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Haven Of Wiidom > Members' Zones > Nd4's reviews


Posted by: nicker Mar 1 2009, 05:31 PM
What ever it be :Fpl person, CBUB match,just show me and I will review it on a scale from 1 out of 10.

Posted by: Solomon Mar 1 2009, 05:32 PM
happy.gif

Posted by: Jailer411 Mar 1 2009, 05:33 PM
Will you be giving pointers, for people to improve?

Posted by: nicker Mar 1 2009, 05:35 PM
QUOTE (Jailer411 @ Mar 1 2009, 05:33 PM)
Will you be giving pointers, for people to improve?

Problay.

Posted by: Pseudonym Mar 1 2009, 05:38 PM
You f**ked up on the first f**king sentence!

QUOTE
on a scale from 5 out of 10.


What the f**k is that supposed to mean?!

Posted by: nicker Mar 1 2009, 05:39 PM
QUOTE (Pseudonym @ Mar 1 2009, 05:38 PM)
You f**ked up on the first f**king sentence!

QUOTE
on a scale from 5 out of 10.


What the f**k is that supposed to mean?!

Like say I give your story a 5 out of 10. There that explain enough for Da?

Posted by: Jailer411 Mar 1 2009, 05:40 PM
QUOTE (Pseudonym @ Mar 1 2009, 11:38 AM)
You f**ked up on the first f**king sentence!

QUOTE
on a scale from 5 out of 10.


What the f**k is that supposed to mean?!

1 through 10 scale? I don't know how ND4 will do this.

Somebody post a story!

Posted by: Solomon Mar 1 2009, 05:41 PM
There was the guy who went to the store, and he bought stuff. He took the last cookie, so I shot him the end.


Please grade.

Posted by: nicker Mar 1 2009, 05:43 PM
QUOTE (Solomon @ Mar 1 2009, 05:41 PM)
There was the guy who went to the store, and he bought stuff. He took the last cookie, so I shot him the end.


Please grade.

sleep.gif You doubt me dont you? Well whatever.

Writing: Short yet simple 3 out of 10 for wrting.

Idea: Meh seems like you just posted this for the hell of it. 2 out of 10 here.

All in all : Meh this gets a 4 out of 10 which is a 40 from me.

Posted by: Solomon Mar 1 2009, 05:44 PM
4 out of 10 for two sentences.... I'm gonna leave now.

Posted by: nicker Mar 1 2009, 05:45 PM
QUOTE (Solomon @ Mar 1 2009, 05:44 PM)
4 out of 10 for two sentences.... I'm gonna leave now.

Your lucky I just didnt give you a 1 out of 10.

Posted by: Solomon Mar 1 2009, 05:45 PM
laugh.gif

Posted by: Jailer411 Mar 1 2009, 05:45 PM
QUOTE (nicker @ Mar 1 2009, 11:43 AM)
QUOTE (Solomon @ Mar 1 2009, 05:41 PM)
There was the guy who went to the store, and he bought stuff. He took the last cookie, so I shot him the end.


Please grade.

sleep.gif You doubt me dont you? Well whatever.

Writing: Short yet simple 3 out of 10 for wrting.

Idea: Meh seems like you just posted this for the hell of it. 2 out of 10 here.

All in all : Meh this gets a 4 out of 10 which is a 40 from me.

A 40?

Posted by: Solomon Mar 1 2009, 05:46 PM
QUOTE (Jailer411 @ Mar 1 2009, 05:45 PM)
QUOTE (nicker @ Mar 1 2009, 11:43 AM)
QUOTE (Solomon @ Mar 1 2009, 05:41 PM)
There was the guy who went to the store, and he bought stuff. He took the last cookie, so I shot him the end.


Please grade.

sleep.gif You doubt me dont you? Well whatever.

Writing: Short yet simple 3 out of 10 for wrting.

Idea: Meh seems like you just posted this for the hell of it. 2 out of 10 here.

All in all : Meh this gets a 4 out of 10 which is a 40 from me.

