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 Times, they are changing, Tag Castiel (Maybe Dean later on)
CHUCK SHURLEY
Posted: Oct 3 2010, 10:41 PM


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Joined: 3-October 10





THEN

It was starting. Chuck could see it, of course, his visions were growing less and less by the minute. He could feel them fading as the angels slowly had left Earth. He knew they wouldn’t last much longer. It was here. Croation. He was in the middle of locking up his house. Not sure of what to do. He knew he had to find Dean and Sam and FAST. He quickly boarded up his house before anything else came to home.


Chuck took what he could with him. He saw a vision of Dean leading a camp. Some camp out in the boonies somewhere, but Chuck was able to find where it was pretty quickly.


He quickly gabbed his things and left. Right as he was leaving he saw an explosion hit his house. He was fairly surprised as he saw his house get completely destroyed. He frowned looking around at his neighborhood. Everything was completely destroyed.



NOW

Chuck paced back and forth at Dean’s camp. The memories he had were seeping into him like crazy. He knew it was MAKING him crazy. They weren’t really visions anymore, mostly just memories. Not good ones at that. He sighed as he walked around the camp checking out the different areas and making sure they had plenty of supplies. That seemed to be his job, was supplies.

They were always running low though. What else would they need besides toilet paper? That seemed to be the most important thing and they were almost out of it again.

Chuck missed writing. He wanted more then anything then to be able to write what he could when he could. Even if he didn’t have the visions anymore he still wrote about what was happening at the camp. He figured it would be good to have a log of everything.

Chuck found himself nearing Castiel’s cabin. He peeked in for a moment hoping that Castiel would not be naked or anything. 

He knocked on the door, “Uh....Cas?” he asked him softly. “Cas its me....I have some uh, toilet paper and other things you might want...” Chuck asked sheepishly.


This is what he resorted too. Once a great Prophet of the Lord, now a looser carrying bags of toilet paper and pantry items to different cabins. He sighed trying not to look TOOO miserable.

He continued to walk inside. “Cas?” he asked again. He frowned when he opened Cas’s door. ‘Aw man...” he muttered.
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CASTIEL NOVAK
Posted: Oct 3 2010, 11:14 PM


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Castiel had not been awake when Chuck came into his cabin, passed out on his face, the sheets thrown off his naked form, Castiel slept. This was a human reflex that he enjoyed right off the bat, when his angelic powers started to wan.

At first Castiel was filled with nothing but complaints, his first human emotion that he could confidently own was disdain, then pain, and confusion, exhaustion, hunger, and all the while Dean had to be the one on the receiving end of his complaints.

Months passed under this new discovery of his human vessel no longer being what it was and transforming into what he is now, a human with brief perceptions of other knowledge.

Between his whining Dean had put Castiel to work, simply to get his mind off of the realization that humanity was now more his family than the angels above. He helped Dean find a camp, refugees, and settled into a rhythm, finding his place among the compound when he had found a means to quiet his persistent wonderings of life and what it would entail for him to be comfortable.

Dean taught him to hold his liquor, and despite not being a full fledged angel anymore, his tolerance was rather high, and thereafter so was Castiel. He had decidedly entered into his new human life wanting to enjoy the pleasures of the world while inherently keeping a sense of community and brotherhood. He'd explain all of this to anyone who asked him but, the shorthand reference to what Castiel was to the group of survivors was; hippie.

Whether in his Angelic days to now, Castiel had seen his share of pain and suffering among humankind, but now that he was part of that line, why was it so bad to want to find happiness in the disaster. Whatever he found here at Deans camp was worth fighting for, when the time came for it..whenever Dean said the word, Castiel was right there alongside him.

Dean had been a leader from the day Castiel was charged to bring him up from the swamps of Hell.

A life of meditation, congregation, naturally sating substances and love, wasn't so bad a life to find on the frays of the pummeling Croatoan times, though some would beg to differ with the lot they have been handed now, like Chuck.

Castiel could see the adventure lost in his eyes, and still being one who could perceive every now and then, he felt the mans sense of loss, for what he is now, he feels is not as grand or important as what he once was.

