apartment room and give him his little present.

Harold: Hey Goldstein, we bought you a little something as a gift.

Goldstein: Wow a masterball? Damn I haven't had one like these since I was in third grade!

Kumar: Ok enjoy it. Now if you'll excuse us, we've got to get packing for amsterdam next week.

Now that goldstein has acquired the special masterball from the duo, little did he know that Mewtwo was inside.

Then Goldstein got really bored one night and decided to either call Cindy Kim over to have a "good time" or fap to a load of his playboy magazines.

When Goldstein was about to grab the phone and his stack of magazines at the same time, a friendly magical cartoon cricket popped up out of nowhere in front of Goldstein's face.

???: Hello, goldstein.

Goldstein gasped: How did you know my name?

???: Well I'm Jiminy Cricket silly. I have seen you sometimes.

Goldstein: Woah you're that little homo insect from that old disney film, pinocchio right?

Jiminy: That's correct and I'm here to re-educate you on how you should control and discipline your lustful desires, so you may become a more decent and likeable man when you get out of college.

Goldstein: Oh jesus, you're not one of them fundamentalist Roman Catholics, aren't you? God do they scare the hell out of me.

Jiminy: Hey buddy, I'm just a little cricket acting as your conscience. I know as a man who's just above his teen years and about to enter the adult age can really hold an inevitable natural urge for beautiful women, but you see the peers at your school are taking it too far sometimes and I'm not saying you should never have sex, but rather you do things the appropriate way and time.

Goldstein: Okay whatever. So cricket-boy, how are you going to expect to change me?

Jiminy: Simple, I'll let you go through a test in where you have to try to give up sex and suppress the active pursuit for your lustful ways like an animal on drugs for two weeks. However I shall pour some magic dust on you to make your heart and mind as pure and innocent as a child for rest of your trial so that it would be easier for you to pass the test.

Goldstein: But what's the catch?

Goldstein: The only catch is that as man with a purified heart (while still retaining your wisdom and knowledge as an adult), you must find a way to resist your urges and act as celibate as possible as you encounter seeing naked women, pictures of them, or any one of them in morally-tabooed places like strip clubs and the second east asian club party coming up in your school.

Goldstein: and...?

Jiminy: And after two weeks, I shall come by your door and ask you how was your test. If you had successfully suppressed your sexual urges for at least half the time, although the second half would be a lot better, you have passed the test. But I'd have to know if you really passed or not by going through a simple lie-detector test in which if you lied to me about your results, your nose grows long like pinocchio's (though the effect would wear how in an hour) and if you didn't lie, your nose stays the same length.

Goldstein: What shall be my rewards?

Jiminy: Your reward is that you get to keep your new masterball in which harold and kumar gave to you as a present and that's not it. You also get something else, but I won't tell you until you passed, though you might get the hint.

Goldstein: and if I fail?

Jiminy: If you had failed to give up sex for more than half your two weeks, I will not only get to hide away your masterball somewhere in your apartment, but you'll forever stay a perverted man and your sex life in the future might be bleaker or at least you'll just suffer spiritual loss, emptiness, and failure.

Goldstein: ...

Jiminy: One last thing. If your peers happened to ask you why you are acting less sexually active as usual, tell them you've become a religious man and make up whatever excuse to cover yourself up and don't ever tell anyone about this test, which is starting about... NOW.

Jiminy Cricket said good bye and vanished out of thin air.

Meanwhile in space, Eris was watching the whole conversation between Goldstein and Jiminy Cricket.

Eris: Oh give up sex eh? Well I'm going to make sure that not only does he not pass his test, but that he will be sure to lose a lot of friends, especially that Cindy Kim, so that way I will cause countless discord in his school and apartment and soon all of New Jersey!

Eris was deviously plotting like the cruel femme fatale she is.

Eris: I know, by the time this mortal tries to resist the beauty of women, I'll do whatever it takes to influence my plotted events to cause him to stray from the path Jiminy's trying to set him on. I know I hate men sometimes, but i just love to torture them.

--Summary and Rules--

Goldstein must go through two weeks of suppressing his lustful desires from going out of control and learning how to become a more clean man in the future as if he was going through a spiritual transformation, only without any involuntary religious interference.

If he can do this for at least one week straight, he passes the test, gets to keep the masterball, and find out his second reward.

If he should fail, his masterball will be scattered around his apartment seemingly lost from his reach and he'll go through that eventual loss and emptiness jiminy's warned him about.

Goldstein's heart and mind is about as innocent as Pinocchio's in the disney film, but still retains his mature knowledge and wisdom of his environment. Plus he is endowed with relatively strong mental will and determination from the dust, but can still be affected by the hotness of women and anything related to sex.

Eris participates in this match to try and do whatever it takes to lead Goldstein astray and cause as much chaos around him as possible for her pleasure.