A 40?

tongue.gif I'm just that good. laugh.gif

Posted by: nicker Mar 1 2009, 05:48 PM
QUOTE (Jailer411 @ Mar 1 2009, 05:45 PM)
QUOTE (nicker @ Mar 1 2009, 11:43 AM)
QUOTE (Solomon @ Mar 1 2009, 05:41 PM)
There was the guy who went to the store, and he bought stuff. He took the last cookie, so I shot him the end.


Please grade.

sleep.gif You doubt me dont you? Well whatever.

Writing: Short yet simple 3 out of 10 for wrting.

Idea: Meh seems like you just posted this for the hell of it. 2 out of 10 here.

All in all : Meh this gets a 4 out of 10 which is a 40 from me.

A 40?

Yeah.

1: A 0 shows no effort whatsoever.

2: 2o Shows some effort but still not good..

3: A 30 has mild effort and shows that some creativity was used.

4: 4o mild effort and good effort.

I will explain the other grades later.

Posted by: Pseudonym Mar 1 2009, 05:48 PM
QUOTE (nicker @ Mar 1 2009, 05:39 PM)
QUOTE (Pseudonym @ Mar 1 2009, 05:38 PM)
You f**ked up on the first f**king sentence!

QUOTE
on a scale from 5 out of 10.


What the f**k is that supposed to mean?!

Like say I give your story a 5 out of 10. There that explain enough for Da?

So there is only one grade-- 5 out of 10

Posted by: nicker Mar 1 2009, 05:49 PM
QUOTE (Pseudonym @ Mar 1 2009, 05:48 PM)
QUOTE (nicker @ Mar 1 2009, 05:39 PM)
QUOTE (Pseudonym @ Mar 1 2009, 05:38 PM)
You f**ked up on the first f**king sentence!

QUOTE
on a scale from 5 out of 10.


What the f**k is that supposed to mean?!

Like say I give your story a 5 out of 10. There that explain enough for Da?

So there is only one grade-- 5 out of 10

Look back at the last page.

Posted by: nicker Mar 1 2009, 05:50 PM
QUOTE (Solomon @ Mar 1 2009, 05:49 PM)
huh.gif You think I was trying...at all?

Not really. Want to realy know the grade a I got ya? teu42.gif

Posted by: Jailer411 Mar 1 2009, 05:50 PM
QUOTE (Solomon @ Mar 1 2009, 11:49 AM)
huh.gif You think I was trying...at all?

I think you bribed him.

Posted by: Solomon Mar 1 2009, 05:52 PM
QUOTE (nicker @ Mar 1 2009, 05:50 PM)
QUOTE (Solomon @ Mar 1 2009, 05:49 PM)
huh.gif  You think I was trying...at all?

Not really. Want to realy know the grade a I got ya? teu42.gif

No.

Posted by: Solomon Mar 1 2009, 05:52 PM
QUOTE (Jailer411 @ Mar 1 2009, 05:50 PM)
QUOTE (Solomon @ Mar 1 2009, 11:49 AM)
huh.gif  You think I was trying...at all?

I think you bribed him.

What are you talking about? That was a masterpiece!

Posted by: nicker Mar 1 2009, 05:52 PM
QUOTE (Solomon @ Mar 1 2009, 05:52 PM)
QUOTE (nicker @ Mar 1 2009, 05:50 PM)
QUOTE (Solomon @ Mar 1 2009, 05:49 PM)
huh.gif  You think I was trying...at all?

Not really. Want to realy know the grade a I got ya? teu42.gif

No.

..... a 0.

Posted by: Solomon Mar 1 2009, 05:54 PM
QUOTE (nicker @ Mar 1 2009, 05:52 PM)
QUOTE (Solomon @ Mar 1 2009, 05:52 PM)
QUOTE (nicker @ Mar 1 2009, 05:50 PM)
QUOTE (Solomon @ Mar 1 2009, 05:49 PM)
huh.gif  You think I was trying...at all?