Castiel knew the feeling, but Chuck wasn't the kind who would add himself to the group for long. He was a particular prophet and now he was just a particular man, and a little high strung. He had never seen anyone so demoralized off of the depletion of toilet paper.

Chuck needed a break and Castiel was planning on giving him a break, slipping a bit of weed into his spaghetti sauce but that plan had gone on the waiting list as sampling which buds wold make the best supplement, turned into a seance of minds, as he liked to cal it, which then closed off with the habitual orgy, in which Castiel was sure the love made would ensure Chucks inner healing...whatever that meant.

Now, as Chuck opened the door to his room Castiel squinted against the light that begun to pour in, unmindful and not bothered at all by his nakedness, or as he called it; his freedom. He rolls over and looks to the shadow at his door, just by the way he is standing Castiel knows who it is.

"Hey man, we're havin spaghetti today."
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CHUCK SHURLEY
Posted: Oct 3 2010, 11:34 PM


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Chuck too was getting used to things. This life...was never his life before. How did they all end up there? Sometimes he felt like there was nothing to do but whine and bitch about how life was treating them all. Then there was Dean. He knew how much loosing Sam meant to Dean, and he knew that Dean was still thinking about it day in and day out. Still....Chuck wished he was able to help more.

Chuck remembered when Cas was fussy. He would complain constantly and it would almost drive him mad, but still...being human wasn’t easy, especially when you weren’t human anymore.

Chuck didn’t know how to react to things at camp right about now. All he knew was, he had to just go with the flow for the time being. That part was hard. Impossible even.

He sighed as he looked around the room, everything was different. Castiel wasn’t the same person anymore and Chuck wanted more then anything to help him. He knew Cas wouldn’t want his help, but still. He didn’t care.

As he saw Cas butt naked, he gasped a bit at first as he held towels.

“Gah....” Chuck cried out a bit as Castiel continued to move around in the bed. He flinched walking over to him. “Cas--- I uh....we have to stop meeting like this...” Chuck rubbed the back of his neck.

He sighed as he continued to fix things around in his room a bit. It was his job, mostly, and he acted as counselor at times too when people needed him. Afterall, he WAS a prophet, so he hoped he would be able to use that much in him at least.

“Cas....” Chuck said

He put the towels down and showed Cas where they were. “Um...fresh towels...” he said to him with a sigh.

He sat down on the edge of Castiel’s bed for a minute and looked at him. “Look Cas, I don’t know....what it means to loose grace or anything like that...I’m just a lonely prophet but...” Chuck rubbed the back of his neck. “This can’t be good for you...” he said to him trying to make sense out of everything.
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CASTIEL NOVAK
Posted: Oct 3 2010, 11:57 PM


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To appease Chuck and to make him feel more comfortable, Cas pulls the towel around his nakedness, fastening the worn yet still useful cloth at his waste with a chuckle.

"Chuck I haven't been an angel for awhile, but I know an offer to genuflect when I see it. Relax man." Sifting through the mess on the makeshift nightstand, Castiel finds what he was looking for, a freshly rolled joint, and sparks it with a wooden match, taking a long pull before he grins and lets out a slithering puff of smoke that halos his head. "You gatta stop talkin about yourself like you've passed on. Ever hear of a self fulfilling prophecy..?" Castiel chuckles at the word asociation concidering who he is talking to. "Sorry man, I know that stuff is a bit touchy for you but..." He takes another pull "You gatta take things as they come, yanno...thinkin about tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow, will break any mind that even tries t do that nowadays." Just dressed in the towel, Castile shoves out of bed and begins pacing as he speaks. "I mean look at this room. you know how everyone always complains how this place is always a mess..cluttered?" With another pull he exhales another breath of pungent smoke, smiling now as if he had won a Bingo prize at a church convention. "it's not a mess. I know where everything is, as it is, exactly.. now..today..this minute. Because this is today and..tomorrow, maybe that box of whatever that is in the corner, wont be in the corner because I wont need it there, but I don't know, and I wont know until tomorrow gets here."