Neither Goldstein nor Jiminy Cricket have any knowledge of Eris at all.

Can Goldstein survive this test by any possible means? Or will Eris lead the horny mortal astray?

This fight posted by: Phalanx Blood


--------------------
Top
IonKidMax
  Posted on Aug 19 2008, 06:22 PM


Join the Green Side


Group: Members
Posts: 1,980
Member No.: 40
Joined: 12-June 08



QUOTE (Phalanx @ Aug 18 2008, 03:43 AM)
((This takes place after Harold & Kumar vs. Ermac and this match has nothing to do with pinocchio but rather Goldstein taking a similar role and I don't know much about ghostface, so please no "he's out of character" critisms and the whole challenge goldstein's going through doesn't have to be 100% accurate just a heads-up))

While their challenges by ND4 were given to Harold and Kumar, here's what happened:

Challenge 1: Kill Ghostface

Kumar: OH MY GOD HE'S GOING TO THREATEN TO FUCKING KILL US!

Harold: Yeah I'd rather be back in Guantanamo Bay right now! Although sucking Big Bob's dick was still worse or just as bad as Ghostface trying to hunt us down!

Ghostface: I'm going to hunt you both down!

Harold: Dude forget, I'm too scared to kill this psycho.

The duo finally escaped the clutches of Ghostface.

Result: Fail

Challenge 2: Drink 12 Beers

Harold and Kumar were at a bar and decided to go in a beer-chugging contest.

12 beers per person was set on the wooden table.

5 hours later

Harold and Kumar could barely finish 5 beers as it seems.

Kumar: Fuck I think I'm going to have a hangover.

Harold: No shit. This is why I'm more of a smoker!

Harold and Kumar puked outside the bar and onto a hobo.

Hobo: HEY! WATCH IT!

Result: Failed

Challenge 3: Make Chompy Happy

Harold and Kumar were inside a super mario bros. level with no clue of how they got there, except they thought eris sent them there.

Harold: My god, isn't that fucking chompy from super mario bros. 3 and world?

Kumar: Yeah.

Harold: But the guy says we need to make him happy.

Kumar: Dude didn't you see Night at the Museum? Ben Stiller won over that living dinosaur skeleton by letting him play with a bone attached to a remote controlled car.

Harold: Oh yeah.

Chompy: *growls*

Harold: God, that was close it almost bite me.

Kumar: Look there's a green pipe over there. Let's let him play with it.

Harold took one and threw it at chompy for it to bite on.

Chompy: *plays with the pipe*

Harold: Now let's give it some weed, ok?

Kumar: Let him get high.

Harold and Kumar lit up their weed and had Chompy inhale the smoke.

Chompy got high and he was really happy. Harold and Kumar were nice enough to somehow find a lifetime supply of weed along with a fire flower (to smoke the weed) for chompy to enjoy.

Result: Success

Harold and Kumar finally got transported back to their neighborhood street and met ND4.

ND4: Boys, it looks you two only managed to pass one out of three of my challenges. You boys must now give Goldstein the master ball with Mewtwo inside.

Harold: Damn it.

Kumar: Oh well. We didn't care that much for it anyway.

ND4: So long gentlemen.

ND4 left the street and departed from Hoboken, New Jersey.

Harold and Kumar preceded to go to Goldstein's apartment room and give him his little present.

Harold: Hey Goldstein, we bought you a little something as a gift.

Goldstein: Wow a masterball? Damn I haven't had one like these since I was in third grade!

Kumar: Ok enjoy it. Now if you'll excuse us, we've got to get packing for amsterdam next week.

Now that goldstein has acquired the special masterball from the duo, little did he know that Mewtwo was inside.

Then Goldstein got really bored one night and decided to either call Cindy Kim over to have a "good time" or fap to a load of his playboy magazines.

When Goldstein was about to grab the phone and his stack of magazines at the same time, a friendly magical cartoon cricket popped up out of nowhere in front of Goldstein's face.

???: Hello, goldstein.

Goldstein gasped: How did you know my name?

???: Well I'm Jiminy Cricket silly. I have seen you sometimes.

Goldstein: Woah you're that little homo insect from that old disney film, pinocchio right?

Jiminy: That's correct and I'm here to re-educate you on how you should control and discipline your lustful desires, so you may become a more decent and likeable man when you get out of college.

Goldstein: Oh jesus, you're not one of them fundamentalist Roman Catholics, aren't you? God do they scare the hell out of me.

Jiminy: Hey buddy, I'm just a little cricket acting as your conscience. I know as a man who's just above his teen years and about to enter the adult age can really hold an inevitable natural urge for beautiful women, but you see the peers at your school are taking it too far sometimes and I'm not saying you should never have sex, but rather you do things the appropriate way and time.

Goldstein: Okay whatever. So cricket-boy, how are you going to expect to change me?

