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Pages: (37) « First ... 32 33 [34] 35 36 ... Last » ( Go to first unread post )

 Post your fight!!, Advertise
VG_Addict
Posted: Feb 16 2009, 12:31 AM


Veteran


Group: Members
Posts: 753
Member No.: 38
Joined: 11-June 08



QUOTE
The Warners were walking down the street, singing and dancing merrily as they walked across the street. Suddenly, a rather large truck sped across the black pavement, and slammed into the unsuspecting siblings, who were far too busy enjoying themselves to pay attention.

However, the truck didn't kill them, rather, it hit them with such great force that they were sent flying into the air, hurtling into space, and eventually landing in a large asteroid-like world.

"Ugh, were are we?" Wakko groaned, rubbing his head as the trio looked around them. The three were astounded to see a beautiful utopia, complete with clear skies, elegant fountains, and most importantly, vast amounts of food and hot babes.

"Wakko, I don't think we're in Kansas anymore." Yakko quipped as he looked around some more. Suddenly, a voice said, "Can I help you boys?" The three siblings turned to see a buxom, blonde woman in a Viking warrior's outfit, complete with horned helmet, smiling seductively at Yakko and Wakko, which earned her a sinister glare from Dot.

"HELLLOOOOOOOOOOOO, NURSE!!!!" Yakko and Wakko said in unison as they jumped into the woman's arms. Dot merely sighed, and rolled her eyes. "Men." she said, breaking the 4th wall.

"WHAT DOTH GOETH ON HERE?!?!?!" a voice bellowed, knocking Yakko and Wakko out of the Viking woman's arms. The trio turned to see a blonde-haired, muscular man glaring at them. He was dressed in a Viking warrior outfit, but also wearing an elaborate red cape. This man also held a massive hammer in his right hand.

"WHO ART THOU, AND WHY ART THOU WITH MY FAIR MAIDEN?!!?" The Viking man thundered, veins visibly throbbing in his neck.

"We're the Warner Brothers!" Yakko and Wakko said, again in unison. "And the Warner Sister, Princess Angelina Contessa Louisa Francesca Banana Fana Bo Besca III. But, you can call me Dot. Call me Dottie, and you die." The pink-skirted Warner said. "And who might you be?" Yakko asked.

"I am Thor, the Norse God of Thunder." Thor said proudly. "Aw, that's too bad." Yakko said sadly. "What's too bad?" the Thunder God questioned. "You said you were sore. Have you thought about seeing your chiropractor?" the oldest Warner said. "No, I said I was Thor!" the Viking man said, visibly annoyed. "I heard you, and I said you should probably see your chiropractor." Yakko replied. Thor's face turned a brilliant shade of burgundy. "NO!! I SAID I WAS THOR!!!" he thundered. "We heard you the first time!" the Warners said in unison.

"ENOUGH!!!!!!" Thor bellowed. "Anyway, what brings thou to Asgard?" he asked in a slightly nicer tone. "Sorry, I don't have any Asgards, all I have are knee-pads." Wakko replied, pointing to his knees, which were now inexplicibly covered in knee-pads. Thor sighed with annoyance. "No, Asgard is the home of the gods-" Thor began, before turning around to see Wakko attempting to lift the man's hammer. "HEY!! PUT THAT DOWN!! MJOLNER IS NOT A TOY!" Thor shouted. Wakko then walked over to his siblings, still attempting to carry the massive hammer, only to drop it on the Thunder God's left foot. "YEOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!! ME DAMMIT!!!" Thor screamed, holding his left foot while hopping around on his right foot. When his foot got better, Thor turned to glare at the Warners. "THAT IS IT!! THOU SHALT PAY DEARLY FOR THIS BLATANT DISRESPECT!!!!" Thor thundered at the trio. And with that, the battle began.

-The Warners can use 1/2 of their 5D powers.

-Thor can't use Runeforce or Odinforce.