He pauses for a moment, looking out the carved hole that was his window in the shack he lived in. It would seem he had even forgotten he was speaking to anyone in particular as the silence grows and he mutters "The world that was, the world that is, and the world that will be..." He nods grinning now, passing his hand over the stubble of his beard. "yeah man." He turns around, looking over at the concerned Chuck sitting on the edge of the bed, he stretches his arm out, offering the joint to Chuck knowing that he wouldn't take it from him, when the camp had gotten around to hearing AND seeing what some of Castiels other previous endeavors to enjoy the bounty that nature delivered, the outcome of all of them, seemed to involve Castiel sleeping naked somewhere.

"That's got to be good."

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CHUCK SHURLEY
Posted: Oct 4 2010, 12:18 AM


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Chuck looked at Castiel as he started to talk. He continued to help pick up his room, even though Castiel was telling him everything was fine how it was. It wasn’t fine. It was a mess. Couldn’t he see that? Couldn't anyone see anything anymore? As Castiel found the joint that he was looking for, Chuck frowned. Was this really Castiel? The same one who had tried to save Dean Winchester and the others when the Archangel had fried him? He didn’t understand it.

Castiel lit up the joint and Chuck grabbed it from his hand. “Stop it!” he said to him. He couldn’t stand seeing his friend this way. “Stop, please,” he said. “Human or not this isn’t YOU Castiel,” he said shaking his head. “Surely you can find some sort of your old personality back, right?” he asked.

He hoped that was the case, but if not, Chuck would work with him. He wanted to be there for Cas to help. Just as he was often with Dean. He knew how much Dean was hurting. He wanted to be there for everyone he ever had a vision about.

“I’m not...talking about myself like I passed on man!” Chuck said to Cas. “I’m not!” he said. “I’m not the one smoking joints and....having a sex.....convention!” he said pointing his finger at the angel. “Castiel, this isn’t YOU man...” he said trying to talk some sense into him. “Look, I know you lost a lot, but...but you don’t have to act like this,” he said. 

He stepped on the floor and frowned. He suddenly knew what Cas meant by Spaghetti and that they were having it tonight. “I mean, your not even making SENSE,” Chuck said. He sighed as he scraped the sauce of whatever food was on his foot off of his foot. He was completely disgusted.

As Cas offered the joint to Chuck he frowned, “No,” he said, “No thank you. I like to keep SOME of my brain,” he said shaking his head. He took the joint and crumpled it with his foot.


He sat right next to Castiel. “Cas please...” he said. “Stop this?” Chuck asked. “I know we weren’t ever really close before but....Cas...we need you back....” he said. "I want to help," he added.
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CASTIEL NOVAK
Posted: Oct 4 2010, 12:42 AM


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Chuck was seriously too high strung and as he reacted to Castiel, Cas tried to remain sympathetic to the squirely Chuck. He was honestly trying to help, Castiel could see that but, Chuck was always trying to help, a habit that he had taken from the old world into the new one.

Castiel shakes a hand through his unkempt hair and sighs. "Chuck, don't take this the wrong way but, just because you used to write the songs that made the whole world sing, doesn't mean you hand picked the choir." Deliberately Castiel takes a long pull off of the joint, looking at Chuck before he padded knowingly about the mess in the room to where he had a pair of clean pants. Chuck seemed to have a need to clean up after people, to move about, and it seemed futile to even attempt to pickup after Castiel as things would fall into what people would call disarray in minutes, but what was chaos to others, Castiel called his organized mess. He really did know where his things were, and it was a habit he had not been able to shake since his angelic form had taken a more substantially human mold. Everything in heave was so organized, and people on earth were always striving for order, not an agreed upon statue of it, but simply a matter of order. Wars were fought for less, and so, instead of becoming bogged down with the stress of having to find a place for everything, Castiel simply let everything find it's own place as it needed. Sure inanimate objects had no existential thought or life, but that is where Castiels speech about living in the now applied. Things were where they needed to be according to his thought patterns for that day.

Chuck was wrong. Castiel had not lost himself, much like his living quarters, he simply let go of the vehement need to be astutely organized and simply grouped what he had all together, like a hobo with no real destination, and went with the flow, where his feet took him.

Now his feet took him to the bag Chuck had brought in with him, taking his reserves of supplies alotted to him, the joint now dangling from his lips.

