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Title: Harold & Kumar vs. Evil Pokemon cast.


Phalanx - July 27, 2008 05:31 AM (GMT)
((This is a sequel match to Eris vs. Harold & Kumar from my 17th birthday, so get ready, folks and I must warn you folks that there is one brief sexual scene in this set-up and this fight is in no way intended to offend pokemon fans, so no vehement complaints, please))

As we left off, Harold and & Kumar were out of their apartment door and were about to face off their journey to retrieve the Book of Peace.

5 days later with just a half an hour left.

Harold and Kumar finally made it to the last obstacle and they found the Book of Peace secluded behind a series of fences with barbed wires on top.

Kumar: This is it, Roldy, mankind's fate depends entirely on us now.

Harold: You got that right, dude.

Harold and kumar found a toolshed nearby and digged into a pile of tools to find a way to cut through the fence.

Kumar: Hey roldy, we're going to need a gas burner or a chainsaw to get through this fence. Think! Think!

Harold: Found it!

Kumar: Thanks, now while you try to cut through the fence with it, would you also mind using your gas burner on my bag of weed?

Harold: Kumar, you are an idiot to the end. *burns it anyway*

Kumar: Oh yeah that's the stuff.

Harold and Kumar got so high on the burning bag of weed, they began to "fantasize".

--Ecstasy-related Fantasy begins--

Harold and Kumar seemed to be in a peaceful plain where birds and flying weed appeared.

Harold: Hey, Kumar, are we in heaven?

Kumar: No s**t, roldy, we are in a place that's quite possibly better than it.

Out of nowhere, a familiar hispanic female figure came walking towards the duo.

Maria:

Harold: OH MY GOD, is that you Maria?

"Maria": Yes it is me, papi. I need you, harold.

Harold: Absolutely, Maria.

When "Maria" was only a feet away from hugging Harold, "Maria" took off her dress and revealed herself to once again be:

ERIS!

Harold screamed in a shocked manner as he saw it was Eris under his fiance's disguise.

Harold & Kumar: ERIS?!

Eris: *maniacally laughs* Oh naive mortals. You and your so-called fantasies of women.

Harold: On second thought, since Maria's already going to amsterdam, who needs her?!

Kumar: Yeah, you're all we need!

Eris: That's right. You can spend all the nights with me if you have the Book of Peace with you.

Kumar: Uh yeah we do. It's just that uhhh...

Harold: *uses hammerspace to pull out the Book of Peace* I have it, Miss Eris.

Eris: Excellent. Now why don't we all spend our night in another world outside Earth? How about Mars? Venus? The Moon? Mercury? Jupiter?

Kumar: What do you think Roldy?

Harold: I dunno. I just love the Earth too much, but I heard Eris has a new planet of her own.

Eris: Oh yes that new dwarf planet your mortal scientists from Earth have discovered?

Harold: Why yes.

Eris: Very well we shall go there and aftewards spread some chaos to Earth and rest of the cosmos.

Eris transported Harold and Kumar to planet eris which is much farther from the Sun than the former key planet Pluto.

Eris: I want both of you inside me.

Harold: Deja Vu. This is still doing it with Freakshow's Wife again, only it's 10 times better and there's no ugly freak to interfere.

In no time at all, Eris seductively licks both Harold and Kumar on their bare arms.

Harold and Kumar did not enjoy it as it seemed to scald their skin, until they realized...

--End of Estasy-related Fantasy--

that it was all a dream and when they woke up, they found out their arms were burning from all the fire spread from the weed.

Harold: AH! AH! AH! AHHHH! IT BURNS! PUT IT OUT!

Kumar: Just stop, drop, and roll, man!

Harold and Kumar had no time to try out and douse the fire, since they have a book to catch.

There was just one minute left.

Harold and Kumar had put all their effort to cut through the fence and they finally reached the Book of Peace.

Or had they?

the Book of Peace was almost in their grasp til it fell over the pedestal and the time was up.

Eris shown up in front of them in colossal size.

Eris: YOU!!!!!!!!! FAILED. ME.

Harold: Oh man, we were so F___ing close.

Kumar: and now the world and humanity is fucked because of us.

Eris: Oh not quite, Harold and Kumar. You might have failed your goal somewhat, but you have shown the valor and guts even Sinbad never had.

Harold: Who's Sinbad?

Eris: Just some arabian sailor whom I've tried to get him to bring back the book of peace back to me. Gee, that man was such a spoiled fraud. You two on the other hand were actually willing to serve me when you tried to get the book back to me, so I guess I'll give you two another chance to redeem yourselves. It was so fun to see you two suffer so hard.