-The Warners win if they either knock Thor out, or get him to leave.

-Thor wins if he can get the Warners to leave Asgard.

Who wins?

This fight posted by: VG_Addict



So, how is it?


--------------------
Points:
Top
Darkender
Posted: Feb 16 2009, 01:54 AM


Mr. Ego


Group: Members
Posts: 7,693
Member No.: 10
Joined: 10-January 08



QUOTE (VG_Addict @ Feb 16 2009, 12:31 AM)
QUOTE
The Warners were walking down the street, singing and dancing merrily as they walked across the street. Suddenly, a rather large truck sped across the black pavement, and slammed into the unsuspecting siblings, who were far too busy enjoying themselves to pay attention.

However, the truck didn't kill them, rather, it hit them with such great force that they were sent flying into the air, hurtling into space, and eventually landing in a large asteroid-like world.

"Ugh, were are we?" Wakko groaned, rubbing his head as the trio looked around them. The three were astounded to see a beautiful utopia, complete with clear skies, elegant fountains, and most importantly, vast amounts of food and hot babes.

"Wakko, I don't think we're in Kansas anymore." Yakko quipped as he looked around some more. Suddenly, a voice said, "Can I help you boys?" The three siblings turned to see a buxom, blonde woman in a Viking warrior's outfit, complete with horned helmet, smiling seductively at Yakko and Wakko, which earned her a sinister glare from Dot.

"HELLLOOOOOOOOOOOO, NURSE!!!!" Yakko and Wakko said in unison as they jumped into the woman's arms. Dot merely sighed, and rolled her eyes. "Men." she said, breaking the 4th wall.

"WHAT DOTH GOETH ON HERE?!?!?!" a voice bellowed, knocking Yakko and Wakko out of the Viking woman's arms. The trio turned to see a blonde-haired, muscular man glaring at them. He was dressed in a Viking warrior outfit, but also wearing an elaborate red cape. This man also held a massive hammer in his right hand.

"WHO ART THOU, AND WHY ART THOU WITH MY FAIR MAIDEN?!!?" The Viking man thundered, veins visibly throbbing in his neck.

"We're the Warner Brothers!" Yakko and Wakko said, again in unison. "And the Warner Sister, Princess Angelina Contessa Louisa Francesca Banana Fana Bo Besca III. But, you can call me Dot. Call me Dottie, and you die." The pink-skirted Warner said. "And who might you be?" Yakko asked.

"I am Thor, the Norse God of Thunder." Thor said proudly. "Aw, that's too bad." Yakko said sadly. "What's too bad?" the Thunder God questioned. "You said you were sore. Have you thought about seeing your chiropractor?" the oldest Warner said. "No, I said I was Thor!" the Viking man said, visibly annoyed. "I heard you, and I said you should probably see your chiropractor." Yakko replied. Thor's face turned a brilliant shade of burgundy. "NO!! I SAID I WAS THOR!!!" he thundered. "We heard you the first time!" the Warners said in unison.

"ENOUGH!!!!!!" Thor bellowed. "Anyway, what brings thou to Asgard?" he asked in a slightly nicer tone. "Sorry, I don't have any Asgards, all I have are knee-pads." Wakko replied, pointing to his knees, which were now inexplicibly covered in knee-pads. Thor sighed with annoyance. "No, Asgard is the home of the gods-" Thor began, before turning around to see Wakko attempting to lift the man's hammer. "HEY!! PUT THAT DOWN!! MJOLNER IS NOT A TOY!" Thor shouted. Wakko then walked over to his siblings, still attempting to carry the massive hammer, only to drop it on the Thunder God's left foot. "YEOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!! ME DAMMIT!!!" Thor screamed, holding his left foot while hopping around on his right foot. When his foot got better, Thor turned to glare at the Warners. "THAT IS IT!! THOU SHALT PAY DEARLY FOR THIS BLATANT DISRESPECT!!!!" Thor thundered at the trio. And with that, the battle began.