"You people still can't get used to the fact that I've joined you, picked up my arms and followed you. Before all this, i was Castiel, the angel of the Lord, and now I'm Castiel the Hippie, but what you guys forget to realize; angel or not, I've always been first and foremost just Castiel." He ashes on the floor , rummaging through another pile before he find a tin cup with a bit of whatever he had been drinking whenever he had filled the cup up. "And they're not sexconventions. They're spiritual journeys on the portal of the physical plane... you could do with a journey Chuck; free your mind."
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CHUCK SHURLEY
Posted: Oct 4 2010, 01:07 AM


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Chuck sighed knowing that he wasn’t going to say anything to Castiel that would get to him so he shut up for the time being. He decided to continue to pick up Castiel’s mess on the ground. Or his....organized mess, as he called it. The thing was, cleaning up helped Chuck get his mind off of things.

“Castiel, your words don’t make sense anymore,” he said as Casitel said something about a choir. He shook his head, “Come on,” he muttered, “Time to get out of bed and DO something,” he said.

As Cas took a pull of another joint Chuck shook his head watching in disgust. “Casitel stop it!” he said. “Just stop!” Chuck said angrily. 

It wasn’t like he hadn’t had his fair share of beer and liquor in his days, but this, was a bit much, even for him.

“Cas, even Dean is worried about you, although he probably wouldn’t admit it outloud,” Chuck said. 

He frowned when Cas continued talking to him. Nothing Cas was saying seemed to make sense to him.

Chuck sighed as he let him talk mindless trips. If Cas was going to be like this, Chuck wasn’t so sure he wanted to be around it. He sighed shaking his head.

“Spiritual journeys?” he asked Cas “How so?” he was confused. How could having sex be a spiritual journey?

Still....Chuck was into that sorta thing, at least he always had been before.

“Y-You want ME to take one?” he asked Casitel suddenly. He stared at him surprised. “I uh, well....okay. What do I do?” he asked. He wasn’t sure what Cas’s TRIPS were like , nor if he wanted to experience one. Maybe if he DID experience one, he would understand.
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CASTIEL NOVAK
Posted: Oct 4 2010, 01:47 AM


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Again he chuckled but more out of frustration at Chuck than anything else. "No, don't do that. I'm not some self deprecating ignorant to my own situation, rambling free mind. My words don't make sense because you don't want to take the time to sit down and listen to them. You can hear me Chuck, but you haven't listened to a word I've said since we got to this place, and I get it. I'm okay with it. To each his own, ya know." He stops at the door, butting out the joint and taking Chuck by the shoulders, looking him straight in the eyes. "I'm just Castiel man. I don't have the wings, and I don't have the regime of Heaven leading me. I've got choice, I've got humanity, I've got this place, the people that live within these gates, and I've got here and now." He holds eyecontact with chuck for a few moments before he moves the man aside with a grunt of an epiphany, having found a shirt, under what functioned as a sink, yanking it over his head.

"Now, if you're serious about takin this journey...and many more after that, what you gatta do first is." with a crooked grin Castiel tilts his head to and fro before moving out of the shack. "Okay well...What was your first time like? you gatta go back to that because that right there.?!" he claps Chuck on the back as they walk about the compound. "That's the first journey man, the first time is always the sacred time. Read your bible man, any religion that covets their virgins, that's why; they don't wanna taint the sacred. The purity of that first journey, you live to be a hundred years old, you wont forget it."

Though unknown to Chuck Castiel has lead them into the female bathing quarters. This was a clearing of four makeshift stalls built in pairs, scantily scattered about the area where, fresh water was carried in pales to the boarded off sections away from their living quarters, where the women would have the privacy to wash. This was only an area they were merely passing through to get to Castiels destination of The Rock.

As they walked Castiel smiled and nodded at any face turned to him, and now a few women draped in towels, some dressed for the day, some dressed for their short walk to the showers.