Not really. Want to realy know the grade a I got ya? teu42.gif

No.

..... a 0.

biggrin.gif. laugh.gif

Posted by: nicker Mar 1 2009, 05:54 PM
QUOTE (Solomon @ Mar 1 2009, 05:54 PM)
QUOTE (nicker @ Mar 1 2009, 05:52 PM)
QUOTE (Solomon @ Mar 1 2009, 05:52 PM)
QUOTE (nicker @ Mar 1 2009, 05:50 PM)
QUOTE (Solomon @ Mar 1 2009, 05:49 PM)
huh.gif  You think I was trying...at all?

Not really. Want to realy know the grade a I got ya? teu42.gif

No.

..... a 0.

biggrin.gif. laugh.gif

Next time please show some effort.

Posted by: Solomon Mar 1 2009, 05:55 PM
laugh.gif laugh.gif laugh.gif laugh.gif Stop ND4 your killing me. laugh.gif laugh.gif laugh.gif

Posted by: nicker Mar 1 2009, 05:55 PM
QUOTE (Solomon @ Mar 1 2009, 05:55 PM)
laugh.gif laugh.gif laugh.gif laugh.gif Stop ND4 your killing me. laugh.gif laugh.gif laugh.gif

sad.gif sad.gif sad.gif Quit doubting me!!

Posted by: Jailer411 Mar 1 2009, 05:56 PM
Can your scale go into negatives?


Posted by: nicker Mar 1 2009, 05:56 PM
QUOTE (Jailer411 @ Mar 1 2009, 05:56 PM)
Can your scale go into negatives?

Only if they were like Solo's.

Posted by: Solomon Mar 1 2009, 05:56 PM
QUOTE (nicker @ Mar 1 2009, 05:55 PM)
QUOTE (Solomon @ Mar 1 2009, 05:55 PM)
laugh.gif  laugh.gif  laugh.gif  laugh.gif  Stop ND4 your killing me.  laugh.gif  laugh.gif  laugh.gif

sad.gif sad.gif sad.gif Quit doubting me!!

laugh.gif I'm sorry, but this is hilarious. laugh.gif laugh.gif laugh.gif


.... mellow.gif

Posted by: Marvel Man Mar 1 2009, 06:01 PM
I'll write something.

Soon. laugh.gif

Posted by: SilverSurfer092 Mar 1 2009, 06:15 PM
I'm SilverSurfer092.



Grade.

Posted by: Pseudonym Mar 1 2009, 06:29 PM
Marius quickly pulled his foot off the clutch and stomped the gas. The car lurched forward and stopped. Marius frowned as he tried again.

"F*ckin piece of sh*t" Marius screamed. The car wouldn't start. Because someone had put a bomb in it.

Marius's last word on planet Earth was "Sh*t"

GRADE NOW!

Posted by: nicker Mar 1 2009, 06:31 PM
QUOTE (Pseudonym @ Mar 1 2009, 06:29 PM)
Marius quickly pulled his foot off the clutch and stomped the gas. The car lurched forward and stopped. Marius frowned as he tried again.

"F*ckin piece of sh*t" Marius screamed. The car wouldn't start. Because someone had put a bomb in it.

Marius's last word on planet Earth was "Sh*t"

GRADE NOW!

Sliver

O sorry pal.


Da

3.

Posted by: Jailer411 Mar 1 2009, 06:32 PM
QUOTE (nicker @ Mar 1 2009, 12:31 PM)
QUOTE (Pseudonym @ Mar 1 2009, 06:29 PM)
Marius quickly pulled his foot off the clutch and stomped the gas. The car lurched forward and stopped. Marius frowned as he tried again.

"F*ckin piece of sh*t" Marius screamed. The car wouldn't start. Because someone had put a bomb in it.

Marius's last word on planet Earth was "Sh*t"

GRADE NOW!

Sliver

O sorry pal.


Da

3.

He gets a 30 for that?