Jiminy: Simple, I'll let you go through a test in where you have to try to give up sex and suppress the active pursuit for your lustful ways like an animal on drugs for two weeks. However I shall pour some magic dust on you to make your heart and mind as pure and innocent as a child for rest of your trial so that it would be easier for you to pass the test.

Goldstein: But what's the catch?

Goldstein: The only catch is that as man with a purified heart (while still retaining your wisdom and knowledge as an adult), you must find a way to resist your urges and act as celibate as possible as you encounter seeing naked women, pictures of them, or any one of them in morally-tabooed places like strip clubs and the second east asian club party coming up in your school.

Goldstein: and...?

Jiminy: And after two weeks, I shall come by your door and ask you how was your test. If you had successfully suppressed your sexual urges for at least half the time, although the second half would be a lot better, you have passed the test. But I'd have to know if you really passed or not by going through a simple lie-detector test in which if you lied to me about your results, your nose grows long like pinocchio's (though the effect would wear how in an hour) and if you didn't lie, your nose stays the same length.

Goldstein: What shall be my rewards?

Jiminy: Your reward is that you get to keep your new masterball in which harold and kumar gave to you as a present and that's not it. You also get something else, but I won't tell you until you passed, though you might get the hint.

Goldstein: and if I fail?

Jiminy: If you had failed to give up sex for more than half your two weeks, I will not only get to hide away your masterball somewhere in your apartment, but you'll forever stay a perverted man and your sex life in the future might be bleaker or at least you'll just suffer spiritual loss, emptiness, and failure.

Goldstein: ...

Jiminy: One last thing. If your peers happened to ask you why you are acting less sexually active as usual, tell them you've become a religious man and make up whatever excuse to cover yourself up and don't ever tell anyone about this test, which is starting about... NOW.

Jiminy Cricket said good bye and vanished out of thin air.

Meanwhile in space, Eris was watching the whole conversation between Goldstein and Jiminy Cricket.

Eris: Oh give up sex eh? Well I'm going to make sure that not only does he not pass his test, but that he will be sure to lose a lot of friends, especially that Cindy Kim, so that way I will cause countless discord in his school and apartment and soon all of New Jersey!

Eris was deviously plotting like the cruel femme fatale she is.

Eris: I know, by the time this mortal tries to resist the beauty of women, I'll do whatever it takes to influence my plotted events to cause him to stray from the path Jiminy's trying to set him on. I know I hate men sometimes, but i just love to torture them.

--Summary and Rules--

Goldstein must go through two weeks of suppressing his lustful desires from going out of control and learning how to become a more clean man in the future as if he was going through a spiritual transformation, only without any involuntary religious interference.

If he can do this for at least one week straight, he passes the test, gets to keep the masterball, and find out his second reward.

If he should fail, his masterball will be scattered around his apartment seemingly lost from his reach and he'll go through that eventual loss and emptiness jiminy's warned him about.

Goldstein's heart and mind is about as innocent as Pinocchio's in the disney film, but still retains his mature knowledge and wisdom of his environment. Plus he is endowed with relatively strong mental will and determination from the dust, but can still be affected by the hotness of women and anything related to sex.

Eris participates in this match to try and do whatever it takes to lead Goldstein astray and cause as much chaos around him as possible for her pleasure.

Neither Goldstein nor Jiminy Cricket have any knowledge of Eris at all.

Can Goldstein survive this test by any possible means? Or will Eris lead the horny mortal astray?

This fight posted by: Phalanx Blood

Too hard can't say who wins.Good stroy though Phalanx.


--------------------
Points:


user posted image
Top
Phalanx
Posted on Aug 19 2008, 06:34 PM


Okami... Best Wii game I've played so far!


Group: Admin
Posts: 2,139
Member No.: 1
Joined: 6-January 08



QUOTE (IonKidMax @ Aug 19 2008, 06:22 PM)
QUOTE (Phalanx @ Aug 18 2008, 03:43 AM)
((This takes place after Harold & Kumar vs. Ermac and this match has nothing to do with pinocchio but rather Goldstein taking a similar role and I don't know much about ghostface, so please no "he's out of character" critisms and the whole challenge goldstein's going through doesn't have to be 100% accurate just a heads-up))

While their challenges by ND4 were given to Harold and Kumar, here's what happened:

Challenge 1: Kill Ghostface

Kumar: OH MY GOD HE'S GOING TO THREATEN TO FUCKING KILL US!

Harold: Yeah I'd rather be back in Guantanamo Bay right now! Although sucking Big Bob's dick was still worse or just as bad as Ghostface trying to hunt us down!

Ghostface: I'm going to hunt you both down!

Harold: Dude forget, I'm too scared to kill this psycho.

The duo finally escaped the clutches of Ghostface.

Result: Fail

Challenge 2: Drink 12 Beers

Harold and Kumar were at a bar and decided to go in a beer-chugging contest.

