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Title: Superman vs Kenny's Jacket
Description: WRitten for CBUB, a LONG time ago.

Pseudonym - March 21, 2009 06:20 PM (GMT)
Superman vs Kenny’s jacket.

Stan and Cartman were arguing on the playground.

“Dude, superman does not have his own version of the Bat-signal.” Stan said.

“Yes he does” Cartman yelled, “How does he know when someone is in trouble?”

“I don’t know, super-hearing?”

“Mmmhmmhmhm” Kenny interjected.

“That’s a good idea Kenny” Stan said “Why don’t you prove it fatass.”

“Don’t call me a fatass, you F*c*in J**” Cartman yelled

“Well, why don’t you prove it?” Kyle asked.

A couple hours later, at night-time the four boys arrived in the playground.

“Kenny survived through the day!” Kyle said.

“Oh my god, they didn’t kill Kenny!” Stan exclaimed.

Later that day, the boys set up a flashlight and pointed it toward the sky.

“Now put your fingers in front of it.” Kyle said. “No, not like that you t*rd.”

Eventually, a large S shone in the sky. Superman, by some unknown force, was pulled into the south park dimension. His head grew, and his legs stuck together so he couldn’t run. He arrived in front of four boys.

“OH…my…god” Stan turned to Eric. “You were right?”

Suddenly a man in a mask and a black outfit jumped from the bushes aiming a gun at Cartman. Kenny leapt, screaming incomprehensibly. Seventeen bullets embedded themselves in his ribs before he fell crashing to the floor. The assassin fled. Superman, distraught, runs to go check on the dead child. In Kenny’s honor, Superman decides to don Kenny’s jacket.

-Superman must make it through the first 5 seasons of South Park
-His abilities have been reduced from superhuman to peak human.
-I’m sorry if I have offended anyone, I didn’t mean to.
-Superman also has to not kill anyone and keep his sanity.
-Not only does the parka bring bad luck upon its wearer, but for some reason (only for this match) it binds him to Cartman, so Supes has to not go crazy from Cartman’s bigot-y remarks.

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