-The Warners can use 1/2 of their 5D powers.

-Thor can't use Runeforce or Odinforce.

-The Warners win if they either knock Thor out, or get him to leave.

-Thor wins if he can get the Warners to leave Asgard.

Who wins?

This fight posted by: VG_Addict



So, how is it?

To put it not mean. It was horrible...really bad.


--------------------
Points:A Gazillion almost as much as my swagga
Top
granobulax
Posted: Feb 16 2009, 07:28 AM


He's even got his hand over where I live...


Group: Admin
Posts: 7,880
Member No.: 35
Joined: 31-May 08



I really liked it. Very entertaining and the Warners were very much in character.

Oh, and toonforce ftw!


--------------------
Points:


I scare little kids.
user posted image

QUOTE (treacherous @ Aug 16 2008, 12:12 PM)
RRRAOAAOAOAORRARRAA!!...  Blue lights and sirens rang through the night!! Yeah, they all wanna kill each other... HERE ME CITY!! THE STREETS BELONG TO THE GANGS NOW!! THIS IS THE NEW ORDER!! PREPARE FOR CHAOS!!

Solomon and I may be gangsta, but treach is the gangsta of the year!
Top
MarvelFan15
Posted: Feb 20 2009, 04:24 AM


A God Among Heroes


Group: Members
Posts: 1,013
Member No.: 232
Joined: 19-February 09



Okay, for all who care (especially you, grano) here is one of my best fights.

...Long!



"THE REBELLION"

Part 9: "Breaking Point"

Due to the length of this story, there are two marked sections: "Coclusion to last match". and "Start of current matchup"

-Conclusion of last match-

Juggernaut dashed down the tunnel he made to get here, curling into a ball and rolling down the tunnel. When he was ten feet down he straightened, landing on his feet and continued running. Back up in the holding area, seven men in War machine suits were about to give chase, but were wary of a trap. They decided to all go down together, despite the lack of attack room. The leader of the group (identified by a crimson star on his right shoulder) walked warily up to the gaping mouth of the tunnel. He was suddenly jarred so violently he almost flew off his feet. Several of his men actually did. The prisoners on either side of him looked like they were watching a reality TV show. The ground continued to shake as if an earthquake were rattling the area, making it hard to stand. "What was that?" he asked his troops. His men failed to give an answer, but deep inside he already knew, and his gut twisted at the thought of it actually being true: His target was digging more tunnels. If he was not stopped soon then his men would be wandering inside an underground maze, causing them to thin out. The Juggernaut would then pick them off one by one. The rumbling increased in strength, then the ground halted its destructive dance ever so briefly, then resumed. Maintaning his footing, he placed his right foot in the opening. "Follow me men!" he commanded, trying to sound brave so as to bolster the stedily failing resolve of his troops. He found that keeping your footing in an earthquake wile going down a steep grade on uneven ground was easier said than done. But have an anti-sway-motion suit helped. It helped a lot. But he didn't know how much it helped against the Juggernauts fists.

He rolled down the cave as well, untill the ground evened out. His men decided to glid down. Now, the leader's worst fear had been realized: They were indeed in a maze. He had little choice if they wanted to find Juggernaut. "Spread out" he said. There were many holes leading in nearly every direction. He took the one leading straight down, and he heard his men each take a tunnle to himself. Then he heard a gut-wrenching scream over the com-link. Then he heard a wet ripping sound, and several poping noises. "Men!!Report!!" His troops began to recite their names but left out their status. Screw the status, that could change at any moment. His last trooper answerd like this: "Seargent Balkins h-" There was a rush of air, as if it was being choked off. 'Two down' he thought. "Men, activate tracking signals and group in twos!" he yelled into his helmet. He saw Four blips, each at around nearly a hundred feet apart close in at each other. Soon every blip but his own had a partner. One set was at his left, the other at his lower right. "Okay men, now form up!" Each of the four dots began to start towards him, moving with caution. The men on his left began to move downwards. They would not cross paths with their commander. Niether would the blips on his lower right.

