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Pages: (37) « First ... 4 5 [6] 7 8 ... Last » ( Go to first unread post )

 Post your fight!!, Advertise
granobulax
Posted: Sep 19 2008, 01:13 PM


He's even got his hand over where I live...


Group: Admin
Posts: 7,880
Member No.: 35
Joined: 31-May 08



QUOTE (Bloody_Freak @ Sep 19 2008, 11:58 AM)
QUOTE (granobulax @ Sep 19 2008, 02:36 AM)
QUOTE (Bloody_Freak @ Sep 19 2008, 03:08 AM)
QUOTE (treacherous @ Sep 18 2008, 10:57 PM)
QUOTE (Bloody_Freak @ Sep 18 2008, 11:12 PM)
For those of you keeping up with my writings.

http://www.electricferret.com/battle/cbub_...s/918-16145.php

Some do. I'm going to go back to it and drop some constructive criticism gems soon.

Awesome. I love me some constructive criticism. happy.gif

Yes, you practicly beg for it laugh.gif

You bet! I wouldn't be as good as I am now if it wasn't for your constructive criticism! happy.gif

That's so true...


--------------------
Points:


I scare little kids.
user posted image

QUOTE (treacherous @ Aug 16 2008, 12:12 PM)
RRRAOAAOAOAORRARRAA!!...  Blue lights and sirens rang through the night!! Yeah, they all wanna kill each other... HERE ME CITY!! THE STREETS BELONG TO THE GANGS NOW!! THIS IS THE NEW ORDER!! PREPARE FOR CHAOS!!

Solomon and I may be gangsta, but treach is the gangsta of the year!
Top
super_wolverine_Man
Posted: Sep 19 2008, 07:34 PM


Head Admin


Group: Admin
Posts: 7,680
Member No.: 3
Joined: 9-January 08



If anyone wants me to review their match just let me know.


--------------------

Points:

"The first shot rang out from somewhere and I heard a bullet wiz by my face. With my pump action shotgun ready, I shoot the first fool I see."

Grano's so gangster.
Top
Bloody_Freak
Posted: Sep 19 2008, 09:06 PM


Fiction God


Group: Members
Posts: 2,623
Member No.: 33
Joined: 12-March 08



QUOTE (super_wolverine_Man @ Sep 19 2008, 03:34 PM)
If anyone wants me to review their match just let me know.

Could you do mine? http://www.electricferret.com/battle/cbub_...s/918-16145.php

I know you haven't been following the arch, so I don't know if that will throw you off.


--------------------
Points:
Top
super_wolverine_Man
Posted: Sep 20 2008, 04:13 AM


Head Admin


Group: Admin
Posts: 7,680
Member No.: 3
Joined: 9-January 08



QUOTE (Bloody_Freak @ Sep 19 2008, 09:06 PM)
QUOTE (super_wolverine_Man @ Sep 19 2008, 03:34 PM)
If anyone wants me to review their match just let me know.

Could you do mine? http://www.electricferret.com/battle/cbub_...s/918-16145.php

I know you haven't been following the arch, so I don't know if that will throw you off.

I review matches based on writings skills. I'll take a look at it sometime soon.


--------------------

Points:

"The first shot rang out from somewhere and I heard a bullet wiz by my face. With my pump action shotgun ready, I shoot the first fool I see."

Grano's so gangster.
Top
granobulax
Posted: Sep 20 2008, 04:24 AM


He's even got his hand over where I live...


Group: Admin
Posts: 7,880
Member No.: 35
Joined: 31-May 08



QUOTE (super_wolverine_Man @ Sep 20 2008, 04:13 AM)
QUOTE (Bloody_Freak @ Sep 19 2008, 09:06 PM)
QUOTE (super_wolverine_Man @ Sep 19 2008, 03:34 PM)
If anyone wants me to review their match just let me know.

Could you do mine? http://www.electricferret.com/battle/cbub_...s/918-16145.php

I know you haven't been following the arch, so I don't know if that will throw you off.

I review matches based on writings skills. I'll take a look at it sometime soon.

I can tell you that Bloody writes well for a college student, let alone a 14 year old...


--------------------
Points:


I scare little kids.
user posted image

QUOTE (treacherous @ Aug 16 2008, 12:12 PM)
RRRAOAAOAOAORRARRAA!!...  Blue lights and sirens rang through the night!! Yeah, they all wanna kill each other... HERE ME CITY!! THE STREETS BELONG TO THE GANGS NOW!! THIS IS THE NEW ORDER!! PREPARE FOR CHAOS!!