"Cas, is it Tantric Exploration tonight?" Asked a curvy redhead. her name was Cynthia.
"Cynthia that's not for another two nights, but I'm glad you're eager to learn. it will help." Cynthia kisses Castiel on the cheek and runs off with a grin
"Cas, I think last night, I was able to taste my chakra!" exclaimed Bailey, a tall slender thing with wavy brown hair that went down to her knees.
"The food of the gods, right?1" Castiel responded.
"Oh definitely, it was like nothing I've ever tasted and yet, everything."
"Everything in nothing." He added before he handed Bailey a hug.
"My third eye was revealed to me in a dream Castiel!"
"The Eye sees and your soul blinks." As if he had delivered the holy grail to the group, there is an audible sigh of reverence.
"Who's up for joining me for yoga by The Rock?" The group quickly disperses as those who do not have duties for the morning, rushed off to prepare and others who worked the morning shift hustled off to their stations.

Without skipping a beat Castiel continues his dialogue with Chuck as if nothing had happened. "Life is moving from place to place, if not literally then...take your writing, people read your books for a sense of escapism, going somewhere else without really having to go somewhere else. That as a sacred time for whoever picked up your books. When you write, you're not really conscious of where you're sitting, what time it is, what you're wearing; you escape those confines to become the words you deliver on those pages. Even this place, we move around to ensure its protection, protect those that need it because whether you wanna admit it or not, this place is sacred. it isn't..out there, ya know..?"
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CHUCK SHURLEY
Posted: Oct 4 2010, 09:05 PM


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Chuck watched as Castiel continued talking. “It’s not that i don’t want to take time to listen to them Cas, its just....your rambling....” he said to him honestly. He sighed as he followed him, “I have listened to what you have said Cas,” he told him, “I have, but...I’m just not getting it...your not yourself anymore,” he said. “I know you think you changed, and that its....for the better maybe? But-But I’m not so sure it is,” Chuck said. “I mean....I know your JUST Castiel...but...” he sighed. “The thing is you always kept ME sane Cas,” he said. “Now everythings just....insane and different! I can’t even come to you anymore about....stuff...and I don’t know...” Chuck sighed trying to get a grip on things here.

He looked at Castiel for a moment, “I’m serious Cas,” he said “I trust you man, and well....you know that but....” he looked at him. “I know i need to relax more,” he said honestly. “I mean what else CAN you do around here?” he asked.

“Your asking me about my first time?” Chuck asked wide eyed. He never really told anyone that before. Let alone Cas, the former angel. “Well I guess it was okay....” he rubbed the back of his neck a bit. “I mean...it wasn’t bad...” he didn’t know how to answer him. “The girl and I didn’t stay together though...” he said.

As they continued walking Chuck noticed the women draped in towles and he raised his eyebrows. “These are all...YOUR girls?” he asked staring at the angel. This was insane. There was no way.....was there? 

Then all the girls started talking. “Tantric....Exploration? What the hell...no wait...I um, don’t want to know...” he said.

“Yoga...by the rock?” he asked listening to everything. 

Chuck stared at Cas and the girls a minute and his heart started to race. Was this...REALLY what was best for them?

He stared at Cas for a minute. “O-Okay Cas I’m uh....ready...” Chuck said, “Just tell me what else I need to do,” he said a bit nervously. He wanted to gain the angels trust, and if this was how he did it....he would take it...
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CASTIEL NOVAK
Posted: Oct 4 2010, 10:08 PM


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"You see Chuck." Cas stops before they reached the hollered destination. "Previous Cas, old world Cas would say something crass about your knack of understading..or something, because I've said the -same- thing to you about 3 times, and you STILL haven't heard it.

As an angel, because I was still detached from you guys running around on earth, I had a problem adjusting my skills and abilities to accommodate situations. I did it, with Deans help, I was able to see the gray areas that humanity swims in EVERYDAY when they make decisions. And choosing life is just a plethora of decisions to be made.The more things spiraled, the more human I began to feel.

Anyone who knew me from then, to now... I just can't explain what it is to be an angel changed into a man. It was horrible..at first it was ... but because I chose life, it got better, even with the mess that the world was getting covered in like a candied apple." He is about to continue but catches himself straying into other subjects. There was just so much he'd wanted to say to Chuck, and every time the two men came together like this, it was the same thing; Chuck near mourning for the loss of what Castiel was, and Castiel trying to dig through this peripheral mourning, to get at the heart of Chucks loss; the loss of the world as he knew it.