He decided it would be best to continue on. He eventually found the cell that Juggernaut had escaped from, its single light flickering. He turned back, and focused on his screen again. The blips were now clustered where he had been when he gave the order. He headed back now, the light of the cell receading behind him, stranding him in darkness. He turned on his night vision. He spoke: "Okay men, I'm coming around now. Stay there and wait for further orders." One blip detached itself from the rest, and began to make its way towards him. "Stand down and return to your post, soldier!" The blip continued on its way. "That's an order soldier!" The Blip took no heed. He check its status. There was something wrom with its com-link, but its homing signal was working fine. "Men, meet up with me at the end of the tunnel." No one answered. Now he checked their status. Their com-links were working fine, but his men were not answering. The blip that was moving toward him now doubled its pace. Only then did he realize that its number was 7. The number that had been choked off. The finger of dread now touched the commander, causing his adrenaline glands to ignite full blast. He looked around, hoping to find a tunnle in which he could escape. There was one a few yards ahead. He sprinted towards it, and dove inside. He ran along it, knowing that it lead outside. The cave curved and the Commander curved with it.

The cluster of stationary blips was dead ahead. He ran out of the smaller tunnel into the main one and slipped in muck. He fell backwards. He put his hands out to lift himself up and placed his hands on a spongy surface. He froze. He swung his head around, and looked down. He beheld the body of one of his comrade's. He was severely mutilated, one of his arms was missing, with a huge gaping hole in his stomach, organs spilling out. And the Commander's arm was elbow deep in his comrade's stomach. He got up so fast one would think he had been sitting in a bed of hot coals. He shook his arm as if it were on fire. He looked around in horror to find his other comrades similarily dismembered, gutted, ripped, and an assortment of other examples of horrid violence. One of his soldier's facemasks had been ripped off, and had failed to release its pressure connections. The resulting sucktion had caused the man's skin to loosen, and he looked like a ghoulish scarecrow. Only then did he notice the other blip. It was heading for him at breakneck speed.

He spun around, and slurred his words trying to activate his weapons. He just managed to shoot his Pulse Bolt Generator. A blue wave shot out, building in intensity. It exploded, blue light suffusing the tunnle. It faded. Then, charging out of the black, holding a dead Soldier( still suited in his armor), charged the Juggernaut. "OH, F@*%!!" screamed the commander. He dodged to the left, but Juggernaut was too quick. He snatched the man, now squeeling, out of the air. The commander fired his mini-gun at the fearsome Juggernaut. The bullets bounced off harmlessly. "Silly B*^$#, your weapons cannot hurt me." He dropped the dead soldier, and grabbed the leader's other arm. He pummeled the man into the wall. The commander's intestines were forced upwards, causing him to vomit blood in his helmet. He would choke to death if his helmet didn't open. But it did, and he gulped fresh air. But it made no difference. The Juggernaut didn't have mercy as his top priority at that moment. And in the dark tavern, the man's screams echoed long after they should have vanished.

-End of conclusion-

-start of current matchup-

Juggernaut reapeared from the cave and walked over to Charles Xavier's cell. He wrenched the bars that held him free. "Come on" Cain said. "We're getting you, and the rest of these mutants out of here." Cain began to free each of the depowered mutants one by one. Including Rogue, Cyclops, Wolverine and Emma Frost. There were other heroes here as well, ones that weren't mutants, although not that many. Jennifer walters was held in a high security cell. They had been doing experiments on her to enhance their own soldiers. Luckily, they hadn't robbed her of her powers. They eventually found their way out, the former prisoners gasping the fresh air. Juggernaut looked around for Colossus, and found him where he had left him, his arms almost healed.