12 beers per person was set on the wooden table.

5 hours later

Harold and Kumar could barely finish 5 beers as it seems.

Kumar: Fuck I think I'm going to have a hangover.

Harold: No shit. This is why I'm more of a smoker!

Harold and Kumar puked outside the bar and onto a hobo.

Hobo: HEY! WATCH IT!

Result: Failed

Challenge 3: Make Chompy Happy

Harold and Kumar were inside a super mario bros. level with no clue of how they got there, except they thought eris sent them there.

Harold: My god, isn't that fucking chompy from super mario bros. 3 and world?

Kumar: Yeah.

Harold: But the guy says we need to make him happy.

Kumar: Dude didn't you see Night at the Museum? Ben Stiller won over that living dinosaur skeleton by letting him play with a bone attached to a remote controlled car.

Harold: Oh yeah.

Chompy: *growls*

Harold: God, that was close it almost bite me.

Kumar: Look there's a green pipe over there. Let's let him play with it.

Harold took one and threw it at chompy for it to bite on.

Chompy: *plays with the pipe*

Harold: Now let's give it some weed, ok?

Kumar: Let him get high.

Harold and Kumar lit up their weed and had Chompy inhale the smoke.

Chompy got high and he was really happy. Harold and Kumar were nice enough to somehow find a lifetime supply of weed along with a fire flower (to smoke the weed) for chompy to enjoy.

Result: Success

Harold and Kumar finally got transported back to their neighborhood street and met ND4.

ND4: Boys, it looks you two only managed to pass one out of three of my challenges. You boys must now give Goldstein the master ball with Mewtwo inside.

Harold: Damn it.

Kumar: Oh well. We didn't care that much for it anyway.

ND4: So long gentlemen.

ND4 left the street and departed from Hoboken, New Jersey.

Harold and Kumar preceded to go to Goldstein's apartment room and give him his little present.

Harold: Hey Goldstein, we bought you a little something as a gift.

Goldstein: Wow a masterball? Damn I haven't had one like these since I was in third grade!

Kumar: Ok enjoy it. Now if you'll excuse us, we've got to get packing for amsterdam next week.

Now that goldstein has acquired the special masterball from the duo, little did he know that Mewtwo was inside.

Then Goldstein got really bored one night and decided to either call Cindy Kim over to have a "good time" or fap to a load of his playboy magazines.

When Goldstein was about to grab the phone and his stack of magazines at the same time, a friendly magical cartoon cricket popped up out of nowhere in front of Goldstein's face.

???: Hello, goldstein.

Goldstein gasped: How did you know my name?

???: Well I'm Jiminy Cricket silly. I have seen you sometimes.

Goldstein: Woah you're that little homo insect from that old disney film, pinocchio right?

Jiminy: That's correct and I'm here to re-educate you on how you should control and discipline your lustful desires, so you may become a more decent and likeable man when you get out of college.

Goldstein: Oh jesus, you're not one of them fundamentalist Roman Catholics, aren't you? God do they scare the hell out of me.

Jiminy: Hey buddy, I'm just a little cricket acting as your conscience. I know as a man who's just above his teen years and about to enter the adult age can really hold an inevitable natural urge for beautiful women, but you see the peers at your school are taking it too far sometimes and I'm not saying you should never have sex, but rather you do things the appropriate way and time.

Goldstein: Okay whatever. So cricket-boy, how are you going to expect to change me?

Jiminy: Simple, I'll let you go through a test in where you have to try to give up sex and suppress the active pursuit for your lustful ways like an animal on drugs for two weeks. However I shall pour some magic dust on you to make your heart and mind as pure and innocent as a child for rest of your trial so that it would be easier for you to pass the test.

Goldstein: But what's the catch?

Goldstein: The only catch is that as man with a purified heart (while still retaining your wisdom and knowledge as an adult), you must find a way to resist your urges and act as celibate as possible as you encounter seeing naked women, pictures of them, or any one of them in morally-tabooed places like strip clubs and the second east asian club party coming up in your school.

Goldstein: and...?

Jiminy: And after two weeks, I shall come by your door and ask you how was your test. If you had successfully suppressed your sexual urges for at least half the time, although the second half would be a lot better, you have passed the test. But I'd have to know if you really passed or not by going through a simple lie-detector test in which if you lied to me about your results, your nose grows long like pinocchio's (though the effect would wear how in an hour) and if you didn't lie, your nose stays the same length.

Goldstein: What shall be my rewards?

Jiminy: Your reward is that you get to keep your new masterball in which harold and kumar gave to you as a present and that's not it. You also get something else, but I won't tell you until you passed, though you might get the hint.

Goldstein: and if I fail?

Jiminy: If you had failed to give up sex for more than half your two weeks, I will not only get to hide away your masterball somewhere in your apartment, but you'll forever stay a perverted man and your sex life in the future might be bleaker or at least you'll just suffer spiritual loss, emptiness, and failure.