Everyone had suffered here in the camp. Everyone had seen their version of the world, crumble and dissipate into chaos, they'd all had to adjust and readjust to survive. This was what it was now, to be human, and now the world as colored by enclaves of camps, of those who had adjusted and readjusted so much, that their hope, eventhough it was tarnished and cut into pieces, their hope remained so strong that they felt obligated to spread that to others.

Dean had that in him, but Castiel knew well enough than to breach that subject.

"You have to get your head out of what was, man. Okay sure, I kept you sane before, fine but, that was BEFORE, look around you Chuck, there isn't any of that left for anyone now. We've all had to start over." With a clap on his back Castiel continued to walk. "Those people, those women..." Castiel grins and shakes his head. "They aren't mine. One thing I still haven't adjusted to is the sense of ownership people accumulate when they decide to hook up, or get hitched or...whatever it is you kids call it. They belong to themselves. That's like saying since you and I are speaking,i belong to you and you belong to me." Now Castiel laughs, while trying to resume speaking to Chuck. "I'm sorry man..the mere thought of that...you'd totally be the skirt." He closes his eyes, still smiling, but catching his breath, the folding laughter fading, as he brings Chucks words back to mind.

"I can tell we're going to have to go a different route with you." Coming up to the shadow of the big rock where the yoga lesson would take place, Castiel turns Chuck towards the rows of women talking amongst themselves. Standing next to Chuck, Castiel briefly points out a few/

"Cynthia..the redhead. Her favorite game from the old world, guitar hero..she also played darts, her uncle came down from Ireland every thanksgiving and showed her how to play. She misses cotton candy, and hopes that she still has some surviving family out west. It's why she takes shifts out with the mapping crew when they stretch out. I also know she has a birthmark in the shape of a pear under her right thigh. "

Castiel points out another woman, skin the color of caramel, curly hair puled back tightly into a ponytail, who has already started her sun salutation. "Lacey, runs every morning, because she says with the quiet the morning brings, it reminds her that the world can be good again. HER mother used to say love and safety were were the things worth fighting for. Her motehr died in a war herself, but those words are like Laceys mantra, it's what she says to herself everyday she goes on security patrol.She can also hold her breath for a long time.

Denise over there by the tree..? She finds it useless that she can speak three languages, and wonders when the world gets back on track, what writing will look like, or even if we'll need the written word since people talk about their time in the now, beyond description..She works in the infirmary...She can also do this amaaaazing thing with her tongue.

Then there's Sara, she helps out in the kitchen, never cooked a day in her life until the virus hit and she had to slum it on her own. She says cooking is like art, she plays to it like a paint by numbers. She's also really bendy...So, ya see what I mean..? the magic isn't in what they are but, in HOW they are.That's your problem, you get tangled up in the what too often. You gatta listen man.." Castiel gives Chuck a look that says duh. "Well, if you don't wanna listen, Wendy, Sasha and Holly don't talk much, and they're not opposed to takin journeys. Your decision." With his arms open, he tilts his head curiously at Chuck before he grins. "Life, right?!"
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CHUCK SHURLEY
Posted: Oct 6 2010, 12:23 AM


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Chuck looked at Cas as he continued to ramble on and on and say that HE wasn’t getting it. He was half right, he WASN’T Getting it. This was NOT Cas! It was driving him nuts actually, he wanted to shake Cas by the shoulders and knock some sense into him.

“It’s not that I haven’t listened to you Cas. YOUR not listening to ME man,” Chuck said getting a bit frustrated with him. “Look man, i get what your saying I do, but the thing is...” he said. “What I don’t get is WHY,” he said. “Cas, we could USE you now, I -I mean to fight you know!?” he asked. “We could use your skills! I know your not an angel, I know you can’t do the ‘poofing thing, anymore,” he shook his head, “But seriously man, we NEED you,” Chuck said. “Dean MOST of all. He lost his brother dude!” Chuck told him. “You used to be his friend. Sure, you still are I guess, but your so high strung that nothing else matters!” he said.

He knew Cas would get pissed at him but he didn’t care. Chuck needed to say what he had to say. He wanted Cas back, for Dean, for everyone.