Posted by: Pseudonym Mar 1 2009, 06:32 PM
that got a lower grade that solomon's!!

user posted image

Posted by: Jailer411 Mar 1 2009, 06:34 PM
QUOTE (Pseudonym @ Mar 1 2009, 12:32 PM)
that got a lower grade that solomon's!!

user posted image

I can see why, " That got a lower grade that solomon's!

Sorry, but I had to point that out laugh.gif

Posted by: Pseudonym Mar 1 2009, 06:35 PM
Silver's comment which is now my sig is sooooo apt.

My story had a conflict, a resolution and everything!

Posted by: nicker Mar 1 2009, 06:36 PM
QUOTE (Jailer411 @ Mar 1 2009, 06:32 PM)
QUOTE (nicker @ Mar 1 2009, 12:31 PM)
QUOTE (Pseudonym @ Mar 1 2009, 06:29 PM)
Marius quickly pulled his foot off the clutch and stomped the gas. The car lurched forward and stopped. Marius frowned as he tried again.

"F*ckin piece of sh*t" Marius screamed. The car wouldn't start. Because someone had put a bomb in it.

Marius's last word on planet Earth was "Sh*t"

GRADE NOW!

Sliver

O sorry pal.


Da

3.

He gets a 30 for that?

You know what Sexual Intercourse it. A 3 just means 3.

Posted by: Pseudonym Mar 1 2009, 06:39 PM
Nicker. You can't say Sexual Intercourse it to mathematics.

sorry bruh, that's just how it works.

Posted by: Jailer411 Mar 1 2009, 06:41 PM
QUOTE (nicker @ Mar 1 2009, 12:36 PM)

You know what Sexual Intercourse it. A 3 just means 3.

laugh.gif You tried to type the f word.

Posted by: Pseudonym Mar 1 2009, 06:42 PM
sorry bruh but

user posted image

Posted by: Jailer411 Mar 1 2009, 06:44 PM
QUOTE (Pseudonym @ Mar 1 2009, 12:42 PM)
sorry bruh but

user posted image

I think that we should stop trolling.

Posted by: SilverSurfer092 Mar 1 2009, 06:46 PM
QUOTE (Pseudonym @ Mar 1 2009, 06:35 PM)
Silver's comment which is now my sig is sooooo apt.

My story had a conflict, a resolution and everything!

Que es esto APT?

Posted by: Darkender Mar 1 2009, 06:50 PM
laugh.gif ND4 is trying to grade other people! laugh.gif

Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

Posted by: Pseudonym Mar 1 2009, 07:12 PM
QUOTE (SilverSurfer092 @ Mar 1 2009, 06:46 PM)
QUOTE (Pseudonym @ Mar 1 2009, 06:35 PM)
Silver's comment which is now my sig is sooooo apt.

My story had a conflict, a resolution and everything!

Que es esto APT?

Find a dictionary.

Posted by: Bassetman Mar 1 2009, 07:15 PM
First Page is MADE OF WIN. laugh.gif

Posted by: Solomon Mar 1 2009, 07:20 PM
QUOTE (Bassetman @ Mar 1 2009, 07:15 PM)
First Page is MADE OF WIN. laugh.gif

biggrin.gif

Posted by: Solomon Mar 1 2009, 07:23 PM
QUOTE (Pseudonym @ Mar 1 2009, 06:35 PM)
Silver's comment which is now my sig is sooooo apt.

My story had a conflict, a resolution and everything!

So did mine. biggrin.gif

Conflict: He had the last cookie.

Resolution: I shot him.

Posted by: SilverSurfer092 Mar 1 2009, 08:08 PM
QUOTE (Pseudonym @ Mar 1 2009, 07:12 PM)
QUOTE (SilverSurfer092 @ Mar 1 2009, 06:46 PM)
QUOTE (Pseudonym @ Mar 1 2009, 06:35 PM)
Silver's comment which is now my sig is sooooo apt.

My story had a conflict, a resolution and everything!

Que es esto APT?

Find a dictionary.