"Let's go" Cain said, and heaved him up. The group made their way out of the Boston area, and continued west. Cain then heard something that made him smile with delight: A sonic boom. He looked up in time to see a golden streak in the sky shining like the sun. The Sentry had arrived. He circled around, turning many heads, and landed next to Cain. "Who are all these people?" Robert asked. "Mutants. Depowered. Imprisoned by the Government but now set free. I need you to help me get them back to our hideout." Robert answered: "We can't hide this many people." Cain smiled. "Oh, yes we can. We'll find places for them." Reynolds sighed. "Alright. Let me get some supplies. Then I'll come get these people. Oh, and Cain. I got some interesting info from my last mission that you might want to look at." With that, Robert flew off into the now fading sunset. The group continued to walk.

Location classified:

Sherma Williams sat in her office, going over failsafe plans, Cloning plans, and others. A man walked into her office and said: "Ma'm. Our superhero prison near Boston was just...well, all the prisoners have been released." Sherma looked up, slightly annoyed. She got up and followed the man out the door. She made her way down to where Roger Stockholm (her second in command) was overseeing the workings of the entire operation. He turned, and announced he had already heard the news. He also said he had a specimen that would be able to hold its own agaisnt Juggernaut. She was interested and followed him to where it was being held. "What is it?" she asked.

"A Super-Skrull. A genetic experiment from a highly advanced alien race. The Fantastic Four defeated it in battle, and kept some of its DNA. We got some from Reed Richards, and we were able to completely regenerate it. It has the combined abilities of all the Fantastic Four. However we couldn't get it up to full power. So we modified it. We used the DNA-" he points to a computer screen "-from She-Hulk and former X-man Strong Guy. Using She-Hulk's DNA we were able to augument its strength to much higher levels." Sherma looked pleased, then asked: "What about Stron Guy's DNA?" Roger smiled. "We also integrated that into him. Now he's able to absord kinetic energy to himself much, much stronger." Sherma chuckled. Her smile froze, then dissapered altogether. "Was Strong Guy one of the escapees?" Roger answered: "No. He was one mutant who wasd fully dependant on his powers. He needed not only food and water, but a tiny amount of kinetic energy each day. When he lost his powers, he was unable to absorb any energy. He died very slowly." Sherma nodded.

She looked at the Skrull, in a embryonic chamber, on the computer screen. "Load him up and ship him out for battle. And-" She pointed a finger at Roger "-if he fails it will be time to start the Manhattan Project." Roger nodded. The Manhattan Project was going to be big.

Robert came back a half hour later. He carried a giant flat rock and a net made of cables. He placed the net down, spreading it out. He then placed the giant sheet rock on top of it. "What's this" Cain asked. Robert said: "The people get on the rock. I grab the edges of the net, allowing me to lift the rock with the people on it. Sounds stupid, but the situation called for some improv." Cain laughed. "Its good. Its faster than walking." A few minutes later, Robert left with his load of people. "Everybody wait here until he comes back!!" Cain yelled.

Later:

The night was silent and the stars shone like diamonds in the sky. Cain sat on a boulder overlooking the campsite where they where resting. He needed no sleep. He heard a thud in the distance, and reasoned it might be hunter rifles. He ignored it. Another thud, this one much closer. Cain decided to ivestigate, and made sure everyone was asleep. He jogged to where he heard the noise. A hideous shape made its way out of the darkness and crashed on the ground, causing evryone in the camp to awake.

Full powered Juggs.

vs.

Super skrull that is slightly stronger than it originally was. Plus it is able to absorb kinetic energy to become over 9 times stronger.

"FIGHT"


--------------------
Points Hmm....


To All of Those who don't know me....


I am the thief in the night...watching in the shadows...waiting...
I am the Godslayer!
I am the Demon Tamer!
I am the World-Conqurer!