Goldstein: ...

Jiminy: One last thing. If your peers happened to ask you why you are acting less sexually active as usual, tell them you've become a religious man and make up whatever excuse to cover yourself up and don't ever tell anyone about this test, which is starting about... NOW.

Jiminy Cricket said good bye and vanished out of thin air.

Meanwhile in space, Eris was watching the whole conversation between Goldstein and Jiminy Cricket.

Eris: Oh give up sex eh? Well I'm going to make sure that not only does he not pass his test, but that he will be sure to lose a lot of friends, especially that Cindy Kim, so that way I will cause countless discord in his school and apartment and soon all of New Jersey!

Eris was deviously plotting like the cruel femme fatale she is.

Eris: I know, by the time this mortal tries to resist the beauty of women, I'll do whatever it takes to influence my plotted events to cause him to stray from the path Jiminy's trying to set him on. I know I hate men sometimes, but i just love to torture them.

--Summary and Rules--

Goldstein must go through two weeks of suppressing his lustful desires from going out of control and learning how to become a more clean man in the future as if he was going through a spiritual transformation, only without any involuntary religious interference.

If he can do this for at least one week straight, he passes the test, gets to keep the masterball, and find out his second reward.

If he should fail, his masterball will be scattered around his apartment seemingly lost from his reach and he'll go through that eventual loss and emptiness jiminy's warned him about.

Goldstein's heart and mind is about as innocent as Pinocchio's in the disney film, but still retains his mature knowledge and wisdom of his environment. Plus he is endowed with relatively strong mental will and determination from the dust, but can still be affected by the hotness of women and anything related to sex.

Eris participates in this match to try and do whatever it takes to lead Goldstein astray and cause as much chaos around him as possible for her pleasure.

Neither Goldstein nor Jiminy Cricket have any knowledge of Eris at all.

Can Goldstein survive this test by any possible means? Or will Eris lead the horny mortal astray?

This fight posted by: Phalanx Blood

Too hard can't say who wins.Good stroy though Phalanx.

Thanks.

It took me two hours til like 11:40 last sunday night to make this good.


--------------------
Top
IonKidMax
  Posted on Aug 20 2008, 02:31 AM


Join the Green Side


Group: Members
Posts: 1,980
Member No.: 40
Joined: 12-June 08



QUOTE (Phalanx @ Aug 19 2008, 06:34 PM)
QUOTE (IonKidMax @ Aug 19 2008, 06:22 PM)
QUOTE (Phalanx @ Aug 18 2008, 03:43 AM)
((This takes place after Harold & Kumar vs. Ermac and this match has nothing to do with pinocchio but rather Goldstein taking a similar role and I don't know much about ghostface, so please no "he's out of character" critisms and the whole challenge goldstein's going through doesn't have to be 100% accurate just a heads-up))

While their challenges by ND4 were given to Harold and Kumar, here's what happened:

Challenge 1: Kill Ghostface

Kumar: OH MY GOD HE'S GOING TO THREATEN TO FUCKING KILL US!

Harold: Yeah I'd rather be back in Guantanamo Bay right now! Although sucking Big Bob's dick was still worse or just as bad as Ghostface trying to hunt us down!

Ghostface: I'm going to hunt you both down!

Harold: Dude forget, I'm too scared to kill this psycho.

The duo finally escaped the clutches of Ghostface.

Result: Fail

Challenge 2: Drink 12 Beers

Harold and Kumar were at a bar and decided to go in a beer-chugging contest.

12 beers per person was set on the wooden table.

5 hours later

Harold and Kumar could barely finish 5 beers as it seems.

Kumar: Fuck I think I'm going to have a hangover.

Harold: No shit. This is why I'm more of a smoker!

Harold and Kumar puked outside the bar and onto a hobo.

Hobo: HEY! WATCH IT!

Result: Failed

Challenge 3: Make Chompy Happy

Harold and Kumar were inside a super mario bros. level with no clue of how they got there, except they thought eris sent them there.

Harold: My god, isn't that fucking chompy from super mario bros. 3 and world?

Kumar: Yeah.

Harold: But the guy says we need to make him happy.

Kumar: Dude didn't you see Night at the Museum? Ben Stiller won over that living dinosaur skeleton by letting him play with a bone attached to a remote controlled car.

Harold: Oh yeah.

Chompy: *growls*

Harold: God, that was close it almost bite me.

Kumar: Look there's a green pipe over there. Let's let him play with it.

Harold took one and threw it at chompy for it to bite on.

Chompy: *plays with the pipe*

Harold: Now let's give it some weed, ok?

Kumar: Let him get high.

Harold and Kumar lit up their weed and had Chompy inhale the smoke.

Chompy got high and he was really happy. Harold and Kumar were nice enough to somehow find a lifetime supply of weed along with a fire flower (to smoke the weed) for chompy to enjoy.