As Cas described the women, he looked at them all. He wasn’t sure WHICH one to pick or anything, but he also was confused as to why all these girls hung out around him. What did he have here? He just didn’t get it nor did he WANT to understand it.

“Cas...listen to me, I think...this is great and all, and yea maybe i”ll try it but....this isn’t YOU,” he said. “I KNOW what it was like for you in the beginning, I was there, remember? Who stuck by you when it first started happening?” he shook his head pissed, “Remember THAT?” he asked.

He stared at his friend. ‘Look...I will do whatever you say will work becuase...you are my friend,” hes aid “I trust you,” he sighed. “I just wish...you trusted me more when i said you need to stop this....” Chuck said holding out another joint he found. He couldn’t bare to see Cas like this. “This, this will kill you Cas...LISTEN to me, and maybe I will start listening to you more,” he said. "Your human Cas...it actually COULD kill you...and that may not worry you, but it worries the HELL out of me," he said.
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CASTIEL NOVAK
Posted: Oct 6 2010, 04:21 AM


Unregistered









"we have got to find a dictionary on our next supply run, because if i'm high strung, what does that make you? Constipated?" He takes Chuck aside, all seriousness sitting in his eyes now. "Look, -you're- not getting anything Chuck." With blinking blue eyes, he looks Chuck face to face, his hands on his shoulders before he spoke firm and over enunciating his words. "THIS IS NOT THE OLD DAYS! Being an angel didn't just mean poofing and putting people to sleep, and if you'd just OPEN your eyes you'd see, that these women, all this.. I'm not just talking out of my ass and fucking girls. I do my part. I said it the day I touched feet to earth; i will follow Dean to the END, and I'm still here, and if he thinks we have miles to go; I'm there because you know what. I realize that people don't just find hope, they NEED it, and this is Deans hope, doing all this..? That's how he deals, and guess what? He isn't the Dean of before either.

We've all lost Chuck, so trying to get me to weigh out Deans loss, against yours, against mine...?" He began pacing as he shook his head, giving a sour laugh. "That's asking a peach tree to grow apples. So please forgive me if I don't see the point in taking advice from the guy who cries at the sight that some encampments have run out of toilet paper. This whole this isn't you talk, come on Chuck! if you even knew me in the first place you'd know that THAT kinda speech doesn't fly with me, never has been the talk to spur me into holy action. I mean, don't you remember what i DID as an angel? For the love of...I was an ANGEL OF THE LORD, Chuck. I was supposed to follow His ULTIMATE orders, no matter what; I was supposed to fall in line, and just do what I was told, and make sure things happened a certain way so, lemme tell you; what you knew back then was me not being me in the first place. And you know what? Even with the perilous state of the world.." Castiel shrugs and leans his back up against the stability of the boulder behind him. "I'd do the same things over again, because that brought me here, brought me to now. And even if the others would choose differently, I still believe I'd end up here, with you all because, I was never able to feel human emotion completely, understand your understanding, your actions and reactions...there was always something impeding me from it,and although nothing compares to being an angel, I'm glad that it doesn't, that nothing can compare.

So, I'm sorry Chuck, I'm sorry that I'm not the Castiel you want me to be, or the Castiel you thought I was, but I wont be sorry for being the Castiel I'm supposed to be." With a gripping glare, he holds eyecontact with Chuck just as he would when the world was only on the lip of disarray. Angelic form he had not, but Castile would always have his habits, and his facial expressions were the ones that lasted through the long haul.

"If you wanna worry about what can kill.. take a shift on security duty. I don't know if you've heard of something called Croatoan. Now, if it's all the same to you, I'm going to center my chakras, and breathe in the now." Closing his eyes, he takes a deep breath, muttering on the exhale. "Inner peace." the serious tones affected on his features, seemingly melted away, and that lazy half grin returned to his lips.

"I'm human, living with human choices."
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CHUCK SHURLEY
Posted: Oct 6 2010, 09:51 PM


Member
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Group: PROPHET
Posts: 21
Member No.: 20
Joined: 3-October 10



Chuck looked at Cas and let him talk. He sighed when he stared describing ‘high strung,’ to him. He frowned. “I AM Getting it Cas,” Chuck said “I know its not the old days, that’s not the point man,” he said. “I’m not going to keep arguing about it, I just...” he looked at his friend for a moment, “You can BE human without being a druggie,” he said. “You would probably be fine if you were, you would be a nice guy even!” Chuck said.