Oh. Ha. I didn't know people actually used somewhat intelligent words on this site. I thought you misspelled a word or something along those lines.

Posted by: granobulax Mar 1 2009, 11:40 PM
Here ya go nicker. I want you to grade Solomon and my last CBUB match colaboration. I'm quite interested in your response.

A storm had gathered over middle earth. The skies were set ablaze with streaks of burning white fire. The mountains trembled as the clouds erupted in orchestrated destruction. The darkness of the land stretched to all corners of the earth. Waters of change streamed down from the skies to the blackened soil below, leaving an assortment of scattered rivers that twisted and turned through the destiny of men.


However, the land was not silent as the heavens threatened to split open. The deafening clash of war battled with the crash of thunder, creating an onslaught of chaos from the winds of heaven, to the fires of hell. Screams of death, and of Pain erupted throughout the battlegrounds, shattering the fabric of peace, and tranquility. Their blood ran cold as it twisted through their veins, intensifying their murderous Psalm. The silent voices of surrender were obliterated by the wails of the dead, and the blood bath continued.

One voice cried out for help in the ever-maddening chaos. A gentle plea cast out amongst the heavens. Only the most valiant, vigilant, and sensitive beings in the vast cosmos would hear his call. Gandolf the grey, the once proud wizard, now lay in a pool of his own blood. Crimson rivers of life streaming away with deadly speed. With Gandolf’s last prayer came hope of retribution for the people of middle earth.

Peace. Years of freedom and prosperity glorified the Republic. Only bureaucracy stood in the way of total perfection within their society. Yoda had the sense for days now that something was awry. This feeling was now confirmed with the faintest of cries. At once, Yoda knew what he must do.

The aging Jedi Master opened his mind to the will of those long gone, and allowed them to carve a path before him. Without any farewells the renowned Master quickly sped away from the massive cluster of stars that he had known for so long. The hand of destiny and the will of fate guided his path across the murky sea of stars. Time passed without meaning, as Yoda’s galactic vessel seemed to divert the eye of divine intervention.

Yoda sensed the spark of life, blatantly extinguished from innumerable beings as his vessel screamed through the heavens on its way towards destiny. Never before had Yoda known such blatant darkness... such malevolence. Evil emanated from every pore of this planet’s surface.


Strangely, Yoda could sense a power other than the force covering this strange planet. This was a strange sort of power; subtly different than the force. He could feel an extreme conflict between the force and this evil magic surging all around him, sparking distraught and dire emotions deep within his soul.

As his feet hit the burnt wasteland of a civilization destroyed by a rift in the ocean of peace, Yoda felt a sensation of fear being sent through his spine. Deep sadness washed over him as he clutched at his heart. He heard the cries of the unjustified, and felt the tears of a land once peaceful. These emotions threatened to engulf the aging Jedi master but he soon remembered his long years of training and these feelings quickly fled his mind, only to be embedded deep within his consciousness. Yoda felt a pulse coming from the twisted castle in the distance, which towered above the forsaken grounds. Whatever he must do, it was there. He could feel it.

High above in a place that nearly touched the kingdom of the gods, but was probably closer to realms of hell stood the being responsible for all this destruction. He went by many names, but only could describe his true desire for chaos, Sauron. Sauron, holder of the ancient ring of lore felt Yoda’s presence, and now he waited for what he knew would be the end of all opposition to his reign, or the end to everything he desired.

At once, Sauron sent out the spawn of hell itself, the ring wraiths, to smite down upon the one to bring about his undoing. A subtle uneasiness spread throughout the nerves in his body, casting the first shred of doubt into the diabolical mind of the fallen angel. From atop his mighty tower, Sauron watched in astonishment as his beloved ring wraiths were slaughtered in battle. With firm conviction, he knew what must be done. None but he has the knowledge and power to down such a worthy foe. Grasping his mighty indestructible sword, he made haste towards the impending battle.