Solomon and I may be gangsta, but treach is the gangsta of the year!
Top
super_wolverine_Man
Posted: Sep 20 2008, 01:43 PM


Head Admin


Group: Admin
Posts: 7,680
Member No.: 3
Joined: 9-January 08



In the world of Cbub that is most defintiely an A. It was a really great story. I especially enjoyed the fight between, M-Di and the cyclops. That was exactly how somebody should write a predator fight. You've got some real potential kid.


Of course, i have some bad news as well. First of all, there was no suprises, or plot twists in your set-up. Secondly, i would have liked to see Guan-Thwei incorporated into the fight, someway. Also, if you want to be remembered as one of the good ones, you have to make your match seem different than all the others.....original. Next time, do something totally unexpected. Finally, i think you should have portrayed the Spinosaurus more. So that the reader could really understand that Mi-Di, would have a tough fight on his hands.


--------------------

Points:

"The first shot rang out from somewhere and I heard a bullet wiz by my face. With my pump action shotgun ready, I shoot the first fool I see."

Grano's so gangster.
Top
granobulax
Posted: Sep 20 2008, 02:37 PM


He's even got his hand over where I live...


Group: Admin
Posts: 7,880
Member No.: 35
Joined: 31-May 08



QUOTE (super_wolverine_Man @ Sep 20 2008, 01:43 PM)
In the world of Cbub that is most defintiely an A. It was a really great story. I especially enjoyed the fight between, M-Di and the cyclops. That was exactly how somebody should write a predator fight. You've got some real potential kid.


Of course, i have some bad news as well. First of all, there was no suprises, or plot twists in your set-up. Secondly, i would have liked to see Guan-Thwei incorporated into the fight, someway. Also, if you want to be remembered as one of the good ones, you have to make your match seem different than all the others.....original. Next time, do something totally unexpected. Finally, i think you should have portrayed the Spinosaurus more. So that the reader could really understand that Mi-Di, would have a tough fight on his hands.

Good criticism! He'll love it! biggrin.gif


--------------------
Points:


I scare little kids.
user posted image

QUOTE (treacherous @ Aug 16 2008, 12:12 PM)
RRRAOAAOAOAORRARRAA!!...  Blue lights and sirens rang through the night!! Yeah, they all wanna kill each other... HERE ME CITY!! THE STREETS BELONG TO THE GANGS NOW!! THIS IS THE NEW ORDER!! PREPARE FOR CHAOS!!

Solomon and I may be gangsta, but treach is the gangsta of the year!
Top
super_wolverine_Man
Posted: Sep 20 2008, 02:41 PM


Head Admin


Group: Admin
Posts: 7,680
Member No.: 3
Joined: 9-January 08



QUOTE (granobulax @ Sep 20 2008, 02:37 PM)
QUOTE (super_wolverine_Man @ Sep 20 2008, 01:43 PM)
In the world of Cbub that is most defintiely an A. It was a really great story. I especially enjoyed the fight between, M-Di  and the cyclops. That was exactly how somebody should write a predator fight. You've got some real potential kid.


Of course, i have some bad news as well. First of all, there was no suprises, or plot twists in your set-up. Secondly, i would have liked to see Guan-Thwei incorporated into the fight, someway. Also, if you want to be remembered as one of the good ones, you have to make your match seem different than all the others.....original. Next time, do something totally unexpected. Finally, i think you should have portrayed the Spinosaurus more. So that the reader could really understand that Mi-Di, would have a tough fight on his hands.

Good criticism! He'll love it! biggrin.gif

If you want some real constructive criticism. Talk to the big guns.


--------------------

Points:

"The first shot rang out from somewhere and I heard a bullet wiz by my face. With my pump action shotgun ready, I shoot the first fool I see."

Grano's so gangster.
Top
granobulax
Posted: Sep 20 2008, 02:42 PM


He's even got his hand over where I live...


Group: Admin
Posts: 7,880
Member No.: 35
Joined: 31-May 08



QUOTE (super_wolverine_Man @ Sep 20 2008, 02:41 PM)
QUOTE (granobulax @ Sep 20 2008, 02:37 PM)
QUOTE (super_wolverine_Man @ Sep 20 2008, 01:43 PM)
In the world of Cbub that is most defintiely an A. It was a really great story. I especially enjoyed the fight between, M-Di  and the cyclops. That was exactly how somebody should write a predator fight. You've got some real potential kid.