Harold: So you're not going to blow up Earth?

Eris: Of course not. I lied. Without your beautiful Earth, where will I be able to spread most of my chaos?

Kumar: You just wanted to see us fail all along.

Eris: Yes, but right now that's besides the point. Now I shall give you two a new challenge.

Harold: What will it be?

Eris: Oh you see. There's this little craze called Pokemon which I think is so annoying and I feel like I want to cause chaos towards it.

Harold: But sir, they're just children's shows and toys.

Eris: Oh I'm not going to wipe out all the Pokemon, I'm just going to put you in a TV, where I will get to see you two fight the cast of Pokemon, only with my twist.

Kumar: So you want us to venture into an anime world and fight off the cast?

Eris: Yes, everytime I watch "Pokemon", that Ash and his two friends are such dumbasses. I want to see you two fight them off for me.

Harold and Kumar: In exchange for?

Eris: Sparing your city much chaos and I'll let you hold the book of peace for me for a week, until you give it back to me.

Harold: Not exactly the reward I'm expecting, but a goal is a goal.

Eris materialized a television out of nowhere and put them into the screen where the Pokemon anime starts.

In the Pokemon world, something went wrong.

Ash Ketchum and the heroes cast appeared to be evil and Team rocket and the rest of the pokevillians are twice as evil.

The duo was on the road to Saffron City.

Harold and Kumar saw a band of menacing pokemon and the evil pokemon trainers walking towards them.

Ash Ketchum: I need blood lol!

Brock: Me too! Their blood will be delicious.

Kumar: We're in for it, Roldy.

Harold: Time to kick ass.

Eris watches the TV from space.

Eris: This is going to be my only favorite episode of pokemon gone wrong.

Following fights they'll have to go through:

1. Fight off 10 Pikachu's.

2. Fight off 3 charizards, 3 blastoises, 3 venusaurs.

3. Fight off Meowth with a plasma rifle.

4. Fight off Jesse and James with chainsaws and rocket launchers.

5. Fight off evil Ash Ketchum, Misty, and Brock with machine guns, katana's, and grenades.

6. Bonus match - Fight off Giovanni with a big sword and a missile launcher

7. Bonus match - Fight off a bloodlusted Mewtwo (no telekinetic shield or mindrape for mewtwo and weak points apply on the vital points)

Rules: Harold and Kumar must complete at least 4 out of 7 matches to win the fight. If they complete both of the bonus matches, they get to have an unlimited amount of white castle burgers, fries, onion rings, and coke for 1 day.

Harold and Kumar each have the following weapon/equipment:

-a master sword with partial power of a small sun,

-two handguns w/unlimited ammo

-3 hand grenades

-a rocket launcher with up to 3 hits

-near-bulletproof armor covering their chests, knees, upper back, and front face (other parts are vulnerable).

How many matches can Harold and Kumar win against the evil twisted version of the pokemon cast?

A vote for Harold & Kumar is a vote for Harold & kumar and a vote for Ash Ketchum is a vote for the evil pokemon cast.

This fight posted by: Phalanx Blood

IonKidMax - July 27, 2008 10:38 PM (GMT)
Every one Dies cause there too high.lol.

Phalanx - July 28, 2008 12:58 AM (GMT)
QUOTE (IonKidMax @ Jul 27 2008, 10:38 PM)
Every one Dies cause there too high.lol.

But describe how challenge should go. How many rounds can they win? Remember, if both bonus matches were included in their wins, they get to have an unlimited white castle meal for day, though that's assuming if they had passed.

IonKidMax - July 28, 2008 02:13 AM (GMT)
QUOTE (Phalanx @ Jul 28 2008, 12:58 AM)
QUOTE (IonKidMax @ Jul 27 2008, 10:38 PM)
Every one Dies cause there too high.lol.

But describe how challenge should go. How many rounds can they win? Remember, if both bonus matches were included in their wins, they get to have an unlimited white castle meal for day, though that's assuming if they had passed.

well the only challenge Is mewtwo since ash and the gang are just kids.Team rocket even If they are evil are still stupid.But guns beat pokemon 99% of the time.

Phalanx - July 28, 2008 11:53 PM (GMT)
QUOTE (IonKidMax @ Jul 28 2008, 02:13 AM)
QUOTE (Phalanx @ Jul 28 2008, 12:58 AM)
QUOTE (IonKidMax @ Jul 27 2008, 10:38 PM)
Every one Dies cause there too high.lol.

