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Haven Of Wiidom > Rantings and Ravings > School 1957 vs 2007


Title: School 1957 vs 2007
Description: Awsomeness


Samus X - February 2, 2008 06:24 AM (GMT)
This is from an e-mail my uncle sent to my dad, funny as hell.

Scenario #1: Jack goes quail hunting before school, pulls into school parking lot with shotgun in rack.

1957 - Vice principle comes over, looks at Jack's shotgun, goes to his car, and gets his own shotgun to show Jack.

2007 - School goes into lockdown, the FBI is called, Jack is hauled off to jail and never sees his truck or gun again. Counselors are called in to assist traumatized students and teachers.

Scenario #2: Johnny and Mark get into a fistfight after school.

1957 - Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up buddies.

2007 - Police are called, SWAT team arrives and arrests Johnny and Mark. They are charged with assault and both are expelled even though Johnny started it.

Scenario #3: Jeffrey won't sit still in class, disrupts other students.

1957 - Jeffrey is sent to the principal's office and given a good paddling. He returns to class, sits still, and does not disrupt class again.

2007 - Jeffrey is given huge doses of Ritalin, becomes a zombie, and is tested for ADD. The school gets extra state funding because Jeffrey has a disability.

Scenario #4: Billy breaks a window in his neighbor's car and his dad gives him a whipping with his belt.

1957 - Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college, and becomes a successful businessman.

2007 - Billy's dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy is removed to foster care and joins a gang. State psychologist tells Billy's sister that she remembers being abused herself and their dad goes to prison. Billy's mom has an affair with the psychologist.

Scenario #5: Mark gets a headache and takes some Aspirin to school.

1957 - Mark shares Aspirin with the school principle out on the smoking dock.

2007 - Police are called and Mark is expelled from school for drug violations. His car is searched for drugs and weapons.

Scenario #6: Pedro fails high-school English.

1957 - Pedro goes to summer school, passes English, goes to college.

2007 - Pedro's cause is taken up by local human rights group. Newspaper articles appear nationally explaining that making English a requirement for graduation is racist. US Civil Liberties Association files class action lawsuit against state school system and Pedro's English teacher. English is banned from core curriculum. Pedro is given his diploma anyway but ends up mowing lawns for a living because he cannot speak English.

Scenario #7: Johnny takes apart leftover Independance Day firecrackers, puts them in a model airplane paint bottle and blows up an anthill.

1957 - Ants die.

2007 - Homeland Security and the FBI are called and Johnny is charged with domestic terrorism. Teams investigate parents, siblings are removed from home, computers are confiscated, and Johnny's dad goes on terror watch list and is never allowed to fly again.

Scenario #8: Johnny falls during recess and scrapes his knee. His teacher, Mary, finds him crying and gives him a hug to comfort him.

1957 - Johnny soon feels better and goes back to playing.

2007 - Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces three years in federal prison. Johnny undergoes five years of therapy.



Is'nt progress wonderful?

(Originally posted by Godzilla_Addict on another forum)

The Ripper - February 2, 2008 04:08 PM (GMT)
I guess fifty years later, we got stupider. :rolleyes:

Wingman - February 2, 2008 04:33 PM (GMT)
While some of this is necessary in extreme situations (like Columbine instances), most of this is dumb. I mean, a girl got, not suspended, EXPELLED from her school for bring a butter knife to school in her lunch. A BUTTER KNIFE. And my local school got metal detectors after the Thanksgiving Break and started searching students' bags after fake bomb threats and rumors circulated via text messaging and such. Because the students blew the "crisis" up into much more than it actually was, the school just decided to give them Thanksgiving vacation starting the Friday before Thanksgiving week, not the Tuesday OF Thanksgiving week. The students won't have to make up that time at the end of the year, either. Now, you can't even enter my school after 8:00 o' clock in the morning for almost ANY reason, and kids aren't allowed to leave the area until school lets out. And don't get me started about Spanish in schools and "sexual predators". You live here, you learn, friggin', ENGLISH!!

DataSnake - February 2, 2008 06:27 PM (GMT)
QUOTE (Wingman @ Feb 2 2008, 04:33 PM)
And don't get me started about Spanish in schools and "sexual predators". You live here, you learn, friggin', ENGLISH!!

... :blink:
I think most sexual predators already know english.

Wingman - February 3, 2008 12:42 PM (GMT)
QUOTE (DataSnake @ Feb 2 2008, 01:27 PM)
QUOTE (Wingman @ Feb 2 2008, 04:33 PM)
And don't get me started about Spanish in schools and "sexual predators". You live here, you learn, friggin', ENGLISH!!

... :blink:
I think most sexual predators already know english.

I know. That comment at the end was referring to all those Mexicans who don't know Spanish. I have a joke, if you want to hear it.

A Japanese, a Mexican, and an American were standing at the door of a plane, which was in the air, flying. The Japanese takes a pair of chopsticks, throws them out of the plane, and says, "We have too many of these in my country!". The Mexican takes a pair of maracas, throws them out of the plane, says, "We have too many of these in my country!"

The American grabs the Mexican, throws him out of the plane, says, "We have too many of THESE in my country!"

The Ripper - February 3, 2008 05:02 PM (GMT)
Very funny, Wingman!

Two Mexicans were in a car. Who was driving?

THE COP!

Wingman - February 3, 2008 05:06 PM (GMT)
QUOTE (The Ripper @ Feb 3 2008, 12:02 PM)
Very funny, Wingman!

Two Mexicans were in a car. Who was driving?

THE COP!

That's great, Ripper!! :)

DataSnake - February 3, 2008 08:06 PM (GMT)
QUOTE (Wingman @ Feb 3 2008, 05:06 PM)
QUOTE (The Ripper @ Feb 3 2008, 12:02 PM)
Very funny, Wingman!

Two Mexicans were in a car.  Who was driving?

THE COP!

That's great, Ripper!! :)

Why doesn't Mexico do better in the Olympics?
All the Mexicans who can run, jump and swim are in the US!

Wingman - February 3, 2008 08:26 PM (GMT)
QUOTE (DataSnake @ Feb 3 2008, 03:06 PM)
QUOTE (Wingman @ Feb 3 2008, 05:06 PM)
QUOTE (The Ripper @ Feb 3 2008, 12:02 PM)
Very funny, Wingman!

Two Mexicans were in a car.  Who was driving?

THE COP!

That's great, Ripper!! :)

Why doesn't Mexico do better in the Olympics?
All the Mexicans who can run, jump and swim are in the US!

Another good one! We need to set up a jokes forum. :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

The Ripper - February 3, 2008 09:09 PM (GMT)
Great idea!

*gives two thumbs up*

Wingman - February 5, 2008 03:54 PM (GMT)
QUOTE (The Ripper @ Feb 3 2008, 04:09 PM)
Great idea!

*gives two thumbs up*

Thanx!




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