And for those of you who don't respect me...
You will...
user posted image
Top
Guardian of Nesh
Posted: Feb 20 2009, 04:27 AM


A mole of legendarinesss


Group: Admin
Posts: 3,682
Member No.: 68
Joined: 31-July 08



QUOTE (jailer411 @ Feb 6 2009, 04:07 PM)
QUOTE (granobulax @ Feb 6 2009, 11:14 AM)
QUOTE (treacherous @ Feb 6 2009, 03:40 PM)
Do any of you CBUBer's realize you can advertise your matches hear?  Just post the URL.  I'm just saying.

You mean to tell me there are CBUBers still around? I thought they were extinct...

That makes me and Marvel Man, the only regular Haven/CBUB users. Go team hybrid!

I still make matches often, I'm just lacking insparation.


--------------------
Points:


'I'm going to die; if this wasteland doesn't kill me the Avatars will. I'm the last Technomancer; as I go so goes my culture.' The thought was serene, not fearful at all. If he was going to die, he'd die fighting; he'd make sure that the Technomancers were never forgotten. Morshan Sakru: The Last Technomancer would be a name all Avatar would shutter at the thought of for etenity. Morshan now knew what happened to a man who had nothing left to live for but vengence: he became a monster.
Top
granobulax
Posted: Feb 20 2009, 04:43 AM


He's even got his hand over where I live...


Group: Admin
Posts: 7,880
Member No.: 35
Joined: 31-May 08



QUOTE (MarvelFan15 @ Feb 20 2009, 04:24 AM)
Okay, for all who care (especially you, grano) here is one of my best fights..............

I liked it. You seem to have a knack for flow. I think you could have been a little more creative with your word choices though...

I definately would have given this match an A on CBUB.


--------------------
Points:


I scare little kids.
user posted image

QUOTE (treacherous @ Aug 16 2008, 12:12 PM)
RRRAOAAOAOAORRARRAA!!...  Blue lights and sirens rang through the night!! Yeah, they all wanna kill each other... HERE ME CITY!! THE STREETS BELONG TO THE GANGS NOW!! THIS IS THE NEW ORDER!! PREPARE FOR CHAOS!!

Solomon and I may be gangsta, but treach is the gangsta of the year!
Top
MarvelFan15
Posted: Feb 20 2009, 05:08 AM


A God Among Heroes


Group: Members
Posts: 1,013
Member No.: 232
Joined: 19-February 09



QUOTE (granobulax @ Feb 20 2009, 04:43 AM)
QUOTE (MarvelFan15 @ Feb 20 2009, 04:24 AM)
Okay, for all who care (especially you, grano) here is one of my best fights..............

I liked it. You seem to have a knack for flow. I think you could have been a little more creative with your word choices though...

I definately would have given this match an A on CBUB.

Word choices?

As in...dialouge? Or just the words used in the descriptions?

That's always been my shortcoming: Mincing words.


--------------------
Points Hmm....


To All of Those who don't know me....


I am the thief in the night...watching in the shadows...waiting...
I am the Godslayer!
I am the Demon Tamer!
I am the World-Conqurer!

And for those of you who don't respect me...
You will...
user posted image
Top
granobulax
Posted: Feb 20 2009, 05:10 AM


He's even got his hand over where I live...


Group: Admin
Posts: 7,880
Member No.: 35
Joined: 31-May 08



QUOTE (MarvelFan15 @ Feb 20 2009, 05:08 AM)
QUOTE (granobulax @ Feb 20 2009, 04:43 AM)
QUOTE (MarvelFan15 @ Feb 20 2009, 04:24 AM)
Okay, for all who care (especially you, grano) here is one of my best fights..............

I liked it. You seem to have a knack for flow. I think you could have been a little more creative with your word choices though...

I definately would have given this match an A on CBUB.

Word choices?

As in...dialouge? Or just the words used in the descriptions?

That's always been my shortcoming: Mincing words.

I just though the choice of words in certain areas were a bit... bland is all. Don't get me wrong, I thought it was a good match you wrote there. Trust me, you'll get harsher criticisms than that from others on here. Don't let it deter you though as it will help you to become a better writer.