But describe how challenge should go. How many rounds can they win? Remember, if both bonus matches were included in their wins, they get to have an unlimited white castle meal for day, though that's assuming if they had passed.

well the only challenge Is mewtwo since ash and the gang are just kids.Team rocket even If they are evil are still stupid. But guns beat pokemon 99% of the time.

Except for the high-tier legendaries or the steel-type, rock-type, or whatever extremely durable pokemon like metagross and dialga there are.

IonKidMax - July 29, 2008 10:19 PM (GMT)
QUOTE (Phalanx @ Jul 28 2008, 11:53 PM)
QUOTE (IonKidMax @ Jul 28 2008, 02:13 AM)
QUOTE (Phalanx @ Jul 28 2008, 12:58 AM)
QUOTE (IonKidMax @ Jul 27 2008, 10:38 PM)
Every one Dies cause there too high.lol.

But describe how challenge should go. How many rounds can they win? Remember, if both bonus matches were included in their wins, they get to have an unlimited white castle meal for day, though that's assuming if they had passed.

well the only challenge Is mewtwo since ash and the gang are just kids.Team rocket even If they are evil are still stupid. But guns beat pokemon 99% of the time.

Except for the high-tier legendaries or the steel-type, rock-type, or whatever extremely durable pokemon like metagross and dialga there are.

How do you spell tuce?

Phalanx - July 31, 2008 06:30 PM (GMT)
QUOTE (IonKidMax @ Jul 29 2008, 10:19 PM)
QUOTE (Phalanx @ Jul 28 2008, 11:53 PM)
QUOTE (IonKidMax @ Jul 28 2008, 02:13 AM)
QUOTE (Phalanx @ Jul 28 2008, 12:58 AM)
QUOTE (IonKidMax @ Jul 27 2008, 10:38 PM)
Every one Dies cause there too high.lol.

But describe how challenge should go. How many rounds can they win? Remember, if both bonus matches were included in their wins, they get to have an unlimited white castle meal for day, though that's assuming if they had passed.

well the only challenge Is mewtwo since ash and the gang are just kids.Team rocket even If they are evil are still stupid. But guns beat pokemon 99% of the time.

Except for the high-tier legendaries or the steel-type, rock-type, or whatever extremely durable pokemon like metagross and dialga there are.

How do you spell tuce?

you mean "truce" right?

darkender - July 31, 2008 06:31 PM (GMT)
someone should put this back in gauntlet.

Phalanx - July 31, 2008 06:32 PM (GMT)
QUOTE (darkender @ Jul 31 2008, 06:31 PM)
someone should put this back in gauntlet.

fine you move it.

darkender - July 31, 2008 06:35 PM (GMT)
QUOTE (Phalanx @ Jul 31 2008, 06:32 PM)
QUOTE (darkender @ Jul 31 2008, 06:31 PM)
someone should put this back in gauntlet.

fine you move it.

ok

Phalanx - July 31, 2008 06:39 PM (GMT)
Now I wish someone could just read the set-up and comment on this gauntlet match already.

darkender - July 31, 2008 06:46 PM (GMT)
QUOTE (Phalanx @ Jul 31 2008, 06:39 PM)
Now I wish someone could just read the set-up and comment on this gauntlet match already.

i would comment but i dont know harold and kumar that much i only saw like 1 of there movies.

Phalanx - July 31, 2008 06:53 PM (GMT)
QUOTE (darkender @ Jul 31 2008, 06:46 PM)
QUOTE (Phalanx @ Jul 31 2008, 06:39 PM)
Now I wish someone could just read the set-up and comment on this gauntlet match already.

i would comment but i dont know harold and kumar that much i only saw like 1 of there movies.

If you saw only one of their movies, you've known them enough, especially "Go to White Castle".

darkender - July 31, 2008 06:56 PM (GMT)
QUOTE (Phalanx @ Jul 31 2008, 06:53 PM)
QUOTE (darkender @ Jul 31 2008, 06:46 PM)
QUOTE (Phalanx @ Jul 31 2008, 06:39 PM)
Now I wish someone could just read the set-up and comment on this gauntlet match already.

i would comment but i dont know harold and kumar that much i only saw like 1 of there movies.

If you saw only one of their movies, you've known them enough, especially "Go to White Castle".

yea thats the one i guess i can put wat i think. I dont think they can beat the pokemon with wat u gave them to fight with.