Of course, i have some bad news as well. First of all, there was no suprises, or plot twists in your set-up. Secondly, i would have liked to see Guan-Thwei incorporated into the fight, someway. Also, if you want to be remembered as one of the good ones, you have to make your match seem different than all the others.....original. Next time, do something totally unexpected. Finally, i think you should have portrayed the Spinosaurus more. So that the reader could really understand that Mi-Di, would have a tough fight on his hands.

Good criticism! He'll love it! biggrin.gif

If you want some real constructive criticism. Talk to the big guns.

You talking about the "Jerks" everyone talks about at electric ferret?

I don't handle criticism that isn't constructive very well...

That is, if they're jerks to begin with. I've never really posted over there.


--------------------
Points:


I scare little kids.
user posted image

QUOTE (treacherous @ Aug 16 2008, 12:12 PM)
RRRAOAAOAOAORRARRAA!!...  Blue lights and sirens rang through the night!! Yeah, they all wanna kill each other... HERE ME CITY!! THE STREETS BELONG TO THE GANGS NOW!! THIS IS THE NEW ORDER!! PREPARE FOR CHAOS!!

Solomon and I may be gangsta, but treach is the gangsta of the year!
Top
super_wolverine_Man
Posted: Sep 20 2008, 02:47 PM


Head Admin


Group: Admin
Posts: 7,680
Member No.: 3
Joined: 9-January 08



QUOTE (granobulax @ Sep 20 2008, 02:42 PM)
QUOTE (super_wolverine_Man @ Sep 20 2008, 02:41 PM)
QUOTE (granobulax @ Sep 20 2008, 02:37 PM)
QUOTE (super_wolverine_Man @ Sep 20 2008, 01:43 PM)
In the world of Cbub that is most defintiely an A. It was a really great story. I especially enjoyed the fight between, M-Di  and the cyclops. That was exactly how somebody should write a predator fight. You've got some real potential kid.


Of course, i have some bad news as well. First of all, there was no suprises, or plot twists in your set-up. Secondly, i would have liked to see Guan-Thwei incorporated into the fight, someway. Also, if you want to be remembered as one of the good ones, you have to make your match seem different than all the others.....original. Next time, do something totally unexpected. Finally, i think you should have portrayed the Spinosaurus more. So that the reader could really understand that Mi-Di, would have a tough fight on his hands.

Good criticism! He'll love it! biggrin.gif

If you want some real constructive criticism. Talk to the big guns.

You talking about the "Jerks" everyone talks about at electric ferret?

I don't handle criticism that isn't constructive very well...

That is, if they're jerks to begin with. I've never really posted over there.

Agree to disagree then.


--------------------

Points:

"The first shot rang out from somewhere and I heard a bullet wiz by my face. With my pump action shotgun ready, I shoot the first fool I see."

Grano's so gangster.
Top
granobulax
Posted: Sep 20 2008, 02:50 PM


He's even got his hand over where I live...


Group: Admin
Posts: 7,880
Member No.: 35
Joined: 31-May 08



QUOTE (super_wolverine_Man @ Sep 20 2008, 02:47 PM)
QUOTE (granobulax @ Sep 20 2008, 02:42 PM)
QUOTE (super_wolverine_Man @ Sep 20 2008, 02:41 PM)
QUOTE (granobulax @ Sep 20 2008, 02:37 PM)
QUOTE (super_wolverine_Man @ Sep 20 2008, 01:43 PM)
In the world of Cbub that is most defintiely an A. It was a really great story. I especially enjoyed the fight between, M-Di  and the cyclops. That was exactly how somebody should write a predator fight. You've got some real potential kid.


Of course, i have some bad news as well. First of all, there was no suprises, or plot twists in your set-up. Secondly, i would have liked to see Guan-Thwei incorporated into the fight, someway. Also, if you want to be remembered as one of the good ones, you have to make your match seem different than all the others.....original. Next time, do something totally unexpected. Finally, i think you should have portrayed the Spinosaurus more. So that the reader could really understand that Mi-Di, would have a tough fight on his hands.

Good criticism! He'll love it! biggrin.gif

If you want some real constructive criticism. Talk to the big guns.

You talking about the "Jerks" everyone talks about at electric ferret?

I don't handle criticism that isn't constructive very well...

That is, if they're jerks to begin with. I've never really posted over there.

Agree to disagree then.

So, they do criticise in a jerky way.