Result: Success

Harold and Kumar finally got transported back to their neighborhood street and met ND4.

ND4: Boys, it looks you two only managed to pass one out of three of my challenges. You boys must now give Goldstein the master ball with Mewtwo inside.

Harold: Damn it.

Kumar: Oh well. We didn't care that much for it anyway.

ND4: So long gentlemen.

ND4 left the street and departed from Hoboken, New Jersey.

Harold and Kumar preceded to go to Goldstein's apartment room and give him his little present.

Harold: Hey Goldstein, we bought you a little something as a gift.

Goldstein: Wow a masterball? Damn I haven't had one like these since I was in third grade!

Kumar: Ok enjoy it. Now if you'll excuse us, we've got to get packing for amsterdam next week.

Now that goldstein has acquired the special masterball from the duo, little did he know that Mewtwo was inside.

Then Goldstein got really bored one night and decided to either call Cindy Kim over to have a "good time" or fap to a load of his playboy magazines.

When Goldstein was about to grab the phone and his stack of magazines at the same time, a friendly magical cartoon cricket popped up out of nowhere in front of Goldstein's face.

???: Hello, goldstein.

Goldstein gasped: How did you know my name?

???: Well I'm Jiminy Cricket silly. I have seen you sometimes.

Goldstein: Woah you're that little homo insect from that old disney film, pinocchio right?

Jiminy: That's correct and I'm here to re-educate you on how you should control and discipline your lustful desires, so you may become a more decent and likeable man when you get out of college.

Goldstein: Oh jesus, you're not one of them fundamentalist Roman Catholics, aren't you? God do they scare the hell out of me.

Jiminy: Hey buddy, I'm just a little cricket acting as your conscience. I know as a man who's just above his teen years and about to enter the adult age can really hold an inevitable natural urge for beautiful women, but you see the peers at your school are taking it too far sometimes and I'm not saying you should never have sex, but rather you do things the appropriate way and time.

Goldstein: Okay whatever. So cricket-boy, how are you going to expect to change me?

Jiminy: Simple, I'll let you go through a test in where you have to try to give up sex and suppress the active pursuit for your lustful ways like an animal on drugs for two weeks. However I shall pour some magic dust on you to make your heart and mind as pure and innocent as a child for rest of your trial so that it would be easier for you to pass the test.

Goldstein: But what's the catch?

Goldstein: The only catch is that as man with a purified heart (while still retaining your wisdom and knowledge as an adult), you must find a way to resist your urges and act as celibate as possible as you encounter seeing naked women, pictures of them, or any one of them in morally-tabooed places like strip clubs and the second east asian club party coming up in your school.

Goldstein: and...?

Jiminy: And after two weeks, I shall come by your door and ask you how was your test. If you had successfully suppressed your sexual urges for at least half the time, although the second half would be a lot better, you have passed the test. But I'd have to know if you really passed or not by going through a simple lie-detector test in which if you lied to me about your results, your nose grows long like pinocchio's (though the effect would wear how in an hour) and if you didn't lie, your nose stays the same length.

Goldstein: What shall be my rewards?

Jiminy: Your reward is that you get to keep your new masterball in which harold and kumar gave to you as a present and that's not it. You also get something else, but I won't tell you until you passed, though you might get the hint.

Goldstein: and if I fail?

Jiminy: If you had failed to give up sex for more than half your two weeks, I will not only get to hide away your masterball somewhere in your apartment, but you'll forever stay a perverted man and your sex life in the future might be bleaker or at least you'll just suffer spiritual loss, emptiness, and failure.

Goldstein: ...

Jiminy: One last thing. If your peers happened to ask you why you are acting less sexually active as usual, tell them you've become a religious man and make up whatever excuse to cover yourself up and don't ever tell anyone about this test, which is starting about... NOW.

Jiminy Cricket said good bye and vanished out of thin air.

Meanwhile in space, Eris was watching the whole conversation between Goldstein and Jiminy Cricket.

Eris: Oh give up sex eh? Well I'm going to make sure that not only does he not pass his test, but that he will be sure to lose a lot of friends, especially that Cindy Kim, so that way I will cause countless discord in his school and apartment and soon all of New Jersey!

Eris was deviously plotting like the cruel femme fatale she is.

Eris: I know, by the time this mortal tries to resist the beauty of women, I'll do whatever it takes to influence my plotted events to cause him to stray from the path Jiminy's trying to set him on. I know I hate men sometimes, but i just love to torture them.

--Summary and Rules--

Goldstein must go through two weeks of suppressing his lustful desires from going out of control and learning how to become a more clean man in the future as if he was going through a spiritual transformation, only without any involuntary religious interference.

If he can do this for at least one week straight, he passes the test, gets to keep the masterball, and find out his second reward.