Upon the battlefield, the two faced each other. The tremendous conflicting powers shook the very ground as they closed in on each other. Sparks began to fly through the air as the atmosphere became charged with tension. Both warriors could sense the disruption of energies and a foreboding feeling of impending doom beat in the very core of their being. No words needed to be spoken. The magic and force defied each other as they flowed through the flesh of their hosts, threatening to rip the very fabric of space and time. All at once…

Blackness… then a blinding light rushed upon them in a whirl of confusion. No longer were they standing on the charred grounds of middle earth. A deal had been struck between the entities of force and magic. Yoda and Sauron would be their avatars in a battle of wits.

Posted by: Ethan Mar 1 2009, 11:48 PM
Um, ND4's how about you like get more thoughts into each thing you grade and pick out specific parts to grade for, like Solo to better decide a grade.


Posted by: Solomon Mar 2 2009, 02:03 AM
QUOTE (granobulax @ Mar 1 2009, 11:40 PM)
Here ya go nicker. I want you to grade Solomon and my last CBUB match colaboration. I'm quite interested in your response.

A storm had gathered over middle earth. The skies were set ablaze with streaks of burning white fire. The mountains trembled as the clouds erupted in orchestrated destruction. The darkness of the land stretched to all corners of the earth. Waters of change streamed down from the skies to the blackened soil below, leaving an assortment of scattered rivers that twisted and turned through the destiny of men.


However, the land was not silent as the heavens threatened to split open. The deafening clash of war battled with the crash of thunder, creating an onslaught of chaos from the winds of heaven, to the fires of hell. Screams of death, and of Pain erupted throughout the battlegrounds, shattering the fabric of peace, and tranquility. Their blood ran cold as it twisted through their veins, intensifying their murderous Psalm. The silent voices of surrender were obliterated by the wails of the dead, and the blood bath continued.

One voice cried out for help in the ever-maddening chaos. A gentle plea cast out amongst the heavens. Only the most valiant, vigilant, and sensitive beings in the vast cosmos would hear his call. Gandolf the grey, the once proud wizard, now lay in a pool of his own blood. Crimson rivers of life streaming away with deadly speed. With Gandolf’s last prayer came hope of retribution for the people of middle earth.

Peace. Years of freedom and prosperity glorified the Republic. Only bureaucracy stood in the way of total perfection within their society. Yoda had the sense for days now that something was awry. This feeling was now confirmed with the faintest of cries. At once, Yoda knew what he must do.

The aging Jedi Master opened his mind to the will of those long gone, and allowed them to carve a path before him. Without any farewells the renowned Master quickly sped away from the massive cluster of stars that he had known for so long. The hand of destiny and the will of fate guided his path across the murky sea of stars. Time passed without meaning, as Yoda’s galactic vessel seemed to divert the eye of divine intervention.

Yoda sensed the spark of life, blatantly extinguished from innumerable beings as his vessel screamed through the heavens on its way towards destiny. Never before had Yoda known such blatant darkness... such malevolence. Evil emanated from every pore of this planet’s surface.


Strangely, Yoda could sense a power other than the force covering this strange planet. This was a strange sort of power; subtly different than the force. He could feel an extreme conflict between the force and this  evil magic surging all around him, sparking distraught and dire emotions deep within his soul.

As his feet hit the burnt wasteland of a civilization destroyed by a rift in the ocean of peace, Yoda felt a sensation of fear being sent through his spine. Deep sadness washed over him as he clutched at his heart. He heard the cries of the unjustified, and felt the tears of a land once peaceful. These emotions threatened to engulf the aging Jedi master but he soon remembered his long years of training and these feelings quickly fled his mind, only to be embedded deep within his consciousness. Yoda felt a pulse coming from the twisted castle in the distance, which towered above the forsaken grounds. Whatever he must do, it was there. He could feel it.

High above in a place that nearly touched the kingdom of the gods, but was probably closer to realms of hell stood the being responsible for all this destruction. He went by many names, but only could describe his true desire for chaos, Sauron. Sauron, holder of the ancient ring of lore felt Yoda’s presence, and now he waited for what he knew would be the end of all opposition to his reign, or the end to everything he desired.