Did you get my PM? It's a personal message system located in your upper right corner of your screen. Just click on "inbox" to recieve your PM's.


--------------------
Points:


I scare little kids.
user posted image

QUOTE (treacherous @ Aug 16 2008, 12:12 PM)
RRRAOAAOAOAORRARRAA!!...  Blue lights and sirens rang through the night!! Yeah, they all wanna kill each other... HERE ME CITY!! THE STREETS BELONG TO THE GANGS NOW!! THIS IS THE NEW ORDER!! PREPARE FOR CHAOS!!

Solomon and I may be gangsta, but treach is the gangsta of the year!
Top
MarvelFan15
Posted: Feb 20 2009, 05:16 AM


A God Among Heroes


Group: Members
Posts: 1,013
Member No.: 232
Joined: 19-February 09



QUOTE (granobulax @ Feb 20 2009, 05:10 AM)
QUOTE (MarvelFan15 @ Feb 20 2009, 05:08 AM)
QUOTE (granobulax @ Feb 20 2009, 04:43 AM)
QUOTE (MarvelFan15 @ Feb 20 2009, 04:24 AM)
Okay, for all who care (especially you, grano) here is one of my best fights..............

I liked it. You seem to have a knack for flow. I think you could have been a little more creative with your word choices though...

I definately would have given this match an A on CBUB.

Word choices?

As in...dialouge? Or just the words used in the descriptions?

That's always been my shortcoming: Mincing words.

I just though the choice of words in certain areas were a bit... bland is all. Don't get me wrong, I thought it was a good match you wrote there. Trust me, you'll get harsher criticisms than that from others on here. Don't let it deter you though as it will help you to become a better writer.

Did you get my PM? It's a personal message system located in your upper right corner of your screen. Just click on "inbox" to recieve your PM's.

Bland as in...how?
At least I had flow, right?

Yes, critisize, so I'll know where to improve.

I got your PM, I'll read it tomorrow.

sorry, but I have to get to bed by a certain time, or else I won't be able to wake up to go to work. wacko.gif

Later.


--------------------
Points Hmm....


To All of Those who don't know me....


I am the thief in the night...watching in the shadows...waiting...
I am the Godslayer!
I am the Demon Tamer!
I am the World-Conqurer!

And for those of you who don't respect me...
You will...
user posted image
Top
granobulax
Posted: Feb 20 2009, 05:25 AM


He's even got his hand over where I live...


Group: Admin
Posts: 7,880
Member No.: 35
Joined: 31-May 08



QUOTE (MarvelFan15 @ Feb 20 2009, 05:16 AM)
QUOTE (granobulax @ Feb 20 2009, 05:10 AM)
QUOTE (MarvelFan15 @ Feb 20 2009, 05:08 AM)
QUOTE (granobulax @ Feb 20 2009, 04:43 AM)
QUOTE (MarvelFan15 @ Feb 20 2009, 04:24 AM)
Okay, for all who care (especially you, grano) here is one of my best fights..............

I liked it. You seem to have a knack for flow. I think you could have been a little more creative with your word choices though...

I definately would have given this match an A on CBUB.

Word choices?

As in...dialouge? Or just the words used in the descriptions?

That's always been my shortcoming: Mincing words.

I just though the choice of words in certain areas were a bit... bland is all. Don't get me wrong, I thought it was a good match you wrote there. Trust me, you'll get harsher criticisms than that from others on here. Don't let it deter you though as it will help you to become a better writer.

Did you get my PM? It's a personal message system located in your upper right corner of your screen. Just click on "inbox" to recieve your PM's.

Bland as in...how?
At least I had flow, right?

Yes, critisize, so I'll know where to improve.

I got your PM, I'll read it tomorrow.

sorry, but I have to get to bed by a certain time, or else I won't be able to wake up to go to work. wacko.gif

Later.