If he should fail, his masterball will be scattered around his apartment seemingly lost from his reach and he'll go through that eventual loss and emptiness jiminy's warned him about.

Goldstein's heart and mind is about as innocent as Pinocchio's in the disney film, but still retains his mature knowledge and wisdom of his environment. Plus he is endowed with relatively strong mental will and determination from the dust, but can still be affected by the hotness of women and anything related to sex.

Eris participates in this match to try and do whatever it takes to lead Goldstein astray and cause as much chaos around him as possible for her pleasure.

Neither Goldstein nor Jiminy Cricket have any knowledge of Eris at all.

Can Goldstein survive this test by any possible means? Or will Eris lead the horny mortal astray?

This fight posted by: Phalanx Blood

Too hard can't say who wins.Good stroy though Phalanx.

Thanks.

It took me two hours til like 11:40 last sunday night to make this good.

Oh yes I was good.In fact too good.Your Asian aren't you?huh.gif


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Phalanx
Posted on Aug 20 2008, 03:02 AM


Okami... Best Wii game I've played so far!


Group: Admin
Posts: 2,139
Member No.: 1
Joined: 6-January 08



QUOTE (IonKidMax @ Aug 20 2008, 02:31 AM)
QUOTE (Phalanx @ Aug 19 2008, 06:34 PM)
QUOTE (IonKidMax @ Aug 19 2008, 06:22 PM)
QUOTE (Phalanx @ Aug 18 2008, 03:43 AM)
((This takes place after Harold & Kumar vs. Ermac and this match has nothing to do with pinocchio but rather Goldstein taking a similar role and I don't know much about ghostface, so please no "he's out of character" critisms and the whole challenge goldstein's going through doesn't have to be 100% accurate just a heads-up))

While their challenges by ND4 were given to Harold and Kumar, here's what happened:

Challenge 1: Kill Ghostface

Kumar: OH MY GOD HE'S GOING TO THREATEN TO FUCKING KILL US!

Harold: Yeah I'd rather be back in Guantanamo Bay right now! Although sucking Big Bob's dick was still worse or just as bad as Ghostface trying to hunt us down!

Ghostface: I'm going to hunt you both down!

Harold: Dude forget, I'm too scared to kill this psycho.

The duo finally escaped the clutches of Ghostface.

Result: Fail

Challenge 2: Drink 12 Beers

Harold and Kumar were at a bar and decided to go in a beer-chugging contest.

12 beers per person was set on the wooden table.

5 hours later

Harold and Kumar could barely finish 5 beers as it seems.

Kumar: Fuck I think I'm going to have a hangover.

Harold: No shit. This is why I'm more of a smoker!

Harold and Kumar puked outside the bar and onto a hobo.

Hobo: HEY! WATCH IT!

Result: Failed

Challenge 3: Make Chompy Happy

Harold and Kumar were inside a super mario bros. level with no clue of how they got there, except they thought eris sent them there.

Harold: My god, isn't that fucking chompy from super mario bros. 3 and world?

Kumar: Yeah.

Harold: But the guy says we need to make him happy.

Kumar: Dude didn't you see Night at the Museum? Ben Stiller won over that living dinosaur skeleton by letting him play with a bone attached to a remote controlled car.

Harold: Oh yeah.

Chompy: *growls*

Harold: God, that was close it almost bite me.

Kumar: Look there's a green pipe over there. Let's let him play with it.

Harold took one and threw it at chompy for it to bite on.

Chompy: *plays with the pipe*

Harold: Now let's give it some weed, ok?

Kumar: Let him get high.

Harold and Kumar lit up their weed and had Chompy inhale the smoke.

Chompy got high and he was really happy. Harold and Kumar were nice enough to somehow find a lifetime supply of weed along with a fire flower (to smoke the weed) for chompy to enjoy.

Result: Success

Harold and Kumar finally got transported back to their neighborhood street and met ND4.

ND4: Boys, it looks you two only managed to pass one out of three of my challenges. You boys must now give Goldstein the master ball with Mewtwo inside.

Harold: Damn it.

Kumar: Oh well. We didn't care that much for it anyway.

ND4: So long gentlemen.

ND4 left the street and departed from Hoboken, New Jersey.

Harold and Kumar preceded to go to Goldstein's apartment room and give him his little present.

Harold: Hey Goldstein, we bought you a little something as a gift.

Goldstein: Wow a masterball? Damn I haven't had one like these since I was in third grade!

Kumar: Ok enjoy it. Now if you'll excuse us, we've got to get packing for amsterdam next week.

Now that goldstein has acquired the special masterball from the duo, little did he know that Mewtwo was inside.

Then Goldstein got really bored one night and decided to either call Cindy Kim over to have a "good time" or fap to a load of his playboy magazines.

When Goldstein was about to grab the phone and his stack of magazines at the same time, a friendly magical cartoon cricket popped up out of nowhere in front of Goldstein's face.