Yeah, I'll agree to disagree... wink.gif


--------------------
Points:


I scare little kids.
user posted image

QUOTE (treacherous @ Aug 16 2008, 12:12 PM)
RRRAOAAOAOAORRARRAA!!...  Blue lights and sirens rang through the night!! Yeah, they all wanna kill each other... HERE ME CITY!! THE STREETS BELONG TO THE GANGS NOW!! THIS IS THE NEW ORDER!! PREPARE FOR CHAOS!!

Solomon and I may be gangsta, but treach is the gangsta of the year!
Top
treacherous
Posted: Sep 20 2008, 04:37 PM


Let Hammy have his Bison. I've got Zod.


Group: Admin
Posts: 3,499
Member No.: 37
Joined: 10-June 08



It depends. Some of them are jerky, some of them are very helpful. You can find the helpful in all of it however. I've received really good critiques on my characters since I've been on the FPL. It's helping me improve.


--------------------
Points:

Ursa: You are master of all you survey.
General Zod: [bored] So I was yesterday. And the day before.




QUOTE (SilverSurfer092 @ Apr 9 2009, 03:27 AM)
WTFYES  Treacherous is full of pwnage.
Top
Bloody_Freak
Posted: Sep 20 2008, 05:39 PM


Fiction God


Group: Members
Posts: 2,623
Member No.: 33
Joined: 12-March 08



QUOTE (super_wolverine_Man @ Sep 20 2008, 09:43 AM)
In the world of Cbub that is most defintiely an A. It was a really great story. I especially enjoyed the fight between, M-Di and the cyclops. That was exactly how somebody should write a predator fight. You've got some real potential kid.


Of course, i have some bad news as well. First of all, there was no suprises, or plot twists in your set-up. Secondly, i would have liked to see Guan-Thwei incorporated into the fight, someway. Also, if you want to be remembered as one of the good ones, you have to make your match seem different than all the others.....original. Next time, do something totally unexpected. Finally, i think you should have portrayed the Spinosaurus more. So that the reader could really understand that Mi-Di, would have a tough fight on his hands.

Thanks man! happy.gif

The criticism is even more appreciated then the compliments. tongue.gif

In my last match i had a plot twist so I didn't have one in this one. Ain't that a plot twist of it's own. happy.gif

Maybe next time. The Spinsaurus I was hoping would just be known, if not I made him eating a T-Rex. wink.gif

Ya, I felt I rushed the ending there. I'll try harder next time. Thanks again!


--------------------
Points:
Top
Bloody_Freak
Posted: Sep 20 2008, 05:42 PM


Fiction God


Group: Members
Posts: 2,623
Member No.: 33
Joined: 12-March 08



QUOTE (super_wolverine_Man @ Sep 20 2008, 09:43 AM)
In the world of Cbub that is most defintiely an A. It was a really great story. I especially enjoyed the fight between, M-Di and the cyclops. That was exactly how somebody should write a predator fight. You've got some real potential kid.


Of course, i have some bad news as well. First of all, there was no suprises, or plot twists in your set-up. Secondly, i would have liked to see Guan-Thwei incorporated into the fight, someway. Also, if you want to be remembered as one of the good ones, you have to make your match seem different than all the others.....original. Next time, do something totally unexpected. Finally, i think you should have portrayed the Spinosaurus more. So that the reader could really understand that Mi-Di, would have a tough fight on his hands.

Did you comment on it there? huh.gif


--------------------
Points:
Top
super_wolverine_Man
Posted: Sep 21 2008, 02:35 AM


Head Admin


Group: Admin
Posts: 7,680
Member No.: 3
Joined: 9-January 08



QUOTE (Bloody_Freak @ Sep 20 2008, 05:42 PM)
QUOTE (super_wolverine_Man @ Sep 20 2008, 09:43 AM)
In the world of Cbub that is most defintiely an A. It was a really great story. I especially enjoyed the fight between, M-Di  and the cyclops. That was exactly how somebody should write a predator fight. You've got some real potential kid.


Of course, i have some bad news as well. First of all, there was no suprises, or plot twists in your set-up. Secondly, i would have liked to see Guan-Thwei incorporated into the fight, someway. Also, if you want to be remembered as one of the good ones, you have to make your match seem different than all the others.....original. Next time, do something totally unexpected. Finally, i think you should have portrayed the Spinosaurus more. So that the reader could really understand that Mi-Di, would have a tough fight on his hands.

Did you comment on it there? huh.gif

No I'm done with cbub.


--------------------

Points:

"The first shot rang out from somewhere and I heard a bullet wiz by my face. With my pump action shotgun ready, I shoot the first fool I see."

Grano's so gangster.
Top
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