At once, Sauron sent out the spawn of hell itself, the ring wraiths, to smite down upon the one to bring about his undoing. A subtle uneasiness spread throughout the nerves in his body, casting the first shred of doubt into the diabolical mind of the fallen angel. From atop his mighty tower, Sauron watched in astonishment as his beloved ring wraiths were slaughtered in battle. With firm conviction, he knew what must be done. None but he has the knowledge and power to down such a worthy foe. Grasping his mighty indestructible sword, he made haste towards the impending battle.

Upon the battlefield, the two faced each other. The tremendous conflicting powers shook the very ground as they closed in on each other. Sparks began to fly through the air as the atmosphere became charged with tension. Both warriors could sense the disruption of energies and a foreboding feeling of impending doom beat in the very core of their being. No words needed to be spoken. The magic and force defied each other as they flowed through the flesh of their hosts, threatening to rip the very fabric of space and time. All at once…

Blackness… then a blinding light rushed upon them in a whirl of confusion. No longer were they standing on the charred grounds of middle earth. A deal had been struck between the entities of force and magic. Yoda and Sauron would be their avatars in a battle of wits.


That's not the whole thing.

Here's the rest of it:

Separated from their physical selves, the two bastions of power floated within a swirling vortex of the universal soul. It was the confrontation point of all that had been, and all that will be. This was a place far beyond the reaches of life; the birthplace of creation, and the beacon of death.

It was here that the representatives of light, and dark would confront each other. Powers surged through their souls, before being released in a collision of epic destruction. A fire burned within them; a passion emulated by the resounding sense of the end. Their minds…their souls colliding through symbols of their desires, and their hopes. Creation, and destruction, Life, and death, Love, and hate, the beginning, and the end; it was here that the fate of all would be decided.

Posted by: nicker Mar 2 2009, 04:02 AM
QUOTE (granobulax @ Mar 1 2009, 11:40 PM)
Here ya go nicker. I want you to grade Solomon and my last CBUB match colaboration. I'm quite interested in your response.

A storm had gathered over middle earth. The skies were set ablaze with streaks of burning white fire. The mountains trembled as the clouds erupted in orchestrated destruction. The darkness of the land stretched to all corners of the earth. Waters of change streamed down from the skies to the blackened soil below, leaving an assortment of scattered rivers that twisted and turned through the destiny of men.


However, the land was not silent as the heavens threatened to split open. The deafening clash of war battled with the crash of thunder, creating an onslaught of chaos from the winds of heaven, to the fires of hell. Screams of death, and of Pain erupted throughout the battlegrounds, shattering the fabric of peace, and tranquility. Their blood ran cold as it twisted through their veins, intensifying their murderous Psalm. The silent voices of surrender were obliterated by the wails of the dead, and the blood bath continued.

One voice cried out for help in the ever-maddening chaos. A gentle plea cast out amongst the heavens. Only the most valiant, vigilant, and sensitive beings in the vast cosmos would hear his call. Gandolf the grey, the once proud wizard, now lay in a pool of his own blood. Crimson rivers of life streaming away with deadly speed. With Gandolf’s last prayer came hope of retribution for the people of middle earth.

Peace. Years of freedom and prosperity glorified the Republic. Only bureaucracy stood in the way of total perfection within their society. Yoda had the sense for days now that something was awry. This feeling was now confirmed with the faintest of cries. At once, Yoda knew what he must do.

The aging Jedi Master opened his mind to the will of those long gone, and allowed them to carve a path before him. Without any farewells the renowned Master quickly sped away from the massive cluster of stars that he had known for so long. The hand of destiny and the will of fate guided his path across the murky sea of stars. Time passed without meaning, as Yoda’s galactic vessel seemed to divert the eye of divine intervention.