???: Hello, goldstein.

Goldstein gasped: How did you know my name?

???: Well I'm Jiminy Cricket silly. I have seen you sometimes.

Goldstein: Woah you're that little homo insect from that old disney film, pinocchio right?

Jiminy: That's correct and I'm here to re-educate you on how you should control and discipline your lustful desires, so you may become a more decent and likeable man when you get out of college.

Goldstein: Oh jesus, you're not one of them fundamentalist Roman Catholics, aren't you? God do they scare the hell out of me.

Jiminy: Hey buddy, I'm just a little cricket acting as your conscience. I know as a man who's just above his teen years and about to enter the adult age can really hold an inevitable natural urge for beautiful women, but you see the peers at your school are taking it too far sometimes and I'm not saying you should never have sex, but rather you do things the appropriate way and time.

Goldstein: Okay whatever. So cricket-boy, how are you going to expect to change me?

Jiminy: Simple, I'll let you go through a test in where you have to try to give up sex and suppress the active pursuit for your lustful ways like an animal on drugs for two weeks. However I shall pour some magic dust on you to make your heart and mind as pure and innocent as a child for rest of your trial so that it would be easier for you to pass the test.

Goldstein: But what's the catch?

Goldstein: The only catch is that as man with a purified heart (while still retaining your wisdom and knowledge as an adult), you must find a way to resist your urges and act as celibate as possible as you encounter seeing naked women, pictures of them, or any one of them in morally-tabooed places like strip clubs and the second east asian club party coming up in your school.

Goldstein: and...?

Jiminy: And after two weeks, I shall come by your door and ask you how was your test. If you had successfully suppressed your sexual urges for at least half the time, although the second half would be a lot better, you have passed the test. But I'd have to know if you really passed or not by going through a simple lie-detector test in which if you lied to me about your results, your nose grows long like pinocchio's (though the effect would wear how in an hour) and if you didn't lie, your nose stays the same length.

Goldstein: What shall be my rewards?

Jiminy: Your reward is that you get to keep your new masterball in which harold and kumar gave to you as a present and that's not it. You also get something else, but I won't tell you until you passed, though you might get the hint.

Goldstein: and if I fail?

Jiminy: If you had failed to give up sex for more than half your two weeks, I will not only get to hide away your masterball somewhere in your apartment, but you'll forever stay a perverted man and your sex life in the future might be bleaker or at least you'll just suffer spiritual loss, emptiness, and failure.

Goldstein: ...

Jiminy: One last thing. If your peers happened to ask you why you are acting less sexually active as usual, tell them you've become a religious man and make up whatever excuse to cover yourself up and don't ever tell anyone about this test, which is starting about... NOW.

Jiminy Cricket said good bye and vanished out of thin air.

Meanwhile in space, Eris was watching the whole conversation between Goldstein and Jiminy Cricket.

Eris: Oh give up sex eh? Well I'm going to make sure that not only does he not pass his test, but that he will be sure to lose a lot of friends, especially that Cindy Kim, so that way I will cause countless discord in his school and apartment and soon all of New Jersey!

Eris was deviously plotting like the cruel femme fatale she is.

Eris: I know, by the time this mortal tries to resist the beauty of women, I'll do whatever it takes to influence my plotted events to cause him to stray from the path Jiminy's trying to set him on. I know I hate men sometimes, but i just love to torture them.

--Summary and Rules--

Goldstein must go through two weeks of suppressing his lustful desires from going out of control and learning how to become a more clean man in the future as if he was going through a spiritual transformation, only without any involuntary religious interference.

If he can do this for at least one week straight, he passes the test, gets to keep the masterball, and find out his second reward.

If he should fail, his masterball will be scattered around his apartment seemingly lost from his reach and he'll go through that eventual loss and emptiness jiminy's warned him about.

Goldstein's heart and mind is about as innocent as Pinocchio's in the disney film, but still retains his mature knowledge and wisdom of his environment. Plus he is endowed with relatively strong mental will and determination from the dust, but can still be affected by the hotness of women and anything related to sex.

Eris participates in this match to try and do whatever it takes to lead Goldstein astray and cause as much chaos around him as possible for her pleasure.

Neither Goldstein nor Jiminy Cricket have any knowledge of Eris at all.

Can Goldstein survive this test by any possible means? Or will Eris lead the horny mortal astray?

This fight posted by: Phalanx Blood

Too hard can't say who wins.Good stroy though Phalanx.

Thanks.

It took me two hours til like 11:40 last sunday night to make this good.

Oh yes I was good.In fact too good.Your Asian aren't you?huh.gif

Yup, just like Harold Lee. So how would this match if Goldstein were to pass? and where he to fail? and would Eris take over Harold and Kumar's neighborhood and the rest of New Jersey with it? and even soon New York and other states too?


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