My suggestion would be to post your match in the thread called "Grades" by Solomon. He's the best at critiquing matches here. I've got to get off of here too.


--------------------
Points:


I scare little kids.
user posted image

QUOTE (treacherous @ Aug 16 2008, 12:12 PM)
RRRAOAAOAOAORRARRAA!!...  Blue lights and sirens rang through the night!! Yeah, they all wanna kill each other... HERE ME CITY!! THE STREETS BELONG TO THE GANGS NOW!! THIS IS THE NEW ORDER!! PREPARE FOR CHAOS!!

Solomon and I may be gangsta, but treach is the gangsta of the year!
Top
Solomon
Posted: Feb 20 2009, 11:13 AM


Head Admin


Group: Admin
Posts: 7,680
Member No.: 3
Joined: 9-January 08



Bland as in boring, unoriginal, uncreative, repetitive, and monotnous.


--------------------

Points:

"The first shot rang out from somewhere and I heard a bullet wiz by my face. With my pump action shotgun ready, I shoot the first fool I see."

Grano's so gangster.
Top
MarvelFan15
Posted: Feb 20 2009, 01:31 PM


A God Among Heroes


Group: Members
Posts: 1,013
Member No.: 232
Joined: 19-February 09



QUOTE (Solomon @ Feb 20 2009, 11:13 AM)
Bland as in boring, unoriginal, uncreative, repetitive, and monotnous.

Ouch! blink.gif
That hurt!

...I'll improve cool.gif


--------------------
Points Hmm....


To All of Those who don't know me....


I am the thief in the night...watching in the shadows...waiting...
I am the Godslayer!
I am the Demon Tamer!
I am the World-Conqurer!

And for those of you who don't respect me...
You will...
user posted image
Top
MarvelFan15
Posted: Feb 20 2009, 01:33 PM


A God Among Heroes


Group: Members
Posts: 1,013
Member No.: 232
Joined: 19-February 09



QUOTE (Solomon @ Feb 20 2009, 11:13 AM)
Bland as in boring, unoriginal, uncreative, repetitive, and monotnous.

If I'm not mistaken, you used to be horrible as well? wink.gif


--------------------
Points Hmm....


To All of Those who don't know me....


I am the thief in the night...watching in the shadows...waiting...
I am the Godslayer!
I am the Demon Tamer!
I am the World-Conqurer!

And for those of you who don't respect me...
You will...
user posted image
Top
Solomon
Posted: Feb 20 2009, 07:48 PM


Head Admin


Group: Admin
Posts: 7,680
Member No.: 3
Joined: 9-January 08



QUOTE (MarvelFan15 @ Feb 20 2009, 01:33 PM)
QUOTE (Solomon @ Feb 20 2009, 11:13 AM)
Bland as in boring, unoriginal, uncreative, repetitive, and monotnous.

If I'm not mistaken, you used to be horrible as well? wink.gif

Yes, but I learned to take criticism rather than to turn it back on my critics.


--------------------

Points:

"The first shot rang out from somewhere and I heard a bullet wiz by my face. With my pump action shotgun ready, I shoot the first fool I see."

Grano's so gangster.
Top
Solomon
Posted: Feb 20 2009, 07:50 PM


Head Admin


Group: Admin
Posts: 7,680
Member No.: 3
Joined: 9-January 08



QUOTE (MarvelFan15 @ Feb 20 2009, 01:31 PM)
QUOTE (Solomon @ Feb 20 2009, 11:13 AM)
Bland as in boring, unoriginal, uncreative, repetitive, and monotnous.

Ouch! blink.gif
That hurt!

...I'll improve cool.gif

People will tell you, that I'm the hardest to impress, and the harshest grader on here.



--------------------

Points:

"The first shot rang out from somewhere and I heard a bullet wiz by my face. With my pump action shotgun ready, I shoot the first fool I see."

Grano's so gangster.
Top
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