Yoda sensed the spark of life, blatantly extinguished from innumerable beings as his vessel screamed through the heavens on its way towards destiny. Never before had Yoda known such blatant darkness... such malevolence. Evil emanated from every pore of this planet’s surface.


Strangely, Yoda could sense a power other than the force covering this strange planet. This was a strange sort of power; subtly different than the force. He could feel an extreme conflict between the force and this evil magic surging all around him, sparking distraught and dire emotions deep within his soul.

As his feet hit the burnt wasteland of a civilization destroyed by a rift in the ocean of peace, Yoda felt a sensation of fear being sent through his spine. Deep sadness washed over him as he clutched at his heart. He heard the cries of the unjustified, and felt the tears of a land once peaceful. These emotions threatened to engulf the aging Jedi master but he soon remembered his long years of training and these feelings quickly fled his mind, only to be embedded deep within his consciousness. Yoda felt a pulse coming from the twisted castle in the distance, which towered above the forsaken grounds. Whatever he must do, it was there. He could feel it.

High above in a place that nearly touched the kingdom of the gods, but was probably closer to realms of hell stood the being responsible for all this destruction. He went by many names, but only could describe his true desire for chaos, Sauron. Sauron, holder of the ancient ring of lore felt Yoda’s presence, and now he waited for what he knew would be the end of all opposition to his reign, or the end to everything he desired.

At once, Sauron sent out the spawn of hell itself, the ring wraiths, to smite down upon the one to bring about his undoing. A subtle uneasiness spread throughout the nerves in his body, casting the first shred of doubt into the diabolical mind of the fallen angel. From atop his mighty tower, Sauron watched in astonishment as his beloved ring wraiths were slaughtered in battle. With firm conviction, he knew what must be done. None but he has the knowledge and power to down such a worthy foe. Grasping his mighty indestructible sword, he made haste towards the impending battle.

Upon the battlefield, the two faced each other. The tremendous conflicting powers shook the very ground as they closed in on each other. Sparks began to fly through the air as the atmosphere became charged with tension. Both warriors could sense the disruption of energies and a foreboding feeling of impending doom beat in the very core of their being. No words needed to be spoken. The magic and force defied each other as they flowed through the flesh of their hosts, threatening to rip the very fabric of space and time. All at once…

Blackness… then a blinding light rushed upon them in a whirl of confusion. No longer were they standing on the charred grounds of middle earth. A deal had been struck between the entities of force and magic. Yoda and Sauron would be their avatars in a battle of wits.



Idea: Great. You and Solo should make a sequal to this.

Spelling mistakes: Didnt notice any.

Despritcon: Awsome superb.

All in all a 75 : a good story.

Posted by: treacherous Mar 2 2009, 04:43 AM
Look at ND4 grading. He's growing up, right before our eyes.

Posted by: Marvel Man Mar 2 2009, 05:11 AM
QUOTE (treacherous @ Mar 2 2009, 04:43 AM)
Look at ND4 grading. He's growing up, right before our eyes.

I bet ND4's gonna be a great writer one day...

Posted by: Bassetman Mar 2 2009, 05:32 AM
Well, he's what now, 12, 11?

I guess he has time.

Posted by: granobulax Mar 2 2009, 10:22 AM
To nicker: Nice review! I look foward to more from ya!

To Solomon: Thanks for adding the rest of the story. I must have saved an incomplete version on my computer. I'll have to update it.

To treacherous: Yep, he seems to grow up a little more each day. Remember ND4's first match on CBUB? Cujo vs Bule (Blue laugh.gif )?

Posted by: treacherous Mar 2 2009, 03:50 PM
To me, that was his best one ever.

Posted by: granobulax Mar 3 2009, 12:53 AM
It's too bad ND4 didn't save that match. I would love to read it right about now laugh.gif

Posted by: MarvelFan15 Mar 13 2009, 10:32 PM
QUOTE (granobulax @ Mar 3 2009, 12:53 AM)
It's too bad ND4 didn't save that match. I would love to read it right about now laugh.gif

How did it go?

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