Chuck drank a lot sure, and at times he had tried a few things, but still. Cas was just...Cas and he knew he had to accept him for who he was.

“Look Cas, I’m sorry, I won’t say anymore about it ok man? I know in my own times I had my fair share of drinking and drugs myself,’ he said with a shake of his head.

“Man, don’t be sorry,” he said. “You don’t have to apologize for being someone who you are,” he said not sure HE was making sense now. He didn’t want Castiel to feel bad or anything, that wasn’t why he came.

“Look man, lets try your thing here ok?” Chuck asked him, “Maybe I”ll like it and come to ...terms with who you are now?” he suggested.


It was worth a shot anyway. He remembered when he rank and everything he WAS much, MUCH more relaxed, so even so he hoped that things would stay the same.

He sat down for a minute trying to collect his thoughts. What was Cas going to have him do exactly? This whole place was a bit trippy. Those GIRLS were trippy.
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CASTIEL NOVAK
Posted: Oct 7 2010, 06:19 PM


Unregistered









“Hey, if you wanna be a monk, by all means, don’t let my life choices stop you man. Infact, I’d applaud your decision, old age monk in a new age kinda world…” Castiel nodded as he climbed atop the rock.

“What’s the difference between going mad and the ravings of a person touched by god…? It’s all about who documents it.” Chuckling at his own Joke Castiel looks over the gathering of men and women who have come to stretch and welcome the day.

There was a bigger reason as to why Castiel enjoyed this activity. As he told Chuck, he was no angel anymore but, there were still traces of abilities left with him, and here, now, he could see how being together like this calmed the chaos that was swirling over everyones head.

Since the Croatoan, nobody knew if their own survival was guaranteed, the camp gave them hope, but the reassurance they needed was a slow crawling progress. People worried about themselves and the people who weren’t in the camp with them. People question their survival as they are living it but here, now….?

Any instance that Castiel could join people together, he was doing it more for them than for himself. The sense of community made people calm, made them understand that even if there were no answers to the question of why me/why them…that they were not as singular in their frustrations as they thought.
“Goodmorning everyone, and if it isn’t it will be.” A wave of whispered laughter washed over the gathering before they began to mimic Castiels movements.
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CHUCK SHURLEY
Posted: Oct 8 2010, 10:31 AM


Member
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Group: PROPHET
Posts: 21
Member No.: 20
Joined: 3-October 10



Chuck looked at Cas and sighed. Clearly he wasn’t getting through to him, or if he was, it didn’t matter. It was the end times now, so things were different. Hell, everything changed. Sam was Lucifer, Dean was....a wreck and everything else was just.... Chuck moaned as he heard Castiel speak about the monks. 

“Listen Cas, I never said I wanted to be a monk, ok?” Chuck asked with a shake of his head, “Let’s just do this thing,’ he said “Your right man,” he told him. “Your right, ok? I mean...why not live life to the fullest?” he asked.


Cas DID have a point. Chuck used to do the same kind of things when he first found out he was a prophet. All he did was drink. He got drunk, did drugs, whatever he could to hopefully STOP the visions. Nothing seemed to work for him. They still came. He even offered to ‘off’ himself but Zechariah only told him they would just bring him back.

It was true, being together DID calm people and Castiel was right at that part. “Cas your right man,” he said again “Being together.....I can see how its working here, its better then being alone,” Chuck muttered thinking of Dean. 

“Your friend Dean, OUR friend Dean...IS alone, does he ever join in?” he asked. “I wouldn’t think so.....he wanders around camp all day as if he’s in a trance,” Chuck told him. “He lost so much and now...” Chuck shrugged. “Look man, just....lets do this ok?” he asked.

He watched as Castiel joined the group together with happiness. This was the most happy he had seen ANYONE in the camp, so he had to give Cas credit. As Cas told everyone good morning Chuck stood by him. “Uh....good morning...” he said to them also waving a bit.
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