Phalanx - July 31, 2008 07:07 PM (GMT)
QUOTE (darkender @ Jul 31 2008, 06:56 PM)
QUOTE (Phalanx @ Jul 31 2008, 06:53 PM)
QUOTE (darkender @ Jul 31 2008, 06:46 PM)
QUOTE (Phalanx @ Jul 31 2008, 06:39 PM)
Now I wish someone could just read the set-up and comment on this gauntlet match already.

i would comment but i dont know harold and kumar that much i only saw like 1 of there movies.

If you saw only one of their movies, you've known them enough, especially "Go to White Castle".

yea thats the one i guess i can put wat i think. I dont think they can beat the pokemon with wat u gave them to fight with.

But it's guns, limited armor, grenades, rocket launcher, and a master sword. That's four weapons and one armor they have on their side.

so how would each round go?

darkender - July 31, 2008 07:16 PM (GMT)
QUOTE (Phalanx @ Jul 31 2008, 07:07 PM)
QUOTE (darkender @ Jul 31 2008, 06:56 PM)
QUOTE (Phalanx @ Jul 31 2008, 06:53 PM)
QUOTE (darkender @ Jul 31 2008, 06:46 PM)
QUOTE (Phalanx @ Jul 31 2008, 06:39 PM)
Now I wish someone could just read the set-up and comment on this gauntlet match already.

i would comment but i dont know harold and kumar that much i only saw like 1 of there movies.

If you saw only one of their movies, you've known them enough, especially "Go to White Castle".

yea thats the one i guess i can put wat i think. I dont think they can beat the pokemon with wat u gave them to fight with.

But it's guns, limited armor, grenades, rocket launcher, and a master sword. That's four weapons and one armor they have on their side.

so how would each round go?

1. Fight off 10 Pikachu's.
Okay I think they would get a couple of the them out with their guns but one will just hit em with ligtning.

2. Fight off 3 charizards, 3 blastoises, 3 venusaurs.
I think with that sword u gave them they would take out the venasaurs but the charizards would burn em alive from the air.
3. Fight off Meowth with a plasma rifle.
Mewtwo would mindrape them
4. Fight off Jesse and James with chainsaws and rocket launchers.
they would kill those idiots. they have unlimited ammo
5. Fight off evil Ash Ketchum, Misty, and Brock with machine guns, katana's, and grenades.
well since they have armor i think they could beat em with the unlimited
6. Bonus match - Fight off Giovanni with a big sword and a missile launcher
their sword are better they win
7. Bonus match - Fight off a bloodlusted Mewtwo (no telekinetic shield or mindrape for mewtwo and weak points apply on the vital points)
well since u took away his powers i guess mewtwo loses.

Phalanx - July 31, 2008 08:16 PM (GMT)
QUOTE (darkender @ Jul 31 2008, 07:16 PM)
QUOTE (Phalanx @ Jul 31 2008, 07:07 PM)
QUOTE (darkender @ Jul 31 2008, 06:56 PM)
QUOTE (Phalanx @ Jul 31 2008, 06:53 PM)
QUOTE (darkender @ Jul 31 2008, 06:46 PM)
QUOTE (Phalanx @ Jul 31 2008, 06:39 PM)
Now I wish someone could just read the set-up and comment on this gauntlet match already.

i would comment but i dont know harold and kumar that much i only saw like 1 of there movies.

If you saw only one of their movies, you've known them enough, especially "Go to White Castle".

yea thats the one i guess i can put wat i think. I dont think they can beat the pokemon with wat u gave them to fight with.

But it's guns, limited armor, grenades, rocket launcher, and a master sword. That's four weapons and one armor they have on their side.

so how would each round go?

1. Fight off 10 Pikachu's.
Okay I think they would get a couple of the them out with their guns but one will just hit em with ligtning.

2. Fight off 3 charizards, 3 blastoises, 3 venusaurs.
I think with that sword u gave them they would take out the venasaurs but the charizards would burn em alive from the air.
3. Fight off Meowth with a plasma rifle.
Mewtwo would mindrape them
4. Fight off Jesse and James with chainsaws and rocket launchers.
they would kill those idiots. they have unlimited ammo
5. Fight off evil Ash Ketchum, Misty, and Brock with machine guns, katana's, and grenades.
well since they have armor i think they could beat em with the unlimited
6. Bonus match - Fight off Giovanni with a big sword and a missile launcher
their sword are better they win
7. Bonus match - Fight off a bloodlusted Mewtwo (no telekinetic shield or mindrape for mewtwo and weak points apply on the vital points)
well since u took away his powers i guess mewtwo loses.

For number 3, you confused Meowth for mewtwo.

Also, even without telekinetic shield or mindrape, Mewtwo is still pretty hard to hit and is tough like hell.




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